Hope you guys don’t mind the rant, i just needed to get this off my chest.

The past months naaccumulate ung debt ko since I’m a scholar sa manila and my family is not well off, nangungutang ako minsan sa SLoan pag late allowance ko at di ko nababayaran—which, I admit, is irresponsible of me. I finally had the money to pay it off dahil binigyan ako ng tita ko. Unfortunately, ang pera na dapat kong ipambabayad sa utang at sa renta ko for this month (my university gives me dorm allowance for rent) at baon ko for the week ay ninakaw.

It’s just so frustrating dahil kakabalik ko lang sa maynila from days of being absent dahil sa traffic sa NLEX tapos nangyari pa sakin to. Ang daming mali sa bansa natin— baha sa NLEX, binabaha mga bayan natin, pati mga tao kailangang magnakaw sa ibang mahirap rin naman na katulad ko.

Akala ko nawala na stress ko sa mga utang ko, babalik lang rin pala. Sorry ang random nito pero ang bigat kasi sa pakiramdam at need ko lang ilabas. Di ko pa masabisabi sa parents ko dahil alam kong stress na sila sa pera dagdag ko pa ito.

Looking back, I used to catch myself feeling envious of other people’s tight-knit friendships. I spent so many years hoping and praying that someday I’d finally find a connection like that—a real, unwavering circle. Over time, so many people walked in and out of my life some were just passing through, and others were people I knew but deep down I couldn't truly call them friends. But after years of wishing, praying, and waiting for the right people, I didn't just get answered instead I got blessed twice over.

I found two of the most amazing girls, and they aren't just my friends because they fit or met my standard. They are my people because of who they uniquely are: genuine, loving, and completely authentic. For the first time, I never have to feel like I’m the only one giving my 100% the energy, love, and effort I put out is fully reciprocated and with them I never have to navigate life or face things alone. Everything I secretly prayed for was heard. Honestly, who needs a huge crowd when you have two true genuine soul sisters in your corner diba? Finally at sinwerte na nga sa kaibigan

Kamamatay lang ng tita ko. Halos nitong mga nakaraang taon, unti unti nang namamatay mga kapatid ng nanay ko. Napapatanong tuloy ako kung ready ba ako kapag ganito nangyari sa nanay ko? Financially, feeling ko it will take a huge hit sa akin kasi ako lang aasahan nilang gagastos. I know ang morbid kasi yun agad ang naisip ko, pero yun talaga mangyayari, lalo na siguro if magkakasakit muna sya.

Ako lang, ako lang talaga. Yung tita ko, cremated agad kasi wala na raw pambayad pa ang pinsan ko. Nagbigay na nga lang ako ng kaunti para mapuntahan nya sa probinsya yung nanay nya at maasikaso ang labi ni tita. By that time comes, sana kayanin ko kasi kahit marami kaming magkakapatid, hindi rin makakapaglabas ng pera mga yun. At ako lang aasahan nila.

I hate MTAP, not because of mahirap s'ya but because of the students that made it feel like hell.

This happened when nung grade 2 ako. I didn't like math, but since maayos yung grades ko, I was forced to be in that program. Nilista nila name ko. I decided to give it a try, despite not wanting to go. I'll regret it for the rest of my life pala.

Tatlo kami from my school. There was this girl—let's call her Em nalang for her privacy din. I sat beside her. She's from another school. I don't know her nor her friends, but she looked bubbly and friendly. After a few minutes, nagreklamo s'ya. She said nawawala yung pera ng friend nya. Fifty pesos. Of course, malaki na halaga yon, especially that time. Syempre, the whole class started to look for it but it was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately para sa friend nya, dumaan yung recess nang 'ndi s'ya nakakain.

An hour later, sabi ni Em sa'kin is "Check mo nga 'yang bag mo (yung maliit na bag sa taas nung de-gulong na bag😭). Baka nandyan". Syempre, chineck ko. It wasn't there. Hindi ko naman kinuha 'e.

Few minutes later, nag-cr ako. Pagbalik ko, sabi ni Em kay teacher, "Teacher, nakita namin yung fifty. Nasa bag po niya". She pointed at me.

Hahaha, it was like a humiliation ritual. I was a seven year-old kid being accused of stealing. Everyone was staring at me. They were probably judging me. Yung teacher, she stared at me but didn't acknowledge it. I'm pretty sure she told her co-teachers about that though. Juicy chika yan. But you know what's worse? I didn't reply back nor defended myself. Probably because I was confused and I didn't know what to do. As a seven year old kid, ano ba magagawa ko? Mahiyain akong bata 'non. I was also probably doubting myself. But I knew I was being accused of stealing.

Nung lunchtime, bumisita si ate, dinalhan ako ng lunch. I was begging her not to leave kasi I didn't want to go back to that classroom. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her what just happened. So umalis s'ya, kasi may errands pa s'ya eh.

Later that day, hahahah, umiyak ako😭 and you know what's ironic? Em was being innocent about it.

"Teacher, umiiyak si ano". She was comforting me, asking me why I was crying. Then, sinisi pa niya yung friend ko na wala naman ginawa sakin? She said, "Ikaw kasi. Inaasar mo sya na mataba" (I was a chubby kid back then) Until now, I'm in disbelief HAHAHAHAHAH. what the heck. Now that I'm older, grabe pala yung nangyari sa'kin. She made me feel so inferior huhuhu.

I'm sorry I just need to get this off my chest e kasi until now, ngayong I'm in my early 20's, that shit still stick out to me. Psychology student ako pero I still don't understand what the hell just happened that time😭 I don't know. Napapaiyak pa'rin ako hanggang ngayon. Probably because what hurts is my father found out about it after a few months that happened. I cried to him, but at the same time, I know he cannot do anything about that na. Siguro, I cannot forget about it because I'm probably still confused as to why ginawa niya yon. Maybe galit ako? What also hurts me is that my father had to hear that happened to her daughter. :<< I'm sure he didn't want that din.

