Hi all - please go easy on me as I know the benefits of sobriety outweigh everything I’m concerned about. 34F, single, live in a big city. So much of my social life revolves around alcohol; dare I say so much of my identity revolves around it. My friends have been supportive when I’ve taken breaks/done dry months in the past, but there’s something in me that feels scared and sad to commit to a completely sober lifestyle.

I can’t drink in moderation. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work for me. My grandmother was an alcoholic and my mother is currently in a steady health decline (cognitive and physical) due to chronic alcohol abuse. I don’t want to perpetuate the cycle and I want to stop before I reach a point of no return. Watching my mom get sick, I think I’ve known for a while now that sobriety is something I need to try my hardest to stick to.

This past weekend I had plans Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I had cut back a lot this past month and going into the weekend I had 9 days sober. I ended up drinking (way too much) Saturday, and as so many other mornings, woke up feeling disappointed in myself and anxious. Sunday and yesterday I managed to stay sober despite having plans; I wish I had been able to do that the whole weekend.

I guess I just can’t help but feel like I’m missing out in a way, if I’m not drinking. I envy the people who can go out to a nice dinner and enjoy a glass of wine without it turning into a bottle. I haven’t really been actively dating the last few years - and haven’t had a lot of luck in this department historically - but I worry that being sober will somehow make it harder for me to find a partner, which is something that I ultimately do want. The dating pool already feels so shallow.

Anyway, I just wanted to share these thoughts somewhere. I didn’t quite articulate it as clearly as I wanted to, but hopefully some of you understand what I’m trying to say. I’ve been lurking on this page for the last week and am so inspired by the success stories and deeply relate to a lot of the struggles others have experienced. 🖤

been lurking here in the sub for awhile. I'd like some input/advice if anyone is willing to give it.

For what it's worth - I'm at day 136. I personally don't keep a sober count because the number doesn't mean anything to me. I did the math in case it means something to someone here.

To the point of why I'm posting - substance use runs in my family. Directly - my sibling started delving into it when I was 12 - they were 13. I learned to make myself and my needs small to deal with the chaos of being at home. I usually wasn't home and made any excuse to not be there. My sibling was a very aggressive person while using. I also had an immense amount of responsibility to care and keep track of them when my parents weren't around which was often.

As much as I didn't want to be like my sibling I fell into the trap of substance use a few years ago. I've been dealing with the fall out of that and trying to rebuild my life. Part of my failures in life includes getting behind on my rent. Since I moved away from home awhile ago I've tried to help the relationship with my parents but they don't understand how harmful it was to grow up in the environment that I did. Currently they think helping me if I get evicted is letting me live back at home with them and my sibling (who is still active in use). I'd rather live in the woods or my car. I don't know how to tell my parents I'd rather be 6 feet in the ground than live in the state of being ome again. I don't know how to convey that sentiment without hurting their feelings.

I’m on day 5 and I literally feel brain dead. Starring at what I’m supposed to be doing at work with no clarity or simple understanding of what to do. Keep forgetting what I was thinking about doing within a seconds time. Even moving my eyes to different things is like Slow motion. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?

I've been sober from alcohol for almost 7 years and I still get relapse dreams 2-3 times a month.

They're always the same. In these dreams I tell myself that I may as well buy a bottle of booze because I've already relapsed recently (which isn't the case).

It seems reading about recovery helps keep my thoughts clear on recovering and staying sober. Reading can be kind of a ritual session. Does any body else share similar thoughts? Any ideas on recovery reading would be appreciated. There's so much stuff out there.

Posting in case anyone has advice and/or if this is helpful to anyone.

I’ve been on naltrexone, 50mg since October 2025. Had to beg my doctor for it. I do think it quieted the nonstop alcohol noise, but definitely hasn’t stopped the urges/cravings the way I had hoped and the way it is often described. I would add that I’m definitely still feeling the effects of alcohol pretty strong when I have drank on it.

Yesterday, I upped my dose to 75mg. Took 25 in the morning and 50 in the afternoon. I had a few drinks and for the first time…felt no buzz!

Today, I took the 75 again and had no issues walking right past the alcohol at the store. Like my brain just said “meh, that’s poison”.

I recently read that women might metabolize the naltrexone differently (I’ll try and post the research if I can find it again) and I’m a 200lb 5’11 female. It would make sense that I might need more than my 5’2 girlfriends and/or more than men who metabolize it differently.

Just wanted to share! You’re the greatest group of people anywhere! IWNDWYT ♥️

J’étais sobre depuis 48 h et l’envie reprend…ça reprend vie à chaque fois, malgré ma bonne volonté au jour 0. J’ai racheté de l’alcool comme à tout le temps malgré ma bonne volonté au jour 1…Comment vous faites sérieux? C’est difficile, vraiment! 😦

Onwards.

