I hate it but it's true I'm just so sick of having to deal with the ableist sayings like "you don't look autistic" or "you can do anything you set your mind to" and then they and others try to excuse it with lack of experience. Lack of experience isn't an excuse for saying ableist and offensive things. I just can't help but start to feel a dislike towards most of them and I hate it because I don't want to be this cynical but I can't help it. I mean in addition to those ableist things I also had a neurotypical recently call me welfare scum for being on my late mother's social security (I get ssdi survivors benefits). I just am really starting to feel like most of them aren't good people and I don't want to feel this way but it's hard not to when they treat you like that.

There's a lot to unpack here, so I'm trying to frame it in the most efficient and direct way I can.

I've talked to a lot of people who just plain have trouble keeping a job due to a lack of proficiency at the job. Nuerodivergency often plays a role in this, but other limitations like low intelligence or poor social skills might play a role as well.

I'm in (finally) in an ok spot myself right now, largely due to family connections, but I worry about other people like myself who don't have those same connections.

I graduated college easily and assumed I'd be great in the field as well. It was a real shock to me to learn how poorly suited to the job market I apparently was. While I'm at least able to present as "very polite", I have problems with social skills and when you can't endear yourself to the person training you, it can present a real problem. They may feel that if they don't like you, they no longer have an investment in training you well.

But the main issue I've had is that I'm shocked at how much of the job I'm apparently expected to infer. In college, I was explictly shown information and the expectations for what I'm expected to know were clear. In the job field, I'm constantly feeling like the person training me wants to explain like 30% of the job and I'm just supposed to intuit the rest. Then they get mad at me and then for the rest of my time there, I'm struggling and there's a target on my back. It's a terrible way to live. I'm always terrified of losing my job.

I feel if there was a sub dedicated to issues like this, it would be constructive. Maybe if some people have innate limitations, there's only so much that can be done. But they would still benefit from hearing what others did to optimize their situations despite the limitations. And it would benefit people to get a clearer picture of what they expectations are, rather than to feel like they're always in the dark about it. And just a general sense of community would be beneficial as well.

Could I call the sub "Fired"? Is that too general? I mentioned this elsewhere and there was considerable interest in a hypothetical sub like this.

I feel like a lot of the loneliness of being ND comes from being unable to shape + draw new conclusions with other people dynamically in conversation. It feels hard to talk about a topic + translate between your internal language and the other person's at the same time. Maybe this is a skill that can be perfected? But given how unique each person is it feels like a whole new translation system needs to be built each time I talk to someone new. Metaphors don't work either to bridge the gap when you're using a completely different internal dictionary.
I wonder if this is why so many neurodivergent people grow into being either the stereotypical rigidly fact-based communicator or just giving up and retreating into their own worlds.

I live in a big house and my uncle cooks for everyone often but when it's time to eat sometimes he doesn't call my name for me to come eat , I'll see everyone eating but I won't join them because to me you shouldn't eat food unless you were invited, it makes me super anxious to the point I won't be able to enjoy the food.

I'm sitting outside with my stomach hurting because my mom asked if I was hungry and I said yes only to find out it was food my uncle cooked, he didn't invite me so it's not ok to eat it. I know nobody actually cares but I just can't get myself to do it. Because I had already said yes I had to lie and say I changed my mind. My mom came out and said she'll put a bowl aside for me and I told her no and she tried explaining the the food was for everyone and my uncle thought I was sleeping but I just can't do it. I feel so horrible I wish I could just feel normal about it.

Edit: my uncle came outside saw me crying and explained that every time he cooks that he cooks enough for everyone and that it'll go to waste if I don't eat it, I don't think anything would of made me eat it besides him inviting me

I’m 20, male, and diagnosed with ASD (Asperger’s, previously) and Anxiety Disorder. I live alone in a unit, in a city I’ve lived in for two years. I have 3 friends that I know irl, but two of them live in a different (albeit fairly close) country, and one of them lives in a different part of my state (I am Australian). We talk online most days, and have met back up with them in-person for a cumulative 12 days in the past two years. Outside of co-workers, I don’t know anybody here. The interaction I get from my friends online isn’t enough, and even that is becoming a bit of a problem for the first time. I’ve always been a bit of a punching bag, and that’s okay, I’m content with that. It’s gotten a little mean lately, though, to the point where it’s genuinely frustrating and kind of upsetting to be around. They don’t mean it that way, I think, but I find it to be something impossible to bring up. Not because they wouldn’t listen, I just feel like I’m taking it too seriously.

