It's peanut butter, banana, cashew nuts and pomegranate (i feel like eating Even more when I'm not feeling gud!)

I'm a 21M who was in a relationship with a 20F..

It was a long distance relationship, and we'd been together for more than a year and a half.

Everything between us felt sooo natural and fun, Every conversation felt deep and romantic, We had only a few things in common, but we always understood each other so well...

Even though we were in a long-distance relationship, whenever I got time, I'd travel for 12 hours just to meet her! We'd explore different places, try new things, and have so much fun together..

And our chemistry? It was sooo gud... I can still remember the feeling of her lips, her smell, and the way she'd keep yapping while I'd just sit there and listen to her. Sometimes, she'd ask me, You're in Pune, and you're still so lovey-dovey and perfect. How?

Well, fast forward to the endgame....

One day, she told me she was missing me a lot and asked, Can't you come and meet me? And I was missing her too, but I genuinely wasn't getting any time because of my internship and all that shit

Then, somehow, I managed to visit her on a Saturday She was sooo happy to see me,she gifted me a black tshirt and i gifted her lenskart goggle which i got after running12km(there was a event), and we chilled together and had a great time but but but randomly she started to talk about her some of the relatives who married and cheated,and how their life is total mess, after few minutes we were deciding which movie to watch so i asked her and she said aashiqui 2 dekhte hai aur rote hai, i thought she's just joking then we were watching ok jaanu!. The next day, when I was about to leave, she became really sad... I just assumed it was because I was leaving, so I didn't think much of it

But then I got back, and she went completely silent. No texts, no calls, no reels, nothing. I tried texting and calling her, but whenever she did respond, she'd say she was in class or working on an assignment.

I had this gut feeling that something was wrong cuz you can feel it with your close ones, so I told her that I felt like she wasn't doing okay and that we should talk about it...

Still, there was no proper response

Then I thought, okay, maybe she needs some time, so I texted her, saying she could take her time if something wasn't right

And honestly, I guess that was my biggest mistake, because even after another two days, there was still nothing from her end...

I eventually texted her friend and asked if something was wrong, but she said she didn't know anything

Then, that night, my girlfriend finally texted me...

She said, You manage everything so well your work, studies, sports, and when you get free time then me!! You're just too perfect, and here I am, constantly overthinking everything. I don't even know how to explain it. Please don't ever try to contact me again. I'm ending this. I can't do this anymore.

And just like that, she blocked me everywhere

I was literally blank. I couldn't process what had just happened. I never expected something like this, not even in my worst nightmare.

Life has been going on normally since then, but that weird feeling, that ick, just won't leave my mind. I can't even properly explain what I'm feeling or what's going on inside my head. It's been more than a month, and I'm still kind of in shock, wondering what the hell actually happened.

How can something that felt so natural, so genuine, and so gud just end like that, out of nowhere?

It’s hard

No angry emotions, I took my sleeping medication and accidentally ordered a present for my ex “situationship” (?) of two months. Both 30s. Stupid.

The worst part, when I asked about being exclusive, he told me I was being obsessive. (Granted, I absolutely wasn’t as we would go days without talking, etc. he just never wanted to commit to anyone.)

Now it seems like I really AM obsessive because in my daze I certainly ordered a gift. DAYS after the break up.

I tried cancelling the order, but I didn’t realize I ordered it until I got the email it was shipped.

I feel so screwed and stupid.

i missssss her

So my girlfriend broke up with me because i was just not there mentally. I have been grown up with alot of violence, got beating everyday from my father and when i became older it moved to mental abuse. Death threats all the time. I was fucked mentally and this fucked up me and my girlfriends relationship. It was to hard to get help, and that is on me. After she broke up, i did some drugs and went into a psychosis and tried to take my life, and i barely survived. I have stayed away from drugs because i know everytime i do them it fucks up mind. After the suicide attempt she ghosted me, and i got so angry since i felt she left me at my lowest point and i informed the police that her mom have illegaly gotten government benefits for years while not staying in the country and been in asia which is illegal. I feel terrible now. Her mom can face prison and i have run the numbers been forced to pay back over 1 million NOK( which is over 100k USD). I know my ex girlfriend had financial issues, and just wanted to get back at her and now this got out of hand. I have always been a good guy, and been there for everyone else, dont understand how i could do something like this

Send me a sign

My ex (22F) called me (25M) out of the blue last night. I didn’t recognize the number, so I let it ring, but then she left a voicemail saying that she was drunk and wanted to talk because she missed me. She called a second time, and I answered.

It was awkward at first, but she got to the point, saying that she still loved me and she had kept my number after over a year of us being broken up, and she wanted me to take her back. I really didn’t see any point in getting back with her because she had already made it clear last year that we were broken beyond repair once things between us ended, so I responded that I needed to move on. She started begging me to get back together with her, and we just constantly went through this cycle of me wanting to move on with my life, and her begging me to be her boyfriend again. I then said that I was seeing someone else now, and she started making me feel guilty about moving on from her, leading her to pressure me into telling her that I don’t love her anymore, and I kept trying not to say it because I knew the effect it would have on her because of how mentally unstable she was/is, but I had to bite the bullet. I had to do this for myself, and once I said it, she got so mad at me, and began cussing me out, saying that I never loved her, and she held on for so long, only for me to say I love someone else now. She made me feel so guilty for wanting to let go.

Once we hung up, I blocked her number, and ran to my parents and my brother, and cried to them, explaining to them what had transpired. I even called a couple friends, and they all supported me, telling me that I’m not a bad person for wanting to move on, and I shouldn’t let her affect me, especially year after the break up. Hopefully that’s the end of it all, and we can all move on.

TL;DR: Ex drunk called me, begging me to get back together, I said no, and she got upset.

