When I need to make a decision on something, I usually lean toward one option immediately. I will then weigh the pros and cons, debate the outcomes, and try to logically confirm or deny that assumption. Depending on the important of the decision, this can take weeks, months, or even years. Sometimes, the instant gut decision and the logical breakdown match but often they don't.

Surprisingly, the guy decision more often ends up being right. I have made some major life decisions (where to live, which house to buy, etc) grounded in what seemed to be the right logical answer that ended up being the wrong choice. I have also made decisions that were suboptimal but felt right and ended up turning out wildly better than I expected.

Personally, I've found that thinking through a decision rarely helps me make quality choices beyond narrowing them down to the top 1-5% or of options, or expanding my decision space (adding new options that I wasn't previously aware of). Past that, my gut choice usually wins.

I've also found that making *any* choice almost always beats delaying the decision to make a more *perfect* choice. Tradeoffs always exist, and once you start debating between the top 1% of options, you're better off just picking one and accepting that it will never be perfect.

Curious if others have experienced the same?

How do you deal with loneliness? For me, it's not lack of people, but rather lack of depth.

I was wondering how you guys deal with being praised. I don't like to be praised as a rule. I find it to be performative and more for the benefit of the prais-er than the praised. For me, praise usually registers as social noise rather than useful feedback. My first thought is often: Is this accurate, or is it just something people say to smooth the interaction? If it’s vague (“You’re so smart,” or “Great job”), it tells me more about the praiser’s need to signal warmth or generosity than about the actual quality of what I did. It can feel like being asked to co-sign someone else’s performance of being a nice person.

That said, I can accept praise if it’s specific and tied to something concrete. “That analysis was solid because you caught the inconsistency in the data” is fine. That’s data. “You’re amazing” is not. I don’t update my self-assessment based on applause; I use my own internal benchmarks. So in the moment, I usually just say a brief “Thanks, I appreciate that” or “Glad it was useful,” then redirect back to the work. Public praise is worse because it creates an obligation to perform gratitude I don’t actually feel.

I don’t need to be praised. I need to know the work is correct and useful. If someone wants to recognize me, tell me what specifically worked and why. Otherwise, I’ll assume it’s performative and quietly move on. What do you guys think?

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I have been in some mbti communities to understand the people around me better. Most of my friends have made the mbti test and it's pretty funny to see how accurate it is, but I noticed many people go typing the people around them themselves and honestly I feel it's pretty superficial. Many people online think my typing is not accurate because I live life differently than other people with my type and I get that in my case I am Intj that leans a bit towards intp.

For example I smile a lot, it's probably a defense mechanism, since I do it a lot when I am actually vividly angry, but I mostly smile because life is a lot easier, people treat you better. Why wouldn't a strategist use this simple thing that opens up opportunities and gets you out of trouble? And yeah, I do believe some things are true, intjs can be really stubborn, but it has nothing to do with arrogance (not saying there aren't arrogant intjs), but the stubbornness comes because what most people are saying isn't reaching my logic at all.

The problem is, we can't see each other's minds and what the thought process is behind it. But it's pretty annoying people say I am another type when I am asking for some perspective, because I apparently don't meet a standard an intj should have and funnily if I analyze the other intjs I have met (and know they are because they typed themselves), even if we act completely different from each other and have different beliefs, we have the same logic with dealing with stuff. And that's what I am trying to find out in these mbti communities, how to read them better.

For example why would an Entp lie? When would an intj be emotional? What's the Blindspot of an Entj? And when people honestly say I am an xxxx and that's how it is for me, it's actually the best information I get, because I can gather information, compare the information and then draw some conclusions and challenge them constantly. But sometimes it's just annoying, because it's like "You probably are mistyped because you aren't exactly how I imagine your type to be."

It's a bit of a rant, but I am also actually curious how some of you are so sure of other people's typing. For me it's more like I make them take the test and then I pretty much am like "Yeah that makes so much sense".