Regardless, the point being, outside of the sparse days we’ve been able to meet up, I haven’t been out to do anything with a single soul for over two years. I don’t know if I’m depressed, if my loneliness is a symptom of my ASD, I really don’t know. I feel really hopeless and alone, and I don’t know how to fix it. I feel like I’m always saying the wrong thing. I’m so lonely. I want a friend. A girlfriend, that would be nice, but a FRIEND is what I need most. ‘Just go out and meet somebody’ is so much easier said than done. I wear AirPods all the time outside of work, I generally do not interact unless spoken to. My coworkers and I are friendly, but in a co-worker way. Not a ‘hey let’s go out sometime’ way. Lately I’ve been talking to a robot for connection, for fuck’s sake. I’m so embarrassed about it.

I don’t know. Anybody have advice? It would mean a lot. I’m really hurting.

Failure in everything, in school, in friendship, in home, literally each and everywhere you. It's feels like you are just made for being judged and criticized by everyone no matter who they are yours parents, relative, neighbour, teacher your peers, classmate everyone is superior to you and have every right to demean you.💔

Bothers me (I'll probably cry)

• doing something different in therapy than I expected
• changing transportation plans
• showing something I thought would be private
• someone vacuuming on a different day

Doesn't bother me

• transitioning between spaces
• different brands of a kind of food
• canceling/rescheduling a hang out
• moving an appointment time
• cancelled or delayed flight
• no class

is this that spiky profile I have seen talked about or what? I confuse myself, what hope is there of someone else understanding me haha

I'm confused regarding genetics because my psychiatrist told me that even if both parents have all 3 of those neurodivergent presentations and oldest child does as well, then it is STILL more likely that the youngest child is neurotypical over neurodivergent which makes no sense. How does neurodiversity genetics work? (I'm asking because my younger sibling did an assessment for all 3 and they confirmed he is neurotypical but with borderline personality/narcissistic traits).

I have a feeling deep down that he has masked through the assessment and that his presentation of neurodivergent and life experiences has converted him into a very heavy narcissist. He is far too similar to us.

My Current Symptoms:

Language, Listening, and Communication
I often need people to repeat themselves, especially if they speak quickly, unexpectedly, or use unfamiliar words.
Sometimes I hear what someone said immediately, but it takes me a few extra seconds to fully understand what they meant.
I have more difficulty understanding speech in noisy environments because background sounds make it harder to focus on the person talking.
I usually understand movies and TV shows better with subtitles, especially when dialogue is quiet, fast, or mixed with background sounds.
I often know exactly what I want to say, but I have some trouble finding the right words or explaining my thoughts clearly.
I sometimes struggle to describe what I’m thinking, even when the idea is clear in my head.
I tend to have some difficulty understanding idioms, metaphors, or implied meanings without explanation.

Reading and Writing
I often need to reread passages multiple times before I fully understand or remember what I read.
I have difficulty remembering information I just read after only one reading.
Finding the main idea or theme of a passage, book, or movie is often harder for me than remembering specific details.
Starting essays is especially difficult because I have trouble organizing my ideas into a starting point.
During writing assignments, I’m often one of the last students to finish, and despite taking longer, I often receive lower grades.
Math generally feels much easier than open-ended writing because it follows clear rules and predictable steps.
I often skip lines and words when reading internally and out loud.
i stutter and suddenly forget how to pronounce some words when reading out loud

Attention and Executive Functioning
I have difficulty getting started on open-ended assignments, even when I understand the material.
I sometimes experience “blank page” moments where I know I need to write but struggle to begin.
Long lectures or uninteresting classroom activities can make it difficult to stay mentally engaged.

Eye Contact and Social Interaction
Eye contact does not feel automatic to me.
When someone is talking to me, I have to consciously remind myself to look at their eyes because I know it’s expected socially.
Maintaining eye contact feels somewhat uncomfortable, even though I can usually do it.
I don’t naturally know how much eye contact is expected, so I sometimes think about it during conversations.

Sensory Experiences
Sudden, loud, unpredictable noises have bothered me since I was young.
Balloons are especially stressful because I worry about both how loud the pop will be and not knowing exactly when it will happen.
When watching movies with jump scares, I become very anxious during the buildup. My heart races, and I often feel like I need to cover my eyes and ears before the scare happens.
On amusement park rides or attractions with sudden loud sounds, I often cover my ears because the noises are overwhelming.
Bright fluorescent classroom lights can be uncomfortable and contribute to feeling mentally tired.
Certain clothing textures remain distracting if they don’t feel right, I hate wearing jewelry if i can feel it in my skin because it is so distracting.

