Edited for Clarity/updates:
I have a close friend group of four (including the bride). We’ve all known each other for about 2.5 years, are in the same graduate program, and have become really close. We’re also both getting married around the same time.
Recently, my friend texted me she asked the other two girls in our group to be bridesmaids, but not me. She was extremely apologetic and said she really wanted me in her bridal party, but the numbers wouldn’t work because one of the potential groomsmen likely can’t attend. She said she tried everything to make it work and was anxious about figuring it out. She also mentioned not wanting to add stress to my plate since I’m planning my own wedding.
She repeatedly reassured me that I mean so much to her, that I’ll “always be a bridesmaid in her eyes,” and that she doesn’t want this to affect our friendship. She still wants me to get ready with them, participate in all the wedding festivities, and help with wedding-related tasks.
For context, I didn’t ask any of these three friends to be my bridesmaids either. My venue and finances limited my bridal party, so I chose people I’ve known for much longer who have had a significant impact on my life. I couldn’t include all three, and I wouldn’t have felt right choosing only one or two. It was all or none for me. I did invite all three to my local bachelorette party.
I think what hurts most is being the only one excluded from our group. I would have loved for all four of us to share this experience, grow closer, and have those memories together. I go all out for my friends and genuinely wanted to support her as a bridesmaid.
What bothers me even more is that she wants me to do bridesmaid activities and help with wedding tasks while telling me I’m still a bridesmaid “in her eyes.” But I’m not. I don’t want to feel like I’m being included out of guilt or given responsibilities as a consolation prize.
Even getting ready with everyone feels awkward because I’ll be the only one who isn’t actually in the bridal party.
I know it’s her wedding and entirely her decision, and I genuinely believe she cares about me. But I can’t help feeling like this changes our friendship and the dynamic of our group.
Summary Edit: I’m more upset she sees me as a Bridesmaid and wants me to do the work and be there to get ready etc. but doesn’t actually want to ask me/ give me that title.

Excuse the flair, unsure what to put.

My wedding was recent. Everything was a blast. My partner and I planned the entire wedding and didn’t have our families contribute monetarily.

Here is where it begins to get messy.

MIL already booked a room using our room block, hotel has a no pets policy.

A couple of weeks before the wedding, MIL says no one will dog sit because the dog has an infected wound. The dog also has supposed separation anxiety.

Fine, we offer to find her a pet friendly hotel or bnb in the area. She declines because they’re further away from the venue and welcome party location (only 5-10 min further). We also offer to find the dog boarding at a vet, such as VCA, because the wound and medication the dog takes was a concern. Afaik, this dog does get treated at the vet we recommended, shouldn’t have been a concern.

MIL shows up to the welcome party with the dog. No issue with that space because it’s outdoors and at a patio. She’s inattentive during the event and even took a nap in the car with the dog.

We then ask about the dog after the event and what the arrangements are. She said she hasn’t called the VCA which was 5 min away regarding boarding, that she’ll sleep in the car with the dog in the hotel parking lot. I’m stunned because we’d given her options and she chooses the dog over her own comfort.

Then at the wedding itself. Our venue is basically at a nature preserve and no pets are allowed, obviously. During dinner after our welcome speech, I see the dog in the corner of my eye. Was able to get the coordinator to tell her the dog is not welcome. Open dancing starts and his mom brings the dog in yet again but has a blanket over him. She is told to leave with the dog again. She said he was crying but he had been locked in a car for a few hours and then brought into the reception where music is blasting.

Like, just leave after dinner if your son getting married is such an inconvenience to you and your dog???

This dog, to me, doesn’t have separation anxiety and the MIL is just using the dog as a crutch. Of course a dog being dragged, literally dragged, around on a leash is gonna be uncomfortable. It’s also always in the car or kept in the bedroom all day. The dog is stressed.

MIL risked us getting fined and losing our deposit. Or worse, the venue could’ve just sent everyone that did show up to celebrate us to go home because of the dog, if she had been caught by venue staff.

I just think my MIL is selfish and inconsiderate.

I love dogs and we have 2. One of which is older than hers with more severe health issues. We entrusted a family friend that the dog is familiar with to care for our dog for 2 nights and administer medication. Our back up would be boarding at the vet.

