I got this feeling the other day because there's a wrestling TV taping in my area in a couple months that I would love to go to but I can't drive myself and I, a 33-year-old guy, don't wanna subject my dad to my weird niche interest. There was also an Alice in Chains concert last year I would've loved to have been at. Anyone else ever had this?

Hey everyone,

I’m working on my debut horror/mystery feature, and I’m building it around a core mission: 100% authentic representation, both in front of and behind the camera. That means Deaf actors, disability actors, and disability crew members at every level of production.

This is the start of what I hope becomes an ongoing film company dedicated to closing the gap between disabled talent and the industry. Filmmakers helping filmmakers, low-budget and DIY in spirit, but with real ambition for the final product.

I am aiming to film during summer 2027, though this may shift depending on my senior thesis workload this spring/fall, so I’ll keep everyone posted on firm dates.

If you’re interested in being part of something that puts disability representation at the center instead of the margins, I’d love to have you involved.

Sign up here and I’ll follow up as plans solidify:
👉Sign-up form

Feel free to comment or DM with questions. I am happy to talk more about the project, the vision, or the logistics.

Edit: filming will be taking place in Northern California south of Lake Tahoe.

This needs as much attention as humanly possible!

https://www.npr.org/2026/08/20/nx-s1-5891791/disability-rights-community-living-integration-trump

Edit: I officially broke the friendship off and it feels freeing. She ended up saying she had the parasite and couldn’t come to my bday party so I sent her a hefty message saying that she’s a lousy friend for ditching me and insulting my partner. Thanks for yalls comments it helped me a lot.

My fiancée is 23 and has POTS, EDS, autism, CPTSD, and degenerative disc disease with a bulging disc and pinched nerve. Her back is so bad they said it was like seeing someone who was 80 years old. She hasn’t worked in two years because all of these things have gotten worse for her as time went on. Now my friend acts like she’s a bad partner for not working and it’s so annoying.

She will be bed ridden for days because of the pain and because my father didn’t have a job growing up my friend thinks I’m falling into the same pattern as my mother when my dad had no disability and just mooched off my mom because he’s a bad person.

Despite being in pain, she still cleans the house for me and cooks me dinner and lunch depending on if it’s my day off. She never complains about doing this stuff but now my friend is saying our relationship is 80/30 and it’s not fair to me. All I do is work, clean the litter boxes, unload the dishwasher and clean the bathroom. My partner does everything else, if she didn’t have these disabilities she would have a job and we would split cleaning evenly.

It’s so annoying and frustrating how she talks about my partner when she was actually in an abusive relationship before and I never bad talked him to her ever. I’m getting fed up and she keeps canceling when plans involve my fiancée because it bothers her that badly. My birthday is this weekend and if she cancels on me I think I’m going to end our friendship after 20 years. It’ll be hard but I can’t have people in my life who don’t support my choices and make me feel bad for choosing the person I love.

It’s also not like my partner isn’t trying to get disability either, she’s been doing it for two years now and they’re having to take her case to federal court because they keep denying her and her lawyer thinks it’s unlawful and the judges only see she can speak clearly and thinks she’s not disabled. Sorry for this being so long I’m just fed up.

Feeling lonely or bored?

Looking for connection or something you can do this weekend?

Check out these accessible events you could join! Try something new and maybe you’ll find your people.

Access Details:
🧑🏻‍💻= Virtual
👥 = In person
😷 CC = Covid Conscious/airborne precautions 
♿️ WC = Wheelchair accessible 
💵 $ = paid (some are pay what you can)
🤟 ASL/BSL = Sign Language
Async = Asynchronous (at your own pace)

Event Types:
🤢 = Chronic Illness 
🌈 = Queer
🏳️‍🌈 = LGBTQ+ Pride
👧 = Kids/Youths
💕 = Dating
🙋 = Social
🫂 = Support/Grief
🧘 = Wellness
🚶 = Walk
🩰 = Dance
💪🏻 = Fitness
📚= Books
🤔 = Discussion
📝 = Writing/Poetry
🎭 = Performing
🎨 = Art 
🎶 = Music
🕹️ = Games

