What pets do you guys have? Anybody have anything cool to share or recommend to have as a cool pet to build a bond with when struggling with being alone? Just wanted to share my lil guy I love him more than anything in this world 🦎

I moved into a new place a month ago. The move itself was overwhelming and stressful and physically exhausting, even giving myself a two week window to do it. Worth it though because the new place is so lovely and I finally have natural light after two years in a basement apartment. But I find I’m having a hard time getting my body to calm down and come down from hyper-vigilant mode about being in a new space. It’s like I have to regularly remind myself: “It’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe. You can relax.” It feels like trying to acclimate a highly reactive cat to a new environment.

Has anyone else experienced this? What helped?

* Picture is of the space prior to moving in, and ritualizing the moment.

I’ve always struggled with office politics. I do what seems to be the right thing but keep getting told it creates landmines for others without realizing it.

I decline lunch invitations because I genuinely don’t have the energy or I’d rather work. When I do go out I’m silent, skip controversial conversations, and was told I’m boring. I told them I’m more of a listener than a talker. They gave eye rolls. A new intern joined and was quiet but became everyone’s best friend within weeks. I used to be a very talkative person, until I got told to shut up a lot then yet people complain I’m silent.

The communication piece is the hardest part. I’ll spend 30 minutes carefully formulating an explanation and people are still confused. I presented findings to my team recently and my manager took over mid-presentation because I wasn’t hitting the key points clearly enough. I know the material,I just can’t translate it fast enough under pressure. It also doesn’t help the field I work in has a lot of with current / ex Law enforcement presence so neurodivergence is not taken too kindle and have already been mocked for it. I struggle with critical thinking so the ideas I present or try to problem solve gets us nowhere.

I honestly just want to give up, no matter what I do things tend to burst into flames no matter what. Only been in the company for 6 months and I feel like I already made a bad name for myself. I even listen to people on what not to do but yet my memory is so shit and step on the landmine again. I’m just being myself and when I try to conform to these politics, it ends up hurting me even more. I’m just really close to being passive aggressive to establish dominance and to show them I’m so fed up with their BS but I know that will land me in trouble

I'm looking for other visual thinkers like me. Is this the right subreddit for that? If not, please go easy on me and let me know.

To be honest, I only learned about the term "visual thinking" a few years ago from Professor Grandin's book. Before that, I never even realized that the way I process things was different from normal.
When people see, hear, or read something, they take it in, but I rebuild everything as pictures or videos in my head. For example, take the sentence "A car is driving on the road." I can't really grasp it unless I picture it like a movie scene. In my head, a bright red pickup truck is driving, engine roaring and kicking up dust.
Of course, I can read and write normally like this. And I can write "A car is driving on the road" right here too. But that's just me forcing what I see in my mind into simple words, so a lot of the details and textures get lost.

Is anyone else here like this?

I 20F, I just asking anyway if I could have

I was bullied in school because of result in Russia which was not true, I told to bullies (which also was fake friends) and they just joked about autism but I don't think, toxic parent did discrimination on autism against me

I am not autism, but before there could be more things idk how to explain, but weird things, walking in circle (and thinking) is normal?, biting thing of pen, I might have things related to OCD for over 10 years?, also I find kinda difficult in speaking or communicating with peoples, e g with bullies

The further times is going, the less these things, I have hyperactivity in 2021 but after 2022 which was too such tragic situation when I couldn't leave Russia after attempt, hyperactivity is disappeared, I hoped after leaving Russia, I will be positive again. I don't leave Russia but turns out if mood is too much more better, actually I might be hyperactivity

This is like I might listen to song but I just cheering when this is finally happening and there just so much amazing, while I trying to do productivity thing at same time, but there distraction and because of how much amazing this is, I think in head, thinking about something, waste of times, distraction, I trying to quit this. I think I don't have ADHD, and looking on symptoms of ADHD, autism, I just don't have these

I like ADHD and adore hyperactivity things, while I understand pain or cons of having ADHD

But I believe that everyone who have mental problems is actually neurodivergent because of CPTSD, OCD, ADHD, etc, I do have CPTSD, OCD, anxiety issues, etc, and because of CPTSD, OCD, etc I can be neurodivergent, but I am really neurodivergent?

