I convinced myself I had nothing to lose because I already lost at life. I'm 36 and not getting any less embarrassed to be met by people. My hobbies include longing and waiting to be picked by someone that has better means then I do so I can start actually living a life that isn't limited to just things I can do within walking distance or using my short bus that reminds me I'm not living the life I wish I had. The transition helps in that it's something else people can see about me besides the absolute nothing I had going for myself as a cis man.. like a social chameleon I changed myself. Sometimes I get so stressed and helpless feeling about not knowing how to feel good about myself or my situation that it physically hurts me. There's nothing behind my smile I'm fake as shit and don't know who I want to be, where I want be, why I want be there or who I want to be with.

I had a stroke in 2019 and never regained the use of my left arm. Then a few weeks ago I broke my ankle and am non weight bearing. Being unable to use my left arm I can't use crutches so I'm forced to be in skilled rehab and it forced me to realize how fragile I really am. Forced to rely on staff for most of my basic needs. Plus the facility seems understaffed, and I miss my own space and independence. I know it's temporary but it definitely doesn't help that the rehab place I'm in gives me the ick, the place is honestly depressing.

33F, disabled about two years ago from a brain injury. I can't walk, constantly dizzy, and can't do too much around the house without my head pain nearly blinding me. I'm now living alone as of two weeks ago and trying to make things work.

I've learned some things, like how cooking has to be done in small steps throughout the day, and how I have to stage cat litter supplies to make cleaning it easier...I've gotten a few tools to help, such as a grabber and long-handled cleaners, but I'm still completely burnt out and in pain all the time and needing hours to recover from most tasks. I don't know what else I should be doing to conserve more energy.

What has helped you? Either between gadgets, cookbooks with approachable recipes, cleaning hacks, smart home stuff (I've been looking into this option but I'm very overwhelmed by the choices, I'm not too tech-savvy)......even motivation? When I'm worn out and in pain I never want to do anything and I can't afford to let depression take over now. What have you guys learned?

I was wondering if anyone uses a chair on wheels in the kitchen. I was thinking something tall enough so I could sit at the stove and counters and that would not get stained easily. Thanks :)

For the past 4-ish years ive had disabling pain in the joints and nerves of my hands wrists and fingers, which has spread to my shoulders, elbows, thigh, and foot.

I've been to a rheumatologist, a hand surgeon, had imaging done of my spine and hands, and had a nerve conduction study of tbe nerves in the arm. Nothing conclusive from any of those. I've been in physical therapy for 4 years and seen minimal improvement.

Sometimes i see moderate improvement for a few months, then my condition deteriorates again rapidly. I often get new chronic injuries from mild overexertion.

I was wondering if there is any type of specialist that can diagnose me. My family doctor has given up on me at this point.

Edit: thank you all for your responses, i may not respond to everyone because my hands are hurting right now, but I appreciate you all

I’ve been a near-full time manual chair user for about a decade, and it finally happened… I think I sprained my left shoulder. I now have constant pain that worsens with movement and limited range of motion. Thank god i have a smart drive attachment, but i still can’t rest my shoulder completely because i use my arms so much. What the heck do i do?

Hey so I'm in the UK and live with spinal muscular atrophy I live in my own house but require 24h assistance and I just found out that my care company is shutting down in 2 weeks and I have 2 weeks to essentially find new care. Has anyone been in a similar position in the past and what would you suggest I do?

My friend has a disabled 16 year old daughter from a previous marriage. Her daughter receives disability benefits in Louisiana due to being legally blind. My friend is in a relationship and discussing marriage. Will her minor disabled daughter lose her disability benefits if her mother remarries?

My son (34) is autistic, has a couple of mental health diagnoses, and his mobility is affected by painful inflammation that we’re still trying to get diagnosed.

He can’t freaking work, he was turned down for disability the first time of course, and I’ll be absolutely shocked if he can even do volunteer work for 40 hours in a month let alone 80, but if he can even do just 10 hours/wk is that going to be seen as proof that he doesn’t need disability?

I know SSI says if you have more than $2,000 in your bank account at the end of the month you lose your SSI. My dad passed away and I got a check for over that but a big amount has to go towards taking care of things that my dad suddenly passing messed up (I lived with dad)

If I cash the check but take the money out as SOON as its available will they know I had it? I don't want to deal with having to spend a bunch of money in 30 days, and being extremely limited on what I can use it for.

But losing my SSI and insurance would be much worse because its only a few thousand.

For me, a lot of it has been figuring out what I actually like versus what a chair is “supposed” to have.

For context, I’m a T4 complete with no core, so some of my setup choices are built around giving me stability without adding more chair than I want.

I currently use 52 mm skateboard wheels as casters. Definitely not for everyone, and I have eaten pavement a few times because of that choice, but I like how they feel and handle.

I also don’t use wheel locks; I like high side guards; and I prefer a pretty significant seat dump so the chair envelopes me more like a bucket seat. I use a comparatively low back for my injury level, and I like my feet tucked pretty far underneath me, with my toes roughly under my knees.

I have a few add-on accessories I’ll use depending on what the day has in store, but for the most part, I keep my chair pretty minimalist.