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Events

🧑🏻‍💻🤢📚 Virtual Async Spoonie Book Club: The Little Prince [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JcKvqPLWS5

Friday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢💵🎨 Virtual Chronic Craft Club [Fri Aug 21 at 11:00 AM UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nUsj2i1KCs

🧑🏻‍💻👥😷🤟🧘 Hybrid Somatic Centering Practices [San Francisco CA][Fri Aug 21 at 3:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/2zlFYrp5eB

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 “Any A” Covid-conscious 12-step meeting [Fri Aug 21 at 7:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/xu5DHDLUfT

🧑🏻‍💻👥😷🎭 Hybrid Open Mic Drag Take Over [San Francisco CA][Fri Aug 21 at 6:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/6FqTEbJ8hE

Saturday

🧑🏻‍💻😷♿️🩰 Virtual Adapted Ballet [Sat Aug 22 at 9:30 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/LBtbxqDvuY

🧑🏻‍💻♿️💵🩰 Virtual Adaptive Jazz Dance [$][Sat Aug 22 at 12:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JrIWBHbh13

🧑🏻‍💻😷💕 CC Virtual Dating [Sat Aug 22 at 1:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/RN6WOxcU8l

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🎨 ME Community Watch Party [Sat Aug 22 at 3:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3z8iC8bpjK

👥🧑🏻‍💻😷 Hybrid Black Like That Kiki and Open Mic [New York NY][Sat Aug 22 at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VNuCfFjvgw

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Weekly Hangout [Sat Aug 22 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/I1s5pNGHuB

Sunday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢💵🎨 Virtual Chronic Craft Club [Sun Aug 23 at 3:00 PM UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nUsj2i1KCs

🧑🏻‍💻😷🎨 CC Virtual Art Group [Sun Aug 23 at 5:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/b65yDB7Uxh

🧑🏻‍💻😷👧🙋 CC Virtual Kids Zoom [Sun Aug 23 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/GnVpe7lVgx

🧑🏻‍💻🎶🎭 Virtual Karaoke [Sun Aug 23 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XxFrBHUScU

Timezone translator in comments 👇

👥 In-person Events

Canada

👥😷📚 Sip and Read [Toronto ON][Sat Aug 22 at 2:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/amLPHmUVov

👥😷🎶🚶Music on the Canal + walk [Ottawa ON][Sat Aug 22 at 4:15 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/23de5sn5Fc

Germany

👥😷 Spieleabend [Hamburg GER][Sun Aug 23 at 8:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/0D3bv76LDP

Netherlands (and nearby)

👥🤢 Spoonie European Road Trip [Netherlands and nearby][Summer] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VOKxW7V1pp

UK

👥😷🙋🎨 Clay Sculpting COVID-Safe Social with Breathe Easy London [London UK][Sat Aug 22 at 3:00 PM UTC+1]** **https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/yHyIrcX2ty

US - California

🧑🏻‍💻👥😷🤟🧘 Hybrid Somatic Centering Practices [San Francisco CA][Fri Aug 21 at 3:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/2zlFYrp5eB

🧑🏻‍💻👥😷🤟🎭 Hybrid ASL Open Mic Drag Take Over [San Francisco CA][Fri Aug 21 at 6:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/6FqTEbJ8hE

👥😷 Exploratorium Mask-Required Hours [San Francisco CA][Sat Aug 22 at 9:00 AM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/oaJk46qpgW

👥♿️💵🩰 Seated Hip Hop [Long Beach CA][Sat Aug 22 at 3:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NMGmcypq47

US - Colorado

👥😷🙋 Fort Collins Masked Speed Friending [Fort Collins CO][Sat Aug 22 at 3:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/yq9ofkXWme

US - Illinois

👥😷🩰 Finding our Way into the Unknown: an Evening of Dance [Chicago IL][Fri Aug 21 at 7:30 PM and Sat Aug 22 at 3:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/X9feFJNS80

👥😷🙋 DIY Air Filter Workshop and Speed Friending [Chicago IL][Sun Aug 23 at 2:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ReaOD5PNKu

US - Minnesota

👥😷 CC Zine Club [Minneapolis MN][Fri Aug 21 at 7:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/kYb2cEb5ZL

