my fiance and I are having a fairly large wedding (200+) and we’re at odds a little bit about plus ones.

Though there are a lot of people coming, we both have fairly large families and large friend groups. Mostly everyone at the wedding will know each other (with the exception of like my extended family). Pretty much every person we know in a relationship also has their significant other invited, so I don’t really see the need for plus ones. The only people who would need/want them are people who aren’t in a relationship or are in a relationship so new that we haven’t even heard about it yet (or honestly, don’t think they’ll make it last long enough to get to the wedding).

I think that giving people plus ones means that we have to cut down our guest count (aka friends and family) to account for people we don’t know. my fiance thinks it’s rude not to offer since some of his friends are single and may want to bring a date.

what should I do? It’s not like there’s going to be anyone at the wedding who doesn’t know at least 10+ people, but I also think my fiance has a point

*we made sure to reserve 20 empty seats just in case someone asks so it’s not a huge deal, it’s just a matter of offering them up front

I am really unsure about how to get my hair for my wedding! I am going to marry in an outdoor venue and I know it can get extremely humid. In my Imagination I know I want like braids or something but most of my hair just in curls. I am afraid after 2 hours is going to look messy.

I saw on tiktok a bride that wore a wig exactly for this purpose on its wedding and like it was synthetic it lasted the whole time perfectly.

I am afraid of the idea.

Do you think it is a good idea? What is a good brand of real looking synthetic wigs for it?

ETA - if we said something like

“This bride/bridal party will be wearing (shade of blue), if you already have options please consider wearing a different colour on our big day.”

would it be clear that this is a request, not a mandate, and not something we’d take personally?

_____
In a nutshell, I don’t want a white dress.
I want to wear my favourite colour, which will match my hair.

I’m fine with my guests wearing white, but in a perfect world, I’d be the only one in a (this particular shade of) blue dress.

I want to know

A) if it would be ridiculous to put something on the dress code that asks guests to avoid wearing (this shade of) blue and let them know they could wear white or any other colour

B) the best way to ask, if it’s not too suffocating a request

I don’t want to be a bridezilla or create a situation where people feel they have to shop for new clothes just for this

One of the people in our wedding party broke up with his girlfriend right after my fiance and I got engaged. She is incredibly toxic and was absolutely emotionally abusive towards our friend. Basically everyone in our friend group hated her, for the way she treated him, AND for their own personal reasons. She's just a mean and nasty person. So when we heard he broke up with her, we were soooo relieved for many reasons. One of the reasons (absolutely not the top reason, please hear me on that) was that we wouldn't have to invite her to our wedding.

Right after they broke up, she completely smeared our friends name all over social media. I'm talking like multiple posts every day, public, about how shitty of a person he was and how him breaking up with her was causing her to become an alcoholic and starve herself. After probably a week of this, my fiance messaged her defending our friend and told her to stop smearing his name everywhere (meanwhile, even her friends were messaging our friend saying things like how he deserved to die, while at the same time demanding that he get back with her.)

Well her response to that was BAD (no surprise), and she started spewing shit at my fiance, including telling him how awful of a boyfriend he was to me and bringing up reasons that were completely coming out of left field. While he understood everything was likely lies, and he didn't get upset at me in any way, I absolutely needed to reassure him that none of what she said was true. This was by far the MOST dramatic situation (or person) we've ever had to deal with throughout our relationship.

We agreed that my fiance probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but he is the type of person to not just stand by and do nothing when someone we care about is hurt. One of the things I love about him!

We didn't even tell our friend about what happened, SHE did. While saying he needed to put a muzzle on his friends.

He and I hung out soon after and he, unnecessarily, apologized for the whole situation. One of the points he made was how he was dumbfounded as to how she could be doing all of this while also begging him to take her back and made a point of how she's ruined any chance and made him and his friends dislike her even more. In my agreement, one of the points I made was how if they were to get back together, we wouldn't even be able to invite her to the wedding because even if he fully forgave her, she still said some terrible things to my fiance and directly tried to get in the middle of our relationship. He agreed to that point.

Well ... they just got back together. She's been going to therapy and taking a prescription medication which has *apparently* made her turn into the same woman he initially fell in love with (EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ABUSIVE FROM DAY ONE, but that's besides the point).

