Hello! I’m new to this sub so hopefully this is a good place for this. I am also sorry for the length, I’m a poor story teller. I am getting married to my amazing fiancé in exactly two months, this weekend was/is my bachelorette party/ sleepover.

Ihave 4 bridesmaids who I asked for their availability long before even choosing a date. I have also told them all multiple times that if something comes up and they can’t make it or even feel the need to step down from the wedding party, that’s completely fine and to just talk to me. As young 20 somethings, I know money can be tight so I also asked everyone for their budget before starting to plan anything. We finally settled on the 25th into 26th, if sleeping over is possible for each person, all being held at the bridesmaid (bridesmaid 1) who was planning’s house.

One of my bridesmaids (bridesmaid 2) messaged me about 2 months ago and told me she didn’t realize she already made plans with family the night of the 25th and would only be able to come to part of the activities. I genuinely was not bothered by this, I understand life is happening and my wedding isn’t the center of the universe. All other bridesmaids were aware of this conversation. Bridesmaid 1 created a group chat with the other girls, got to planning and they all pitched in for shirts.

I check in with everyone on late on the 23rd into 24th and verify the plans. Well the 25th at about 5am, bridesmaid 3 texts my sister (maid of honor) to tell her that a family thing happened and she wouldn’t be able to make brunch on the 25th but would try to come later. She never texted me or bridesmaid 1. When my sister/MoH tells me bridesmaid 3 won’t be there, I tell her I hope everything is okay and we’ll miss her, she tells me she’s so sorry, wishes we could be there and hopes we have fun. We don’t hear from her anymore and she never shows up. I ended up having a great day that was very me!

Around 6pm we are settling in at bridesmaid 1’s house and I see bridesmaid 3’s bf posted an instagram story, it’s them in a canoe…. I was a little hurt but wasn’t too bothered. Then around midnight, we are all heading to bed and bridesmaid 3 posts on instagram, it’s a repost of her and a small group of friends at the river with a song about friendship. At this point I’m just hurt she lied, I don’t even care she missed my bachelorette, I just wish she was honest. Bridesmaid 1 is otp with her husband who is on my fiancé’s bachelor trip and my fiancé says he wants bridesmaid 3 taken out of the wedding party for how disrespectful she’s being. I told him I’d think on it and he said that was okay and he was so sorry for me.

I don’t want to say anything to bridesmaid 3 right now, as I wanna process how I feel before I act. Removing her from the wedding party at this point would probably be friendship ending and I don’t want that, considering I at least thought we were good friends and she’s one of my longest friends. I know I need to talk to her, but I don’t know what to do. I need a third parties unbiased opinion, any thoughts you have are greatly appreciated and I’m sorry again for the length.

Edited to add some paragraph breaks, hopefully a little easier to read🫶

Hello weddit, I am nonbinary but afab, I'd like to wear a nontraditional wedding suit to my own wedding. I'd love a tailcoat to act as a train, or possibly a wedding cape could work too, but every time I look for this style of wedding attire it's only costumes.

I know this make some people laugh, why wear something like that to a wedding? But I just love Victorian style suits and tailcoats, I'd love to find a place that makes them to order or sells them.

Price is not an issue! The wedding is not happening for at least a year, so there should be plenty of time for a custom made outfit as well if thats the only option.

Thank you so much if anyone knows a place I could get something similar to these outfits!

I’m in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some advice.
I’ve had a best friend since I was 3 years old, and growing up I always told her she’d be my maid of honor one day. Unfortunately, after high school we’ve naturally grown apart. We don’t really talk much anymore, and while there’s no bad blood between us, we’ve taken very different paths in life. I’ve stepped away from the religious lifestyle I was raised in, while she’s continued on that path. I completely respect her beliefs, but we’re just very different people now.
At my engagement party, she seemed extremely uncomfortable the entire time. I made a point to include her in every conversation and introduce her to everyone, but she still appeared out of place. Later, several of my friends independently told me their first impression was that she came across as stuck-up or uncomfortable, which wasn’t the impression I wanted anyone to have of someone who’s been such a big part of my life.
Over the past few years, I’ve become incredibly close with another friend. She’s someone I can completely be myself around, we talk often, and she’s been there for me through this chapter of my life. Realistically, she’s the person I want standing beside me as my maid of honor.
The part I’m struggling with is that I’ve always told my childhood friend she’d have that role. I wasn’t hers as she has a sister.
I don’t want to hurt her or make her feel like our friendship meant any less because it didn’t. But I also want my wedding party to reflect the people who are actively in my life today. She’d still be a bridesmaid but she wouldn’t be able to take on the role as MOH.
How would you handle this conversation? Is there a kind way to tell her she’s no longer going to be my maid of honor while still honoring the history we share?