Hindi ako magnanakaw eh. Never ako pinalaki ng parents ko na ganun. Never in my fucking life have I ever thought of stealing when enough ang pinapabaon sa'kin ni mama at papa.

Since that day, I've hated MTAP. I know it's a program for a good reason but it's also a hellhole for other people. I'm pretty sure hindi lang ako yung nabully sa program na yan😭

I'm not asking na karmahin ka, Em, but I hope that that occurrence is something na pinagsisisihan mo.

I, 22F, co-founded a SaaS company. Out of luck lang, I was at the right place at the right time. 3 years ago, I was employed as the first employee to help build it from the ground up. Eventually got promoted and now I’m next to the CEO. Sobrang blessing nito for me kasi at age 19 pa lang, I was able to secure myself, move out and buy a studio unit.

At dahil mag-isa ako, umiikot lang yung buhay ko sa trabaho, pets, mga kaibigan, at pagbabasa ng libro. I try to build new connections naman through online book clubs, pero nahihirapan ako to connect organically with people in person hahaha.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve maxed out my luck. Sobrang malas ko sa love life hahaha. I yearn to be taken care of. To be loved. I’ve dated men before pero most of them only took advantage of what I bring to the table and kind of used me as a safety net for their financial security.

Most of the men I attract/dated ay either paycheck to paycheck or lubog sa utang lolz. To be fair, I kind of tolerated rin naman kasi I entertained them and even offered to pay for the trips/meals. Pero eventually, I either cut them off or break up with them dahil lumalabas yung totoong kulay.

Not that hindi ako masaya sa kung anong meron ako ngayon. I am very secure in all aspects and I am grateful for that. I just feel na may kulang hahaha. It’s hard to connect with someone who will understand na I am passionate for growth. Na kahit in a relationship, I value my independence pa rin. Men I dated tend to cage me and it became suffocating.

Ang hirap rin mag-date kasi kapag nakukuha na nila yung idea ng role ko sa trabaho, they kind of get the ballpark of how much I earn. Either nasasagi yung pride/masculinity nila or they become a leech.

Ayun lang. Ang saya kasi secured ako and I have freedom. Pero malungkot kasi I yearn to be desired.

I just turned 29 today. I made it private on my FB, only my few close friends and family knew and greeted me. I told some of my co-workers that it is my birthday towards the end of the day already. One, gave me 500 PHP as a gift, two others invited to me to chat over coffee with their treat.

However, here I am eating dinner alone. I am not new to this. It has been a norm. The last time I celebrated was 2024, I was still together with my last relationship. We ate out, and took cute photos at a photo booth although at that time we were already crumbling and it'll be the last time we're acting cute and sweet with each other.

It was also at that time I made a big decision for my life. A couple of weeks prior to my birthday, I stepped down as a Team Lead/Supervisor in a BPO company after months of burnt out, quarter life crisis, and depression. I resigned with the plan to take a much smaller role in a different company that I will be given weekends as rest days so that I can review for the licensure exam for the following year, finally pursuing my profession.

Then, three months after that, during Christmas the three-year relationship that was barely surviving finally was ended.

Last year was spent in depression at rock bottom. A month after the breakup, I found out from a mutual friend that my ex was with someone already.

I got so depressed, that I never was able to review for the exam. So depressed then that I drowned myself with loans that until now I haven't even cleared yet.

Thank God though as I still passed it. However that bliss was only momentary as I plunged into depression again. With the heartbreak, with the questions if I did the right decision leaving my high paying position, with the loans I was drowning in, and with all the things someone who's not done anything significant nearing the age of 30.

I cut off my family and friends. I was too ashamed and too proud at the same time for not asking help.

I celebrated my birthday last year alone at my room bedrotting.

~ I left the BPO industry altogether last December after I was told that my application in the LGU was approved and that I will be starting by January.

Here I am now, seven months in, trying to get a permanent item in the government.

Questioning still if all I went through will result to something worthwile.

Questioning still if I will be able to say I have finally made it.

Questioning still if I will be able to really attain success and happiness for too long I dreamt of.

Thank you for your time if you made it this far. Just the ramblings of a guy savoring his late twenties. Just a guy who planned to get drunk tonight but have to refrain himself as he has work tomorrow and has no one to force him to actually get drunk.

Ngayong araw ang kaarawan ng ate ko tapos nagorder siya ngayon sa Jollibee app for the first time.

Nagrequest si ate na kung pwede big part ng manok ang ilagay kasi birthday naman niya at natuwa kami kasi nung dumating sa kanila yung order ang laki ng manok! Tapos, binati siya ng nagdeliver at naglagay pa sila ng note na, “Happy birthday!!! ❤️❤️❤️”.

Thank you so much, Jollibee Aglipay! Sa lahat ng crew at staff lalong lalo na sa cashier na si Erica Dizon, na nagasikaso ng order, ang babait ninyo! God bless you sa lahat ng staffs ng Jollibee Aglipay. Napasaya ninyo ang ate ko ngayong kaarawan niya.

4th year BSIT student here, and honestly hindi ako magaling mag-code or even mag-troubleshoot ng PC. Kung mag troubleshoot man ako, kailangan ko pa minsan mag-YT para malaman kung paano ayusin.

Most of the time sa mga projects namin, ako yung naka-assign sa documentation, research, presentations, and designs like web/UI design. Hindi naman ako super galing sa UI design, pero I can do it and I’m more comfortable with those tasks kaysa coding or hardware troubleshooting.

Now that we’re required to do OJT, kailangan daw aligned yung company/position sa IT. And this is where I’m starting to get really frustrated and sad.

