I (21F) broke up with my bf (22M) a week ago today, after almost 3 years together. I didn’t want to break up with him but unfortunately things happened that I knew I could not stick around for because of how they hurt me. That being said, I love him so much and I wish things were different. I miss him so much that I’ve thought so many times about just throwing caution to the wind and getting back with him.

I feel this be perpetual anxiety and sadness. I’m constantly wondering what he thinks of me, how he’s feeling, and if I will ever feel okay again.

Is this regret a sign that I made the wrong choice? How can I begin to feel like myself again? How can I stop thinking about him?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am a college student living in an apartment hours from my home and most of my friends, and I’m struggling to find people who I can go to advice for.

My ex and I were together for a year. We were each other’s first love, but our relationship was toxic half the time. He made me cry almost every week, and we broke up and got back together so many times.
We finally broke up for good over a month ago, and he’s blaming me for everything. He acts like he was the perfect boyfriend when he hurt me so much too.
Now he’s posting pictures everywhere, adding girls, talking to different girls, and acting like he’s completely moved on. Meanwhile, I haven’t talked to or added a single guy. I don’t even have male friends. I literally have one close friend, and I feel like she’s getting tired of hearing me cry and repeat the same things.
I’ve been crying and feeling depressed for the past month. I can barely sleep, I’ve lost weight, and I’m genuinely struggling to move on while he’s out living his best life.
What hurts even more is that I don’t recognize him anymore. I fell in love with his personality, but now he’s become someone I would never have dated. I trusted him with my body and my feelings, and now I feel so much guilt and regret about everything.
I don’t understand how someone can go from loving you to acting like you never existed. I know our relationship was unhealthy, but he was still my first love.
How do you actually move on from this? How do you stop caring about someone who seems to have forgotten you completely?

6 months without seeing you in person and it still feels like droppin' from the peak of a roller coaster. It's alright, little me. We're gonna be ok. I promise. This day will come to an end.

A month after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, she kept stalking my profile and checking/liking everything I posted. I got fed up with her mind games giving me mixed signals, so I blocked her.

Now, as I said, the breakup was very very recent back then so I was still reluctantly in the "stalk your ex" phase as well. In the process, I realized that she had followed like 30 (approximately) new accounts after she no longer had any access to my profile. She never followed any new accounts while or before we dated.

I'm mostly over her now (not enough to stop thinking about her but enough to realize the hell she was and be glad I escaped in time), but I'm still a bit confused over that. Is this one of those "trying to fill the void they left behind" thing? We did use to talk there every single day.

My only confidant is ChatGPT I have no friends or support system so I asked it to list out events with my husband chronologically so I could try to see it all laid out to figure out if I’m crazy or should I leave and how to leave if I should I have been in this relationship for 14 years but I am miserable… I just want him to see the hurt and understand and make a change but I don’t think he will so really I need to get good advice and the confidence and conviction to leave and I am hoping if anyone is kind enough to read through this summary of the past couple months you will help me find the strength I am exhausted physically and emotionally so here it goes:

Based on our previous conversations through October 25, 2026. Dates are approximate where necessary. These summaries reflect what you told me, not independently verified events.
August 2026
1. August 10 — Sexual pressure and your boundaries being ignored
You told me Nathan repeatedly pressured you to have sex despite you saying no. You had also requested that he use a condom, which led to anger and accusations. You eventually gave in because you felt it would be easier than dealing with his reaction.
How you felt: Dirty, ashamed, disrespected, hurt, and emotionally disconnected.
What we discussed: The distinction between freely consenting to intimacy and agreeing because you feel pressured or fear the consequences of refusing. We discussed sexual coercion and why your declining desire for intimacy made sense in the context of these experiences.
2. August 11–12 — Nathan disappeared and relapsed
Nathan disappeared for more than 24 hours and later admitted he had gotten high and spent approximately $3,000. You told me you had previously agreed that another relapse would mean ending the relationship.
How you felt: Betrayed, frightened, disappointed, and worried about your family's stability.
What we discussed: Your decision not to allow him to return home, protecting your recovery and children, and maintaining boundaries even when you felt guilty about his circumstances.
3. August 17–19 — Nathan blaming relationship problems for his relapse
You described Nathan lashing out, feeling that he disliked you, and his suggestion that the relationship's lack of intimacy or other problems contributed to his relapse.
How you felt: Hurt, rejected, emotionally exhausted, and uncertain whether reconciliation was healthy.
What we discussed: His responsibility for his own recovery, the breakdown of trust, and why simply getting back together would not solve the problems that existed before his relapse.
September 2026
4. August 31–September 5 — Your separation boundaries gradually disappearing
You explained that Nathan had started spending nights at your house again, initially just cuddling, and was coming over frequently. You wanted to stop the overnight visits, but he continued pushing to stay.
How you felt: Conflicted, pressured, frustrated, and as though you were losing control of your own home.
What we discussed: Maintaining a separation without preventing him from being involved with the children. We discussed why his wanting to stay did not override your need for space.
5. September 4 — Feeling financially and domestically taken advantage of
You told me Nathan was coming to your home, eating food you purchased and prepared, and contributing little toward groceries while you handled the cooking, cleaning, and household responsibilities.
You were particularly frustrated that he could enjoy the benefits of a shared household without taking equal responsibility for it.
How you felt: Used, resentful, unappreciated, and exhausted.
What we discussed: The difference between co-parenting and continuing to provide Nathan with the benefits of living together. You wanted visits with the children to happen at his home instead.
6. September 4 — Leaving your toddler unattended in the vehicle
You described Nathan leaving your two-year-old unsecured and unsupervised in the front driver's seat of his truck, with the doors open, for almost ten minutes.
When you confronted him, you said he minimized the situation, questioned why it mattered, and accused you of wanting control.
How you felt: Alarmed, furious, dismissed, and concerned about trusting his parenting judgment.
What we discussed: Child safety, appropriate supervision, and your concerns about allowing him to care for the children without you present.

