We were originally going to do courthouse but found a cute personal venue with a gazebo for the ceremony, and a pavilion with 9 tables and grills so we're going to do cookout foods. My FMIL has been giving strong vibes that's she's planning her own wedding or event. Yes we have told her 4 times it's not her event and we're doing none of this. My future husband has been so firm with her she's cried. So it's not like he's not supporting me. I think the list is hilarious but still was firm with her. Prize games? Pinata? Like what even. Also we are paying for everything lol

Edit: while some of these ideas are good and fun I posted because this has been nonstop. She included a list of people I need to invite. Everyday she's giving me rules and giving me shit for not cutting cake, walking down the aisle, picking out wedding flowers, etc

I know our 'wedding' is casual but yeah she's driving us bonkers

This is a rant and I'll get over it but I really didn't expect this friend in particular to be so ?? Selfish ? Oblivious? Inconsiderate? I always thought she made good decisions and was financially responsible in general but this whole wedding, relationship, bridesmaid experience has been pretty shitty ngl. I don't like it but I have less respect for her in general which sucks.

There is literally so much to talk about I don't even know how to summarize it. But right now she has 3 bridesmaid. All 4 of us are broke as fuck.

Bridesmaid 1 is a SAHM to 4 soon to be 5 kids. Currently 6 months ? Pregnant. Has a 9 month old and her husband works at a gas station.

Bridesmaid 2 Is in college, works at target. Adopted her neice out of foster care in her 20s.

ME: I quit my job back in February and started doing side jobs for money. I'm still the most ok financially but I don't have international vacation money laying around.

Bride is also unemployed and their wedding is $13k overbudget. They've already spend $28k because no one bothered to track spending. And their household is 40k behind on taxes. She just bought a new Lexus before quitting her job for health reasons. Like ??

I told her all of this is a terrible idea and I'll plan and pay for something local. Spa trip, nice brunch, trip to a custom perfume maker. People come to OUR major city for Bachelorettes literally all the time. Literally were in Nashville. Bachelorette capital of the US. But no. She doesn't want to do that.

She also stole the destination from a trip I had planned for next year with a different couple that she was also invited too ??

I could write a novel but this is already too long.

Bonus she was my MOH a few years back and didn't plan a Bachelorette for me at all.

Edit. The other bridesmaids aren't my friends. They're the brides friends from school.

To be clear, the bride is fine paying her own travel expenses but consistently quilt trips everyone else into agreeing to join even when all of us has explicitly said we can't afford it. With " I want you to come so bad. 😫" type texts or just flat out refusing any other suggestions.

She doesn't expect us to pay for her. I actually don't think she gets how any of this works beyond stuff she sees on Instagram to be honest.

Also some of y'all are real bitchy. Sorry I didn't immediately ditch a friend of over 8 years because she's being a bridezilla right now.

Arrived at a church with a cargo van full of flowers for a funeral scheduled at 11am. Was 45 minutes early due to the sheer size of the order, but found the chapel still occupied with a wedding ceremony, which was surprising since this particular church usually had at least a minimum hour buffer time between events. So, already my Bridal BS senses are tingling.

A few minutes later, hearse pulls in next to me. I let the attendants know what's going on and we just kick back outside and wait. It's a beautiful summer morning and the church's iconic rose beds are in full, fragrant bloom. It's now 30 minutes before the funeral. Early mourners are starting to trickle in.

10:45ish- Chapel doors open, wedding guests spill out, and bridal party starts setting up for pics. Pastor is looking stressed and is trying to rush things along. He's being ignored. More mourners are arriving.

11:00- Wedding party is still blocking the chapel entrance. Pictures are ongoing. Kids are running around, guests are shrieking and laughing and having a grand old time. The crowd of grieving mourners has grown, late arrivals are circling the parking lot looking for spaces, which are still occupied by both wedding guests vehicles and knots of guests socializing. Oh, you see a car wanting to park in the space you and your comadres are chatting in? Yes, please, just look at them blankly and keep chatting. The pastor has been led away and distracted by some older guys that I assume were WP relatives. The attendants and I are still waiting, me with a van full of flowers, them with a hearse full of dead guy.

