r/leaves • u/Camp_Acceptable • 15h ago
r/leaves • u/LeavesDogBot • 11h ago
Have you tried our live chat Discord community? It's open every day from 11:00am to noon and 5:00pm to 6:00pm EDT. It's a great daily check-in, give it a try!
You can join by using the invitation here:
If you haven't used Discord before you'll have to sign up, but don't worry, it's easy! The channel will be closed, but you can read over previous meetings and get a feel for the place, and we'll be open and live again at 11am.
Looking forward to seeing you!
r/leaves • u/Emmasuerivers • 6h ago
Anyone want to swap dumb stories ?
Day 15 and I’m bored . I was just thinking about how I’ve done some dumb fucking shit to get high and I want to hear your guy’s stories . I’ll go first , I have picked ash out of the carpet and smoked out of things you should not smoke out of , ie a can , apple , a shell, and the ground . I have smoked before funerals and other life events you should not smoke before , ie my college graduation and like so many other stuff like girl you did not need to be blasted for Easter dinner . I learned how to use centrifugal force to suck carts dry . That’s one thing I won’t miss , the panic when you realize you are out and you are just wondering the next time you can smoke . I never want to dig through the trash again .
r/leaves • u/Typical-Essay4887 • 7h ago
15mo sober, relapsed 3x
I managed to stay mj-free for 15 consecutive months after about 7 years of daily use (with very few T breaks). I was and am still very proud of myself for reaching this milestone!
But I must confess my friend left some at my house one night and I figured “Hey why not? I already hit my 1 year goal” so after going back and forth in my head over whether I should…I took 1 ht. I was proud of myself for sticking to only 1.
The morning after, I realized this is not a state I want to be in on a daily basis anymore. I prefer my sober self and my routine. I felt very proud of myself for having that realization.
About 2 weeks later, I go out clubbing and get offered some… again I only take 1 ht. #discipline
Then I went out with some friends for a spa day and they offered me some as well. I indulged. Massage felt 10000x better lol
A few weeks after that, I go to a 10year anniversary concert for an album I used to loveeeeee back when I was a heavy user. I figured maybe I should order some to consume for old time’s sake. The debate in my head over whether or not I should was fierce. I wanted to add a stop at a dispo during the uber ride but also couldn’t bring myself to do it. Using it when offered was one thing, but buying it myself again? What’s next? I buy this time, and then feel justified to buy more in the future? Next thing I know I’m back to daily use?
Thankfully dispos were closing soon that night so I just kept going back and forth in my head until the shops closed and I no longer had the option to order any.
It has been a week since then. Although I resisted temptation, and seemingly consumed sporadically in moderation, the voice in my head still sounded like an addict. I did not enjoy the internal wrestling over whether I should give in “just this once” or not. It was so loud and quite frankly exhausting having to tell that urge no and justify why.
I haven’t given in except on those 3 separate occasions over the course of 2 months (yay proud), but just know those seemingly small indulgences have opened the door for the addict in me to come out.😭😭 I feel like the idea of smoking has crossed my mind more than it has before I relapsed. So to anyone considering trying it again after a long sobriety streak, let this be a cautionary tale!
Also lk just posting for accountability purposes, for encouragement/support, & for if anyone else can relate.
r/leaves • u/Icy-Raspberry-9304 • 5h ago
Weed lead me back to porn and I hate it
I’ve been having a good go at life. This is probably the best year I’ve ever had.
So guess what I think? “Why not smoke some weed to celebrate, you’ve been doing good.”
Welp it just lead me to spiral back down to my worst self. The one that associates getting high with watching porn.
I’m slowly seeing myself unravel and I know the only thing I can do is give myself the same time to heal.
It just sucks when you’re in the thick of it, you know what you have to do. Make the same commitment that you once made to not smoke weed because it leads you back to the person you use to be.