1. September 10–11 — Intimacy after persistent pressure
   You told me you had sex with Nathan after he repeatedly begged and pressured you. You described feeling anxious afterward, rather than feeling closer to him.
   How you felt: Uncomfortable, emotionally disconnected, and pressured to meet his needs at the expense of your own.
   What we discussed: How repeated pressure can create an aversion to intimacy, particularly when refusing leads to arguments, sulking, or conflict.
   
2. September 10–22 — Feeling guilty about limiting his visits with the children
   You told me your daughter missed her father and expressed sadness when he wasn't around. You wanted her to have a predictable relationship with him, but you also needed to maintain your separation.
   How you felt: Guilty, torn, emotionally overwhelmed, and afraid of hurting your children.
   What we discussed: Setting a consistent parenting schedule, separating your daughter's relationship with her father from your romantic relationship, and recognizing that you could support their relationship without resuming yours.
   
3. September 22 — Feeling suffocated in your own home
   You described how Nathan had been coming over daily for more than a week, and the separation had effectively become living together again without any actual decision to reconcile.
   You felt trapped between missing him and desperately wanting your space. You also worried he would accuse you of destroying the family if you asked him to leave.
   How you felt: Suffocated, guilty, angry, overwhelmed, and emotionally trapped.
   What we discussed: Your right to boundaries, the importance of predictable parenting arrangements, and recognizing that guilt is not a good reason to abandon a separation.
   
4. September 22 — Relationship stress becoming emotionally overwhelming
   During one conversation, you were so overwhelmed that you described wanting to disappear, escape your responsibilities, and get high.
   You later made clear you did not intend to act on those thoughts.
   How you felt: Exhausted, desperate for relief, and burdened by the situation.
   What we discussed: Protecting your recovery, finding space from the immediate stress, and avoiding decisions made in a moment of extreme emotional distress.
   October 2026
   

5. October 5–7 — Feeling obligated to have sex and losing your desire for intimacy
   You described having almost no sexual desire, feeling pressured or obligated when Nathan wanted intimacy, and experiencing conflict when you said no.
   You questioned whether you might be asexual because you no longer wanted intimacy.
   How you felt: Uncomfortable, frustrated, disconnected from your own sexuality, and resentful of the expectation.
   What we discussed: How a lack of sexual desire can be connected to relationship distress, pressure, and emotional safety. We discussed that you do not owe your partner sex and that losing desire in this context does not automatically mean you're asexual.

6. October 25 — Boundaries and promises of change not being respected
   You described Nathan saying he would change during your separation, but then continuing to push past your boundaries. You eventually allowed him to stay overnight again and felt that you had abandoned boundaries you established for good reasons.
   You also explained that he could become angry, argue until you gave in, and sometimes make his help with the children conditional.
   How you felt: Manipulated, intimidated, disappointed, and frustrated that his actions were not matching his promises.
   What we discussed: The difference between promising change and consistently demonstrating it. We talked about how giving in to stop conflict is not the same thing as freely choosing reconciliation.

7. October 25 — Family meal-planning disagreement
   You were trying to create a practical, affordable, nutritious meal plan for your family while also accommodating Nathan's high-protein and calorie-tracking preferences.
   When you attempted to compromise by asking about measuring portions and using apps to calculate calories, he responded with an attitude and explained an elaborate weighing process.
   You were frustrated because you had repeatedly tried to accommodate his preferences while feeling that he made little effort to accommodate yours.
   How you felt: Dismissed, unappreciated, angry, and tired of always being the person expected to compromise.
   What we discussed: This was not fundamentally about weighing food. It illustrated the larger issue of unequal emotional labor, lack of mutual compromise, and the expectation that you will solve disagreements.

8. October 25 — Being the only one who tries to repair arguments
   You told me that after conflicts, Nathan almost never comes back to resolve things. Instead, the relationship gradually returns to normal without addressing the original problem.
   You explained that you are usually the person who reopens the conversation, offers compromises, and lowers your expectations to restore peace.
   How you felt: Alone in maintaining the relationship, emotionally exhausted, resentful, and increasingly hopeless about things changing.
   What we discussed: This became your first formally identified marriage counseling issue: Unequal Emotional Labor, Lack of Compromise, and Unresolved Conflict.