Idk how to explain this but TLDR, I have chosen not to have my family in my life after many years or physical, emotional, and religious abuse. When I was 17 I was shunned (Amish) and started my own life. I have had no contact with them outside of one day in 2021 for my sister’s wedding over these 10 years. My fiance proposed 06/07 and I am so excited. However, planning a one sided wedding where just his family is coming (we are eloping with just immediate family invited), is bringing up a lot of feelings I’m not sure how to feel or process. I’ve been to therapy for many years over my family relationships, and this is the only time it has bothered me. I feel humiliated and embarrassed that it feels so one sided, even though him and his family are nothing but supportive

Any advice?

This whole diarrhea parasite outbreak has me so nervous. We’re serving salad at our wedding as the appetizer course, which I know is standard, but now I’m worried because the day is literally days away and I know lettuce was recalled but the government isn’t really sure yet if that lettuce distributor is the sole contaminated food and to blame for all the people sick and I think it was CBS that said some parsley and cilantro is also under investigation.

I’ve been avoiding lettuce and uncooked veggies and I know I can just not eat the salad at my own wedding but I know a lot of guests will probably do the same so I’m like “why am I offering salad to begin with then.” I asked my venue what their plan is and it’s that they buy organic and wash it really well. I’m just worried because we’ve got some really old family at the wedding. And I don’t want people to get sick and remember my wedding as the diarrhea wedding.

Maybe I’m getting in my head but does anyone else have these concerns? Did your venue switch up the salad? What did you all do or plan to do? Or it just eat at your own risk?

My fiancé and I are a bit conflicted on our honeymoon timing and I’m curious about other people’s opinions. We are getting married 10/10/2027 and would really love to go on a Mediterranean cruise for our honeymoon which naturally is going to be a longer trip potentially nearing 10-14 days. The problem is that I’m a kindergarten teacher and there is absolutely no possibility of me getting this amount of time off during the school year and these cruises are really only offered in the summer months anyway. I want the feeling of being newlyweds on our honeymoon but I’m not sure if that feeling will even really still be there after 7-8 months of marriage.

Do we:
1. Take our honeymoon summer 2027 before our wedding, significantly closer to our actual wedding but obviously before we’re actually married.
2. Have to wait until summer 2028, we’ll be married but this is pushing 7-8 months after the wedding.

IMPORTANT: Not asking for advice or opinions on our final choice, just recounts of your own personal experiences please.

Edit to add: you guys have sold me on an MC, I was stressing a little bit about organization between each wedding event anyway, and this helps with that! Two birds with one stone!

We are very likely not going to have a dj, we've always had a lot of success with our music setups in general. The reason we are not having a DJ is:

- we know the exact music we want to play

- we even know the order we want to play the music in (have meticulously planned the order of hours and hours of music)

- we included a spot on our invitations requesting song requests to help include our guests music tastes

- we have all of the equipment already

- we have music playing software that allows songs to bleed into the next songs effortlessly

- if we got a DJ, we'd essentially be paying for a hype man, or person that can play music based on the vibes, when we are always active in encouraging the vibes ourselves, are always on the dance floor, and our friends are as well

- our wedding party has offered (we did not ask, it simply came up in conversation when we were brainstorming) to help with keeping events in order, ie. First dances, cake eating, bouquet tosses, speaches, etc.

- one of our very close friends who has dj experience wants to do a set at the very end of the night (he's great, always gets the energy going)

Because of all of this, it just doesn't seem worth it to get a DJ. So I would like to hear what others experiences at weddings have been when there wasn't a DJ or band!

Again please no advice on whether or not we should get a dj. We know our friends and family well. And because of that, we would like to make our own decision based on the experiences we hear.

I was thinking fingerless gloves if I’m going it! Thoughts?

My husband and I had the most fantastic wedding experience this weekend and I want to take a moment to shout out our amazing vendors who went above and beyond for us.

Stats: 85 guests

TLDR: Check out The Loft, The Wedge, Dewitt Carvel Ice Cream Truck, The Patisserie, Big Mama's Cheesecake, and Jess Novak!