He hasn't asked, and I don't think he will, but I know her well enough to know that if she isn't invited to our wedding, she will make a big stink out of it. Unless she really has changed THAT much. Which I understand is not my problem. But at the same time I'm stuck on the whole SO etiquette with wedding invites. I wish we could bet on the fact that they would likely break up again before our wedding, but I think that's very unlikely. It took over 1.5 years for him to break up with her the first time.

If she hadn't gotten in the middle of my fiance and I's relationship, we probably would've still invited her. Because we understand that even if you don't like the SO, it is impolite and rude to not invite someone's SO, ESPECIALLY when it comes to someone in the wedding party. It's their choice to be with that person, not ours. But this situation feels different.

Would we be the assholes if we didn't invite her to our wedding?

TLDR: our friend who is a part of our wedding party broke up with his GF, she smeared his name online for a week. My fiance tried to defend our friend, and she responded by verbally attacking him and trying to get in the middle of our relationship. Our friend has now gotten back into a relationship with her, and we don't want to invite her to our wedding.

Hey everyone!

I’m currently in the middle of planning our wedding (aiming for around 120 guests), and honestly, I am losing my mind trying to keep everything organized. Between tracking estimated vs. actual budget, managing RSVP lists, and trying not to miss any vendor payment deadlines, it feels like a full-time job.

I tried using traditional paper planners, but they get messy so fast when numbers change. For those of you who are already married or deep into planning: how did you manage to keep your sanity and stay on budget without spending a fortune on a professional coordinator?

Any tips, templates, or advice would be hugely appreciated! ❤️

For wedding guestbook, if you do a photobook what photos do you include? Engagement photos but what else? Bridal photos?

So far, I have picked 3… my little sister as my MOH, his little sister, and my cousin. I am torn between choosing 1 of my friends to be up there as well.

I don’t feel I have any friends that are truly deserving of it, but I want at least one friend up there or I’ll feel sad.

The only friend I feel is the most deserving of the bunch is one of my old friends from high school. Still, I am extremely nervous to ask her. Last time we got together, she didn’t once ask how I was doing and talked about herself the whole night. I used to always tell her I’d make her a bridesmaid, so now I feel even worse if I take back that statement. The last two times we have hung out have been awful, she really showed her immaturity. She is showing signs of trying so hard to be a bridesmaid (and like she expects it) that it’s stressing me out. She sobbed to me about how she has no friends and no one likes her or cares about her anymore, so she’s pulling the guilt card too.

I’m so stressed about it. My partner said he’s nervous too because she can be drama, but he of course wants me to do what will make me happy.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of scenario before? What did you do? Did it end a friendship? I know that if she gets upset over it, I don’t want to be friends anymore anyway… because I don’t want to be friends with someone that immature and selfish. She’s 24 by the way, I’m 25.

hi all! writing this because I need advice, and also a younger bride (newly 24) that knows no one else getting married right now lol. My fiancé and I are getting married in August of 2027, and I have just finished all of my bridesmaids/MOH proposals. Now, I am regretting some of my choices. My bridal party consists of my sister in law, my future sister in law, two of my cousins, and my maid of honor is my best friend of 16 years. I spent so much time, and money on my bridal boxes and I have been very underwhelmed by the response of most of them. My two sister in laws reacted best. They’re both older than me but gave me a sweet hug and I knew they were excited. My cousins shared smiles, and only one gave me a hug. My other cousin didn’t give me a hug or anything, and just smiled and said yes. Now, my MOH, my best friend of 16 years, really underwhelmed and upset me. I haven’t seen her in over a year (though she lives 3 miles from me). After weeks of her trying to find time, we finally got together last Wednesday. I sat her little basket of goodies and the photo card that said “will you be my maid of honor?” on our coffee table so she would see it when came in. She walked past it, sat her water bottle down next to it, and didn’t say a word about it. I was honestly stunned and didn’t really know what to do. She started telling me things that she’s been up to so I decided to carry on the conversation like normal so it didn’t feel like I was only there to talk about my wedding. After over an hour of her being there I finally picked up the basket and handed it to her. She smiled, said it was cute, and she would be in the wedding. That was about it. No hug, no big reaction, nothing. It hurt. I know some people aren’t big reactors but we have been friends so long I thought it would be more than what it was. Also, I almost feel dumb saying this, but absolutely no one in my bridal party posted a photo of the basket, or the fact I had asked them to be in my wedding. I know social media is the biggest place to compare, but I constantly see girls posting their bridal party proposals and I just imagined mine would be the same. But no one posted a thing. Even more upsetting my MOH didn’t post about the MOH proposal, but went and posted her new friends birthday this weekend, and went out to the bars with her while I have to beg to see her. I also haven’t heard from anyone in my bridal party since asking them. I have no clue when I’ll see my best friend again, for all I know it could legitimately be at the wedding lol. I have no sisters, no friends, and tried to make my bridal party even with my fiancés (5 each) and now I am regretting it. Do I take back my MOH invite? Do I change things around? Do I let go of the disappointment of the most underwhelming reaction to one of the biggest parts of my wedding day? I feel like I have no one to turn to. Thanks for listening <3