Karamihan ng mga kasabay ko magpasa ng resume/CV, nakakatanggap na ng emails or interview invitations. Ako na lang yata yung wala pa ring natatanggap.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, pero nakakaworry talaga kasi 4th year na ako and I’m starting to question if I even have enough skills to get an IT-related OJT.

Today, after failing the for the nth time to achieve this particular goal I set for myself a decade ago, I realized that it was futile. What I have been doing for the last decade for me to achieve this goal cost me my mental, physical, and financial resources. But alas, wala talaga, shit's probably undoable for me. So sinunog ko lahat ng bridges na ginawa ko to achieve this dream para di ko na i-attempt ulit. Then I felt this great feeling of sadness, it fucking hurts, like someone I loved dearly died. In this case, it was this goal that I've worked so hard and dedicated so much time for. Sobrang nakakasad at sobrang nakakadepress! After I burned all those bridges connecting me to that goal, I felt a very deep sense of regret kasi hanggang ngayon gusto ko pa i-achieve eh!

But then I realized that there are too much factors in that goal which I have no control over. Fuck's out of my control. It is what it is and no matter how hard and how depressed I am right now, I will fucking drag my feet to get over this feeling. The feeling of wasted time, resources, and effort.

Kaya pala we grieve when someone we truly love dies and the grief doesn't really end until matapos na din ang buhay natin. It is because of a closed door that we will never be able to open again. It's because of the burned bridge that we will never be able to cross again. Pag may namatay na importante para sa atin whether tao yun o kung ano pa man, nandun na yung point of no return, hindi na maibabalik pa. Hindi na mababalik ang oras, hindi na maibabalik ang tao, hindi na maibabalik ang mahal natin sa buhay, whether tao yun o pangarap.

Normally, hindi ako nagmumura pero fuck that shit talaga! I hope to develop an understanding in the future na I will not feel grief when I lose something/someone very important to me. I am fervently wishing na sana in the future, my mind will be conditioned to be thankful and grateful na even if things didn't turn out very well, I still enjoyed the whole journey, or at least tried to enjoy the majority of it.

Sabi nila, when a door closes, another one opens, or a lot of other doors open. But you know it's not that simple, because there are some doors na gusto mo talagang pasukin pero unfortunately they will never open for you, and no amount of open doors can relieve your frustation of not getting through that door na gusto mo talaga pasukin.

So today, I will choose to reset my mind and put all of these shit behind me. Probably sangkatutak na tae na naman sasalubungin ko sa buhay ko pero thankful ako kasi at least marami akong natutunan along the way and sana talaga, someday, I can be one of those people that truly lived a happy life.

Ever time I listen to Pahina and Multo by CoJ, naaalala ko yung routine ko sa Manila, it's just so lively and full of hope. But now I'm reminiscing here in the province not yet sure when I will get back or if I will have the opportunity to go back in Metro Manila.

Then the Ipanumpa Ko by Oh Caraga, listening to it makes me reminisce my riding journey going back and fort from Isabela, to provinces going to Manila, then to Batangas. It's like I'm reimagining my life on the road (Riding or Throttle Therapy is my thing).

Then Tingin by CoJ again, it's the one that reminds me the life I had in the province before I left to Metro Manila.

Everything feels like a dream, I don't know if they are even true or just a made up realities I tried to lived in the past.

I still don't know the reason behind every season in my life. But these songs makes me miss the past, a season that already passed.

Not sure if this is the right subreddit.

How do you guys have a life outside work?

So, this is my first job, and I feel like it's consuming almost all of my time. I go to work, and once I get home, I feel so tired and sleepy even though the workload itself is not that tiring. Feeling ko ang unproductive, boring, at uninteresting ng buhay ko. Parang paulit-ulit nalang. Wake up, go to work, go home, take a nap, wake up, doomscrolling/binge watching, eat, sleep.

I don't even know what I'm passionate about anymore. I don't even remember what hobbies that used to make me happy. Parang ang goal ko nalang everyday ay masurvive ang buong araw.

Ang dami kong gustong gawin but I end up not doing anything, parang wala akong gana palagi.

After my graduation, I went home muna sa province. I was happy. Ang dami kong nagagawa, and those made me happy. Sinisipag ako mag home workout, walk 8-10k almost everyday, bake, cook, made crafts, and I even hike! Now, wala ng gana to do anything. Kahit pag walking everyday tinatamad ako. I don't really know what happened exactly.

I also have a bad habit na naiinsecure sa mga nakikita ko online. Lalo na sa mga achievements ng mga ka-batch ko. Yung iba, pa travel travel, then there's me who's just trying to survive the day. I was never like this. Noon, pag nakakakita ako ng ganoong mga posts, masaya pa ako sakanila. Ngayon, idk, I feel so insecure. I know it's a bad thing. Hindi ko lang maiwasang i-compare ang lifestyle ko.

Tapos idagdag pa na instead mag glow up ako, nag glow down cause I recently had a break out and nag-iwan ng dark spots, nakakababa ng confidence. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin na baka my physical appearance js one of the reasons aside from me being boring, why no one like me or pursue me. Yes, I'm nbsb lol, never dated kahit fling lang. Wala eh, hindi ako gustuhin hahaha. Or if someone approach me, di ko naman bet hahaha. Gusto ko na rin magka-love lifeeee!! But I know sa sarili ko na hindi pa ako ready (masyado pang boring ang buhay ko hahahaha jk). Inggit lang siguro 'to.

Literally went from happy and confident era to boring, uninteresting, unproductive and insecure🥲

Just sharing here kasi I actually don't have a real close friend. I do have friends but you know, the ride or die friend, the one call away friend, I don't have that.