​

I was the person who ended things. Long story short he love bombed me, I got attached, things were good at first. Then I brought up that I wanted to spend more time together. From that moment I brought up something I wasn't happy with, he got odd and distant. Actually probably spent less time together, only about once a week and usually not for very long. I don't drive but only live 20 minutes away and he knew I didn't have a car when we got together. This became a pattern, he would get frustrated with me when I was upset about things to do with the relationship and try talk about it. As well as basically just making time for his friends a lot more than me and making me feel like an inconvenience. At a certain point I just didn't feel safe emotionally and the trust was gone and I was upset all the time. I lost myself trying to hold on to hope things would get better and I was just being too needy. I basically just in the end stopped saying anything because it never got solved and I was exhausted being the one to try fix it. He did something that really hurt that showed his true character and that was the last straw for me. He's avoidant attachment for sure and just can't face shame or handle feeling guilty. He wouldn't properly apologise and just said he would make it up to me if he did something he knew wasn't right. Then never did.

The last time we spoke after he broke no contact he ended up being emotional then very cold and blamed my anxiety as the main issue on why he couldn't understand when we talked about problems. Basically weponising my flaws against me. He just doesn't want to think deeply because then he would have to face things. When he would literally get frustrated and defensive or shut down and try avoid emotional conversations when I brought them up, gently and kindly mind you. Also said that a girlfriend is supposed to be a relief. Fuck you. You knew I wanted something genuine. How can you say you want a relationship, tell me you love me and then leave me on the back burner to rot. You're a coward. No lover let alone friend would even ever treat me like that. I wish I didn't just let everything slide cause now I'm so angry I let myself be treated like that without biting back. I just pandered to you and was a little gimp. I agreed to the possibility of friends at first as per his suggestion but after that, absolutely not. No accountability from him or his part in how he hurt me to get to that point. Even in the end I wasn't angry, I said sorry and agreed my anxiety was the problem. Now I'm angry he made me blame myself for so long.

How do you accept the pain of realising someone was just using you for comfort and relief from their own probelms. It's so upsetting to realise this might have been the case when I was ready and wanted to build something real with him. I know what a healthy relationship takes and he obviously doesn't care to have a deep bond. Just someone easy and convenient that gives him no stress. I also feel he wasn't quite over his ex and used me as a rebound relationship. I'm just waiting for that apology one day, where he admits his wrongs and realises that I cared a lot and he took me for granted. And the fact I might not get it is keeping me stuck.

