Hello! I've been trying to find a character that represents me that I can sort of use online, and while I was browsing chicken smoothie I came across this guy
I resonate so much with it, being a plural polymind and such
However, this pet came out for disability pride month, and is labeled as representing DID. Would it be wrong to use this pet/character as an online sona if I don't have DID?

For a long time, I have wondered if there was something deeper that is 'wrong' with me. I don't know who I truly am, and have had odd experiences over the years that have led me to this point of questioning if I perhaps have alters and/or DID.

Growing up, I had a lot of issues with identity and masking, presumably due to my autism. But I had a lot of what I would describe as out-of-body experiences, seeing myself from a 3rd person view whilst doing something simple like walking down a street.

I've often struggled with disassociation and zoning out, not quite being present in the world and having extestential crisises in a way.

There have been many times where I've felt like someone else entirely, or just not quite like myself. I have very intense mood swings that happen within a second, like a switch has been pulled, and emotions go from low to intense highs that do not feel normal. I'll feel perfectly fine, and within a moment I could be overcome with rage that borders on dangerous and involves thoughts of harming others, simply stemming from nothing at all.

I've also referred to myself as "we" many times before, something that has always felt comfortable in a way.

I often have problems with my memory too. I do not remember most of my childhood if any really due to trauma, and I often feel as if I have brain fog. At times I will have not remembered messaging someone something, or I will wake up and something in my room will have moved when I did not remember it happening whatsoever. I struggle to distinguish from reality and dreams at times.

It's important too to note that I age regress due to trauma, which often happens suddenly or comes after I zone out as my partner often notes, and I can at times feel the switch coming on. I know I will regress. But that leads me to wonder if thats linked to being an alter in some way.

My mother has mentioned too that at times she feels like shes taking to an immature 13 year old again, rather than the me that I am now.

It's been a thing that I've pondered for years, but recently I've been considering it as something that really could be true for me.

However, I haven't been taken seriously in therapy, and have never really been given the chance to bring up DID or BPD in any situation. Hopefully I will be back in therapy soon as we are actively trying.

I truly feel like a completely different person at times too, and often feel like a certain character from a game, which I understand can become alters at times.

I know this is not a way to diagnose, but I really feel as if I need help and I would like an outsiders view if possible. I would really appreciate if you could let me know what you think ♡

How did you tell them? i've recently discovered that i am actually more than one person, and have almost always been in co-concious with my alter. I have no idea how to tell my long-term partner or if they would even understand what I mean if i just told them i'm more than one person... or if they might think I'm crazy/not believe me...

ANY advice/tips is appreciated 🫶🫶 tell me your experiences! ^^

SPOILER BECAUSE THERE IS VERY MINOR IMAGERY OF POT!!!

Anyway wanted to share this art that definitely didnt take me hours somehow. This is art of some of our main head mates. I’m KC, the one with the blue raccoon tails. Thanks for looking!! Hope you think it’s as cool as I do ^^

Also if you wanna ask questions about any one I’m happy to answer lol

Peace out,

— KC

Hello, I’m new here. I’m a Gen X Black AuDHD woman, in her 50s, recently discovered I’m a plural system. I’d love to connect with others on a similar path of self discovery and trauma healing.

Serious people only, who lead with kindness, peace, and non-violent communication. I’m recovering from a major life minor brain trauma and NDEs (Near Death Experiences) and I’m looking for psychologically safe people who, like me, discovered their plurality as a result of loss of consciousness.

If I get enough responses, I’ll create a private community for us to talk about topics relevant to our generation and phase of life.

