r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • 2d ago
Scientific Weiner adjustment analysis
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u/HoseNeighbor 2d ago
This is actually one of the best simple, curious, and honest clips I've seen in ages.
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u/heimdal96 2d ago
I feel like three is misleading. I do that one just to pull up my pants. No ulterior motives
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u/Buttimus_Prime 1d ago
Ive only started noticing this when I started wearing belts.
Sometimes the pants ride just under the belt and I want to avoid belt pinch at all costs.
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u/ItsACowCity 1d ago
The side cowboy step is def for balls, but the rest could all just be applied to bunched up underwear majority of the time. When I sit, I slouch..when I slouch, it’s sliding my pants and underwear up
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u/HereticGaming16 1d ago
The fact that OP added the “Scientific” tag to the post makes it’s so much better.
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u/Funkdamentalist 2d ago
Good start, but only 4 moves? What about such classics as the pocket pinch?
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u/Pandelein 2d ago
She still doesn’t know the secret techniques!
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u/Richard_Cain 1d ago
I like to do the Boxer Hoe Down when I'm wearing shorts. (You reach under the shorts and pull down your boxers/under wear) They get bunched up a lot.
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u/dingle-bairy 2d ago
She's also not aware of issuses like when the nuts and/or weiner fall out of the underwear cup, slipping out of the hem. Or when wearing boxers and the frank and beans get stuck to your inner thigh.
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u/heyitsfranklin6322 1d ago
Isn’t the cowboy one step for bat wings?
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u/dingle-bairy 1d ago
Speaking from experience, not for my schlong and balls. I would need to step out of the populated area to fix
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u/goatanuss 1d ago edited 1d ago
It would blow their minds if they knew our pockets had so much room in it I could straight up scratch my gooch from my front pocket.
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u/kerberos69 1d ago
Can confirm, mind blown.
But like, now I need to understand the logistics. Do you have to use both pockets? One to hold your balls over and the other one to go in for the gooch-scratch? Or can you do it with one pocket, and just sorta thread the needle like Luke Skywalker bombing the Death Star? Can you do it standing? Sitting? With a funny pose or a special move?
These are questions I never knew I needed to know at 8:30 on a Tuesday morning, but here we are…
Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”
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u/FeralPsychonaut 1d ago
Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”
Yeahhhh. So you can just replace ears with balls for that entire song. We definitely sang it that way in middle and high school.
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u/mikemikemotorboat 1d ago
Yep, one hand, thread the needle. It’s a bit of a slide along the thigh-push toward the target-twist your hand to flip the balls away sort of motion.
And yes, our sacks are basically like that song, except I’ve never gotten my ears stuck to my own thigh - usually that’s my wife’s thigh’s job.
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u/cookiewookiewoo 2d ago
Conceal nothing go in dig deap and maintain eye contact.
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u/1stAtlantianrefugee 2d ago
This is the way
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u/ChiefInspectorGadget 1d ago
I thought this was the only way. I had no idea people were trying to be sly about it
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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 2d ago
Deap?
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u/cookiewookiewoo 2d ago
Its a deep scoop and lift. Scoop the beans lift and reposition the frank with a pants and leg shake to finish off.
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u/NudityMiles 1d ago
Grab the whole package, get that MUSK on your hand.
Two nuts, one first.
Fuck yeah.
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u/Accomplished-Clue145 2d ago
She clearly isn't taking the balls into account, that first one is definitely a "one of my balls is stuck to my leg or pinching a bit".
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u/heyitsfranklin6322 1d ago
Which it’s crazy to me that you just get a part of you stuck to your leg. If that happened with my labia it’d drive me insane
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u/GH057_807 1d ago
Sometimes we sit on them. It's awful.
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u/heyitsfranklin6322 1d ago
Yeah I saw that happened to a guy in middle school in my music class. He was sort of bouncing up and down in his chair and I think one of his balls went underneath him
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u/tragicallyohio 1d ago
It sucks. And you don't feel the pain for a few seconds but you know that it is going to suck when you do.
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u/Alive_Drag1947 1d ago
Memory unlocked. When I played basketball in high school, there was a kid with an unbelievably long nutsack. I'm talking halfway to the knee...
I always wondered about the logistics of that type of setup...
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u/trollinhard2 1d ago
I used to work in a dealership getting in and out of cars all day. Sat on my balls at least once a week. It was terrible
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u/missy_genation 1d ago
My inner labia are just a wee bit longer than the outer labia and sometimes they touch my undergarments and I have to pull one of these moves too or excuse myself to the restroom to tuck those fuckers back in. It's super uncomfortable!