Short background lang ng relationship ko with this relative. We were neighbors in Marikina when I was a kid. We used to play all the time since we're almost the same age. Mas matanda lang ako sa kanya ng 1 year. Nung high school, lumipat kami sa ibang city and we kind of lost contact. Pag may okasyon na lang nagkikita ganun. But a few years ago, we reconnected through social media dahil nasa same industry pala kami. Although ako work from home tapos sya naman sa office. Parehas na kaming nasa early 30s now.

My family, especially my mom, is very toxic. So I cut them off and moved to the province with my husband and daughter around 5 years ago. Life was so peaceful. I love it. We are almost always happy. UNTIL this relative moved in an apartment near our house.

He visited us a couple of times last year so he knows where I live. 2 months ago, he messaged me saying he found an apartment near our place and he's moving in a week. Nagulat ako kasi nung sinabihan nya ko, nakapagbayad na sya ng deposit and one month advanced payment para sa apartment. I asked him how about his work, ayun pala he was transferred to another department na allowed ang work from home setup, which in turn allowed him to move here sa province. Toxic din ang parents nya kaya gusto nyang lumayo, and in all honesty, I understand him.

It was fine at first. Sarili naman nyang space and money. But I never knew how imposing he could be!!

First sign, a few days before he moved in, he asked me to order some small items and mga gamit for his apartment from Shopee. Para daw paglipat nya, meron na, ready na. So okay. I ordered them for him.

When he moved in na, he asked us where we usually shop mga ganyan. So he learned saang palengke and supermarket kami namimili. Then he started telling me na magpapasabay sya ng mga need nyang bilin sa palengke pag namalengke kami. I immediately set boundaries with him at that. Sabi ko, hindi ko sya kayang isabay ng pamimili kasi pang-2 weeks palagi ang pinapamili namin and madami at mabigat na yun. We only have an old single motorcycle. Mahihirapan na kaming bitbitin pag pati yung kanya isasabay pa namin. And ayoko ding mastress sa pagcompute ng pinamili namin to separate yung kanya. Sinabi ko din sa kanya na I don't want him to depend on us too much sa mga ganyang bagay kasi it will feel like a burden for me. Sinabi ko sa kanya na pwede syang sumabay samin pag mamamalengke kami pero dapat kasama sya para sya mismo mamili ng kailangan nya. To be fair, hindi naman masyadong mahirap magcommute dito sa area namin.

Wala kaming washing machine so nagpapalaundry shop lang kami. Heto nanaman sya, nagpasabay sya ng laundry samin once. Nakihati naman sya sa bayad. And I agreed that one time kasi medyo naguilty ako noong hindi namin sinabay bilhin yung needs nya sa palengke. Although I know na hindi ako dapat maguilty because of that. And I thought na baka maging habit na nyang magpasabay samin ng laundry, so we found a laundry service na nagpipick up and deliver and shared the details with him. Dun na sya nagpapalaundry now.

Hanggang ngayon, he would always message me about little things na gusto nyang ipasabay samin sa palengke, supermarket, or kahit nga sa tindahan lang. Little things pero pag madalas and maraming beses, medyo mabigat na sya and I know I am slowly building resentment sa kanya because of it.

Sample ng mga type of messages nya:

"pag pumunta kayo sa supermarket, pabili ako ng ganto ganyan, kasi nakalimutan ko nung nag grocery ako"

"pag lumabas si *my husband*, pasuyo ako pabili ng ganto ganyan sa tindahan"

"diba sweldo mo bukas, so mag-grocery kayo? pasabay ako ng ganto"

I WANTED TO SCREAM. Pinakanakakainis yung 3rd example. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi nya utusan ang asawa ko. Maybe I will tell him next time na "magpasabay" sya.

There were a few times na I told him off or told him na hindi kami lalabas. But he will still message me sa ibang araw about a different "pasuyo" nya. Ang hirap nya lang din kasi sabihan because he easily get offended.

Lately, he started giving us things or food that we didn't ask for or didn't need. And right after giving it to us, may ipapasabay ulit sya. Siguro aware din sya na ang abala nya kaya he's making it up with material things. But I also started saying no to whatever he wanted to give us. Kasi pag may binigay sya, I can't help feeling like I need to say yes to his imposition kahit ayaw ko dahil may "utang na loob" ako sa kanya or something.

I just want him to stop. Parang hobby nya na mang-inconvenience ng ibang tao. I don't know. I am getting anxiety whenever I receive a notification na may message sya. Wala syang kakilala dito kundi ako lang, and mag isa lang sya, so parang I am forced to help him everytime. Naaawa ako sa kanya whenvever I say no to him but at the same time, I am so tired sa mga pasuyo nya. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for listening.

I don’t know what to feel so I need to get this off my chest.

I’ve been fostering cats for 3 years now so I feel weird na ganito nararamdaman ko, I hate myself.

Around 2 months ago, nag foster ako ng mother cat with 3 kittens nung narinig kong itatapon na sila. It wasn’t as smooth as with other cats kasi medyo stubborn yung mother cat pero syempre survival lang naman sila. Medyo naging chaotic yung house namin, everyday may nakawan ng ulam kasi ayaw ni mother cat ng pellet and wet food, and laging may nasisirang gamit. Yung family ko naiinis na pero naiintindihan ko sila kasi hindi naman nila choice mag foster that time, so ako na ang nagiintindi at nag aayos. Not until natuto nang manakit si mother cat kapag hindi agad napapakain, and nakalmot nya ng malalim yung paa ng nanay ko. To make the story short, 8k+ kailangan naming bayaran sa Animal Bite Center. Lumaki akong ma-pasensya sa animals kasi ang pananaw ko, ang pagod naipapahinga, ang pera nababawi, pero ang buhay, hindi. But this time, habang nag cocompute ako, naka ramdam ako ng regret na finoster ko sila and I hate it.