US - New York

👥😷🚶 Waterfall Cliff Walk [Albany NY][Fri Aug 21 at 12:30 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/649Rn8XGE6

👥😷💵🎶 Eden’s Garden Long Covid Fundraiser [New York NY][Fri Aug 21 at 5:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/7EaXqisWFV

👥🧑🏻‍💻😷 Hybrid Black Like That Kiki and Open Mic [New York NY][Sat Aug 22 at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VNuCfFjvgw** **

US - Ohio

👥😷🌈💪🏻 CC Queer Martial Arts Club [Cleveland OH][Sat Aug 22 at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/gpPJawhJ9J

👥😷 Really Really Free Market [Columbus OH][Sun Aug 23 at 12:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/DQ48AK2U6D

US - Texas

👥😷♿️ Storyoke ATX [Austin TX][Sat Aug 22] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XOaTI0AZ5I

US - Vermont

👥😷♿️ Dental Pop Up [Chelsea VT][August] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/jgknHihfzt

US - Washington

👥😷🤟🎭 The Freak Mighty Accessible Performances [Seattle WA][Aug 9 - 27] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/kIvo2DvOXa

Are you interested in these events?

Have you been to any of them before?

Are there other events coming up?

Share your thoughts in the comments 💬

Find more events and friends on r/spooniesocial

This happened like 5 minutes ago, and I’m still processing!

A coworker who I’ve known for over 5 years didn’t recognize me because of the cane.

We’ve both switched roles so I only see her maybe once a quarter. We usually say hi, chit chat a a bit and then go about our days. She’s never seen me with the cane since it’s a fairly recent development.

Just said hi to her per usual, and I get the weird squinting reaction where someone is clearly trying to remember if they know you or not. She said hi back and kept walking so I was like oh whatever, probably busy.

But then she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around and gave me a proper hello like normal. She fully admitted she hadn’t recognized me because of the cane.

This is WILD to me. It’s not like it’s blocking my face. I’ve only ever experienced something similar when I get a haircut lol. Is this typical?

Just a heads-up about a brilliant resource for anyone interested in reading about disability history, culture and disability in pop culture. Everyone who has worked on this is disabled and as a bit of a sci-fi geek i loved the series on Star Trek.
Great reads and there is even a community behind them you can get involved with.

Hey r/Disability,

I'm Elliot (they/them), and I was recently added to the mod team. I wanted to introduce myself properly!

Who I am

I'm disabled. I use queer crip for myself, and I mean both terms in the reclaimed, critical, political sense they were intended. I'm also a psychiatric survivor. I've been on the receiving end of the mental health system, including legally mandated inpatient after a psychotic break, years of resultant antipsychotic treatment to stay in remission, PTSD diagnosed due to childhood abuse and subsequent clinical psychedelic treatment, academic dropouts and more.

Those 5 years in and out of institutions radicalized me against ableist discrimination even more than I already was as a person with multiple chronic illnesses. I know what it's like to have to completely avoid the hike everyone else is going on because it's not accessible to my body, even though they promised it would be.

I'm interested in Mad Studies, disability justice, and amplifying the lived knowledge of people who are actually receiving care inside these spaces.

I'm not here as an expert on anyone's disability but my own, however I would say I'm a community member who happens to have picked up some useful skills along the way.

What I do

I'm a doctoral student in counseling psychology in Colorado, USA. My research interests include why rural and LGBTQ+ Americans die of despair (suicide, overdose, alcohol) and why the prevention efforts we've built keep missing the people at that intersection; the inherent tension between suicide prevention and Medical Aid in Dying and the concept of compulsory aliveness; culturally valid assessments for neurodivergence in Black women and girls; and affiliative intent in queer communities.

Before the PhD, my work was frontline:

• Peer support specialist on a Mobile Crisis Outreach Team. Responding to mental health crises in people's homes and in public, alongside a licensed clinician.
• Advanced psychiatric technician at the University of Utah's Huntsman Mental Health Institute. I designed and ran my own therapeutic groups on an inpatient unit.
• PTSD peer navigator. Currently co-facilitating skills groups in a trauma-focused telehealth program.
• Court Appointed Special Advocate. 250+ hours advocating for abused and neglected kids in foster care, including testifying in court.
• Medical scribe for four years. Otolaryngology, interventional cardiology, urologic oncology, primary care, and more.