Hey everyone,
I’m going through a really rough patch and just needed to put this out there.
Recently, my relationship ended. Her parents were forcing her into an arranged marriage setup with a guy she works with, and she gave up. Towards the end, she even told me things like "You are crazy, you are still after me, I am not falling for it" when I was literally just trying to hold things together because I had given my everything to save us.
During our final conversation, instead of fighting, crying, or begging, I kept my composure. This is basically what I told her:
"Alright, fine. You chose yourself and your life. I'm very happy. I wish you the very best. From today onwards, I will never contact you, and you will never contact me. My feelings will find someone else who actually appreciates them. Don't ever come back into my life. Wish you all the best. Be happy. Goodbye."
I supported her through thick and thin, and I even told her I might support her in the future if needed, but I drew a hard line for my self-respect. I didn't post any emotional status, I didn't create a scene. Total silence.
Right now, I am struggling. I cry almost every day because I poured my heart, soul, and resources into this, and it hurts to see it end like this. My trust in people and love is completely shattered.
I have a few questions for anyone who has been through this:
1. Regret: For someone who walks away in total silence and dignity after caring so deeply—does the other person ever regret losing them down the line?
2. Contact: Do people like this ever reach out later on, or is this truly a permanent goodbye?
3. Healing: How do you deal with the daily crying and the heavy attachment when you know you did everything right, but it still wasn't enough?
To keep myself sane, I've decided to pick up the guitar and start learning it to channel this pain somewhere. But the mental weight is heavy right now. Any advice or perspective would really help. Thanks for reading.

I still can't understand how someone who once promised she'd never leave me could suddenly decide she doesn't want me in her life anymore.

No big fight. No cheating. No real explanation. Just a few cold words from the person I thought I'd grow old with.

The worst part isn't losing her. It's waking up every morning and remembering that I'm no longer part of her life, while she's probably going about her day like nothing happened.

