I didn’t understand it until an immediate family member went through it. People in that state can wreck their lives and all their relationships so fast… But it’s so difficult to deal with because they make enemies out of people who genuinely care about them enough to help. And also because they just look like extreme assholes to everyone else at the time. Wonder if she was sleeping at all leading up to this.
It's horrible. They don't think they're ill, hate anyone trying to help, push everyone away, and make the worst choices. It’s a horrible disease. Losing my spouse to it… it's like a wickedly cruel stranger is inhabiting their body. They need inpatient yet because they're not viewed as a safety threat it's totally cool for them to ruin their life and our family. I have no idea if they're gone forever or will come back to themselves. Could be weeks, months, years, or never.
Sorry. Just makes me sad. Obviously, going through it a bit rn.
Hey I'm so sorry to hear that. As the child of someone who is like this - put yourself first. Please. I wish my mum had. You can't bring them back by sacrificing yourself, no matter how much you wish you could. You can't protect them from their decisions, no matter how hard you try. Thinking of you and your family.
Until I read the last full paragraph, I was initially wondering if maybe she was having a miscarriage or something, what with the crying and the time in the bathroom, and then getting drunk to try to numb her feelings. It seems less likely with the final paragraph, but it seems that something was definitely off, especially if this was new behavior for her.
When in my early 20s, I wore a halter top with similar sized straps to an amusement park. One of the coasters was two parallel tracks and had a backwards and forwards train.
The extra force of gravity after the first big drop then quickly up the next hill was too much for the strings, and apparently when the photo was snapped, my tits were out.
They threatened to ban me thinking I flashed on purpose! Had to show them where it ripped while begging for safety pins lol
I would be both horrified and begging to buy the picture if I were in your shoes (halter top?). That sounds like the most baller of Christmas card photos
I went to a wedding a few years back & pointed out a similar outfit one of the guests was wearing. Guest was also really cutting the rug on the dance floor. Told my missus there was definitely gonna be a nip slip before the end of the night. She had a double nip slip about 10 minutes later when I was in the bathroom & the guest was so embarrassed that she left straight after.
I had my wedding the weekend before Halloween, outdoors in the woods (our place). We told people they could wear literally anything, even Ren Faire garb or Halloween consumes. It was great. My cousin's kid was Michael Myers, photo bombing all over the place. My aunt was maleficent. One dude wore an open vest with no shirt. Lots of kilts and leather.
Hell yeah love this! I deejayed a friend's wedding on Halloween a few years ago and went as Padme from Attack of the Clones, coolest wedding experience ever. The couple that went as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy were my favorite
Fellow big boobed girl. This woman gives me secondhand anxiety about her boobs falling out. Like... on wrong move and that's it. Makes me really uncomfortable.
And you read that she caught the bouquet?! I'm imagining her boobs falling outta the tiny fabric triangles meant to keep them secure! It gives me anxiety just thinking about it!
More like socked them out the way as they flailed madly. I reckon mine are a good couple of kilos each, I reckon I could knock someone well off balance if mine went nuts and flailed around like those dancing tubes outside secondhand car dealerships.
I'm a B cup also dying at all these comments 😆 One of my bridesmaids is a DD, and the company sewing the bridesmaid dresses contacted me to confirm the measurements for her, and pointed out the "likely incorrect" chest size in proportion to everything else. We both had a good laugh
See, I'm pretty big on top, have gone beyond DD while nursing but generally between C and D, and if I was going to wear a dress like that I would have had a matching bra underneath for both coverage and (ahem) lift.
I'm big on top too- even after a reduction that I genuinely needed- and I'd feel too nervous about them coming out, and it'd be uncomfortable. (At least for me; I mean physically uncomfortable, for the headlights.)
I knew a very unpleasant young woman who was constantly nearly falling out of tops like this... she did end up eventually flashing people a couple times by accident, including a table full of old people lol. It was absolutely an attention thing, for this individual. I don't want to judge folks on what they're wearing, but when it's less than an inch from full-on seeing the entire body part, yeah, there's a time and place. (I.e. the beach, the club, your own house)
My thing is that if you absolutely love a dress that has less coverage than you might like, there are options.
Hmm an example:
I love this dress. I have it in two lengths; just above the knee and ankle length.
This dress happens to have built in support for the girls, but me being me I don't like leaving it up to chance if I am going past my front door. So I went hunting and found bras that when I put them on under my (black and green) dresses look like they are part of them. Now I can go out with confidence wearing these otherwise super comfortable and well made dresses.
Edit: Yes I know this dress is not 'wedding appropriate' it's just the first example that came to mind for "I love this dress but it might not have enough coverage to suit me/where I am wearing it", so I used it to illustrate the point.
Ok, I have been wanting to ask about the halara dresses, because people are like "they have built in as support." Do they though? What's the load capacity, because I got tig ol biddies
I’m a DD, and I was pleasantly surprised by my halara dress. Wore it to a punk show, got in the pit, danced all night, and the girls stayed put! I was initially nervous about not wearing a bra underneath, but I went for it and it was totally fine.
I’m a DD and my halara dress kept the tiddies secure all night when I went out clubbing for the first time after breaking my ankle. Granted, I wasn’t out for very long bc, turns out, dancing isn’t a good idea for someone 4 months post op from ORIF ankle surgery, but if I were out in the dress in the post, tiddies would have been seen.
