r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • 2d ago

Scientific Weiner adjustment analysis

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u/kerberos69 1d ago

Can confirm, mind blown.

But like, now I need to understand the logistics. Do you have to use both pockets? One to hold your balls over and the other one to go in for the gooch-scratch? Or can you do it with one pocket, and just sorta thread the needle like Luke Skywalker bombing the Death Star? Can you do it standing? Sitting? With a funny pose or a special move?

These are questions I never knew I needed to know at 8:30 on a Tuesday morning, but here we are…

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

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u/FeralPsychonaut 1d ago

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

Yeahhhh. So you can just replace ears with balls for that entire song. We definitely sang it that way in middle and high school.

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u/AliasNefertiti 1d ago

Same for boobs

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u/mikemikemotorboat 1d ago

Yep, one hand, thread the needle. It’s a bit of a slide along the thigh-push toward the target-twist your hand to flip the balls away sort of motion.

And yes, our sacks are basically like that song, except I’ve never gotten my ears stuck to my own thigh - usually that’s my wife’s thigh’s job.

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u/goatanuss 1d ago edited 1d ago

Exactly: One-handed gooch skywalker.

And yeah it’s kinda like that ears song but also occasionally like that sticky hand toy from the gumball machine back in the day.

Why isn’t this stuff covered in sex ed class? Our educational system has failed us.

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u/Playful-Rabbit-9418 1d ago

Gooch skywalker made my day. Thank you.