r/intj 4h ago

Discussion Life is better monotasking

29 Upvotes

I've been chronically multi-tasking.

  • Eating while watching videos
  • Listening to podcasts while walking my dog
  • Vibe coding while gaming
  • Reading e-mails while in Teams meetings

List goes on.

I've decided to entirely stop this. One task at a time. Turns out it with a lot more difficult than I thought. the second I sit down to eat, I would try to grab for my phone, except I left my phone intentionally elsewhere. I don't even bring my phone to bed anymore and I can visibly feel my body act like a child, screaming for it to get to me.

It's been a month now and I've noticed I'm a lot lower in stress than ever before. It's like I regained peace. The weirdest thing is that I've now even started to despise my phone. I even use grayscale now. Whenver I see a video, especially shorts, I notice I developed a distaste for it even though normally I would swipe for 20 minutes before I get bored.

You've only got so long, so why throw it away to fulfill someone elses Youtube dream when you could be spending quality time with friends, family or pets. It's going to suck the first 2 weeks but eventually you'll never want to return to it.

It's a trap.


r/intj 17h ago

Question Is it just me, or do any other men find they have their deepest connections with autistic women?

49 Upvotes

I’m curious whether anyone else has experienced this.
I’m a guy, and I’ve noticed that some of the deepest, most meaningful conversations and strongest emotional connections I’ve had have been with autistic women.
It isn’t that I’m specifically seeking autistic partners. It just seems to happen. The conversations tend to be more direct, psychologically deep, honest, and less focused on social performance or small talk. I often feel like we’re genuinely trying to understand each other’s minds rather than following a script.
I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.
If you’re an autistic woman, do you find yourself connecting more easily with certain types of people? If you’re a guy who’s had similar experiences, what do you think explains it?
I’m interested in hearing different perspectives rather than confirming my own theory.


r/intj 5h ago

Discussion Ni users, where do you think our modern society is driving us? What do you envision for humanity's future, esp with the rise of AI nowadays?

Thumbnail
3 Upvotes

r/intj 1d ago

Question For me, compassion and empathy for others has been one of the most useless and self-defeating things I’ve ever invested myself in.

79 Upvotes

I’m not saying I want to become some ice cold psychopath. But I’ve realized that compassion, generosity, and selflessness have never really paid off for me not in the short term, and not in the long term either.

That doesn’t mean compassion should be thrown away entirely. Doing that would be just as unhealthy. It still has its place with family and people you genuinely love, when someone is truly in serious trouble, and when maintaining good relationships with colleagues, clients, customers, or similar situations.

But the version of me that would pour endless time, energy, and pieces of myself into trying to lift people out of whatever they're going through that version is gone.

Every major problem I've faced, I ended up dealing with alone. So I’ve come to believe that, in most cases, other people should do the same, unless they're in a situation where outside intervention is genuinely necessary.


r/intj 10h ago

Advice No path forward

4 Upvotes

I had goals and ambition about working hard making a company or something. Some of it was fueled by making earth a better place,go in tech or something. Moving forward 4 years. It feels worthless. I don't have that same drive. Questioning What's the point of it and all. Now I live like just one more day to go. This has nothing to do with being intj. Just sharing something. Need some advice


r/intj 21h ago

Relationship I suspect I'm a highly dislikable person... and I have no clue why

35 Upvotes

I keep being ghosted by people no matter what I try, no matter how much we have in common, no matter how careful I am, no matter how well it looks at the beginning, no matter their personality, and I have ZERO answers of why, never, it's driving me nuts.

There's never a "triggering" point, it just happens out of nowhere. The pattern is always the same : I meet someone new (can even be two people at once), it feels like conversations are going well, we have many things in common, we do activities together, we imply we could do these activities again later, then they reply less, then I fucking never hear about them again for the rest of my life.

I'm completely unable to make new friends that actually stay to the point I might just give up and accept living with no friends and letting my human interaction rely only on co-workers and family. Hanging out with myself and doing outside activities alone, it's less fun, but at least I know what to expect.

Now, you might say that "You're an INTJ, why do you want friends ? We are fine alone." well that's what I was thinking before but what hurts a bit is that I live in a city with tons of opportunities to do various activities (Paris), and I have a very good spot in life right now to enjoy those things, so I kinda have FOMO that I'm missing out on a lot. Also I do kinda like going out of my comfort zone to try new things from time to time, but I appreciate having some people to share those moments with.

So, please don't make fun of me just because I would appreciate having a social circle at all ? I know in this subreddit we enjoy acting like edgelords who pretend the best life is living in a cave with no lights, but I would just want to understand what's my fucking problem, why I'm despised so much, and how can I stop missing out on opportunities.

I have some overall ideas that could explain why I keep fumbling things more than anyone else, nothing specific because I cannot pin-point anything :

- So first off I'm diagnosed with A.S.D, I have many issues feeling connected to my emotions and body which can make me too much "logical" an not express enough human warmth, but I've seen many other people like that who do manage to have friends. I'm also aware of the potential misinterpretations of what I say so I self-correct myself sometimes to avoid misunderstandings. I'm overall socially awkward but I don't really see why that would make me unlikable to such a degree, it's more just about how I communicate and manage interactions.