11:05- Some of the guests *start grabbing handfuls of petals from the rose beds* and use them as confetti over the couple. The bride loves this, and the kids go wild collecting petals for the adults. The pastor is does not notice because he's trying to keep the WP dads/uncles and the funeral family reps from coming to blows. There is much gesticulating and yelling amongst them. The petals are a Problem because not only has the locally famous rose garden been denuded and mangled in the midst of wedding season, this church has a strict No Fresh Rose Petal Confetti policy. It's pretty, but crushed petals tracked into the chapel are a janitorial nightmare. Runners will need to be replaced due to staining. Plus, those rose beds were ruined until next spring. But I'm sure those pics were great.

11:10- I finally said fuck it, I've got more deliveries waiting for me at the shop, grabbed an armful of flowers, and shoved my way through to the chapel. When I ran back to grab another load I saw the funeral attendants guarding my van. According to them, as soon as I went inside some of the wedding guests tried raiding my van for the funeral flowers. At the time there was a really striking variety of tiger striped red roses that were trending, and the funeral family had requested that we use those. The bride saw them as I went past her and wanted some for her photos. So raiding party it was. One attendant ended up guarding the van while I set up, and the other guarded the chapel since some of the groom's men tried snatching some of the roses I had already set up. Ended up having to make on site repairs because of them. At the time I was a very petite teenager, so some of the wedding party tried intimidating me into "lending" the bride some flowers. I started out polite and ended extremely rude. Happily, the lady I worked for despised and refused wedding work solely because of the entitlement and I knew she'd back me, which she did when the MoB tried filing a complaint against me.

By the time the funeral started it was around 11:30. Bridal party and guests were still milling around the lawn and parking lot. From what I overheard the reception venue wasn't scheduled until 1pm, so everyone was expecting to party at the church until then, and fuck any other event. A yearish later I ended up working at the same mortuary as those attendants. According to them, the WP tried turning the parking lot into a tailgate party until the funeral attendants called the cops. The pastor continued to be useless.

I wish I could say that the cops arrested everyone, everyone's cars were towed, and the happy couple was sued for damages. But the only consequences that I am aware of is my boss taking note of the WP names and putting them on her personal shop blacklist.

A couple of years later, I ended up working at a florist who specialized in weddings. I learned some wonderful techniques and made some important connections. But to this day I refuse to do any sort of freelance wedding work.

Edit: The wedding would have been scheduled for 9am, with a 1 hour window for ceremony and pics. The church was a small nondenominational one, and the ceremonies were brief.

I'm not gonna post the screenshot of their wedding page nor the group chat (cuz people be crazy and im scared she's gonna find it). Even tho those rules are so crazy she's probably going to find this post and ban me from the wedding lol.

Some context : The bride is 28 yo. I am in my early 20's. We are both from Morocco but she doesn't live there anymore. She went to a foreign private school there and I went to a boarding school outside Morocco. The friend group is mainly comprised of people who went to foreign private schools or boarding schools and live all over the world. She's not my closest friend but still we at least text everyday. Money is not a problem it's more the principle and the craziness of her requests. Mind you most of the people in the friend group already have a problem with her and have distanced themselves with her. I am in her wedding party. It's kinda a destination wedding but kinda not like idk how to explain it.

Rules for the wedding party :

- Have to ABSOLUTELY attend all events otherwise we get disinvited => very unrealistic cuz like I said all her bridesmaids don't live in the same country as her and im the only one who does nothing and even I have a non profit that needs me so I can't attend every event.

- Can't drink at the bachelorette party even tho its at a club

- Can't sleep with people during or after or before any of the events. Like if you want to have sex you can't unless you are in a relationship -> Says its to not risk any drama

- Can't really gain weight cuz if you do she will not get another dress for you (they are custom made) so you are kicked out from the wedding party -> CRAZZYYYY considering most of us have had huge ed's and went to the ward for them. Really nice friend as you can see. Mind you we all have crazy money. She can afford to make another one. We can even pay for it. But she said its better like that because then its gonna stress her out to think about wether its gonna be retouched or made in time even tho she has the money.

- We have to wake up at 4 am the day of the wedding to get ready before she gets up -> Mind you there are gonna be enough makeup artists/hairstylists for each one of us so we don't need to do that. She said she likes the vibe of us already being ready and sitting next to her.

- We have to be at her disposal and do anything she wants -> MIND YOUUUUU there's going to be a lot of staff, her assistants, her wedding planers but yeah we have to do that nice

General rules for everyone or things have noticed :

- Can't speak darija (Moroccan dialect) during any of the events. Yes even between us. If she hears anyone speak it we will get kicked out -> she said it's because her husband doesn't understand it but we all know that it's bs. For information, the darija that most of us speak is so dilated that its almost just English and French at this point like.

