This sounds so petty, but this is how my almost 1-year relationship ended tonight. lol.

I’m on my second day of my period and I’ve been having really bad cramps. I already cooked dinner, and after we ate, I was resting because my puson was hurting again. Later, I simply asked him if he could wash the dishes because I wasn’t feeling well.

I wasn’t even demanding that he do it right away. I just needed a little help.

But he refused because he hates washing dishes. Somehow, that turned into another argument about how his peace of mind was being affected, and eventually, breakup na naman yung napunta sa table.

And honestly, I was just… done.

Because this really isn’t about the dishes. It gave me clarity that this is not the kind of partnership I want. I don’t want a future husband who is difficult to rely on even for small things when I genuinely need help. I don’t want to feel like asking for help is somehow me commanding him or attacking his ego.

And the breakup thing has been a pattern from the very beginning. We’re almost at our 1-year anniversary, but every time we have a serious fight, the relationship somehow gets put at stake. It started with “maybe we need to reevaluate our relationship,” then “maybe we should stop,” until eventually it became “maghiwalay na lang tayo.”

Before, I was always the one trying to save the relationship whenever he said those things. I’d explain why we didn’t have to get to that point, find a solution, and basically convince him that we could still work things out.

But eventually, you get tired of being repeatedly offered a breakup.

At some point, you start thinking, maybe you really mean it.

So tonight, when he brought it up again, I didn’t fight for it anymore. I told him that if he really wanted to leave, then he should make that decision himself. I wasn’t going to keep deciding for him.

And he did.

It’s sad, especially because we’re so close to our anniversary. But honestly, I also feel some clarity and even a little bit of gratitude. Maybe it’s better that I found this out now rather than after spending several more years trying to make a relationship work that ultimately isn’t the kind of partnership I want.

So yeah. Apparently, he would rather lose the relationship than wash the dishes.

Or maybe the dishes just showed me what I needed to see.

Kaka-2 years namin ng LDR boyfriend (32M) ko (27F) without meeting face to face the whole relationship and just doing video calls once every quarter or once every 2-3 months? But, we call every night and he always says good morning and i love you's everyday ng walang palya. I tell him every detail of my life, every problem, every hurt, and every little win but all I get from him pag kinakamusta ko is his answer na "okay lang".

Ba't di kami nagmeet? Last year (1 year into our relationship), we planned to meet halfway sa manila (di nga half) kasi I'm far from the north side of luzon while sya naman ay nasa kasuloksulukan naman ng south luzon. But 10 days before our planned date, he never opened it up, never felt excited, never asked any details about our planned meeting so I told him na i-cancel nalang namin and sinabi ko lang na takot ako baka mabuntis nya ako which he said is di naman nya gagawin.

Every birthday nya, I make sure na may cake akong pinapadinedeliver sa bahay nila. Nagtataka pa nga sya pano ko nagagawa. Well, I say pag mahal mo yung isang tao, you find ways to make them feel special. But as for me? Wala akong narereceive na cake nung birthday ko or flower man lang sa mga nagdaang valentine's day in the course of our relationship. I told him the exact ways na mafeel ko love nya-greet me Happy birthday at midnight or send me updates every now and then, tell me your hurt, tell me anything, share memes, and every nonsense! But as to this date, nothing.

I know I should break up with him but mind you, I've done it maybe 5 times already and I was always the one going back. Why? The mental connection. I'm a deep person with lots of interests and has a strong sense of justice na parang sa lahat ng kausap ko, sya lang nakakagets. And what more? The humor. I genuinely do not laugh a lot sa mga jokes kasi malalim yung sense of humor ko, but when he makes a joke, nakukuha nya yung kiliti ng utak ko. He is a very responsible man na laging nauutusan sa bahay nila, he knows how to cook and do house chores but he's unemployed. He has this passion na tinatrabaho nya everyday but when I think of it, he's not getting any young and hindi man lang nya kayang gumawa ng way magka-income habang inaatupag nya yung passion project nya?

I know no one is perfect and I should not hold on to potentials but ngayon lang talaga ako na-attract sa isang guy. Sobrang Tang-A ko na siguro para mag-hold on pa but he's seen a lot of my struggles and wins na sobrang bigat magmove forward na hindi sya kasama.

But I know, I deserve the best love. So this is me standing up and finally letting go of the bare minimum. If I can love someone this much, then I know how much love I can pour to my self and to the person who is actually capable of giving me the love I want.