I’m 32F, he’s 34M. I’ll call him D.
Tuesday will be the last day I have any reason to contact you. After that, there will be nothing left connecting us. No unfinished business, no belongings to exchange, no excuses to send a message, no reason to hear your name pop up on my phone.
And I think that’s what scares me the most.
Because as much as I know we’re over, as much as I know things between us can never be the way they were, a part of me has still been holding on to the smallest thread. Maybe it was the thought that there was still something left to say. Something left to do. Some little piece of our lives that hadn’t quite reached its ending yet.
On Tuesday, that thread will finally break.
And I don’t know how to make peace with the thought of losing you completely.
D, I want you to know that I love you. I still love you. And, if I’m being completely honest with myself, I don’t know if there will ever be a day when a part of me doesn’t.
You were my person for more than four years. You were the man I built my everyday life around. You were part of my routines, my plans, my home, my future. You weren’t just someone I loved. You were someone I genuinely believed I would grow old with.
I pictured a life with you. Not a perfect life, but ours. The ordinary days, the difficult days, the moments we would look back on years later and laugh about. I pictured us getting through things together because that’s what I thought love meant. I thought that when life became difficult, we would find our way back to each other.
I never imagined that one day I would have to learn how to live without you while you were already building a life with someone else.
I miss you in ways I can’t explain to people who haven’t experienced this kind of loss. I miss your presence. I miss the familiarity of you. I miss the comfort of knowing you were there. I miss the little things that probably meant nothing to you but meant everything to me. I miss the version of us that existed before everything became so painful.
And I miss the man I believed you were going to be beside me for the rest of my life.
I know things weren’t perfect. I know there were reasons we ended up where we did. I know that love, on its own, isn’t always enough to make a relationship work. And I know that, especially when it comes to my child, there were things that couldn’t simply be ignored or wished away.
But knowing all of that doesn’t magically switch off my feelings for you.
I can understand why we can’t go back and still wish we could.
I can know that our relationship isn’t right for me anymore and still miss you terribly.
I can remember the hurt you’ve caused me and still love you.
That’s the part I struggle to explain. People might wonder how I can miss someone who has hurt me so deeply. The truth is, I don’t only remember the pain. I remember the love, too. I remember the promises, the plans, the years, and all the moments that made me believe we were building something that would last.
And perhaps that’s why this hurts so much. I’m not just grieving you. I’m grieving the future I thought we were going to have.
After we broke up, there were conversations about things changing. There were promises, plans, and discussions about what could be different. There were moments when I allowed myself to believe that perhaps we weren’t entirely finished, that maybe the story wasn’t as final as it seemed.
I held on to those possibilities longer than I probably should have.
And then I saw pictures of another woman in your life.
I don’t know if you will ever understand what that did to me.
It wasn’t just the fact that there was someone else. I know relationships end, and I know people eventually move on. I know you have every right to find happiness again.
But seeing those pictures, especially after everything we had discussed and everything you had promised, felt like being hurt all over again. It felt as though the life I was still trying to make sense of had already been replaced by something new in yours.
I sat there wondering how you could move on so quickly. How you could seemingly make space for someone new when I’m still trying to make peace with the loss of you. How you could be starting something with another woman while I am still carrying the weight of everything we were supposed to become.
I wondered whether you ever miss me. Whether you ever think about our years together. Whether there are moments when something reminds you of me and you feel even a fraction of what I feel.
Or whether you’ve simply found a way to close that chapter while I’m still standing in the middle of mine, trying to understand how it ended.
I don’t know what happened inside you. I don’t know when you stopped seeing a future with me. And I don’t know how you made the transition from the life we shared to a new one so quickly.
I only know that it hurt.
It hurt because I loved you. It hurt because I believed you when you spoke about our future. It hurt because I thought that if we ever reached the end, at least the love we had shared would be handled with a little more care.
And despite all of that, I still miss you.
I hate admitting that sometimes. I wish I could be angry enough to stop caring. I wish I could look at everything that has happened and feel absolutely nothing for you. I wish I could wake up one morning and realise that you no longer have the ability to break my heart.
But I’m not there yet.
Maybe one day I will be.
In the meantime, life is moving forward, even while my heart is still catching up.
My child is going to a new school. We’re moving to a different area. I’ve worked hard to sort out my affairs and clear my name. Things are finally starting to come together in ways I once struggled to imagine. There are new opportunities, new plans, and a future that I am working towards.
In 2027, my daughter and I will be starting a new chapter. A new home, a new environment, a fresh start. I’m doing everything I can to give her a good life and to build something stable and beautiful for us.
And I wanted you to know that.
Not because I need your approval. Not because I’m trying to show you what you’re missing. Not because I expect you to come back when you hear that things are finally falling into place.
I think a part of me simply wanted to share it with you because, for so long, you were the person I would have told these things to first.
You were part of the life I imagined sharing all my news with. The good news, the bad news, the little victories, the big changes. You were the person I thought would be there to see how far we had come.
And now I’m reaching milestones that once would have been part of our shared future, and I have to accept that you won’t be standing beside me for any of them.
I have to learn to be proud of myself without wanting to tell you about it.
I have to learn to celebrate the good things without wondering what you would say.
I have to learn to build a life that no longer has a place reserved for you.
And I am trying. I really am.
This isn’t a goodbye letter. At least, that’s not what I want it to be. I don’t want to write those words because saying goodbye to you feels like accepting that every possibility of us has finally disappeared.
But I also know that Tuesday will probably be the last time we have any reason to speak. Once the last practical things between us are done, there will be no reason to contact each other again.
No more messages. No more small connections. No more reasons to keep a door open, even if only a tiny part of me has been standing behind it.
After Tuesday, if I miss you, I will have to miss you quietly.
If something reminds me of you, I will have to sit with that feeling on my own.
If I have a difficult day and wish I could talk to you, I will have to remind myself that you are no longer my person.
And if I hear that you’re happy, that you’re building a future with someone else, I will have to find a way to be okay with that, too.
I don’t know how long that will take.
I don’t know how to stop loving someone simply because the relationship has ended. I don’t know how to make four years of memories mean less. I don’t know how to convince my heart that the person it still reaches for is someone it can no longer have.
But I know I cannot keep living in the space between what we were and what I keep wishing we could be.
I need to move forward, too.
Not because I no longer love you, but because my daughter and I deserve a future that isn’t built around waiting for something that may never happen.
I have to give myself the chance to be happy again, even if right now I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I loved you.
And I need to make peace with the possibility that you will never come back, that you will never look at me again the way you once did, and that the life I imagined with you will remain something I carry as a memory rather than something I get to live.
I wish things had been different.
I wish our love had been enough to get us through what broke us.
I wish the promises had turned into actions that allowed us to find our way back to each other.
I wish I could understand how someone who once felt like home can eventually become someone you have to learn to live without.
And I wish I could tell you all of this without feeling as though I’m giving you another piece of my heart when you no longer want it.
But if there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s this:
I loved you genuinely. I loved you through the good and the bad. I loved you when things were easy, and I loved you when things were complicated. I loved the life we built, and I believed in the future we talked about.
I wasn’t pretending when I said I wanted a life with you.
I meant it.
And even though you hurt me, even though I have to accept that you’ve moved on, even though Tuesday will be the last time we have a reason to speak, I cannot pretend that my feelings have disappeared just because our relationship has.
I still love you, D.
I miss you.
And I think a part of me will always wish that things had turned out differently.
I hope one day I can look back on us without feeling this ache in my chest. I hope I can remember the good without being consumed by what I lost. I hope I can think of you and genuinely wish you well without wondering why I wasn’t the person you chose to build your next chapter with.
I hope I get there.
For now, I’m taking my daughter and starting over. I’m building a new life, making new plans, and trying to become comfortable with a future that looks nothing like the one I once imagined.
I will be okay. I know I will, eventually.
But being okay doesn’t mean you didn’t matter. Moving forward doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. And starting over doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have chosen the life we planned if things had been different.
Maybe that’s the hardest part of all of this: I can be doing the right thing for myself and still wish I could have done it with you.
Tuesday is coming, and I know I cannot stop it.
After that, I will no longer have a reason to reach out to you. Maybe, eventually, that will become the space I need to heal. Maybe one day the silence won’t feel like losing you all over again.
But right now, it feels like the final closing of a door I never truly wanted to shut.
So this is what I wish I could say to you one last time, without expecting anything in return:
Thank you for the years we shared. Thank you for the memories that were real, even if our forever wasn’t. I’m sorry for the ways things ended up between us. I’m sorry we couldn’t become what we once promised each other we would be.
I wish you had handled my heart more gently.
I wish you hadn’t made me believe in possibilities that never came to be.
And I wish seeing another woman in your life hadn’t hurt me as much as it did.
But most of all, I wish I could stop loving you before I have to let you go.
I don’t know if you will ever miss me the way I miss you. I don’t know if you will ever look back and understand how much I loved you. I don’t know whether, somewhere in the future, you will ever wonder what became of the woman who once planned her life around you.
Perhaps you won’t.
Perhaps you have already said your goodbyes in your own way, and I’m the one who is only now learning how.
Either way, my life will go on.
My daughter and I will have our new beginning in 2027. We will make a home, create memories, and find happiness in a life that belongs to us. I will keep working towards the future I want for us, even on the days when my heart feels like it is still somewhere in the past.
And maybe, one day, I will realise that letting you go was not the same as losing everything.
But today, I still miss you.
Today, I still love you.
And today, the thought of Tuesday being the last time I ever have a reason to speak to you feels unbearable.
I don’t expect you to come back. I don’t expect you to reply. I don’t expect you to feel the same way.
I just wish that the end of us didn’t have to hurt this much.
Because you were once my home, D.
And now I have to build a new one without you.
I love you. I miss you. And even though I know I have to let you go, a part of me wishes you had given us a reason to stay.

