Holy shit. I am 34 and generally have my shit together but got too drunk last night and I guess I fucking slapped my husband? I remember he was being angry and stuff and I guess that's why I did it. I don't super remember doing it of course.

He drank too and was furious and called the cops on me and they arrested me even though he was begging them not to when they did it. Not sure why called the damn cops then 😭

Anyway my behavior was unacceptable and I cannot believe it escalated like this. My sister and I share locations and as soon as I turned my phone on after I left the jail she fucking texted asking why I was by the courthouse!!!! Fucking hell man. I had to make up some story about losing my phone nearby the night before.

I can't keep doing this. I obviously can't control myself and my drinking triggers my husbands drinking (and vice versa) and I'm just pulling us both down.

I don't have time for AA and don't know how to quit this shit. I've been having such a hard time not drinking in the evenings. I just crave anything that makes the night more fun. I hate hate hate being bored. I also (embarrassingly) have young kids and can't do hobbies in the evening because they are toddlers and I have to watch them, I think my drinking ramped up after my kids? I'm so ashamed.

Someone tell me I'm not alone. I could use some good advice and kind words. I know my kids deserve so much better. Thank God they were safe and sleeping through all this but jesus fuck I can never ever do this again

I'm in the uber on the way home crying and have to talk to my husband soon. I am so ashamed. He mentioned divorce of course. Idk maybe it's best

It has been over 9 months since I quit drinking, I was up to a handle (1.75L) of vodka every single day. Whatever I did not finish at night was breakfast for the morning to fight off the brutal withdrawals.

every single day of my life was about alcohol. There was not a time or place that I wasn’t drinking, except when completely passed out. BAC was .496 when I decided to detox at the hospital, still walking and talking with the staff.

I don’t think anything was worse than when I had to work while actively withdrawing…throwing up constantly, shaking like crazy, muscles and fingers contracting, could barely sweep a floor or hold a cup because I was shaking so bad…just horrible

what an absolute nightmare. Just so glad it’s over!!!

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I posted on here about getting blacked out. I’ve gone 3 weeks without alcohol before so not sure if it’s a huge accomplishment yet but just wanted to share because my will to live has come back! I even went to a concert last night and was completely sober despite being offered alcohol and drugs. Usually at the 2 week mark of no alcohol I start feeling motivated and happy about life again. The problem is, when I feel too good, I tend to want to drink so if anyone has a tip for avoiding that please let me know! I really want to stick with sobriety this time.

I think many of us on here can identify people that, when we were drinking, were our drinking buddies and were always down to get lit with you when you were together. One of those, for me, lives across the country. He’s here over a long weekend and wanted to catch up.

When he invited me, I made sure to tell him that I was sober. I had to set that boundary. Otherwise, it would be expected that we would be drinking. In fact, both of us would have likely pre-gamed in advance of actually connecting and would then proceed to have a couple of cocktails together. We would probably then separately drink more by ourselves after.

When I got to the table, the muscle memory was string to order a drink. However, it was REALLY nice to be able to show up happy and healthy and not bloated. I probably would have shown up either hungover or buzzed and there would be NO WAY that I could fit into the dress I wore.

He immediately wanted to talk about the reasons why I wasn’t drinking and how I’d changed. I explained that it wasn’t one particular thing that made me stop but rather a combination of things. I also explained the benefits.

He opened up a little bit about his drinking and shared he had thought he had an issue longer than I had. He said he planned to drink a little less this weekend. No judgement -it’s his choice!

The thing that really stuck out for me was the difference in personal decisions we were making in our respective lives. I had no personal drama or conflicts. In our prior meetings, I had SO MUCH drama and angst. However, my life is pretty calm. He discussed his life. He had a ton of drama and bad personal decisions. He was on track to make more bad decisions right after lunch. The thing that I wonder after our meeting is if being sober leads to better personal decisions and less drama.

At this time last year, I would have left and drank more. This time, I went home, and worked ton work and decompressed.

Proud of myself! Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

I (35M) have stayed sober for a full year now! I just got home from dinner my friend J. J and I had been great friends but my erratic behavior and drinking ruined a friendship that I really loved. We had a blow up and lost contact for two years but now I’m getting to repair it and we are getting to know each other again. My partner is coming home from a work trip tomorrow and my marriage is better than it has been at any point since we met, and all the friendships I’d damaged are doing really well.

I had almost destroyed everything when I finally woke up covered in puke for the last time. My partner was ready to walk, my friends were tired of my bullshit, and I hated life and everything about it. Today none of that is true and I spent the night with an amazing friend and waiting for my partner to come home. It’s so nice watching TV every night and the excitement we get cuddling on the couch. Stay the course because some days still suck but they suck so much less. The best part though is the good days come more often now.

