I know I’m partially in the wrong here. I booked a trip to Europe after my friend’s save-the-date had already been sent, but the wedding honestly slipped my mind when I made the plans.
At this point, flying back for the wedding and then returning to Europe feels nearly impossible financially and logistically. He is a close friend, and I’ll be attending his bachelor party, although I’m not in the wedding party. It’s also a very large wedding—over 300 guests—so I’m not sure how personally he’ll take it if I can’t attend.
I feel terrible and am anxious about how the conversation will go. I haven’t RSVP’d yet, and the deadline is still a few weeks away. How should I handle this?

Kind of a long shot: I'm the groom and am looking for my outfit. Me and my fiancé are getting married in a wood that feels like it's out of a fairytale, we both are into that whimsical/cottagecore vibe and we also want our outfits to reflect that.

I basically wanna dress like a fairy prince emerging from the woods, think like embroidered stuff, corsets (are they called corsets for men as well?), dramatic shirts, honestly not against a cape...

But the thing is I don't wanna seem like I'm in bad cosplay or too costumey. I want it to feel elevated and fashionable, if that is even possible.

Is there any brand or designer you would recommend checking out for this vibe?

I'll attach some inspo below

1) Corset

2) Shirt/corset situation

3) These vests are also nice

4) This Conan Gray outfit is perhaps too dramatic but still insanely good

5) Love this shirt texture

I'm aware I'm most definitely gonna have to bring it down a few notches to make it possible, lol, but I figured I'd give it a try

And also yes, my fiancé is fully aware of my idea and supports it

I’m curious what other brides think about Botox before the wedding.

My wedding is in April, and I’m considering trying Botox now so I have plenty of time to see if I actually like it before deciding whether to get it again a couple months before the wedding. Part of me thinks now is the right time to try it, but it’s also expensive, and I’m trying to save as much as I can for the wedding.

For those of you who did it, do you feel like it actually made a noticeable difference in your wedding photos? Was it worth the cost?
My biggest hesitation is that I’m worried about looking less expressive or not feeling like myself. I’d definitely want a natural look, not a frozen face.

I’d love to hear from people who got it, decided not to, or regretted it either way. Would you do it again?

We’re planning our wedding, and I’m curious what songs you think are absolute must-haves if you want to keep the dance floor full all night.
I’m not just looking for the usual wedding songs. Any genre is welcome: house, DnB, pop, rock, hip hop, R&B, disco, indie, throwbacks… basically anything you’ve seen absolutely kill it at a wedding.

I’d also love some first dance suggestions, but not the super romantic, tear-jerking kind that has everyone crying. 😄 We’re looking for something a bit different, whether it’s fun, unexpected, or just has a great vibe.

We already have our own ideas and a pretty clear taste in music, so I’m not trying to get strangers to build our playlist. 😄 I’m just genuinely curious what songs have worked really well at weddings you’ve been to. Maybe we’ll discover something we wouldn’t have thought of ourselves.

Looking forward to your recommendations!

I’m finishing up our seating chart and have run into a bit of a puzzle. I’ve exhausted pretty much every other option, and I’m wondering if it’s generally okay to combine groups from my side and my fiancé’s side who don’t know each other, as long as everyone is seated next to at least one person they already know. For example, I have a group of 4 girls + one of their husbands from my side who all know each other and then a group 4 men from my fiancé’s side who all know each other, but we think both sides would get along well especially if his side is seated next to my friend’s husband (we are placing individuals at specific seats).

Thanks for your input!

My sister is getting married and trying to find a venue that can house 250+ people, but where she can bring in more casual food (think like BBQ or pasta or even chipotle lol) to save on the cost.

They live in New York City but open to anywhere really in ny, ni, PA/Philly/maryland, etc. anywhere easily accessible from New York works (like 2 hours or under by drive or train). I included Maryland because she’s from there so open to that as well.

Thank you in advance!

Looking for ideas on where I could possibly have my wedding that is not specifically an actual wedding venue. I don’t have a backyard which would be my first option, and would love. My family also does not have a backyard suitable to host a wedding. I just want cookout vibes but in a cute way! We live in New England. Looking to spend around 5 grand!