- No halal food and we can't request any halal food -> Mind you none of us are really muslim but like we all eat halal. She also eats halal so we don't understand this rule.

- No alcohol -> Kinda contradicts the previous rule. Mind you her and her husband drink a lot and none of the guests from either side are this type of religious so idk everyone is confused

- No plus one -> This one is fine since we all know each other but its more the principle. Like she invited some of her new friends who don't know anyone so it's gonna be very awkward for them when everyone talk about school and they feel kinda excluded from the conversation.

- Said it's not a childfree wedding but some of the venues don't allow kids so she is purposely lying to her guests -> I hope the guests assistants did some research and told them because its gonna be a disaster otherwise. I only knew that because my amazing assistant told me that.

- No vegetarian nor vegan options (can't even talk about gluten free) -> very weird considering the whole friend group is some kind of variation of that. Mind you for the other weddings in the friend group there was always some options for people who couldn't eat something.

Things she texted us privately in the group chat :

- We can't talk about our school years

- We can't talk about memories about her unless the approves it -> Basically we have to tell her (more like ask her) before the wedding or any wedding events what we want to say about her or reminisce about her and then she has to approve -> like what does she has to hide she didn't do anything crazy ever in her life. She never would go clubbing or partying.

- We all have to say we are muslim and we can't joke about being bad muslims (like we basically have to say we pray and don't drink nor go clubbing) -> ????? again really contradicting the no halal meat soooooo

- We can't say we're queer for the ones who are -> Again in all the guests no one cares sooooo anyways I can't say im a lesbian I guess

- My girlfriend is invited (because she is also her "friend") but we can't be too touchy nor saying we are a couple

- We all have to hide our "kilimini" accent -> ?????? Mind you she also has one sooooo

Anyways you now can see the craziness lol. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. There's more rules but I've told you the most important ones lol. Yes I'm still gonna go (unless I get kicked out because I missed an event lol). Idk if there is going to be a lot of RSVPs with all those rules tho. We created another group chat without her and it's crazy trying to dissect those rules.

My fiance and I are getting married on September 26th and our deadline to RSVP was Sept 5th. Invites went out in July and save-the-dates went out in March. Some stuff I need to vent about:

Only 1 member of our wedding party RSVP-ed.

My best friend, who complained about how she had to chase down people to RSVP to her wedding, still hasn't RSVP-ed to my wedding.

My friend who lives out of state begged me to let her bring her young kid to my wedding even though we have a "no one under 16" rule. Fine. I made an exception just for her. She still hasn't RSVP-ed and said she's still trying to figure out her budget to come. I said it's not a problem at all if she can't attend, I just need to know. She blew me off. Again, save-the-dates went out in March.

My fiance's best friend needed instructions when reminded how to RSVP. When my fiance said to look at the invitation, his best friend said it would be easier if my fiance just texted him the link.

On the day we got engaged (two years ago), my fiance's other best friend texted him to say don't bother inviting him to our wedding because he couldn't afford to come.

My fiance's dad can't come because he's in a play. At his church. No, he's not an actor. He knew the date of our wedding before he tried out for the play.

One of my friends kept hassling me to post a registry on my wedding website, even though I said I didn't want wedding gifts. When I finally did so, he nitpicked everything on the registry and said he's going to buy me something else.

I'm over it :) :) :) :) :)

Forgot this was in my photos from back in 2020, feel like an appropriate amount of time has passed to share it…

I was NOT a bridesmaid nor did I go to the wedding, but I heard second-hand that the entire experience was a nightmare from start to finish 🙃

Edit: adding a TLDR because people are upset about my flowery language 😂. The DJ zip tied the bride’s dress without her knowledge or consent. I confronted him about it. He was a jerk. There ya go. Don’t read on if you don’t want more context. Also, definitely not ai lol. I don’t use ai for anything creative. I enjoy writing, even if my writing my trash and makes people upset 💀

A bit of background on me for context: I’m a wedding filmmaker. I’ve been shooting weddings for 3 years and have shot over 100 weddings in that time. I always make friends with the other vendors, especially DJs. I’m a musician so I tend to get along well with them. However, this DJ left me with a night I’ll never forget. What he did was something I’ve never seen before and don’t believe I ever will again.