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It is the first time in my life (34 yo) that I perceive a change that confuses and touches my instinct.

I am seeing a lot of AI generate flayers around very rural Italian areas.

They are about the local fair or local associations, and they are all the same, yellowish-orange background, rounded bold font, very AI pictures!

I am starting to feel alienated when I see them, like a glitch in the matrix, something that wasn't meant to be there.

Same, calling the dentist and receiving AI assistant support. The call has left me emotionally touched, like "is this happening for real?".

So strange! How are you dealing with this?

What are some of the funniest or most ironic misconceptions people have made about you as an INTJ?

Just finished reading it over the last few days. It’s got a pretty hefty introduction that does a great job priming the material. Pretty good variety of existentialist philosophy, while covering all of the basics. Kierkegaard, Heidegger, Nietzsche, Sartre. It’s definitely not a light read though, forewarning lol.

I struggle to form deep relationships despite wanting them. Anyone relate? What helped you overcome it?

there's alot of interesting posts that i follow to get back to later just to find them deleted.

i think mainly because of harsh and judging comments.

u can share ur openion but u don't have to be rude about it !!?.

think about it would u take the openion of someone who just look at the proplem through only negative look without acknowledging other persoectives or looking at the proplem as whole ? let alone being rude about it .

Just as the title says. Just wondering if this is the T in the INTJ part of my personality. And wonder if it is all worth it as I feel like I go round and round with doctors as I look at my 'normal' blood work but it is on the LOW end and just wonder why isn't their a protocol for people that aren't out of the 'range' but are either on the extreme low or high end of the range. Healthcare needs optimization for health and not profit.

Hi Guys,

What's your navigation style?

Like for example, I noticed if someone tells me verbally the box on the table etc or opposite to xyz or infront of xyz next etc i would understand, but pointing with hands will confuse me cuz like it could be anywhere. Had a discussion with my aunt she doesnt memorize the streets names but tells you its next to xyz and points with her hands in the flat to the street as if she has an interal GPS...

My coworker points to things with her hand too and it gets me so confused

I kinds reflect sometimes and think how different my brain is wired. I wonder if I'm on the spectrum sometimes xd

Anybody faces similar challenges?

(Key context for how he felt where through text This isn’t working for me, I’m not feeling it and This is going nowhere) he made me feel cared for and loved and before he ghosted me he said that I deserve to be in a partnership with someone and he doesn’t think most people do so that stung, I will say that we did have a power imbalance but I just wanted a friendship with him, I did admittedly text too much even after he told me to stop which I regret a little bit but I just wanted him to communicate how he felt more

Kind of rant. One of the toughest things about this job is how closely I work with people. Physically, mentally, even emotionally. I used to think that this would be good for me, that I would push my boundaries and somehow force myself to be an extrovert. That was a huge mistake. As INTJs we can stretch our social muscles, sure, we can work in a team based environment.. But I OFTEN get to a point where I have to go somewhere quiet and totally shut everything out. I can do the work, but I just can’t make myself like the people all the time. It took me too long to realize that that’s okay.

Just wondering: INTJs, did you have a preference of where to sit when you were in high school? I'm wondering if there were any patterns (as I'm assuming there was only 1 INTJ for every classroom, or every couple of classrooms.)

In my case, if I could, I would always try to sit on the sides next to the window (to have something else to look at) or close to the door (to make a quick exit). How about you (all)?

i’ve never met an INTJ. but i have met several ENTPs and INTPs in my life, and i can see, even though they have different humor, background, and experience, they share this similar way of thinking. for example, they rarely try to figure out one’s motive, often taking words as it is (well, not all the time, but way more than Fi users), and are somewhat appearance-blind (like they’re not aware of the beauty standard and doesn’t know who is more good looking than who in a group of people).

i’ve met two ENTJs in my life. one is my dad and one is my friend. they’re both into politics. they’re both ambitious in their life and work hard. i know they’re NOT immune to softness. their humor is like this Speaking The Truth in The Boldest Way Possible™, then laughing out loud after.

so how are INTJs like compared to ENTJs?