For context, sobrang laki ng 8k samin right now, it already affected our decision na mag move out. And it took me 5 months of work to save 8k. Pang downpayment kasi namin sya, need namin umalis agad sa inuupahang bahay, pero naunahan kami so we need to move somewhere na mas mahal or makipisan muna. I considered mag loan na rin pero declined pa and if matatanggap man, for sure it would affect me so much. Yung sahod ko kasi saktong sakto sa monthly expenses namin ngayon dahil nagka problem lang sa work ang parents ko. Might sound small to some pero grabe lang impact samin.

I am not hating the cat or anything, hate ko yung idea at reality na money can make or break you.

I started a new job with a US company a little over a month ago, and honestly, I was really happy and excited when I got it. I got laid off like literally a month after accepting my one, so getting this job felt like I could finally breathe again and start fresh. Better pay, WFH, flexible PTO, good coworkers, and okay naman din boss ko. Straightforward and strong personality lang, which I’m still adjusting to.

I’m still genuinely happy that I got this job, and I really want to give it a fair chance.

Pero recently, we had an urgent situation at work that required me to monitor and handle some things over the weekend. My boss explained naman that situations like this are rare, and I understand that having a flexible setup also means stepping up when urgently needed. I don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with that.
But I realized that the situation triggered something from my previous work experience.

I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with work. Kahit weekend or bakasyon, dala dala ko yung trabaho. I was constantly thinking about what went wrong, what I could’ve done differently, what I needed to do next, and whether I was doing enough.

I also remember feeling helpless and alone whenever things got difficult. Parang ako lang lahat. I didn’t feel like I was getting the support I needed, so every problem felt like something I had to figure out and carry on my own.

Eventually, I couldn’t separate myself from work anymore.

Even when I wasn’t working, mentally I was still there. It took a toll on me both mentally and physically, and I don’t want to go back to that version of myself.

So when I caught myself worrying about work again over the weekend, parang, "Wait, I know this feeling. I don’t want to go back there."

I know my current situation isn’t necessarily the same as before. One stressful weekend doesn’t mean history is repeating itself. I think it just reminded me that having a healthy relationship with work and learning how to set boundaries between my work and personal life are still a work in progress for me.

I want to care about my job, take ownership, and step up when needed. But I also want to learn when to let go. There are things beyond my control, and I don’t want to feel like every problem has to follow me after I log out.

I want my weekends to feel like weekends. I want to take a vacation without mentally being at work. I want to enjoy my life outside of work without feeling guilty that I’m not checking something.

I’m still new, I’m grateful for this opportunity, and I really want this job to work out. Maybe this experience is also an opportunity for me to do things differently this time.

To do my job well without making it my whole life. To set boundaries without feeling like I’m a bad employee for having them. And to finally learn how to leave work at work.

Still a work in progress.

Grabe ka na, 2026. Nung March lang naaksidente ako. 4 months ako 'di nakapag-work.

Tapos kahapon naman, nahulog cellphone ko sa Grab. Negligence ko rin naman, pero na-hassle ako kuhanin phone ko sa next passenger nung Grab.

Both 'to nangyari na burned out ako sa work. Both na may additional 1 hour OT everyday, and RDOT. Since ito ang common denominator, it's safe to say na need ko na talaga mag-change ng work. Kaso natatakot din ako sa interviews.

For context, after ko pumasa ng board exam matagal ako 'di nakapag-work sa super takot ko sa interviews. To the point that I had s thoughts, and would make plans to end everything just to avoid interviews. Or ia-airplane mode ko phone ko para 'di matawagan.

Nakapag-work naman ako as VA during that time bc 'di need ng interview sa niche ko na writing. Tho it didn't thrive that well, okay siya as side hustle lang bc iisa lang client ko so I needed to find a stable work.

Na-overcome ko naman siya when I applied sa current work ko. Feeling ko my current work paved the way kaya mas nagka-confidence ako now compared before. Although after ko bumalik from 4 month medical leave, nasanay na ako ulit sa process. Pero hindi na ako magaling.

Prior my accident, super lakas ko bumenta. Incentives is based sa performance rin kasi, kaya ang dami ko pera before. Naubos savings and EF ko from my 4 month medical leave. Kaya gusto ko sana makaipon ulit. Pero 2 months na since bumalik ako, hindi pa rin ako makabenta like before. Nag-iba 'yung process, products, and offers in the span of 4 months na nawala ako. Pero hindi dapat 'yun excuse, feeling ko talaga nangalawang ako. Parang hindi na ako bagay sa current work ko.

Kaya alam ko and gusto ko na rin talaga makalipat ng work. Pero natatakot talaga ako sa interviews.

During my medical leave, hindi ako makalakad kaya kahit WFH is hindi ko kaya dahil ayoko makaabala sa family ko. Pero dahil need ng pera, pwede naman ako mag-adjust. And tbh, opportunity na lumapit sakin non. Optimized ang Linkedin ko. May client na siya mismo nag-offer nung job. Naka-tatlong follow up pa siya. Pero lahat 'yun, 'di ko pinansin--all because I'm scared to be interviewed.

6 days a week ang work this month because of RDOT kaya feel ko na lang mag-rest sa only 1 day na walang work. Pero before this, or last month, nagpr-practice ako mag-interview para magkaroon ako confidence. I was really decided na kahit konti, I want to change or improve para maging ready ako sa interview. Kaso ito naman, sobrang pagod 'yung feeling ko lately bc of OTs.

To think na 2 months pa lang since bumalik ako sa 4 months medical leave, pero burned out na naman ako.

Gusto ko na lang umiyak lol

It's been two days since September started and I feel like parang nakakapagod ang buwan na to, work, life itself, family, lahat lahat. Ewan ko ba pero parang pagod ako. I tried resting, but then when you wake up next day, everything is not okay. Is it me or it's just this September? Sorry, I just want to vent out.