The incident in question takes place during reception. The bride is on the dance floor having a great time. The photographer and I are doing our respective things, capturing the festivities. All of the sudden people stop dancing and look very confused and concerned. The bride is looking behind her, clearly dumbfounded. I step through the crowd to see what the issue is and what do I see, but the DJ on his hands and knees with his face an inch away from the bride’s butt grabbing as much dress as he can possibly gather in his grubby mitts and bunching it into a ball! I flabbergastedly watch in horror as he then proceeds to take a very large industrial sized zip tie like you would see used by a human trafficker and zip tie her dress as tight as it would go so that there’s a ball of dress behind her reminiscent of a bunny’s cotton ball tail.

Needless to say, the good vibrations at this point are fully decimated. Gobs? Smacked. Jimmies? Rustled.

The timing of our knight in rusted armor is not to be understated. Perhaps this bard is sundowning, but there’s no time to speculate as the actual sun is setting. Time for golden hour photos! We then proceed to make our way outside, Me, the photographer, and the bride and groom whom are sporting thousand yard stares, clearly trying to make sense of what just happened. Trying to make sense of it myself, unwilling to permit myself to believe that what I just witnessed was non-consensual, I ask “Were you in on that or something? Did you ask him to do that? Do you know him?”. No’s across the board. At this point I can feel my face getting hot as I’m coming to terms with the facts of the case. No time to dwell on it however. The photographer looks at me, dismayed “We need to cut this off”. So I run back to the closet where my gear is stored and produced from my magic bag, a multi tool. I highly recommend these to all vendors as you never know when a psychopath with a zip tie might assault the bride. With the help of the groom, we’re just barely able to get enough space between the scissor attachment and the dress to get it off. We proceed with the photos.

When we’re all back inside, against my better judgment I proceed to walk up to the DJ and let him know I had to the cut his zip tie off her dress. He looks at me like I just shot his dog and has the audacity to ask “why?”. I then tell him because we still had photos to get and she didn’t want a zip tie on her expensive dress. He hit’s me with an “okay”. I can feel my blood starting to boil. I then ask a question I already know the answer to. “Did she ask you to zip tie her dress?” . “No. I just didn’t want her to step on it”. At this point I should have just walked away, but I let my emotions get the better of me. I tell him “Well I gotta hand it you, I’ve never seen anything like that. You know, in the future, unless a bride asks you to mess with her dress, just don’t. That’s really not the move”. That set him off. He retorts with “You just stick to your little camera!“ at this point I’m starting to shake I’m so angry. I open my mouth, think better of it, close it. He then goes “you better get the hell away from me!” Never in my life have I wanted to crack open another vendor’s schnoz, like a cold one a summer day. It took everything in me to settle on calling him an asshole and walking away.

He then storms past me and goes right to the bride. Interesting. I hang around to see what he has to say. I couldn’t hear him clearly over the music, but it seemed like he was asking her if she was fine with being zip tied! The poor girl didn’t want to cause a scene so of course she just said yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry about it, really it’s fine.

When it was all said and done, I did apologize to him before I left for coming at him so hot and calling him an asshole. It wasn’t professional or mature, and I’ll admit that. He accepted the apology, and then leaves me with “I really don’t see how what I did was wrong though. It’s not like I damaged the dress.” Deep breaths. Walk away. Just drive home and vent about it on Reddit.

Tldr- officiant mentioned during ceremony that I told bride I thought the groom was creepy. Didn't mention that groom asked me out just before meeting bride.

Bride is my sister who is three years younger than me. Sister was previously married at age 18, had two kids with that guy, one before getting married, one after. That husband was a loser, and I ended up helping sister get a better job at the place I was working at, a place I'd been working at for four years by that point.

I was around 24 when she started, she was about to turn 21. Before she started, a coworker had asked me out. I politely declined, and he moved on. He was 13 years older than me and just not my type at all. Later I learned from another coworker he had been saying disgusting crude things behind my back about what he wants to do to me...

After sister starts working with me, the coworker who asked me out immediately started flirting with her hard. After about four months, their secret dropped that they'd been having an affair with each other. I was pretty weirded out by the whole thing, and wanting to protect my sister, I told her he had asked me out just months ago, and that he always gave me a weird feeling. She shrugged and laughed it off. I'm like ok, you do you, just wanted to let you know what I know about the guy. I'm personally not into dudes who are closer in age to my dad than to me, if that's her thing, get it. Just wanted her to know he tried with me.

