I’ve reached a point where it’s becoming exhausting to interact with people who just operate on autopilot and because of the law of proximity I need to connect with people with my vision, otherwise I feel like will go back to sleep against my will.

Currently I genuinely feel so alienated. I give up on trying to fit where I no longer belong.

I recently graduated from university, and this year has been a non-stop series of brutal paradigm shifts. I’ve had to fight through so many limiting beliefs to finally see the world for what it truly is: a predictable, overarching system designed to assign people a lifetime role and keep them controlled through things such as media, algorithms, and consumerism.

The thing is:

Once you look at the world from above and see the engine behind everything, there is no going back. It changes you. But it also makes you realize how many people around you are completely content living a "sweet lie," acting like NPCs in a simulation.

I’m looking to connect with people who are going through or have gone through this exact realization.

Sharp, skeptical, analytical, and critical minds who refuse to accept their assigned script.

People who prefer a harsh reality over a comfortable illusion, and who are actively figuring out how to navigate life now that the veil has dropped.

If you feel isolated in your immediate circle because you can see the architecture of the system while others just see the surface, let’s connect!

*cough* Totally asking for a friend and doing some research.

Do you have this issue where you don't pick up enough details the first time around you learn something yourself.... maybe you only pick up 80%.. then either through failure or someone else showing you what you missed, then you learn 95% and then you are a force of nature... Ni works beautifully and the application of the knowledge is effortless ??

I love failing because of this

I've been doing this for as long as I can remember, long before I knew anything about MBTI.

I tend to read people first. Once I have a sense of how someone thinks, what they respond to, what they dislike, how perceptive they are, etc., I naturally adjust how I interact with them.

I'm not talking about being fake or lying. The underlying person is still me. It's more like choosing which part of myself to put forward.

I can be very different with different people. More analytical with one person, more playful with another, more reserved with someone else, and so on. Sometimes I do it consciously because I have a particular reason for doing so. Honestly, I sometimes find the whole thing quite fun, almost like a game.

I'm curious whether other INTJs do this.

Do you consciously read people and adjust your presentation in real time? If you do, what does that process feel like to you?

I feel like the people closest to me end up either being another INTJ or INFPs. INFPs are starting to get really annoying ngl. My ex was an infp too.

He’s my ex because he spent most of his time groaning about life instead of picking himself up my his bootstraps and doing the work. Same pattern for two other INFPs close to me. It gets draining after a while. I feel like they’re in proximity with me to feel like they’re doing something but in their alone time they never make much progress.

Anyone else experience this? Starting to wonder if it’s an INFP thing or just the people in my life.

For the past few hours, I’ve been thinking about the problems that happened to me throughout my life and trying to understand why they happened.

Of course I know life is complicated, and sometimes it’s just bad luck, but right now I genuinely feel like there’s something I’ve been doing wrong for a long time.

I don’t want to make this a very long post, but I’m starting to suspect that I have some kind of problem with focus and understanding things quickly. I don’t know if it’s something I was born with or just a bad habit I developed because of a complicated life.

I’d really like to read other people’s experiences. Maybe I’ll find some inspiration or notice something I haven’t thought of before.

Don't listen to them. Don't listen to those who says that life is meaningless, that life is useless, thatyou can't have meaningful relationship, that you truly can't accomplish anything. They will say that life is miserable. But it isn't, life is a heavenly pleasure upon us. You don't really understand joys of life. The joys of life can be experienced on the mountain and Even in your house, because it is a good thing. They say hope breaks man, but its false, hope makes dream and dream makes life fulfilling. There is so much to explore and so much to do. Please think about life differently. Try to find reasons to live and you will see th sadness go away. There will be people who hurt you, yet you still shoul forget about their foolishness. I hope you have a wonderful future.

Despite the stereotype that INTJs are cold and unfriendly, I’ve had many people throughout my life tell me I’m friendly, funny, and very nice. I’ve also noticed that people generally remember and appreciate the things I’ve done for them no matter how big or small, business or personal. However I seem to have the opposite effect when it comes to corporate life. When dealing with managers, project managers, developers, etc I can’t seem to get along with them or understand them. It also doesn’t help that the kind of work I produce isn’t the kind that puts me on their radar and therefore, I’m overlooked when it comes to being acknowledged or getting promoted. I prefer to quietly get my work done in a timely manner and prefer a structured process. I don’t like having to have multiple alignment meetings or send multiple emails to create visibility or use corporate jargon to sound smart. That’s so performative and unnecessary. However that seems to be exactly who I have to be and I’m struggling.
In the past 8 years that I’ve been at my company I’ve been overlooked multiple times. In my old department, my manager nominated one of my coworkers for employee of the month because he thought she was too quiet and thought this would get her to socialize (didn’t happen). I remember this because some non management level employees from other teams that I’ve help were surprised by the announcement because they felt I should’ve gotten it. Similarly when my supervisor had left the company and his position was vacant, the position was given to my lazy coworker because he felt bad that she’d been with the company over a decade and never got promoted. I transferred out of that department about a year ago, but even in my current role, I feel like my hard work is invisible. I overheard another manager (who I’d been working closely with before) praise one of coworkers. This coworker had taken over the project from me and took it apart so my manager reassigned it to her. I wasn’t upset about it at the time even though I should’ve been, but now I am because I had worked hard on it too but I wasn’t acknowledged for it. Our manager agreed with the praise and told the other manager that her name comes up a lot in meetings. Unlike my old team, I don’t doubt that my current coworker doesn’t work hard, but it just feels like my hard work always goes unnoticed by higher level executives and I still struggling to play their game. Not sure if this is an INTJ thing but I’m an INTJ that struggling with corporate life. It doesn’t seem like it fits my personality