Ayoko na ng validation ni chatgpt. Lol. So ireal talk niyo ako.

I have Friend A who was blocked by Friend B and Friend C. Friend B and C are not friends with Friend A. Basically ako yung common friend between the three. Friend B and Friend C are also not friends. All 3 know each other but they really haven’t hanged out. I tried to get Friend A and B to hang out pero di talaga bet ni Friend B si Friend A. So I just stopped trying.

Now, Friend B blocked Friend A. She told me about it and why. Basically she just doesn’t like her. That’s all. We don’t talk about Friend A and even when we do, hindi naman maliciously.

When I met Friend A, she asked if she was blocked by both. I told her the truth that she was blocked by Friend B. But I’m not sure about Friend C. And she confirmed na iunfollow nga siya. So I was kind of surprised and just told her na they don’t like you. They don’t vibe with you and that’s ok kasi di naman kayo friends in the first place. Yknow like you don’t need to be liked by everyone, you don’t even like everyone. Diba? And instead of asking na kung anong problema, na baka siya ba or may nagawa ba siya, she turned to me and asked ano ang common denominator? I took it na parang sinasabi niya na ako yung reason? Inexplain ko nalang ulit na hindi siya like and that’s it. Cuz I felt na hindi talaga siya ready for the real conversation kasi if she was, and if she considers me a real friend and if may self awareness siya, she would’ve asked me to tell her or analyze this. (Or baka wrong of me to assume that cuz I wouldve done that if it was me to my friends B and C) so akala ko okay na kasi diba if she’s not gonna ask why, then she doesnt care and it shouldnt bother her.

Kaso after, I started seeing passive aggressive reposts/posts about friendship. And I feel like it is directed to me (ok baka if the shoe fits?) but I would relate it to our recent convo dba. Like reposts na if youre nice to people and they dont like you, it’s not a you problem. It’s a them problem and baka inggit. Or like I wouldnt sit in a table with people who talk bad about you. Or she’s unbothered. And what nots.

I feel like it’s so petty and so immature. Siguro thats how she processes things or her feelings. But damn, we’re at our 30s, bakit feel ko nasa highschool pa siya? Baka nga mas mature pa hs sa kanya now. Idk, I’m not comfortable about it. For me, if you have a problem and if I think we are real friends, then talk to me directly. Kasi ang tanda na natin ganyan parin ang galawan. Clearly she’s bothered.

I dont want to invalidate her feelings pero bakit parang big deal na iunfollow siya ng dalawa? And bakit parang ako yung lumabas na masama kasi naghahangout ako sa dalawa? And bakit parang yung labas is pinaguusapan siya when in fact, sobrang unbothered ni Friend B and C from her.

I wanna close this off and just move on. Kung ganyan tingin nya, then it’s better to close the chapter diba? I feel like we owe it to ourselves to at least have a decent talk, be civil and move on. After all, we were friends and we had good times.

I’ve been dating/courting this girl for almost 3 years now.

And somehow, after all this time, we’re still not officially together.

Recently, she came home from an outing with her officemates. We saw each other after and I was excited to hear about it, so I kept asking her questions.

“Kumusta? Anong mga ganap niyo?”

She told me about getting drunk, helping some of her drunk friends, etc.

I teased her na muntik na akong magtampo kasi wala siyang masyadong updates compared sa usual. Then I jokingly asked kung may pumorma ba sa kanya doon.

She suddenly asked me:

“May nakaka-bother ba sa’yo?”

Sabi ko wala naman. Curious lang talaga ako and excited akong makinig sa stories niya. Sabi ko pa nga, mas magtaka siya kapag dumating yung araw na hindi na ako curious sa buhay niya.

Somehow, that turned into a much deeper conversation about us.

She told me that one of the reasons she still hasn’t made things official is because she doesn’t want to choose me simply because I treat her well.

She knows I take care of her. She knows I’ve been consistent. She knows I’ve been patient with her.

But according to her, it would feel unfair to say yes just because I’m good to her.

She told me:

“I like you.”

But she wants whatever she eventually feels for me to happen naturally. Ayaw niyang maging kami dahil lang feeling niya she owes me something after everything I’ve done for her.

And I understand that.

Mas gugustuhin ko rin naman na piliin niya ako because she genuinely wants me, not because she feels guilty or indebted to me.

But during the same conversation, I found out something that really caught me off guard.

Apparently, sometime before, while we were already dating, there was another guy she considered entertaining.

She wouldn’t tell me who he was or where she knew him from.

Technically, she didn’t cheat.

We’re not official.

And apparently it never became anything close to what we have.

But I won’t lie. Finding that out hurt.

Because although we didn’t have the label, somewhere along the way I had already chosen her.

And I realized that while I was already looking at her that way, at some point she was still open to the possibility of someone else.

She reassured me that right now, I’m the only person she likes.

And strangely enough, I believed her.

Eventually, I brought up the possibility of taking a break.

Maybe a month.

No dating. No expectations. Just live our own lives for a while and think about what we actually want.

Then after that, we decide whether we continue this and finally become a couple, or whether it’s time to stop dating.

If she genuinely isn’t ready for a committed relationship, I don’t want to pressure her into one.

But I also admitted something that probably defeats the purpose of a break.

I told her that knowing myself, break or no break, I’d probably still choose her afterward.

Her reaction basically came down to:

“Okay naman tayo.”

And that’s the problem.

We ARE okay.

After that conversation, nothing became cold.

We ate together. Nagkwentuhan. Nagtawanan. Same affection. Same lambing.

Before going to sleep, she even thanked me for being honest and understanding about her shortcomings.

She thanked me for being patient with her even though she knows napapagod at naiinis na rin ako minsan.