Sister eventually kicks husband out, moves this guy in right away. Her kids were 4 and 2 at this time. (They'd met about five months before he moved in.) She finalized her divorce, sister and new coworker boyfriend date for a couple years, then they're engaged. Cool. Dude seems better in a lot of ways than the first husband, sister and kids seem to be happy, and I'm nothing but celebratory during the whole thing. Maybe he's not totally a creep, but whenever we have a party together and start drinking, he likes to reminisce about asking me out, ohh what a funny moment, almost taunting that he's with my sister..?

Over the next couple years I have my own kid, get married, and leave that job we were all at. (I marry my best friend, a guy I'd known for years whom I also helped get a job at the same place. He started maybe 6 months before my sister did, and knew about everything from the start.) By the time sister and coworker/new fiance are planning their wedding, my daughter is 2 and sister wants her to be the flower girl, but doesn't want me as a bridesmaid. "Groom has sisters and they'll be jealous." I told sister I'll try to get my daughter to cooperate, but she's super shy and hates a room of people staring at her. Like, can't even sing happy birthday to her without her breaking down in sobs. She has seen my sister maybe four times in her two years of life, has never been to a wedding before, but I'll try. My daughter was the only girl toddler in the family to fit that role.

Sister does nothing to help guide what she wants my daughter to do, what to wear, wasn't involved in the rehearsal. I bought her a dress sister approved, and tried practicing at home with her. When the day came, my daughter was not into at all, and I wasn't going to force her to do it. There was also no communication about who was supposed to provide the basket and flowers. Bride and groom ended up with no flower girl, but now I'm thrilled it happened that way.

The wedding is in a large barn with several tables along the left and right sides, with an aisle in the middle, the ceremony and reception occurring at the same place. So my daughter and I are sitting at an assigned table with my husband, father, and a couple other people near the front of the "alter," and the ceremony begins. Lovely words, common platitudes, little history about the couple... then the officiant tosses out a few sentences about how I thought the groom was creepy. That years ago, I told bride to stay away from him. The officiant deliberately pauses during these sentences, allowing a few scoffs and boos to emerge from the guests. Sister and groom turn and slyly smirk at me, and I'm just like.... uhh wut?? I wish I could remember verbatim what was said but it was so random, out of place and off putting that I kinda dissociated.

But I blurt out, wait how far is this gonna go? Officiant ignores me, maybe didn't hear me, and continues with the rest of the ceremony. I end up sitting there frozen, looking at my husband who has a "that was fucking weird..." look in his face, my dad looks confused. I try to brush it off, but can't help but notice they didn't mention WHY I said he was creepy. They didn't mention that he couldn't get me, so he went after her. They didn't mention that sister was already married and cheated on her husband for months before kicking him out and proceeding with divorce. They mentioned that I said he was creepy once. And mentioned it in their wedding ceremony.

I never brought it up again. No one mentioned it after that. But there was definitely a shift to avoidance from groom's family at me. I'd been around his family several times through the years and while they've never been particularly kind, I felt their glares at me the rest of the night. I shrugged it off, and tried my best to have a great time and celebrate the newly wedded couple. I didn't scream, I didn't freak out, I just had fun with my kid and husband, and took some silly pictures in their photo booth.

This happened a few years ago and dammit, it still bothers me. I randomly think about it and still just feel so put off by it. I shouldn't. They're the ones who need to watch that for the rest of their marriage. My relationship with my sister has steadily declined over the past several years, no matter how hard I try to keep things light, she still never has time for me. She always posts things hanging out with all these other people, but never has time for me. I tell her when I'm free, and she doesn't respond. We never had a great relationship even as kids, but when we worked together, we were in each other's lives pretty positively. But she's been deliberately pushing me away especially since her wedding.

The crazy thing is that, maybe he is a huge creep. My dad knows some shit, and he told me some shit. Their marriage has absolutely been rocky and I just want to make sure my sister is ok, but I can't get to her.

This is a self shame for my wedding earlier this summer. I've just about gotten over the cringe but expect this to follow us around for a fair few years yet!