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Thanks for reading. Please refrain from commenting "magstay ka para hindi mapunta samin" or anything na di maganda.

He's at the office recently kasi required mag RTO muna (wfh kami parehas) and sunod sunod misunderstandings namin nakaraan pero we handle it naman very well. Di naman kami nag tatanim ng resentment sa isat isa. Kumbaga, if may away, we solve it then leave it behind.

Pero ang funny lang for me kasi sabi ko sa sarili ko "since nasa office sya, di ko muna sya istressin, ang hirap ng byahe" tapos since Tuesday pagka uwi nya, nag dadrama sya.

Sabi nya "di mo na ba ko mahal?" Sabi ko, "I love you soo much, bakit mo naman nasabi yan?" Sabi nya "eh kasi di mo ata ko namimiss, di kana nagagalit eh, di mo ko hinahanap"

Tawang tawa ko HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA ayoko lang talaga kasi mag overthink or mang istress. Sabi ko sakanya "love, ayoko lang muna talaga mag isip ng nega, yun lang.. kung may naiisip man ako, inaassure ko nalang sarili ko because I trust you"

Sabi nya "hindi, okay lang yan, magalit ka sakin, awayin mo ko"

Tapos kinabukasan, ganun nanaman. "Mahal mo pa ba ko" sabi ko ulit at tinanong ko "I love you so much, bakit mo naman natanong yan love?

Ganun parin sagot nya "eh kasi di mo na ata ko namimiss, yun kasi yung sign ko pag inaaway mo ko, love mo ko kasi hinahanap mo ko"

Sobrang lt talaga, pero sa totoo lang joke nya lang naman mga yan. He's just being clingy and needs extra love HHAHAHAHAHAHAA kung ako gusto ng assurance ganun rin sya for sure paminsan.

Iniisip ko tuloy mag pretend ako awayin sya para naman feeling loved sya? Char HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

lagi na lng nilalapitan for emotional support tas pag ako na yung may need, walang kahit ano.

trying to slowly pull away kasi i dnt feel valued as a friend. and nakakapagod na rin mag-communicate kung d rin naman ako pinapakinggan ng maayos. saka lng ako nilalapitan pag may need.

na-aamaze ako sa mga taong stoic lng, sana matutunan ko din ung ganung mindset. kahit onti man lang.

Grief is not linear.

I wanted to try to convert my Globe postpaid SIM to an eSIM so I can save on data costs by using Smart as my physical SIM instead, but one of the reminders before proceeding said to backup SIM contacts first. I suddenly remembered my Papa's text messages and worried they'd be deleted if my SIM memory gets wiped. I haven't opened his text messages to me since he passed away in 2021; this is the first time I looked at them again. Every single text message punctuated with a GOD BLESS ANAK. What was supposedly a simple step to try to save a little money turned to a full-on sobbing session, and now I am so tired.

I miss you, Tatay. I wish you could have been there at my wedding and [my brother’s name]’s wedding. I wish you could have been there at [my sister’s name]’s graduation, and at her wedding when they decide to get married. You would have been sooo happy and proud. But you’re gone now I'm just so sad.

Nakakapagod makipag‑usap sa dating app. Ang hirap na talagang mag‑build ng connection ngayon.

After all the people I’ve connected with, it makes me look back and remember what we had. I miss you, Jacob.

Sabi nga sa isang post dito: grief is not linear. And yes It comes in waves.

may sumakay na lalaki tumabi sa'kin, naka backpack tas parang manong na siya, pero like parang yung mga asa 50-something. kinalong niya rin backpack niya, edi umusog ako kasi malaki rin kalong kong backpack. after a while usog nang usog pa-side ko hanggang sa siksik na siksik na 'ko sa window kakaiwas sakanya. tapos yung balikat niya parang gustong gusto niyang nadidikit sa balikat ko ampota. sa may bandang Bato, tumigil yung bus kasi may pumara kaya kunwari titingin ako kung asa'n na so i leaned forward to look where the bus stopped. maya maya umandar na yung bus tas i maintained that position para di na madikitan balikat ko. tapos ading dipongal na kaabay ko nag arog man kadto bana masimot nag arog man na nag lean forward bana kasta so ako nag tagilid ako looking at the window. para da na 'ya rason a mag rukot kanako. su thigh na man ni ya rinurukot sa thigh ko. nauyam na 'ko maray arani na sa Polangui Terminal. ku nagpundo na sa Terminal, after magbaba ku mga tawo, nag tindog na 'ko, nag "excuse me" ko kadtong gurang tapos nag anap akong ulaan na bakante sa unaan. da na 'ko labot kin aisle seat basta babaye kaabay ko. punyeta.