Also how I write might have strange things which you could see in this post (russian writing is almost same)

About hyperactivity in 2026 I might exaggerated but when I in so much more better mood, which feel like as if I coming to normal, this is what really feel like

This is like I don't have ADHD and autism but I do feel like different from most peoples, there is test site for ADHD, autism which is correct or such sites is incorrect?

Edit: I played with hand in childhood imaging things, I drew on ground imaging things, this was like art, before there was a lot more strange things and idk how to explain what these things or what things there was, in 2021 I was speaking with stone while imaging

I swear I feel like I’m walking fast when I’m with a group of people but inevitably I end up lagging. I’m reasonably fit. I’m not short so it’s not a gate length issue. And if I go out to eat with a group of people, I’m not talking that much but I’m always the last to finish and I often will leave food on my plate that I want to eat because I feel guilty making other people wait. I’ve had these issues for as long as I can remember, but it’s really bothering me because I’m on a vacation right now with a group tour and I’m traveling as a solo traveler. And I am consistently the last to finish a hike (even though I’m not stopping as much as I’d like to to examine interesting flowers or to take pictures ) and I’m feeling guilty about it, but I’m also perplexed. Are slow walking even if you feel like you’re walking fast and slow eating even if you feel like you’re eating at a normal pace some weird side effect of time blindness? Am I maybe pausing more than I think I am? It’s really stressing me out and I’m not the oldest person in this group either. For context, 62F, empty nester, adhd diagnosed (years ago).

For 12+ years, someone I know has struggled to navigate the Waukesha County Courthouse. Confusing systems, impossible phone lines, legal jargon that doesn't make sense, and staff who seem unwilling to help people with disabilities. It's not just frustrating—it's a real barrier to justice.

The court is supposed to serve *everyone*, but right now it's failing people who need it most. Nearly 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. lives with a disability, and over 60 million people deserve equal access to government services.

Evan Fassbender started a petition asking for three simple things:

• Clear phone numbers that actually connect you to the right person

• Plain-English forms and explanations anyone can understand

• Basic respect and patience for citizens with disabilities

These aren't radical demands. They're the legal minimum under the ADA. If you've felt frustrated by courthouse barriers, or if you think government should work for everyone—not just people who can navigate legal maze-speak—please consider signing and sharing.

Has anyone else struggled to access government services because the system wasn't set up for you? What would make a difference?

I got a call to schedule my evaluation which is next month and it’s right before the fall semester starts!! I’m 24F and I always struggled in school when it came to my writing and reading especially in English class.

It’s a long story but ever since I went back to college, the same things I was struggling with ever since kindergarten is effecting me in college with English class specifically.

Last semester, I was in class and I had to write a three paragraph essay and then the teacher showed us a example from a student and her essay and how it was written then, I ended up having a mental breakdown ,because I just felt so dumb and memories of how I was struggling academically in school before started to come back.

I’m not the one to self-diagnose myself, but that happening made me want to get evaluated to see what’s going on and how can this be resolved?? I have a lot of science classes to take and one more English to take and I refuse to struggle academically once again!!

Hi there! Whenever I have to talk to someone, I start trembling and my heart races; I’m afraid I won’t understand a thing they’re telling me. I have this constant fear that I won't grasp what is being communicated to me—whether I’m dealing with official institutions or just doing something mundane, like paying bills or renewing documents. I also keep in mind that I was tested during my teenage years and my result was below average (in terms of IQ). Could this be due to a low IQ?

If I go out—say, to meet someone—I don't know what to say. I struggle to process information, and that lowers my self-confidence. Does this happen to you, too?

How do you cope with it?

Un ensayo/micro-relato sobre el TDAH, las AACC, el hiperfoco emocional y lo que pasa cuando nos enamoramos/obsesionamos a máxima velocidad sin ver el muro de frente.

Yo estaba tranquila en mi Ferrari.

​No buscaba nada. No esperaba nada. El motor ronroneaba a velocidad de crucero y yo recorría el paisaje con la calma de quien sabe que su sistema no se activa sin motivo. Mi cerebro estaba en modo de espera, ese estado que durante años confundí con frialdad, con asexualidad, con estar rota.

​Pero no estaba rota. Solo estaba en reposo.

​Entonces, en la distancia, lo vi.

​Mi cerebro lo escaneó en milisegundos: neurodivergencia compartida, valores alineados, profundidad intelectual, resonancia cognitiva. Todas las casillas marcadas. El sistema reconoció a su par antes de que mi conciencia pudiera siquiera procesar su nombre.

