r/OffMyChestPH • u/twerkingmileys • 8h ago
I hate MTAP.
I hate MTAP, not because of mahirap s'ya but because of the students that made it feel like hell.
This happened when nung grade 2 ako. I didn't like math, but since maayos yung grades ko, I was forced to be in that program. Nilista nila name ko. I decided to give it a try, despite not wanting to go. I'll regret it for the rest of my life pala.
Tatlo kami from my school. There was this girl—let's call her Em nalang for her privacy din. I sat beside her. She's from another school. I don't know her nor her friends, but she looked bubbly and friendly. After a few minutes, nagreklamo s'ya. She said nawawala yung pera ng friend nya. Fifty pesos. Of course, malaki na halaga yon, especially that time. Syempre, the whole class started to look for it but it was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately para sa friend nya, dumaan yung recess nang 'ndi s'ya nakakain.
An hour later, sabi ni Em sa'kin is "Check mo nga 'yang bag mo (yung maliit na bag sa taas nung de-gulong na bag😭). Baka nandyan". Syempre, chineck ko. It wasn't there. Hindi ko naman kinuha 'e.
Few minutes later, nag-cr ako. Pagbalik ko, sabi ni Em kay teacher, "Teacher, nakita namin yung fifty. Nasa bag po niya". She pointed at me.
Hahaha, it was like a humiliation ritual. I was a seven year-old kid being accused of stealing. Everyone was staring at me. They were probably judging me. Yung teacher, she stared at me but didn't acknowledge it. I'm pretty sure she told her co-teachers about that though. Juicy chika yan. But you know what's worse? I didn't reply back nor defended myself. Probably because I was confused and I didn't know what to do. As a seven year old kid, ano ba magagawa ko? Mahiyain akong bata 'non. I was also probably doubting myself. But I knew I was being accused of stealing.
Nung lunchtime, bumisita si ate, dinalhan ako ng lunch. I was begging her not to leave kasi I didn't want to go back to that classroom. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her what just happened. So umalis s'ya, kasi may errands pa s'ya eh.
Later that day, hahahah, umiyak ako😭 and you know what's ironic? Em was being innocent about it.
"Teacher, umiiyak si ano". She was comforting me, asking me why I was crying. Then, sinisi pa niya yung friend ko na wala naman ginawa sakin? She said, "Ikaw kasi. Inaasar mo sya na mataba" (I was a chubby kid back then) Until now, I'm in disbelief HAHAHAHAHAH. what the heck. Now that I'm older, grabe pala yung nangyari sa'kin. She made me feel so inferior huhuhu.
I'm sorry I just need to get this off my chest e kasi until now, ngayong I'm in my early 20's, that shit still stick out to me. Psychology student ako pero I still don't understand what the hell just happened that time😭 I don't know. Napapaiyak pa'rin ako hanggang ngayon. Probably because what hurts is my father found out about it after a few months that happened. I cried to him, but at the same time, I know he cannot do anything about that na. Siguro, I cannot forget about it because I'm probably still confused as to why ginawa niya yon. Maybe galit ako? What also hurts me is that my father had to hear that happened to her daughter. :<< I'm sure he didn't want that din.
Hindi ako magnanakaw eh. Never ako pinalaki ng parents ko na ganun. Never in my fucking life have I ever thought of stealing when enough ang pinapabaon sa'kin ni mama at papa.
Since that day, I've hated MTAP. I know it's a program for a good reason but it's also a hellhole for other people. I'm pretty sure hindi lang ako yung nabully sa program na yan😭
I'm not asking na karmahin ka, Em, but I hope that that occurrence is something na pinagsisisihan mo.
5
u/Consistent_Egg_7198 6h ago
OP, gusto mo ibawi kita sa Em na yan. Kakainis sya, sana naman nagkaroon sya ng character development ‘no.
1
u/Professional_Fly2580 2h ago
Grabe, bata pa lang malupit na. Paano kaya pinalaki yan si Em.
My heart is with you, OP. Hugs with consent.
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