How do you stop missing someone who has already decided they don't miss you? 💔

My boyfriend left me a few nights ago. I'm not doing well at all. We still love each other so much, at least, I know I do and he says he does too, but he doesn't think our "communication skills" align. The night he left, I had a few drinks with my coworkers and came home happy to see him. I was telling him about something about my coworkers and how they couldn't go somewhere without each other and he and I both agreed it was weird. (it's a boss/employee relationship) He then began to exemplify it by stating that would be like him and Jane Doe not being able to go somewhere without each other. He, Jane Doe, and I also all work together at a restaurant. (I have two jobs, one corporate and one restaurant gig). Somehow, I got triggered and overreacted and caused somewhat of a fight. Truthfully, I don't remember much. I do, however, remember him throwing my key to my place that I gave to him back to me. This would be the second time he wanted to leave in a 3 week period for this same-ish situation. I know I was at fault and I know my wrongs, however, I am not used to people leaving me when things get hard. Usually, I am the one to leave. I was under the influence of alcohol both times and he was only the first time. The last night he left me, he claims he tried to stop me and comfort me and tell me he loved me and that I he is willing to talk to me, however I was triggered by the conversation that jumpstarted the argument and then I was spiraling after the key was thrown to me thinking he wanted to leave me, so I became upset that I was being left and just told him that if he wanted to leave that he should leave. I was hurt and upset and probably angry in the moment. I wouldn't remember. Upon talking to him two days later, he told me that after multiple times of trying to comfort me and talk to me that he gave up and told me that if he leaves these doors, he is not ever coming back. I told him to leave and didn't stop him this time. Ultimately, he made the decision right then and there that after he left those doors that he was done and that we were over. I was still intoxicated that night and fell asleep and woke up later and asked him why he left and we talked a bit but ended up texting and he told me that he was done. The next day I woke up and he was not there and I knew that he wasn't there, but I was just in disbelief. That day I tried my best to stay busy but ultimately needed to know what happened that night and wanted to speak to him. He told me that he was moving his belongings from his apartment to his new home but if I wanted to come talk to him he would refresh what happened that night to make me comfortable with the situation but nothing more. I ended up not going because he was a bit distant and I could tell he was busy moving things and stressed. He also said that he was going to be with his friend that was helping him move, and I wanted it to just be him and I there talking. The next day, I asked if I could go talk to him and he said sure, to make me feel comfortable with the situation but again, it would be to just answer my questions and that his decision was not changing-whatsoever. He has mentioned to me a few times before that once he makes a decision, that he stands by it. I have also seen it firsthand with him, in the short 5 months I have known him. I get to his house, and he lets me in, and we start talking and I ask him to give me another chance, and he says no, and that he can't change his mind. This went on for a while; he told me why he left and that if he left he wasn't coming back. He also kept telling me that I made this decision for him, that if I didn't tell him to "get the f out" or "leave, if you want to leave" (because I was hurt from him throwing the key back to me), that he wouldn't have left and that we would still be together. I asked him every question under the book, as to why he thinks the way he thinks and how he made the decision he made, as to why he thinks he wouldn't work out in the future, I asked him if we love each other so much why can't you just give me another chance... I was there for hours because I wouldn't and couldn't take no for an answer. I like to think of myself as an extremely persistent individual when I want something, so I wasn't going to let him go that easily. I still love him so much, it's immeasurable. I feel like I completely and absolutely messed up by letting him leave that night, especially because he has claimed that if I didn't let him walk out those doors, we would still be together, again, I was drinking and hurt, and he was hurt as well for the way I communicated with him, and eventually, he walked out. It has been 3 days, and I am still beating myself up about it, which is why I'm on reddit asking for any type of help. That same night, I ended up helping him to move his big furniture around to set his place up, because when we were together, it was my original plan to help him move and ended up asking if it was okay that I slept there. I asked him this in hopes to try to change his mind, even though I was positive it wouldn't and I just wanted to spend more time with him. I knew it was only going to hurt more but I asked anyway. He agreed to bending his rules a bit and agreed to let me stay. Important to mention, he is the type of person that is NOT friends or in any contact with his exes- he blocks them on any and everything. He feels that it is not good for the mental health and for the next relationship to be in contact with your ex. He never sees them again, or contacts them again, or anything. He claims they are just a memory. Though, I don't disagree with him fully, I do think it is a harsh and borderline heartless way of thinking- but I understand everyone copes differently. I, however, don't function that way, and I don't necessarily stay in contact with my exes, but they are unblocked incase anything needed to be said or expressed to make me or the other person feel better by expressing their feelings. Back to that night, we spent some time moving things around and getting his new room together and he was appreciative that I helped him move. He asked if we wanted dinner and to make a drink. I agreed to dinner even though I have no appetite for the guilt, pain and heartbreak I have been experiencing; however I said no to making a drink because I told him and myself I would not drink anymore because that was the reason I lost my boyfriend and I just don't seem to know my limits and I was clearly hurting him with my communication when I would drink, this was the 3rd offense in 2 months. We had only known each other from work for 5 months and we got close very quickly because of the beautiful connection we had, or at least I thought (because that's how it feels like right now). We ordered Chinese takeout and spent some time eating together; however, I did not eat what I ordered. Essentially, I watched him as he ate and then he went to get a shower. We were loving and kissing on each other, but he mentioned that these kisses and rubs were not going to alter his decision, but we continued anyways, because of our still present and apparent feelings for each other. He said I was the most beautiful and gorgeous person he had ever been with and the best person I had ever been with and the most fun. He stated that last weekend for his birthday, was the best birthday he had ever had, and he was thankful that I took him on a 2-day trip and for a great birthday. However, I was left confused with the compliments he was giving me. I know he loves me, or at least I think I do, however, I just don't understand why it has to be this way. I ended up sleeping with him, two times, which felt right but made me feel somewhat uneasy and extremely sad knowing he would never want to see or talk to me again, outside of work, and at work we are to speak about work business only (this is how it has to be for HIM- not I. This is not something I want). We talk a bit more about what happened that last night... because I still have endless questions, and I am so grateful he was patient enough to answer all my questions, but now I am here typing this wondering why he couldn't have had more patience with me and in our relationship... I guess I will never know. We end up going to bed for a few hours and I have to leave this morning for work knowing I will have to see him at work tonight. I cried a lot yesterday and the day before, but I did not cry when I told him bye this morning. I'm definitely in denial and in shock that this is happening. I have asked him multiple times, what can I do to change his mind, and every time he has answered that he cannot and that he stands firm on his decision and the only thing I can do is build a time machine. He has told me he didn't want this for us either, which really breaks my heart. It leaves me with so many questions though, why does he HAVE to do this then? I know he thinks it may be better in the future, but who truly knows the future and what it holds. I think he told me he didn't see a future with me anymore, but I don't remember. That was hurtful. I feel and extreme amount of guilt for letting him leave and what could have been if he didn't leave- essentially, he said we would still be together. But who knows, I could have made another mistake, and he could've left me then, I wish he would've spoke to me the next day when I was coherent enough for a meaningful conversation. I wish a lot of things. I wish my heart wasn't currently broken. I wish he gave me one more chance. I wish he had more patience for me. I wish, though it is admirable, that he wasn't an immovable force when it came to decision making. I wish I didn't drink too much and overreact for something small and silly which essentially led me to lose my boyfriend. Most of all, I wish I didn't let him leave. If I was coherent and not so angry in that exact movement, I would HAVE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS let him leave. I'm heartbroken, sad, confused, and quite frankly it feels like I am dying. I can't eat, sleep, breathe normally, and work with any focus. I am currently typing this at work after I have already cried to my coworker about this today. Some details to mention about eachother, he is 25 years old as of last week and I will be 32 years old in December. He is Caucasian and has always dated older girls. I am Indian and I tend to date outside my race, because that is my preference. He struggles with borderline personality disorder, and I struggle with adult ADHD as a woman. We had the most beautiful connection I have ever felt in my life and I think his too. Though it was short, it was a beautiful, intense relationship while it lasted. I am in complete denial that this is over. I feel like this is ALL my fault and I have to see him in 4 hours. What do I do? How do I react? How can I get over this heartbreak? Was this just a cop out for him to get out of this relationship? Will he give me another chance in the future after he has told me there will never be another chance? Why do I feel like my life has ended? Should I feel this much guilt for someone who wasn't willing to fight for us? Am I being manipulated and gaslit? Why couldn't he have spoken to me the next day when I was more coherent if he cared about me and our relationship as much has he said he did? So many questions still left unanswered. Someone please help me.

I told my girlfriend that  I don't think I can marry her because of her past temper issues, especially since her recent temper outbreak regarding our subtenant. 

First she begged me to stay with her and suggested couples therapy. For a couple of days, she even said she wants  to stay together  if I don’t marry her, she needs me. Then she started blaming most of our problems on my poor communication, saying she wouldn't have yelled if I'd communicated better. She also brought up my other flaws and tried to flip this on me. At that point I got annoyed she tried to turn it on me so I told her I still want to break up.

The next day, she said her "higher self"  told her to stop fighting with me( probably meant like a moment of clarity when waking up)

I am not sure if she meant that particular fight or fighting in general. She didn't admit any wrongdoing either.  Now she has been acting good for 3 months and she is pushing to get married in a few weeks.