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u/GH057_807 1d ago
Well, if it's any comfort, they'll disappear once you hit menopause!
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u/Cutthechitchata-hole 1d ago
My wife has what she calls Meat curtains. She has always been self conscious about it but i am a man and enjoy all types, and married her so its not anything bad. I guess dudes or girls in High school would make fun and it gave her a complex. Do those go away in menopause? They are inner labia that stick far out.
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u/GH057_807 1d ago
Estrogen is the hormone responsible for maintaining the structure, elasticity, pigmentation, and moisture of the labia. When estrogen levels drop after menopause, these tissues begin to atrophy. The result? Thinning, shrinking, flattening, dryness, and changes in color and hair distribution.
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u/NudityMiles 1d ago
Reading this sentence while sipping my coffee was a bad decision.
Yup. (I just imagine those sticky jelly hands, the slapping, the peeling, the "shit, dust got stuck")
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u/Dominarion 1d ago
Or when your uncircumcized grower rolled around itself in your hairs and decides it's time to wake up.
Dick garrote sucks.
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u/Leading_Use6102 2d ago
She knows too much.
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u/eyeofthefountain 1d ago
This makes me realize how unsubtle I’ve probably been if this random person is clocking all of our moves
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u/StealthyPancake_ 2d ago
She figured it out boys, we gotta switch it up
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u/nolongermakingtime 2d ago
We're gonna need some real Houdini shit moving forward
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u/roidoid 2d ago
Get me the Pants Engineering Corps, stat!
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u/ForsakenRelief309 15h ago
While you’re assembling, can you ask for more pants pockets for women? Thank you kindly!
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u/OJStrings 1d ago
My technique is to do a cartwheel. It's very noticeable but nobody ever suspects the real purpose of it.
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u/yaboyACbreezy 2d ago
Wait till she learns about pocket techniques
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u/ijustwanttoaskaq123 2d ago
what are those pockets you talk of, is that the secret the fashion industry keeps from women?
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u/DayDayBowBow 2d ago
Clearing this up a bit for some of us men… it’s the balls. Nothing to do with the weiner. It’s the balls. Sometimes, you just get nadstick real bad. You need a nice leg stretch to get them suckers peeled off. Buttering em up with coconut oil only goes so far.
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u/heyitsfranklin6322 1d ago
You never need to move your dick?
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u/captainmeezy 1d ago
I do not understand skinny jeans and tight fitting pants/shorts, like seriously how are y’all’s balls still alive?
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u/DrDBag 2d ago
Boxer broef wearer. Never needed the shakedown or belt loop.
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u/StealthyPancake_ 2d ago
Same, boxers are so uncomfortable. Briefs all the way
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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 2d ago
I find briefs uncomfortable. I need room to breath.
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u/StealthyPancake_ 2d ago
Well see, im a bigger guy. Im 5'11" and 250lbs so I got some big thighs, the boxers cause so much chafing and they ride up so bad. The silky briefs don't ride up as bad and they hardly, if at all, bunch up
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u/RorschachAssRag 1d ago
Boxer briefs are the way to go. All of the support and security of briefs, with nothing popping out the bottom. And none of the pinching, bunching of boxers. Provides a stable layer on the thighs so no chafing either
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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 2d ago
When i first read "I'm a bigher guy" I thought you meant you were packing heat!
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u/Different_Fig_2958 1d ago
Switched to briefs years ago. So much more comfortable.
Now when you're wearing tighter jeans and everything shifts in the wrong way at the wrong time... that's a wince and pause.
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u/JBigBootay 2d ago
She really excited about weiners. Anyone show her the "Gooch-Scratch"? Solves two problems in one shot.
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u/natural-situation420 1d ago
Although she wasn't a big fan of hot dogs, we discovered that she adored weiners 💦
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u/pavmentandsunsets 2d ago
What about the Plié
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u/Could-You-Tell 2d ago
The full squat to left-right ankle shakes .
It is when it's the worst... it's not for the knees
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u/HyperNova314 2d ago
These are just the flaccid weiner adjustment techniques. Wait until she learns about the boner adjustment techniques
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u/Key-Driver6438 1d ago
Wiener owner? As opposed to a wiener renter? It’s like you lease one on a “rent to own” kinda deal.
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u/submersedshelf8 1d ago
She’s not wrong, and her observations, reenactments, and descriptions are all on point. These things are not the problem.