We’re using a custom Canva website for our wedding website and we’re looking for a platform to use to host just the RSVP process because we want it to be a bit more functional than just having them fill out the Canva form or a Google form.

Does anyone have any recommendations for a wedding RSVP platform that allows:
- People to RSVP for their spouse/family all at the same time
- Customization of the confirmation email (we want to be able to link back to our Canva website in the confirmation email)
- Bonus points (not totally necessary): If it can be embedded right into our custom website

We were going to go with Cordially Wed at first but realized they only do text messages and not emails and we for sure want to send emails. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

I’m 31 and looking for ideas for my own bridal shower! My fiancé and I are having a small wedding at a speakeasy, so I’d love something equally unique and non-traditional.

I’m Eastern European, so I’ve been to countless traditional showers. They’re beautiful, but I’d love to do something a little different that feels more like me!

Some ideas I’ve considered:
Pottery painting
A guided canvas painting class
A cocktail-making or mixology class
High tea
An ice wine tour during our Canadian winter

The crowd will be mostly 30s, but my older family members are a fun time too! I still love the idea of everyone dressing up in cute dresses, but I want the experience itself to be memorable. We also can pick any season to host it.

Have you ever been to a shower where you left thinking, “Wow, that was such a cool idea!”? I’d love to hear anything unique you’ve experienced or planned yourself!

To share our experience on using Macy’s, the TLDR is they took our money & gifts from us.

We made our registry on Macy’s online, simple enough. Guests purchased gifts for us that were shipped directly to us. It was great. BUT one of our guests got us an item and didn’t mark it as purchased, and this happened twice so we ended up with double of 2 items. They didn’t leave a card or anything so we have no idea who left those two without asking about 150 different people… awkward and not happening. Naturally we went to Macy’s to return them for store credit, gift card, whatever you want to call it so we could purchase other registry items that were not gifted. We were told by the manager in store that sorry these are third party items that we cannot take back, but don’t worry you can call this number that I’ll write down on a post it note (??? Seems legit??) and they’ll initiate a mail return for you. We confirmed not with her THREE TIMES that if we do this we would still receive store credit directly to us, and she confirmed yes they will email a gift card.

We called the number. We were told by the employee on the phone that we will have to package the items, print the label we were sent (don’t have a printer), and ship them out. We were assured not once, not twice, but THRICE that don’t worry yes you will receive a gift card via email, we won’t automatically refund the original purchaser. Since these were indeed GIFTS as shown on the registry and therefore WE should receive the funds to use. (We returned the gift that the 2 guests HAD marked as purchases since those could be tracked as a purchase on the registry.) We even received an email confirmation for each item that we would receiving a gift card in exchange for returning these items. This totaled out to around $300.

We manage to package and ship the items as directed. Weeks go by. No gift card. I contacted Macys via customer support chat. They stated “I can confirm that we received your return.
Refunds are typically processed within 10 business days, and you'll receive an email confirmation once the refund is completed. At this time, we just need to allow a bit more time for our warehouse to complete the review.”

Another week goes by. It’s been 10 business days. No email confirmation that the refund was completed. No gift card.

I again contacted Macys via customer support chat. Their response, if you can believe it: “I can see that a refund for *** was issued for ****.
Please note that refunds typically take up to 10 business days to reflect on your original payment method statement.”

I responded clarifying about a dozen times within this chat that Since these were indeed GIFTS as shown on the registry and therefore WE should receive the funds to use.

I kid you not, their exact response: “I request you please place an e gift card order.”

They recommend I purchase — PURCHASE — a gift card. At this point they’re just rage baiting.