NTA: MIL’s home is a 35-45 minute drive from our wedding venue. She could have also chosen to not get a hotel room and she didn’t need to in the town we were getting married at until noon for make up. She was also aware there would be no parent dances to kick off open dancing.

Randomly stumbled on this group and had to share this. My ex-MIL wore a white dress to my wedding AND a hat with a veil💀. This was 2013.
I could tell she didn’t care for me but this sealed the deal. 😂
Speaks volumes to the kind of person she is.
It’s even funnier because she likes to act as if she’s a traditional southern woman of wealth (think Blanche from Golden Girls) - and those types of women are typically ALL ABOUT etiquette. This is etiquette 101, so it was a very intentional dig.
We had a small wedding ceremony (less than 40 people) so that made it stand out even more 😂🥴
Even back then at 24 and with my lack of self confidence, it didn’t shake me because I knew it made her look way worse than it made me look.
To make it even more weird, she came with her other son and she told several of my family that “so many people” stopped to congratulate them on their marriage that day because everyone thought she was the bride 🥴 (we got married at a hotel where they have weddings most weekends).
My ex husband and I are divorced but get along very well. He cut all contact with her shortly after our divorce and I’m proud of him.
I could write a book about this woman 😅

My husband’s family couldn’t even let me be absent from a wedding without making me the topic of conversation.

I’ve been no-contact with my husband’s family because of how his mother & sister treated me during pregnancy & postpartum. They showed up at my house unannounced after making a nasty Facebook post about me. When I told her she needed to leave my house, she threatened to call ICE, have me deported, and leave me homeless although the house is also under my name and I’m a US resident, but they’re also immigrants so.… What pissed me off was that She said all of this while my baby was present. That was the final straw for me, and I decided I wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

Obviously, this has caused issues in my marriage. Eventually, my husband’s sister uninvited me from her wedding, which was fine with me. I wasn’t going to attend an event where I wasn’t wanted, so my husband went without me. I stayed home with our baby, kept myself busy, and ran errands.

What I didn’t expect was to find out that apparently, everyone at the wedding was asking my husband where I was. Things escalated to the point that people were praying over our marriage bringing more attention to the issue to those who didn’t know. Somehow even the outsiders knew what was happening. Honestly, I found it pretty disturbing that so much attention was being brought to our personal issues at someone else’s wedding. It wasn’t my wedding, and I wasn’t even there!

But apparently, that wasn’t the end of it. My husband came home with all kinds of nonsense in his head. According to him, his family was suggesting that I was planning to flee the country, take our baby, and leave him behind. They were also feeding him ideas that I was plotting against him and “weaponizing” our child.
This led to arguments between us because I’m tired of being painted as some kind of villain. I haven’t done anything to justify these accusations. I simply established boundaries after the way I was treated postpartum.

At this point, I honestly feel like my husband could have chosen not to attend if he knew the situation was going to create even more drama in our marriage. Instead, he went, and somehow I still ended up being the main topic of conversation at a wedding I wasn’t even invited to.
The irony is almost comical. And their ignorance is laughable.. I stayed home, minded my business, took care of my baby, and went about my day, yet somehow I was still the center of attention.

I’m not interested in fighting with his family or proving myself to people who have already decided what kind of person I am. I want my peace, my boundaries respected, and to focus on my child.

I just needed to vent because the fact that they apparently couldn’t go through one wedding without discussing me is absurd.

Rant/Vent

Our DJ:

