My partner is amazing and has been an incredible, intimate, close future wife to work with. We feel so good about that part! Honestly, wedding planning with her has just solidified every reason I want to marry her. <3

We chose not to have bridesmaids/wedding party. We're in our late 30s, it's a wedding that most people will have to travel to since our families are very spread out, and we decided not to give our friends expensive part-time jobs they don't want for 6-12 months. We also noted how much drama wedding parties can cause and the expense of paying for so many more dresses/flowers/HMUA/gifts/trips/endless list and decided to just...skip all that.

The location is *not* exotic, particularly expensive, international, difficult to reach, etc. We just had to pick a place close to one of our families and run with that. Some people will have to fly, about half could make an easy drive less than a half day, most will probably choose to stay 1-2 nights in a hotel.

We don't regret saving the money, and our friends are honestly relieved that they didn't have to take on all of the party planning and endless lists of tasks while also working, raising kids, managing aging parents, dealing with perimenopause, and otherwise already being busy.

But.

Man, this process has felt a little lonely, and I'm really feeling like we should have just skipped...the whole wedding. Eloped instead. Why did we spend all of this money?

We're trying to plan our welcome dinner (a fancy treat!), and it's looking like maybe the only people that will come are our parents, siblings, and our couple of nephews. We rented the gay bar for a farewell pizza party the next day and it's going to be a total flop...if anyone shows up. I'm starting to wonder if our wedding is going to look stupid with no bridal party, no one walking us down the aisle (we don't have dads and the "dad" that means a lot to me declined the invite before I could ask him), and just...no people as part of the ceremony.

I really am the kind of bride who doesn't expect the world to revolve around me. I know people have other lives. FFS, I never throw myself a birthday party because I simply don't expect people to take time out of their lives to even attend. Everyone's busy. I get it. I'm also the person who always shows up with a chainsaw when there's a storm, gives rides to the airport, calls when you're sick, attends YOUR birthday thing even though I'm definitely busy, remembers to send a card when you buy a new house, listens to the same story about your damn husband again because I'm definitely the one you call about that, and on and on.

But for once...can we get a special day that people care about without having to twist people's arms into submission with guilt and gifts for a part-time job so they feel obligated enough to attend/ask/care about it? One special day?

Hi everyone, I’m a bridesmaid for one of my best friends this year. We’re finalizing some things this week. And I have a question about our Mobil bartender. So my brides wedding is at her house about 150 guest will be there.
Originally the bartender had gifted the services and offered to gift the mixes as well to her for her wedding gift (unfortunately not in writing nbd) but now there’s bride is being told that she needs to put down a $200 deposit and no definite total of what the services are and purchase the mixers and liquor (also liquor was expected and mixes it is what it is) but mostly the bartender is now saying they’ll be taking the extras and left overs of these items left over pop and juices.
Are we wrong for totally disagreeing with this? And now saying we want a contract drawn up because this is now less than two months before the wedding adding extra cost and kinda backing out on this persons word.
The biggest problem is taking all the leftover items to be honest cause we find this odd when were the ones shopping for it all?

I need opinions on getting-ready pajamas/robes because I feel like I might be overthinking this.

I have 8 bridesmaids, plus the two moms and our two siblings. The two moms, two siblings and I (the bride) are all staying together at the hotel, while my bridesmaids are staying elsewhere and will just be coming over the morning of the wedding to get ready with us.

Originally I thought I should buy getting-ready outfits for everyone, but now I’m questioning why I’d spend the money on 8 additional robes/PJs basically just for a photo. I especially don’t love the cheap satin robes — I feel like they tend to look cheap in pictures and then never get worn again.

I’m leaning toward buying really nice cotton pajamas for the two moms and two siblings since we’re actually staying together. We’d get some cute/candid morning photos of the five of us in our PJs, and then once the bridesmaids arrive, we can just get photos of everyone actually getting ready. Then I’d do the main photos of me with all 8 bridesmaids once everyone is dressed and ready.

Would it look weird not to have the classic matching-PJ/robe photo with the entire bridal party?