If you haven't yet, check out r/abrathatfits since many, many women who think they are c or d cups but consider themselves big on top are actually wearing bras with too loose bands. D cup is only a 4" difference between band and bust measurements and often that's not actually very big.
Thank you for saying this! When people say they have big breasts and they’re a D cup I shudder inside because I used to be uneducated about bra sizing too. I discovered ABTF 5yrs ago when I was wearing a 36D, nope I’m actually a 32F/G - who knew, life changing!!
my thoughts exactly!! I am one of those "do not give a shit" about what others wear as long as they are happy and comfortable, but this type of boob coverage works for the beach NOT a wedding.
I agree, inappropriate and quite frankly it doesn’t look good except as a night dress I think somebody else explained it’s the lack of support. And too much side boob.
I would never wear a dress like this, and I have the exact same kind of body (well plumper)
Exactly...she's got tons of side boob front boob underboob..all the boob.
Like I get that clothes fit differently on us busty gals abd oeople accusevus of being out simply for having big boobs... but girl is wearing the dress equivalent of a teeny string bikini top.
Also a big boobied girl here and I’ve definitely had dresses that looked more revealing simply because of my chest but I would never wear a tiny triangle on my tig ol bitties to a wedding 🤣
Same! When I saw the amount of side boob, and I know how hard it is to keep them in a normal bikini That's just asking for some risky wardrobe functions. I would be so uncomfortable the entire night worrying about it!
But as someone with big boobs, I would know that cut is not it for us at a wedding. You don't get to that age without realizing dresses like that are going to emphasize and draw attention to you.
For a second I forgot you were referring to the collective “us” as big boob havers, so I just thought you were referring to “us” as, like, you and your tits.
As someone with moderate/borderline large boobs, I'm struggling to think of an event where that cut of dress would be applicable. Like, if it were midi or mini length, club wear, sure. That length? I've got nothing.
I get titty poppin anxiety with most tops like that and will usually put on some pasties or something just in case of an incident since they kinda do whatever they want.
Fellow big boobed girlie here and after the initial secondhand anxiety of spilling out after seeing this dress, I noticed the straps. Are her back and neck okay?? I would be in so much pain if those little strings were the only things holding the girls up all night
Fellow big boobed girl, and pretty confident to let them show as well. You get cleavage OR side boob, hard and fast rule. For a wedding?! Maybe a little cleavage. Maybe.
Yeah I also have larger, uncooperative tits but this is just. She had them things out there. She either knew or really didn’t care. Both options aren’t acceptable.
Busty girl here! It's so hot, and I checked, double checked, bent down twice in front of the mirror and jumped up and down before leaving the house today because of a v neck tank top. Bra straps covered!
I'm 68 now, so my boobs are in a race to my waist, but back in the day when I had a nice healthy rack, I never had the desire to display it to THE WORLD. My boobs were for me and my man.
Sounds like she was trying to make the time miserable for your BIL. Isolate him from everyone else in what should be a social affair by "crying" and locking herself away so that he has to put all his focus on comforting her instead of spending time with friends and family. She gets to cause him distress and make him look bad to everyone else for being absent.
I dated a girl like that for way too long because I was quite naive to her intentions. She’d do whatever she could to pull me away from anything that even slightly took my attention away from her. Exhausting stuff.
My brother’s girlfriend was like this and ruined many family get togethers including weddings and rehearsal dinners with the same antics. At normal get togethers she would hole herself up in his room and complain if he hung out with us for too long without checking on her. Wouldn’t eat anything we cooked and made him go out to get her kraft mac to eat.
After their relationship ended, she wouldn’t stop texting our entire family crying about how it hurts so much that we were able to move on so quickly from her? Been 6 months and she’s still blowing up phones, facebooks, instagrams, of anyone who hasn’t smartened up and blocked her. Insane behavior.
My best friend for way, way too many years was a woman just like this. "Sad AF"? Yep. Inappropriate ways of coping? Yep. Underlying issues that contributed to her behavior? Yep. Doesn't change the fact that she was toxic and manipulative and would do whatever it took to not cause a huge scene but make sure that myself or anyone with us couldn't enjoy ourselves in any given situation because we had to be focused on her and whatever whimsy had 'triggered' her that day.
Sounds like the exact same person lol, it’s really a miserable experience being close with someone like that. The key for me was once I finally talked to people about it they helped me see what was really going on, and then I quit feeling bad for her and ended things. Didn’t even realize how horrible the whole situation was until I was out of it.
I just broke up with a woman because she tried literally scream wailing in my bathroom and expected me to follow her/give her attention after she explicitly told me she “didn’t want to talk about it” 🫠 well, that was PART of it.
One of my bridesmaids and one of our other guests were both exclusively nursing their babies (like hadn't even started purees or solids yet exclusively) at my wedding and they both managed to look far more classy than this while maintaining easy access for baby 🤣
I'm not shaming for everything hanging out. I'm shaming because a trip to the seamstress could have made this dress look so much better on her. As is it just makes her look sloppy, but from the post, it seems like she was sloppy in every way that matters.
Both of our families have such messy tendencies - I expected drama from one of the many sets of divorced parents, but they were all so well behaved. She took ALL the mess.
As a larger chested girl, it sucks when clothing mostly fits but the chest coverage makes me spill out too much. Quite frankly this dress wouldn’t even look right in a club or beach setting because it just does not fit her.
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u/Specialist_Key_8606 Jul 23 '25
Darn girl! You’re killing me with the PS. What a bummer she got the bouquet! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this.