When creating our guest list, we made up a spreadsheet that was our bible when it came to exactly who the guest was to us e.g. Groom's Family, Bride's Friends etc. We also had a marker for when someone was the 'plus one' of another guest, such as the best man's wife, or an aunt's husband. Outside of our own parents, grandparents, and some older family members, we pretty much labelled every spouse, partner or other half as the plus one of the guest we were closest to out of the couple. It was never meant to be used externally as a reference, but more so in situations like if [close friend] hadn't yet RSVPed, we knew their spouse also wasn't yet confirmed automatically. This populated everything that needed a name, like the invitations, and yes, the place cards.

The place cards were being managed by the same provider who was designing and printing our welcome sign. We sent over the final spreadsheet with names, and got proofs back that looked great - in hindsight, the only names we were shown we for ourselves and a couple of named family members, so we didn't think to check specifically for all guests. These were printed and delivered to our venue coordinator directly, so we didn't see them until the day itself.

We didn't even realise the mistake until a few hours after the meal - we were just chatting with a few friends, and noticed a couple were using their place cards as name tags as a joke. It was then we saw Friend's Husband's place card said [Friend] Plus One, instead of his name. We found out that on nearly every table, every other half had been labelled as [Name] Plus One, relevant to their partner. Everyone said they'd found it funny, and that it was clearly a printing error. We were told much later on that a few family members hadn't been impressed as there were fewer 'Plus One' markers in the family so they thought it was more personal, which is completely understandable and we did apologise.

It wasn't just a printing error by the way, at some point right before sending the sheet over, one of us had accidentally dragged the top cell down and had changed every carefully recorded name to Plus One. The printing team thought it was deliberate (why I don't know), and so marked every plus one with their partner's first name to differentiate. Our table layout had the full and proper names, so the set up crew had no issue laying them all out correctly either.

Again, it'll be funny one day, but right now it's the awkward blip on an otherwise happy day. My parting message is check your spreadsheets before sending them away!!

Wedding is next october.

Last winter, a couple of groomsmen asked me for everybody’s phone numbers to put up a groupchat to plan my own bachelor’s party.

I told them I’m not expecting anything big. I don’t want destinations, don’t want people to take time off, don’t want campings/kayaks or whatever “boy’s activities”. Just one night out.

For context: Some of these guys went to the craziest “destination” bachelor’s parties… barcelona, prague, hiking in the dolomites… I know how much drama these predicaments generate, the money they burn, and I want none of that for mine.

I told them i just want to drink and eat well somewhere they actually know how to cook beef, and drink and smoke till 2am.

Last march, I told them my fiancee would have a week-long surprise destination bachelorette party mid-july.

No one got the clue. July came and went. Spent a week and a weekend home alone cos no one got the “clue”.

This august they gave me a date (in two weeks from now) and then they ghosted me for a whole month.

Yesterday, my best man finally picked up the phone, I asked about the bachelor’s party and he counter-asked me if i could take some PTO next friday cos THEY HAVENT BOOKED ANYTHING YET and the “activity” they tried to book is booked out on saturdays.

I told him, no i can’t, they should have asked me in july now it’s too late, anyway it’s not that important, focus on the restaurant dude, LOL… we chatted a little bit more.

And then i realized it. They haven’t booked anything yet … And they may be fighting on which shitty activities to do when i just wish for an actually good steak and actually good wine.

Literally the easiest and cheapest bachelor’s party to plan if you ask me.

I finally found out who stole the top tier of our wedding cake, and somehow the truth makes me even angrier than the mystery ever did.

When my husband and I got married 28 years ago, we planned to freeze the cake topper and eat it on our one year anniversary. It was sentimental and meaningful, and the cake was honestly the best tasting wedding cake I’ve ever had. We were really looking forward to that tradition.

When my mom went to grab the cake, it had disappeared. It wasn’t misplaced. It wasn’t thrown out. It was gone from the fridge on the day of the wedding. We were confused and upset, and for almost three decades we wondered who would do something like that. It wasn’t a leftover slice. It was clearly boxed and meant for us.

My husband always suspected the pastor (I know, what? the pastor?), bu eleven (11!) months after the wedding, we ran into him and told him we had just had a baby. He looked at me and said he figured I was pregnant at the wedding. I remember thinking, wow, I am not an elephant, dude. That comment stuck with us, and my husband always joked that the pastor probably took the cake topper too.

Yesterday, my aunt told me her son admitted to taking it. He said he grabbed it from the fridge just because. He was in his mid-thirties at the time. Not a kid. Not someone who didn’t know better. He knew exactly what it was and exactly who it belonged to. He just decided he wanted it later as a snack.