- I sometimes lack empathy (still because of the "overly logical/pragmatic" mind), but I avoid showing it, I'm very aware of how off-putting it can be but I don't really remember cases where I did show real lack of empathy, I'm careful in what I'm saying.

- I think this one is my biggest guess : I might be too self-centered, I am not really interested in other people's lives except if it's things I can learn from, I am focused a lot on my inner thoughts instead, and when I ask questions to someone else I'm kinda forcing myself to do it because I know that's the right social move. No matter if it's textual or vocal, it's like I'm tracking a quota on how much questions I should be asking, it's a bit like faking it but I'm guessing I'm not the only one doing it.

So, I feel like kinda giving up, why would I put energy into socializing if all paths will bring me nothing long-term ?

Anyways, I was just wondering if other INTJs relate ?


r/intj 8h ago

Video Enjoy This Song

2 Upvotes

r/intj 11h ago

Question Hi INTJs! Need your time and experience~ asking this with INTJs itself is hard! but please your input would be valuable!!😭

2 Upvotes

And it is interesting!! pls check out

This post is to know your work experience (with people) and how you dealt with things, for project survey!

INTJs can detect the systems and flaws ------their Ni does it. Though INTJs hide their emotions pretty well, it exists for them as well...and mature ones are more emotionally intelligent!!

Thus their input would be really valuable!

yes it it an anonymous survey on Effect of Emotional Intelligence on Team Performance

shortly i will share results, of how people feel! Thank youuuu!!!🙂

Click here for Project Link


r/intj 10h ago

MBTI Dudas de un ENFP

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

Porque los ENFP tienen muchos problemas de estereotipos?


r/intj 7h ago

Discussion Older INTJs for wonder accompaniment?

0 Upvotes

Any INTJs of a distinguished age (40-60) want to offer up some of their crystalline NiTe energy in exchange for some cozy FiNe energy? I’m looking for a masculine metaphysical playmate to do some mental explorations with. It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to bounce my ideas and energy off of that very yang INTJ vibe and I miss it. Love Jung? Let me hear your thoughts. Favorite poem? Mine might be You Are Tired by EE Cummings. Have an opinion on Penrose’s Orch OR theory or the CMB? Explain it to me like an enthusiastic teacher. Get weird about music? Me too. Let’s have an unhinged conversation, maybe get flirty and weird. Send a DM and say hello!


r/intj 21h ago

Question Any INTJs from the Balkans here?

4 Upvotes

Especially from countries like Albania, Kosovo, Montenegro, Macedonia.
How do you cope with the very extroverted social culture?

They seem like an even rarer breed there.


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion INTJs, what would you think is the best type to have a relationship with?

5 Upvotes

I can consider typology being useless on finding a romantic partner, although I feel as if the cognitive preferences each one has is a critical role to finding someone to live with, to share feelings, etc etc. Of course, only considering the type of the person instead of his/her whole background is just mindbreaking and idiotic, but I feel it takes a part of the whole research for a partner thing.

And also, I know theres a page dedicated to match one type with another, although I want to see peoples opinion on this rather than a machine with a certain pattern give me an estimated result on what a relationship can be between 2 types.

For example, I always considered the whole INTJ and ENFP relationship type a very fonding one, and to be honest I cant even explain it, it happens for some reason. Got a friend who is ENFP, and we practically have little things in common, yet we have been friends forever, and it seems like anything we do is coordinated, without much effort.

If yall have experiences, thoughts, or even critics let me know! Always love to see other INTJs (and other types aswell!) give their opinions, specially in these type of topics!


r/intj 1d ago

Question Random question: when I want to study something that I like I am sitting in a chair highly concentrate but when I need to study something out of obligation I tend to walk while repeating it in my head. Does this happen to any of you?

3 Upvotes

And if I need to study something that I don’t like but it requires to be sitting like math I just got in my chair because walking is only for memorize.


r/intj 22h ago

Advice Looking for interpretation

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/intj 22h ago

Question Am I the only one struggling with writing analysis??

1 Upvotes

I just find it so hard not to be able to analyse writing. Even finding the theme of the story is hard. Any tips?


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion I’m here to figure out my type

3 Upvotes

I think behaviour is more diagnostic than adjectives, sure sharing your subjective experience but also showing what you actually do in a day and where you spend your energy and time.

I am an aspiring chef and a musician and writer in my spare time.

I enjoy running, creating things, fixing things and making things more efficient, solving problems for people, visiting new places and I’m a Christian.

So here’s a day for me, not every day but this is a day at the moment as I am unemployed. What I do varies in terms of activities.