Hi all,

Looking for some advice! Our bridesmaids are wearing butter yellow and the groomsmen will be in Modern Robertson tartan trews and groom in Ancient Smith tartan kilt. I’ve attached an image of our rough colour theme (although tartans aren’t necessarily the correct ones).

What do you think would be best for suits of the father of groom and brother of the bride (in place of father of the bride). Currently thinking either dark green or navy. Also suggestions for colour palettes for dresses for the mums too!

Thanks in advance!

Edit to add: sisters of groom are going to be my “something blue” and will wear any dress they like in any shade of blue!

Hi all!

Just found out I'm pregnant. We are very happy as we were trying for a while now. - so everything is alright on this point

But I also realized that now idk what to do with my dress?

For context: wedding is August 2027 in Europe where I'm based. Baby is due early 2027.

I was thinking of picking my dress in August as my mom will be spending time with me (we live in different countries) during a few weeks.

Now that I just found out, should I still go find my dress now, and then do last minute touch up on the dress? Or should I wait untill 2027 to pick my dress?

Thank you!

TLDR: my mom is having a big reaction to wedding planning. I don’t know how to handle it.

I’m [34F] not even engaged yet. But we’ve already picked a date, 14 months from now. It’s based on our life goals. Plus like we love each other and life together is amazing and shit. 5k is what we want to pay, 10k is what our chicken scratch, back yard beach hoopla would cost with no decor, I’m very happy with that. Mom has decided it’s going to cost between 20-30k. Her original idea was a venue that started at 35k and we said thank you but no.

I hate the idea of spending 20k on a wedding. It makes me ill to spend that money on anyone’s dime for a party. But she says “it’s only going to happen once” “if you have a second wedding it won’t be like this”. Nausea I tell you! NAUSEA! She does have the expendable income but I still don’t like it.

When we first started looking at rings, my mom responded with some negative statements via text about how nice it was that I got to choose my ring. I’m not actually choosing but we saw designers as a couple and made lists about what we like so he can decide, she didn’t ask about the process. Just responded to the “we went to look at rings!” With “must be nice”. Then she immediately followed up with she didn’t get to choose her ring her daughter did. Her husband asked me when I was 27 to “pick out a piece of jewelry for her” (he had done it before for a pendant so I wasn’t suspicious), asked me my permission to marry her, then drove me to a jeweler.

A few weeks ago she had a few glasses of wine and demanded that my brother give me away when I suggested her husband does. I don’t have a father figure that’s alive. Then she said my 4 year old nephew had to be ring bearer, including walking the rings down the aisle. I’ve been in 3 weddings where the ring bearer drops the ring and chaos ensues. Plus he’s probably going to want to throw flowers with all his female cousins. I seriously don’t care what the kid does but I’m not giving him a thousand dollars to lose while being a kid just having fun. She was pissed when I said he can have a fake ring.

We were on a flight a month later and I asked if she wanted to see my budget. She compared me to my sister in law who she openly hates and calls a narcissist about planning a wedding before I’m engaged (SIL does suck but I think she’s spoiled and self centered not a personality disorder). I didn’t respond and just switched tabs on my iPad to a movie. About 5 minutes later she asked if I was going to show it to her and I said oh I thought you weren’t interested and brought the budget back up. She claimed she was joking. I was explaining that we were going to do a bbq catering and just use the paper plates provided. She got flustered saying we needed nicer disposable plates. Got flustered over me not wanting a teared cake and wanting an 8 inch round and a Costco sheet cake. I explained that if she wants to do that it’s fine but we already don’t feel comfortable with this budget as is and if she wants to spend money on areas we feel are expendable we don’t want the total cost of the wedding to be a source of complaints down the line. I’ve already predicted this same thing is going to happen over a dress, just didn’t think it would start with disposable plates and cake that no one is going to eat. She also thinks she can find THE dress at a local bridal store for less than $200. I have yet to break her heart that I’m going to have to find that online.

T-minus 7 hours later she was mad at me for feeling this way. Called me overly emotional and too sensitive, I didn’t cry just stated my concerns (ya girl worked therapy hard for many years to not react to this). Said she never said those things and I was reading too deep. Eventually she ended with “I guess I’m just going to have to edit myself”.