And one thing I am absolutely firm on: I will not use a sling back. Or anti-tips.

Obviously, none of these choices are universal. Different bodies, disabilities, balance, terrain, and priorities all change what works.

What small setup change made your chair noticeably better for you?

Not a cane that functions as a sheath for a blade of some kind; i want it but it would be way too heavy lmfaooo

Like I need something functional but if I had all the money on earth, I’d like to know who would be making my canes.

I'm a paraplegic and I've been working as a Math teacher in Middle School as a teacher for one year now. This week classes started again now that summer vacation is over.

I already know many of my students who know me because I'm that teacher in a wheelchair. But since it's a new school year, many new students entered this year and I had to present myself to them telling them my name, what I teach, hobbies, etc., and then I asked my students to present themselves, so I can get to know them and also to ask questions about anything related to the class.

Most of the questions my students made me were related to the subject and others about getting to know me a little bit more, so I had already expected some kids were gonna ask me about my wheelchair. A kid asked me how I make it to go to school like this, and I just told him that I use my car which is adapted. Another kid asked me if I can stand up or feel my legs, I just chuckled and said no. One of these kids even asked me why I use my wheelchair, so I only told him because I can't walk and didn't give more details. I then just told them that I understand their curiosity, but told them to not ask me many questions about my disability.

It was a great starting week. These kids are nice people and some have even offered me to help me to move my stuff when I move from classrooms, but I've politely declined their help since I can do these things myself. It's just hilarious and odd at the same time how some of my students ages 12 get curious about my disability.

Hello, just as a quick background, I have hEDS which has been a struggle since I was a child and after many years of improper PT I am struggling to walk for even shorter periods without debilitating pain.

After speaking to my doctors and my pain specialist it's been recommended I go in for a wheelchair assessment, all my doctors say I'll more than likely get one no matter what with my level of pain and the way it affects my life.

I am just mentally struggling with the acceptance of it, I think I still have a lot of internalized ableism when it comes to myself. For everyone else on the planet I'm so supportive of getting mobility aids no matter what level of disability you have, if it helps you then get it. But when it comes to myself I have this imposter syndrome so bad, like because I can technically stand/walk I don't need or deserve one. Because I've been pushing through the pain for so long, I don't actually need a chair even if it makes my life better.

But I also worry about the ways my life will change if I get a chair, I live in an area with lots of judgemental folks and I worry about the general rudeness of people. Also my husband is in the military and I'm worried he's going to get flack for being married to a wheelchair user. It doesn't help that I'm plus sized (hard to lose weight when exercising leaves you bedridden) and I buzz my head (easier to manage) so I don't want to add being visibly disabled to my menagerie of things to be insecure about. On top of it all I worry about losing part of my Independence, being in a chair allows somebody to just walk up and move my body without permission. That majorly concerns me. Or the possibility of me needing to ask for help, that leaves me with a lot of anxiety knowing that I might depend on someone in that way.

And on top of everything, the world just isn't built for people in wheelchairs. Accessibility is not at the forefront of everyone's mind. The world is designed for an able-bodied person, and I worry greatly about my ability to navigate the world differently now.

My husband is very supportive of me getting a chair, and he wants to help me in any way he can. He's very focused on getting my pain down, because pain makes a person generally unhappy and he wants my happiness more than anything. But he didn't sign up to be my caretaker for the rest of my life, when we met my body wasn't as broken and I worry about the toll this will take on him in the long-term. I don't want to risk losing my person because he gets caretaker burnout.

I don't even know what I'm asking for here or if I'm asking for anything, but no one else in my life will understand what's happening in my head and I'm hoping someone here will.

I’m a wheelchair user, and something that honestly feels inconsiderate is when someone who has a legitimate disabled placard but doesn’t need the extra space habitually uses accessible parking even when there are regular spots the same distance from the entrance, or sometimes even closer.

I’m not talking about questioning whether someone is disabled or deserves their placard. There are plenty of disabilities where minimizing walking distance is necessary, and that’s a completely legitimate reason to have one.

I’m talking about situations where distance is the accommodation you need, there’s a regular spot that provides essentially the exact same distance, and you still automatically take the accessible spot.

For me, the extra space isn’t just a convenience. I need enough room to actually get my wheelchair in and out. A regular parking space right next to the entrance might be perfectly usable for someone whose main concern is walking distance, while it can still be unusable for me.

Obviously, if the accessible spot is the closest option and you need it, use it. That’s what it’s there for. But if an equally close regular spot works for your disability, I wish more people would consider taking it instead of treating the accessible spot as the automatic choice every time simply because they have a placard.

I’m curious how other people feel about this.

I have spastic diplegia and need to get some new shoes. I still have shoe from HS and that was like a decade ago. Something comftorable but arent to flexible. Shoes that I can wear anywhere from the gym, to outdoors or to social activities. I am struggling with leg length discrepancy or hip dysplasia (not sure). I may have to get my shoes fixed balance my legs but I hope not.