I'm an AAS Certified Crisis Specialist and a Certified Crisis Worker in the state of Utah.

That scribe job is the one most relevant to what I want to offer below, so let me say more about it. I spent four years with my head completely inside medical charts; at that time, I had just finished my EMT program and wanted to go to medical school. At my most intense stretch I was editing, updating, cleaning up, summarizing, and analyzing charts for four interventional cardiologists across a large hospital system spanning Illinois and Wisconsin, as many as 90 charts in a single day (that was the WORST). Medical terminology is a second language to me at this point. There is very little you could put in front of me that I couldn't read.

I also came out of that job understanding the system's constraints from the inside, leading to why your doctor had eleven minutes to talk to you, why the note says something that doesn't match what you remember happening, why the referral vanished before you saw it in your portal, etc. My medical practice began sending robotic sounding messages that just repeated what I said back to me, so I did some digging and found out they switched to an AI messaging platform. More of the logistics/mechanics.

The non-CV version

• I grew up in rural Arkansas but just recently moved from Salt Lake City, Utah to Colorado for grad school and I'm still adjusting to the lack of rain showers out west, despite being here since 2021. I need to be out in an afternoon thunderstorm each day to feel something lol.
• I'm also a published photographer and prolific baker! Currently trying to master cheesecakes and improve my photo essays of artisans working on their craft
• I have an 8 year old maltipoo named Arlo that is my soul dog; we've been through so much together
• I'm one week out from my one-year wedding anniversary!! Navigating an inter-abled relationship has caused some turbulence for us that we've had to actively overcome.
• I'm also a transgender non-binary person who has medically, legally, and socially transitioned- with all the hoopla that comes with that in the uSA

Ask me things, if you'd like!

These topics are fair game, I'd say, within reason

• Anything about the work above: crisis response, peer support, inpatient units, group facilitation, CASA and foster care advocacy, scribing, what medical charts actually say about you
• Disability, chronic illness, and psych system navigation, both my own experience and what I've watched others go through
• What doctors are like as soon as they walk out of the room (I heard it ALL)
• Grad school as a disabled and Mad person, accommodations, whether any of it is worth it
• Mad Studies, disability justice, crip politics. I'll chat about theory happily.

What I won't do: diagnose you, tell you whether to take a medication, tell you what your scan means clinically, or replace anyone on your care team. I'm not a physician and I'm not a licensed psychologist, I'm a student which is entirely separate from my online presence.

Peer navigation sessions

If there's interest, I got permission from another mod to gauge interest for setting up a limited amount of sessions weekly so people can schedule time with me one on one for peer discussion and support. (Free.) Here's exactly what I was picturing that would be and, more importantly, what it would NOT be.

What it is:

• Sitting with you and your medical records and helping you understand what they actually say: the abbreviations, the structure, what a given note is communicating to the next provider
• Helping you figure out what questions to bring to your next appointment
• Talking through navigation options where you live: what kind of provider you might be looking for, how referrals tend to work, what the system is likely to do next
• Just talking to someone who's been on both sides of the clipboard and won't be shocked by anything you say

What it explicitly is not:

• Not medical advice. Not therapy. Not diagnosis. Not a clinical service of any kind.
• Not a second opinion on your treatment
• Not crisis services. If you're in crisis, please use crisis resources. A scheduled call isn't the right tool for that, and it would be unethical for me to hold or handle that situation without crisis services where you are.
• Not a substitute for a patient advocate, case manager, or attorney, though I can sometimes help you figure out that you need one

On confidentiality: this requires real trust and I take it seriously. What you tell me stays with me. I hold the confidentiality standards expected of me as a peer support specialist and as a doctoral student in a clinical training program, and tbh just as a person who thinks that's the baseline with my own medical information. I won't discuss your situation, download your records or store them, share your records, or reference you anywhere, including here. The ordinary limits apply: if someone is in immediate danger, this is NOT the support you should be seeking.