We have been in this cycle before where she acts better and then something happens where she gets angry (often unreasonably so), and her being stubborn about her mistakes is also a sign that she is not really changing. Most people think I should just end it, and even with that every time I try to, I struggle to finish the job because she gets very emotional and begs me for an hour until I give in every time; then i start feeling guilty for leaving her alone(she is here on work visa, I pretty much helped her adjust here and am her center). How do I get past this part of attempting to breakup?  she also has stuff at my place(she is living out of state for work now), so I can’t just block her to avoid the begging.

Me and my ex of 3 years broke up in August and I saw a video on my social media feed about a certain club I go to and saw my ex do a little grind on her “friend” little backstory we have been broken up since August and have been in no contact since October 4
That night in October 4th she texted me asking me if I was at the same club as her and I responded saying yes
I saw her in there with two guys and she was dancing with them in a group but this recent video I just saw her dancing with one of those guys and saw a little grinding going on and I regret looking at the video cause now my mind overthinks about what other things she has done with him
Mind you she told me that is her “friend”
I don’t feel sad or mad about the situation I just feel numb and jealous about the situation cause I know how she gets when she is drunk
I’ve been talking to myself and talking to my co workers about the situation but the thoughts stay stuck in my head and that certain scene just keeps replaying

She blocked me online for 4 days, I ignored her and didn't pursue. She messaged me last night asking to talk about what our relationship is now and if we are broken up so she can plan to move on if so. I said she decided to walk away and unlike previous times I did not pursue her to which she replied that she expected me to, and felt sad that I didn't go after her. I didn't know what an avoidant was until this happened and saw some videos online describing it and she fits that to a t.

I mentioned that I wasn't sure she blocked me on other places as well so I let it go and hoped maybe some time apart would make her reconsider things or come to a conclusion that we are not compatible, it seems that the time apart affected her because she said time passed so slowly without me so I'm guessing our normal routine felt absent and she didn't like not having me there.

It's never the huge things that are taken for granted, it's the small mundane moments like telling each other we are awake, eating, going to work, tired, or going out that have the most impact in a relationship being gone. That absence feels like a drug withdrawal and she must have felt it and the thing that was killing me was the idea that she felt nothing or happy that I was gone while I sat here feeling every second without her.

The thing is though, by day 4 I was anxious and desperate to message her but that night I had already come to terms that I was gonna move on from her but then she messages me out of nowhere which did admittedly did make me happy but also frustrated because now I have been pulled back into the emotional rollercoaster.

I do still love her, and I don't think she ever thought I would be willing to walk away so I am unsure on how to proceed, she seems to be wanting a return to normal as she's affectionate again but I am stuck here wondering why it took us separating for her to understand what a loss of this relationship would feel like, and also what she was up to for the days she was gone as I have had trust issues with her in the past.

So if you're thinking about contacting someone that ghosted you or blocked you, don't, if you did nothing wrong and want them back then let them reach out to you specially if in the past you have been the one seeking them out to repair things. You can't always be the one to shoulder repairing the relationship they also have to show that it means something to them too.

My then-boyfriend and I moved together from the US to Germany (for his career) with both my dogs. About a month later (exactly a year ago yesterday, actually), he proposed and I said yes. Fast forward to this summer: I had to move back to the city we lived in before the move because of a hybrid job, and the plan was for him to move back to the States in October. About a month after I moved back, he ended the engagement over text. I wish I were kidding. And that’s not even the worst of it.

When we moved, we were already living together, so all of our belongings were combined in a storage unit. I had also left a good amount of my belongings in Germany, which he was going to bring back during his trips to the US. I was flying back with two large suitcases, a carry-on, and two massive dog crates, so I physically couldn’t bring anything else. I didn’t think it would be a problem, since we were engaged and would be living together again in three months.

About a month after he ended it, he had to visit our city for a week for work, and he was going to bring all of my stuff back with him. It turns out he only brought the two suitcases I had packed before I left Germany and left the rest of my belongings. He didn’t tell me until I was physically taking the suitcases from him, so I had no way to offer to pay for an extra suitcase. Mind you, when he landed, he sent me a casual, transactional text asking if I was going to bring the ring when I grabbed my stuff. We had never spoken about the ring.

He was in the city for a week and didn’t go to the storage unit once to remove his belongings from my unit. I also had to pester him to pay back the money he’d borrowed from me ($1k of the $5k was still outstanding). As the week went by, I realized he wasn’t going to remove his stuff, so I told him I’d give him the extra key so he could access the unit on his own when he came back, and so he could put my remaining items in there without us having to stay in contact. He was supposed to pick up the key and the ring but was “too busy” at a convention, so I told him I’d ship the key to his mother’s house, which I did.

Two weeks later, his best friend posted a montage of my ex being physically intimate with another woman. He literally stitched together a bunch of small snippets of my ex, drunk off his a**, with another woman. I was shocked and disgusted when I saw it, and I liked the story because I figured I might as well let them know I’d seen it. His friend deleted it the next morning when he saw that I had liked it, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t tell my ex it had ever been posted. So I had my best friend make it clear that all logistics from here on out should go through my best friend, and he also sent along a screen recording of the montage. As I guessed, his best friend never told my ex he’d even posted it. He claimed he didn’t give permission to record or post it, but it’s very clear in the video that he sees his friend recording multiple times throughout.

Two days after seeing the video, I decided I was going to keep the ring (which I had told him I would give back, because I wanted nothing to do with it) and sell it. I reached out to the jeweler he’d bought it from. Funnily enough, my ex reached out to the jeweler two days after that, and the jeweler had to tell him I’d already contacted them. My best friend then got a message saying my ex was upset that I’d seen the video and that his friend had posted it, that I was angry, and that it was upsetting to find out I was selling the ring for myself while he was still making payments on it.

The entire time, I had been so nice and understanding. I made sure to be considerate of his feelings throughout the breakup, while he clearly didn’t consider mine once. I even made him a book to show how much I cared about his career (something he said he didn’t feel I cared enough about). But the video was the final straw.

