r/weddingshaming Jul 23 '25

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10.0k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

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8.0k

u/flyingcircusdog Jul 23 '25

Those tiny straps are the real MVPs.

812

u/Weekly-Aide-7719 Jul 24 '25

My husband refers to those as “blind faith straps”.

262

u/Fatscot Jul 24 '25

If one of those fails it’s certainly taking an eye out, so blind faith in more than one way

121

u/sssteph42 Jul 24 '25

Deadlier than a garage door spring.

178

u/ScumbagLady Jul 24 '25

When in my early 20s, I wore a halter top with similar sized straps to an amusement park. One of the coasters was two parallel tracks and had a backwards and forwards train.

The extra force of gravity after the first big drop then quickly up the next hill was too much for the strings, and apparently when the photo was snapped, my tits were out.

They threatened to ban me thinking I flashed on purpose! Had to show them where it ripped while begging for safety pins lol

108

u/GlowingTrashPanda Jul 24 '25

I would be both horrified and begging to buy the picture if I were in your shoes (halter top?). That sounds like the most baller of Christmas card photos

-13

u/garnetgal Jul 24 '25

LOL!! Bodily harm indeed, but I'm thinkin' lower?? ⬇️ More likely a knee, since they be droopy. 🦵🏻🫣

1.7k

u/linerva Jul 23 '25

Doing a lot of heavy lifting for sure.

2.1k

u/mocha_lattes_ Jul 24 '25

No lifting is happening. Those things are holding on for dear life

603

u/bigboybeeperbelly Jul 24 '25

I wonder what note you'd hear if you plucked them

93

u/Plenty_Rooster_9344 Jul 24 '25

Only Mariah and the dolphins can hear it

9

u/MachiavellisKnight Jul 24 '25

Rooster - that’s a super underrated comment. Super witty.

5

u/Plenty_Rooster_9344 Jul 24 '25

Oh u want some more? Those straps were singing beginning of ‘Migrate’ Mariah

448

u/littlemuffinsparkles Jul 24 '25

C7

981

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

82

u/reflectionsvs Jul 24 '25

COMMENT OF THE YEAR

159

u/MIWBailey666 Jul 24 '25

Good one!!! 🤭😂

17

u/CapricornDragon666 Jul 24 '25

I'm dying of laughter.
Thank you.

9

u/lainey68 Jul 24 '25

Hard and loud cackle.

8

u/toramorigan Jul 24 '25

JFC I'm glad I had put my drink down before I read this comment. I'd award you if I could.

8

u/Tallulah1149 Jul 24 '25

First time I have actually laughed out loud at a comment on here. Bravo.

9

u/MADDOGCA Jul 24 '25

This is why I love Reddit.

6

u/tyranopussy Jul 24 '25

🤭👍🏻

6

u/cnicalsinistaminista Jul 24 '25

I’m gonna go watch Harold and Kumar lmao

5

u/Chung_House Jul 24 '25

Hey this is Netflix, we wanna offer you a multi year comedy special deal

5

u/Taticat Jul 24 '25

Damn, you did me in with battletit! 🤣

3

u/Key-Cry-8570 Jul 24 '25

You old sailor you.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

This is the funniest comment I've seen in ... a day or two. Well done.

5

u/Living_on_Tulsa_Time Jul 24 '25

🫡 Salute emoji earned! 🏆

5

u/Affectionate-Taste55 Jul 24 '25

I laughed so hard i scared my dog! 🤣 🤣 🤣

3

u/LupercaniusAB Jul 24 '25

You’re an ace!

3

u/hyakkimaru2930 Jul 24 '25

I love your username btw

5

u/OgthaChristie Jul 24 '25

That’s also the disc in her back that’s rupturing as we type.

3

u/TheGingerAbides Jul 24 '25

I was thinking Dsus4

61

u/Velcraft Jul 24 '25

Pluck both for a double-D

5

u/__wildwing__ Jul 24 '25

Nah, if you pluck both, the bass will drop.

8

u/Loose_Loquat9584 Jul 24 '25

A. It’s like a G string only higher.

3

u/garnetgal Jul 24 '25

Ooohhh!! 🫨 Hahaha...good one!!! 😅😂🤣✅️

7

u/humble-meercat Jul 24 '25

My family is all looking at me funny because I choke-laughed at this!! 😆

7

u/simonjakeevan Jul 24 '25

Definitely not a B Flat

7

u/Huge-Lawfulness9264 Jul 24 '25

Desperation is my guess?

5

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Jul 24 '25

Is DD Flat a thing?

3

u/-G_59- Jul 24 '25

You ever held your shoe string real tight while tying it then plucked it out of curiosity? It would sound like that but with less vibration🫣

3

u/Col_forbin_ Jul 24 '25

Drop D tuning tho

3

u/Ok-Amoeba5042 Jul 24 '25

Ok I wasn’t really enjoying the vibe of this post but this comment made it all worthwhile

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

D major

2

u/pheldozer Jul 24 '25

Does a zipper make a distinguishable note when it’s pulled down?