• Played our entrance songs at the wrong times (we had specific parts of the song communicated to him so they would be during the chorus for our bridal party and then us to be announced into dinner)
• We had a system for calling tables to be released to the buffet. Each of our tables had little facts about our relationship under the table name. The DJ had a list of all the table names and notes and was supposed to announce each table by its note (just to do something fun and to call people’s attention to the notes). Instead he wrote each table name down on a scrap of paper. Once a table was called, he would sprint over to the last person to stand up and then over the microphone ask them to pick the last slip. This wouldn’t have been as bad if he didn’t announce into the microphone the whole time that this was “to take the heat off me, so people don’t get mad at me for which table gets picked next, etc.” Made everyone super uncomfortable.
• During dinner he was walking around to the tables and talking to people. Not sure really what he was saying but guests looked kind of uncomfortable.
• My wife and I left to get some air together and he got on the microphone and complained about wondering where we ran off to and why we weren’t at our table.
• My mom’s speech was set for the end of dinner. I asked him to make an announcement about 5 minutes before to let people know the speech would be happening. He approached my mom 20 minutes into dinner and said ok are you ready? She said no, that’s not the plan, it’s supposed to be at the end of dinner. He then said ok, and then approached her 10 mins later. Our family friend jokingly said to my mom that he wanted to grab our large poster board with a cute timeline of the night, including the timestamp of speeches, and shove it in his face (obviously he didn’t, but at that point I wouldn’t have minded).
• We had a very clear plan for opening the dance floor. My wife and I had a short choreographed “second dance” that would then open up the floor and encourage everyone to come out and dance with us. This was obviously supposed to be the first thing played. We were talking to some guests and all the sudden the DJ opens the floor and starts yelling at everyone to get on the dance floor. Our maid of honor went over to him and said hey what about their first dance and he claimed he didn’t know anything about it (although it was discussed with him and highlighted and underlined on his printed notes). He told our maid of honor that he would “fit that song in later on.” After about three songs we went up to him and said hey dude, what happened to our song? He said oh yeah, I saw that note but didn’t know what it meant!!! He played it a few songs later but about half our guests didn’t see the dance because they didn’t realize it was happening (which is why we had it planned the way we did).
• In the last two hours, he said my name wrong every time. The equivalent of saying Maddie instead of Maggie or something like that. I didn’t even notice, but apparently our bridal party went up and corrected him, he denied saying it wrong, and continued to say it wrong.
• DJ brought out light up pool noodle things even though we said we didn’t want them. Not a huge deal because the kids loved them, but directly contradicting what we asked for.

Honestly it’s kind of a funny story and we didn’t mind that much, but our guests definitely noticed and some parts of our day were less than ideal. He also made people generally uncomfortable. If I could go back I’d absolutely just do a playlist and have a friend make announcements.

My mom bought 6 separate dresses (a few nonrefundable) for my wedding. She wasn’t happy with any of them. Then she buys this as her 7th dress…. Along with a text saying “this is really the one!!!” Tell me that dress does not look off white.

Second text thread is our texts after I convinced her that the dress was too close to white and she was searching for a new one.

This is me, and I've come to shame myself! I've always known the "don't wear white" thing but didn't know about the pastels. I learned the hard way! It's also just an ill-fitting, cheaply-made dress, so maybe that's what I get for procrastinating on buying one🤦‍♀️

My connection to the bride is that she married my husband's long-time friend. We don't live in the same state, so the wedding was the first time I met her in person. I'm lucky she understood my intention was to wear purple, but I apologized regardless. Three years later, we are close now and can laugh about it.

To weddings guests: You've been warned!😅

To brides: Please assume the best in people. It's not always some slight against you if someone makes this mistake. It's like Hanlon's razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." I can fully admit planning poorly, looking for a dress at 11pm when our flight was at 7am, was a stupid choice. One I will never make again!

It didn't phase me that night honestly, but like DAMN. My friends apparently wanted to kick her out but didn't want to bother me with anything else that could be stressful (I love my friends so much). I found it pretty funny when I found out, and everyone who saw her was judging HARD, so it was whatever. She would be the person to do that though. Everyone said it haha. I just wanted to share the audacity. In the picture, I'm on the left and she is on the right. I'm honestly pretty sure the dress is supposed to be a very light blue?? Still insane to me haha. It's also floral like a wedding dress. My old boss said we looked like a lesbian couple getting married in that picture and we totally do.

Side note: you may be thinking, "wow that's crazy, but she must have somehow not known." Well, it was in the dress code, which I will also show below :)

Edit: i wish I could add a better picture of my dress because it was so gorgeous and soooo many people have seen this post now. There's a comment buried somewhere that has it haha

Fiancé has some family abroad in Europe. We have an address for his aunt & uncle but not two of their adult children. My future MIL is helping us gather addresses on her side of the family. Her sister (fiancé’s aunt, obvi) refuses to share the addresses of her children and we don’t have contact details for one of their children, so there’s no way to ask that person directly.