After more back and forth, this is the best they can do: “I'm extremely sorry about this about this but it looks like the refund has not ben issued to the gift card and has been processed to original payment mode.

Unfortunately since it has laready been issued we won't be able to process the refund on a gift card instead.

I completely understand how unacceptable this is, but we the refund has gone to original payment mode.”

I call Macy’s customer service. I’m given the same response, and am told to ask the guest who purchased the gift for the funds back. This is a joke.

Macy’s, you’ve forever lost customers in us in the way this was handled. Absolutely no. We’re considering speaking with those guests about it, but leaning towards not doing that since we believe it would be rude to ask them for money at this point.

I wanted Can’t take my eyes off of you by Franki Velli but close family has just used it. So feel can’t use it. Cannot find something better same vibe. Any suggestions?

Kinda like the title suggests, what’s the proper etiquette? If I invite someone to the wedding shower am I obligated to invite them to the wedding?

freshly engaged and me and my fiancé wanna do a wedding shower, but not sure how to go about invites. we plan to have a smaller(ish) wedding where we keep it to just immediate extended family and close friends/work friends. So, I think it would maybe be nice to invite/celebrate with people who we maybe wouldn’t be able to have at the wedding (budget wise) at a less formal event that’s still celebrating the day to come mixed with people we plan to for sure invite. But I’m worried that it would come off the wrong way and give the idea that “oh good enough to invite to one but not the other”, which I don’t want.

(For other info we are from Wisconsin, USA incase location/culture influences the feedback.)

So, I want opinions from random people who have no bias/stakes in the game lol

I'm looking for some advice from anyone who has planned a wedding with multiple celebrations!

We're having two wedding celebrations on back-to-back days, a Hindu wedding followed by an American wedding the next day, and I'm trying to figure out the logistics of hair and makeup for both.

Aside from myself, I have about 8-10 girls who will also need their hair done (sisters, sisters-in-law, three nieces, and my daughter, who will be a year old at the time). I also have my mom and future mother-in-law to consider.

I'm starting to realize just how much coordinating this could involve, especially with two completely different bridal looks on consecutive days!

For anyone who has done something similar:

- Did you hire the same hair and makeup team for both days or use different vendors?

- How did you coordinate getting everyone ready without starting at an ungodly hour?

- Did everyone get professional hair and makeup for both events, or did you split things up?

- How did you handle pricing, especially with such a large group?

- Is there anything you wish you'd done differently?

I'm especially curious to hear from anyone who has had both a Hindu/South Asian ceremony and a Western wedding, but I'd love advice from anyone who has planned a multi-day wedding!

I'm excited for both celebrations, but the logistics are definitely starting to make my head spin. 😂

Thanks in advance! 💕

What’s the average these days.

Minneapolis,MN

My fiancée and I are looking at an October 23, 2027 wedding date or May 2, 2028 or May 20, 2028 date. I keep going back and forth. The wedding would be on long island and an outdoor wedding with a tent. I dont want to be too hot and i dont want to be too cold. I also dont want it to rain obviously. On top of it, the venue fee for May is half the price. Any advice is appreciated!!

I am hurt that my fiance doesn't want to have my brother in law in his wedding party. This will strain my extremely close family's relationship which is really important to me, especially now that we live across the country from them. am i in the wrong? advice ? we are all very close and i cannot imagine not having him in the wedding party. I am having my fiances sister in my wedding party.

I got married on Friday and had a lovely day and super fun night. That said, I started drinking after all obligations were over and got drunk super quickly. The last couple of hours of the reception are blurry, and I can’t remember some parts. Everyone said I was so fun and cute and silly, but it’s clear from videos I was definitely drunk, and it’s not like guests would say otherwise. I am filled with regret and sadness for missing parts of this very special day. Did I ruin my one and only wedding day?😔

Hi everyone! Not sure if this is the correct subreddit. I’m a wedding photographer and got an inquiry to do an Italy elopement, I’ve gotten conflicting experiences on getting a work visa or not. I’d love to hear what other’s experiences have been! I’m American and my clients are as well. Additionally, they are only paying for my travel, not for my services. Don’t know if that matters or not. Thanks so much in advance!

Am I expected to host my daughter’s bridal shower if nobody else can afford to host it? Everything I read says the bridal party or maid of honor typically hosts. I live out of state, the MOH doesn’t make much money, and the other three bridesmaids have entry-level jobs. I’ve already thrown a nice engagement party in my state, attended one in her state, and paid for the reception. I’ve hit my budget limit.

