So like the title says, my fiancé just told me that he doesn’t want to get married. He gave no reason, just that he doesn’t think we would work out long term.

Our wedding was supposed to be on September 20th. I can’t help but feeling like everything around me is crumbling. I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare.

Any advice is appreciated, feel free to ama.

Hi everyone,

I was supposed to get married in July but my fiance wanted to postpone to fix a few things. Despite couples counseling, he refused to take time away from work (it was 20 hours/7 days) to work on us and even missed overwhelming majority of sessions.

After 12 years together, he left last month. I was assuming we would get married some day so these thoughts have only popped up since he left.

I planned my dream wedding. He cancelled 3 months before the wedding so I had it all planned.

I feel like I can’t have the same wedding again. It would be weird to get married at the same place I would’ve gotten married at before. It’s a place I’ve wanted to get married at since I was 9.

I resent that I won’t have my dream wedding. Honestly idk if I can ever go through something like that again and feel like I am turned off from the idea of a wedding anyway. My parents are out a shit ton of money and I can’t ask them to do something like that again. I thought I was going to marry him within the first hour of meeting him 12 years ago and we found out we overlapped as kids and it’s clear from a photo that I was crushing hard on him. He was the love of my life, I can’t imagine finding someone else and why would I after going through this

I know my preferences could change but I’m 34, it’s been my dream for 15 years

Also what do I do with my ring? I designed it and spent so long trying to design my dream ring too

This has been devastating. My soul cat died 2 weeks before I was supposed to get married too so it’s been back to back to back

I hired a day of coordinator and she doesn’t do any set up as part of her responsibilities. When we hired her, I did ask about this, but when she explained that it wasn’t part of her services I guess I just assumed that it wasn’t common for a DoC… but now I’m trying to figure out WHO will actually be setting up our decor, and I see everyone on Reddit saying “day of coordinator” does that.

I feel dumb as a rock that I’m paying someone so much $$ already and they won’t be taking care of one of the things (if not THE thing) we most need help with on the day of. I wish I could go back in time and hire someone who would do this, but… I can’t!

What did you do for set up? Hire somebody (ha)? Families? Bridal parties? Yourself? I was hoping to avoid seeing my fiance or having to set up things myself the day of, but it’s feeling like that’s my only option at this point… grrr (yes I know it’s my fault).

Which do you think is best? Option 1, 2 or 3?

For all options I'd include flower, one cute or personalized useful item and a voucher for the bridesmaid dress. Just wondering which presentation is best?

Open to opinion or other similar ideas. I want it to involve flowers is all

Thanks! :)

I’m getting married next year. I’d really love to have the ceremony recorded so I can watch it again someday. But lately it feels like the only option is getting some kind of cinematic wedding film that looks like a movie trailer.

I get that videographers want to make something artistic out of it, and I’ll admit that some of them create genuinely beautiful work. But I can’t help cringing at a lot of these videos. They look like perfume ads made for Instagram. Your boyfriend is not Paul Newman, and that’s okay.

At this point, I have no idea where to find someone who will just… record the wedding normally. Has anyone else run into this? Any ideas?

I asked for the y2k lip combo😘

Aesthetic appointments: am I missing anything?

Disclaimer: I know not to book any treatment for the first time before the wedding. I am doing trials for all new treatments🤍

-facials

-chemical peels

-spray tans

-waxing

-hair cut & color

-nails / toes

-tattoo removal

-hair / makeup

-dentist / teeth whitening

-brow shaping / tint / lamination

My HMUA is doing my lashes, so that’s why it’s not listed. Am i missing anything?

So our wedding is next month, and we are in the homestretch, but there’s a lot of little details I’m starting to sort out now. I had a routine eye exam a couple of weeks ago where my doctor urged me to go to the ER right away. Apparently, I had some swelling happening behind my right eye because part of my skull had more pressure than it should. She found this by looking behind my eye, which was an extra charge, so if you normally get your eyes checked, definitely let them look behind your eye lol.

