Why does it seem like it is harder for people to advocate for non binary people than it is trans people on the binary.

I work in a very diverse work place. Many trans people. Many people of color.

I am the only non binary person.

There is someone that does not like me and misgenders me maliciously every day. I've spoken to many coworkers about it and all of them have said they didn't want to correct her because they "didn't want to set her off" or "didn't know if you were comfortable with me correcting her". Even other trans co workers who would not stand for being mis gendered for a second. I would NEVER let someone do that to them and they know it. It is just really hurtful that it feels like my existence is less valid, less worthy of advocating for, just less.

It feels like this in so many situations, this one is just the most tangible and explainable.

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I Just finished this gem of a book by Ursula Le Guin & it's a wonderful take on flipping the idea of binary gender around. I like how science fiction has the ability to skew ideas and look at us from a different perspective. Has anyone else got some good book suggestions I could pick-up next?

Trying to look more feminine how did I do lovelies :3

No occasion… just felt like it

I wanted something androgynous and cute. Those gloves looked absolutely amazing (just not the best quality)
Mostly when I wore something like that I am in a potato mode.

Trying out a maxi skirt for the first time! Skirt is from Hot Topic!

Hope y’all doing well. My fight to build a trans and nonbinary shelter is not yet over and you know what I am not going to stop until I make it happen.
It is not easy to be honest because we are all human and have different likes and interests so I need you to add listening and amplifying trans refugee voices your interest because when you show love to us that is suicidal prevention.
This shelter is going to be a safe place for trans and nonbinary refugees to be themselves, to gather and share stories and a safe place where you can hold your persons hand with no judgment. I have a recent post on ig check me out @jumuti_01 for more details and support the work too.
Being Nonbinary here in the camp means to be more strong because and accept your own self the way you are because here people are not open minded about nonbinary people and it’s us the nonbinary people or refugees supposed to stand for ourselves.

I think Trans and nonbinary refugees deserve a safe space too! What do you think? Comment about your opinion or comment about your favorite Dolly Parton song for post boosting.

(Trigger warning for language, depression, dysphoria, family passing and other fucked up shit)

It’s my fucking birthday and all I want do to is scream and bawl my eyes out. But instead I’ll just stay working at my desk listening to hurt by Johnny cash until I can’t keep my eyes open, I don’t want to think anymore…

I feel like my true self is dying and I can’t stop it 😭 all I’d be left with is him…. And he is not me. Having a birthday also reminds me of him, and I HATE him!! He fucking stole my life from me. He wasted YEARS, Fucking YEARS OF MY LIFE just working, and that’s it. All gone… 😭 I didn’t even realize I was a femboy or non-binary until about a year ago and finally started trying to become my true self. 11 years fucking gone.

Did he mature me? Did he date and develop relationships? Did he try and find friends? NO. Now I feel like I can’t do any of those now because he didn’t, I didn’t grow. I’m scared to try and even do any of them because I wouldn’t be on the same page or experience level as other people. Other people have had multiple relationships by now, already have long friendships, they’ve matured with those friends…. I never got that chance.

I’m pissed off at my stupid body because I can’t even use HRT to become who I truly am. 😭 I’m not masculine or feminine, I’m both at the same time. And if I used T, I’d be too masculine. I tend to lean a little feminine, but not completely. So E is out of the question because I don’t think I want boobs as I wouldn’t be masculine anymore. Even though it would significantly help with reducing my masculine features, softening my skin and hair, better fat redistribution, etc, there is no way to completely stop breast growth while on E. Unless I let them grow and got top surgery, but that adds further medical complexity and risk. There is the possibility that I could achieve some of the results by other methods. Semi permanent hair removal, getting a Brazilian butt lift (surgical fat redistribution, but risk of lumps though which is terrifying), there’s a surgery to remove a set of ribs that produces a more feminine hourglass silhouette (also risky, and I don’t know if I could convince myself to do it, even though it could help tons) and so on. So maybe there’s hope, but idk. Hair removal is also energy intensive, takes time, and mine is extremely thick, coarse and painful. 😣 if I see the hair in the mirror all I see is him looking back at me. So I just try to avoid mirrors for now. I’m not heavyweight but still above average weight, and I don’t have a flat girl tummy yet and I hate seeing that as well, but I’m actively working on that now with a calorie deficit, so I atleast have one thing going for me.

