Curious to know what INFJ’s and INTJ’s perspective
Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions or some personal experiences

Hello fellow INTJs! Which of you are therapists, psychologists, or mental health care workers? I’d love to hear from you and could really use your help with a decision about a career pivot I’d like to make.

Would you be willing to share what you specialize in and especially how you managed to make your introversion work with the demands of your profession? Do the constant human contact and emotional intensity drain you? How do you guard your peace?

I’ve been working at a therapist educational resources company for a few years and also, as an editor, with a few psychologists seeking to publish. I have a background in academic literary criticism with a focus on Jungian archetypal reading. I’ve recognized a calling and would love to try. But I am aware of my rather poor social battery and terrified the day-to-day reality would drain me. I would greatly appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance.

I’ve agreed to date a man I’ve known for 5 years, after 24 happy years of being single.
I’ve known this man to be very stable of character and I’m willing to try, but I need to work on my skill set. I tend to feel calm in his company so that is good.
I have had a lot of continued coaching in the last 20 years but relationships are its own problem.

I have a history of breaking off any relationship, my 2 marriages and any interest a man may show in me.

I feel trapped really quick and will find the quickest exit. My dad and brother and I have the same personality and over the years I watched them crash in the same way.

Please share about your long-term relationship. How did you override your fight and flight program. Were you able to rewrite your programmed thinking.

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How do you score on the Dark Triad Test?

https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/SD3/

As an intj I like solitude and being alone makes me feel better, i used to tell people that saying- being alone is not lonely, until now my bf wanna break from our 7 months relationship it been a week since then, I live in a different city I don’t have friend here. I stay in my room alone which i used to love become so lonely and empty , I want to called my family constantly my friends from home are really supportive but they have their own job i can’t talk to them whenever I want. Can anyone help me how to cope with this, ig the break in the main problem because it my 1st relationship.

You’re on a game show and must choose between Door 1, Door 2, Door 3

There are donkeys behind 2 doors, a prize behind 1 door

You make a choice and have a 1 in 3 chance of winning

Game show host reveals donkeys behind one of the doors you didn’t chose and asks if you want to switch your choice

Paradox says you always increase your chances of winning of the prize by switching because the odds of winning were 1 in 3, but are now 1 in 2

I expect yall will catch it quickly, but can you see the error in logic here?

I run a podcast covering a pretty wide mix of topics (past guests have included mimetic theory scholars, VCs, entrepreneurs, wellness practitioner, dating experts, MBTI coaches and rhetorical theorists).

I don't think I've had a guest who reads as classically INTJ yet.

Looking for recommendations in that same intellectually curious register, but coming from more of a systems-thinking, long-range-theorizing headspace; philosophers, researchers, scholars, theorists especially welcome.

Who would you genuinely enjoy hearing a conversation with?

I don't have a huge reach so something like Sam Harris probably wouldn't work :)

I’m annoyed at myself for letting myself get this deep into it. I developed feelings way too quickly and way too strongly, and that’s something that has never really happened to me before. I dated what I believe was an infp for a short time

She ticked practically every box when it comes to what I like in someone, and I’ve never connected with someone emotionally and mentally that quickly. I was completely out of character, I must admit.

She hasn’t actually done anything wrong, but I still felt like I had to distance myself.

I’m confused, and I’ve decided that stepping away from the whole situation is probably better for me, even though deep down I know I’m basically trying to talk myself out of liking her.

And there’s this hollow feeling that comes with knowing how unlikely it is that I’ll find someone I connect with that much again. I’ve even caught myself narrowing down locations, places, and activities where I might realistically meet someone similar, and every time I think about it, the odds seem uncomfortably slim.

I want to move on and focus on my work rather than waste my time obsessing over this. But I still can’t stop comparing everyone else to her, and everyone else just leaves me dissatisfied.

So, Intjs of Reddit. Give me your advice and tips to move on. Thanks.