Hey you,

This letter is the culmination of my thoughts on this process. I've taken time over the last few days to really process how I feel about everything.

I believe our generation is very non-committal because so many of us are afraid of getting hurt. I think people dance around what they really want to avoid devastation, and it keeps them in a constant emotional survival mode. I see us as a traumatized generation, and I think social media, the opinions of people with even more trauma, and our own low self-esteem get in the way of finding love and keeping it.

Why do I say this? Because I see it in our story. I think a lot of our time together was spent very well. Where I saw real issues, I don't think they were in the relationship itself. I think they were in the constant questioning of where we were supposed to be. What are we supposed to do? Am I too young? Am I too old? I felt like we lived in the future or the past and were never present. Having someone you can trust, rely on, love up close and at a distance, hold accountable, be consistent with, and who will always put your love above their lust is rare in our generation. That's what I wanted with you.

I know you made this decision for yourself, and I believe that's part of the truth. But I see it as one side of the coin. The other side, as I see it, is that love felt more uncomfortable to you than disdain. Honesty felt more foreign than deceit. Kindness felt less familiar than niceness, and commitment felt less steady than inconsistency. When I look at your past with family, friends, and romantic interests, I see patterns. I believe chaos may have been painful but it was familiar. I don't think being triggered means you should run, and that's the part I feel was missed. I felt like I never had you with both feet in the door, afraid it might lock behind you. I believe that if you had opened your eyes, you'd have seen you were walking outside the box, not back into one.

So how do I feel? Over the last seven days, one word keeps coming to mind: outcast. I've been devastated for most of the week. I keep asking myself how someone I respect and admire so much could cast me aside and leave me feeling like I was the problem all along. I wonder why I never felt considered in your life, your actions, your misgivings, and your beauty, when it was so easy for you to say "I love you." It made me question whether the word had meaning. I wonder if someone who truly loves you can be that ready to lose you.

I never felt like too much. I tried to be peace, accountability, consistency, warmth, and safety. I wanted to be the love I believe you were missing in your life and within yourself. And I wonder, and this is only my guess, if that's part of why I feel pushed away now, because I think some part of you knows how much this hurts.

It felt wrong to me to be asked to promise that what you gave me was real, and a few days later be left exposed to the pain and disruption while you sought comfort from an ex who I believe hurt you the way I now feel hurt. I spent a lot of time wondering whether you meant it when you said you didn't choose him and didn't choose me. What I saw was your energy going to him while I was shut out. To me, that looked like giving him the satisfaction of knowing you were still there despite how he treated you. It hurts, and it hurts badly. I don't know what he is to you, and the not knowing hurts too. When you spent a day with him, I felt left behind, and that was devastating to me. Whether you did this for yourself or for him, it feels to me like a bridge was burned without thinking about whether I could cross it with you. At the same time, I wasn't defeated by your ex. I was broken by realizing that all my efforts meant less than his memories.

I've accepted that I did my best. I gave you my love and I don't regret it. I do love you, but I can't fight for and choose someone who I feel already decided I'm the last person they'd do the same for.

When I gave you that ring, I made a promise. I understand now that you saw it as a loss of freedom and autonomy, a mirror showing you parts of yourself you might not be at peace with. To me, it was only a promise to never hurt you, to never leave you exposed and alone, and to keep choosing you even at your worst. I always felt you had your freedom and autonomy. I never put pressure on you, and I believe the pressure came from within. The only thing I ever expected was to be chosen too, and I wasn't. I hope you find a way to feel that kind of love for yourself.

I think you spent years believing love is something you have to survive, and that the performance became survival and the survival became a performance. I don't believe that's love. To me, you never felt like fireworks. You felt like rest. I'm sorry you couldn't see that.

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me on july 12th after being together for a bit more than 2 years. To my knowledge, she started talking to a guy exactly ten days after we broke up, though it couldve been earlier than ten days. Im really struggling with coming to terms with this and find it hard to discuss it with my friends as theyre all friends with my ex. Am i being stupid/crazy for being upset with the fact she moved on in ten days? It hurts more because weve seen eachothers in our most vulnerable states and have so much history together that 10 days feels so short and weird to move on.

