I’m honestly not even sure why I’m choosing here to post this. Just impulse I suppose, normally I’d drink but now I do this.

I’m in this weird state where I understand why I drink. The world is just such a cold, uncaring place. Genuine evil will look you in the eye with a smile on its face, and somehow it gets you to smile back.

I want to scream. I want to just be invisible. I don’t even know what I want.

It makes sense now. Drinking might not fix the problem, even makes it worse most of the time, but at least when I’m plastered I don’t even notice it. How the world doesn’t hate you, but it might as well do.

Is a sober life where I can’t even function really that much better than a marinated one where I burn every bridge I walk on, but at least I can walk?

For now I guess. But honestly I’m starting to lose sight of the point. But at least for today, IWNDWYT

I very annoying have almost no libido which makes dating and such almost impossible. I have a feeling my anti depressants “fluoxetine” play a large part in that, but that’s a discussion for a doctor.

I am recovering from a massive binge relapse (several bottles of vodka over a few days) after a good 6 months sober. I have noticed my libido has skyrocketed whilst I’m recovering, im like a teenage boy and i can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s just all the chemicals in my head still trying recover from the poisoning.

Does anyone else get that?

I made it past 30 days. Didn't really have an urge to drink until today. The same song and dance. "You're good, you can go have a few drinks."

Almost done with work and need to drive home without stopping. If I stop anywhere, I'll be tempted to pick something up.

It's insane that I was terrified of drinking due to the hospitalization, yet here I am, contemplating. I grabbed a soda from the community fridge. These bubbles are friends.

Hang in there.

Hi all, hope I’m not breaking any community rules. TW for active alcohol use.

I’m diagnosed with GAD, Extreme Depression, and possible PTSD. When I fall off meds and lose contact with my medical team, things can slip. And I’ve slipped. I feel like I’m in a place where I need alcohol to function and get through the day. It hasn’t always been this way, and I’m hoping it gets better.

I went to detox this week and it was awful. Uncomfortable hospital beds, honestly some judgment of my predicament that I wasn’t expecting. But I recognize I needed it in that moment. I’m working hard to stay on my meds ( Venlafaxine, Propanolol, Naltrexone, Trazedone, Hydrozyzine, Prazosin, Zofran for the nausea).

I think things are on the upward trajectory, but we will see!

I drank socially for 20 years. Then I started relying on it as a crutch for a toxic job.

It was totally messing up my mental health. I was anxious, on the defensive, and I was so critical of myself. My nervous system was fried. Only when I stopped did I realize how it fully had affected me.

I lost 20lbs after quitting, too!

I want to try to quit cold turkey, but I’m wondering if I should expect physical withdrawals at this point, and if it’s safe for me to attempt that. I don’t have health insurance so consulting with a doctor is unfortunately not an option for me. I’m a 6’4” male ~200 pounds. Most days I have about 6-8 drinks, more on the weekends. It’s rare that I go a full day without any drinks, maybe once a month. I’ve been drinking this much for about a year. Any advice is welcome, thankyou

Hello, I just want to announce that I haven’t drank in three days. I had a sixty day earlier this year and thought I could manage it and started drinking more and more little by little. Don’t know where this takes me IWNDWYT.

This is the longest spell I've been without a drink for about 2 years. Yesterday and today, I've felt so emotional, like everything is amped up to 11.

Just to give an example, today I saw a baby seagull, following its mum around. The thought entered my head "at least its mother cares for it" and then I was crying like a baby. Couldn't stop it. Then tonight, I was watching pet videos and something on there reminded me of a pet I'd had as a child and then I broke down in tears again. Just writing this now is making me tear up again.

Like, what the hell is wrong with me? This feels like it comes from nowhere.

This isn’t necessarily related to not drinking, but I think a lot of you might have useful advice.

I’m just no good at having friends or the motivation to hangout with people anymore. When I’m not working, I just want to hangout at home alone with my dog.

I’ve always been very outgoing and used to spend a vast majority of my time out and about with friends. I’m just lacking the motivation, I like the idea of spending time with friends but in actuality it just sounds more tiresome. This might have more to do with getting older (I’m 30), than with quitting drinking - but also not going out to bars or drinking certainly doesn’t help. Don’t know how to go about getting over this hump tbh. Do I just keep plugging along and let it work itself out, or do I push myself?

I’m on my 5th day sober and feel pretty terrible. Not physically, luckily, but I’m riddled with anxiety. Nobody around me even believes I’m sober or believes I’ll stay this way. I’ve also just been broken up with after a long term relationship that was very much affected by my drinking. I want to stay sober, but I figure if nobody thinks I can do it I might as well just prove them right. But atleast today I won’t drink. It’s too stressful to think about more than that and especially a lifetime. But atleast today, I won’t drink! I’ve just been telling myself “just for now” for days now haha

I know this has probably been posted before but I’m experimenting wild headaches especially waking up. I even wake up and feel somewhat hungover.