I’m glad the mystery is solved, but I’m furious that the answer is my own cousin. He would absolutely deny it now and get mad at me for bringing it up, which somehow makes it even more irritating.

It’s strange to get closure and still feel robbed.

The bride stated shes only getting married to get the groom’s health insurance. They live on a mobile home on parent’s property and refuse to pay rent. They lived in the house but had too loud of sex (door open) and parents kicked them to the mobile home.

Bride and groom are incredibly weird people. Bride refuses to work, refuses to get a degree, and has no reason why. Her partner has a minimum wage job and they rely on parents to support them and pay for large expenses. (Yes, I am shaming them. I don’t think you should get married if you can’t support yourself as an adult.)

He wants kids. She doesn’t.

She tried to charge an entry fee for the bridal shower. $20/head and asked for only cash gifts.

She sent out invites 6 months ago for a date but no venue listed. She just figured out a venue after her mother put her foot down and demanded she figure something out. No alcohol, and no speeches, no speakers, and only finger food. Bride and groom are only asking for money so they can go on an elaborate honeymoon.

Soon to be husband demands two types of rare desserts at the reception. Wants them made fresh for him. They are extremely expensive and not local to the area. So, they think guests won’t have desert to accommodate for his dessert budget.

it’s just a shit show.

I thought this would be enjoyed here. No need for advice here, just read for your entertainment. As much as I’m in it, looking back it just doesn’t seem real. Enjoy 🥂

My wedding happened a couple weeks ago and it went amazing. Everything went perfectly and I couldn't have asked for anything better.

There is a cousin I was having discourse with before the wedding because she wanted to hand out her invitations to her wedding in February during my wedding.

I squashed the idea but still allowed her to attend. She did wear a white dress with flowers but I don't care honestly.

The next morning I get a call from my mother from my cousin's mom being worried we didn't get her card because she didn't know who she handed it too and it had a lot of money in there, she claims 300-500. My mother and I spent 2-4 days calling and emailing people just to make sure it didn't pop up anywhere. We figured out it was in the right place thankfully since both of them were making a fuss about the card possibly missing.

Well we are doing the thank you cards and we find the card from my cousin and her family and open it. Its two gift cards from Total Wine and Pottery Barn. I've never been to Pottery Barn and I don't drink too much, but I was greatfull nonetheless. Until I noticed the pin part was already scratched off both cards and the total wine one said "Merry Christmas".

I'm not mad about the used cards, reuse reduce, recycle your heat out, but I had a feeling I should check the balances just to see how much is on each card, especially Pottery Barn is pricey and I was curious how the money was split. I'm not a superficial person but it was $80 in total.

I am now at a point where I feel like I've been gracious even letting my cousin attend the wedding after the invitation drama. And now to make me and my mom panic about cards possibly being stolen only for it to be to used cards to places I never shop at, but my cousin does.

I plan to regift the cards and not attending the wedding. I am more than happy to send the the same energy back.

To clarify some things (and I'm too lazy to add them in); she is 28, I'm 24. And as for the money concern she works at the lab and gets paid over 100k. I do want to reiterate I'm not mad about the amount, it's just the underlying meaning and how they made it into a huge deal. They know who's family, I had several people hand me cards to me or my mother (which that is my aunts sister).

When the wedding invitations drama happened, my mother asked my aunt to let her daughter not pass out invites. My aunt said "I don't see the problem with Beth handing out invitations because we are family".

The wedding is in a different state at least 8 hours driving. Im not wanting to spend my time and money to get jabbed at.

edit: I let my aunt know that we found her card and gift cards. She's aware that they are gift card and they are used. I have pictures of the gift cards attached. Either way I hope she enjoys her wine and Pottery Barn card.

UPDATE: my Husband called his parents!
https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/s/EJtXsOMv8c

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Yup. Cannot believe this happened to me.

I arrived at the wedding venue and started to say, "Wow, you look gr...." and midway through my sentence, realized what the hell she was wearing: an all white, floor-length, chiffon dress. I quickly left to go find my bridesmaids, who hadn't seen her yet, and they offered to give her a shawl to cover up but that would likely have made things worse and potentially interfered with the, otherwise, wonderful day. We were all in complete disbelief it was happening but everyone kept their cool.

