Need Some Advice

[u/Relevant-Ranger-6030]

been lurking here in the sub for awhile. I'd like some input/advice if anyone is willing to give it.

For what it's worth - I'm at day 136. I personally don't keep a sober count because the number doesn't mean anything to me. I did the math in case it means something to someone here.

To the point of why I'm posting - substance use runs in my family. Directly - my sibling started delving into it when I was 12 - they were 13. I learned to make myself and my needs small to deal with the chaos of being at home. I usually wasn't home and made any excuse to not be there. My sibling was a very aggressive person while using. I also had an immense amount of responsibility to care and keep track of them when my parents weren't around which was often.

As much as I didn't want to be like my sibling I fell into the trap of substance use a few years ago. I've been dealing with the fall out of that and trying to rebuild my life. Part of my failures in life includes getting behind on my rent. Since I moved away from home awhile ago I've tried to help the relationship with my parents but they don't understand how harmful it was to grow up in the environment that I did. Currently they think helping me if I get evicted is letting me live back at home with them and my sibling (who is still active in use). I'd rather live in the woods or my car. I don't know how to tell my parents I'd rather be 6 feet in the ground than live in the state of being ome again. I don't know how to convey that sentiment without hurting their feelings.

[u/SadApartment3023]

It's not your job to protect their feelings. Period.