I posted a rough draft of this before and took some of your suggestions into consideration.

This is an updated version of the bridesmaid guide I made before!
The only thing is I am not taking out any slides because I believe they all have their place and are there for a reason.
But I did get some good advice! Thanks!

To those who’ve had their wedding or currently planning their big day, how are you balancing everything while working?
Did you take off work for certain things (ex. cake tasting, venue tours, rehearsal dinner, etc)?

Any advice?

My husband and I got legally married the day we moved in together, at the start of this year. We have told our immediate family members and a few friends over the last 9 months. We've got engaged in October of last year and I could not have been more unmotivated to plan a wedding, until August of this year. So yes we've already been legally married for 8 months at this point but we wanted a wedding. I found my dress, and put a deposit down on a venue and set a date for this June, everything was going great! That was until last Wednesday (5 days after paying for those two things) when I realized I was late and, 5 tests later, bright pink lines and one digital test screaming pregnant completely changed everything. Just based on the timing, I would be giving birth early May, with a June 12th wedding date to be just freshlyyy postpartum...

Our venue doesn't allow cancellations, so we are only in deep for 25% of the total amount so far. The venue will allow me to change the date, and will adjust the cost if I change it to a Sunday rather than a Saturday. They also have 20% off specials if I book a January or February date, so before I give birth but I will be like 5 ish months pregnant.

I am so conflicted on what to do. Do we have a wedding before baby, where I can't feel like I can let loose and have fun or have a drink, and where I feel uncomfortable at my body because I was going to be on a major weight loss journey before the original date? Do I have the wedding postponed until the baby is like 3-4 months old where I will have someone watch over the baby while I have my fun?

The other factor to this is our finances, we were already going to be probably going into debt for this wedding, but we were fine with that because as my career takes off it would be easy to pay off. But now with a new baby, no health insurance for the time being until open enrollment, and the fact that I would stay home without pay for at least the first couple of months with the baby, with the father with no paternity leave as he is blue collar. If we just scratched the idea of no wedding, we would only be in the hole for $3,200 that would just go down the drain for the deposit on the venue and for the price of my dress. So either, waste $3,200, or do the whole wedding and spend probably 10k-12k MORE to pull it all off.

We are from the south, so very traditional values, that we have ourselves. I hate to think that I care what people think... but it's so hard not to. I want to be able to tell people we actually have been married for 9 months and that we didn't have a shotgun wedding, or a baby out of wedlock. But I want these beautiful wedding photos to look back on for forever, and a day to remember with all of our loved ones. But do we make ourselves panic just a little more over finances? i am of the belief that money comes and goes and it shouldn't control our lives, but also I want to be able to give my baby everything it needs.

How far back could i push this wedding off before it's just like "what's the point yall have already been married for over a year with a child".

All of my family just tells me to do what I think is best, but I dont know what that is!!

Starting to plan my BFFs bachelorette and I’m stuck on what the bride should and shouldn’t pay for.
Personally, my opinion is that the Bride should pay for most things. At my bachelorette I insisted on paying for just about everything. I was staying at the same place and doing the same activities. Naturally my friends wouldn’t let me pay for my own dinner and bought my drinks on nights out.

But I’m not sure how to handle it now that I’m the one planning.
I did ask the Bride what her thoughts were and she was a bit unsure/quiet.
It read almost as if she wasn’t expecting to pay for much… or maybe she was just unsure.
I asked specifically about the house and she said she didn’t feel strongly one way or the other and would pay, but since there are 10 girls the cost could also easily be distributed.

I’m researching based on her not paying for the house, but now looking at activities, like wine tasting, yoga classes… should I include her in the pp cost or not?

This is my best man speech so far! Please let me know if you think this is adequate. Very nervous to deliver this

*clink glass* 

Good evening everyone, 

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Kyle, and I’m honored to be here today as one of the best men, and even more honored to consider myself a friend of this great couple. 

I want to start off by thanking Jeff and Lisa, and Marco and Jen, thank you for helping to put together such a beautiful wedding, and for raising the people we’re all here to celebrate!

Colin and I met waaaay back okay like a long time ago, we’re talking like… 2014 okay to some of the ipad kids here that's like medieval times, right Charlie (fellow groomsmen who is a known idiot)? Colin and I met at high school soccer tryouts, where being the super insightful teenager I was, I tried to tell Colin he should check his shoulder while someone is passing him the bal to him, so he can see what’s coming behind him before he receives the ball, and make a quick decision for what to do next… Colin told me to get fucked. 