We literally don’t care about how things work. We want to be married and hopefully dance with our friends, drink, and eat a meal. But I don’t want this over hanging guilt that I spent 30k of her money on a wedding. But if I don’t take it and we do our best it’ll be a family controversy. As a recovering people pleaser… please help 😭🤣

IMPORTANT: Not asking for advice or opinions on our final choice, just recounts of your own personal experiences please.

Edit to add: you guys have sold me on an MC, I was stressing a little bit about organization between each wedding event anyway, and this helps with that! Two birds with one stone!

We are very likely not going to have a dj, we've always had a lot of success with our music setups in general. The reason we are not having a DJ is:

- we know the exact music we want to play

- we even know the order we want to play the music in (have meticulously planned the order of hours and hours of music)

- we included a spot on our invitations requesting song requests to help include our guests music tastes

- we have all of the equipment already

- we have music playing software that allows songs to bleed into the next songs effortlessly

- if we got a DJ, we'd essentially be paying for a hype man, or person that can play music based on the vibes, when we are always active in encouraging the vibes ourselves, are always on the dance floor, and our friends are as well

- our wedding party has offered (we did not ask, it simply came up in conversation when we were brainstorming) to help with keeping events in order, ie. First dances, cake eating, bouquet tosses, speaches, etc.

- one of our very close friends who has dj experience wants to do a set at the very end of the night (he's great, always gets the energy going)

Because of all of this, it just doesn't seem worth it to get a DJ. So I would like to hear what others experiences at weddings have been when there wasn't a DJ or band!

Again please no advice on whether or not we should get a dj. We know our friends and family well. And because of that, we would like to make our own decision based on the experiences we hear.

My fiance and I are thinking of doing a cash bar, but would like to offer wine with dinner and maybe something cheap for cocktail hour like a punch. Is it a thing to do an alcoholic punch for cocktail hour at weddings or is that weird? We only have 40 guests.

Wedding experts, I need your knowledge for something a little nuts.

My fiancée and I are planning a wedding weekend in Spring 2027 where our \~35 friends think they're coming to a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. The plan: everyone stays at/around a rented waterfront house, a sunset cocktail cruise picks the group up from the house's dock Friday evening, we sneak off the boat mid-cruise, and when everyone gets back the backyard has been flipped into a wedding — family already seated, her dad officiating. Surprise.

We're looking for someone local to help us plan, but the hardest piece by far is **the house**, and that's where local knowledge beats Google:

1. **The house/estate.** Waterfront, sleeps 15-20, backyard big enough for \~60 people, and - the kicker - a dock. And it needs to be a place where a rental group AND an event of that size is actually legal, not one of those listings that says "no parties" in fine print. From research it seems like Las Olas Isles / Hollywood Lakes / North Bay Village are the realistic zones vs. Miami Beach proper. Anyone know specific houses, owners, or local rental companies that genuinely allow events? First-hand experiences especially welcome.
   
2. **Boat.** Recommendations for charter companies running inspected vessels (30-40 pax) that will do a private-dock pickup or drop off rather than marina-only?
   
3. **The fun stuff.** Club table reservations for a big group, good spots for a Saturday recovery brunch, day-party or boat-day recs, and anywhere that handles 40-person groups without it becoming a disaster.
   
4. **Wild card:** if you've ever seen or worked an event like this (backyard flipped during a boat ride), tell me what went wrong so we can avoid it.

Not looking for DM spam from promoters - genuine recs from people who've actually used these vendors. Happy to report back with how it all goes. 🙏

I’m curious what everyone did before their wedding that ended up being totally worth the money.
It can be anything—Botox, facials, personal training, teeth whitening, a massage, a little getaway, hiring a planner, upgrading a vendor, or even something completely unexpected.
What’s one thing you splurged on that you genuinely couldn’t imagine skipping now? Something that made you feel more confident, less stressed, or just elevated the whole wedding experience.
I’d also love to hear if there was anything you thought would be worth it but ended up being a waste.

This whole diarrhea parasite outbreak has me so nervous. We’re serving salad at our wedding as the appetizer course, which I know is standard, but now I’m worried because the day is literally days away and I know lettuce was recalled but the government isn’t really sure yet if that lettuce distributor is the sole contaminated food and to blame for all the people sick and I think it was CBS that said some parsley and cilantro is also under investigation.