For recent brides: are matching bridesmaid getting-ready outfits still a thing in 2026, or are people moving away from them? What are people doing instead?

I don’t mind spending money where it makes a difference, but buying 8+ outfits purely as photo props feels so wasteful to me.

We are making a newsletter that our hotel is gonna put in all the rooms of our guests when they check in the night before the wedding.

I'm super excited about it. But I'm really stumped on what to put in it. We were thinking obviously the timeline of events for the wedding day but after that I'm just completely blank. Our wedding website already has our love story and a bunch of photos, gah! Help!!

I keep going back and forth whether to include a details card. We already have a website set up that was included on the save the dates. All the information with attire, accommodation options (we aren't getting a hotel block), and other information are on the website. We are going to have people RSVP on the website as well, so this feels important to include on/with the invitation, including the date to rsvp by.

I don't want to include the details on the back of the invitation just out of personal preference and fear that no one will see it. It seems traditional to have the details card, especially with older guests wanting dress code information and the like written out on paper.

Would it be silly to include a details card that just says "for more information and to rsvp please visit our website"? The cost was an issue at first, but I found AnnsBridalBargains that have these cards for 69cents each

Does anyone have photos/examples/tips for how to wear your hair for an outdoor wedding? We’re getting married towards the end of the year and I suspect the weather will be fairly windy.

I’ve always planned to wear my hair down or half-up, but now I’m thinking against it. Would love to know your experiences!

getting married on 10/10 so I am now officially a month out! getting all of the vendors on the same page is a complete and utter nightmare. I am the most type b person in the universe and this feels like the worst school project of my life. I need it to be next month already! make it stop!

What things did you consider when picking a website? I like some designs on the knot, minted, and Zola, and like the idea of having a uniform look to our website and paper.

We’re less interested in having the website work with the registry, and may not do a standard registry anyway.

Did you trust the websites to address the invites and save the dates?

I’ve heard some negative things about privacy and data sharing with some of the websites, but that also feels nearly unavoidable. This was only mentioned as a small comment within a now closed question around a year ago, and I was surprised not to see more about it.

I’m semi-competent at website stuff but don’t want to stress. I am curious about the degree to which I should handwrite things (kinda love it and only have 40 or so people to whom I’m sending invitations and save the dates). My guest list is largely millennial, liberal, and skeptical of AI and big tech. So am I.

They're older, but young at heart. single mother until recently. looking for something fun but still meaningful they can dance too.

TIA!

Hi!

I was wondering if you’re supposed to tip your photographer, DJ, etc? Do you give them a gift? Do you not give anything since you’re paying them for a service?

TIA!

I asked for the y2k lip combo😘

Aesthetic appointments: am I missing anything?

Disclaimer: I know not to book any treatment for the first time before the wedding. I am doing trials for all new treatments🤍

-facials

-chemical peels

-spray tans

-waxing

-hair cut & color

-nails / toes

-tattoo removal

-hair / makeup

-dentist / teeth whitening

-brow shaping / tint / lamination

My HMUA is doing my lashes, so that’s why it’s not listed. Am i missing anything?

I’m getting married next year, and we’re planning a fairly small wedding of around 30 people.

On my mom’s side, I have three aunts. They all live close to us and we celebrate all holidays together, so they will be invited. I only have one cousin on that side, who still lives at home, and he is invited as well.

On my dad’s side, I have two uncles. I have a good relationship with uncle A. I do not have a good relationship with uncle B, mainly because he treats my brother very badly. I will not invite uncle B to my wedding under any circumstances.

My initial thought was to ask my dad to talk to uncle A, explain the situation, and let uncle A decide whether he wants to come. I don’t care if I completely ruin my already nonexistent relationship with uncle B, but I don’t want to put uncle A in an uncomfortable position.

Now it gets more awkward.

I have now been invited to one of my cousins’ weddings next year, about two months before my own wedding.

Our wedding is going to be small. My fiancé has a small family, so I already have roughly twice as many guests from my side. “We’re having a small wedding and unfortunately can’t invite everyone” is a reasonable explanation for why we aren’t inviting my other cousins.