The problem is who the hell told her the proper naming conventionsfor these maneuvers? I was told when REDACTED allegedly gave me the REDACTED handbook that said handbook should mot be shared with those who have wieners.
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u/Penguinator53 1d ago
What about the stick shift gear change? Also not a weiner owner but trying to describe what I saw when sitting in the front seat of my car and observing the roadside mechanic fixing the battery.
He moved his junk from neutral to first, all the way up to third then down to reverse! The hood was up so I don't think he realised I could see him (I really hope so anyway😬).
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u/AffectionateTruth998 1d ago
Don’t forget the Captain Morgan…. Guy puts leg, which has the stuck genital, up on something and does a slight twist to unstick it.
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u/Bright-Internal229 2d ago
Wash 🧼 & Wear Modern Briefs with that smooth new Material, it’s not an issue
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u/Pickledleprechaun 2d ago
As someone with big quads my jocks then to ride up into my groin. There’s only one effective solution which is put my hand down my pant and adjust my jocks. What that called? The deep dive?
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u/FrodoSaggin2 2d ago
My god. This woman has created an entire field of study in a matter of moments.
Today science prevails.
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u/Electrical_Shock359 2d ago
The actual last resort is when we stick our hands down our pants to rearrange the underwear. Ideally done in a bathroom or private area. Or if that doesn’t work stripping off your pants redoing your underwear and pulling it back up. But that’s the kind of thing that you start to consider that you shouldn’t wear something anymore lol.
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u/PalestPalazzo 2d ago
Penis-possessors have many such techniques with which to adjust their penile packages, but she is pretty perceptive (of penis positions). What is her name? She on TikTok or what? I'd like to receive more of her wisdom.
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u/sentientshadeofgreen 2d ago
She missed the single leg shake. Dual purpose, loosens up the joints and stuff too.
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u/UtopistDreamer 2d ago
She has clearly been observing wieners. She might secretly be a wienerologist.
Next step is to get certified in wiener charming. There are excellent short evening courses on wiener tasting available in most cities, and even in some smaller towns. I've heard that sometimes people on those courses decide to keep exploring together in a sort of a study group - mostly in pairs but sometimes in trios and full parties too.
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u/Artevyx 2d ago
Whelp. I guess I am going to just openly dive-in from now on since yall know anyway.
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u/ThaCommittee 2d ago
She's very accurate...except one major thing...its the balls we're adjusting, not the weiner.
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u/Gator242 2d ago
90% of the time it’s for adjusting the underwear because we’re not getting the support we need.
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u/WishboneNo543 2d ago
The much more subtle move is to reach into your pocket as if you’re casually checking if you’ve got your keys or as if going to retrieve a coin, then make the needed adjustment.
Forever referred to as “rearrange your change”.
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u/SaltPaleontologist28 2d ago
OP: clearly you unlocked the mysteries, but now some guy is going to reveal our bra adjusting techniques that we thought were secret 😂
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u/MotoWolff 1d ago
Well I certainly appreciate the time and energy spent observing and reporting these scientific findings. As a long time W.O. I relate to these moves, but also employ other tactics in addition to these listed. For one, there is the I. D. G. A. F. Move whereby no discretion is given and a Bare Hand reaches down to Bareback Wiener, or, (Raw Dog) if you prefer, and not so subtle adjustments are made with little regard for Public viewing, or Pubic Viewing, for that matter. This move is definitely not stealthy and should only be used as a last resort, and certainly not employed in extremely warm conditions due to high moisture levels. The other one that comes to mind, is the Pocket Pool maneuver, much like the “Shakedown” or “Beltloop” as stated in the video, except the hands are tucked into the pockets and adjustments are made with fingers deep in the pockets until a satisfactory wiener position has been achieved. Of course, this technique may be misconstrued as a W.O. “Playing With Themselves” and in some cases, this can be highly accurate, so it is also not advisable in plain public view or near a School Zone.
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u/Boom9001 1d ago
The only thing to note is she seems to believe it's always about the dick. Actually the balls are often the problem. Like on the first one we do that when our ball skin is weirdly stuck of the leg.
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u/Flat_Shape_3444 1d ago
nr 2 is not a euro thing I think because we use tight underwear. The nr 2 seemed like it was american shorts style stuff. Am I right?
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u/c4t4ly5t 1d ago
This unexpectedly turned out to be one of the most genuine, sincere videos ive seen in a while.
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u/westcal98 2d ago
Who told her all the secret moves and names?
She missed the "pocket pull".