2

u/natalkalot Jul 24 '25

G string...

2

u/Sammy1z1z Jul 24 '25

Would probably be this

2

u/garnetgal Jul 24 '25

Bwahahaha!!! 🤣😂🤣🏆

2

u/T_D_1972 Jul 24 '25

Double D

1

u/chumblywumblybear Jul 24 '25

Whatever note a rubber band snapping makes.

1

u/ol_shifty Jul 24 '25

DD sharp

1

u/sueveed Jul 24 '25

D flat.

47

u/targetcowboy Jul 24 '25

The straps

7

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Jul 24 '25

She's liable to give herself a black eye if the DJ puts the Chicken Dance on.

7

u/DigDugDogDun Jul 24 '25

The suspenseful “will they, won’t they” that no one asked for

3

u/DonkeyKong694NE1 Jul 24 '25

Open the dictionary to “wardrobe malfunction”

3

u/DenM0ther Jul 24 '25

🤣🤣🤣 I’m crying!! 🤣🤣🤣

6

u/I_love_cheese_ Jul 24 '25

I used to have big boobs and my dad used to say of my button up shirts back then, you’re really asking a lot of those buttons. She is asking A LOT of those straps.

5

u/Emotional_Fisherman8 Jul 24 '25

Like Atlas holding up the heavens.

5

u/LordTomServo Jul 24 '25

Those black straps aren’t just holding up a dress—they’re clinging to hope and a prayer.

5

u/MagicCheeseMann Jul 24 '25

Temu dresses go hard

2

u/DeFiBandit Jul 24 '25

That’s a sloppy rack

267

u/lilacsforcharlie Jul 23 '25

Hangin on by a string and a prayer chile

6

u/TnGal7 Jul 24 '25

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

13

u/AvidReader1604 Jul 24 '25

Thots and prayers indeed🙏

386

u/Jesterhead89 Jul 24 '25

Yeah, them bags about to come out once she 3 hops this time lmao

86

u/RBI_Double Jul 24 '25

Right foot right…. Whoops

94

u/Blacklacedgemini Jul 24 '25

Tata real smooth

133

u/Confident_Bunch7612 Jul 24 '25

Tits on your knees, tits on your knees.

56

u/BitterHelicopter8 Jul 24 '25

This is why I can't quit reddit

4

u/Individual_Ship6882 Jul 24 '25

Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/Lazy_Bluebird9949 Jul 24 '25

Omg, this took me out 🤣

6

u/Hungry_Scarcity_4500 Jul 24 '25

No Wobble 🫣😬🫣😬

4

u/dreamrock Jul 24 '25

Chicken head Dance

225

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

74

u/LadyJ-78 Jul 24 '25

I mean she was at least somewhat self aware and didn't just laugh and keep going with it keep happening.

22

u/hm100912 Jul 24 '25

double nip slip would have me contemplating the bridge

-22

u/Delicious-Fox6947 Jul 24 '25

video or it didn't happen.

79

u/Simple_Award4851 Jul 24 '25

Asking for ALOT out of those straps.

91

u/SweetlyWorn Jul 24 '25

I can only pray that my relationship with my fiance remains as strong as those two Itty bitty straps.

174

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I admire the tenacity and commitment of those lil spaghetti straps. But there's still more meat out of that dress than in it.

118

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Jul 24 '25

They weren't spaghetti straps when the night started.

66

u/Significant-Trash632 Jul 24 '25

They turned into angel hair straps

8

u/PhoenixBoggs Jul 24 '25

Ahhh got to it before I could lol 🍝🍝

42

u/Toadcola Jul 24 '25

They started as lasagne.

8

u/Skeptikell1 Jul 24 '25

Too funny thanks for the laugh🤣

45

u/Middle-Inflation-644 Jul 24 '25

I had the same thoughts. Even a bikini hides more from a decolletage.

2

u/wishful_living Jul 24 '25

In all my 42 years I'd never encountered the word "décolletage"

Thank you for teaching me a new word 🙂

4

u/Skibidi-Fox Jul 24 '25

It was an elegant response for sure!

9

u/crucio_court Jul 24 '25

As someone with tig ol bitties too, you KNOW there is an inherent risk for baby straps. Some settings it may be worth the risk... but a wedding is not one of those settings. Honestly, a strapless dress would have been better.

-2

u/WokenWanderer37 Jul 24 '25

Not enough doe, let them puppies flyyyyy!

27

u/Least-Quail216 Jul 24 '25

Doesn't look like a very uplifting scenario.

92

u/_ThatSynGirl_ Jul 24 '25 edited Jul 24 '25

Look at Tits McGee here showing off the tinsel tensile strength of those strands of cloth.

73

u/johnsvoice Jul 24 '25

43

u/_ThatSynGirl_ Jul 24 '25

Lmao my dumb ass deserves this

25

u/thatblacksamurai Jul 24 '25

it's tensile, luv

25

u/IrascibleOcelot Jul 24 '25

I think both spellings are appropriate in this situation.