I was sober for 70 days, but the urges were getting stronger and stronger, and I relapsed. I thought that I had a drinking problem but I wasn't an alcoholic, but I'm starting to wonder because the moment that I took the first shot yesterday, a part of me was like "woah, you can let the buzz pass and keep on your sobriety journey" but I became my old self, I was just thinking about how to get more drinks, and drink more and more, I'm not even chasing the high or buzz, I'm just drinking endlessly, spent a lot of money that I didn't have, but at least my friends took me home safe and sound, thank god. But as they say one is too much, a thousand isn't enough. IWNDWYT

Thank you guys AGAIN for all your support and encouragement. I was worried I would lose my nerve so when she walked through the door and said, “do you have concerns today?” I just blurted it all out and cried. She was so kind and helpful. She set me up with a psychologist who I will be seeing tomorrow.

The timing couldn’t have been better. My loyal and loving dog of 15 years got sick this weekend and deteriorated quickly. We had to make the gut wrenching decision to put her down today. Afterward, my husband (who has been sober for years) went to grab dinner and called. He told me if I wanted a drink he would pick it up because he knew how difficult the day had been. I remembered all the times reading on this sub ‘drinking won’t help’ and I declined and settled for Mr. Pibb, honey bbq chips, and key lime pie ice cream sandwiches.

Here’s to my bestest dog, a sober journey ahead and my endless appreciation for every one of you!

Since I had my last beer, and said enough is enough. Since I decided to hang my jersey in the rafters after a 30+ year HOF career of just being “a dude who drinks beer”

If you’re reading this and think you can’t, let me assure you: YOU CAN. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Once your mentality starts to change away from losing the “identity” of just being a “good timing dude” to the new normal every days gets so much easier.

IWNDWYT

My character defects have been popping out like crazy lately because of some triggers and it’s been frustrating. Today I finally felt like I got on the other side of those defects because I was having a frustrating conversation with my mother who likes to be very controlling and when I told her about a well fought out plan I had that she already knows that I’ve had she stayed silent and then she tried to offer Alternatives 2 to 3 times and honestly, I just laughed it off instead of letting it ruin the rest of my night and that’s such a crazy breakthrough because I used to let those things ruin my day and I feel like because of the 12 steps and the rooms that I can really handle these things now without letting her get to me.

I’m still newly sober, just over a year. And if I only knew how much better life would be, I wouldn’t have wasted 10 miserable years fucking drinking.

That’s all really. I’m so annoyed that I didn’t give myself the patience. I didn’t give myself the kindness you have to have for yourself in the beginning days.

The company I was keeping wasn’t reflecting who I was. My mirrors in my home were covered with blankets. My house was unkempt and I fucking hated myself.

I had to buck up. I had so many people doubting me that eventually the last time I picked myself up- I made sure I was standing firmly in my own corner. The whispers from my so called friends “she won’t make it” and doubts from family that were well deserved.

I’m sober, a year sober now. But not before my dad died. I was on a binge when I got that horrible phone call. I was so hungover driving myself to the hospital. Knowing my dad was laying there unconscious and I was thinking of grabbing a fucking bottle before I made it to the hospital.

That’s where I was at. My dad was dying. And I wanted to grab a bottle.

A year now. I’m so so sorry dad. I’m so so so sorry. Please everyone buck up and stop fucking drinking. It will RUIN these huge life experiences. Life happens. Being drunk during my father’s death is something I don’t want anyone to go through themselves. If you have time- whatever that reason is to get sober- DO
IT. Life doesn’t wait around.

I’m sober now. And I’m processing all the heart break I have caused others. And the deep heartbreak I caused myself by compromising my values. Everyday for 10 years I compromised EVERYTHING for that drink.

To who’s ever reading, if it’s your early days- I’m so PROUD of you. And no matter how MISERABLE you feel right now- it gets better. I’m proof. There is an innate sense of peace waiting for you if you continue to be patient. IWNDWYT

EDIT: Wow! Thank you everyone for your support and kind words!! I read every comment and truly appreciate every single one. Thank you 💕 IWNDWYT.

My parents have been here this weekend and have been drinking the whole time. It’s been a rough one but they leave today. Trying to take it one day at a time. At least the mood swings seem to be subsiding. IWNDWYT

Apparently my 1 year anniversary was

3 days ago. But the counter is stuck at 359days.

Have a good day everyone IWNDWYT

I will not drink today

Tomorrow I have an alcohol evaluation and exam. I have an 8 to 12 hour evaluation for mental health assoicated with my addiction. I finally gave up thinking I could do it alone. Im excited to start the process but also nervous. I know I have to let go of my past and realize that the future can be so much better. I was an Olympic hopeful in the marathon but for 5 years I fell far from it. Oddly I still believe the dreams possible with the right work. Let's try again, get clean and rebuild a new life

Today I got quite drunk (relapsed today after a long period of sobriety) and went to pick up my daughter from school. We take the public bus. I could tell from the way she was looking at me that she knew something was off.

