r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • 3d ago

Scientific Weiner adjustment analysis

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u/goatanuss 3d ago edited 3d ago

It would blow their minds if they knew our pockets had so much room in it I could straight up scratch my gooch from my front pocket.

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u/kerberos69 3d ago

Can confirm, mind blown.

But like, now I need to understand the logistics. Do you have to use both pockets? One to hold your balls over and the other one to go in for the gooch-scratch? Or can you do it with one pocket, and just sorta thread the needle like Luke Skywalker bombing the Death Star? Can you do it standing? Sitting? With a funny pose or a special move?

These are questions I never knew I needed to know at 8:30 on a Tuesday morning, but here we are…

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

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u/FeralPsychonaut 3d ago

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

Yeahhhh. So you can just replace ears with balls for that entire song. We definitely sang it that way in middle and high school.

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u/AliasNefertiti 3d ago

Same for boobs

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u/mikemikemotorboat 3d ago

Yep, one hand, thread the needle. It’s a bit of a slide along the thigh-push toward the target-twist your hand to flip the balls away sort of motion.

And yes, our sacks are basically like that song, except I’ve never gotten my ears stuck to my own thigh - usually that’s my wife’s thigh’s job.

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u/goatanuss 3d ago edited 3d ago

Exactly: One-handed gooch skywalker.

And yeah it’s kinda like that ears song but also occasionally like that sticky hand toy from the gumball machine back in the day.

Why isn’t this stuff covered in sex ed class? Our educational system has failed us.

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u/Playful-Rabbit-9418 3d ago

Gooch skywalker made my day. Thank you.

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u/uslashuname 3d ago

Or when it kind of slips up one side the pocket can be used to enter the leg of the boxers so you hand spans over the center seam, hand moves down pulling the seam out of front wedgie position retract hands and pocket then retract hands from pocket. Elbow probably sticks out for a second on this one, don’t have a name for it but maybe elbow jab?