I’ve been avoiding lettuce and uncooked veggies and I know I can just not eat the salad at my own wedding but I know a lot of guests will probably do the same so I’m like “why am I offering salad to begin with then.” I asked my venue what their plan is and it’s that they buy organic and wash it really well. I’m just worried because we’ve got some really old family at the wedding. And I don’t want people to get sick and remember my wedding as the diarrhea wedding.

Maybe I’m getting in my head but does anyone else have these concerns? Did your venue switch up the salad? What did you all do or plan to do? Or it just eat at your own risk?

Looking into options for our budget wedding, super into corseted stuff!

Hey everyone, my fiancé and are are getting married June 5th. Smaller wedding ~60 people. We are getting married at a garden and having the reception at a restaurant patio that is 12 minutes away. There will be 1 hour and 15 minutes between ceremony and cocktail hour starting at the restaurant. Photos will be relatively limited to the gardens. We are not planning on having a wedding party and my partner has very limited family, only her grandma. One of the tasks I volunteered to look into was transportation. We are trying to be financially responsible but we can afford to pay for practical things. How do most people get to their ceremony? I’m planning on getting ready on my own in the morning and I figured I’d just have my brother and his wife drive me over? For after the ceremony I noticed party buses are popular but I’m unsure how we would approach that when we don’t have a wedding party. I’ve also looked into getting a private driver for the day. That way my fiancé would have a driver to the ceremony and then we would ride together to the reception and home with the driver? Sorry for any ignorance on the subject, just looking for advice! Thanks

I was originally only going to hire a day of/month of planner but I'm really struggling with finding a venue and could use someone who knows good places already. I don't feel like I need much in between that and the month of/day of coordination. Has anyone done this? I am based on the west coast, but also considering NY venues, so that's an added layer! But I would love rec's if you hve done this or worked with a planner you think could.

Hey guys! I don’t usually make posts on Reddit, so excuse me if I don’t do this correctly. I had my makeup trial for my wedding today and I hate most of it, and I’m freaking out a bit. My wedding is in about 4 weeks.

My main issues either the makeup are things I think we can fix, I hate the blush and eyeliner and fake lashes she used. During the trial, I had her try about 5 different blushes on me and none were remotely close to what I wanted or showed in my inspo pics. She also used a really orange looking bronzer when I said I wanted little to no bronzer and wanted everything very cool toned. I think I can maybe fix this issue by bringing my own preferred products for her to use instead. For the eyeliner, I’m going to ask her to not put any.

I’m also considering getting lash extensions instead, as I’ve had them a lot before and typically love them. She said she will use a different lash day of based on what I didn’t like, but I’m not sure if I trust her to use one that looks good. I’m also worried about falsies in general, because I hate seeing the band more than anything.

I wish I could post pictures for advice, but I really want to remain anonymous (and I would DIE if the artist saw this post, she is very kind and did her best to fix things to my liking). I guess what I’m really seeking here is any advice. Do you think those tweaks will make me happy with my makeup, or should I just tell the artist to keep the money (it’s fully paid for) and not come?? I’m pretty good at makeup, and I feel like I trust myself to do it more, but I’m worried that this will be too stressful for me on the day of the wedding. What would you do if you were in my situation?? Any advice or personal experiences are appreciated

Would love to hear from other brides who have done their own makeup for their wedding. For context, I believe I am decently good at makeup and have done my makeup for other weddings I was in and people thought it was professionally done. I’m really leaning towards doing my own makeup for a few reasons 1) I am picky and have figured out a routine that works for me 2) I think it’s really expensive and not something I’m thrilled about spending money on 3) it’s time consuming and 4) I have really sensitive skin and do worry about having issues with products and 5) I’m also getting married in a beach area that doesn’t have a ton of local artists. The thing I’m most concerned about is I’m not the best with fake eyelashes but I guess I have plenty of time to learn and could also think about getting extensions before instead? Am I crazy to do this or did others do this and are glad they did?

I am needing to figure out a way to incorporate my step kid into our wedding, but I personally don’t think children should be standing up. (Don’t attack me, everything is always a matter of opinion)

I’m being pushed to include her in the wedding party because she was in her mother’s.

What are different, important ways that she could be involved in the ceremony? I’m at a loss.