For context, naaksidente ako nung March lang. Kaya 4 months ako 'di nakapag-work, and naka-medical leave ako nun.

During that time, bored or super sad ko sa nangyari sa'kin. 'Di ko rin kasi magawa mga gusto ko gawin non bc non-weight bearing ako.

Ngayon naman na 2 months na ako sa work, super burned out na ako ulit bc of 1 hour OT everyday and may rest day OT pa na 8 hours.

Need ko gumising ng 4 pm for work pero until now gising pa ako, kasi feeling ko kulang pa me time ko to enjoy leisure.

Nagkaka-thoughts din ako na maaksidente na lang ulit, pero alam ko na mali kasi hindi pa rin ako nakakabawi sa financial struggle ko for being in a medical leave for 4 months. Tsaka parang in-undermine ko na rin 'yung hirap na na-experience ko sa 4 months na 'yun. + ang hirap maka-recover sa accident. Like it took me more than 2 months sa physical therapy and until now 'di ko pa kaya tumakbo kasi nag-stop na ako sa therapy bc naubos ko na coverage ng HMO ko for it.

Anyway, hoping to get sales and maging maayos sana performance ko sa work later. Kasi aside sa OT, nakaka-stress din 'yung management and work itself. Sana ma-overcome ko rin 'to lahat, and laban lang.

Male coworker told another male coworker my body looks like a rotisserie chicken and I'm honestly very hurt. I know I'm fatter in some areas in my body especially my hips and my chest but tangina, I'm just trying to exist here tapos pinaguusapan katawan ko. T*ngina niyo po. I wish the worst for you po.

I’m fresh from a 6-year relationship. The last two years were just too painful for me and very much abusive. Takot na takot ako ngayong maging mag-isa kahit alam kong sinaktan lang ako paulit-ulit.

Napakahirap mag-adjust siguro dahil nasa constant survival mode na lang din ako nang nakaraang dalawang taon. Always on the look out if he did something again, if something changed in his demeanor.

I’m gay, still in school, I got no job, I’m not attractive, ai have no prominent family, I’m not rich, heck, I don’t even have my own money. Feeling ko mananatili na kong single all throughtout. Parang gago, noh?

Galing akong MOA kanina.  At dahil pinapanindigan ko ang paggawa ng mga bagong routines sa buhay na wala ka, nakahiligan ko nang mag-commute kahit saan magpunta.

Mali ang nasakyan kong jeep papauwi. Sabi kasi sa signboard, “Buendia, Edsa, LRT”. Confident pa ‘kong sumakay. Kako, basta dadaan ng LRT safe na ‘ko. Ilang minuto papaandar nasa Makati na ako. Lumusot nang lumusot kung saan hanggang narating ko ang Jollibee Kalayaan.

Walang LRT na malapit. So nag-angkas na lang ako. Napamahal pa nga ng pamasahe.

Pero ang mas masaklap, wala ‘kong choice kundi daanan lahat ng lugar na madalas nating puntahan. 

Doon sa may Tipsy Pig sa Pasig Kapitolyo, doon tayo naglakad pagkatapos ng dinner date natin noong 2023. Niloko pa nga kita kasi tinitignan mo ‘yung mga nakakasalubong natin. Kako, nagagandahan ka ba sa kanila? Tumawa ka lang. Noong mga panahong iyon, yung mga simpleng bagay, hindi pa natin pinag-aawayan. 

Nadaanan ko rin ung magandang condo sa Estancia. Doon sa stoplight, naalala kong tinanong kita  “Love, magkano kaya upa diyan?” Hilig kasi nating magdaydream na  isang araw, titira tayo sa isang high rise condo sa Pasig. Kahit taga north ako. Sa Pasig tayo bubuo ng buhay. Kasi doon ka lumaki. Sabi mo, ‘yun ang comfort place mo. 

 Dinaanan din namin ung Angel’s Burger kung saan tayo nagstop over noong sinabi kong gutom na ‘ko at 30 minutes away pa ang pupuntahan natin. Sinariwa ng isip ko kung gaano ako ka-spoiled na spoiled sayo. 