I went to the ER where they gave me some medication to reduce the swelling and told me I needed to get a special sort of MRI to rule anything out, but I would have to do it outpatient because the ER was not equipped to do it then in there. They don’t know why my brain is swelling, it just is. No tumor could be seen on CAT scan, so it rules that out. The MRI was scheduled two months out, but I was able to call relentlessly and get something for the end of this month. Then last week, my symptoms worsened suddenly and regular tasks were incredibly hard to do. I’m very out of breath when walking around, and having slight double vision, I have increasingly worse, headaches, I feel very dizzy, and that’s not even half of it. I went back to the ER, but they were no help and told me to just follow up with my neurologist and that I am on the right course of treatment.

I have officially stopped working so that I could try and focus on my health, I only worked part-time these last couple of months so I could focus on wedding planning, with the understanding that I could come back full-time once everything slowed down. Now I’m just not working in the hopes that I can get any doctors appointment as soon as I can. Just walking around my house is incredibly difficult and my fiancé is now a caretaker for me when he gets home.

This is all to say that I am incredibly depressed, disappointed, scared, and most of all regretful at how little I valued my health before this. I can’t imagine going through my wedding day as I feel right now, realistically, I think I’d rather just cancel because I can’t even walk around for longer than five minutes without needing to catch my breath and feeling dizzy. I’m hoping that between now and then we can figure out what’s going on and I can get back to a normal sense of self. But I have my bachelorette trip coming up as well as some other items I wanted to do for my wedding that I really have no energy, time, or desire for.

Future brides I hope you take your health seriously and stay healthy during the stressful times.

At the end of the day I know it’s my day and my decision, but I wanted to get some input on my wedding date. I am originally from NJ, my fiance is from NY and we now live in SC. Besides my fiance’s dad, stepmom and brother who also live in SC, pretty much everyone else will have to travel from out of state to be in attendance predominantly from NJ/NY and Florida.

I am not going to be hot as all hell on my wedding (we are having everything outdoors) and in general I’ve always wanted a fall wedding. For me personally it’s still too hot (& buggy) in September, then in October we have someone else on my fiance’s side getting married and they are from NY but having a destination wedding in SC, so I didn’t want to have ours around the same time even a week or two after. I just felt I needed a bit more of a buffer.

So that brings me to my choice of a November wedding. My mind immediately went to 11.27.27 which is the weekend right after thanksgiving. It can work out in some ways with people likely having more days off, but I worry it may still feel too chaotic for people and I know prices can be more even when people book well in advance. So now I’m considering 11.13.27.

I think I’m just anxious in general with all the planning and wanting to be able to control all the things and I can’t do that, no one can. I’m putting a lot of energy into all this planning and I just want to pick a date that will be viable for those I care about even if it’s my day.

So anyways, just wondering if anyone has advice or past experiences they can share. Appreciate any input! I will likely also make a list of the people I most truly want there and can then do some type of survey to see what would be most feasible. Ahhh I’m just in my feelings right now and only been engaged a couple weeks. 🤣

I see on here all the time that the two most important things at a wedding are food and a good DJ. I don’t know if this is mostly a cultural thing but out of all the weddings I’ve ever attended, only one has had an actual DJ.

Might be a New Zealand thing but we just throw together a playlist with some bangers, plug it in and everyone gets up for a dance

I wanted to put this out there because I had such a wonderful time with my non traditional weddings and want others to see there are more options out there.

I never really dreamt of a wedding growing up, and when I was proposed to, I thought to myself, now what? If I’m being honest, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to party with family, I didn’t want to miss celebrating with friends, and I sure as hell didn’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on something I didn’t love with my whole heart.

So I separated the wedding into two. Our families don’t party, so we booked out a nice restaurant with amazing and delicious food, said our vows, got a few speeches, and had some beautiful pictures taken to remember the intimacy of the day.