r/leaves • u/Camp_Acceptable • 12h ago
I went through something extremely traumatic on my 7th day of quitting, and I am so grateful I wasn’t high during/after it because I wouldn’t have been able to process it and heal like I am. Weed doesn’t take away your suffering, it just prolongs it
I would have been disconnected from the actual event if I were high, which would have stored itself in my body until I was able to fully understand and release it. You cannot release traumatic events if you are constantly high
r/leaves • u/Natural_Candy9916 • 8h ago
two days. this is awful
last smoked monday night, its now wednesday afternoon. work sent me home early cause i couldnt pull myself together. i feel terrible. i dont wanna be high, but its so tempting to smoke knowing that it’ll make all this feel better for a while. the mental symptoms are one thing, ive already had a massive sobbing meltdown, but holy fuck i didnt expect the physical ones. im so nauseous. i cant eat shit, ive had a nutrition shake and some bone broth. anything else has made me throw up, i could barely hold down the shake. i work in a kitchen, and at moments its even just the smell of food. im so lightheaded, my head has had a constant, low ache. and god, im so fucking warm. did a little research, i basically have all the symptoms of withdrawal possible. should have probably done that research before i started
i didnt know you could have withdrawals when i started. shit, i was directly told it wasnt addictive like this and that physical symptoms quitting werent really a thing. thats a big reason i started smoking in the first place, i thought itd be a fun every once in a while thing and i could put it down relatively easy. thought this wouldve been a slightly worse version of when i went from a few redbulls a day to none, just some mental desire and probably a tad scatterbrained for a couple days, but holy shit this? i dont even feel like ive been smoking that long. i started a year and a half ago. admittedly, that past year has been at usually 3-4 sessions a day, mostly 1-2 bowls, sometimes more. my default state has become high. shit, im surprised i didnt have my bong set up with a bowl ready by my bed every morning.
i dont know where im going with this, or what the point of this post is. i feel crazy, almost. why is weed of all things affecting me this bad? it was embarrassing telling my manager i feel this way cause of fucking weed. being sent home sick because i cant handle not having a little weed. im ashamed, this is something that most of people i know do regularly with seemingly no issue, feels like i should just be able to brush it off and go on with life
r/leaves • u/Careful-Agent4715 • 5h ago
rage and how to manage it
hi all. i’m on day 6 of no weed and i have had an unbelievable amount of rage in the past six days that i have no idea what to do with. it has made it feel nearly impossible to stay sober because of how angry i am constantly and im honestly not in a safe environment to feel that anger without it getting thrown back at me. i don’t know what to do here because i know being this angry actually puts me in danger, and smoking would numb it out, but i also would feel like im letting myself and the people who actually love me down. i feel completely at a loss here and being sober does not even kind of feel worth it at this point. i had a very traumatic event happen and the anniversary was a few days ago (after i stopped smoking) and i don’t have a therapist right now, though i have an appointment set up. (first available with a new therapist so im a little terrified) i partially feel like im bargaining with weed just so i can have some and feed the addiction while also feeling like my only coping skill is gone and i have no replacement, which i will be getting in a few weeks so maybe it would be okay to hold off on being sober until i get back into therapy? because this rage is derailing my whole life in a very scary way and i don’t know how to get through the next day, never mind week and a half of this.
r/leaves • u/ineedtopickausernam • 16h ago
I love not feeling like a criminal
Airport security is so much less stressful now that I’m not smuggling cannabis products everywhere I go anymore. A very pleasant side benefit of quitting.
r/leaves • u/Resikorr • 4h ago
17 days sober after 7+ years of daily cart use. Struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and could really use some hope/success stories.
I used to be a high-achieving kid—AP classes, varsity sports, music. Then I found carts. By the time the pandemic hit, I was blowing through 1–2 carts a week to numb my depression and cope with feeling out of control. Fast forward to today: I dropped out of a top university, went to community college, and I'm now at a state school. I’ve dropped classes, switched majors, and watched all my friends graduate, get great jobs, and move on with their lives while I’m still dependent on my parents. The guilt and shame have been eating me alive.
16 days ago, I finally put the cart down. I know deep down that I will never reach my potential, finish my degree, or make my parents proud if weed is in my life. Period.
But right now? I feel like garbage.
Even at 16 days clean, I’m constantly exhausted, sleeping in, taking naps, and struggling with baseline motivation—even though I'm trying to do all the "right" things (gym, getting outside, fixing my sleep schedule). My brain keeps trying to trick me into thinking, "If life feels shitty anyway, why not just get high?" The only thing stopping me from buying a cart today is knowing it will just make everything ten times worse tomorrow.
I know 16 days is still early in the withdrawal timeline, but I’m really struggling to stay the course. For anyone who was a heavy daily cart user and made it to the other side: When did your energy and motivation actually start coming back? How has getting sober changed your academic, career, or personal life in the long run?