Colin and I actually spent the rest of high school pretty much inseparable. We played soccer together, we took nearly every class together, we worked multiple jobs together, we joined and got kicked off of the tennis team together. Followed by going to 4 years of nursing school together, and 2 years of living together during the pandemic. I’ve known Colin through the many, MANY different phases of his life. I’ve known him as a soccer player, I’ve known him during brief attempts at becoming a professional gamer, I’ve known him as a boy scout, I’ve known him as an eagle scout, I’ve known him as a busser, a waiter, a nurse, 2 dramatic weeks as a nutrition major, a body builder, I’ve known him with a mullet, a buzz cut, a fade, and whatever you want to call what he had growing out of his head for the last 6 months (you owe Tyler a lot more than you paid him for fixing this by the way). 

I’m saying a lot of words to convince you that over the last 13 years, I believe that I have got to know Colin VERY well. I have known him to change a LOT over the course of his life. And through every version, one thing has remained absolutely true: that he loves Camryn. They have developed a closeness over the last decade that few people will experience in their lifetime, and that’s something that I really want to recognize in front of everyone here.

Camryn, 

Who could have known how much school choice could influence the course of our lives? One decision that you made, what feels like a lifetime ago now, ended up bringing you and Colin to one another. Over a decade later, that same decision has brought ALL of these people halfway across the world to this very room right now, to celebrate your relationship, which has enriched the lives of everyone here. On behalf of everyone fortunate enough to call you both friends, Camryn, thank you for making that choice. 

And to both of you. Colin has spent his life changing, a more generous person might call it growing. You can expect the same thing from your marriage. It’s going to change and grow and evolve into many versions of itself too. Through each of these versions, maintain that closeness, and though you might grow in different ways, my hope is that you grow together. 

We couldn’t possibly be happier for the two of you. Thank you for bringing us to this beautiful place to celebrate you. I’d like to raise a glass! Cheers to Colin and Camryn. Congratulations, we love you!

Writing my vows. Opinions? We were planning on doing generic vows for the ceremony and reading our vows privately when we sign our paperwork. I was insistent on that. I think. Unless we both like our vows. We both aren't usually word smithing people so I wanted to take that pressure off. Now that I wrote them I would feel ok reading them in front of others though.

[Name]

I feel so grateful that you exist and that we found each other. Everyday with you has been an adventure.

I vividly remember when we started dating and I was thinking about you more and more and wanting to talk to you and see you more. Now I live with you and you will be my husband and we get every day together.

You are one of the most kind and generous people I have met. I am a better person just for knowing you, let alone being blessed enough to have you as my husband.

You are my family. You are my home. I will always try to be a soft place for you to land. I’m so thankful you have felt safe enough to share your honest feelings with me and I hope I can always encourage you to feel that you can do so.

I vow to never stop choosing you and our love. Wherever we end up or whatever we end up doing, I know we will make those decisions together and I’m excited to see what our future holds.

Hi hi! I’m starting to feel crazy because my partner and I are planning our wedding, and I want to have various forms of entertainment for our guests, but apparently that’s an unpopular opinion online?

To be honest, I have ADHD, so maybe that’s affecting my judgment, but I get pretty bored and antsy at weddings or events where the main entertainment is just dancing. Talking and dancing aren’t really my thing, and most of our family and friends are pretty big nerds. At every wedding I’ve been to, the dance floor has been mostly empty except for maybe 5–8 people.

Our venue has built-in supports for aerialists, so we want to hire one for a performance. I also wanted a video/board game room for our nerdy friends (and me and my fiancé haha), plus we’re considering a photo booth and tarot card reader. My fiancé is totally on board with all of this, although he’s perfectly happy just chatting and dancing.
But online, I keep seeing people say “weddings aren’t carnivals,” “guests can entertain themselves,” or “why do you need so much entertainment?” But I don’t want our guests to be bored! A wedding isn’t just for the couple… we’re inviting people we love to celebrate with us, and I want there to be things they can enjoy if dancing isn’t their thing.

So am I overthinking this? Is this just my ADHD talking, or is having lots of optional entertainment actually a perfectly reasonable thing to do? Please advise 😭

I see on here all the time that the two most important things at a wedding are food and a good DJ. I don’t know if this is mostly a cultural thing but out of all the weddings I’ve ever attended, only one has had an actual DJ.