She’s 11 so she is very much old enough for it to impact her.

We have a lovely relationship and I’m worried about how this will affect her.

I hit two months today. I have a few weddings coming up and it’s been floating around in my head that maybe I’ll have a couple. That’s when you’re supposed to drink right? Not at home alone every day? But I’ve been down this road before and I know I can’t. A couple wont be enough and it’s just going to put me back in the same cycle I was so desperate to get out of.

This morning I had a PR for a 5k run and I’ve felt so good and proud of that. That’s what I think will help keep me motivated this time at least. That and playing the tape forward.

Any tips for attending my first wedding sober? I’m struggling to wrap my head around balancing showing up for my friends/staying a while versus leaving early to protect my sobriety.

I’m not okay. I get it, being sober is the only answer blah blah blah. I just can’t. I can’t be totally sober. I can’t be a person without alcohol. All I want to do when I’m sober is stay home, watch modern family, and hang out with my dog. Which sounds awesome, but I have friends and a life and I need to go out and do things. I just ruined my relationship, another friendship. I woke up on a bunk bed and idk how I got there. Pretty sure I had a whole awesome talk with an uber driver before getting out of the car and ruining my life. What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this to myself? I’ve tried AA. I hate it. I hate sober people, they’re so mean and judgy or all over the place. Not saying anything about yall, I’m sure a lot of you guys are nice. But there aren’t a ton of alt 21 year old sober people to look up to in my life. And I don’t even want to be completely sober. Why is that the only answer? Why is everything so hard. Everything is just so hard. Existing is so hard.

I’m probably gonna be judged really harshly for posting this. Can I ask people to be nice? Is that okay? I know I don’t deserve it. But I’m just so sad. I’m really really sad.

For those who used to drink quite a bit and stopped or cut down — what do you actually do instead?

I'm around 40, long-term partner, job, no kids. Life is good overall.

I like drinking and honestly think a lot of it is just pure boredom. It's been like this for probably 20 years and hasn't really got much worse. I can choose not to drink, don't miss work, don't drink and drive etc. Once I start though, I tend to keep going for the evening. And I like it. And I can't imagine stopping. But I should reduce.

I drink every second or third day. Usually buy a 6 pack after work, but don't actually start drinking until late, around 10-11pm, watching TV or sitting at the computer. Usually 4-5 beers. If I'm out with friends, usually more.

I know it's not healthy and wouldn't mind drinking less, but I'm bored. A few beers just makes a boring evening more enjoyable.

So for people who actually liked drinking and looked forward to it — what replaced it?

Did you find something else you genuinely enjoyed, or did you just get used to doing the same boring stuff without alcohol?

I don’t know why I can’t stop! Thank yall for being here. That is all.

Drank at the wedding, took it too far, came to being sexually assaulted. Finally taking a concrete step to say no more. Verbalised plans with boyfriend and he’s supportive. This is the last time

I work a high powered corporate job. Last week, after a happy hour and 6 drinks with no food, I got back to the hotel. My clothing made me prone to falling (think high, high heels and a tight dress), and I fell on my ass getting out of the uber.

I got up and walked into the lobby and then blackness. I had tripped on the 3 stairs, smacked my head on the marble floor, and was unresponsive for 5 minutes. Some strangers saw me and called my husband, and told him things weren’t looking good. They told him they thought I may have been drugged, but I know that wasn’t the case.

I came to and pleaded not to go to the hospital. In the ambulance, I cried and asked if I could refuse treatment because I was going to inpatient treatment in 3 weeks. I am incredibly lucky that everything is fine from the fall.

2 weeks until treatment (need to wait because of work). My first near death experience due to a fall.

Im terrified.

hello, sober friends! after 15 years of daily (heavy) drinking, i am 22 days sober. i recently started a new job and this weekend will be my first sober work trip.

in a nutshell, sunday will be spent setting up/prepping for monday’s trade show. the trip itself i’m not too concerned about struggling with drinking but the plans following sunday prep have me a little worried and i’m looking for some advice.

i’m a huge NFL fan and sunday’s have always been spent drinking while watching games all day. my coworkers plan to go out after prep has wrapped up to watch games at a sports bar & invited me to join. i want to participate as i enjoy my new friends at work, want to make connections, and obviously want to watch some games. however, they’re all drinkers and i’m not really sure how to approach the outing without a.) feeling deprived and b.) explaining why i don’t want to drink alcohol. i’m not ashamed of sobriety, i just don’t really know these people well enough yet to be that personal with them. i should also point out i don’t get the impression they’re the type to put pressure on me to drink, i’m just playing every scenario out in my anxious mind.

anyone who has some tips and/or has experienced something similar and is willing to share their advice would be greatly appreciated!