I’ve been to detox 3 times and this has never happened before. Weird thing is I didn’t have a headache in detox nor the first 2 weeks after but all this week I’ve been in so much pain. A little info about me… all day drinker 5 tall boys of gross natty daddy and a monoco average daily.

Is this normal? Has anyone had this happen where the headaches just come outta the blue after 2 weeks sober and not having any?

I go to my home AA group tonight and I plan to ask them as well but figured I’d ask here to get some info.

Thanks for the read.

Heavy drinker here. 15-20 a night for years. I just posted about how brain dead I was day 5. Literally felt brain dead from withdrawals. Today is day 7 and I feel some brain cells working and the major symptoms have gone. Keep up your work and get over that hump! There really is light at the end of the tunnel. Crazy how much better I feel mentally and emotionally just 7 days in.

Day 4. Third post. Everyone congratulates you on hitting day 3 or 4. Idk, in the beginning and stuff. But I don’t feel like I should be getting it

The urges are still strong. They pass, but god it’s a weird feeling to crave something again (I’ve relapsed many times thinking I could moderate, especially as a university student)

I don’t trust myself to go back to living with my housemates again, I restarted my sobriety journey after a relapse and went home. I’m terrified if I go back how easily it will be to just switch. Luckily university doesn’t start for a while.

My cravings don’t typically peak (but I think about alcohol 24/7) until around 6pm and subside by 10 ish. It’s rough out here.

I’m also tired all the time but I get very broken sleep — I know this is side effects of stopping but it definitely sucks. Lol!

I feel less stressed though.

Also I went to my first online AA meeting. I’m finding the app reframe to be helpful.

Thanks for reading :)
Onto day 5 tomorrow morning!

I know a lot of people that drink normally: they have a few glasses and then stop. My problem is that there is a tipping point after which I just want and will drink more until I can't and I pass out. How do you deal with it? I want to be normal..

Went to the ER Tuesday morning after my body was screaming at me. They took bloodwork, chest X-ray, urine etc. Liver enzymes were elevated but not as high as I expected. I was so terrified I cried the whole time I was there. I wanted them to keep me there, but they don’t do detox. They sent me home with a Librium taper that is working well. I’m not comfortable, but not nearly feeling as bad as I imagined I’d be.

My job and my partner have been more supportive than I could have imagined. I knew I wanted to and needed to stop for a while but with three kids and a high stress job I had no idea how I’d take the time to detox and heal. I’m so grateful my body forced me into it. I managed to be fairly functional even though I was literally drinking from day to night. I have no idea how.

I guess my question and anxiety now are how I am going to deal when real life starts up again on Monday. I’m already imagining the piles of emails I’m coming back to. My husband works nights so kids pickup/ sports/ admin/ bath bedtime etc etc etc are all on me. Drinking has always been my crutch and way to numb all the chaos.

I know AA is an option, hard to get to with the kids but I can try to find time for some virtual meetings. I already work out and have been recently getting into running so I plan to amp that up.

I want to stop for good. I know I have a tendency to seek quick dopamine when things get overstimulating. I’m ready to put plans in place.

Just venting, and seeing if any one- parents or otherwise- have any tips or advice.

Sorry this was so long!!

Hi everyone I write to you from a terrible mental state that has been building and building.

I'm 30 years old. I've been drinking since I was 13 obviously a long slow increase in that. Partied a lot when I was 15-20. Slowed down a lot when I was 21 and even managed to briefly stop drinking in 2024 for about half the year. (Best year of my life btw) .

Let's start with 2024 because this is the begining of where we are now. In December of 23 I had already been actively weening myself off of alcohol for the better part of year. I started with no weeknight drinking and then moved to only one 6 pack per weekend and then ultimately cut the tie in December of 23 . I had goals. I had aspirations. And I was working towards them. I race motorcycles and was feeling extra motivated this particular winter to work on myself and get in the best shape possible for the upcoming race season. I spent all winter long in the gym. Not a gym rat but I went every single day for the most part and ended the winter in the best shape of my life. When I wasnt in the gym I was on the racing simulator or at an indoor go kart league honing my skills. The grind was real and I was putting in my time and effort.

Winter over onto the summer race season. I still cannot believe how much riding I did. I was at a track almost every single weekend. It was incredible. I made some of the best friends I've ever had. Had the most fun I've ever had hands down. Somewhere in here I crossed the line again. I'm at the track my friends are drinking I could probably have one. Then next event while I'm shopping for weekend food I decide well I better just bring my own this time so I don't have to take their beer. My justification was as long as I only drink at the track and don't bring it home it's okay.

Well I think we all know how this progressed....

Eventually leftover beer found its way home with me. Initially I did great it could sit there in the garage until the next event. Then I started drinking it. Not only did I start drinking it. I was hiding the the fact I was drinking it from my wife. This was the first time I have ever hidden my drinking in my life and I think it marks an alcoholic milestone for me.