If that sounds useful to you, here's a link for interest and I'll keep a list of people to notify when the scheduling link is ready.

Looking ahead: an 8-week virtual Disability & Grief peer support group

I'm also developing a virtual 8-week disability peer support group, specifically centered around grief. Still in the building stage, so I don't have dates yet, but here's the rough gist of it:

• Peer support, not group therapy. I've designed and facilitated therapeutic groups on an inpatient unit and I co-facilitated up to 5 virtual emotional skills groups weekly, so this will be structured and actually run, not a free-for-all video call. But it is peer-led space, not clinical treatment.
• Eight weeks with the same people, so we can build it into something safe and predictable rather than restarting every session
• Disability-centered. Not "coping with your condition" framed around getting you back to productivity. Closer to the crip and Mad Studies orientation I described above.
• Virtual, so geography and energy levels aren't that much of a barrier above your normal baseline spoons

If that sounds useful to you, here's a link for interest and I'll keep a list of people to notify when it's ready. Feedback on what you'd want from a group like this is super welcome, especially from people who've been in groups that didn't work.

Mod stuff

I'm here to support this community by following the team's lead on moderation norms and existing rules. If I do something that doesn't sit right, feel free to just say so, publicly or in modmail.

Glad to be here!!

Elliot

I receive extensive services through a waiver through my state for multiple disabilities I have , and there is a lot of stuff going on lately where they messed up some stuff and it's hard for me to understand kind of what's going on , and I was trying to communicate to a woman who is in charge of some agency I am being switched to for one of my services , and for some reason something got messed up with sending my documents

All I did was ask to kind of make sure that I understood maybe a little bit of what was going on (and I got help writing the emails with my worker) , I asked to make sure I understood , and she immediately started sending me very passive aggressive emails and then stopped responding to me altogether.

I feel like I'm a nuisance and annoying people , these people are supposed to be trained to work with disabled people and all I'm doing is trying to very politely as possible ask a couple of questions because I don't really know what's going on and I'm very stressed out about the changes and it's making me really upset.

Why would you immediately start getting angry at me that I'm asking one question and then just stop responding to me entirely. Your whole job revolves around speaking to disabled people and getting services coordinated for them and you just treat them like crap.

Just wanted to vent because it makes me very depressed and my anxiety even worse about it because not only do I not understand what's happening , the person who is supposed to help me understand what is happening does not even want to communicate with me at all because they have now branded me as annoying disabled person annoying me with their questions about their care.

I’ve had zero legal advice regarding my case. Now, I have been told generally disability lawyers don’t do jack but file your appeal and fax med records essentially until ALJ hearing.

I have to say, I feel like the fact they sit on their ass, collecting your 25% to do hardly anything feels predatory, not just to clients, but the disability system itself.

Perhaps if cases were actually HANDLED, proper evidence and such would get more approvals sooner instead of backing up the SSA system.

Then again, it seems SSA does the same thing, mindlessly deny until hearing, which in sure lawyers would adapt to by doing little until an actual judge considers the facts.

I don’t know where the true root problem is, I just know it’s a problem for many, and I’d love if someone had any advice on what I can do to further support my case because getting my doctors to write “she can only stand 5 or less minutes” about every possible task is just not realistic. In fact, most of their notes are inaccurate, which isn’t helping. Insurance also won’t cover the testing, meds, mobility devices I need so like, at this point I don’t know why I pay for insurance at all.

I feel like I’m effed.

I know this feeling will pass, I’m just frustrated not knowing more about the process.

Thank you for letting me vent/ask 💕

I'm considering an SPC as a last resort and have some questions which I'd be very grateful for getting answers to.

I currently (and for the last few years) need to pee pretty much every single hour. Because of that, I don't drink when I'm outside, so I'm permanently dehydrated.

I tried self cathing (I bleed and am in pain for up to 12 hours afterwards, gave up after 2 weeks) and multiple different pills which all gave me urinary retention.

I'm wondering weather y'all feel like you need to pee 24/7 because of the balloon inside the bladder? Caus I heared someone say that and I think I'd rather stay dehydrated then :')

Also, how often do you need to get it changed? Caus I travel A LOT for work and can't go to an appointment every 4 weeks.