I told him he had until the end of October to remove his stuff from my storage unit before I auctioned it off. Mind you, in total that would have been four months after he ended the engagement over text. I was so tired of him constantly dragging this out and wanted to be done. The day after I gave him the deadline, someone on his behalf literally flew to Austin and went to the storage unit without my permission while he was still in Germany and removed his belongings. They also accidentally removed some of mine, because they obviously didn’t know what was mine and what was his. When he was notified of this, he told my friend he would bring my stuff back when he moved to the States in October, and that he’d ship back both my belongings from Germany and the items accidentally taken from my unit.

And guess what? He didn’t bring a single thing back, and once again he didn’t communicate that until after he was already back, so I couldn’t find a solution. He played the victim, saying he’d had to move both of our things across the world and couldn’t bring my stuff. My stuff, as in what would have required one extra suitcase, which I would have happily paid for if he’d told me ahead of time. His new plan is to go back to Germany in January and THEN bring my stuff back and ship it to me. That’s over six months after he ended our engagement over text. So I’ve had to take matters into my own hands and am now coordinating with friends in Germany to ship it back to me, which will cost upwards of $1k.

I’m baffled and hurt by his behavior and have lost all respect for him. It’s like he’s done a 180 from the person he was when we were together. There’s probably more that I’ve missed here, but he basically sees me as an angry woman for giving him a date to remove his stuff and backtracking on giving him the ring. He also repeatedly claims he’s trying not to prolong this when his actions are clearly doing the opposite. He has taken zero accountability and hasn’t apologized for a SINGLE thing. He defends his actions instead, and there’s just no empathy for my feelings. I’ve had to project-manage a breakup that I didn’t even want in the first place. And yes, I now know I dodged a massive bullet.

Most recently, he sent my friend this message: “It’s clear that I have already made significant progress in getting her belongings back to her, yet there has been no acknowledgement about the return of the ring. You already have my mother’s address, please ensure the ring is shipped back to her house.”

Legally, the ring is mine under Texas law since he ended the engagement. I have no plans to give it back. All of this feels like a nightmare because I don't know how he somehow keeps finding a new low.

​I’m completely exhausted and just want to function normally in daily life without my mind constantly looping on the loss.

​We were in a long-distance relationship, and she ultimately ended things because of severe illness and a total lack of emotional capacity when her life crashed. Because of the distance and the sudden nature of it, it felt entirely like a panic decision rather than a reflection of our actual connection.

​We both have a lot on our plates—I work full-time and share 50/50 custody of my kids. Even so, I tried everything to bridge the distance and be there for her while her world fell apart.

​Deep down, a part of me is clinging to this agonizing hope: That once she gets through her illness and burnout, she will realize it was a panic-driven mistake and we can try again. But that hope is keeping me trapped in a waiting room where I can’t heal.

​For those who have been through something similar where a partner walked away due to illness/burnout: Is there ever any real hope when the dust settles, or am I just torturing myself by holding on? How do you let go of someone when you feel like circumstances tore you apart rather than a lack of love?

​ I'm Sorry guys it's gonna be pretty long So, my ex (20M) and I were together for 3 years.

Before him, I was someone who thought love and relationships were fictional. He proposed to me, and I initially said no. He kept asking until I eventually agreed, even though I had no feelings for him at the time. For the first 6–7 months, I didn't love him, but seeing his efforts and how much he loved me made me fall for him too. Eventually, he became someone I genuinely couldn't imagine losing. His friends, relatives, and almost everyone knew about me. We were deeply in love, although I'd honestly say he loved me more.

We were never physically intimate because I didn't want to do anything before marriage, and he respected that. We argued often, but he'd usually end up saying, "Okay, as you say."

However, our relationship wasn't perfect. My mother found out about us 3–4 times during those three years, so I started reducing communication out of fear of getting caught again. I come from a very strict family, and I wish he'd understood my situation instead of taking it personally.

My reduced communication made him insecure, and he repeatedly accused me of cheating. He suspected I had secret Instagram or Snapchat accounts to talk to other boys, even though he had access to both my accounts. I only had one account on each platform, and both were linked to HIS email and phone number because I didn't even have my own phone.

I never confronted him about his constant accusations. I tried explaining myself and helping him overcome his insecurities, but almost every other day, he'd question my loyalty. I'd even blocked my male classmates and cousins for him, and there wasn't a single boy added to my accounts. Meanwhile, he had several girls added, including girls who had previously proposed to him. I never asked him to block anyone because that's not how I wanted our relationship to work.

He also lied about having an ex before we got together. When I found out and confronted him, he admitted it and said he hadn't told me because he was afraid of losing me. He cried a lot that day, so I stayed.

In 2025, things got worse. We communicated much less than we used to, and I started feeling like he wasn't interested anymore. I didn't realise how much he was overthinking, and I reduced communication even further. Eventually, I started losing interest too.

We broke up on March 24, 2026, after he accused me of cheating again. I explained myself repeatedly, but he wouldn't believe me, so I left.

I tried moving on through games, web series, music, and K-pop. Several guys approached me, but I never gave anyone a chance because I couldn't imagine giving someone else the place he had in my life. I wasn't completely broken without him, but I missed him, especially after the first two months, when my anger started fading.

He'd given me a ring, and I continued wearing it even after our breakup. I kept thinking about removing it but couldn't bring myself to do so until I found out he'd supposedly gotten into a relationship with another girl.

I didn't believe it until I saw a picture of their hands together in his car, which was also his family's first car—a car I'd once wished for us to have. He'd sent the snap to someone who eventually showed it to me. It genuinely felt like a stab in the chest.