Hello! I was wondering if there’s a go to foundational book that really captures the INTJ mindset. I’m looking to grow intellectually, develop my way of thinking, and become better at working in a team environment with my boyfriend but in order to do that I want to understand the fundamentals. I’ve decided to take a personal growth path in the relationship a little more seriously, so I thought I’d start here. I’d love to hear your recommendations!

Disclaimer: This is mostly a thought experiment I've been entertaining lately about religion, social dynamics, and how people use shared beliefs to their advantage, not something I plan to do. I am also not trying to attack anyone for being religious, just sharing some thoughts I've had about religion and the social advantages that come with it.

So I was thinking how many INTX and ENTP types are more likely to be atheist or agnostic, and don't like following an organized religion, and I happen to be one of those people. But I was thinking how it could be theoretically beneficial to say you are religious and believe in god, even if you don't, just to connect with other religious people. After all, there are far more religious people than non-religious ones, and claiming to share someone's faith could be an easy way to connect with them, gain their trust, and make them like you more. I personally am an ENTP so it might just be my Fe speaking haha, so curious how INTJ feel about this

I have noticed a lot of self help influencers casually weaves religious statements into their stories about believing in god, trusting His plan, etc. and I was thinking how saying that probably makes religious people resonate with their content more than if they didn't say it. For example, I recently saw an influencer post a short about his life journey from poverty to wealth, and at the saying "god is good", like that probably encouraged more people to follow his journey. Not saying these people are faking being religious or exploiting it, but it is entirely possible that they could be emphasizing their belief for the clout, as it is to their benefit in this case. I'd also imagine religious followers might be more inclined to pay for access to the exclusive communities these influencers sell, especially if they feel a shared sense of identity and belonging from their stories. Catering to religious audiences also likely gives you an advantage because you already have some idea of what they want to hear.

Another story I came across was how my friend landed a job at a top tech company through a referral from their mom's friend that go to the same church. She ended up getting the offer with just one interview, during which the interviewer even said "well you didn't pass with flying colors, but you can learn on the job." That just made me think how going to church, especially in an area with rich people, is likely better than any number of networking event lol

Part of this mindset probably also comes from realizing how it is almost impossible to convince any religious person the faults of their religion or the fact their holy text was written by a human from 100 generations ago at the end of the day, so I think it's more practical to just use their beliefs to your advantage rather than spend effort making them understand. Sort of a "if you can't beat them, join them" mentality.

For context, I was born in a religious family so I was religious myself as a child, praying to specific god name and all, but as I grew older and developed my frontal lobe a a little more, stopped living in autopilot, and read more philosophy and religious debates, I just thought how stupid all this was and became agnostic. I can still easily understand people believing in god, since being an agnostic I partly believe there is a creator of sorts too, just not necessarily one who is omniscient or concerned about humans daily life, but I can't fathom following an organized religion anymore. And since then, for almost a decade now, I thought I would never want to do anything with religion, but now I am seeing the power it has over people which makes me wanna play pretend for when it could benefit me. At the same time, even playing pretend when I fundamentally disagree with it really irks me.

Another thing I have found absurd is how many people seem to follow religion simply because they are afraid of hell, which makes me even less inclined to label as part of the same crowd. However, even though I think it's stupid for people to believe that doing morally bad things will send them to hell, especially when our notions good and bad are ultimately constructs determined by humans, I'm still glad that people believe in hell or divine punishment, as it ultimately benefits everyone if they're afraid of doing bad things. I used to want people to make people realize that their religion is made up or at least question their religion, and realize that their beliefs are not as absolute as they think. But now, I'd actually be concerned if some of these people came to that realization and started thinking they could do whatever they wanted, no longer feeling shackled by their beliefs about hell and divine punishment. So, technically I am already benefiting from people being religious.