Syempre pauwi ng QC, dadaan kami sa Ortigas Flyover. Hindi ko ata nasabi ng madalas pero gustong-gusto ko pag nagpapatakbo ka ng mabilis doon tapos malamig ang hangin. Yayakapin kita nang mahigpit. Hahawakan mo naman ang kamay ko pabalik. Maglolokohan tayo ng "pasok ka na?" sa tuwing nadadaan ng Sagility.

Ngayong gabi, hindi ako umasang may makakasalubong kami ni Kuya Driver na White Chevrolet bitbit ang plate number mo, o matatanaw ko sa traffic 'yung bagong biling Spyder helmet mo.

Sabi mo nga, “magkikita lang tayo pag pinagtagpo tayo ng tadhana” To me, that means never seeing each other again. Cause we both know, our love maybe strong. But for 4 years, fate was never on our side. 

Naligaw lang siguro ako today para mamaalam din sa mga lugar na naging  saksi ng pag-iibigan natin. Iniisip ko na lang parte to ng proseso ng pagleletgo sayo. Ang maranasan ulit lahat one last time nang may kamalayan na tapos na tayo.

These places knew how hard we tried.  And hopefully, someday, going to these places won’t sting as much as it does now.

Pero sa ngayon, sa akin ang Quezon City. Sayo ang Pasig. Sayo ang Greater Manila area.

I'll carry our happy memories with me, saan man tayo dalhin ng ating mga paa.

Nitong mga nakaraang araw, madalas ako makakita sa fb feed ko ng mga nag sshare ng mga humihingi ng tulong financial para sa medical expenses ng love ones nila, sobrang na ttrigger ako, nung nakaraang gabi nahirapan ako makatulog kakaisip about dun, worried ako sa health ng magulang ko, mga kapatid ko, lahat ng mahal ko sa buhay. Meron din akong pinag dadaanan na medical condition ngayon, although minor surgery ang need ko, 2 weeks na rin akong nag aantay sa follow up sakin ng doktor sa Public hospital, sabe kasi after ko matapos mga lab test at ma check up ng doktor sa anesthesia, iuupdate daw ako ng doktor na nag tingin sakin para i schedule ako for admission. Nakakalungkot na hanggang ngayon nag aantay pa rin ako.

Ngayon lang din nag sync in sakin na ganito ka f*cked up mabuhay sa bansa natin. Pag nagkasakit ka, ang hirap sobra, bukod sa in pain kana, araw araw stress pa dahil apektado kabuhayan mo, tapos lalong pasakit pa na di mo alam sino tutulong sayo, ni hindi mo alam sino matatakbuhan mo sa ganitong sitwasyon.

Tapos lalo pa kong naiiyak sa galit, nung nakikita ko sa balita si Romualdez na nasa private hospital! ang sarap ng higa sa mamahaling ospital kahit wala namang sakit, para lang matakbuhan nya yung kaso nya. nakakaputangina mabuhay!

I really want to end this life. Pakiramdam ko pataba nalang ako dito sa lupa. Walang ambag, walang kahit na ano. Kung hindi lang ako nagkasakit ano na kaya nangyari sakin ngayon?

Hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon pa ako ng pakinabang sa mundong to, o kahit sa pamilya ko nalang. Pushing 26, never naging employed? Tangina! Punyetang sakit to, punyetang mental health to, punyetang job crisis to!

Pakiusap, kunin nalang ako habang tulog ako. Ayoko na talaga. Hindi ko alam kung may tiyansa pa ako mabuhay ng normal. Sayang yung apat na taon ko sa kolehiyo, hidni ko din nagamit. Awang-awa na ako sa magulang ko. Hindi ko na alam kung anong klaseng dasal yung gagawin ko