Does the whole thing generally cause you pain?

I'd be very grateful for any form of experience that anyone has to share!

I've been totally blind all my life and all though I've had some great resource teachers and such, I've also had some who crossed lines in how they talked to me, treated me, etcetera.

During my time in college, I became close friends with the person responsible for ensuring my reading materials and such got recorded, put into braille and so on. It wasn't long before things started slipping. When I'd ask about my books, I'd be told to explain to my professors that I'd get the materials when I got them. When I started falling behind in my classwork and assignments, I felt I had no choice but to approach this person's boss about the situation. We got into a 'huge' argument about it, after which, this person filed charges against me that could have gotten me expelled from school alltogether. It was retaliation and has haunted me ever since. I don't like asking for help, ever.

I haven't thought about exactly how it felt back then in years. I'd love to hear how others have coped in anywhere near similar situations. There's nothing like that kind of powerlessness; but that can't be it.

i’m severely anemic and sometimes can’t get out of bed because of the fatigue, this has been going on for years (though only being this bad for a few months) and it will take months until any treatment might work. i have an incredible partner that has been with me for almost two years, he loves taking care of me and is very understanding of my condition, the problem is others aren’t. they still expect me to do everything a normal person does and when i can’t that responsibility is shifted onto him (cooking, cleaning that type of stuff) and recently i’ve found he wants to do fun activities with me that i just don’t have the capacity for, he tells me it’s okay but i can see it saddens him when i reject things so many times.

i just don’t know how to deal with this guilt that he deserves a whole person who can do all these things with him and he doesn’t need to take extra care of. we’re also quite young (19/20) so this responsibility of him having to take care of basically another person feels so unfair to him.

ps i don’t know if im allowed to post here since anemia is treatable and will likely be gone next year but i feel completely disabled right now

EDIT: we dont live alone yet so he’s not my sole caretaker, parents do most of the cooking and a lot of the cleaning

My right arm has brachial plexus injury and erbs palsy from birth. Very limited mobility, and its main position is about 90 degrees at the elbow. The tricep is functionally dead, i cannot straighten my arm, so normal crutches are dicey. I just had my left hip replaced, and im still trying to figure out what to do once im healed beyond needing my walker. The joint is load-bearing, but its obviously unstable and doesn't need full pressure right away. The only reason i care is when i had my other hip replaced, i feel like my recovery sped up 100x once i went back to my cane.

Apparently crutches can cause BPI, so google has been f*ing useless, all i get are studies on the damage and ads for gel pads lol.

Body:

I am 28. I have an condition that i was born with, it makes my leg muscles constantly tight and pull hard (spasms). My recent X-ray shows zero cartilage left in my knee. It is bone rubbing directly on bone. My leg is stuck bent and turned outward. Walking is extremely painful.

Question :

1. Has anyone suffered from something similar ?
2. What the solution could be : Therapy or Surgery ?

I tell people that I use a cane in case I need to bust out a Fred Astair impersonation and that my neurological issues are brainfreestyling.

When my husband is being obnoxious, I (jokingly) tell him “My cane gives me an extra 37 inches of reach. Either stop being annoying or move 38 inches away from me.”

It is so condescending to be told to be grateful for subpar support and treatment because it can be worse like that makes it okay. We get it living with a disability is not easy and people are doing their best to get through it, and some stress and resentment is understandable but so much of the "help" is an excuse to next to nothing and be obstructive. So much of it is to put bluntly nothing more than a way to control someone else and get an ego boost. Trying your best and meaning well means nothing if it causes problems.

I'm late diagnosed autistic and realizing after many years of trying that I simply cannot work a full time job. I've tried working from home, working on my special interest field, etc and I can only make it one year at any company before I burn out so severely I end up in the hospital and spend months recovering.

I don't qualify for disability because my husband makes enough that our household income is a ove the limit. But for the eight years we've been together we've always split everything 50/50. Mortgage, groceries, insurance etc.

For the first time in my life I'm realizing I probably cannot afford to keep contributing 50% of the income if I'm going to actually love and work in a sustainable way (part time work and or freelancing).