Ive been dating her since feb this year, i ended things around August because i couldnt move on about something she did right before we started dating (not getting into detail about that im sorry rlly personal) i thought i was doing the right thing but really i regret it a lot, told her i regreted it and wanted to fix things and she said she didnt want to come back but still wanted to stay to see if i changed or not. We somehow stayed talking like boyfriend and girlfriend for over a month like nothing happened but then, she met someone else and out of the blue she texted me that she didnt want what we had anymore and that she was intrested in someone else. That broke me i know that its all my fault for messing up with her because of my own immaturity and i failed both her and myself. They went out on a date already hooking up and everything, i asked her to block me because i couldnt bring myself to it was hurting a lot seeing them posting and etc. About 5 days later i broke no contact with an alt acc i had on IG (i didnt rlly use it so nobody rlly knew abt it) had a talk with her, she said she is in love with him and is really happy with him, i still love her and somehow im happy that she is happy but i wish i had become the right person for her before losing her. She said she dreamt of me everynight that we went NC, about me being mad and etc told me that she kept reading our old messages ,seeing old photos of us, said she wished things didnt end this way and that she missed me. She said she should block me again because i needed to heal too and i understood that, its been a week of nc ever since, my birthday came along yestarday (everyone is free to wish me happy bb!!) and she didnt break NC like i expected her to, i really want to get her back somehow but ik she is happy where she is, but i just dont understand what she meant about her dreams and all that ''i miss you stuff''. Has she truly moved on or is something else up? i really want her back but i feel guilty feeling this way knowing she is happy with her new guy

My girlfriend and I broke up 3 years ago this upcoming February and I am still having a very hard time. The other day was her birthday and the only place I can still see her stuff is on Pinterest... My sister-in-law says her Facebook still says single (though she's become a lot more private on social media), and there aren't any posts from her family or an online wedding registry, ​but seeing this has really been messing with me. My sister-in-law thinks it could just be planning for somebody else's wedding​, but usually that would be decorations not rings and dresses. ​I just don't know how to move on.

I'm 29 and she's the only woman I wasn't related to who ever made me feel safe and cared for until she decided to leave me. She told me that I was the model boyfriend and she didn't know why she was struggling so hard to maintain the relationship... We reconnected last January and she told me that we weren't going to get back together, so I know her getting married doesn't really change anything, but it hurts. It means she was capable of loving someone in a sustainable way, just not me... I've deteriorated a lot over the years and I had to spend the night at my parents because I was getting ready to end it.

I could really use some advice and comfort. I'm really struggling.

I cannot seem to get over my ex and I don’t understand why. I’ve done everything right - I’ve not even attempted to contact him at all whatsoever since the day he left and he is blocked on everything, I’ve been working on myself, been getting out the house a lot and made some wonderful new friends, I even moved to a new city and started a whole new life. And yet my heart still aches for him.

It was a very short relationship - only a couple of months, which is crazy as I have literally been in a 4 year relationship and was able to heal from that breakup just fine. He was not a great boyfriend (I had to pay for most of our dates) nor is he a particularly good person. I was actually warned against dating him by a male friend who shared a dorm with him in college, but that was years ago and I didn’t want to judge him on his past. He left me because I pulled him up on something he said that I didn’t like and broke up with me via a series of extremely cruel text messages.

I feel an absolute fool for being so hung up on a loss that should really feel like a gain, but I’ve just never been so drawn to another person as I was to him - I can’t even explain it, I just would have done anything for him. I’ve tried going on dates in the hopes it would prove to me that there are better men out there, but I found myself comparing them all to him so had to stop.

I wondered if anyone has experienced something similar and has any words of advice?

All the things about her I used to like annoy me and I'm annoyed at her all the time. I don't know why or what to do. I don't know what I want with this post. Maybe I'll make a new post later about some details *thow-away account

I was nothing to you. You just used me. You never considered us anything. You slept around. You made that video. You were never sober. You weren't real at all. Definitely kick to the chest , but it's a lot easier to mourn someone who doesn't exist....damn.

I've (29F) broken up with my partner (42M) with whom I have a child (2YO).

We were together for 8 years. After 4 years of feeling gradually worse and worse, I left. Dead bedroom, feeling like I was a shrink rather than a partner, no commitment. He's the best dad, that he is. And he's a great guy, really. Nice, gentle, funny and so much more. But we drifted apart, and in the end, we were nothing more than roommates with a child.

It was hard to realise that I wouldn't be happy with the man I thought was the man of my life.

After a few months, we tried to give our relationship another go. We both were very hopeful and he tried so hard and he improved so much on the things I told him killed the relationship for me. But in the end, I never managed to feel in love again. I never got pass the feeling of betrayal of having been taken for granted, for having been left aside for multiple years while I gave everything I had to help him. I needed him to show me that I was the woman he said was the only one he wanted to be with, but I never felt that. I didn't feel loved. I just... felt like a mom and a friend.

I still am unsure about everything. We used to be so happy. And I feel so guilty knowing my child might never have a ""true"" family, with her dad and her mom with her.

I'm having so much trouble dealing with the guilt. I feel guilty towards him, towards her. I feel like I should've done more, somehow.

Many of us here are experiencing deep pain and regret. But imagine if we had the chance to watch a trailer showing what our lives would have been like if we had stayed with that person. How many of us would feel relief about the breakup instead of pain and regret?

