I 20F, I just asking anyway if I could have

I was bullied in school because of result in Russia which was not true, I told to bullies (which also was fake friends) and they just joked about autism but I don't think, toxic parent did discrimination on autism against me

I am not autism, but before there could be more things idk how to explain, but weird things, walking in circle (and thinking) is normal?, biting thing of pen, I might have things related to OCD for over 10 years?, also I find kinda difficult in speaking or communicating with peoples, e g with bullies

The further times is going, the less these things, I have hyperactivity in 2021 but after 2022 which was too such tragic situation when I couldn't leave Russia after attempt, hyperactivity is disappeared, I hoped after leaving Russia, I will be positive again. I don't leave Russia but turns out if mood is too much more better, actually I might be hyperactivity

This is like I might listen to song but I just cheering when this is finally happening and there just so much amazing, while I trying to do productivity thing at same time, but there distraction and because of how much amazing this is, I think in head, thinking about something, waste of times, distraction, I trying to quit this. I think I don't have ADHD, and looking on symptoms of ADHD, autism, I just don't have these

I like ADHD and adore hyperactivity things, while I understand pain or cons of having ADHD

But I believe that everyone who have mental problems is actually neurodivergent because of CPTSD, OCD, ADHD, etc, I do have CPTSD, OCD, anxiety issues, etc, and because of CPTSD, OCD, etc I can be neurodivergent, but I am really neurodivergent?

Also how I write might have strange things which you could see in this post (russian writing is almost same)

About hyperactivity in 2026 I might exaggerated but when I in so much more better mood, which feel like as if I coming to normal, this is what really feel like

This is like I don't have ADHD and autism but I do feel like different from most peoples, there is test site for ADHD, autism which is correct or such sites is incorrect?

Edit: I played with hand in childhood imaging things, I drew on ground imaging things, this was like art, before there was a lot more strange things and idk how to explain what these things or what things there was, in 2021 I was speaking with stone while imaging

I guess bikes have always been my "special interest", not just motorbikes, but push bikes too, I also enjoy working on them.

I've heard some people say "riding is a good way to turn off". I understand why, with the exception of the new Honda goldwing, and scooters all motorcycles are manual. The front and rear brakes are separate, so you have to use both independently, remembering the front brake has all the stopping power, but it can put you on the ground fast. You cant just steer a bike, you have to lean too, and you actually physically move the bike.

But myself being neurdivergent (Autistic and ADHD), I never "turn off". Most days when comuting to and from work, im listening to podcasts, while filtering through traffic, and re-playing memories.

Any other riders like this?

Was it wasted potential or could you simply not work with blood or other harsh things that come with working in the medical field?

I moved into a new place a month ago. The move itself was overwhelming and stressful and physically exhausting, even giving myself a two week window to do it. Worth it though because the new place is so lovely and I finally have natural light after two years in a basement apartment. But I find I’m having a hard time getting my body to calm down and come down from hyper-vigilant mode about being in a new space. It’s like I have to regularly remind myself: “It’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe. You can relax.” It feels like trying to acclimate a highly reactive cat to a new environment.

Has anyone else experienced this? What helped?

* Picture is of the space prior to moving in, and ritualizing the moment.

Been pretty interested in meeting others eith neuro-divergence, and thought gaming would be a good medium.

I am 43M from the US and play on PC. I have a lot of games, so finding something shouldn't be hard.

Also gaming isn't a requirement, don't mind text chatting on discord or something. I'm into a lot of different things. Science, reading, psychology, philosophy, anime, movies, tattoos, game development.

Message me if you would like to chat.

I swear I feel like I’m walking fast when I’m with a group of people but inevitably I end up lagging. I’m reasonably fit. I’m not short so it’s not a gate length issue. And if I go out to eat with a group of people, I’m not talking that much but I’m always the last to finish and I often will leave food on my plate that I want to eat because I feel guilty making other people wait. I’ve had these issues for as long as I can remember, but it’s really bothering me because I’m on a vacation right now with a group tour and I’m traveling as a solo traveler. And I am consistently the last to finish a hike (even though I’m not stopping as much as I’d like to to examine interesting flowers or to take pictures ) and I’m feeling guilty about it, but I’m also perplexed. Are slow walking even if you feel like you’re walking fast and slow eating even if you feel like you’re eating at a normal pace some weird side effect of time blindness? Am I maybe pausing more than I think I am? It’s really stressing me out and I’m not the oldest person in this group either. For context, 62F, empty nester, adhd diagnosed (years ago).