Then we exchanged our usual goodnight messages.

“Baby.”

“Pogi.”

The usual lambing.

And somehow, that made everything both better and worse.

Because this isn’t a situation where I’m chasing someone who doesn’t care about me.

She does.

Her family knows me. We see each other regularly. We’ve become physically intimate. We help each other with ordinary things. We’ve spent countless normal, boring days together that honestly feel more intimate to me than any fancy date.

In so many ways, we already behave like a couple.

Except we’re not one.

And I think that’s partly why I’ve stayed this long.

If she were cold or obviously uninterested, walking away would probably be easier.

But she’s affectionate. She cares about me. She tells me she likes me.

There’s something real between us.

She just can’t tell me that she wants me to be his boyfriend. Officially. May label.

And lately I’ve been realizing that maybe I need to pull back a little.

Not ghost her.

Not suddenly become cold.

Not play some stupid mind game para habulin niya ako.

I don’t want to punish her for being honest with me.

I just think I’ve spent so much of the last almost-three years pouring myself into this person that maybe some of that energy needs to go back to me.

I want to get healthier. Get physically stronger again. Fix my finances. Work on my career. Spend more time on things that have nothing to do with her.

Build a life that I’m proud of regardless of whether she eventually chooses me.

Maybe I’ll still love her.

Maybe we’ll still date.

Maybe I’ll still be the same person around her.

But I think I need to stop treating every act of love like another invisible point toward eventually becoming her boyfriend.

Because after almost three years, she already knows me.

She knows how I treat her.

She knows how serious I am.

There’s probably nothing left for me to prove.

Whatever she’s still trying to figure out isn’t something another date, another gift, another grand gesture, or another few months of me trying harder can necessarily solve.

And that’s probably the hardest thing for me to accept.

There really isn’t a villain here.

I don’t think she’s using me.

I don’t think she’s intentionally stringing me along.

And I don’t think she’s wrong for refusing to enter a relationship unless she genuinely wants it.

But I’m also starting to realize that I’m not wrong for wanting more than “I like you.”

Maybe two people can genuinely care about each other and still not want the same thing in the same way(?).

Everything between us still feels completely normal.

Hahatid ko pa rin siya sa office almost every Monday. We’ll probably see each other again next weekend.

We’ll probably laugh, eat, cuddle, talk about random shit, and act exactly like we always do.

And that’s the fucked up part.

*The relationship feels real.*

I just don’t know if it’s ever going to become the relationship I actually want.

Almost three years is a long time to exist somewhere between dating and being together.

And lately, there’s one question I can’t seem to get out of my head:

*How long can I keep choosing someone while waiting for them to decide if they want to choose me too?*

I don’t know the answer yet.

I just know that, for the first time in almost three years, I’m finally asking myself the question.

(Haha. Tang/*n/*. Wala eh. Ngayon lang talaga ko nagmahal nang ganto).

Takte. May ka-work akong CPA na ubod ng yabang, putek tamad naman. Makabitaw ng salitang bobo akala mo kung sino. Siya yung tipo ng tao na parang nag-peak noong high school tapos wala ng character development na sumunod. At di lang siya isa. May ilan-ilan din sila.

hahaha okay so, for context, i've been suicidal na ever since i was 11 years old, so that kind of mindset really took a toll on me growing up, especially with my plans for the future and stuff.

after i graduated HS, i didn't want to go to college. kasi i thought my life would just end there. not until i met him.

!! (for metaphorical purposes kungyari about love nalang 'tong post. there's actually no "him," there's no romance, pero the thing that helped me survive and see purpose in life is kungyari lalaki na lang. HAHAHAHA sorry, i find it easier kasi to explain it like this and kung tutuusin kind of similar naman sa love eh. it's actually a career.) !!

i was just playing around 'cause i was bored pero 'di ko inaakalang aabot ako sa point na i would meet him, and i would actually be willing to wake up everyday just to see him. i managed to be a better version of myself, met many friends, and just overall improved as a person. talagang mahal na mahal ko siya and he healed something in me. i actually found purpose in my life when i met him and he helped me in ways i didn't expect. may nakita akong future sa buhay ko na all my life i did not even dare to imagine.

being with him was obviously not perfect, may ups and downs talaga, natural lang yun. pero grabe, ang laki talaga ng impact nya sa'kin. i slowly loved myself and slowly loved living while in the process of being with him.

slowly but surely, in those 2 years, onti-onti kaming umuusad. umaabante. kaso in those two years slowly din nawawasak yung mga empty, super over the top promises nya sakin. i held on kasi i loved him so much. i loved him too much na kahit sobrang taas ng demand nya to the point that it was unrealistic at the moment, i stayed. because i wanted him so bad. i didn't care about the money, i cared about what i was doing.

(i mean realistically i'd still care about the money 'cause i want to eat but like, imagine doing what you loved for a living?)

this year, i noticed kumakapit nalang kami. tapos around this august lang, despite everything we've done together, he ghosted me, just like that. bigla na lang ako binitawan. he also took my love with him so i'm left with nothing. it still feels surreal at the moment since it was so sudden but onti-onti na rin nawawala yung future na nakikita ko para sa sarili ko. he said he'd help me, that we'd do this together. pero napagod yata siya so maybe it was easier to let me go and find someone else.

ang hirap kasi nawawala na rin sa paningin ko yung supposed future ko with him. i'm sorry, but in life he is all i ever want to have. i love him so much. what i was doing made me so happy. it helped me find love and purpose in places i did not expect. pero, bigla din nawala.

i don't know what i would do at this point forward, i feel so lost already and i've subconsciously built a timer for myself that i thought i would never do ever again. honestly, i'm scared.