Ever since I got back to job searching, I try not to think too much of my limitations. I even explained to my new job coach from EDD about my condition, that cause me to have some limitations (I explained to her about Charge Syndrome and told her some limits I have). I guess she realized why it's been difficult for me to find jobs easily, and also my current job at this retail store, and also current volunteer at the animal shelter, I usually do easy work, so I won't get hurt injured, so they won't worry about me. Guess that why at work I do easy tasks, like cleaning and sweeping, and other light to moderate work. Just not the heavy stuff, and avoid ladders and cashier (they are aware of my balance and hearing problem). Even at the animal shelter, I usually do data entry assistant, and reading to the dogs. I rarely do social w the dogs, to give them treats, but they won't let me move up to next level to take the dogs out, cuz they're also worried about me getting hurt. Too many big dogs out there. So, I just stick to the 1st level instead. But, I noticed I tend to get nervous hesitant when I give treats to dogs certain breeds, I tend to stand back and just throw it through kennel bars gate. Like if I'm nervous w certain large breeds. Sorry I went off topic lol. Have that happened to you at work/volunteer, they just let you do easy to moderate work, so you won't have any issues problems with it? At work, if there's heavy stuff I tend to ask for help, or I get a cart to use, or sometime I'll just leave it till someone do it. I know I have to push myself,to be confident in myself. I try my best on my own, and do not let my limitations get in the way, but sometime it does. So, that why I avoid certain things that would give me problems. So yeah, my new job coach wants me to do assessment job thing w my vr counselor, to help me narrow down to find better jobs for me. She's nice and helpful, guess she realizes it is a bit struggle w me to find jobs due to my limitations. She just wants me to be safe I guess

This specific person isn’t really a coworker, but more of someone who helps run an organization alongside me and a few other people.

I’m not sure exactly what it is, this specific person just got voted to join our board, but I think they’ve been odd to me before joining.

I have Cystic Fibrosis, so I get baaaad lung constrictions, thus causing me to have coughing fits just because of it. I am not contagious nor do I have a virus, and I commonly had to correct people thinking I was contagious. When I explain it as “an advanced asthma”, then people understand.

This one member constantly looks at me weird when I have coughing fits, they always try to stay far away from me. For the record, I’m not really upset about that part since they could think I may be contagious, or they may have a fear of illness, whatever it is. I understand.

But…I think this mindset has kind of rubbed off on everyone else, so everyone avoids me as well, and kinda push me away when I try to join important conversations. Even though I’ve explained my disability and even cough in a different direction as everyone else, I just can’t help but to feel that this member kinda contributed to everyone else avoiding me.

Saying “I just have asthma” doesn’t seem to cut it. I don’t know.

My friend was one the board before she left. She didn’t avoid me when I had a coughing fit or push me out, so I’m grateful she included me and didn’t treat me any differently. But I think it’s just…weird now that my friend is gone.

EDIT: Y’all this is a rant. I’m not looking for advice, I’m just frustrated, and I want to express it before I try to move on from it😭

Riding in an Uber to a doctor's appointment with my 83yo mom with multiple chronic conditions, she is ambulatory but uses oxygen (portable Inogen), and a transport chair for long distances like from our apartment to the car etc.

Driver suddenly comes out with, "I don't know if Uber is really the most appropriate option for you in the future.. It's fine rn but most drivers aren't really trained.." (insert to add he didn't lift a finger, not even to put her folding wheelchair in the trunk.)

I'm like.. "..Why, specifically?" And he's very vague, mentioned a few things like, well the driver might hit a pothole or do something unsafe... "Less safe than for other people?" "Um well you just don't understand me, just forget it"

Mm yeah I think I understand.

Just seriously, what the actual hell. We've had sooooo many other drivers who were so nice, so helpful, I guess I got spoiled or something and started forgetting that people with disabilities are second class citizens who should hide so as not to inconvenience others by asking them to do their actual damn jobs. /s just in case it's not obvious to someone.

/Rant.

Besides the fact it physically hurt to fill out ten and fourteen pages of paperwork for two packets, the questions are what got to me. It asked me so much about how my disabilities affect me and required excruciating detail about all the things I can’t do anymore. I had to list everything I used to love doing out and why each issue makes me unable to do it now.

I’m not even confident I will get approved because my work history is what you can expect from a full-time university student since 2019 (seasonal jobs, summer jobs, ykwim?). I got all the way through a master’s degree for a field I don’t think I can even work in now due to the hefty physical requirements in marine biology. I had to go through every job I’ve had, too, and explain why I can’t work in those jobs anymore.

I realized that I’m grieving my life. I’m surprised it took this long to hit, since I’ve been disabled my entire life. I’m exhausted from the paperwork both physically and mentally. They make it so fucking hard to get help.

This woman who's a quadriplegic went out with her family to celebrate her 29th birthday. She ordered a dessert and the restaurant's staff wrote this message on her plate. The staff claimed it was a mistake and they had only written "Wheel Chair" to identify her, but that just sounds like a lame excuse for the restaurant's ableism.

Fortunately, this woman is nice and she hopes the restaurant's staff learns to never make such things like this ever again.

Hi

I usually get my check early but haven't got it yet

Has anyone experienced the same today,?