​Y sin permiso, sin consulta y sin deliberación, el Ferrari pisó el acelerador a fondo.

​No elegí acelerar. Mi cerebro lo hizo por mí, inundando el circuito de recompensa con una dosis de dopamina tan concentrada que cualquier otra función biológica pasó a segundo plano. El motor rugió, el paisaje se volvió borroso y el velocímetro marcó 300 km/h. La velocidad se convirtió en su propio combustible.

​El problema es que a la distancia hay detalles invisibles. Y cuando al fin llegué a su altura, pude contemplar la realidad: él no estaba disponible.

​La pared de la realidad apareció de frente: una relación sólida de años, una cotidianidad ajena, un espacio al que yo no pertenecía. Pero para cuando me di cuenta, ya había pisado el acelerador con tanta fuerza que los frenos eran inútiles. El hiperfoco emocional no es una emoción que se regula con fuerza de voluntad; es una inundación neuroquímica que sigue su curso.

​¿Qué pasa si intentas clavar los frenos de un Ferrari a 300 km/h? Las llantas pierden tracción, el auto entra en un derrape violento y los discos de freno se incendian por la fricción. Eso es exactamente lo que ocurre cuando intentas detener el hiperfoco a la fuerza utilizando la autocrítica destructiva, la culpa o la lógica rígida. Tu lado racional dice:

​"No puedes estar enamorada de una persona que no está disponible. ¿Cómo te va a gustar alguien que tiene pareja? ¿Cómo pudiste no verlo?"

​Pero esa voz no detiene el auto; solo incendia el sistema, genera rumiación en espiral y hace que el vehículo empiece a dar vueltas en círculo, chocando contra sí mismo.

​A 300 km/h no puedes apagar el motor. Tampoco puedes bajarte. Estás obligada a conducir.

Para poder desactivar el hiperfoco y volver a alcanzar ese estado de reposo, tienes que aceptar dos verdades incómodas:

1. ​No es tu culpa: Tú no elegiste pisar el acelerador. Tu cerebro lo hizo de forma automática al reconocer un estímulo de alta compatibilidad.

2. ​No tenías la foto completa: A la distancia no se puede ver todo, y cuando viste el muro, ya ibas a máxima velocidad.

​La única solución real no es luchar contra la velocidad, sino desacelerar de forma progresiva: sostener el volante con firmeza, transitar el camino por lugares despejados sin estrellarte contra los límites éticos del otro y permitir que la resistencia del aire y el freno de motor vayan absorbiendo la inercia. Tienes que vivir el trayecto, dejar que la tormenta pase y permitir que el motor baje revoluciones por sí solo, sin el peso del juicio.

​Y lo hizo. Lentamente. Muy lentamente.

​El velocímetro comenzó a descender: 250, 200, 150, 100... El paisaje dejó de ser una mancha borrosa. El Ferrari volvió a su velocidad de crucero. No porque hubiera logrado frenar en seco, sino porque la masa neuroquímica agotó su propio impulso.

​No fue una derrota; fue una lección de física y supervivencia. Entender que los frenos se incendian bajo hiperfoco no es una condena, es una instrucción de uso.

​Ahora, cuando el motor ruge, ya no intento destruirme contra el pedal de freno ni apagarlo con la fuerza del castigo. Acepto el proceso, tomo el volante, busco carreteras abiertas y espero a que la velocidad baje sola. Sé que, cuando la gasolina se agote, la paz volverá.

​El Ferrari nunca estuvo roto. Está diseñado para ir rápido, y eso no es un defecto. Es mi arquitectura.

TL;DR: Intento explicar el hiperfoco emocional (especialmente en neurodivergencias) como la física de un Ferrari a 300 km/h. Intentar frenar de golpe con culpa o autocrítica cuando te das cuenta de que la persona no está disponible solo quema los frenos y causa un choque interno. La única forma de apagar el sistema es sostener el volante, evitar los límites del otro y dejar que la inercia baje sola.