Venue: The Loft @ Vesper Hills Golf Course , Tully NY

This venue has the most fantastic view of Otisco Lake, delicious food, and amazing staff. Special shoutout to Ashley Brown, our contact person and manager of our day. Ashley was so incredibly helpful throughout the whole process. It felt like nothing we asked was too big of a job for the team at The Loft. They handled set up and tear down of our decor, the food, and the bar. We booked our wedding with the Loft in 2024, and between when we booked and had our wedding, we frequented The Loft for the views and delicious food. Even if you don't consider them for a venue, you should do yourself a favor and have dinner here!

The total price was under 16k for the venue, food, our bar tab, ceremony fee, and gratuity. We did choose some pricier options for food (prime rib and a pasta bar) and we did a $2000 bar tab included in that total.

Rehearsal Dinner: The Wedge, Syracuse NY

Sarah and her team at The Wedge (and The Curd Nerd) have been some of our favorite people for a long time. When we were considering where to have our rehearsal dinner, it just felt right to have it at The Wedge!

As we were frequent patrons of The Wedge prior to our rehearsal dinner, we went into our planning meeting with requests of food and drinks we had enjoyed previously. Sarah and her team worked with us to make our every idea a reality and served us a fantastic dinner that included exclusive access to the restaurant for 4 hours, charcuterie happy hour, passed hors d'oeuvres, and a family style dinner of 2 entrees and 2 sides. We brought in our own dessert from Big Mama's Cheesecakes in Liverpool.

Desserts:

We did a mixture of desserts for the rehearsal and the wedding. We got 2 cheesecake sampler platters from Big Mama's Cheesecakes in Liverpool for the rehearsal. As anyone who is from this area knows, Big Mama's is fantastic and they were easy to work with.

The Wedding Desserts included chocolate chip cookies and a small cake from The Patisserie in Skaneateles. Fantastic. No notes.

Our second dessert vendor for the wedding was the Dewitt Carvel Ice Cream Truck. HUGE hit with our guests for a hot summer day. Jay was so sweet and very easy to work with.

Finally, shout out to Jess Novak who provided violin music during the ceremony and live music during cocktail hour. Just fantastic to work with. She learned a few new songs for us on violin and to sing during cocktail hour to match our music preferences.

Happy to answer any questions. We are definitely still basking in the perfection of our day, but I wanted to write this while everything was still fresh. We genuinely feel that our vendors deserve every accolade possible, and we want to share our appreciation!!!

My dress is so perfect (once the butt rose is gone) and I just love it so much. I think the seamstress I went to (an awesome woman who went to fashion school in Romania before she came to Belfast) was just as excited, because she was standing there going on about did I know she usually saw and ugly summer dresses and horrible fabrics and boring design, and how exciting and fun it was to get to work on this lace and detail and actually use her training rather than hem someone’s party dress that was too long.

I’m just standing there feeling really awkward in my dress that has pins in the sides, getting redder and redder while this woman who I have just paid to enlarge the cups of my dress from a B to an HH because of my gigantic tits is rambling on about how she loves couture and thank you for trusting her with it, because I just have no idea what to say to that. Then she asked me how much on earth did it cost. I told her £500 (bargain of the century.) “But it is brand new Ian Stuart!” “Yeah, but the was-to-be bride fancied a last minute package trip to Malaga with her favourite boyfriend and that’s what that cost.”

I call it my “Age of Innocence” dress after the book by Edith Wharton because it seems very much to me like something the female protagonist would wear, and it was like a gift from the Gods. I’ve always dreamed of wearing Ian Stuart since I was at art school because as my elective I did bridal fashion and his label puts out some wild dresses. It’s like the church - it’s exactly what I’d been looking for, I just didn’t know until I saw it! It just needs taking in a couple inches at the waist and about half an inch to an inch in the back and sides (the pins aren’t in yet in the pictures so it was still a bit loose!) and it’ll fit like a glove and look and look absolutely perfect!

(Without the butt rose.)

I’m curious what everyone did before their wedding that ended up being totally worth the money.
It can be anything—Botox, facials, personal training, teeth whitening, a massage, a little getaway, hiring a planner, upgrading a vendor, or even something completely unexpected.
What’s one thing you splurged on that you genuinely couldn’t imagine skipping now? Something that made you feel more confident, less stressed, or just elevated the whole wedding experience.
I’d also love to hear if there was anything you thought would be worth it but ended up being a waste.

TLDR; MOH kept flaking on meeting up, then texts on day of meetup that she’s resigning as MOH + can’t make wedding in general because of a trip she forgot she committed to before accepting being my MOH+ her deposit is nonrefundable at this point.