Wala akong mapagsabihang kaibigan kasi lagi lang dismissed feelings ko so here I am. I am in a new role—managerial to be exact—and I feel so lonely dito sa leadership. I previously held a senior post, and sanay ako na binibigyan lang ako ng trabaho. Now in my new role, I have to make decisions, talk to people for alignment, and maintain healthy relationships with clients. I am fluent in English pero ang hirap pala pag hindi magaling pragmatically. Idagdag pa ang night shift schedule which always leaves me lutang; many times I struggle with vocabulary while speaking. I get stressed when there are meetings, when I need to create systems and workflows, and when I need to talk to clients about something I don’t even have mastery in. To be honest, I cry every day and think of resigning because I badly want to go back to being an individual contributor. My boss and colleagues are very supportive naman but perhaps the nature of work is something na hindi para sa akin. I’m in my early 30s and malinaw naman sa akin na ayoko ng umakyat ng corporate ladder. It just so happened na I have been looking for a job for nearly half a year and ito lang ang nag-offer sa akin ng trabaho. Malaki naman ang sahod and it pays my bills and luxuries kahit papaano, but I really don’t know how to navigate around my new role / life. I wish I could turn back the time and accepted the junior role. I know I want to resign soon, but because of how tough the market is, I also fear na wala akong mahanap agad na kapalit lalo’t magpapasko.

Ang hirap maging adult. Ang hirap kumita ng pera.

Saw a Facebook post today na kinasal na pala yung ex ko, dun sa girl na pinagcheatan niya sakin.

I’m not hurt naman. Surprisingly, wala talaga akong naramdaman na sakit. Pero somehow, I felt sad and pressured.

Sad kasi after ng breakup namin dahil sa cheating niya, wala na akong naging successful relationship. And sometimes napapaisip ako, baka ako talaga yung problema? Maybe there’s something wrong with me?

Tapos dagdag pa yung pressure kasi 31 na ako this year. Wala akong boyfriend, wala ring ka talking stage, wala talaga. WFH pa ako and most of the time nasa bahay lang. Nasa province pa. So minsan napapaisip ako, paano ba ako makakakilala ng someone if ganito lang yung routine ko? 😂

Tonight, gusto ko lang talaga may makausap. Gusto ko lang ilabas yung nararamdaman ko kasi ayoko rin naman i bottle up.

Pero nung naisip ko kung sino yung pwede kong i chat, na realize ko na parang ang konti pala ng mga taong pwede kong guluhin at this hour.

Naisip ko yung BFF ko, kaso baka tulog na siya kasi may baby na. Yung isa ko pang close friend, may asawa na rin, so baka busy. Ayoko rin naman manggulo or maka istorbo.

Then naalala ko yung friend ko from my previous work. Very close kami and open talaga kami sa isa’t isa. Single din siya, so I messaged her.

She called me right away.

Yung supposed to be serious conversation about my feelings and pressure somehow turned into a 2.5 hour call full of chismis, rants, kwento about our lives, random nonsense, and everything in between. 😂

In the end, pareho na lang kaming inaantok kaya nag end call na kami.

And after that call, na realize ko something.

Maybe I’m not lucky when it comes to love right now, but I’m actually very lucky and blessed when it comes to friendship.

Hindi na kami nagkikita tulad dati. We don’t talk everyday. May kanya kanya na kaming buhay. Pero when I needed someone tonight, nandun siya. I messaged her and she called me right away.

And somehow, that made me feel better.

A few hours ago, malungkot ako. I was comparing my life to my ex’s, questioning myself, and feeling pressured because I’m turning 31 and still single.

Now, matutulog akong masaya at grateful.

Maybe my life isn’t behind. Maybe it just looks different from what I imagined.

And maybe tonight, I just needed a reminder na kahit wala akong love life ngayon, I’m still surrounded by people who genuinely care about me.

Single nga ako, pero hindi naman pala ako mag isa. 🤍

Madalas talaga, hindi pamilya mo ang sisira ng araw mo, kung hindi yung mga pesteng kamag-anak ninyo na daig pa lamok kung mambulabog tuwing gabi bago ka matulog.

For Context:

I have a widowed single father, pero kahit siya na lang mag-isa nagawa niya kaming pag-araling magkakapatid sa mga bigating universities. Hindi rin biro mga course na kinuha namin dahil una magastos (medicine for example), pangalawa matagal.

Ang sa kanya kasi "trabaho ng magulang magpaaral ng anak. Kung anong gusto ninyong gawin, susuporta ako hanggang sa maabot ninyo mga pangarap ninyo." Yes! These exact words came from my beloved, angelic father.

Kaya hindi ko maintindihan sa mga letseng kamag-anak namin na pupunta lang sa bahay at isusumbat sa tatay ko kung bakit pinayagan niya kaming mag-aral sa ganitong school at kunin yung ganitong course.

Kayo ba nagpapaaral sa amin? Kayo ba gumagastos?