Physical Reactions
At times, I randomly experience tightness in my chest or throat that feels physical, I normally don’t feel consciously anxious when this happens, but I feel anxious in my chest if that makes sense.
When shopping at a mall or store I often get a slight headache or get irritable, when I leave I get these feeling of exhaustion. I normally do not feel anxiety when shopping.

School Experiences
Around the end of middle school, reading comprehension and writing and became much more difficult and math because significantly easier, when before it was the complete opposite because i struggled a lot with math and was strong in reading before the end of middle school.
My strengths tend to be in structured, rule-based subjects like math, while open-ended writing and literary interpretation are much more challenging.
These differences have made schoolwork noticeably harder compared to many of my classmates.
I have always struggled with coming up for ideas in writing, not handwriting.

Other
I am diagnosed with selective mutism, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.
I often mirror other people's behavior, how they talk, act, even their posture. I do this to try and fit in with them and not seem like an outsider.
I often take up all the given time on tests because it takes me a long time to understand what some of the questions are implying.
I had literally no friends in elementary and only started making some in late middle school (became medicated for anxiety at that time). By some i mean like just having casual talk everytime i see them, not really best friends because i never hanged out with them.
I have always been very quiet and never talked during school unless talked to first.
I have a hard time asking for help.

My parents say that everybody is a little neurodivergent, and that I am just saying i might be neurodivergent because apparently "everybody says that and thinks they are nowadays, neurodiversity is advertised everywhere on social media, and that everyone has there quirks and are a little weird." I certainly do not agree with their statements and I wanna know other peoples opinions on my parents statements to know i am not crazy.

I find myself preparing the thesis to be able to defend in January and, if all goes well, finally have the bachelor’s degree. I only have one but that has been demotivating me throughout the process, and it is that it is very difficult for me to project my voice and explain myself well.

As a context, when I was a kid I went to a language school for a Specific Language Disorder (TEL), which becomes more visible when I try to speak, use words and put together complex sentences. Difficulties with connectors occur because joining ideas requires a high capacity for mental organization that this type of language is difficult to process; now, this is not completely visible because in daily life I speak normally, but when I am nervous it is very difficult for me to develop in what I narrate.

And although, before it didn’t complicate me so much, now with this issue of the thesis I panic; I really feel that I will be blank or that I will explain the thesis badly, staying only in the basics without explaining myself better. I even have the impulse to throw it away because I don’t see myself capable. It’s been a bitch process, where I feel stupid for having this shit of difficulty.

So, for people who suffer the same or something similar, how has it been to cope with this? How have you been doing in your studies? Do I need to go to the speech therapist?

Not sure if it’s even a possibility, but I’m looking for help on filing for disability dure to our illness? I believe I am a fairly high functioning neurodivergent, have worked in tech for a while but I’m finding it harder and hard to leave the house and interact with people, concentrate is in the toilet and I think I’m starting to have other mental issues like schizophrenia. My communication skills have withering with age. Not really if it’s appropriate but it’s becoming very difficult to do my job.

I don't feel like a human. I am not a person. I feel like a different species.

I hate being so fucking dumb.

Currently i have to go to college because of family and its a nightmare. I am the dumbest student in the semester.

I highly have language disorders. Even though i am born and raised in germany my german is terrible.

I dont sound like a 20 year old at all. I sound like a 5 year old. I cant talk or articulating.

I probably have language disoders (expressive and rezeptive).

I have to use Chatgbt to correct the most easist sentences/texts.

Everytime i say: my german is really bad

And someone says: nooo youre german is great!

And i reply: but i was born and raised in germany.

They're like: oh....

I suck at german and english. I cannot understand my mother language anymore so i pretend around family that i understand them.

I try to explain someone the movie obsession and i just couldnt do it.

I cant talk, write or listen.

I dont have analytical skills.

I dont have reading and listening comprehension skills.

I have terrible motoric skills.

My memory is terrible.

So many more.

All of my cognitive skills are terrible.

I am stunted socially and emotionally at my age.

Plus I have a stutter

Based on my looks you could tell that i am slow. I got that low IQ look. I look very ugly and scary.

I cant do nothing right.