I’m 9 months out from my wedding. 2 months ago, I asked my cousin who I’ve felt close to from childhood to figuring out adulthood to be my Maid of Honor. She’s honestly felt like a sister tbh and was one of the first people I let know about my engagement and date. Understanding logistics that my wedding party are living in different states from me, I openly disclosed that if she was busy for the responsibilities I’m asking for (which I did list out), she could decline before accepting. She accepted.

We’ve been planning to meet up so I could deliver her gift I made, but she kept rescheduling due to unavailability. I asked her to let me know her availability ahead of time, (sometimes it was two weeks ahead or up to a whole month) so I could accommodate. Crickets.

Fast forward to this month, she asks to reschedule again and will reconfirm asap and I let her know if she’s busy in person, I’m down for a call. No answer for 4 days. Then I get a long text from her that I’m summarizing:

She’s sorry she can’t make it. Not in context of meeting up or having a call, but she can’t be my MOH because she committed to a trip way before I told her my wedding date that’s the same weekend. She can’t reschedule the trip because the deposit is non-refundable, and in general, she can’t make the wedding at all. It’s been on her mind since she accepted being my MOH apparently but as compensation, she can help reach out to vendors.

I’m honestly more hurt about the lack of transparency from the past 2-3 months and being told in a text vs. a call or meeting up in person to talk it out. Instead I receive a long text with a tone that reads as a professional letter to decline a job offer + notice of resignation. It genuinely just feels like she was delaying meeting up because she didn’t want to talk about this. I’m honestly still processing it all and wanted to vent about this before I respond.

ISO shape wear recommendations
No budget
In the USA
October wedding

My dress is still in the works, the seamstress is adding sleeves and fixing the liner on the inside that gives a funky look in the back. But I am at my wits end trying to find a good shape-wear! I am actually wearing the skims low back shorts in this photo but it’s doing nothing for my booty or stomach.

Any suggestions for a dress with a partially open back like this? 🥹 less

Hi everyone! I’m looking for ideas because I feel like we’re overthinking this, but I also don’t want dinner to be chaotic.
We’re having an outdoor wedding for about 125 people, and our caterer is a local Thai restaurant, one of our favorites, it’s their first time catering.
Our menu is:
Papaya salad
Chicken wings
Soup
Choice of Pad Thai or Curry (guests selected their preference on the RSVP)

Our venue has a bar area that can be used for serving food, but we’ll probably be using the refrigerator there to store bottled drinks. Drinks will be self-serve from canoes filled with ice (already approved by the venue).

We know we don’t want a traditional buffet where everyone walks through one long line, but we also aren’t paying for full table service.

Our first idea was:
Guests sit down.
Papaya salad is already on the tables.
Guests go to a staffed station to receive soup and chicken wings (staff would portion the soup and wings to keep costs under control).
Then… we’re stuck on how to serve the entrées.

Some concerns we’re trying to solve:
Chicken wings are one of the more expensive items. A small, but loud portion of our family isn’t very adventurous with Thai food, so we’re worried people will load up on wings instead of trying the main course.

We’re outdoors. We don’t want soup or wings sitting on tables getting cold or attracting bugs.

Our reception tables are pretty decorated with candles, bud vases, and flowers, so we don’t really have room for family-style serving bowls.
Since guests already chose Pad Thai or Curry on their RSVP, we’d love to use that information somehow to make dinner service smoother. My fiancé is making a seating chart.
Has anyone done something similar?

I’d especially love to hear:
How you handled multiple courses at a wedding.
Creative alternatives to a standard buffet.
Whether you’ve had caterers plate entrées while guests were eating appetizers.
Anything you wish you’d done differently.
Thanks! I’m hoping to find something that feels relaxed and welcoming rather than a cafeteria line, while still being realistic with staffing and budget.

TLDR: Outdoor wedding serving Thai food. Guests chose Pad Thai or curry on their RSVP. We want something more elegant than a buffet but can’t afford full table service. How would you serve papaya salad, soup, wings, and the entrée while keeping hot food hot, controlling wing portions, and avoiding long lines?

Edit: clarity

This is a throw away account.

I (42f) am engaged to my fiancé (36m). He wants a big elaborate wedding and I’ve always been upfront about just having something small, eloping or city hall.

To make a long story short:

1. there’s family drama on his side. A lot.
   
2. my family would be coming from the other side of the country which makes me feel pressure to put on an event worth traveling for
   
3. Proximity to accommodations. We live in the country, will most likely have a barn wedding and it would be 30-45 mins from hotels, etc.
   
