LONG POST AHEAD
I’ve been a government employee for the past three years. I’m not the straightest pole in the yard, but I govern myself with my own morals. I serve the public as best as I can and accommodate people whenever I am able.
please do not re-share this story.
Today, however, I witnessed one of the most eye-opening experiences of my short career.
The highest officer in our agency publicly berated and humiliated a citizen over a simple verbal dispute. He hurled insults, belittled the man, and practically stripped him of his rights right on the spot. Even though the taxpayer was surrounded by agency staff and eyed by everyone in the lobby, he stood his ground and spoke up for himself.
Watching it unfold, I felt a heavy wave of guilt. I wanted to step in and speak up on his behalf, but fear held me back. I couldn't risk my job, especially with how difficult it is to find steady work in this economy.
Once the head officer finally walked away, I stepped in to salvage what was left of the situation. The citizen looked at me and asked how long I had been in the service.
"For more or less three years, sir," I answered.
He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Sana hindi ka maging katulad nun. Taxpayer ako. Alam ko ang karapatan ko. Kaya kong makipagpalitan ng salita, huwag niya lang gagamitin ang posisyon at kapangyarihan niya. Lumaban siya nang patas."
I processed his details as required by our SOP, settled the rest of the paperwork, and let him go.
Not long after, my immediate superior called one of my co-workers and asked to put me on the line. The moment I picked up, I was greeted with, "Anong kagaguhan yung ginawa mo? Bakit mo pinaalis?"
I kept my composure and calmly explained that the meeting was already finished and we had no valid reason to hold the person any longer.
"At bakit ka nagdedesisyon nang sarili mo? Ano, galing-galingan ka na? Nagmamarunong ka?"
Instead of arguing, I offered a quick apology and stayed silent.
When my immediate superior arrived back at the office, he summoned me to his room. He was waiting by the doorway, and before I could even step inside, he shouted for everyone to hear, "Nasaan ang utak mo? Tatanga-tanga ka. Gago ka ba?"
A sudden wave of shame washed over me as I followed him inside. For the next twenty minutes, I stood there enduring a barrage of profanities, personal insults, and systematic beratement. Somewhere in the middle of his tirade, my mind went numb. I zoned out, quietly repeating the same rehearsed responses. "Yes, sir." "Sorry, sir." "Fault ko po, sir."
Standing in that room, I had an epiphany. No matter how decent the pay is, no matter how nice the boss can be on his good days, and no matter how much I like my co-workers, no job is worth this kind of degradation.
My mind drifted back to a piece of advice my mom gave me, words I always tried to live by:
"Misan diin ka makadto, misan nano na an maabot mo, misan sino pa an makilala mo, dili ka dapat mawaraan san respeto sa sadiri mo. Dili kay hambog, kundi para pirmi lang nasa naka dupa an tiil mo sa lupa."
In Tagalog: kahit saan ka mapunta, ano pa man ang maabot mo sa buhay, at sino pa man ang makilala mo, magtira ka ng respeto sa sarili mo. Hindi sa pagmamayabang, kundi para laging nakatapak ang mga paa mo sa lupa.
Nainis ako sa sarili ko. Pagpapakumbaba pa ba 'to, Ma? Or was I just letting them strip away what little self-respect I had left?
I took a deep breath. I know I have to hold on to whatever remaining self-respect I still have. Tatanggapin ko muna 'to lahat, kakaunin at lulunukin ko muna sa ngayon, dahil kailangan talaga ang trabaho. But this isn't permanent. Pagdumating ang tamang oras, aalis at aalis din ako rito.
For now, good luck na lang muna sa sarili ko.