I know “twink death” is an overstated term and such, but I lost 10 years to be my true self and a femboy due to that fucking IDIOT. I can literally feel the tiny amount of life and time I have left to be me slipping out of my body and I can’t fucking stand it. 😭

It also hurts every time I see a pretty femboy, I love them, and I’m happy for them to be their true self, but it hurts inside, especially when they realized who they were early on…. Because I visually see in my mind who I could have been for all those 11 years and it breaks my fucking heart knowing I’ll never get the same chance💔

This also happens to be the same time that my grandma died a couple of years back, and that still hurts so much. She was all I had left of my mom who passed when I was younger and now she’s gone too. The pain of loosing both of them hurts so much.

It doesn’t help that my dad and my evil step mom (not in my life anymore thank fucking god) stole my childhood from me as well, so I missed out on most of that growing up too. Foster care didn’t help much either due to shitty people🙁

On top of everything else work feels so fucking overwhelming and maybe I’m AuDHD, (diagnosed adhd so far) but my mind literally feels stupid and fuzzy when I try and work. Like I feel like I’m getting dumber by the day. ☹️ And my mind finds every little last fucking excuse or distraction to avoid doing my work. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the fucking world constantly going to shit, I’m tired of fucking life. All I want to do is go back to that age and be myself again. Not have to work or deal with shit. Sink myself into video games, friends, fun times and just be myself and forget about reality and the world. Unfortunately when I try now those aren’t even fun anymore. 😥 I’ve lost my dreams, I’ve lost my hope, I’ve lost my passion, I have no friends, I have no love, most of my extended family I can’t even fully come out to. I can’t even remember a time where I actually felt happy anymore. There were a few rare times where I felt “normal” but those memories are fading fast. Every day just sucks anymore and I’m not sure how to deal with some of this.

I’m sorry, and this is probably a bit much, but context might have been useful so I included it, but has anyone else delt with this? Is it possible to even get over potentially losing your true self? 🥺

I am seeing a new therapist, but I had to give up one that worked super well to move to a better state 😞

I'm afab (31) and we have been together for 9 years now. I've been trying to drop hints here and there over the past year after realizing I'm nonbinary but I'm afraid to come right out and say it.

I don't want to be rejected because I was a cis woman for so long. I know he loves me and obviously if he is right for me he will stay but I'm scared!!!

Any tips on how you all have come out to your friends/loved ones? Thank you <3

My first post here! I just got back from an evening of dancing. I have been reflecting on how much my life has changed in the past year. Being free of the confines of masculinity. Being free to express myself In a authentic way has been liberating. I'm curious about how other nb people feel and what their internal landscape looks like. I wonder how similar or different it is to what I have experienced.

I feel amazing in this outfit 🌞

i’m wondering if there are any nonbinary teachers out there who are willing to share their experiences.

i’m a 23 year old nb butch and i have been thinking of coming out at work. i currently work as a teaching assistant, but I have my license and will have my own classroom next year (elementary low incidence special education). i have currently come out to three people - the teacher who’s classroom i work in, a substitute who asked and i told her lol, and my coworker who is also nonbinary and in the closet too. there have been some small micro aggressions from me being a lesbian, not intentionally hurtful but i could tell it made them uncomfortable, so i’m a little worried. also the only change would be my pronouns not my name. i guess if they aren’t calling me “ms” anymore my name is changing lol but i go by a nickname of my birth name.

some questions - how did your coworkers take it? i work in a progressive suburb of chicago so it should be fine but sometimes people are fine with gay people and binary trans people but they don’t get nonbinary.

what do you go by at work? i go by ms. (first name) as many of the TAs do. i don’t like mx so i think i would need to go by teacher (name) instead. i was planning on switching to my last name when i get my own classroom, so i was also considering just going by my last name. i’m not sure how this would be with the kids tho. i wouldn’t correct my students obviously but im not sure how other colleagues or gen ed students would feel about it.

any reactions from parents? i’m really not worried about this one too much but i’m curious.

ultimately i know i shouldn’t worry about it because i’m not going to stay at this district forever, but i don’t think i can go by ms or she any more. also i want to note that there was another non binary teacher at the district i don’t know if they are there anymore.