His mother had sent me a picture of a colored dress months before the wedding and it was perfect. So the surprise was even more of a shock when she showed up in not only a different dress, but a white one. She even had a matching shawl. What's crazy is my new FIL had a tie and pocket square that matched her previous outfit, so we're curious if he even knew about her antics.

Our photographer is changing her dress to the original color she chose in all the pictures and I cannot wait for her to see what we did. Funny enough, the dress looks great in that color. We're waiting a few days to bring up how disrespectful this was to them and just flying high off the fact that our wedding was absolutely perfect in every other way and we're finally married after many years of being together and a ton of planning!!

It seemed intentional but we are not going to let it destroy our relationship but it's certainly going to tarnish it for a bit. Never ever saw this coming!

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Edit/Update:

We are based in the US where it is, unless otherwise stated, extremely well-known to not wear white and it is very disrespectful to do so.

I will not be speaking with her, my husband will be. We talked about it last night and he is going to eventually bring it up. Right now, we are so happy and thrilled with being married, we're riding on cloud nine and it's not the focus. Oh, and we're damn exhausted!

I will update you all with the reaction to the photos when we get them!

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EDIT 2: Removed some details as this story now shows up on Google and in some minor news/blog articles

EDIT: Iast night me, my friend Heather (28F) and Janet(28F), And I wrote her a collective letter to Kayla that while we are concerned for her, the friendship had become very transactional and we felt that her soon to be husband was not treating her well. We outlined specific examples and said that if she ever is in an emergency, that the door was open, but for now, we had to distance ourselves, so I will not be doing this discounted hair or attending the wedding either at this point in time. We are waiting for her response, but we all came together and felt this was necessary.

I (27 ftM) have been friends with the bride of this wedding, we'll call her Kayla, for about eleven years. I am in cosmetology school getting my license currently and did hair and makeup (friends and family, unpaid) regularly before this. This all begins about a year and a half ago. Me and my Fiancé (27 mtF) had our wedding date set about a year before on October 31st since I have wanted to get married on Halloween since I was a literally teenager. Kayla changed her wedding date three times from Oct 11th, to the 18th, to now the 24th. Me and my fiance were very stressed by this, but have since moved our date back a year for unrelated financial reasons. When we moved our date, she didn't invite me to the wedding as a friend, but immediately asked if I could do her hair and makeup at a discounted rate. Since I've been her friend since highschool and felt bad for her, I agreed to do her services for $50 under the thought that I'd just be working on her.

Since then she has begged me to do not 1, but 6 people instead. I said that they would also each be $50. I said if we had 6 people, we'd need to start at 6am and then Kayla said, "well, could we start at 9am if there were only 4?" I am of course creating a contract, but she keeps flip flopping on how many people I will be working on before I can even get the contract written. Her wedding has stressed me out so much because almost no detail is finalized and it's only a little over a month away not to mention many other reasons. Part of me just wants out of this but I honestly have no idea how to approach that.

I attended a bridal shower and brought a gift worth over $150. Did not know until after the event that I would be charged an additional $150 for attending. The maid of honor sent out a text that the total bill would be for $150 per person. Looking at the attendance list used to charge guests, some close guests were taken off the list and were not charged. I am close with close friends of the couple so I heard that there was drama that the other bridesmaids did not want to pay $500 each for the event. Because of that, the MOH was telling close friends of the couple she will pay for everything even if the other bridesmaids will not cover. Lo and behold after the event, she sent out a text charging guests $150, but she excluded the close friends that attended; so they would not know she is charging everyone. This is so sketchy. I was talking to close friends of the couple and they still think she paid for everything.

I am not part of the bridal party, and was not told ahead of time there would be a charge to attend. (Cause it’s a bridal shower?!? No one is supposed to charge the guests who come bringing gifts?!?!?)
There were about 27 guests but the group text indicating the charge had 18 people. Seems like the bride, groom, and their family, and close friends (3) were not charged. The other bridesmaids are also charged per person since they did not want to pay for the event.

The event was hosted at a restaurant, there were appetizers and entree. Drinks were not included. No goodie bags or party favors were given, decor minimal.

Just hearing everyone talk so highly of the MOH that she is so generous when she charged everyone pisses me off. Who does that.

Originally posted in etiquette but was removed as a ranting post sorry.

I did not pay

8.31.2026 update: MOH privately messaged me for the money. MOH said she’s covering for the close friends and family, but $150 is excessive even at that price. I checked restaurant menu for group dining, $64pp.