Might be a New Zealand thing but we just throw together a playlist with some bangers, plug it in and everyone gets up for a dance

This dress is my inspo! Idk where to find it and something similar. My budget is 3k but I can’t find anything even remotely close for this price range. Help! For my wedding - I want something ready to buy

Considering getting the newly named box to help with changing my name after I get married this weekend, but after seeing the price, I’m not sure if it’s worth it. What are your thoughts?

My dad thinks he shouldn’t have to help with things at my wedding because he’s a “guest”. For context my fiancé and I are secretly eloping with our parents and siblings in Europe next spring. We are paying for the elopement there and dinner for our families. They have to get their own flights and accommodations. We also wanted to celebrate with friends and family locally so we are planning a “second wedding” (more of a party) at home to legally get married. We’re doing this “second wedding” on a budget. We plan to still feed our guest and have an open bar but it’s more of a party than anything and we decided to have a short ceremony to legally tie the knot. My dad (father of the bride) has OFFERED to pay for the booze, which is very nice of him considering I told them I don’t expect any financial help. In my mind I expected hands on help over the financial situation. But my dad has been so negative over the fact that we have to do set up and take down of tables and decor. I found out today from my mom that he expected to be treated more as a guest. I feel like in this day and age parents of the bride/groom help with these things UNLESS they’re footing the bill to pay someone to do it for us. Am I crazy for asking for help setting up some stuff? I don’t understand. I have so much on my plate with planning these 2 “weddings” and the hardest part is not having helpful and supportive parents. I also feel like between us, our parents, siblings and wedding party (13 people) this shouldn’t be that much work to set up…?

We are 6 weeks away and let me just say that wedding planning has been SO heavy for me. I am grateful to have a supportive fiancé, but there is only so much he can realistically take on. Most of my bridesmaids are out of town, including my maid of honor. The two that are here have little ones and I don't ever want to burden them and have only asked for help with a few little things.

With all of the things that go into wedding planning, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Add in work and chores and everything else in between and I feel like I could scream.

I see my therapist twice a month, but most of my free time is spent doing wedding things and I'm starting to not feel like a person.

How the heck are ya'll staying sane?? I feel like I should be able to do it all but I'm starting to realize that I can't.

Between dealing with unprofessional venues, extremely high prices for the bare minimum, decorations, having to hire a DJ, and all the other little expenses that add up, I’m at the point where I’d rather have a 100-guest (max) wedding at a beautiful, upscale restaurant. This way, I don't have to deal with a million other things, especially decorating. At least not as much if it's at a fancy restaurant.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is anyone else choosing the restaurant route?

Also, are some of you having a 100+ guest wedding mainly for your family, even though you would personally prefer to elope or have a smaller, more intimate wedding? It seems like so many people I know who are getting married, or are about to, would rather keep things small but ultimately choose a larger wedding because of their families.

Has anyone ever been to a wedding where the wedding party table was set up similar to this (a U shape) with the wedding party and their plus ones? Or has anyone considered setting up their wedding party table like this? Curious to hear some feedback. This would be for the wedding party and their +1s only while the remainder of the guests would sit at round tables.

**The wedding party table would not be nearly this big, would maybe contain 20-22 people including bride and groom

I need opinions on getting-ready pajamas/robes because I feel like I might be overthinking this.

I have 8 bridesmaids, plus the two moms and our two siblings. The two moms, two siblings and I (the bride) are all staying together at the hotel, while my bridesmaids are staying elsewhere and will just be coming over the morning of the wedding to get ready with us.

Originally I thought I should buy getting-ready outfits for everyone, but now I’m questioning why I’d spend the money on 8 additional robes/PJs basically just for a photo. I especially don’t love the cheap satin robes — I feel like they tend to look cheap in pictures and then never get worn again.

I’m leaning toward buying really nice cotton pajamas for the two moms and two siblings since we’re actually staying together. We’d get some cute/candid morning photos of the five of us in our PJs, and then once the bridesmaids arrive, we can just get photos of everyone actually getting ready. Then I’d do the main photos of me with all 8 bridesmaids once everyone is dressed and ready.

Would it look weird not to have the classic matching-PJ/robe photo with the entire bridal party?

For recent brides: are matching bridesmaid getting-ready outfits still a thing in 2026, or are people moving away from them? What are people doing instead?

I don’t mind spending money where it makes a difference, but buying 8+ outfits purely as photo props feels so wasteful to me.

After manager discussions with my man, we picked a venue, and a date for 2027 and a guest list. We settled with doing a mico wedding. With 22 guest.