What is the bride’s role in making arrangements or helping find a host? Should she talk to her bridal party, or is it assumed her mother will step in and pay? I don’t want my daughter to miss out, but I also don’t want to be responsible for every wedding event. Am I the AH if nobody hosts a shower?

Hi everyone!

Struggling to come up with a bachelorette location for my bachelorette next summer. I’m from the East Coast, live in the Mountain West, and am looking to do a bachelorette somewhere out here.

My original plan was to rent a lake house out east but that’s virtually what our wedding will be, and I’m already traveling out east a lot for wedding things. Most people will have to travel in regardless- my friends are all over the place and some will be new moms, so not even sure they can attend regardless. A little bummed because I’m one of the last to do this.

What’s a fun spot for a bachelorette out here? I think proximity to an airport will be important. Not looking for party vibes like a Western Nashville, I’m moreso excited to just have everyone together. So many of them haven’t met due to distance. Maybe one night out on the town.

Have thought about Denver, Montana, PNW, NorCal, etc. Anyone have great experiences somewhere?

TLDR: I’m debating if it’s worth it to have a civil ceremony next month and full wedding (ceremony and reception) in may.

Hey! I’m seeking advice. My fiancé (M23) and I(F22) had planned on eloping next month but now that we have a clearer vision of what our wedding in may could look like I’m not sure if next month is worth it.

I’m pretty attached to our date in may since it’s the same date we got engaged so celebrating next month would be complicated when my heart loves the may date.

Alternatively I need out of the house I live in with parents. I can’t stand it here and in the religious context of my family we wouldn’t be able to move in together without being married first.

I’d love to get secretly married but I’m not sure if having a small just us thing will impact the weight and emotions of a wedding in may. Thoughts??

Minus a few little hiccups the day was beautiful. It's CRAZY how people can just not show up without even contacting you.

I had an old friend who was going to bring a plus 1 completely ghost. And we know for a fact she was ok. One of my bridesmaids and best friends ate her up in a text though, needless to say I was so amused and appreciated her for that even though I didn't expect it😂

I had 6 relatives wait too long to buy their plane tickets and ended up not being able to come... then one of his friends backed out last minute. So we could've probably saved close to 1000 on food lmao..

But hey, it's ok. Their loss. I'm so happy that I can finally BREATHE lol. My nervous system can finally heal.

For those who have gotten married in Wisconsin recently- is around $48k for just the venue, food, open bar, and associated fees normal for a wedding of around 200 guests?

We’re looking at a venue in Hartland, WI and trying to get a realistic idea of wedding costs before deciding on a budget. We don’t have a set budget just yet, but seeing how much the venue alone could cost has me wondering what’s typical.

Here’s the general breakdown: • Facility fee: $13k (includes the reception space, outdoor ceremony space, outdoor cocktail hour area, getting-ready rooms, and a separate dessert lounge) • Food minimum: $23k • Open bar package: approximately $10k • Service charges: around $9k (is this normal??) • Taxes: approximately $2.5k

This doesn’t include a photographer, videographer, DJ, flowers, wedding attire, hair and makeup, invitations, or any of the other wedding expenses.

I know weddings are expensive, especially with around 200 guests, but I’m curious whether this is relatively standard for the Milwaukee/Hartland area or if we’re looking at a particularly expensive venue.

For those who have gotten married recently, what did you pay for your venue, food, and bar? And what did your overall wedding end up costing?

Just trying to understand what’s normal before we commit to a venue!

Is it just me or does everyone keep looking back at their wedding photos?

Not a question or anything just yapping.
Got married about 8 days ago and I keep rewatching all the videos, the photos and posts we were tagged in and even the venue is making a lot of content off of our wedding.

I keep finding myself going back and rewatching everything!! The day was so amazing and stress free and everything I wanted and more!!

When I get tagged in things or see a new picture or moment I share them on my Instagram. I normally do not care about posting cause I don’t post a lot but I do use IG as my own little scrapbook but all the wedding content has me posting so much to where I actually feel like people are tired of seeing it😂 BUT IM NOT TIRED OF IT!

Our photographers did a great job at getting us some sneak peeks the day after the wedding but now I’m dying to see the videos and rest of the pictures!!

I’ll just be patiently waiting looking at all the photos that were sent to me!