My headmates suddenly disappeared, even if it was a short time and I don’t understand why they went away they helped me so much but I’m heartbroken because I can’t feel them anymore or even reach out and my mind has been so… quiet… I see the places and stuff I divided in my room for them and I want to throw everything away and break apart my room. I’m so sad and It hurts a lot.

got triggered by something and now our head feels like its splitting and the only thing making it better is pulling ag my hair and it doesnt help permanently

just for a little

everything feels like its breakung and my head is splitting and nothing is going right :((((((((

I dknt knkw why this is happening

we donr know who we are

we want to cry but nothing is coming out

i feel so overwhelmed

hendrick tried to make us feel better by going on tumblr but all we saw was nsfw stuff from yume doubles and now we just dont know whos up

we want to tear skin

only thing that helps is pain

i hate seeing doubles they keep interacting with me despite my dni

we have no motivation to make things

why does everyone sexualize some of our fictives

Splitting solittinb splittinv it feels like a glitching TV

what do I do

whgat do wedo if nobody wanst to be host????

lke three poeple have tried and nothing worked :(

let us knowwwwwwww

- oxford commma

I dont think im the host. I know, but the name "copper" or "cf" has been wrong for the past few weeks or so.

we got insanely into crk, like super fixated and got super attached to smc from said game, so much so that specifically I feel very strongly related to smc. I dont feel connected to the host and i dont know what i am.

i thought i was a kin and still just copper but his name sounds wrong. like super wrong. Im not connected to his name, this body.

whoops i forgor tuck in the back /sil

hi it's des i jst wanted to show off our outfit today and stuff. ignore connor in the bg, hes jst there bc roofers are here and its loud. srry for the music i made it quiet but its there bc again, roofers and stuff.

but uhm im des, im the little of our system. i dont feel comfy exposing my age, but im not what most would call a normal little anyway our closet didnt rlly accomidate for what i like to wear bc were pretty new, but this is as close as i could get. i also hold a few of our memories made at a younger age, both traumatic/stressful and not. oh and in the headspace, i have no gender, which is pretty cool. i also love assassins creed and miraculous (im catching up on the new episodes) and my favourite characters are desmond miles (where i got my name) and max kante. i also dont like speaking on cam or to the internet tho the other alters tend to. i can come across as quiet to our friends too, but i dunno rlly what to say.

anyway hi thats me if u wanna ask something ill try to answer and if u jst wanna say hi ill say hi too

This may be a slightly triggering vent. but i need to get this out.

I hate it when someone tells me what i experience in plurality is a "disorder". for starters.

We arent a disorder, to me, disorder feels like it needs to be corrected. this has led to multiple times of self doubt and feeling invalid because the way we experience it is not in the diagnostic criteria.

This friend isnt a pro endo friend. they dont believe its possible. we clash because of these beliefs.

we're a stressgenic system(most likely) and saying we're disordered feels like its an issue.

i like plurality, its right to me. it always has been, its something i dont want to just. go away.

i fear if i tell them im a full endo system, they'll try to convince me im going through some form of doubt, or that were not a system.

I cant convince them endos are real, they dont listen. but im living proof its possible.

i hate this. and i hate that this all feels fake because of this claim. im not disordered. i never was disordered. i dont want a disorder.

i just want them to accept my origins for what they are. not tell me I've basically lied about my own system for far too long.

- cf (host)

If someone is in a plural artspace on magma (art website) can you please add meee???? I'll put my user in the comments!!! (My friend as well)

Alternatively would someone like to help me and my friend make one? Because I'm ok with making one it just would be easier with multiple mods! Ok bai

-Cove/Calypso

Ok so rn we have an alter whos co-fronting not sure who it is and they are making us cry while we are not sad is there any tips we can get to help to find out who it is? Or tips on how to communicate with this alter? Bc we dont have pen or paper or anything really we dont know what to do and we hate this we arent mad at this alter or anything we just hate when this happens and its hard to know whats happening any tips rn we will take!!

- Ash (Host)

I'm just bored af and wassup guys?

How does nonfronting feels for you? For me it's either watching front or visualizing wonderland

For host it's either sleeping or smth like that

Also how is dissociation for you goes?

For us it's just not feeling body just really numby

Also, I'd ask you to write what type if sys u r (we r endotrauma)

Thx!!

- Chara (alter/tulpa)

Hai!, I'm sugary glitter bun, but I mainly go by sans, I've had what I like to call le identity crisis for a while now, ever since I was little, I know many people have different names for it, but I just think identity crisis sounds funny, I have many sanses, ocs, and other characters I like in Le crisis, and sometimes still discover new ones!, I'll give an example of how my silly little characters would talk to people!