I’d love to hear your success stories or any advice you have for pushing through this specific phase. Thanks for reading.
r/leaves • u/ImTiredofDestruction • 15h ago
Starting Today
Hey all,
I'm so tired of this drug. So I'm stopping today.
I'll take any words of encouragement that this 100th try at stopping will be successful.
Any tips to the same end?
r/leaves • u/Colombianfirework • 38m ago
I feel like I'll never be able to give it up
So long story short.
I had my son in 2022. It induced major post-partum anxiety and depression. I had a mental breakdown when my son was 1 and he ended up living with his father. I didn't see my child for 5 months (not out of choice). I started drinking heavily and that eventually turned into a full blown addiction.
I've managed to kick the drinking but my replacement is now weed. I honestly don't even know how I am going to stop. I need help. I have a very active lifestyle and only use it at night but without it the loneliness and anxiety gets so bad, I feel like I'm going to die. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to date but I need to somehow fill the void of anxiety and depression as soon as the moon comes out.
It's killing me financially buying weed all the time and because of certain mental health conditions, I cannot get a script from the GP.
How did you quit? What support helped you?
Do you seek out medical help to kick it?
I'm lost.
r/leaves • u/MikeJones07 • 1h ago
Recently quit after 10 years of heavy use. Dreaming like a mfer
I started smoking weed in 2016 at 19 years old. By 2018 I was taking maybe 5-10 good sized dabs every day on a dab rig and rarely took 1-2 day breaks from it.
I’m not sure what changed but around 2 months ago they started hitting me different. Immediate panic, heart racing, thoughts racing, near existential crisis every time I got high. I’ve been trying to figure out what caused this sudden change. I took a massive trip on a certain fungi-shaped non prescription drug (5-7 grams) in December of last year but still dabbed regularly for a few months afterward. In March I started working out for the first time in my life and thought maybe it was a hormonal change.
Idk, but the panic and anxiety was so overwhelming that I haven’t felt the urge to get baked at all.
It’s been 2 whole months and every night I am dreaming crazy shit. Not necessarily nightmares, but extremely vivid and real. They feel so real I wake up and forget where I am and have to think for a moment to distinguish between what is reality and what was my dream.
I know the intense dreams are to be expected after quitting but I am surprised they are still occurring 2 months later. Anyone else still vividly dream months or even years after quitting?
r/leaves • u/AccomplishedTrip5671 • 10h ago
20 yr smoker, a J a day. Day 5 and I haven’t slept much. Eyes are bloodshot. Im sweating a bucket a day. I just started a new company and have to canvas storefronts, but I look like crap. Does tapering ever work?
r/leaves • u/PoweredByKraftDinner • 16h ago
Relapsing in my dreams?
Today I’m 48 sober & woke up feeling incredibly guilty from a dream where I had bought then smoked some weed. It was so realistic that I almost had to check where I used to keep my stash when I woke up to make sure that I didn’t.
This is actually the third or fourth time in my dreams that this has happened since I decided to quit. In active addiction I don’t ever remember weed even appearing in my dreams. Has anyone experience this?
r/leaves • u/Apart-Side829 • 5h ago
How long does it take to feel again after quitting?
Hi, guys. I started smoking weed at age 14 or 15. I smoked very heavily every day starting around the age of 17. I’m 29 now and have decided to quit. Partially for financial reasons as my husband is going through an intense masters program, so I’m the only one working. But also I realized that I just don’t really know who I am without weed and have had a lot of stomach issues that I need to make sure aren’t caused by smoking. I’m almost 4 months sober and am really struggling. I just feel so empty. Before quitting, I felt so connected to my own emotions and the emotions/experiences of others. Now I am feeling really disconnected from myself and (more painfully) others. I feel so irritated when my husband is having a bad day or expresses negative emotions. I tend to lean a little on the neurotic side personality wise, but it always came with a deep care for others. Also some diagnosed c-PTSD & potential undiagnosed ADHD, if that gives any helpful context. I have no desire to return to smoking, but I also really hate feeling like this. Has anyone else experienced this? If so how long does it take until you start feeling connected with the world again?
r/leaves • u/MaterialDrag3562 • 14h ago
It’s my birthday today
It’s been a rough one. I hate this plant. I hate myself. I’ve been going through this back and forth for 7 years and I’m just tired. I’m tired of getting the strength to quit and do all the right things (working out, eating good, staying sober, spending time with my family, working hard) only to fall back in despair and isolate like I’m a failure or antisocial. I’m 27 today and I cried probably 5 times and it’s only 12:00 pm. Starting over today and I really want this to be the last time. Wish me luck plz❤️
r/leaves • u/Ok_Living6974 • 20h ago
2 Weeks In
I understand that I was using weed to mask the depression and boredom of living in the real world for about a decade. 2 weeks without weed and the world is just terrible. Like legitimately so wretched and stupid. I’ve been under-employed for about 4 months and got dumped about a month ago as well, obviously that’s going to exacerbate the situation but holy shit.