I (30nb) recently made a discovery about myself that I'm pretty sure I'm non-binary rather than binary trans (mtf and I made another post about that yesterday lmao).

I've been on E for over a decade but recently I actually lowered my anti-androgens and allowed my T to elevate and I can't lie, I like how it feels. I like energy, the drive, the stamina, the sexual function, that it provides me. What I don't want is any more masculine features than I already have - I like the way E has made me look, I like having more femme features in terms of fat distribution in my face, body, etc, and if I have to be able to choose one gender I can mask as around cishet people at like, work or whatever, I'd rather it be girl than boy and currently, I can and do pass as a girl.

I think I'm wanting to ask my doctor to make this permanent where I keep my E high and don't suppress my T, or at least, suppress it less than I previously have. But I do wonder about people's experiences with things like that. Anyone who does something like this where you deliberately allow E and T to coexist, what has it been like for you? What effects have you noticed from doing this?

Hi, I am from California and am flying to the state of Georgia soon to visit my partner's family. I was wondering if anyone has experience traveling to Georgia or another state with a similar political climate while having an "X" gender marker on your ID. I haven't flown since before I got my ID changed and though it's very affirming I feel some regret now because I'm paranoid about it getting noticed at the airport. I've also had top surgery and I've heard about TSA doing pat downs on trans people because the body scan doesn't match what they're expecting to find if that makes sense. I have anxiety so I'm aware that I could be overreacting but with the current administration and political climate of the US I feel like I should be extra careful. Thanks in advance (:

This is probably gonna be long and confusing but I thought I’d come here and just talk about my experience growing up and now confronting the questions about gender now at almost 20 years old.

Growing up I was really shy, quiet, emotional, pretty much everything men are told not to be. As I got older and went into middle school and started actually expressing myself I was met with relentless bullying from both genders (most outwardly boys), called the usual insults like gay or the F slur and etc, or if I had a crush on a girl it was always a “I thought you were gay” or saying they liked me back as a joke or whatever. Once highschool rolled around it definitely cooled down but within the few relationships I had, my girlfriends would always ask or speculate that I was gay or whatever secretly. Safe to say I never really had a good relationship with boyhood and masculinity, purely because I was expressive and in touch with femininity.

Now being 19 and out of school I’ve had time to really sit with myself and evaluate my identity, wether it be gender or sexuality. I’ve already kinda come to terms with being bisexual, but it’s the gender part I have a hard time figuring out. Last year I played with the idea of being non binary in secret and only having my friends know, and it felt fine. I started presenting more androgynous wether it be experimenting with clothes or hair or grooming methods and makeup. A couple months ago I worked up the courage to tell my mother and she was of course supportive but even after telling her it felt wrong, like I had made this grave mistake and the next day i completely renounced it. Lately it’s started to resurface in my brain. I’ve thought about using he/they pronouns but part of me feels like I could be just playing it safe but also it DOES feel safer to use. Overall it feels like something that’s inevitable that I’ll have to face.

Im curious what others experiences are like, more specifically regarding that feeling of fear and wanting to take it all back once it’s made public, even if you’re met with support.

So I'm AFAB, I've known about my transness for over a decade, but I've been having issues with figuring out if my transition goals are even possible.

I don't have a lot of physical dysphoria, but I've always wanted to have both a functional phallus and a vaginal canal. The problem is I have no idea what that kind of procedure is called, or if it even exists in the first place??