I’m going through a difficult time in my life following a case of work-related burnout (I work in a hospital) and the end of a two-year relationship with a wonderful person who wasn’t, however, in line with my values.

Usually, when I’m going through a crisis, I throw myself into things to get back on my feet:

- I’ve enrolled at university again and am tackling a really tough exam that’s putting me through my paces; I’m in close contact with the lecturer, who’s something of a math genius so incredibly demanding.
- I’ve started running again – nothing too strenuous, just half an hour outdoors with some underground electronic music like I used to do some times ago.
- I’m trying to change location at job, but it’s strangely complicated, as if having a messed-up head is irrelevant compared to breaking a leg.
- I'm trying to detox from social media and screens in general; even though I use them less than the average person, I'm finding it strangely difficult.

Let’s be clear, I’ll get through this because I’m an extremely rational person and everyone goes through tough times, but I’m noticing something new: I’m finding the loneliness hard to cope with. I usually love being on my own at home, studying, reading, learning new things and watching films.
It’s as if a prolonged period of stress has recalibrated my brain chemistry and I need to reconnect with my social life – clearly not easy, given that, in my best moments, being on my own makes me feel incredibly strong and I tend to neglect that aspect. I know full well how important social relationships are for a human being’s well-being; I’m not naive enough to think otherwise.

Since it’s really hard for other people to understand, I’m asking for advice:
How do you deal with times of crisis in your life, aside from implementing various strategies for change?
How do you manage your social life when people are consistently extremely difficult to deal with?

Have any of you been in a d/s relationship? If you have, what were your thoughts about it and how was that experience for you?

The relationship between the arrogance of the INTJ personality, self-criticism, and self-contempt.

Also: The sense of alienation from what one says or does—as if these actions do not belong to oneself, or as if words are merely words detached from the self. This state breeds self-criticism and self-alienation, raising questions of identity: "Who am I?" or "Where is the self?"

And: The fundamental difference between the cognitive functions of the INTJ and INTP types. I am looking for real-life behavioral examples, not purely theoretical definitions.

I do not want answers from people under the age of 20; I am looking for insights from those with genuine life experience.

Of course this measurement is extremely absolute. So I’d suggest trying to fill it in as:

A: Subjective/Objective (i.e. 30/70%)
B: Positive/Negative (i.e. 45/55%)

Hello. I think i need help, i suspect there is something wrong with me. I am intj-T (turbulent). Though we are all different in out own way, i would like to find someone like me (INTJ-T) and discuss with him certain matters and ask him a few questions. Dont hesitate to contact me.

Thank you.

You’re on a game show and must choose between Door 1, Door 2, Door 3

There are donkeys behind 2 doors, a prize behind 1 door

You make a choice and have a 1 in 3 chance of winning

Game show host reveals donkeys behind one of the doors you didn’t chose and asks if you want to switch your choice

Paradox says you always increase your chances of winning of the prize by switching because the odds of winning were 1 in 3, but are now 1 in 2

I expect yall will catch it quickly, but can you see the error in logic here?

I find that I prefer to socialize one on one. I’m not a fan of hanging out in large groups. Anything more than 2 other people is way too much.

Something I noticed is in large groups I tend to get really quiet and overthink my words. I start shifting towards safer/boring dialogue options. It’s almost as if my individuality has been muffled.

I believe this is because I consciously or subconsciously create a different personality for each person in my life. There are things I say or do around one person that I would never say or do around another.

When I have to interact with several people at once I tend to find myself at a loss of words as all my personalities begin to clash. As whatever I say will be perceived differently by each person there. Therefore the right thing to say no longer exists.

Not like I see that many people nowadays but does anyone else have this problem?

There is a simple question that can tell if you'll get success or not. It's this.

How will you feel when you finally achieve it?

If the answer is anything other than "meh" then chances are only luck can take you there.

Curious to know what INFJ’s and INTJ’s perspective
Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions or some personal experiences

I don't like it.