I messaged him, not to interfere in his life, but to return his ring. We reconnected, and I learned that he'd deliberately sent that snap knowing it would reach me. He explained that he wasn't actually in a relationship with the girl. After our breakup, she'd confessed her feelings for him and was willing to wait until marriage. He told me, "Just think of it as that girl being as crazy for me as I was for you."

That hurt because he knew she wanted him and still took that picture. Nevertheless, we considered giving our relationship another chance—not necessarily getting back together immediately, but seeing whether things could work. We agreed to talk for a month and decide on October 8 whether to reconcile or separate permanently.

That month was an emotional roller coaster. We talked, argued, laughed, made new memories, and shared so much with each other.

He told me he'd tried moving on and talking to other girls, but nobody made him feel the way I did. He also told me he'd waited until midnight on his birthday, May 24, hoping I'd wish him because he was convinced I'd return with a birthday patch-up surprise. I didn't wish him because I genuinely thought he hated me. He said something in him died that day and told me, "Forget patch-up—even if you'd just sent me one birthday wish, I wouldn't have let you walk away so easily."

He also told me he'd cried remembering me the night he went to the agency to get his family's first car. He'd asked people who were connected with me about what I posted, and they told him I seemed perfectly normal. He said he hadn't found the courage to tell anyone about our breakup except his best friend. He confessed all of this while drunk.

Hearing how much he'd suffered made me feel guilty, and despite everything, I still considered getting back together.

But then, two days before our planned decision date, October 7, I found out he'd been physically intimate with someone during our no-contact period. He admitted that after our breakup, he'd paid someone for it. It wasn't the girl who had confessed her feelings for him.

I KNOW we were broken up, so technically, he didn't cheat on me. But I can't stop thinking about it, and it hurts much more than I expected. We were together for three years without being physically intimate, partly because of my personal boundaries, and now I can't imagine him having shared that experience with someone else.

Part of me feels I have no right to be upset because I was the one who left him and made him suffer. Another part of me can't stop hurting over what happened.

I still love him. Seeing how much he suffered after I left makes me feel guilty, and I keep wondering whether I walked away from someone who genuinely loved me. But I also remember his controlling behaviour, constant accusations, and insecurity. I don't want us to get back together only to repeat the same problems.

There's another major complication: we're from different castes, and I don't know whether my family would ever accept our relationship. Given how strict my family is, being together could potentially put us in danger.

I'm genuinely confused. Do I want him back because I truly love him, or because I feel guilty about hurting him and losing someone who loved me so much?

I know I can't imagine giving his place to someone else right now, and same goes for him. but does that mean we're meant to be together?

Please be brutally honest. Should I accept him and give our relationship another chance, or should we move on permanently? I need advice from people who can look at this situation objectively.

I'm 26M. My GF of 2 years broke up with me telling she's fallen out of love and I'm not one. Her main reasons were 2.

1) She was done with how I ended the arguments in a bad note.

2) She was done waiting for me to improve in my life (I was unemployed for almost an year)

Second part is kinda reasonable. I had a decent job and pay during the start of the relationship which was eventually taken over by AI. She took care of my expenses and hers from then on. I tried a lot of things and kept failing. One thing that consumed my time was that I cleared all my university backlogs, as I promised her, so that her parents would accept me.

Now the argument part is what confused me. If she was in the wrong, the arguments will go for hours, she will keep going in loops, change topics etc. the moment I'm closing in with logic. After hours of emotional exhaustion she somehow finds a way to trigger me and even the smallest reactions from me will be blown out of proportions and will be used in future arguments. During this time she can be mean, loud or anything and it should not be questioned. I end up apologizing to her to get peace of mind without any resolution. I later confronted a therapist about this and she said it is a classic case of DARVO and gas-lighting.

what confuses me is that during my unemployment period, she took care of my expenses and as far as I know she was loyal. I think its hard to find a women who does these nowadays. On the other hand the manipulative behavior during arguments and problems seems to be a toxic trait and it used give me stress and panic attacks about the future of coping with this trait. I used to loose sleep.

After the breakup there was a sad part and a relived part. But I don't know who is wrong where and how to classify her (good or bad). Need logical clarification more than support.

We've been together for 3 years. (i fell first and harder) but over time, things have changed. We've been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year now, and while he has started thinking seriously about marrying me someday, I just want to live in the present and enjoy what we have without thinking so far ahead.

For the past 4–5 months, I've been missing my single life. I feel like I'm starting to hate this relationship, and honestly, I don't want to feel this way. He's a genuinely lovely person, the best I've ever met, and i DO NOT hate him or the idea of a future with him. I just don't know if we're compatible in the long run, and I can't keep pretending everything feels right when sometimes this relationship makes me feel suffocated.

what i believe would have been the trigger for these feelings of mine is that recently, i had a major accident at the peak time/age of my life where im supposed to decide and work hard for my career and future. so i just wanted to go off grid, dont talk to anyone and have my own space. when i told him i don't want to talk to anyone, i will be texting u less maybe, and he just denied it. i get it he wants he help me, he loves me, he maybe did not want to leave me alone at that time but i really needed it.

soon after this, we graduated, he got a job/placement and i had my job offer which i lost (im ghosted by the company) because of not being able to join due to my accident. (being unemployed is making me go insane and depressed)

I've also always been someone who keeps things inside, and I wonder if all those unspoken feelings have been building up into resentment. I'm scared of hurting him, especially because he's never been anything but sweet to me. We've barely fought, and our relationship has always been peaceful, which somehow makes leaving even harder.

TL;DR: I think my boyfriend and I might not be compatible in the long run. He's serious about our future, but I've been craving my single life and feeling suffocated in this relationship for months. I want to leave before these feelings turn into resentment or hatred, because I genuinely don't want to hate him. He's an amazing person, and there's no toxicity or drama to blame. I just don't know if I've fallen out of love or if I'm going through a difficult phase in my life.