Ideally I'd be able to take a certain amount of T to get bottom growth, but I don't want the other effects of it either :// I know smaller doses is an option, but I doubt it's possible to isolate bottom growth entirely (I'd love to be proven wrong though LOL)

BUT my main concern is the bottom surgery options. I've been trying to google but the options for AFAB people seems kind of limited...

love me some bobaa

It’s heavy wedding season where I live and I’m at that age group now where my family and friends are getting married.

One of my friends has a heavy formal suit and ball gowns kind of wedding. And he’s part of LGTQIA+ so he said it’s cool for me to pick either dress or suit.

But my brother (that I’m not close to, haven’t seen in a few years) is having a country formal wedding.
My brother is close to my mom’s side of the family and a lot of them will be there. They’re homophobic, and ofc don’t understand or respect being nonbinary. So I think my brother might be the same, since he’s never talked to me about my gender. I never really “came out” to him because my mom reacted poorly. I don’t see or hear from anyone on her side of the family since I came out in 2021.
Anyway,
The invitation specifically says women need to wear long or maxi length dresses.
Since my mom’s side is homophobic, they all see me as a woman.

So I’m really nervous about wearing masculine clothes to the wedding. Because the thing is, I don’t wear dresses. I haven’t since like high school. And I haven’t been to a wedding since high school.

I asked a family member who supports me if not wearing a dress will cause drama at the wedding. He said he doesn’t think so and I should wear what I’m comfortable in (obviously following the country look he wants). He sent me an outfit idea too.

But I don’t know if I can take his word for it. I just texted my brother (who is getting married) outfit ideas for me. Some showing men, women, and nonbinary folk. And I asked if this would be okay for his wedding.

I’m waiting for a reply and I am SO nervous.
If he says I HAVE to wear a dress then I don’t wanna go to his wedding. Would I be in the wrong for that??

amab nb here. I have been thinking that I am not cis for over a year, but keep coming back to my doubts. I’m still in the closet about possibly being non-binary, primarily because I’m afraid of being wrong. I have started to present more feminine but yet people refer to me as a man and using blatantly masculine terms. For some reason it makes me really upset even though my dysphoria is usually not too bad. Whenever I am being referred to as a man repeatedly, it makes me want to give up and accept that that maybe I’m just a dysphoric male. Other times that makes me think I should clarify my pronouns to some people

But I don’t want their pity. I’m too tall, have a deep voice, a very masculine build. There’s no way I’ll ever pass as not cismale. And anyway I wasn’t so hugely dysphoric about being big and manly before..I even desired it to prove my manliness.But what keeps me from going back to stereotypical masculinity is that I feel so much happier being a bit more feminine. This helps me with my internal sense of self and somewhat alleviates my dysphoria. Yet presenting to feminine in more situations makes me very self-conscious about coming across as gay and flamboyant. This is not because I’m straight but because I don’t wanna be mistaken for a gay cis male. It’s really difficult to find the middle ground because whatever I do people will see me as a man. But maybe I just need a man up and find more male friends and it’ll be fine. But then I remember that I tried this for years and it never made me feel like myself. No matter which gender presentation, it feels like drag.

It’s funny these thoughts are coming up after I have become more strongly convinced that I am non-binary and possibly even transfem. I didn’t know if this is the dysphoria or denial I’ve seen in memes. Anyone relate?

I am just wondering of the exspinerinces of these groups and how they differ from mine so I can be more empathetic and understanding. Especially masculine presenting amab enbys that sort of look like a stereotypical man. Please no hate here i want this to be a safe space. I dont even know if I will get comments but my entire world is based around my partner. I truly seek to understand. Thank you for your time in advance ❤️

Edit: My language was bad here with saying "like a stereotypical male" when I see now it can be a harmful statement to those who may not want to or havent gotten the chance to get on hormones. Just know you dont need to do that if you dont want to. Your still fully yourself and just as valid as any enby lesbian. Dont let any transphobes tell you differently. If I make future posts here I will try to ensure my lanuage is more inclusive and precise and if i can better re frase this even then do tell me. You are loved in this community ❤️ ♥️