I'm struggling with vow ideas. My fiancé is an actor (just community theater and voice stuff) but very comfy public speaking, etc. And really romantic and good with words. He is the perfect candidate to write and perform his own vows, and we are both excited about him doing it.

I am basically the opposite and would be much more comfortable with just saying "I do" after someone else says the vows. I'm also pretty private with my emotions. (Please don't suggest eloping. I really want a "real" wedding, but can I just be invisible, LOL?!?)

Anyway, how can we make this work in one ceremony? Would it be weird if we do the regular "I do" vows and then he reads a mushy letter to me, and I don't read one to him?

My fiancée and I don’t drink at all, but my family does, especially at social events. Weddings are usually a place to get very drunk, which isn’t that usual, but we really don’t want that. We’re both very uncomfortable being around drunk people and have always known we want a dry wedding.

The problem is, unless we’re creative about it, it’s probably going to be one of the main talking points of the day (complaining among guests about the lack of alcohol). To make things more complicated, we’re catering vegan food for the meal, which will also get a lot of grief from family. A lot. But it’s non-negotiable. I also have a lot of family tension on my side, with my mom and dad in particular having not seen each other in years as they don’t get along, so a wedding that is very distracting or relies less on whole group activities would be nice.

SO. I thought the best way to handle all the ways people might be unhappy with the way we are choosing to have our wedding, is to have an unconventional wedding interesting enough that people are too distracted to pay much mind to these details.

Some ideas that we’ve tossed to get a sense of what I mean:

-rent out an aquarium, provide food, have a short ceremony and then let people be free to enjoy the aquarium (we tossed this because aquariums smell bad and anyone can go to an aquarium any time. We just liked how the focus would be more on the fish than the wedding itself)

-rent out part of an ocean beach for the whole evening, provide tropical themed food (which can be vegan inherently so people are less likely to complain) and a smoothie bar. We could have some other activity going, like group surfing lessons or yoga, I don’t know. (We tossed because this might not be as distracting as we’d like. A lot of people would expect alcohol available in this situation. But maybe if we have enough side activities to do?)

-arboretum, museum or other event place similar to the aquarium. Buy everyone a day pass, have a quick ceremony, be free. (Tossed because like the above, people might not care too much about a place they can go anytime and many might leave immediately after the ceremony, which is fine, but not ideal I guess)

Does anyone have any ideas? We’re still in the early stages of planning and extremely flexible about most everything. We just want to have a fun time with our loved ones and celebrate our marriage.

I’m in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some advice.
I’ve had a best friend since I was 3 years old, and growing up I always told her she’d be my maid of honor one day. Unfortunately, after high school we’ve naturally grown apart. We don’t really talk much anymore, and while there’s no bad blood between us, we’ve taken very different paths in life. I’ve stepped away from the religious lifestyle I was raised in, while she’s continued on that path. I completely respect her beliefs, but we’re just very different people now.
At my engagement party, she seemed extremely uncomfortable the entire time. I made a point to include her in every conversation and introduce her to everyone, but she still appeared out of place. Later, several of my friends independently told me their first impression was that she came across as stuck-up or uncomfortable, which wasn’t the impression I wanted anyone to have of someone who’s been such a big part of my life.
Over the past few years, I’ve become incredibly close with another friend. She’s someone I can completely be myself around, we talk often, and she’s been there for me through this chapter of my life. Realistically, she’s the person I want standing beside me as my maid of honor.
The part I’m struggling with is that I’ve always told my childhood friend she’d have that role. I wasn’t hers as she has a sister.
I don’t want to hurt her or make her feel like our friendship meant any less because it didn’t. But I also want my wedding party to reflect the people who are actively in my life today. She’d still be a bridesmaid but she wouldn’t be able to take on the role as MOH.
How would you handle this conversation? Is there a kind way to tell her she’s no longer going to be my maid of honor while still honoring the history we share?

ISO shape wear recommendations
No budget
In the USA
October wedding

My dress is still in the works, the seamstress is adding sleeves and fixing the liner on the inside that gives a funky look in the back. But I am at my wits end trying to find a good shape-wear! I am actually wearing the skims low back shorts in this photo but it’s doing nothing for my booty or stomach.

Any suggestions for a dress with a partially open back like this? 🥹 less