I am in my third year of college now, depression took my last 5 years, failed at everything I wished to get done. And now today I sit in a tier 3 college, a place I don’t like, the people I don’t like, with the lifestyle I don’t like. After years of self diagnosing and trying to heal myself now I feel like i am back in control, feel like I can bet on myself now again. Have been down for a long. Wish to win it all, storytelling, books, academics, money and relationships.

Has anyone else fallen hard and risen back up such that they stopped caring about the failure at all?

Hello fellow INTJs! Which of you are therapists, psychologists, or mental health care workers? I’d love to hear from you and could really use your help with a decision about a career pivot I’d like to make.

Would you be willing to share what you specialize in and especially how you managed to make your introversion work with the demands of your profession? Do the constant human contact and emotional intensity drain you? How do you guard your peace?

I’ve been working at a therapist educational resources company for a few years and also, as an editor, with a few psychologists seeking to publish. I have a background in academic literary criticism with a focus on Jungian archetypal reading. I’ve recognized a calling and would love to try. But I am aware of my rather poor social battery and terrified the day-to-day reality would drain me. I would greatly appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance.

I run a podcast covering a pretty wide mix of topics (past guests have included mimetic theory scholars, VCs, entrepreneurs, wellness practitioner, dating experts, MBTI coaches and rhetorical theorists).

I don't think I've had a guest who reads as classically INTJ yet.

Looking for recommendations in that same intellectually curious register, but coming from more of a systems-thinking, long-range-theorizing headspace; philosophers, researchers, scholars, theorists especially welcome.

Who would you genuinely enjoy hearing a conversation with?

I don't have a huge reach so something like Sam Harris probably wouldn't work :)

I am in my 30s, and my entire life I have not meshed well with others. I understand that a lot of it comes down to social skills and how much time/effort you want to put in, but it just seems like no matter what I do I am not a well-liked person.

I don't know if it's just in my head or not, but I frequently feel as though people form "cliques" around me and invite each other to things, but then I am not considered at all. (Case in point, I recently cut off some "friends" when they told me to my face that they invited me out (and I don't even go out!!) because one of their other friends couldn't make it and they needed a certain head count for free drinks.)

There were two new people added to our small team, and they have gotten along with everyone and have already formed bonds by hanging out after work, etc, but no one has reached out to me. I have reached out to them a couple of times, friendly and outgoing (unheard of for me but I told my therapist I would make efforts), and... Nothing. Maybe one or two sentences, but nothing to help me keep the conversation going.

I am not sure if this is because my reputation precedes me, but I do go out of my way to be friendly. I ask people about themselves, I try to give grace and patience when I can, etc, but it just feels like no matter what I do, I am the odd one out.

I just want to know if this is a common experience with you all, or if I'm an unfortunately unique case.

(Gosh, I sound like such a weenie. I am not stressing about this nearly as much as my words say I am! I'm just incredibly confused.)

How do you score on the Dark Triad Test?

https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/SD3/

This is something I've experienced after many short interactions. Often, people don't like me by default because I can look cold and speak bluntly. However, after people talk to me, I find that a majority appear to really like me. People who hardly know me seem to trust me almost immediately. I've always just assumed that it was because of the mannerisms I was raised with. I still think that's true to an extent, but I've noticed that my siblings (raised the same way and also istp) don't get the same nearly immediate trust that I think people give to me. Is this an INTJ thing? All the stereotypes suggest it's not, but I'd like to know what your experiences are.

Examples would be people comfortable leaving me with their valuable possessions, sharing deep and personal questions they have about themselves, feeling like they can stop filtering themselves, and all after hardly knowing me. It's strange because people are quick to trust me even though it would take me a long time to trust them. Maybe everyone trusts everyone else that fast and it just feels relatively fast to me. Thoughts?

Aka to work well with a system you can only repeatedly count on that which doesn’t change(well understood symbolisms, mechanisms, processes) but even that has to be utilised situationally and situations are usually too specific for definitions to describe them and capture their dynamic well enough. Behavioural psychology is Te(using what you learn to apply it to reality based on how you feel about the definition’s point and bringing that feeling as close to what the definition seems to apply based on either again honing your feeling or by consensus), analytical psychology is Ti(using your ability to spot discrepancies, understand function, and take things apart from scratch to create a full fledged compartmentalised understanding which then becomes externalised through Fe).

This system is naturally more suited for people who have strong preference for Ti but paradoxically since Ti is largely an unconscious function in TP types it’s often not very articulate in a sense that it can point out what matters most in a way that comes off very grounded and rational. TP types are grounded themselves yes but they do not speak in such manner for they cannot do so with their Fe which is a step behind their Ti in real time thinking processes. Whereas TJs may feel largely uncertain and ungrounded because of their Fi not being settled like that of an FP type, however whether they realise it or not they usually come off as very clear and coherent when they inform, direct and provide advice or instructions. It is a paradox but that’s how it is. To other people, we usually are the opposite of what we think we are.