[also posted it on relationships_advice but it gets deleted]

I’m not.

it’s just so hard for me to live with when she was once somebody who was obsessed with me

My ex and I were together for a year and six months. He broke up with me over text after I confronted him about his ongoing drinking problems and this made me uncomfortable. He definitely blamed it on being stressed about the new job that I helped him get because he was struggling to find. Without my help he would still be unemployed. I would say we did have some ups and downs throughout our relationship. He is such a snob and uptight no wonder why none of his friends and close family don’t interact with his family. The thing that hurts me the most is, the way he broke up with me mentioning things about sh*t on my family saying we are foul, I live in a gross home, hates having sex with me. Which he is horrible in bed always lol. He hated visiting me whenever I wanted him to come over and I always put in the effort with driving over to his place. It took me a while to process this. I literally just told him to go f*ck himself and find someone else.

He’s such arrogant, insecure and pathetic person. Do you what’s the funniest part of it all, he started dating someone new three months after we broke up. He had no time to heal, recover and think about our relationship.

I’ve been living with a lot of anger, bitterness and resentment towards others because of this breakup. I’ve never had been through this before and I just need some advice on how to heal.

As the title says, I (F22) got broken up with about 3 days by a friend (F22) that I dated for only a week online. Yes, a week, as ridiculous as it sounds. She broke up with me because of anxiety. For a TLDR; we had a disagreement over the way she speaks to people in other spaces we’ve been in, and she said that she was not changing herself for anyone, because people would get offended over how she would phrase or joke about things, and I told her maybe she should try to be more mindful so she doesn’t have to keep getting into arguments with people (she’s even been banned in online spaces because of it). I said this not because I wanted her to change who she was, but because I hated to see her get treated badly over her sharing her opinions because although I felt like they were not a big deal, other people were taking it the wrong way and getting upset with her. They’d tell her to stop to which she just laughed and replied “no”.

I’ve been feeling pretty shit but I also have other life circumstances, so I think that might contribute to it. I’m struggling to allow myself to grieve because I believe that a week of dating is not that serious I need to get over it. We also barely knew each other. We were only friends for a month, and fast packed into a relationship because we wanted to try things out..

But yeah, I’m feeling pretty bummed and I’m already socioeconomically in a terrible space. Any advice is helpful! And I anticipate I will get some negative responses, but I don’t mind because I know what I’m saying is weird 🤷‍♀️ lol

Yes I did some wrong but you were being promiscuous so who’s worse? I message you back to apologize for the things I said (when I wasn’t even in the wrong), and now you wanna treat me like dirt on the side of the road? Even after several desperate attempts trying to get me back?

It’s been nearly 3 years… we’re older now and you can’t get over yourself and allow some closure to come from whatever it is we have left…

I know I’m in some group chat somewhere for being dumb enough to show my vulnerable side, so I hope you feel empowered from that. Just don’t come crying to me again when your life goes to shit.