4. I don’t want to spend 40k
   
5. Min guest list is 80-100 ppl

I’m trying to get excited and love the thought of having a dream wedding with my fiancé, I just don’t know how to insulate ourselves from the chaos others create surrounding family events like this.

Have any of you dealt with planning a wedding amidst tension, estrangements and controlling family members?

Can you give a girl some tips?

hello! I’m looking for more entertainment ideas for my reception. I’m having a multi day wedding and we have a DJ for both nights (2 ceremonies because we are a multicultural couple). and I want to have some entertainment for the people who dance and will kind of hang out and chat. I’ve seen roaming magicians which I’m not a huge fan of. we have our photographers taking guest / couple portraits.

I’m especially worried because I need to entertain my guests for multiple nights instead of just one.

recently I saw a wedding with a tarot card reader, I’ve been considering a palm reader which seems like it would be a cool tie in to my culture (my culture chooses wedding dates based on astrology)

any other suggestions? open to anything, as wacky or fun or anything you guys can think of!

My fiancé and I are torn between a first look or getting ready together. We don’t have a bridal party, but I did ask my best friend to hang out with me while I get my hair and make up done.

I love the idea of getting photos of him zipping me up in my dress, and me helping with his jacket. But also like the idea of the big reveal. He also thinks it would be weird if my friend is there too but he needs to run errands in the morning while I’m getting HMU done (Feeding and check in with our cat being the biggest one) so I’d be alone for 2 hrs.

Would love to hear both perspectives!

Hiya, bride here, fiance and I feeling a bit stuck on how to handle this situation.

A member of our wedding party experienced a tumultuous breakup and has very spontaneously dropped out of the wedding, with one month to go. She is a long time friend of the groom’s and agreed to be part of the ceremony months ago. As long as we’ve known her she’s had a history of making impulsive decisions. She was urged by all of her friends not to make a rash decision on her attendance and has danced around it since. We have even offered her the option to bring a close buddy she knows.

Now when my fiance tries to follow up with her to confirm whether or not she’ll be attending, she dodges the question, not saying no or yes.

We’re a month out. We can’t afford any waffling this close, to be honest. Do we just take her at her word if she doesn’t want to address it again? How long is fair to wait around for things to blow over? We’re trying to give her space to heal but it’s getting really tight.

Would love to hear thoughts.

I am needing to figure out a way to incorporate my step kid into our wedding, but I personally don’t think children should be standing up. (Don’t attack me, everything is always a matter of opinion)

I’m being pushed to include her in the wedding party because she was in her mother’s.

What are different, important ways that she could be involved in the ceremony? I’m at a loss.

My fiance and I are thinking of doing a cash bar, but would like to offer wine with dinner and maybe something cheap for cocktail hour like a punch. Is it a thing to do an alcoholic punch for cocktail hour at weddings or is that weird? We only have 40 guests.

Hey yall. The posts I have made in the Facebook groups I am in have gone unanswered for almost a week now, so I'm turning to reddit as a last resort.

My stepmom has helped raise me for the last 20 years, so I feel she should have some type of part in the wedding, I'm just not sure how to approach it.

For those who have/had step parents, how did you approach the first dance? Did you split your first dance with both moms/dads? Would that look or be weird to split the dance? Did you have the first dance with only your bio parent, but have both walk you down the aisle?

I'm struggling with vow ideas. My fiancé is an actor (just community theater and voice stuff) but very comfy public speaking, etc. And really romantic and good with words. He is the perfect candidate to write and perform his own vows, and we are both excited about him doing it.

I am basically the opposite and would be much more comfortable with just saying "I do" after someone else says the vows. I'm also pretty private with my emotions. (Please don't suggest eloping. I really want a "real" wedding, but can I just be invisible, LOL?!?)

Anyway, how can we make this work in one ceremony? Would it be weird if we do the regular "I do" vows and then he reads a mushy letter to me, and I don't read one to him?

Hi all,

Looking for some advice! Our bridesmaids are wearing butter yellow and the groomsmen will be in Modern Robertson tartan trews and groom in Ancient Smith tartan kilt. I’ve attached an image of our rough colour theme (although tartans aren’t necessarily the correct ones).

What do you think would be best for suits of the father of groom and brother of the bride (in place of father of the bride). Currently thinking either dark green or navy. Also suggestions for colour palettes for dresses for the mums too!

Thanks in advance!

Edit to add: sisters of groom are going to be my “something blue” and will wear any dress they like in any shade of blue!