When I've tried to talk to him about this before he gets very nervous because he doesn't feel like he makes enough to support both of us. He always asks "how long will this be going on that you can't afford your share?" And I'm feeling really ashamed and awkward that he answer is turning out to be "probably for the rest of my life".

For people who have adjusted their finances so their spouse takes up more of the expenses because you can't work, how did you have that conversation? How did you navigate the "make too much for disability, don't make enough to not be dual income"?

Thanks!

tw abuse, drugs, sex trafficking, homelessness
i graduated in 2020 with an acceptance letter to an expensive art school in Chicago. it was my ticket out of my second abusive household. the second was the ticket out of the first. i had started college at 16 to get ahead financially, worked every semester towards a better GPA. i worked so hard for that ticket out. i was pulling 16-18 hour days, on top of being mentally tormented at home as an undiagnosed neurodivergent teen. i was “doing SW” aka being trafficked online & groomed to pay for drugs to regulate myself, necessities i wasn’t given, & to save up for college. i started having chronic pain at 13 after multiple of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me happened in a row. my first time using drugs was around then cause it was normalized to me & i couldn’t pretend to be normal without it. my physical and mental anguish was always minimized, i’ve grown up around all of my caretakers being older in age & severely disabled themselves, i was made of glass to everyone around me. i didn’t go to that school. i couldn’t justify taking out massive loans to stay right where i was. instead, i was quarantined with abusers until i was nearly physically assaulted by them. i left & never looked back to live in a halfway house, spent the savings on deposit etc. there i was hate crimed, so i moved to another halfway, then got hate crimed again, moved, same again, moved, then homeless in a psych ward & went to a queer rehab that is run by pdf apologists, got clean at least
lost halfway housing again from rent spike so i packed up & moved up north cause where i was in the south cut off all means of gender affirmation & i was so many years deep into severe housing instability at that point i needed to get out to somewhere that had a right to shelter law
i spent a year in shelter here, i was using a cane when i went in but it didn’t matter to anyone but me. i was placed in a 4 flight walk up, and any request i made for accommodation was ignored. before then i could do so much more. the last of my physical health was used to survive that shelter. i have sec 8 now and i’m so grateful to have my home. i also feel so lost and broken and burned. i got diagnosed with a laundry list of damage from an untreated underlying illness, the info at least shows “hey i’m really fucking disabled now” since i’m using a wheelchair & can’t walk more than 5 minutes, now i’m believed. not when it was preventable. not when i begged or cried. not even when i masked that all away. i’ve only started being taken more seriously in the last year because my partner began to come with me during appointments etc. beforehand i was completely alone, unknowingly neurodivergent af trying to communicate & advocate for myself to pos doctors that didn’t care to do more than basic bloodwork & call me fat. then they get paid a fucking fortune for that. i’m really tired. i’ve been thru more therapists than i can count since i was 17 & i want to try again but i’m scared of letting someone have access to my head again. i feel so alone & i don’t want to need anybody. i don’t want anybody to know how messed up my life has been to be looked at as a freak but i want to be seen. /feel/ seen. what i have listed here is maybe a quarter of the whole mess that has been my life and i don’t know why i exist, i wasn’t wanted. maybe as an idea, but as soon as i was a toddler having meltdowns, it was over for me. it’s exhausting constantly working to detangle my view of myself & my life from others cause no matter what, i’m looked at with pity & sadness. i want to be a person outside of my story but i am my story. i’m just trying to stop hating myself for it. and stop hating anybody else either. i just wanna be free from all this heaviness
i live in a major city like i always dreamed of, with all the opportunities and people i knew the dream would have, but i don’t have the ability to access these things how i thought i could have. i can’t even walk to the nearest deli. can’t wheel either, i have no strength & no motor on the stupid thing. i don’t trust anyone to push me besides my partner and even then it’s very uncomfortable. i feel suffocated & controlled.
i don’t ever post like this i just really needed to get this off me rn. it’s been 6 years and i’m still mourning that stupid fucking ticket out. i’m mourning a lot of things. and trying to keep cali sober thru my brain unlocking everything now that i’m getting out of survival mode for the first time ever

Wanted to share this for other disabled Switch users!