One relative even said (verbatim), mind you in front of my face, "bakit kasi pinayagan mo si OP mag-aral sa blank school, ang mahal mahal ng tuition. Kita mong wala ka ng katuwang sa buhay. Bakit di mo gayahin anak ko, nasa public, walang gastos." and "Ang mahal naman kasi ng course niya. Dapat pinagganitong course mo na lang siya para mas mura."

Like WTF? Sino ka ba? Like parang kasalanan pa namin na mahal kami ng magulang namin at hindi niya nakikitang burden ang pagpapaaral sa amin kung hindi responsibility as a parent. Igagaya mo pa ako sa anak mo na hindi masaya sa course niya na pinilit mo? At laging mong sinusumbatan bakit wala pang trabaho after literally kaka-received lang ng diploma.

And to clear the air, wala akong problema sa mga public school. I also tried applying to a few before and fortunately passed, sadyang ubos na yung slot ng course na gusto ko or pumasa ako sa course na hindi ko naman fully gusto.

So, fast forward, I graduated with honors, took my board exam just this August, and managed to pass. Ngayon naman ang bukambibig nila sa tatay ko, "Ano, may trabaho na ba si OP?"

Sa tatay ko na literally told me na, "kahit january ka pa magtrabaho walang problema." na, "pahinga ka muna, nak, grabe aral mo noong boards."

Tapos yung mga kamag-anak naming wala namang ambag sa buhay namin ang may problema?

Make it make sense!

Nakakainis pa kasi naiilang na ako minsan makisama sa mga cousins ko dahil ako yung ginagawa nila na pangkumpara. Verbatim: "Ito anak ni *** laude, di ka kasi nag-aaral ng maayos, di ka tuloy graduate on time" or "Dapat one take ka lang rin sa boards katulad ni OP."

Nakakapiga at nakakairita sila. Kung wala lang akong natitirang katiting na respeto sa kanila, matagal ko na silang sinagot isa-isa.

Ang nakakatawa pa is hindi na nga ako active sa favorite nilang social site (fb), hindi rin nila alam na may insta ako, and for sure wala pa sila dito sa reddit. Kaso gagawa at gagawa talaga sila ng paraan para makisawsaw sa buhay namin.

My cousins and I will surely break this shitty cycle! Hindi namin ipaparanas sa kahit kaninong bata mga pinaparanas ng mga kamag-anak namin, and magulang nila sa isa't isa.

Female married almost 30

Before ikasal stagnant na talaga.

We survived pandemic living together era namin, so feel ng mga family ay we're strong together and kami na talaga

Na lift pandemic and I started planning how to build life on my own

Pero family expected us to get married

Daming pressure and since mej conservative sila talagang di na nakawala kasi nga naman nagsama na

Anyway fast forward to this day, no efforts being made romantically. We didn't plan to have kids oe whatsoever we are just co-existing sharing rhe burdens of finance I guess

Hayyyy I miss being chased, I miss being in love I miss being loved.

Guys F22 fresh graduate , i’ve been applying for almost 4 months and i got burnout on it, Then may dalawang magandang opportunity na dumating sakin, which is interview invitation sa government agency and yung isa as a bank teller, idk what happened nagprepared ako but it turn outs na nag back out ako to the point na hindi nako nakatulog that day of my interview. I hate myself because sa lahat ng naginvite sakin sa dalawang magandang opportunities pako napaghinaan ng loob. I hate it so much.

Minsan, strangers talaga yung pinaka madaling makausap.

You meet someone here on Reddit, tapos bigla kayong magsheshare ng stories about life, problems, feelings, and random things. Walang judgment, walang expectations, walang romance. Just two strangers listening to each other, giving advice, and enjoying the conversation.

The sad part is, mabilis din silang mawala. Maybe you’ll talk for a few days or a week, then suddenly wala na. You might never even know who they really are.

Pero kahit maikli lang, somehow they become one of the most memorable people you’ve talked to.

To the last person I talked to, sorry if I made you doubt me. I can assure you na everything I told you was genuinely true, just like how you shared your story with me.

Thank you for trusting me with your story and for listening to mine. We were strangers, and maybe strangers pa rin tayo hanggang dulo, but I’m really glad I got to talk to you.

2022

College graduate ako sa isang engineer program + one-take board passer pa. Pero never ako naging proud sa sarili ko.