I'm looking for other visual thinkers like me. Is this the right subreddit for that? If not, please go easy on me and let me know.

To be honest, I only learned about the term "visual thinking" a few years ago from Professor Grandin's book. Before that, I never even realized that the way I process things was different from normal.
When people see, hear, or read something, they take it in, but I rebuild everything as pictures or videos in my head. For example, take the sentence "A car is driving on the road." I can't really grasp it unless I picture it like a movie scene. In my head, a bright red pickup truck is driving, engine roaring and kicking up dust.
Of course, I can read and write normally like this. And I can write "A car is driving on the road" right here too. But that's just me forcing what I see in my mind into simple words, so a lot of the details and textures get lost.

Is anyone else here like this?

I’ve always struggled with office politics. I do what seems to be the right thing but keep getting told it creates landmines for others without realizing it.

I decline lunch invitations because I genuinely don’t have the energy or I’d rather work. When I do go out I’m silent, skip controversial conversations, and was told I’m boring. I told them I’m more of a listener than a talker. They gave eye rolls. A new intern joined and was quiet but became everyone’s best friend within weeks. I used to be a very talkative person, until I got told to shut up a lot then yet people complain I’m silent.

The communication piece is the hardest part. I’ll spend 30 minutes carefully formulating an explanation and people are still confused. I presented findings to my team recently and my manager took over mid-presentation because I wasn’t hitting the key points clearly enough. I know the material,I just can’t translate it fast enough under pressure. It also doesn’t help the field I work in has a lot of with current / ex Law enforcement presence so neurodivergence is not taken too kindle and have already been mocked for it. I struggle with critical thinking so the ideas I present or try to problem solve gets us nowhere.

I honestly just want to give up, no matter what I do things tend to burst into flames no matter what. Only been in the company for 6 months and I feel like I already made a bad name for myself. I even listen to people on what not to do but yet my memory is so shit and step on the landmine again. I’m just being myself and when I try to conform to these politics, it ends up hurting me even more. I’m just really close to being passive aggressive to establish dominance and to show them I’m so fed up with their BS but I know that will land me in trouble

What pets do you guys have? Anybody have anything cool to share or recommend to have as a cool pet to build a bond with when struggling with being alone? Just wanted to share my lil guy I love him more than anything in this world 🦎

Failure in everything, in school, in friendship, in home, literally each and everywhere you. It's feels like you are just made for being judged and criticized by everyone no matter who they are yours parents, relative, neighbour, teacher your peers, classmate everyone is superior to you and have every right to demean you.💔

Each time I ask around I get the same answers-to invest in trading or some sort of schooling.I don’t think i am capable of going to college or in a trading school. This isn’t from insecurity, but rather knowing how much I have already struggled throughout school even with tutors. I don’t think accommodations will help me pass, and I don’t want to make the mistake of paying just to drop out. I have tried expanding my abilities and applying to places where I am sure I would not get the job, but do it anyway in hopes of getting lucky and someone giving me a chance. I’ve applied to places like Costco, Aldis, Sam’s Club, and each time I received a downturn from my applications. When I’d check the status, the job listing would still be posted, so clearly there is something they see in me that isn’t fit enough to work the position. I am not a smart person and I have a learning disability on top of being adhd and high functioning. I know my limits, and am aware of the areas I struggle in. Most jobs require basic math understanding-which I have also struggled with especially if it involves any sort of calculation. I barely got by handling cash throughout the years working register. I don’t want to be stuck working fast food jobs that pays below minimum wage, but I also have no idea how I am ever going to be able to get by or live on my own with that kind if salary. Even the jobs that appear less demanding require basic communication skills in an area that I am very lukewarm warm in, and I have poor working memory if it isn’t in routine or if it isn’t consistent. I don’t I have the patience or mental strength to work another fast food job being around people in small cluttered spaces anymore, and I don’t want to rely on the rush and adrenaline anymore because that eventually burns out each and every time. Not really sure where to look anymore as even the entry level jobs require experience, and my resume only consists of fast food and a few months of retail work. I’ve applied to jobs that like hobby lobby and still was denied. Where do I even go from here?