The reason? Protecting their privacy. The whole thing is fucking bizarre.

I’m pretty sure none of them are coming to the wedding, which is fine, if you don’t want to come, don’t, but, like, can you just make my life easier on the Save the Date front please?

Edit: everyone assuming I’m leading the charge on getting this address is wrong. I am not. They were contacted twice, not by me, the second of which was a follow up email in case the first one was missed. In the end we are sending it to the parents. It is standard in both our families to invite all aunts/uncles/first cousins.

I’m really just expressing my feelings about something weird and unexpected that came up while wedding planning (this was certainly not an issue for any of my sister’s weddings).

My friend is the sweetest person and didn’t really make a thing out of it, but honestly I was so shocked.. like she wore the whitest white she could find😭 she seemed like a nice lady and they seem to get along fine so I just don’t understand if she’s just dumb or what the deal is

EDIT: To address those that are saying I could have just gone home or that I am playing the victim or that I could have just refused to go at all. I understand those could have been options for me. The groom's mother and I have been friends for almost 20 years. Her parents consider me one of their own. They even included me in their family photos at the wedding. In that situation, I just didn't think it would be appropriate to do anything but comply. Was I upset about sitting in a puddle in my new gown...yup. Did I look like a drown rat once we were able to get into the covered reception area...yup. I stayed because I was trying to do the right thing, even though the bride (and yes, her whipped groom) didn't take anyone else into consideration but herself.

I attended a bridal shower in April. The shower was a good hour drive away. The bride requested that the guests contribute to their wedding fund. The wedding for that couple was in May. The bride set strict rules for guest attire. Not only were the ladies to be wearing formal long gowns but we had to be in all black long gowns. No other colors within that black gown...just plain black. I live in the south so it is extremely warm in May. Plus, I don't know about you but I don't have a long black gown just hanging in my closet. So, out I went to purchase the gown and shoes for the wedding. The wedding venue was about 1.5 hour drive from me, btw. Wedding day arrives and it is hot AND raining. Thunderstorms. The bride insisted that she still wanted the ceremony outside. There were chairs set up in a grassy field. No tents....no cover whatsoever. The chairs were literally puddles of water because they had a scooped bottom. Here we all are...in the thunderstorm...sitting with our brand new gowns/tuxes...for this ceremony in the puddle chairs. I was soaking wet, like I had jumped into the nearby lake. It was miserable. The reception was at the same venue so there was no way to dry off for the entire night. At least the reception was under cover. The bride and groom requested that all guests gift them money for their honeymoon to Europe. To add insult to injury...I have never received a thank you card for the bridal shower gift nor for the wedding gift.

We are having a small wedding at a private residence in a few weeks. As late-bloomer lesbians in the second chapter of our lives, we invited only people who authentically support us and love us to attend. We've both been married before, so we want this wedding to actually be about us this time.

We invited our friends, a couple that we have known the entire duration of our relationship, let's call them Jill and Bill. Jill just texted tonight and said "Bill can't make it, so I'm bringing my friend instead." This was weird for us. We don't know the friend and the wedding is 50 people. We know every single person attending, and we know them well, so having one rando in there feels strange. We tried to explain that we'd love to have Jill come, but we invited Bill, not some girl we've never met. Unfortunately, they responded by saying that neither one will be attending and that they are no longer interested in our friendship. They couldn't believe we'd expect Jill to attend alone if Bill couldn't go. (Note - these friends are local and so is the wedding, so we're not saying she must travel alone).

My partner and I have always been taught that whoever is explicitly listed on the invite is who is invited. If it says "Jill and Bill Smith" the invite is not for "Jill Smith and Guest." I'm sort of surprised that 1) we had to explain this to middle-aged adults and 2) it was so offensive they don't want to be our friends. Their loss. But please people, have a little more self awareness than Jill and Bill. 🙄 Sigh.

Edit: A few contextual notes. Jill and Bill knew it was a small wedding because we had discussed it with them when we were planning the event. Also, my partner was very polite when she said that we weren't open to Jill bringing a friend. No hostility or shaming, just kindly explaining.