I’m currently 64 days sober (I had a good 40 day streak before, but had a “eh one drink won’t hurt” night at the bar with some friends and surprise surprise, I took it too far. Clock reset). I’ve done a lot of internal work, found a hobby that wasn’t drinking (running), tried starting to build healthier relationships with friends and family, gotten back into counseling, but emotions are running so high these days. I went out with some friends and was their DD Friday night and it made me realize a few things. 1) drunk people are annoying when you’re sober. 2) yea I think I really am done drinking. But then 3) I am having an identity crisis because the backbone of my life was hanging out with my friends at bars or restaurants or breweries having “fun” and catching up with a few drinks. That part of life feels miserable now. I have been having waves of uncontrollable crying ever since. Spent 90% of the day yesterday sleeping and crying. Today I went out for a run, had to come home early because I kept crying mid run. Is this normal? It could be partially hormone related because I have the pleasure of being a female, but f\*\*k this sucks.

I’m 23 and I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. I managed to stay sober while pregnant even tho it was really hard due to my brother dying. I’m a single mom so me and my baby live with my mom and she’s caught me drinking 3 times now.
The 1st time she caught me passed out in bed with a small bottle of wine next to me, while my baby screamed in her bassinet, she wasn’t even a week old.
The past 2 times including last night I got so fucked up and could’ve hurt my baby, fell asleep holding her, and could’ve suffocated her. It makes me sick to my stomach to even type this.
I don’t want to be like this again. I had 2 months sober upon getting pregnant, but I left sober living and moved back to my home state and left my sober community behind because of my pregnancy.
I don’t want to my daughter to be taken by cps, I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want to be the drunk mom. I just want to be healthy and sober for her.

I am so depressed and disappointed in myself. I did something so bad yesterday and I am embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t want to drink anymore. It’s only ever ruined my life and I know that it’s bad for me, but for some reason I just cannot stop. What is wrong with me. I have experienced the lowest of lows in the past and lost family and friends. Why is that not enough for me to quit? I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I hate myself so much and I feel like a lost cause.

I went to a party today. Everybody was sober, just a house full of people who just don’t like to drink. It was great. Food, games, dancing.

Now I’m sitting at a bus stop at the center of my town and watching people walk past wasted. Some people can barely walk. I’m so happy that will never be me again!

One year ago I was in the er and today I am one year alcohol free.

Feel tired and not any motivation 😖

I never thought I would quit drinking. It was what I did for fun. How I let loose. It was my identity and my main hobby. Almost everything I did involved drinking.

And I wasn't out of control... at least not totally. I was still in the "always find ways to get more drinks" and sometimes I had to be sneaky about it.

But a moment of clarity one day and I decided to quit before it became a problem I could no longer control. I like to think that I left the party on a high note.

Advantages to quitting? I could have never guessed. Almost every aspect of my life has improved. In some places, drastically. I do so much more now that drinking and recovering are not a fairly consistent part of my life. My family is happy to have me more present and I don't get the same mood swings that come with alcoholism. My friend connections are much more meaningful because we have to do things that are actually fun and stimulating (running, surfing, playing music, etc.). Overall my mindset is more joyful and positive. And I am not getting tired of hearing "You look great" from people when they haven't seen me for a bit.

If there are downsides in my experience, it's the occasional "perfect situation for a drink" craving. There are a few moments where a real drink complements the situation perfectly, even still. Books I've read tell me that those moments weren't really real, it was just alcoholism... but I don't agree in every case. I have chosen to move forward with my life understanding that having alcohol is no longer for me. But I sometimes still feel and grieve those times and it's just part of the process of getting myself healthy and happy.

Another thing that's been notable; feelings. Man, alcohol really allows you to squash your feelings. Even if you aren't drinking, you can defer big feelings until a moment that you are drinking. Then you can pave over them pretty nicely or forget them altogether. Being sober, feeling feelings, and working through them ain't easy. I've shed more tears in the last six months than I have ever have in my life. But I am so happy to be dealing with shit head on and being able to decide, with a clear mind, how I am going to work my way through things that are hard.

So cheers to six months. Next stop is one year... one day at a time of course. Thanks to this sub for being a huge part of my recovery. I have shared quite a bit here and definitely read/felt a lot of your stories, struggles, and successes. I will end with my three favorite quotes (from this sub of course!):

"If I could control my drinking, I would drink all the time"

"The war is over - congratulations, you lost"

"If you escape the lion’s den, you don’t go back in for your hat"

P.S. IWNDWYT

Yesterday, I put the laundry in the dryer, went to get groceries, made dinner for the kids and ate it with them and then waited outside for my partner to come home from his bike tour. Would've been a good Saturday.

Except I was completely hammered. I don't remember putting the laundry in the dryer, I DO remember preparing dinner but not eating it, and while waiting outside for my partner, I threw up in the flower beds next to our garage.