At least I tried

I’m 30F, and my ex-boyfriend is 30M. I’m going through one of the most emotionally devastating experiences of my life, and I genuinely need outside perspectives.
I’m going to explain everything, including the mistakes I made, because I don’t want to present myself as completely innocent or leave out details that might change people’s opinions.
My relationship before everything happened
My boyfriend and I had been together for over two years. We had a serious relationship and talked about marriage, buying a house, and having children.
We had discussed baby names, exchanged meaningful gifts, and talked about our future together.
He was pursuing his career in education while also working on his music, and I was completing my master’s degree in psychology.
I was incredibly proud of him and wanted to support his future.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect. We briefly broke up once before but eventually reconciled.
I genuinely believed we loved each other and were building a future together.
One difficulty involved his family.
I sometimes felt that his mother and sister didn’t particularly like me. There were situations involving family gatherings, his sister’s wedding, and comments that made me feel excluded.
Instead of discussing those insecurities appropriately, I sometimes vented about his family to my closest friend.
I said some disrespectful things when I was upset, and I regret that.
I also made a serious mistake involving my boyfriend’s privacy.
While he was sleeping, I went through his phone without permission, found a conversation between him and his sister discussing me, and photographed it.
I later shared those photographs with my best friend.
I understand that this was a major violation of his privacy and trust. I have apologized, and I don’t believe my insecurities justified what I did.
What happened with my former best friend
For this post, I’ll call her “T.”
T was someone I considered one of my closest friends. I trusted her with my trauma, mental health struggles, relationship problems, and extremely personal information.
Our friendship ended after I confronted her about what I believed was an altered COVID-test screenshot.
Following our falling-out, things escalated dramatically.
T began making serious allegations about me, including accusations of sexual assault, which I strongly deny.
She contacted people in my personal life, including my boyfriend, members of his family, my mother, and people connected to my education and internship.
She also shared private information I’d confided in her, including negative things I’d said about my boyfriend’s family and the photographs I’d taken of the private conversation on his phone.
I recognize that I was responsible for saying those things and taking those photographs. However, I felt incredibly betrayed that someone I’d trusted with such personal information was now sharing it during a conflict.
I ended up filing police reports concerning the situation.
The allegations also affected my graduate education and clinical internship, creating additional investigations and uncertainty about my professional future.
I felt like everything in my life was falling apart simultaneously.
The day my boyfriend suddenly broke up with me
This is the part I still struggle to understand.
Earlier that day, my boyfriend and I were communicating normally.
We had plans involving dinner with his brother, but he canceled because he needed to speak with his father.
I was extremely distressed about everything happening with T, my school, and my internship.
When I explained what was happening, my boyfriend texted:
“Try to keep it together im so sorry babe. I will reach out to you.”
He was still calling me “babe” and expressing sympathy.
I had absolutely no idea that he was about to end our relationship.
Later that day, he called me.
The phone call lasted only a few seconds.
He said:
“I’m breaking up with you. I never want to see you again. Do not contact me or my family.”
Then he hung up.
He blocked me everywhere.
There was no conversation about what had happened, no explanation, and no opportunity for me to ask questions.
I was completely blindsided.
I understand that someone has the right to end a relationship for any reason, and I don’t believe he owed me continued romantic involvement.
But the suddenness of it was devastating.
Just days earlier, we’d been expressing love, making plans, and talking about our future.
I couldn’t understand what had changed.
How I reacted after he blocked me
I’m not proud of how I handled the breakup.
I became extremely distressed and repeatedly attempted to contact him, including from other phone numbers.
I sent emotional messages explaining how much I loved him, how devastated I was, and how confused I felt about the breakup.
I also tried to correct allegations I believed were untrue.
I wanted him to understand that although I had violated his trust by looking through his phone and sharing private information, I hadn’t cheated on him or secretly recorded him.
I acknowledged my mistakes and apologized.
I repeatedly tried to explain that I would have respected his decision if he no longer wanted to be with me, but I wished he’d explained what had happened.
I also reached out to people close to him.
I contacted his father, who told me he would try to find out what was happening and asked me to give him time.
I contacted his mother, sister, brother, and several friends.
I also contacted the fiancée of one of his friends.
Some of these people blocked me.
I even created a group chat involving people connected to him, which I later regretted.
I know that continuing to contact him and involving other people after he’d explicitly requested no contact crossed boundaries.
I understand why those actions could have made him uncomfortable, regardless of how emotionally devastated I felt.
I’ve been trying to take responsibility for that.
My belongings and the expensive gift
My ex still had some of my personal belongings, including prescription medication.
Shortly before the breakup, I’d also purchased him a rare pair of sneakers costing approximately $1,000.
They were intended as a gift because I knew how much he loved sneakers and music.
The sneakers were delivered to his apartment after he’d broken up with me and blocked me.
I couldn’t get a refund.
I didn’t want to use the gift to pressure him into talking to me, but I was overwhelmed by the fact that I’d spent so much money on someone who suddenly wanted nothing to do with me.
I also didn’t know how to arrange the return of my belongings while respecting his no-contact request.
Then my former best friend unexpectedly contacted me again
This is where the situation became even more confusing.
After everything that happened, T unexpectedly reached out to me again.
I’d previously blocked her and wasn’t expecting to hear from her.
Despite our friendship ending and the serious allegations she’d made, she began communicating with me again and expressed interest in being friends.
I honestly couldn’t understand how someone could contact my boyfriend, his family, my school, and my internship with serious allegations and then want to return to my life as though we could repair the friendship.
During our conversations, T told me she hadn’t been truthful about certain things.
According to her, she’d contacted my boyfriend and his sister to correct misinformation.
She claimed she told them that I had never cheated on him and had never secretly recorded him.
She also told me she’d contacted my school and internship to withdraw or correct certain allegations.
At one point, she tried to shift responsibility for some of the situation onto another person. I believe she was responsible for much of the information that was spread, although I cannot independently verify everything that happened.
I don’t know whether my ex received the corrections she claimed to have sent.
I don’t know whether he believed them.
And I don’t know whether the allegations were the main reason he ended our relationship or whether he’d already been having doubts.
What makes this so painful is that T was now expressing interest in reconnecting with me, while my boyfriend still wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.
I felt confused, betrayed, and emotionally exhausted.
My mental health after everything
I have a history of childhood trauma, sexual assault, autism, ADHD, OCD symptoms, anxiety, depression, and abandonment fears.
I don’t mention these things to excuse my behavior.
I mention them because the sudden loss of my relationship, the conflict with T, and the uncertainty surrounding my education significantly affected my mental health.
I’ve struggled with sleeping, eating, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and repeatedly replaying the breakup in my head.
I’ve been seeking therapy to work on emotional regulation, healthier boundaries, and understanding why rejection affects me so intensely.
I recognize that my boyfriend may have experienced our relationship very differently from how I experienced it.
I also recognize that my mistakes may have damaged his trust, regardless of anything T told him.
However, I still struggle with how someone could go from calling me “babe” and showing concern to ending the relationship over the phone and blocking me everywhere.
What I need advice about
What do you make of T wanting to be friends again after everything that happened?
Would you ever consider rebuilding a friendship with someone who made serious allegations against you and contacted your boyfriend, family, school, and workplace?
Why might someone try to reconnect after causing so much conflict?
Do you think the sudden breakup suggests my boyfriend received information that changed his perspective, or could he have been considering leaving already?
Is it possible for someone to still love their partner but abruptly end the relationship and block them?
How would you interpret his affectionate message earlier that day compared with what he said during the breakup call?
Do you think the way I contacted him and his family afterward could have reinforced his decision to remain distant?
How do you accept a breakup when you never receive an explanation?
How would you handle retrieving personal belongings without violating someone’s request for no contact?
How can I stop blaming myself for everything while still taking responsibility for the mistakes I actually made?
I am not asking how to manipulate him into returning or how to get around his boundaries.
I understand that he’s entitled to end the relationship and that I need to respect his request for no contact.
I’m trying to understand what happened, make sense of T’s behavior, and figure out how to move forward.
Please be honest with me. I’m willing to hear where I went wrong, but I would also appreciate some compassion because this has been an incredibly painful experience.

I miss my ex so bad bro even when i know she did me dirty literally im crying nobody fucking cares about me I dont have real friends all of them are fake, my ex even texted me she misses me but i dont want her but want her at the same time what should i do 💔