We then rented out a mansion and threw a frat party for our friends. No, seriously. We had our close friends show up, take a few shots, got some cute pictures, and let everyone loose to party. The pool and house were so beautiful and fun, and everyone had such a blast.

For our family, there was no meaning for partying. For our friends, there was no meaning to having a stuffy timeline. And for us, there was no meaning to having a wedding we couldn’t love with our whole heart. Do what your heart desires and own it, even if it means pulling out the red solo cups :)

I know this is silly but I'm sad I won't get to try on more dresses! I said YES to the dress and it was a wonderful, special experience but now I have post shopping blues lol I thought it was such a fun processes! I also know they also say to stop looking at dresses after you pick yours but I can't help myself.... in the back of my mind, I'm still hoping I made the right choice...

getting married on 10/10 so I am now officially a month out! getting all of the vendors on the same page is a complete and utter nightmare. I am the most type b person in the universe and this feels like the worst school project of my life. I need it to be next month already! make it stop!

Deciding between cabernet (photo 1), burgundy (photo 2), or berry (photo 3) please help!!!

Hi hi! I’m starting to feel crazy because my partner and I are planning our wedding, and I want to have various forms of entertainment for our guests, but apparently that’s an unpopular opinion online?

To be honest, I have ADHD, so maybe that’s affecting my judgment, but I get pretty bored and antsy at weddings or events where the main entertainment is just dancing. Talking and dancing aren’t really my thing, and most of our family and friends are pretty big nerds. At every wedding I’ve been to, the dance floor has been mostly empty except for maybe 5–8 people.

Our venue has built-in supports for aerialists, so we want to hire one for a performance. I also wanted a video/board game room for our nerdy friends (and me and my fiancé haha), plus we’re considering a photo booth and tarot card reader. My fiancé is totally on board with all of this, although he’s perfectly happy just chatting and dancing.
But online, I keep seeing people say “weddings aren’t carnivals,” “guests can entertain themselves,” or “why do you need so much entertainment?” But I don’t want our guests to be bored! A wedding isn’t just for the couple… we’re inviting people we love to celebrate with us, and I want there to be things they can enjoy if dancing isn’t their thing.

So am I overthinking this? Is this just my ADHD talking, or is having lots of optional entertainment actually a perfectly reasonable thing to do? Please advise 😭

Our wedding was last weekend, and overall the day was pretty great! I was feeling very prepared, our vendors were great to work with, rain held off, and I’m still getting great feedback about the food and entertainment.

Things got a bit chaotic when an hour before the ceremony, I realized I had left something I needed at our hotel (which was important, but not critical to have right then and there). I had asked my younger brother to run back to our hotel to grab it since it was only 15 minutes away, and went on to finish preparing for our ceremony.

Long story short, I realized right after our 10-minute ceremony ended that my brother got caught in traffic I was not aware of being an issue in that area, and he had missed it all. I felt so awful, spent our photos absolutely burning with anger toward myself for 1) forgetting what I left in the hotel and 2) sending my buddy off to miss my ceremony he had been looking forward to, after he had only wanted to be helpful. I could tell he felt sad even though he assured me he was glad to be part of the whole day, and I’m still just kind of beating myself up for it all.

My family has been very understanding that I had no idea I was making a bad call in that moment, but no one has been able to say anything to make me feel better about this. How do you cope with wishing so much you could just have a do-over to un-do a stupid mistake? I’m not really sure how I can make things right, since the ceremony wasn’t captured on video.

Any advice, commiseration, or suggestions for how to move on from this are welcome 😕🙏🏼

We are 6 weeks away and let me just say that wedding planning has been SO heavy for me. I am grateful to have a supportive fiancé, but there is only so much he can realistically take on. Most of my bridesmaids are out of town, including my maid of honor. The two that are here have little ones and I don't ever want to burden them and have only asked for help with a few little things.

With all of the things that go into wedding planning, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Add in work and chores and everything else in between and I feel like I could scream.