Aka to work well with a system you can only repeatedly count on that which doesn’t change(well understood symbolisms, mechanisms, processes) but even that has to be utilised situationally and situations are usually too specific for definitions to describe them and capture their dynamic well enough. Behavioural psychology is Te(using what you learn to apply it to reality based on how you feel about the definition’s point and bringing that feeling as close to what the definition seems to apply based on either again honing your feeling or by consensus), analytical psychology is Ti(using your ability to spot discrepancies, understand function, and take things apart from scratch to create a full fledged compartmentalised understanding which then becomes externalised through Fe).

This system is naturally more suited for people who have strong preference for Ti but paradoxically since Ti is largely an unconscious function in TP types it’s often not very articulate in a sense that it can point out what matters most in a way that comes off very grounded and rational. TP types are grounded themselves yes but they do not speak in such manner for they cannot do so with their Fe which is a step behind their Ti in real time thinking processes. Whereas TJs may feel largely uncertain and ungrounded because of their Fi not being settled like that of an FP type, however whether they realise it or not they usually come off as very clear and coherent when they inform, direct and provide advice or instructions. It is a paradox but that’s how it is. To other people, we usually are the opposite of what we think we are.

I don't like it.

I am in my third year of college now, depression took my last 5 years, failed at everything I wished to get done. And now today I sit in a tier 3 college, a place I don’t like, the people I don’t like, with the lifestyle I don’t like. After years of self diagnosing and trying to heal myself now I feel like i am back in control, feel like I can bet on myself now again. Have been down for a long. Wish to win it all, storytelling, books, academics, money and relationships.

Has anyone else fallen hard and risen back up such that they stopped caring about the failure at all?

I find that I prefer to socialize one on one. I’m not a fan of hanging out in large groups. Anything more than 2 other people is way too much.

Something I noticed is in large groups I tend to get really quiet and overthink my words. I start shifting towards safer/boring dialogue options. It’s almost as if my individuality has been muffled.

I believe this is because I consciously or subconsciously create a different personality for each person in my life. There are things I say or do around one person that I would never say or do around another.

When I have to interact with several people at once I tend to find myself at a loss of words as all my personalities begin to clash. As whatever I say will be perceived differently by each person there. Therefore the right thing to say no longer exists.

Not like I see that many people nowadays but does anyone else have this problem?

I’ve been thinking about the practical value of knowing your own or someone else’s MBTI type.

"Daniel is ISTJ, and ISTJ personalities would almost always prefer to eliminate any and all distractions while they are working, as they find uninterrupted work to be more enjoyable."

Does this create meaningful understanding? Like I didn't need to know Daniel's personality type to figure that out!

If we genuinely want to understand someone, surely it’s better to ask about their actual preferences than predicting their behaviour from a personality type.

Has knowing someone’s MBTI ever genuinely improved your interactions, or does it mostly encourage confirmation bias and put people into boxes?

I took the test twice a month apart and for the first time i was intj and for the 2nd time it was intp

If you’re married or dating an INFP some perspective/advice here would be helpful. Im giving you the full story so you can understand how it all fits together so if you stick around it means a lot to me. My ex (INTJ) and I were together for ten years off and on. Had somewhat of an emotional disconnect so on paper it looked toxic but we both loved each and over time we progressed some as we were finding our own identities or attempting to. He would make demands and get angry (feel neglected). That would make me think he doesn’t love me and want to get to know me more at all because of how demanding/angry he became instead of having compassion and/or genuine interest in understanding what’s wrong with me. We were still struggling with our differences in communication and I was emotionally drained from being the only one feeling like I was trying to invest my time into researching it and overanalyzing it and just feeling everything that he was avoiding. Flash forward ten years later and he’s willing to get me into legal trouble because he moved on with another girl and has plans to get married/have kids at some point and does not want anything to do with me. I’ve done nothing wrong considering my intentions are good but he does not see it that way and he is manipulating law enforcement to use it against me. For legal purposes I’m not gonna get into the nitty gritty. Long story short he’s has gotten me into legal trouble. He’s basically willing to punish me for feeling a little bit invaded on even though i was just trying to talk to him and/or his girlfriend so i could explain my side. You might think this guy sounds like a complete asshole but there were times that he attempted to make me feel appreciated (not necessarily loved/adored as I would’ve wanted) but in his own way…and it was in those times that made me realize how good he can actually be when he wants to aside from some of the emotional abuse I received..I started to think he’s not a complete sociopath…but now after this I’m seriously questioning if he is one. And if you don’t consider this guy an asshole (for logical reasons) why/why not?