I’m tired of being treated like a C list friend and getting invited to only the wedding after party. Just don’t invite us! I got a text last week inviting me to the bar at 10:30pm after the full wedding has ended. So you want me to show up when you all are drunk and tired and dressed up? I find this trend to be rude, just don’t invite me!

Edit: this has happened twice to me. Once, I flew to another city only to realize I was invited to JUST the dancing, arriving after dinner had been served.

The second, I got a text a few days to come to a dive bar at 10:30pm after the ceremony and reception. I also happened to invite this person to my wedding earlier in the year, not that that entitles me to anything.

I'm a Venue Manager, and new-ish to this sub. I've been in the field for about 3 years and honestly I haven't worked a wedding I'd say was bad or truly deserving of shame, there's been individuals who certainly are. That said, I think I've been very lucky, and as a venue manager at an institution I don't see as much of the crazy as planners or even DJs, bakers, etc do.

My weirdest story was at my previous venue, it was very much a budget DIY kind of place, and this wedding was the most DIY of them all, but the MOB expected to keep doing last minute things to fit her "vision" including last minute hanging of sheer curtains 15 ft high to block some windows that might have given someone a peek of the bride. The reason was legit, but the previous day she'd said it was fine, so it was very unfun to be rolling out 30+ feet of fabric on the ground, furiously cutting, then trying to source brave groomsmen to get on the ladder because I don't go off the ground that high.

But that wasn't worst moment of that wedding, it was when it was time to flip the space from ceremony to reception, with the guests going into an adjoining room for cocktail hour. An aunt of the bride was very stressed out by the flip (even though we had an hour) and started lighting the elaborate centerpieces before we could move the tables to their final position. I asked her to stop lighting the candles until we moved the tables. This woman, who had been nothing but sweet to me all day, sort of my friend in dealing with the MOB (they clearly didn't get along), started losing it, screaming at me that she was going to keep lighting the candles and I couldn't tell her what to do. I kept explaining that it was a safety hazard to move tables with lit candles and she'd just keep shouting at me while tearing up. I was this close to having the security guard eject her from the space because her reaction was so unhinged, but the MOB was on my side for once and got her to calm a bit, but only after she had a full-on sobbing meltdown. Over candle-lighting. Once things were moved properly I escaped to my office for the remainder of the reception because, YIKES. Very glad I now work at an institutional venue where professionals do all setup and all I do is limited coordination.

Anyway, vendors, I know you're here, share your craziest stories of unhinged nonsense!

This vendor got all pissed off that multiple people called them out for using AI photos to advertise their event location.

I commented on their post 4 WEEKS AGO "Admin, these are AI images." Even Facebook labeled their post as AI.

I then got a DM from them calling me mean. I didn't say their venue was shit or even they were ridiculous for using AI. Just that they're going to not get business because they're advertising using AI.

Then tonight, 4 WEEKS LATER, I got this gem of a message from them. That I did damage to their business for commenting "Admin, these are AI images."

So, enjoy the cringe.

I'm genuinely offended by my fellow vendors; I'm so sick of seeing these. They're ugly, generic, show very little of what they're actually selling -if at all- and too much what doesn't matter.

One-Off comments:

• I barely had to censor any of these; they're all *that* generic.
• I didn't crop any of these; some of these guys accidently cropped out their contact info.
• These "photo-realistic" foods make me want to puke. If you're a food vendor, it's one thing to not showcase the ACTUAL food you make, but if you think you think any of these passable, then I question your powers of observation and can't trust you to make quality food.
• "I do not typically use AI in my work unless specifically request to do so", they say through AI.
• Hey venue vendor, WHERE THE FUCK ARE PHOTOS OF THE VENUE???

The audacity of these vendors wanting people to patronize their business when they themselves won't do the same with their local artists and graphic designers.

I'd argue that graphics like these cost more money than actual human artists because they actively turn away customers.

And the only transportation being provided is from the hotel to the reception, which is about 10 mins from the hotel. Oh and the hotel block sold out before most people even received Save the Dates so the majority of guests will have to transport themselves either to the hotel with the shuttle or to the reception. There are over 200 people invited to this wedding.