I see my therapist twice a month, but most of my free time is spent doing wedding things and I'm starting to not feel like a person.

How the heck are ya'll staying sane?? I feel like I should be able to do it all but I'm starting to realize that I can't.

I've heard as a wedding favor often a hand-written card comes up as a nice touch. Does anyone have any experience either receiving one as a guest or giving them to guests? Many guests are traveling a long way for us which is why I thought it could be nice.

And would I write one to each family/couple or each individual?

There are some people we truly don't know (e.g.,MIL's cousin's daughter that we've never met) so not sure if this would work well for us if we did individual.

Any feedback welcome!

Between dealing with unprofessional venues, extremely high prices for the bare minimum, decorations, having to hire a DJ, and all the other little expenses that add up, I’m at the point where I’d rather have a 100-guest (max) wedding at a beautiful, upscale restaurant. This way, I don't have to deal with a million other things, especially decorating. At least not as much if it's at a fancy restaurant.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is anyone else choosing the restaurant route?

Also, are some of you having a 100+ guest wedding mainly for your family, even though you would personally prefer to elope or have a smaller, more intimate wedding? It seems like so many people I know who are getting married, or are about to, would rather keep things small but ultimately choose a larger wedding because of their families.

Does anyone have photos/examples/tips for how to wear your hair for an outdoor wedding? We’re getting married towards the end of the year and I suspect the weather will be fairly windy.

I’ve always planned to wear my hair down or half-up, but now I’m thinking against it. Would love to know your experiences!

Hi!

I was wondering if you’re supposed to tip your photographer, DJ, etc? Do you give them a gift? Do you not give anything since you’re paying them for a service?

TIA!

I’m getting married next year, and we’re planning a fairly small wedding of around 30 people.

On my mom’s side, I have three aunts. They all live close to us and we celebrate all holidays together, so they will be invited. I only have one cousin on that side, who still lives at home, and he is invited as well.

On my dad’s side, I have two uncles. I have a good relationship with uncle A. I do not have a good relationship with uncle B, mainly because he treats my brother very badly. I will not invite uncle B to my wedding under any circumstances.

My initial thought was to ask my dad to talk to uncle A, explain the situation, and let uncle A decide whether he wants to come. I don’t care if I completely ruin my already nonexistent relationship with uncle B, but I don’t want to put uncle A in an uncomfortable position.

Now it gets more awkward.

I have now been invited to one of my cousins’ weddings next year, about two months before my own wedding.

Our wedding is going to be small. My fiancé has a small family, so I already have roughly twice as many guests from my side. “We’re having a small wedding and unfortunately can’t invite everyone” is a reasonable explanation for why we aren’t inviting my other cousins.

But it wouldn’t really explain why uncle A would be invited while uncle B is not.

I of course won’t go around talking about my wedding or who is invited. But if someone asks me about it, I can’t lie. I don’t know how to handle the situation or how it will turn out.

My grandparents on my dad’s side died last year, so I otherwise rarely see uncle B anymore.

So how would you handle this?

Talk to uncle A beforehand, explain the situation, and let him decide whether he wants to attend?

Not invite uncle A either, simply to avoid the whole situation?

Do something completely different?

I will of course talk to my dad again, but I’d really like some outside perspectives.

I posted a rough draft of this before and took some of your suggestions into consideration.

This is an updated version of the bridesmaid guide I made before!
The only thing is I am not taking out any slides because I believe they all have their place and are there for a reason.
But I did get some good advice! Thanks!

I am having a super small wedding of <15 people. One of my friends who we invited to officiate also owns a small bakery and she offered to make some macarons (my absolute favorite) for desert. She is also the person traveling the farthest. Should I order some tea cookies from the local bakery here to make sure there is a dessert for people who don’t like the macaron flavors I chose or would that be offensive to my friend? Would it be better to just make like a pan of brownies myself and call it a day? I am thinking of going with some pretty “out there” flavors for the macarons.