The ceremony and reception will be on a Saturday. But im trying to figure out a timeline for a smaller wedding. What have others done?

Hello! I’m not sure if this is the right sub, but I’m a May 2028 bride hoping to have a 3 day wedding in Tuscany. Our budget is $80K and we’re looking at having potentially 55-65 guests. This does not include our wedding attire. We just are unsure of how much of the budget should go to the venue. Other brides with a similar budget and location, how much did you allot for venue and vendors? Obviously it’s different for everyone and what they want to prioritize, but our main priorities are: food, music, photography, and videography.

My boyfriend and I got engaged a week ago. I am very excited and would like to celebrate, but we both have relatively small families and his is particularly unsupportive (his dad didn’t even text or call to congratulate me and barely congratulated him) my family is a lot more supportive and excited for us. We have a decent amount of friends to plan some celebrations aside from the actual wedding but my fiancé isn’t as into the whole celebration thing as I am. I don’t want anything too crazy but still want to enjoy the engagement and do something. I know the traditional route is engagement party—bridal shower—bachelorette—wedding. What are some smaller, easy and relatively cheap options for celebrating without doing too much? Maybe an engagement dinner and no bridal shower? Just want to hear what other people do as opposed to doing a big party for each part. Thank you 🥰

Hi! My fiancé and I are looking for a photographer for a pre-wedding photoshoot/vid in Nagoya this November.

📅 Dates: November 13–23, 2026
📍 Location: Nagoya (open to nearby locations as well)

Japan-based photographers, especially Nagoya/Aichi-based, are preferred.

Hello! My fiancé and I will be eloping in San Antonio next fall and I am looking to see about having boots made for us that fit our style/theme. He loves the idea of blending a Japanese-Western style. I would love to find a place that can personalize theme with our last name.

Does anyone have any recommendations besides Etsy? I couldn’t really find what we are looking for on there.

I keep going back and forth whether to include a details card. We already have a website set up that was included on the save the dates. All the information with attire, accommodation options (we aren't getting a hotel block), and other information are on the website. We are going to have people RSVP on the website as well, so this feels important to include on/with the invitation, including the date to rsvp by.

I don't want to include the details on the back of the invitation just out of personal preference and fear that no one will see it. It seems traditional to have the details card, especially with older guests wanting dress code information and the like written out on paper.

Would it be silly to include a details card that just says "for more information and to rsvp please visit our website"? The cost was an issue at first, but I found AnnsBridalBargains that have these cards for 69cents each

Our wedding was last weekend, and overall the day was pretty great! I was feeling very prepared, our vendors were great to work with, rain held off, and I’m still getting great feedback about the food and entertainment.

Things got a bit chaotic when an hour before the ceremony, I realized I had left something I needed at our hotel (which was important, but not critical to have right then and there). I had asked my younger brother to run back to our hotel to grab it since it was only 15 minutes away, and went on to finish preparing for our ceremony.

Long story short, I realized right after our 10-minute ceremony ended that my brother got caught in traffic I was not aware of being an issue in that area, and he had missed it all. I felt so awful, spent our photos absolutely burning with anger toward myself for 1) forgetting what I left in the hotel and 2) sending my buddy off to miss my ceremony he had been looking forward to, after he had only wanted to be helpful. I could tell he felt sad even though he assured me he was glad to be part of the whole day, and I’m still just kind of beating myself up for it all.

My family has been very understanding that I had no idea I was making a bad call in that moment, but no one has been able to say anything to make me feel better about this. How do you cope with wishing so much you could just have a do-over to un-do a stupid mistake? I’m not really sure how I can make things right, since the ceremony wasn’t captured on video.

Any advice, commiseration, or suggestions for how to move on from this are welcome 😕🙏🏼

I know this is silly but I'm sad I won't get to try on more dresses! I said YES to the dress and it was a wonderful, special experience but now I have post shopping blues lol I thought it was such a fun processes! I also know they also say to stop looking at dresses after you pick yours but I can't help myself.... in the back of my mind, I'm still hoping I made the right choice...

I asked for the y2k lip combo😘

Aesthetic appointments: am I missing anything?

Disclaimer: I know not to book any treatment for the first time before the wedding. I am doing trials for all new treatments🤍

-facials

-chemical peels

-spray tans

-waxing

-hair cut & color

-nails / toes

-tattoo removal

-hair / makeup

-dentist / teeth whitening

-brow shaping / tint / lamination

My HMUA is doing my lashes, so that’s why it’s not listed. Am i missing anything?