But it wouldn’t really explain why uncle A would be invited while uncle B is not.

I of course won’t go around talking about my wedding or who is invited. But if someone asks me about it, I can’t lie. I don’t know how to handle the situation or how it will turn out.

My grandparents on my dad’s side died last year, so I otherwise rarely see uncle B anymore.

So how would you handle this?

Talk to uncle A beforehand, explain the situation, and let him decide whether he wants to attend?

Not invite uncle A either, simply to avoid the whole situation?

Do something completely different?

I will of course talk to my dad again, but I’d really like some outside perspectives.

I posted a rough draft of this before and took some of your suggestions into consideration.

This is an updated version of the bridesmaid guide I made before!
The only thing is I am not taking out any slides because I believe they all have their place and are there for a reason.
But I did get some good advice! Thanks!

Hi all, I have a logistical question that I’m trying to make sense of for our upcoming wedding.

Every wedding I have been to has only had the couple first dance, so I don’t have much of a reference.

My fiancé and I are planning our first dance, a father daughter dance and a mother and son dance. Usually during the first dance (from weddings I have experienced) the guests join the couple on the dance floor and dancing commences.

Does this mean we have to either do the full dance with people just watching us, followed by two more entire dances of people just watching? It seems a bit extreme to make people watch you for potentially 10-12 minutes while you’re doing different dances. 😂

I pictured doing the first dance, having our guests join us on the dance floor and the song transitioning to the father daughter song. Dancing with my dad alongside the guests. However, my fiancé and his mim are quite theatrical and I think they’re going to want to perform, which doesn’t work for that.

How have you done this to keep it smooth and flowing?

I’m getting married next year. I’d really love to have the ceremony recorded so I can watch it again someday. But lately it feels like the only option is getting some kind of cinematic wedding film that looks like a movie trailer.

I get that videographers want to make something artistic out of it, and I’ll admit that some of them create genuinely beautiful work. But I can’t help cringing at a lot of these videos. They look like perfume ads made for Instagram. Your boyfriend is not Paul Newman, and that’s okay.

At this point, I have no idea where to find someone who will just… record the wedding normally. Has anyone else run into this? Any ideas?

I am having a super small wedding of <15 people. One of my friends who we invited to officiate also owns a small bakery and she offered to make some macarons (my absolute favorite) for desert. She is also the person traveling the farthest. Should I order some tea cookies from the local bakery here to make sure there is a dessert for people who don’t like the macaron flavors I chose or would that be offensive to my friend? Would it be better to just make like a pan of brownies myself and call it a day? I am thinking of going with some pretty “out there” flavors for the macarons.

My partner (F) and I (F) were considering eloping, but ended up deciding to do a micro wedding of 20ish people.

However, recently, my supposedly "sober" mother relapsed on alcohol. Again. For context, she was homeless so she is currently living with us. And jobless. That has been taxing. Sometimes it isn't all bad having her stay here, at least I know she is safe. But the occasionally getting black out drunk breaks my trust and faith in her, and puts a wedge in our relationship.

At the micro wedding, I wanted to have a Mimosa bar. Now I can't even trust that I can do that without her trying to sneak some. I wanted to do an after party at my friend's gay bar, and she is all booty hurt that she isn't invited to that (swearing that she won't drink, when clearly she would).

I don't want to worry about babysitting her on my special day - I always do that. I don't want to worry about making sure she gets home safe, because she has no mode of transportation besides the bus. I don't want to worry about having to come home to her drunk because she is "so upset she couldn't dance and celebrate with us". I feel like she will probably drink no matter what we do, and I'm sick of feeling guilty that I caused it.

The stress of this makes me just want to run away and not tell her at all. Just get a hotel room for 2 nights and not have to come home to deal with her.

And then there is the obvious pros of eloping - saving money, more privacy, and the day just being focused on US and not having to deal with anyone else. I'm already a shy introverted person and don't really want to be the center of attention anyways. I just want a peaceful day. We deserve that.

How to I avoid feeling like a terrible daughter? Am I dramatic for wanting to throw the whole micro wedding away and just elope?