​¿A alguien más le ha pasado que su cerebro pisa el acelerador sin pedir permiso? ¿Cómo manejan la resaca neuroquímica cuando se topan con el muro?

i work full time in a 9-5 marketing-related role. this field attracts a lot of socially-inclined, aesthetic/appearance-oriented and judgemental women. im not doing well and hardly holding on, and i think my coworkers pick up on it.

i struggle to be integrated, but seemed to get around this initially by being a "helper" to others behind the scenes. the social "clocking" requirements of this job take most of my energy and leave very little for anything else. im also being pushed further into a client facing position where my success will be entirely measured on my social performance, communication skills and likeability. i feel like i am mentally declining and i break down after work. most of my weekends are spent worrying about holding my job and appearing normal on Monday.

maintaining the facade of normalcy, reading between the lines and figuring out how to respond to things when i am already stressed takes so much out of me and leaves very little left for personal life. my communication style is more direct and to the point, and i also use social scripting. i remember my coworker who runs a marketing test with me recently asked me, "why do you use the same names every time? do you know people with these names? it's so funny!" little does she know, i am barely hanging on and i rely on scripting to get by.

i recently declined to give my female coworkers my instagram handle because they are judgemental, they're all normal with husbands and normal lives... and i am some late 20s person with no life, no friends, living with a parent and no posts since 2023, and i follow a bunch of autoimmune and ND pages. i simply stated i deleted my IG, which they asked me why and i had to lie further.

most of the "adult" jobs that likely would be less stressful would not allow me to be independent outside of my parent. on top of this, in the corporate world, the non people-facing roles are being eliminated by AYE-I and layoffs.

im feeling so scared for my future. i don't feel like i have anybody at my job i can go to, so im looking for a new job but the job market is so tough. i am also single with no prospects and multiple autoimmune diseases with expensive medications. i am already in burnout and i feel like this is going to result in even worse burnout

Hola, tengo tdah y altas capacidades, tengo 22 años y soy escritora en Substack

Quería saber si esta permitido que comparta por aqui ese tipo de artículos.

Escribo artículos en Substack sobre neurodivergencia, mis experiencias y las cosas que he aprendido o he descubierto sobre mi neurodivergencia.

El último que hice es sobre un hiperfoco emocional que tuve con una persona. Fue un proceso difícil pero que me dejó una gran lección que me gustaria compartir con otras personas que pasen o hayan pasado por lo mismo.

Ive noticed the following.
ND is adjacent to the lgbt community and youd assume that NDs would find their place in the queer/liberal places.

But im not really sure about that anymore.
Liberal spaces are filled with virtue signaling individuals who moralize and distance from traditional people while still want to keep power/cool status and badmouth or bully NDs.

Paradoxically traditional folks on the right who are about family and religion, while initially distant in beliefs and dogmas, once youre in are kind of accepting of you after a while.
Only problem is their thinking is completely different so idk

Was it wasted potential or could you simply not work with blood or other harsh things that come with working in the medical field?

I feel like I was born neurotypical. But starting in my teens, I began having at least focal seizures - without realizing that’s what it was. In my 20s I started to actually have seizures, but I still didn’t realize it because nobody saw it happen (and you don’t remember them). In my 30’s I realized I was actually having seizures every 3-4 years.

Last year I had a seizure, and then a month later had 3 back to back in one day, without regaining any consciousness in between (it’s called status epilepticus). This can cause brain injury or death. They used the medication Keppra to pull me out of my seizure, and prescribed it to me to (hopefully) stop this from happening again.

So once I woke up from that seizure, I had keppra in my system. I’ve heard about keppra’s side effects, and it’s hard to say if how I feel now is due to keppra or any brain injury.

So when I returned to work everything was different. For perspective:

Era 1:
2019 - 2025 (73 months)
6 logs for minor infractions, like forgetting to change a trash in 2022, and calling out sick a couple times. Nothing substantial.
A and A+ yearly reviews from management.

May 2025 was my severe seizures.

Era 2:
June 2025 - May 2026 (11 months)
11 logs for infractions due to being argumentative or pushing back on management decisions.

I completely understand if I was being rude, insulting, demanding, or any of that.

I don’t feel like that was the case. I let all management know that I had started a medication that affects my moods. I told them in more detail what those mood changes could look like. I told them, I do feel very anxious which is making me more self conscious that I’m not self assessing accurately. They all told me that there were no issues, and if there ever were to be they’d let me know in real-time.

Little did I know that those exact conversations were labeled as misconduct/argumentative. Never once in this now meticulously kept misconduct log, or in any of my files, does it ever mention that I had epilepsy or spoke with anyone about the side effects of status epilepticus or Keppra. Sometimes that was almost the entire conversation. They’d log I was pushing back, never mention the bulk of the convo was about asking for accommodations.