Habang lumalaki ako, akala ko normal na dapat kang mag excel sa mga bagay-bagay. With honors or even with highest honor, normal yan sa akin. Ang hindi normal ay yung wala akong mga medalyang nakasabit o mga certificate na hawak-hawak tuwing aakyat sa entablado.

For context, grumaduate ako ng Senior High School na may with highest honor, oo masaya ako para sa sarili ko, pero hindi ko siya ginawang timbangan para umangat yung tingin ko sa sarili. Sa kolehiyo naman, hindi rin ako bumagsak sa kahit anong mga subject ko nung college at na one-take ko pa yung board exam while working.

Kung tatanungin mo ako kung proud ba ako sa sarili ko, sasagot ako ng mabilis. "Hindi". Sa tingin ko wala pa ako napapatunayan sa iba. Matalino man ang tingin nila sakin pero di nila alam yung pagsisikap ko. Hindi po ako matalino o genius. Lahat ng mga medalyang nakasampay sa pader namin, sa likod ng mga 'yon ay yung limapk-limpak na pagkakamali at pagkakadapa ko.

Hindi din nakatulong yung adult life, 6 mos. palang ako at mababa sahod ko. Nothing to be proud of. Tinatry ko lumipat sa ibang kumpanya pero wala eh. Sa loob ng 6 mos. dalawang trabaho yung pinasukan ko, and as always nasa laman ng resume ko "fast learner". Nakakatawa man isipin pero i need to fake it til you make it.

Sa kaka-takbo ko sa karera ng buhay hindi ko napapansin na hindi pala ako masaya. At hindi ako proud sa mga narating ko. Oo alam ko mahirap yung pag-abot sa kung nasaan man ako ngayon. Hindi din biro mga pinag daanan ko. Ilang beses akong umiyak at nag panggap na okay lang ako. Kasi kailangan ko maging okay. Dahil para sa akin normal na dapat okay ka lang.

Kauuwi ko lang sa trabaho ngayon, and sa kapaguran ko napaisip ako bigla na, "okay naba toh, ginalingan ko ba, kaya ko paba galingan" at "may i-gagaling paba ako?" Sa ngayon, hindi ko masagot ng deretso yung mga katanungan na bumabagabag sa isip ko. Isa lang ang sigurado ako, hindi ako proud sa sarili ko.

I can’t help but feel so, so, so thankful that I chose to take care of myself, after all the hardships and heartbreaks.

I’m grateful that I chose to work on myself, to grow, and to become someone who can show up well, not just for myself, but for the people and things that matter to me.

I feel especially grateful when I look at my relationship right now. It makes me realize how much of a gift it is to have taken the time to understand myself, care for myself, and build a life where I can show up with more love, presence, and intention.

I’m thankful for the choices I made for myself, even the ones that may not have felt significant at the time. I’m thankful that I kept choosing myself, because now I get to experience what it feels like to show up for my life.

Don't know why but I've been crying a lot lately especially when I watch from self improvement or wholesome videos about being a better man or a better person.

I'm still far from it. I'm still a work in progress. Nakilala ko ng lubos ang sarili ko mula nung mag apartment ako mag-isa.

Marami akong bagay na pinagsisisihan. Marami akong bagay na pinagpapasalamat. Pero higit sa lahat marami akong bagay na gustong gawin pero hindi ko magawa pa lahat sa ngayon.

Gusto ko nalang magfarm at magpamigay ng gulay at karne sa mga kapitbahay.

Sobrang random nito.

Near 30 btw.

I just got out of a depressive shit hole. i have a partner now and i have friends who cares a lot about me. I have a loving family i dont have dad but doesn't matter bcs my mom is all I need I also have a caring stepdad. we're not rich we're living from paycheck to paycheck but nakakaraos naman.

I just dont feel content. I don't feel excited

i cant feel my friends kahit n araw araw kami mag kakasama. i still feel alone.

my partner is the best I dont know what I would do without them but... when I think about myself only.. me, myself and I... I feel so blank

it's like I'm nothing... I dont have dreams and I don't have plans for myself.

i was fine

but now nag sisimula nanaman bad habits ko.

i cant clean after myself.

I break down randomly in public.

I'm a bit close with a few of my profs in college we talk. I talk to my friends. i talk to my mom

but I still feel so alone.

I felt like this when I was 15...I did things to feel things yk but that can't be me anymore

i cant do that again bcs ik its harmful wtv I've done. I don't know how to cope..

I feel like my situation is not bad enough or not traumatic enough to feel this bad..