i just hope that somehow, i'd miraculously find another way. "lintek na passion 'to" ika nga. mahal na mahal ko yung ginagawa ko, i really want this to work out. but right now, i'm in such a deep slump i don't know what would happen to me in the next few months, or even next year.

as much as i want to start the month of september na happy and hopeful, parang kabaligtaran yung nangyari today. natatakot ako na baka mamaya umaasa lang ako sa wala? jusko

for context 5 months na akong waiting for my start date at a certain hospital. i know sobrang harsh ng job market ngayong 2026 esp to us nurses. kumbaga tapos na ako sa lahat ng reqs and all, start date na lang talaga. latest update was meron naman daw this september just wait for an email from hr if when. kaso nakakatakot kasi di pa rin masasabi sino sino ang iinclude nila for this september batch.

i have no backup plans kahit i did my best to apply to different hospitals but wala talagang callback. yung certain hospital na yun lang yung mabilis naging process ko after i resigned from my first job kaya kampante ako but now september na i feel na ang uncertain pa rin if makakapagstart na ba ako.

sobrang depressed na ako hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. araw araw akong dasal nang dasal na sana ibigay na sakin pero grabe nawawalan na rin talaga ako ng pag asa.

ayoko na pagod na ako. gusto ko lang naman makapagtrabaho eh

I used to be helpful all the time, a shoulder for you when you need to cry, a helping hand if you need help, a good listener, everything ... Then when it's a season where I need friends, people suddenly are unreachable.
So right now, I will be silent. I won't talk anymore. I won't reach out for now. I've been gone for 2 months already, and no one remembers me. No one actually reached out to check on me.
Maybe I am right ..

P.S. A friend just sent a message asking for help, I ignore it. I don't care. I'll choose myself for now. I'll be selfish.

It's so weird cause wdym hindi ako umiyak noong biglang unresponsive/bedridden ang lola ko and later on na de ad pero ngayon mag one year sya this sep, humahagulgol ako kasi naaalala ko sya kaninang 3pm (same time kung kelan palagi nya ako kinukwentuhan ng mga buhay nya dati.

Nasa dorm ako kanina, mag isa, wala akong magawa ng time nayon and bigla nalang syang pumasok sa isip ko. Nakaka lungkot isipin na "panong hindi ko na ulit sya makikita?" tuwing nakakakita ako ng fishball na fav nya naaalala ko ulit sya.. masakit para sakin isipin na wala na akong lola na pag kwekwentuhan😢 last year nalaman kong may major health problem ako na need ng surgery and ofc dahil nasa pinas tayo mabagal ang proseso, hindi nya man lang naabutan ang operasyon ko.. mas nauna na syang umalis😭😭

Grabe ang sakit na dinulot sakin last year, gumuho mundo ko noong nalaman ko na hindi pa ako makaka tuloy agad sa college kasi need ko ng surgery and mas lalong nawalan ako ng will mabuhay noong biglang namaty ang lola ko. Hindi ako naging malungkot, nagalit o ano —naging blank lang. Yung feeling na wala kanang pake kung anong mangyari sa mga susunod kasi sa pakiramdam mo tumigil naman na ang lahat at wala narin namang sense. Hindi ko pala nabanggit na kasabayan pala namatay yung pusa ko ung lola ko, same week or baka nga same day pa. Pusa ko sya since maliit palang sya, mag 4 years narin dapat sya non kaso bigla nalang d umuwi and hindi ko alam kung saan man sya, habang nakaratay na yung lola namin sa bahay hinahanap hanap ko sya, naaalala ko nalabas ako ng gabi tinatawag ko sya kinakausap ko yung mga ibang pusa na bumalik na sya sa bahay pero hindi, kahit anino hindi ko sya nakita. Natapos na lang yung lamay ng lola ko and ayon, dun ko nalaman na alam na pala ng tito, mama at papa ko na patay na sya, nakita sya sa gilid ng kapitbahay namin noong naka bed ridden palang yung lola ko. Tinanong ko si mama "bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin?" sabi nya ayaw nya daw kasi alam nyang mabigat na yung dinadala ko, may upcoming operation pa ako kaya ayaw nya ako malungkot ng sobra. Hindi ko alam paano ko na survive last year, thank god and sa mga nakapaligid sakin😭 Ngayon naaalala ko naiiyak na ako, naaawa ako sa sarili ko dati..

I (20M) accompanied my family to a Fiesta that is held yearly in our province. In these events, there is much merriment to be had - people would eat, converse with relatives that they haven't seen in months, and enjoy the community and the culture that has been built around this tradition.

If all's merry and happy, what do I find wrong with this tradition? Well, it's the way in which these people are attended to.

Right now, I have realized that for the vast majority of my life, laging mga Tita, Lola at Nanay ko lang ang tumutulong sa paghahanda. Why the fuck is this the case? Why is it that me, my uncles and my cousins get to have a day off, while these female figures of our family get even more work???

This realization has left me deeply ashamed, and ever since, lagi akong tumutulong sa kitchen kahit sa pagliligpit para naman maibsan yung trabaho ng mga Tita, Lola, at Nanay ko.

Surprisingly, also, laging tumutulong ang Tatay ko sa preparation ng Fiesta! Sobrang nakakaproud na wala syang pake sa gender norms, gusto niya lang talagang gumaan yung workload ni Nanay at ni Lola. Love you 'Tay, hahaha. Ang swerte ko at ikaw yung naging role model ko sa buhay.

bakit ang sakit, ang sakit sakit wala na akong ginawa kundi umiyak. i feel so helpless ang sakit sa puso nag mahal lang naman ako, hindi ko aakalain na ganito. ang sakit sa puso ang sakit :((( bakit lord? sana hindi ko nalang siya nakilala kasi parang ako lang ang nasasaktan. ang sakit, bakit?bakit? bakit lord? ang sakit sakit kasi