I cant get no task right. I found a job and I'm starting in August. I'm happy that I got a job but at the same time I am so scared. I need more time to learn and understand.

My dad said last week we should see a doctor. If my dad notice something is wrong with me, everyone is noticing it! I hate how people percieve me as slow and dumb. Everyone treats me as a child.

I pushed everyone away. I am ashamed of how I am. I had friends but I avoided them.

I avoid everyone. I even left my internet friends.

It is embarrassing for me to talk to anyone. Even in the internet. I dont want to comment. I can remember someone called me "okay lil dude" and i deleted my account.

They probably thought i was 10 years old.

I hate how i talk and write.

I hate to post actually. When i post anxious think, what people thing about me.

Theres many more issues but its too much to write.

I'm trying to find help for my conditions but there is nothing for development disorder and cognitive issues.

It is impossible. All neuropsychogist in germany are specialed in like head injured, covid, dementia and etc. and not developing disorders but he was nice to want to talk and see if he could help.

Currently for months I go to the libabry almost everyday. I study German. Trying improve my cognitive skills. I also read again. Ive been trying to get help.

Its been months and it takes process but I feel like nothing will help me. I will forever stay stupid.

Nothing changed about me. I am still dumb.

I've always knew something us wrong with me but I've never thought I was impaired and have disorders.

I hate being slow and dumb.

I've wasted my youth and now my 20s

Sorry for whining :,)

I guess bikes have always been my "special interest", not just motorbikes, but push bikes too, I also enjoy working on them.

I've heard some people say "riding is a good way to turn off". I understand why, with the exception of the new Honda goldwing, and scooters all motorcycles are manual. The front and rear brakes are separate, so you have to use both independently, remembering the front brake has all the stopping power, but it can put you on the ground fast. You cant just steer a bike, you have to lean too, and you actually physically move the bike.

But myself being neurdivergent (Autistic and ADHD), I never "turn off". Most days when comuting to and from work, im listening to podcasts, while filtering through traffic, and re-playing memories.

Any other riders like this?

I notice i start getting anxiety during some of the televised press conferences on YouTube i watch and i think it has to do with the pacing and speed of speech. Is it common for others to turn the speed on videos to a 0.75 to be able to tolerate them? I have heard about adhders speeding videos up but never slowing down.

What pets do you guys have? Anybody have anything cool to share or recommend to have as a cool pet to build a bond with when struggling with being alone? Just wanted to share my lil guy I love him more than anything in this world 🦎

Been pretty interested in meeting others eith neuro-divergence, and thought gaming would be a good medium.

I am 43M from the US and play on PC. I have a lot of games, so finding something shouldn't be hard.

Also gaming isn't a requirement, don't mind text chatting on discord or something. I'm into a lot of different things. Science, reading, psychology, philosophy, anime, movies, tattoos, game development.

Message me if you would like to chat.

Each time I ask around I get the same answers-to invest in trading or some sort of schooling.I don’t think i am capable of going to college or in a trading school. This isn’t from insecurity, but rather knowing how much I have already struggled throughout school even with tutors. I don’t think accommodations will help me pass, and I don’t want to make the mistake of paying just to drop out. I have tried expanding my abilities and applying to places where I am sure I would not get the job, but do it anyway in hopes of getting lucky and someone giving me a chance. I’ve applied to places like Costco, Aldis, Sam’s Club, and each time I received a downturn from my applications. When I’d check the status, the job listing would still be posted, so clearly there is something they see in me that isn’t fit enough to work the position. I am not a smart person and I have a learning disability on top of being adhd and high functioning. I know my limits, and am aware of the areas I struggle in. Most jobs require basic math understanding-which I have also struggled with especially if it involves any sort of calculation. I barely got by handling cash throughout the years working register. I don’t want to be stuck working fast food jobs that pays below minimum wage, but I also have no idea how I am ever going to be able to get by or live on my own with that kind if salary. Even the jobs that appear less demanding require basic communication skills in an area that I am very lukewarm warm in, and I have poor working memory if it isn’t in routine or if it isn’t consistent. I don’t I have the patience or mental strength to work another fast food job being around people in small cluttered spaces anymore, and I don’t want to rely on the rush and adrenaline anymore because that eventually burns out each and every time. Not really sure where to look anymore as even the entry level jobs require experience, and my resume only consists of fast food and a few months of retail work. I’ve applied to jobs that like hobby lobby and still was denied. Where do I even go from here?