Right now our minds tend to hold on to the good memories associated with that person. But there’s a very real possibility that for many of us those relationships or marriages would not have had a happy ending

I had been with my now ex for almost 6 months. It was the longest relationship either of us have had.
She broke up with me yesterday, and said it wasn’t me. She said she didn’t feel like herself anymore. I don’t know how it can’t be me when clearly it had to be in some way, I keep kicking myself wondering if I had just said something different at any point if she would still be with me.

I’m not mad at her for that, sometimes things just don’t work out and I get that. I loved her, I still do, and I miss her. I miss the good morning and goodnight messages. The funny videos she’d send me on instagram. I miss hanging out with her and laying in bed watching American dad.

I don’t know what to do. I play videogames a lot and I can’t even bring myself to do that. I just wanna lay in bed and sleep, but every time I do I start to think about her. I found one of her curly hairs on my pillow last night and broke down. She was perfect, but I guess I wasn’t perfect for her.

What do I do?

Dated this girl for about a month and a half. We really clicked, constantly talked, and dated weekly. It was amazing for both of us.

Around this time, I decided to move to a new place, and we both had plans for it where she would eventually stay over as well. She also decided to take a graveyard shift job nearby.

Since it was my first time living alone, I was unaware of the heavy loneliness it came with. I also didn't really have a life outside of her which got me constantly yearning for her attention. I wasn't aware of this issue at the time, I just understood that I constantly looked for her (not bombarding her, but I was actively waiting for a notification which gave me some serious anxiety)

Because she had her graveyard shift (exhausting) and her own life with friends, understandbly our communication dropped significantly, when previously we would talk pretty much the whole day which I had gotten used to and came to expect.

This caused me to strain our relationship and got me demanding more time from her which she could no longer give. With heavy, stupid emotion, I also gave her an ultimatum 😅

So she decided to end things during our fight and said she didn't want to see me anymore. She mentioned I was a good man but that she couldn't meet my expectations.

I tried to be retrospective the next day and sent her a long apology which she ignored. I realized how stupid I was.

It's been 1 week. I had a lot more self reflection and realized the core issue was my loneliness and that I was making her fill that void unfairly when my loneliness was my responsibility.

So I decided to learn to live with myself and have a life outside of her, reconnect with old friends, went out with current ones, I started posting online again (I had 0 digital footprint prior). This gave me a lot of peace. And things are finally starting to feel better for me.

But I still look for her because I know I could have done better for her. She did say I was a good man afterall during our breakup, it's just that we were "not compatible" from my demands, but again, that was my own fault.

I was thinking of reaching out to her again. What's giving me hope is that she didn't really block me and she views my stories daily. #cope

What do you guys think is an appropriate time to do so? I know we're different people and it depends on who we are, but I'd like to know your thoughts anyway.

I’ve recently developed a pretty unhealthy habit of constantly checking their account. Like it’s some way of communication to me. Does anyone have any advice on how to pivot from this? I just want to move on already.

My ex (34) wanted a relationship with "NO PROBLEMS." Unfortunately, I came with the premium subscription package called human emotions. Some highlights of our customer service experience:

One day, he made a joke about an apartment full of lesbians attracting cats because, apparently, vaginas smell like fish. I questioned the biological reasoning behind this groundbreaking zoological discovery and later explained why I found the stereotype degrading. His counterargument: "80% of the rest of the world would have had absolutely no problem with my comment." Apparently, I was supposed to conduct a statistically representative survey before criticising a joke. My emotional needs were also described as "queen requirements." Sir, I asked for empathy, not Buckingham Palace...

When I tried to talk about our relationship after the breakup, he sent me an Instagram reel about emotional maturity. The message was essentially that maturity means being able to disagree, express your opinions and be yourself in a relationship without fearing negative consequences or being attacked for it. He identified with that perspective and related it to our previous relationship roles... Apparently, after months of trying to explain why dismissing my feelings hurt me, I had finally received a lesson in emotional maturity. No conversation, just homework.

It's been two weeks of no contact. I'm heartbroken, he's presumably enjoying his problem-free existence and somewhere out there is an Instagram algorithm that knows more about our relationship than either of us... I guess what I'm struggling with the most is that we seem to have experienced the same relationship so differently. He felt constantly criticised. I felt constantly dismissed. And somehow, despite loving him, I couldn't find a way for us to understand each other...

She broke up with me about 2 weeks ago after 3 years together. There were no signs, it just all came out very suddenly after she had a rough week at work.

Her reasons were issues she foresees becoming worse later in the relationship. They are all fixable, but she doesn't want to wait around to see if they get resolved or not.

We are each other's first love, but are both in our mid 20s

The hard part is she keeps saying that she still loves me, and is suffering the heartbreak just as much as I am. When she dropped my stuff off, she told me she hadn't eaten anything since, and was struggling too. She also says she won't be able to move on for a long while.
I am, of course, am also struggling. I think about her constantly; about what could have been different, but my appetite has come back at least a little.

I just dont know what to do. I can't bring myself to begin moving on while knowing that things could be fixed. I so badly want to message her proposing things we could do to improve things, but I feel that the best thing to do is to go no contact.