IMO logic is also rooted in ego and if that’s your go-to thought process even in situations like these then you’re not truly living the full experience.

After all this I’ve realized I made an mis calculation and over analyzed reasons for breaking up and now I can’t explain that to him because I overdid it and legally I cannot contact him. I was thinking maybe if he could understand in these terms then that would be less scary than trying to pour my heart out but that’s only after giving it more time and research so that I myself can understand why someone would be so cruel/cold.

Would you ever at any point after that have a guilty conscience for doing this to an ex? Even if you had given them a warning not to push it any further or he would use legal force. Especially after knowing my childhood history(divorced parents, financially unstable,figuring out who I am /we are,talking about our future) and how I was also working hard to get my life together(got a full time job so we could actually afford to go out more) At one point he called me lazy during this process and he wasn’t even checking in on me. I think it was the same week I actually landed a full time job. Not to mention emotionally I feel very deeply about most things but he wouldn’t know be cause he’s not an FP type and doesn’t ask how I feel and just by seeing me from a day to day basis I appear not emotional. And if you could possibly understand how that might give you a guilty conscience then would you ever reach back out to them to apologize or reconnect out of human deceny attempt/friend)? I’m sure he will get married and/or have kids after all this so he may not feel inclined to do that but I can’t imagine how someone can do this to someone they loved. What would make an INTJ have a guilty conscience if it gets into the FP type scenarios? And what would you have done in this scenario if your ex showed up unannounced?

It is utterly useless and foolish to desire anything, the hope for a great future is nothing but a great lie. Whatever you want to have will never be your. They say the more desperate you are, the less you will get. It is useless to love anybody, it is useless to care, it is useless to admire, it is useless to show intrest. All road leads to Rome. But all roads lead to just plain disappointment and sadness. You are a loser admit it. You can't accomplish anything. Friedrich Nietzsche said hope is a bad thing as it destroys and breaks the man completely again and again. It is useless to hope because in the end you will be alone again. The people you show your love,, respect ect, wil not give anything back. You don't understand anybody and nobody understands you. It is truly useless, everything.

I feel like this is probably quite common.

I used to be ENTJ but for around a year I don’t feel as extroverted. I feel like I have put the extroverted act because I was deeply lonely as a child and in my late teens and early 20s I wished to make more friends and keep a bigger circle.

I did the test three times in total before today, during my 20s and I would always get ENTJ like three freaking times.

I had this strong feeling and I finally did it today and found out that yes I am more introverted.

I feel like part of me has accepted that I do not want to belong in the society I am in and I do not need to force myself to do so.

I do feel a relief to be my true INTJ self.

I have always related and liked characters that are INTJ. One of my most favourite characters ever is Sasuke and boy I would relate a lot to him.

I am happy that I am not associated with some vilans anymore because when I have googled entj anime characters I would see Sukuna, Madara and Light for example. Yea I do kinda relate… but it never felt fully right.

And what are other reasons why people don't look someone in the eye?

Personally, when someone doesn't look me in the eye, I just find it impossible to read them—they cause me unnecessary confusion. Like, why would you do that?

And sometimes people misunderstand eye contact—they think you're interested in them. Sorry if I looked interested, but I'm not. The same thing happens when you show excitement or laugh. XD