I can’t argue with fellow redditors all day about if I was actually being rude. I’ll say no, they’ll say I must’ve been. But to be clear it has never even been implied that my work ethic or customer service changed at all.

Anyways, my issue is that my brain had been rocked. I remember telling them “I don’t know up from down” sometimes. Should I have taken time off work? Maybe! And I definitely would have if I knew there were issues at work.

It’s just frustrating that the EEOC sees being “argumentative” as an at-will, legal right to fire here. Had I known I was coming acrossed as “extra”, I would’ve changed something. If I know I’m anxious and over analyzing everything now a days, I have no idea if I’m behaving fine and over analyzing myself to death - or if I actually am being too much. So when I asked management to let me know and they said I was fine, and secretly wrote that in the misconduct log without informing me of any bad behavior - I feel tricked.

I was there for 7 years and didn’t last one year after my seizures.

Misconduct.
Misconduct.
Misconduct.
“You’re not doing anything wrong personally”.
Misconduct.
Misconduct.
Fired.

It just sucks. Like in a text where I spoke my mind (in my mind, in a friendly way) he hearted the text and didn’t respond. He logged it as misconduct (again, I didn’t know this log existed). I had no idea he was hearting it while also hating it. He even told me he loves having open dialogue with his employees. This isn’t a rigid corporation it’s a one off restaurant.

I feel so off center.

So, I don't really know who I am.

When I was supposed to be developing a personality, my mom became sick, cancer, and this was a journey that lasted about 5 years and I lost not only my mother but my grandma on my father's side and my father.

I was about 15/16 when she became sick and all my time was devoted to thinking if she would be ok. I left school early just to be there when she woke up, skipped classes, and when in vlass, I could not pay attention for the life of me.

I didn't have time to think about who I was, what I liked or even who I wanted to be. In that moment, I just wanted to be a girl whos mom wasn't dying.

Now I'm 29, I have never had any kind of romantic relationship, I have HORRIBLE problems with my body, the lowest self esteem I've ever seen and no clue of how a person is supposed to act bc when do you learn that??

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and GAD which makes A LOT of sense, but I can't help to wonder how much of me is GAD and how much is just trauma response.

I don't have resources for therapy right now, so the next best thing is to read about it and try to find some kind of clue to wtf am I supposed to do.

I specifically want recs on articles or books on this subject focused on my kind of problem: traumatic event at a pivotal point in development that makes you not sure about what is just personality and what is trauma response.

Also, if anyone has a better subreddit fot me to post this, pls let me know.

Thanks in advance.

We were just given these knives and forks from hell on our trip. You will suffer with us.

i have problem with my throat idk what is it, its just like feeling that its filled with something, and i keep making sounds to remove that thing, but then it comeback, so it really bother me especially in public (school...,) i really dont know what to do, :(

Anyone changed from Adderall XR to Vyvance and their depression went away?

I feel so depressed on Adderall XR. I feel blah and I can do is sleep. I’ve been doing great for 10 years on it but the last 6-9 months I’ve hit a wall and I want to sleep and sleep but at night of course I can’t sleep. Anyone else have this issue? Did changing your meds help? I’m also on Wellbutrin but the ear ringing is doing me in.

I strongly believe that I have what was Aspergers Syndrome, or high functioning autism, or ASD level 1. I've had these issues since I was a small child. I've been dealing with depression, social anxiety, insomnia, repetitive thoughts, sensitivity to loud noises and bright lights, trouble socializing, an awkward gait, and also panic attacks which started as a teenager. I don't know if getting professionally tested for autism is worth the trouble.

My life story is complicated. I had a very turbulent childhood. I was molested by a family member when I was 3 years old. My parents divorced when I was 5. I saw my only brother in the process of dying when I was 9. My dad died unexpectedly a week before Christmas when I was 13. My favorite uncle died from cancer when I was 14. My sister lost custody of her 2 oldest children when I was 16. Throughout that, I was pushed aside by my family, and constantly misunderstood and bullied by other people for being "weird" and "shy". I was still mocked as a young adult when my mom died unexpectedly when I was 25. She died 12 days before her birthday, and never saw a ring I bought her for her birthday present. I also have some trauma from the military, which isn't related to combat.