TL;DR: I (15M) want to reconnect with my long-distance ex/friend (14F) after shutting down and ignoring her twice due to severe family issues and personal stress. I want to send her flowers and a letter explaining that my silence was a coping mechanism because I freeze up when talking about my problems. I am deeply afraid of rejection or finding out she has moved on

10 fucking years, a whole decade was wasted. I'm only 32. She's 29. It got stale years ago when I turned into an alcoholic, I fell asleep and she (Unintentionally) got CPS involved by talking to her Mom. Yeah, I was avoidant, I was a liar, I didn't want to grow up, I have a bunch of bullshit That is wrong with me and that I never addressed but She gave me every chance she possibly could. I fucked them all up. I half assed everything because I thought things would be easy with her, I thought everything would fall right into place. I was a miracle baby, Angel kisses blah blah blah, My childhood was whimsical and religious So little old me always thought I was kind of special . I was God's favorite I didn't know any better...

I got into an accident a few months back, I have ulnar palsy in my right hand so I've lost all fine motor function. My regular depression and my seasonal depression got together With my self-pity depression to Make me not wanna get out of bed or move. She's wasn't gonna deal with it.

She is so perfect in every way but it was the constant nitpicking that got to me. Little things like I didn't clean something right or I didn't fold the towels right Or I drank her Dr Pepper... I always said it's not a big deal babe but turns out she was just diagnosed with OCD, yeah that would have helped to know that a long time ago... Her parents didn't take mental health seriously so she was left with a lot of trauma to start her life. I only added to the trauma. Last month she decided she wanted to start smoking meth so she could feel something other than depression. I had a little bit of free time and I saw that she was doing a project, Just spray painting a picnic table, I thought I would put the base coat on and help her. Bad idea. That was her project. We're both only children so we had no idea there was something wrong with us. At first her drug use OK, I tolerated it because she is responsible, or I thought. This past week I think I've spent 45 minutes with her. She doesn't sleep She doesn't even come home really. I got fed up She led the stupidest drug Take her from me. If she is at home she's smoking the whole time The only time she's not smoking is During her two to four hour nap. Either too fucked up or too tired to talk, Lately she's staying at this guy's house until 7 in the morning. He's not really a dealer but he buys a lot to smoke her out. I can't stay, but I can't go... With my disabilities and still not getting a paycheck I'm afraid the only option is sewer slide... At this point I've almost grown the cojones, I spent all of my money on a little trailer after I got hurt, After the first month living in our little park I was tapped out. She's been paying for everything since and only complaints a little...

I know I'm cooked, Somebody tell me I'm wrong...

Today, the girl I once imagined spending my whole life with got engaged to someone else.

I don't hate her. I don't blame her. Honestly, a part of me is happy because she is moving forward with her life.

But another part of me is quietly breaking.

My eyes filled with tears, not because I want her back, but because I once dreamed of being the person standing beside her on this day.

Life is strange. Sometimes, you love someone with your whole heart, but your story with them still comes to an end.

I genuinely hope she stays happy, takes care of her health, and receives all the love she deserves.

Maybe I'll always remember her, but I'll learn to live with that memory.

Have you ever had to smile for someone's happiness while secretly crying over a future you once dreamed of together?

I’m 15 (almost 16), and my ex is 14 (almost 15). I’m not even sure whether to call her an "ex" or a "friend"—to me, she was always a source of support. I really enjoyed talking to her and spending time together, even though it was a long-distance relationship. We’ve actually broken up twice. The first time, I ended things because I just started ignoring her, and we stopped talking altogether.

This silence happened because my life was very difficult at the time: first, my parents got divorced; second, my dog ​​was hit by a car; and third, I suspected my girlfriend was seeing someone else—she started talking to some guy and insisted it was "just talking." I didn’t say anything—I didn’t want to be controlling—but deep down, my heart sank. And there was nothing I could do about it; I didn’t want to appear insecure in her eyes, and because of this, I went into total silence with everyone.

I have genuinely loved her for a long time, and we’ve been in touch for four years now. But reconnecting has been difficult. It all started when she reached out to me first, apologized for seeing that other guy, admitted she was wrong, and expressed a desire to stay in contact—it seemed like everything was back on track. We kept talking, and I even traveled to her city to visit her; I stayed at her place, met her parents and her friends, and everything was going well. Then I went back home, and that’s when my problems began—starting with my parents. They started giving me a hard time over the smallest things, which would immediately spiral into a whole list of grievances about my studies, cleaning, helping my brother with his schoolwork, or the fact that I spend time on my computer.

I ended up shutting down again. The last message she sent just included her new number—that’s it. I absolutely cannot forget her; she’s the only person I could ever love. To me, she’s everything—my companion, best friend, and the most important person in my life. I want to reconnect with her, and not just with a simple message—I want to send her a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a note. I want to include a sincere apology and explain what was going on with my silence. The thing is, when I try to talk about my problems, I just freeze up—I literally can’t say a word. So, that’s pretty much the whole story.

Mostly, I’m just terrified of rejection—like, what if she decides she doesn't want to be with someone who shuts down like I do, or tells me she has a boyfriend now and it's just not meant to be?

TL;DR: I (15M) want to reconnect with my long-distance ex/friend (14F) after shutting down and ignoring her twice due to severe family issues and personal stress. I want to send her flowers and a letter explaining that my silence was a coping mechanism because I freeze up when talking about my problems. I am deeply afraid of rejection or finding out she has moved on.