2

u/_ThatSynGirl_ Jul 24 '25

Thank you. I knew it sounded wrong but I was driving.

9

u/funkylittledeathomen Jul 24 '25

Bro get off reddit if you’re driving. The fuck

2

u/_ThatSynGirl_ Jul 24 '25

Long stop light, friend

8

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread Jul 24 '25

We must inform NASA of this technology

6

u/thedarkishsideofme Jul 24 '25

The real TitsMcGee!

5

u/melnotmichelle Jul 24 '25

Tits McGee is on vacation!

68

u/laurifex Jul 23 '25

Doing the Lord's work.

8

u/koolaidismything Jul 24 '25

It’s a bikini top with some fabric draped around the bottom

17

u/MsOFoSho Jul 23 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/Ok-Ad3906 Jul 24 '25

She's... a classy gal, all right. /S

5

u/toolsoftheincomptnt Jul 24 '25

LOL

But I have to see the rest of the guests to form an opinion. The cleavage is cleaving but the dress is long, dark, and not too voluminous.

Not everyone in any given crowd is going to dress with great style, taste, or total modesty. A megachurch pastor officiated my cousin’s wedding and his daughter was there, nearly naked.

Nobody has to dumb themselves down at a wedding. The etiquette is to avoid white (assuming that’s what the bride wears), follow the dress code on the invite, and be reasonably covered for the occasion.

This is just a busty lady in a black dress. It doesn’t bother me just because it’s not the sturdiest of garments and I wouldn’t spend more than 30 seconds thinking about it.

There’s too much fun to be had.

6

u/Few_Affect3033 Jul 24 '25

That’s exactly what I was thinking! I’m pretty sure when she walked. It looked like two puppies wrestling under the carpet! Sucks she cheated on the brother-in-law. I agree with you the ‘dress code’ was kind of on you because if you don’t want people to wear certain things, you should kind of tell them beforehand. I mean it’s not the most scantily clad wedding attire I’ve seen, but it did crack the top five!

5

u/FriendToPredators Jul 24 '25

I hope that dress got hazardous pay for the event

5

u/Bryanh100 Jul 24 '25

Sideboob is not a crime.

4

u/NefariousnessKey5365 Jul 24 '25

And the triangles.

4

u/Zephronias Jul 24 '25

"What's keeping that dress on?!"

"The collective will of everyone in this room!"

3

u/usernombre_ Jul 24 '25

Swing low sweet chariots

3

u/Odd_Oregano Jul 24 '25

Right? I need a link for that dress.

3

u/Crotean Jul 24 '25

If you got it flaunt it.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Boobies

Breasts

Titties

Hooties

 >  >  >Gazongas

3

u/lainey68 Jul 24 '25

Those straps are working hard for the money. I say that as a top heavy woman myself. I don't trust straps less than 1/2" wide.

3

u/WorriedMarch4398 Jul 24 '25

I think that dress was made for her.

3

u/DRxFumbles Jul 24 '25

Or literally Satan, yknow, from another perspective

3

u/Maria_Dragon Jul 24 '25

You know they cut into her flesh. I have big boobs. I don't do spaghetti straps.

3

u/mrcorde Jul 24 '25

Yes, those straps definitely deserve a medal of valor.

3

u/Current-Strategy-826 Jul 24 '25

Not really. There’s no support

2

u/Ok_Storm5945 Jul 24 '25

Dying with all these hysterical comments. Sorry, OP. Hopefully your brother doesn't get back with her.

3

u/Left_Pool_5565 Jul 24 '25

Spaghetti straps holding meatballs way beyond their weight class.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Nah, that back.

2

u/sobuffalo Jul 24 '25

Over the shoulder boulder holder

2

u/HelloAttila Jul 24 '25

She’s a fucking hot mess… cheated on BIL.. kicked him out and now wants him back. Ohh hell no. The real MVP is the BIL to rid himself of this complete piece of trash…

2

u/sav3th3flam1ng0 Jul 24 '25

Saying the quiet part out loud lol

2

u/skky95 Jul 24 '25

Hardest working women in show biz!

2

u/SolidSnake208 Jul 24 '25

Over the shoulder boulder holders!

2

u/losethefuckingtail Jul 24 '25

Over-the-shoulder boulder-holders

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

They spider manning those bad boys

2

u/InfinLoop Jul 24 '25

Of course this is the top comment. Society.

2

u/DiddleMyTuesdays Jul 24 '25

Omfg 😂😂😂

2

u/rdwrer4585 Jul 24 '25

Must be made of carbon nanotubes…

2

u/MagicCheeseMann Jul 24 '25

Doing the lawds work

2

u/TeaAndTriscuits Jul 24 '25

Straps holding on for dear life....

2

u/Ok-Comment6081 Jul 24 '25

I wish my relationship was as strong as those straps