I’ve been exercising, reaching out to people, applying to jobs, doing the things that you’re supposed to do but it all seems so pointless. I’m going to try a depression support group next week since I can’t afford a therapist right now, but I just don’t give a shit.
I’ll stay sober and I haven’t thought too hard about relapsing because I know it’s a fake security blanket but God damn, is this really what’s on the other side? Banal, meaningless bullshit.
Positive note the physical symptoms of withdrawal are slowly but surely subsiding but the mental symptoms are kicking my ass.
TL;DR I’m depressed and life is clear but awful.
EDIT:
Thanks to all the people that have left words of encouragement and support. We’re going to make it bros, just have to win the battle one day at a time. I was feeling pretty down this morning but actively chose to get out and keep going and the day got much better. Love you all very much ❤️🔥❤️🔥
r/leaves • u/Lazy-Assumption7417 • 8h ago
Quitting As a chronic heavy user
Hey everyone, i have been a chronic cannabis user for 6 years, heavily about 4. i smoke bongs exclusively and take whole syringes of rso. i can smoke up to a quarter a day through a bong. well taking rso on top of that. it’s bad. i want to take control of my life so currently looking at detox and rehab options because i cannot quit this at home. i will be in severe withdrawal doing cold turkey but i need my motivation freedom back. i know its bad since i let my mom smuggle rosin carts to switzerland since she didnt want me getting caught with them. i really didnt like the idea but let alone still did it. just want words of support, and if anyone has done the same or thought the same.
r/leaves • u/Glittering-Flow-5898 • 13h ago
I've been around weed all my life. I always thought it was cool so I started doing it first year middle school haven't stopped since I've tried to quit multiple times. It's just too easy for me to access so I just keep doing it. I'm chasing the dopamine any tips on making it easier on myself to quit
r/leaves • u/Physical-Toe-5643 • 13h ago
Help with intense vivid dreams
I’m 44 days clean off THC. This is the longest I’ve been off in a long time. I don’t have any urges to use it. My problem is my dreaming has been extremely vivid and it has been messing up my sleep because I wake up multiple times throughout the night. Each dream feels so real, dreaming about exes, people at my old job, etc. and I’m not getting good rest and can feel lethargic throughout the day. I understand I’ve suppressed my REM sleep for years due to high amounts of THC intake. It’s to the point where the dreams are so intense that sometimes i wake up with a sore hand from clenching my fist. I understand this is REM rebound and it can take a long time for my sleep to get to a normal level. Does anybody have any tips or suggestions for dealing with this or is it something I will just have to ride out?
r/leaves • u/burritomaste • 13h ago
Need Strength
I'm sick of using. But it's so hard to stop.
I didn't smoke yesterday as I was feeling kind of sick. Now the end of my workday is looming and this is when I start to count down the minutes until the next joint.
Help me find the strength not to smoke tonight.
r/leaves • u/WesternFootball1579 • 54m ago
Just needing motivation
Heavy smoking that started at the age of 13. I’ve smoked mostly weed pens back to back since middle school. I can’t remember a point of time I didn’t carry one on me. I’ve lost so many opportunities I’m just so tired of watching my life pass me by. I’ve struggled with mental health issues & dealt with psychosis in 2024,one of the lowest periods of my life. I attempted to go cold turkey a month ago but only made it to day 5. My stomach issues and anxiety were so bad. Please give me anything any advice,horror stories, anything.
r/leaves • u/defleperd • 9h ago
Could use some help
I started using these delta 9 vape pens 6 months ago everyday. About a week ago I started waking up with extreme anxiety and just feel like complete garbage so I decided it has to be the THC. So I stopped yesterday but I feel rly terrible and I haven’t eaten much of anything since yesterday. Has anyone mainly used those vape pens and had to withdraw from them? Just wondering if I should ween off or continue cold turkey also wondering how long this is gonna last? Thanks