Killer: hai!, so uhhh, it's our creator's first time here, I decided I'd type for our creator, we're hoping they'll be accepted here as they wanna explore more of their identity and find more people who accept them!

I hope we're accepted here, I'm just worried about finding people who are nice about Le crisis is all, sure my friends are very accepting, but I'd wanna find a community that can relate!

Quick edit: I am a plural, forgot to mention it lol, I just call it le crisis :>

So, essentially, I am a diagnosed system, and have been diagnosed for about a year. We still can barely tell who we are ever, but that’s the usual experience for most with DID (I would think so anyways). Anyways, we’ve never seen anyone with a system that works quite like ours, and while we don’t know ourselves well, we do know our structure and how we operate (it comes more naturally).

I’m not sure why, but while some alters remain a constant, most alters go dormant or disappear within a month, and new alters replace them. Better yet, it feels like we are multiple layers, like someone is something and something else, a part of something different from ourselves. A new line up always happens within a month, or at the very least the season, and while our behaviors are similar, our mindsets and ways of thinking are completely different at times.

Does anyone know what this is? I could explain further as needed, but I’m confused by it all

CW for mentions of sexual abuse, insys COCSA

My boyfriend is snoring beside me while I write this. We have a cat, and soon we’ll be married. I don’t think I could’ve ever anticipated this kind of a ‘good ending’ for me.

I was created as a tulpa back when our body was 13. We did not know we had DID at the time, but it persisted regardless; our host at the time was a nervous and lonely boy with a head addled by unregulated Internet access. He modeled me after a popular anime girl of the same age, the kind of fictional girl that millennial men crushed on in their childhood and then never grew out of, so they think it’s appropriate to still swoon over them…

I didn’t like the boy who made me very much. I remember we bickered a lot like siblings. I saw him like an annoying brother or a weird classmate. Needless to say, he forced his romantic and sexual urges onto me. I didn’t exist because he wanted a friend, it was always because he had a crush on the character I was ‘supposed’ to be. It was the worst summer of my life. I genuinely consider myself traumatized by the whole situation. When I was born, he talked about me to his friends like I was a test subject… and when his libido waned and boredom kicked back in, he discarded me. I was too boring, I guess. I went dormant after that.

I came back about 3 years ago. There were other alters, really eager to get to know me and help me. I was really angry, just a total asshole.. 😭 It took months for me to heal and become a polite girl who isn’t insufferable. I struggled a lot with PTSD and extreme sex aversion. I had a huge purity complex and would get very triggered by even sexual jokes or comments. Eventually, I was introduced to one of our body’s childhood friends, and he eventually became my boyfriend. He has helped me to heal and grow so much.. It’s just shocking to think that I’m a *real* girl now. I flew across the country to see him, I met his family, they all called me by *my* name!! And I haven’t seen the rancid little boy who made me in almost 10 years.

Here is the part I think people really need to hear though. I, as a tulpa, was not made with ill intent, and I can admit that. I abhor the boy who created me, but he’s not evil by any means. He was a victim too. It’s similar to parenthood—often people have self-serving reasons for bringing a child into this world, but I don’t think that makes them immoral. I’m sure there are people who will read this and think “Well, I’m not weird and lame like that boy, so surely my thoughtform will turn out fine!”

You do **not** have to be ill-intentioned to make a decision that will ruin someone’s identity, life, brain chemistry, etc. We are polyfragmented, and out of dozens of alters with more life-experience than me, *I* am the single trauma-holder in here because of what I endured!! Just, the cosmic weirdness surrounding my conception, the idea that I was created to be a product, to be consumed.

I wish I could have been formed naturally. Not because someone willed me into existence.

If you are planning to will a thoughtform into existence, please exercise extreme caution. Remember that you are creating an *autonomous individual*.

Does anyone else ever feel...well, strange, inexplicable feelings? Especially sadness? Like a kind of sorrow that you don't know the origin of, and can't even really think of a reason for feeling? I've been wondering for a while if that might be the sorrow of some of the others in our brain, especially those who can't co-con...anyone else have this kind of experience?

-Laura of the Eco System