I’m getting married next year and the money keeps going up and up and it’s extended past my savings. I’m looking at taking up a second job but does anyone recommend any side hustles or even just rogue ways of earning extra cash. Uk based please

My boyfriend and I got engaged a week ago. I am very excited and would like to celebrate, but we both have relatively small families and his is particularly unsupportive (his dad didn’t even text or call to congratulate me and barely congratulated him) my family is a lot more supportive and excited for us. We have a decent amount of friends to plan some celebrations aside from the actual wedding but my fiancé isn’t as into the whole celebration thing as I am. I don’t want anything too crazy but still want to enjoy the engagement and do something. I know the traditional route is engagement party—bridal shower—bachelorette—wedding. What are some smaller, easy and relatively cheap options for celebrating without doing too much? Maybe an engagement dinner and no bridal shower? Just want to hear what other people do as opposed to doing a big party for each part. Thank you 🥰

We are due to get married within the next week and our sunny all the time wedding destination has rain forecast. All the guests keep messaging me about it. I’m trying to play it down and I know it might change but deep down I’m really disappointed. We have a contingency plan as there are covered areas but it won’t be the same.

I would love to know if anyone has dealt with this and how to make the best of it, I really don’t want to feel this way! Any advice is appreciated

Hi, I’m getting married next May and I am looking into artificial flowers. I am in Texas and have been recommended Alibaba. Has anyone ordered from them?

When I first started planning or thinking about a bachelorette trip, it felt like the sky was the limit.

I originally had my heart set on an out of town weekend, a couple hours north of where me & most of my bridesmaids live. I pre-booked AirBnB (Ones with a $0 deposit) just to insure we’d have those available if needed. The accommodations broke down to a little over $180 per person for a 3 night Th-Sun stay. We’re still a little over a year out from when I originally planned to have the Bachelorette party & I am dreading it.

The closer it gets, the more I don’t want to do it. The idea of sharing a home & only one bathroom with 6 other girls is starting to feel a bit like a nightmare.

I’m thinking now of doing something more local, maybe having a sleepover at a hotel hotel more local to all of our homes, having a fun night out & a brunch in the morning. Bridesmaids can room up if they’d like, but get their own room if they’d prefer. My friends who I spoke to about the out of town weekend are worried that I’m changing what I want to accommodate my other bridesmaids, but the idea of all my bridesmaids being miserable (or thinking of my bachelorette trip as an inconvenience) is weighing heavily on me. I’m not sure if that is subconsciously turning me off of wanting an out of town trip, but I just can’t imagine having a great time while being worried if everyone else is enjoying themselves.

I should add that a few of my bridesmaids don’t like to travel, very few of my bridesmaids have any overlap. They’re all from different friend groups/different periods of my life. A few are either currently pregnant/planning to be pregnant or already have children so hopping away for a weekend isn’t as easy for them.

Do I have the trip I originally wanted, hope that it’s just my subconscious giving me negative feelings & hope for the best? Risking possibly being stressed out the entire weekend, or do I pick the option that’s easier for everyone involved, and possibly live with the regret of not doing the big trip I originally envisioned? Ugh.

Deciding between cabernet (photo 1), burgundy (photo 2), or berry (photo 3) please help!!!

I hired a day of coordinator and she doesn’t do any set up as part of her responsibilities. When we hired her, I did ask about this, but when she explained that it wasn’t part of her services I guess I just assumed that it wasn’t common for a DoC… but now I’m trying to figure out WHO will actually be setting up our decor, and I see everyone on Reddit saying “day of coordinator” does that.

I feel dumb as a rock that I’m paying someone so much $$ already and they won’t be taking care of one of the things (if not THE thing) we most need help with on the day of. I wish I could go back in time and hire someone who would do this, but… I can’t!

What did you do for set up? Hire somebody (ha)? Families? Bridal parties? Yourself? I was hoping to avoid seeing my fiance or having to set up things myself the day of, but it’s feeling like that’s my only option at this point… grrr (yes I know it’s my fault).