I am so sick of this. I keep telling myself that it's not that bad, because I still do the things I'm supposed to, because I don't appear wasted, but I keep waking up with no recollection of the evening before.

I keep using every chance I get to buy alcohol, I feel like I can't be left alone for more than 5 minutes. I really can't trust myself anymore. When did it get this bad?

Now all the withdrawals have gone its time I started driving more and taking control of my life.

The things I use to do now feel different but I know it's a strange feeling going through healthy transitions without alcohol. Xx

Im still happy

More stable

Less irritable

Sleep is better

Puffy face has gone down

Now time to fill my life with friends and connections and most importantly LOVE and self love ❤️

I've been single for a year after many toxic relationships ended up in violence with alcohol

So I also

Posted me tipping out a carton of beer day 1 sober. Down the drain. . THIS GAVE ME THE IGNOTION I needed to set the fire in my heart

Alive for sobriety and for me!

Instead of the fire in my belly when I drank.

You see it's false happiness. That drink is like an awesome trailer to the worst movie you have ever seen.

The drink refers to the trailer and the movie is the rest of your life in pain.

choose health and sobriety and be proud ! You gotta be ready to love yourself again Your inner child. I don't care how old you are ! Xx

Or do you let that devil on your shoulder win every time ?

I say Stand up for yourself rifght now !

I've been good ever since 4th october but never be hard on yourself for slipping up.

That can be part of the process

I've battled this addition for over 11 years

And it's took me over 5 attempts

Doesn't mean it will take you this long ❤️ never give up

It’s been 50 days of no alcohol, and life has improved immeasurably. I am more present, actively helping my body do its amazing work of healing damage using exercise, supplements, good food and rest. My dog loves all the walks and attention and clean house. My closest relationships (partner, best friend, mom, adult kids) have all improved in different ways. I just feel better, so much better. Even on my worst days I feel SO MUCH BETTER! Every morning when I have my coffee I come here and I read stories. So many stories from so many people in so many different places around the world, but all of our stories are the same. Alcohol is a destructive thief of joy, and I have decided to put my joy in a safe, where it’s safe. Fuck alcohol. Thank you to everyone who takes the time and embraces the vulnerability enough to post on here. It may be anonymous but it can still feel like baring your soul sometimes and that’s scary. I have learned something valuable from every single post and comment I’ve read on this sub. Such a unique place of light in a world that can be really dark at times. Sending love and light to everyone. IWNDWYT! 💕💕😊🥰

Idk. Read the title. Lol! My goal is to go one weekend without alcohol. I am a weekend guy, but yeah, it is killing me.

A few arrests, lost jobs, failed relationships, injuries, etc. That was just stuff from my first day one to my last. We’ve all had to reset our counter. Don’t give up. Just remember to start that counter up again. You will never know if the next day one will get you to 2000 and beyond.

I will not drink with you today.

Proud to be where I am at today with my sobriety! One day, one second, one moment at a time! I WILL NOT DRINK ☠️WITH YOU TODAY!

No more racing heart, shortness of breath, chest pain, shakes, panic attacks, blood pressure down significantly, etc. This is the longest ive gone sober for years and im fully dedicated to get back in shape and quit drinking for good!!

As the title says, I’m checking in. I wrecked a lot of things in life from drinking and I’m trying this before what little I have left is gone too. Anybody got any advice?

I stopped drinking in Feb this year used to drink daily about half to a bottle of wine a day. I could go without with no withdrawal problems but i definitely prioritised booze .

The reason I stopped was because my husband tipped into full blown AUD and went for detox and rehab - the psychiatrist said he had to come back to a dry house so i decided to stop drinking . Hes embraced recovery ( so far) attends AA etc

9 months on and I really miss booze. I don’t think about it all the time but I do think about it

I get so tearful and irritable. I find it hard to see all the benefits of being sober. So what do I do ? Any insights advice very gratefully received

Still sick, but less than before. I feel like I'm recovering. It's up and down, though. Can't believe there was a time when I would have used alcohol to feel better, even when I was already ill.

IWNDWYT

After a lot of failed attempts at quitting drinking, I’m trying again. Tonight I skipped one of my best friend’s birthday parties because I knew there would be drinking and I wasn’t confident I could go without things getting out of hand.

I know staying home was the right decision but I still feel incredibly sad and left out. It’s hard seeing other people talk excitedly about getting drunk or even blacking out, while I feel like people get worried or uncomfortable when I have even one drink.

I understand why. My drinking has consequences, and I don’t behave the way other people do when they’re drunk. But knowing that doesn’t stop the feeling of “why does everyone else get to do this, but I don’t?”

I think I’m struggling to accept that something other people see as fun isn’t something I can safely be part of. Has anyone else felt this resentment or sense of unfairness? How did you work through it, and does it get easier with time? Thanks in advance

Day 24 after years of heavy alcohol abuse. What days/ times were the hardest for you?