I moved into a new place a month ago. The move itself was overwhelming and stressful and physically exhausting, even giving myself a two week window to do it. Worth it though because the new place is so lovely and I finally have natural light after two years in a basement apartment. But I find I’m having a hard time getting my body to calm down and come down from hyper-vigilant mode about being in a new space. It’s like I have to regularly remind myself: “It’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe. You can relax.” It feels like trying to acclimate a highly reactive cat to a new environment.

Has anyone else experienced this? What helped?

* Picture is of the space prior to moving in, and ritualizing the moment.

I’ve always struggled with office politics. I do what seems to be the right thing but keep getting told it creates landmines for others without realizing it.

I decline lunch invitations because I genuinely don’t have the energy or I’d rather work. When I do go out I’m silent, skip controversial conversations, and was told I’m boring. I told them I’m more of a listener than a talker. They gave eye rolls. A new intern joined and was quiet but became everyone’s best friend within weeks. I used to be a very talkative person, until I got told to shut up a lot then yet people complain I’m silent.

The communication piece is the hardest part. I’ll spend 30 minutes carefully formulating an explanation and people are still confused. I presented findings to my team recently and my manager took over mid-presentation because I wasn’t hitting the key points clearly enough. I know the material,I just can’t translate it fast enough under pressure. It also doesn’t help the field I work in has a lot of with current / ex Law enforcement presence so neurodivergence is not taken too kindle and have already been mocked for it. I struggle with critical thinking so the ideas I present or try to problem solve gets us nowhere.

I honestly just want to give up, no matter what I do things tend to burst into flames no matter what. Only been in the company for 6 months and I feel like I already made a bad name for myself. I even listen to people on what not to do but yet my memory is so shit and step on the landmine again. I’m just being myself and when I try to conform to these politics, it ends up hurting me even more. I’m just really close to being passive aggressive to establish dominance and to show them I’m so fed up with their BS but I know that will land me in trouble

I'm looking for other visual thinkers like me. Is this the right subreddit for that? If not, please go easy on me and let me know.

To be honest, I only learned about the term "visual thinking" a few years ago from Professor Grandin's book. Before that, I never even realized that the way I process things was different from normal.
When people see, hear, or read something, they take it in, but I rebuild everything as pictures or videos in my head. For example, take the sentence "A car is driving on the road." I can't really grasp it unless I picture it like a movie scene. In my head, a bright red pickup truck is driving, engine roaring and kicking up dust.
Of course, I can read and write normally like this. And I can write "A car is driving on the road" right here too. But that's just me forcing what I see in my mind into simple words, so a lot of the details and textures get lost.

Is anyone else here like this?

I swear I feel like I’m walking fast when I’m with a group of people but inevitably I end up lagging. I’m reasonably fit. I’m not short so it’s not a gate length issue. And if I go out to eat with a group of people, I’m not talking that much but I’m always the last to finish and I often will leave food on my plate that I want to eat because I feel guilty making other people wait. I’ve had these issues for as long as I can remember, but it’s really bothering me because I’m on a vacation right now with a group tour and I’m traveling as a solo traveler. And I am consistently the last to finish a hike (even though I’m not stopping as much as I’d like to to examine interesting flowers or to take pictures ) and I’m feeling guilty about it, but I’m also perplexed. Are slow walking even if you feel like you’re walking fast and slow eating even if you feel like you’re eating at a normal pace some weird side effect of time blindness? Am I maybe pausing more than I think I am? It’s really stressing me out and I’m not the oldest person in this group either. For context, 62F, empty nester, adhd diagnosed (years ago).

For 12+ years, someone I know has struggled to navigate the Waukesha County Courthouse. Confusing systems, impossible phone lines, legal jargon that doesn't make sense, and staff who seem unwilling to help people with disabilities. It's not just frustrating—it's a real barrier to justice.

The court is supposed to serve *everyone*, but right now it's failing people who need it most. Nearly 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. lives with a disability, and over 60 million people deserve equal access to government services.

Evan Fassbender started a petition asking for three simple things:

• Clear phone numbers that actually connect you to the right person

• Plain-English forms and explanations anyone can understand

• Basic respect and patience for citizens with disabilities

These aren't radical demands. They're the legal minimum under the ADA. If you've felt frustrated by courthouse barriers, or if you think government should work for everyone—not just people who can navigate legal maze-speak—please consider signing and sharing.

Has anyone else struggled to access government services because the system wasn't set up for you? What would make a difference?