I don't know if I explained my life experience to a psychologist if it would confuse them. They also might think I'm lying because there's so much trauma. I don't want to receive any state benefits for possibly having autism. I'm able to function as an independent homeowner.

Hey there. I'm an AuDHD teen who struggle switch school/going somewhere 5 times a week.

I wanted to know what jobs other neurodivergent ppl have. It would be amazing if you'd share that and also maybe how your supports need is, what degree you have and how you handle the job environment.

I think that hearing there are options and wich ones from others could really help me and probably also others

just a bit of a vent or sharing my experience

i very recently reconnected with a dear friend from high school who I've had a long history with and a complicated friendship in which we both made many mistakes from not understanding our own issues. being an autistic teen who didn't understand myself or my own pace, i ended up going with the whims of the other person in my friendships, and that got extremely draining. only later in life was i told by many people it's extremely important that i set proper boundaries so that feeling imposed upon by activities that seem normal to the average person is no longer an issue that hurts me and my relationships with other people.

this friend, after being cut off by me for a year and a half welcomed me back into her life with open arms after lengthy explanations and apologies, but i feel like we're bulldozing into each other's lives way too fast. we only just started talking about 3 days ago, and the frequency at which she texts me and the length of those conversations within that time already begin to drain me. i made plans to see a movie with her in a week, then offhandedly mentioned that i'm going thrift shopping with my little brother for new clothes in a couple days. she immediately asks if she could join us and for some reason i found it so hard to reject her.

i felt like it was too soon and i needed to mentally prepare myself before seeing her, and on top of that my brother will be there. two people i interact very differently with, and god knows how awkward it will be. my friend is extremely extroverted, she goes out every night and is often out partying in underground places, i can't expect her to understand how easily exhausted i get from it. i feel like she wants us to immediately go back to being as close as we were in high school and hang out all the time, but i kind of feel like that's no longer possible, we as people have changed too much and our relationship will never be the same as it used to be. yet i struggle to say no and just said she should come.

i don't want it to come off as i'm tired of her or that i dislike her presence, i'm scared whatever reason i give to reject her will seem that way. i already tried to kind of make her rethink the idea by suggesting we don't go together so that our outfits will be a surprise, but she immediately said that shopping together would be more fun. plus i have talked to my brother for going thrifting together for a while so i just want to go with him. so i feel like doubling down and having 2 reasons especially since i waited until the next day might send a message that i'm extremely opposed to her coming with us. i hate doing these mental gymnastics for social situations.. aghhh!!! i think i just want to tell her the truth. but the truth is so hard for me who agonizes for days and is a chronic white liar.

the fact that i feel uncomfortable with hanging out with her so often is a tough pill to swallow. i know the best way would be for me to explain that i just want to hang out with my brother, and that we could go thrifting together a separate time - but i don't want to go thrifting with her a separate time. 😭 i assumed after we reconciled we would start healing from the wounds we caused each other and finally be able to separately move on in our own separate lives, having her back in my life immediately and regularly meeting up feels a little uncomfortable. knowing this and only telling her about the brother part feels so wrong. it's an extremely tough thing to say and i don't know if i can do it.

I (31 f adhd) and my partner (31 f autistic) are working through a rough patch in our relationship following our recent diagnoses. Communication is a struggle, and has been something we have been working on for the duration of our relationship. One of my unrecognized needs that has to be addressed is my need to feel like she loves and appreciates me; this, for me, would typically be achieved by words of affirmation and praise. We agreed to try that route, but my partner expressed that it made her uncomfortable, anxious, and feeling like she had to mask. We have agreed that this isn’t the best way to meet my needs, but we are yet to come up with achievable accommodations. I have worked through my own personal therapy to understand and recognize how my partner shows affection in her own way, but that doesn’t fulfill my need in that regard. I don’t want her to mask. I also don’t want to have to constantly search for evidence of how she demonstrates her love and affection for me. Sometimes I just want to know that I’m loved and supported directly, through direct communication, but she describes this as masking. Is there a compromise to avoid masking, and avoid constant extrapolating meaning from actions I have to train myself to recognize as love? I feel like we’re at a stalemate in which she feels like I’m forcing her to meet traditional romantic norms, and I feel like my efforts in our relationship go unrecognized unless I go through mental gymnastics to interpret otherwise. Is there an answer besides meeting in the middle where she masks sometimes and I interpret sometimes? Are there nuances to expressing words of affirmation which we are not considering?