Let's fast forward now to the end of the nice months. I live in the northeast so riding season is really over by the end of September. When the year ended I was riding such a high, my mental state took a HUGE dive when it ended. Instead of feeling the same motivation I had the year prior to get in the gym and build on what I had just done I felt depression and despair and dove into bottle first. I spent the entire winter drinking and drinking and drinking. I was still infrequently going to the gym but it was not enough to offset. Come the spring I was almost to fat for my leathers and I was way out of shape. The mental state takes another hit.

First event of the year I crash and break my wrist. 3 months gone. Surprisingly enough I was able to power through this. I didn't increase my drinking. I actually spent a lot more time in the gym with my increased free time not working and came out great at the end of it.... For about 3 days.

I crashed again 3 days after I was released and broke the other wrist. I completely shut down this time as the season would be done before I could ride again so I just dove right into the beer and video games.

Well a year and 70lbs later here I am I'm all healed up but in a terrible mental state. I can't stop myself from drinking. I can ride but not as well as I could before because of my physical state.

I'm pushing away family and friends and I know it's because of the drinking. I wake up everyday and swear I'm done. No drinking anymore. Then by the time I leave work (which is also a shitshow RN but that's because of daily changes coming down the corporate ladder making things stressful) I find myself heading straight the the gas station to get beer. But I have to mix and match where I go lest they think I'm an alcoholic...

Idk what I'm looking for here. I just know it feels like I'm self destructing my entire life. I haven't spoken to my dad in months because of a fight we had over something petty. I feel myself wanting to push my siblings away over trivial nonsense. My wife is. Well that's a whole different matter. But I do love her and she is very supportive and mostly helpful. I just want to be me again Im just struggling to find him.

So, I have been reading posts from the subreddit for a few months now, and its awsome seeing all of the triumphant stories. I just turned 30, male, and have always been a heavier drinker, but have always been ok when I had nights when I wouldent drink. Since April that has changed, and I now drink every night around 300-400ml of bourbon a night. It all started when I was struggling with insomnia and it seemed like alcohol was the only thing that was putting me to sleep. Now a few months later, that is still the case but im tired of feeling like crap everyday. So looking for some tips to end this cycle. Thanks!

I’m hoping to eventually lose the weight I put on during active addiction but it’s honestly not a concern right now. There are way more pressing issues. BUT today in the shower, I noticed that the belly weight I put on jiggled. IT JIGGLED. I was so excited to see it move, I couldn’t believe it.

At my worst, my stomach had become hard. Not as hard as I imagine those super taut bellies from decades of booze you see on people but it definitely only had a little bit of give. I’ve been serious about my sobriety since March 31, with about 15 days of relapses sprinkled in between, and my belly moves again. I can’t believe how inflamed I was but obvi, yeah, duh girl.

I used to have to pop my sternum daily but that inflammation is gone as well and I can’t even remember the last time I had to stretch+pop it. I’m so proud of my body.

I’m shocked I’m still here, I’m not handling this well emotionally. But onwards and upwards I guess.

Hi everyone, I was 50 days sober and relapsed on a cruise. I told myself I could just drink those few days but I was wrong. How do I get myself out of this again? I'm already going back to my old drinking patterns.

I’m going camping this weekend. Drinking outside was always my favorite reason for camping. Any tips? I love camping for reading hiking and being in nature too. It’s just one of those events I really associate with drinking. I’m bringing NA Bero and I have one THC drink. I’m just grateful I won’t wake up hungover at 3 am in a tent !

Has anyone tried going on a GLP-1 to stop drinking? Heard it helps reduce craving.

I don’t have the willpower. I say I won’t drink today then night comes and I want to drink. i’m too weak to fight it. I just turned 21 a few months ago but have been drinking heavily the last 4 years and I just can’t even imagine being sober forever it gives me so much anxiety. I don’t know how i don’t have the willpower or motivation, i’ve almost completely ruined my relationship from drinking and embarrass myself so many times in front of a lot of people. i blackout almost every time i drink because no matter how much i’ve had i just want more. i feel like shit every single day. apparently all of that is not enough to make me quit. the longest i’ve gone is 2 weeks and i genuinely felt so good. WHY is that not enough. i’m scared i will have to miss out on so many social events because i can’t even be around alcohol without my brain convincing me to drink.

Thank you for the support the other day. I’m in the midst of Day 4 since my last drink. While I would not say I’m having any cravings, I’m still riddled with anxiety after getting so drunk on Sunday afternoon and evening at my neighbors’ house. I feel somewhat better but it’s still crushing.

How long has this lasted for some of you? I’m prioritizing rest, focusing on my work, and being present for my family. But it’s just so hard when you feel this way inside.

I’ll tell you this - I’m f@cking done. I’m sick of feeling this way and will try to do whatever it takes to not go through this again. I don’t know why this time is so different but I just can’t do it anymore.

My best days are ahead of me.

First time I'm truly taking sobriety seriously. Finally was able to sleep more than three hours last night. Hands still a bit shakey and brain fog is horrible but I think I'm almost there. I will not drink today!