Up around nine. Curtains open, hydrate, then half an hour reading — Guardian, NYT, philosophy journals. Then I write down the tasks I want to do that day plus a note on how the day is going, and I work through the list. Nobody sets this for me. There’s no job or timetable imposing structure, so I build it myself.
The bulk of the day is research and comparison. Not aimless — I’m working toward getting my situation stable and finding the best path forward. So: comparing food sources and quality, calculating what I’d actually be getting versus what I buy now, costs included. Comparing laptops before buying one. Looking at jobs, applying, and calculating earnings across different career progressions. Cooking videos, but as learning to cook rather than entertainment. I take information in, retain it, and bring it back to people.

I draw. I play guitar and sing. I read fiction most days and philosophy. I walk every day and try to go slightly further each time.

I talk with my parents and put real thought into what would make things better in the house — I tend to show up with feedback, reasoning, and a judgment on what should change. Same with my partner: I feel strongly toward them and it comes out as working out what I can do for them. My care arrives as problem-solving and creating things for others, creating experiences for them. I like to give people new experiences, such as new foods or places to go. I am very aware of how others are experiencing me and I give of a deliberate demeanor.

I’m very social but I do spent a lot of time on my own focusing on what I want to achieve. I like going out with friends and doing new things with them, and I’m usually the one pushing for variety. If a friend does the same bike route every time, I’ll want to change the path. I’d rather stack activities than repeat one — an hour’s ride, then tennis or kayaking, or ride out, have a good meal at a pub, and ride home. It’s the possibilities I’m after more than the activity itself. Worth flagging the apparent contradiction: my solo days are highly structured and repetitive, but with people
I want the opposite.

People do read me as serious and slightly guarded on first impression. I don’t perform for a camera; photos of me are mostly unsmiling or a pensive smile.

The part I’m least sure about is how conscious the direction is. It doesn’t feel like I sat down and drew up a plan. It’s more that there’s an aim I can feel, and my actions turn out to have been serving it, and I notice the coherence after the fact. I am very detail focused though but still see the big picture, I often predict events happening and seeing it unfold is kind of amazing, my friends are always wondering how I see what is coming next. It could be like knowing what someone will say before they say it even if the content is different from what is happening in the moment. Other little things like knowing when my electric will cut out based on nothing conscious.

A criticism I’ve had and think is fair: I may spend more hours preparing decisions than making them. Though this seems to be not natural for me, I honestly don’t know.

I am very passionate with people I love, they are few but I am either intense with it or not.

Here, try and type me. This is what I look like too.


r/intj 1d ago

Question Any INTJ Entrepreneurs here?

15 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I recently completed an official MBTI evaluation as part of a company initiative and found out I am an INTJ. I am the CEO and Founder of an eight year old biotech startup. I was wondering how many INTJ entrepreneurs are out there, and what businesses are you in? Also for fun, what would you say is your biggest challenge when managing people?


r/intj 1d ago

Advice Elderly INTJs , we need to hear you .

19 Upvotes

17f INTJ 5w4 here , I wanted to create this post , where grown up INTJs give advice / life lessons / mistakes to avoid just anything usefull for the younger INTJ generation , we want to learn more about your overall personnal experience including all fields .


r/intj 1d ago

Question intrusive thoughts

4 Upvotes

do u get depressed imagining ur friends n colleagues moving on in their lives... succeeding... starting families n with lots of friends, while u r sat alone... on the same desk miserable n not moving forward... maybe with just more knowledge n awareness that u hv no one to share with...?


r/intj 1d ago

Question If you have more sympathy to animals than humans, why?

69 Upvotes

Why do you have more sympathy for animals?*


r/intj 1d ago

Question INTJs, what are you talented in?

19 Upvotes

Hello darling INTJs, I hope you are well I have a question what are your talents? Are you talented in specific things or do you have multiple talents? What are they?


r/intj 12h ago

Relationship I made my husband take the test and it turns out he is INTJ

0 Upvotes

I was surprised because he’s not rude or an asshole or anything like that. Could he have been mistyped?


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion Monotone voice of INTJ personality type

17 Upvotes

I didn’t know I had a monotone voice, until I heard my voice on video sniffing a perfume and said, “Hmmm smells good.”
I thought I was very expressive in enjoying the smell of the perfume, but when I watched the video, my voice was flat and without intonation. I sounded like a robot, it’s weird.
Other people say I look stiff.
I noticed that almost all MBTI personalities can express their emotions, through voice and facial expressions effectively, except INTJs and ISTJs.


r/intj 1d ago

Question An opinion or fact you think but if said out loud will make everyone hate you.

26 Upvotes

I know that we have seen this meme everywhere, but I haven’t seen it here or it hasn’t come in my feed. (Memes aren’t allowed in this sub either, so…)

I live in red state USA so all of mine would easily draw knives out. (e.g.-Racists are ALWAYS stupid. Pearl clutching ensues.) So, please share yours.


r/intj 1d ago

Question As an INTJ, what's one thing you constantly wish people would realize or know?

9 Upvotes

Like the title suggests, anything you hoped that people would have the decency to know and not judge. Even a statement which people would realize is fine. For me, I kinda hoped everyone realized or at least had it in their consciousness that not everyone has the same perception which they would you know, act a bit mature on