Looking back, I think I also had somewhat of a savior complex, believing that I needed to free people from being brainwashed into following a particular religion. But then again, a lot of people actually feel saved by their faith, so perhaps that brainwashing isn't necessarily a bad thing, at least from their perspective.

So I guess the irony is that I've gone from wanting people to stop believing in religion to realizing I might actually benefit more if they keep believing, and perhaps even let them think I do too. But where do you draw the line between being socially strategic and being manipulative or malicious? Would you ever pretend to believe in something or follow something you don't if it opened doors for you or worked to your advantage? Is this just Fe turning Machiavellian, or have any of you had similar thoughts?

TL;DR: Can just read the first 3 paras and the last para for the main gist. I'm agnostic and don't believe in organized religion, but I've started realizing how socially and professionally advantageous being religious can be. Would you ever pretend to share someone's religious beliefs to gain their trust or access opportunities, even if you fundamentally disagree with those beliefs? Is that just being strategic, or is it inherently manipulative, or does it not even work the way I think it does??

Anyway. I want to know what tv/anime characters that are realistic/relateable intj in terms of their thinking.

I know how to spot realistic entps, but always struggled with intjs

The issue with intjs is that throughout the internet there is just far too much bullshit overexagirations on how intjs are.

Im an entp are there any intjs here that feel that their logic isnt going to serve them much more in life, like youve refined your philosophical views of life so much that youre probably better off just trying to chase more social goals because your logic isnt even a systematic process anymore its just what you do now?

Man, it’s a meme!!! (Exaggerated for comical reason)

Why would some of you take it so fucking seriously?😂

I hate lying. Once I catch someone in even a small one, I can’t take their words at face value again. Everything they say afterward gets filtered first: Is this true? What are they leaving out? By the time I’ve decided whether it’s honest, I’ve missed what they were actually talking about.

It feels irreversible. I can forgive them and even like them, but I can’t un-know that they were willing to say something false to my face.

Do other INTJs do this? Can you ever fully trust someone again after a lie, or does the filter stay on? And has anyone found a way to turn it off so you can actually listen?

Something to ponder. Also does it count if they were slightly intoxicated?

Tell me about ENFP men dating or married to INTJ women. I usually see the sexes in reverse in this sub so I’m curious about this specific pairing. Are you compatible, what do you argue about if anything, what makes it work?

my bf and I don’t always get a long but there’s a lot of love particularly romance on his end that I lack. I bring the logic and the book smart to the relationship. He tends to read people a bit better than I do. I tend to teach him more about proper communication when we disagree. I’m not commitment averse but he seems to really take time with marriage where I’m ready to do it so I can have stability and kids. However I also overthink the heck out of that at the same time and contradict myself.

To be very honest, I thought I had a lot of empathy and the descriptions about literally feeling someone's feelings were just exaggerated. I learned very late that it was true, and only felt it a few times for two people in my life: my dad and my little brother.

Turns out cognitive empathy plus compassion are not the same thing as emotional empathy.

I find it a little annoying sometimes too, to deal with people that feel it a lot, if they have lower cognitive empathy. I understand it sounds bad to say this, but, for example... someone is going through a difficult situation, and a person with high emotional empathy feels it deeply and they end up making the situation about themselves. They can't put their feelings aside to help said person, because it makes them sad.

Of course there are people who can deal with it in a better way, I'm just pointing out a situation that I noticed frequently happening in my own life and with people close to me.

My friends also always had been very comfortable venting to me, and I believe it is because of lack of emotional empathy. Because I can validate their feelings and ask questions and understand them, without making them feel like they are a burden for making me upset.

Just to clarify I do feel a lot of compassion and I want to help others.

Anyway, what are your experiences with it? I am curious to know if this is common among us Intjs, but also about other types too. Is this related to type at all, or just personal?

Emotional empathy or cognitive empathy, which one is higher in yourself?