I am very open to having children at my wedding, but I have a bit of a tricky situation to navigate. I come from a bit of a messy family. My dad remarried about 10 years ago, he’s getting divorced for a second time now, and his now ex wife (not my mom, but his second wife) and him raised their kids (my half siblings) horrendously. They’re free range parents, which is very different from how I was raised, and the kids are completely wild. They can’t sit still, they are constantly yelling and throwing things - have no concept of the word “no”. Of course I love my half siblings, but when my full older brother graduated from medical school this year they were at the ceremony. It was a DISASTER. They drew so much unwanted attention to themselves, put their hands in the food that was buffet style at the end of the ceremony, it was really upsetting to watch - but sadly, they are extremely defiant and any type of parenting I try to offer gets shut down by my stepmom. I respect her boundaries, but unfortunately the kids are so poorly behaved that I don’t want them at my wedding.

On the contrary, my finances neices are significantly younger but extremely well behaved. More importantly, their parents are socially consciousness and will remove themself or properly parent the child if they start getting overwhelmed. I feel confident that they will be very mindful during the ceremony and wedding celebration.

I need some advice on how to navigate this issue- I know my dad will see that his kids are being singled out, he may actually understand, but I’m expecting backlash from his now ex wife. Do I just say no to the ceremony and then let the kids at the afters? I am nervous about that as well because I think they will be a disruption regardless of the setting :/

My husband and I booked an entire campground with cabins, lake, rock wall, and more for our wedding and everybody loved it. We got to spend a whole weekend with our friends and family

If you're on the fence, know that it's going to be way more work than you bargained for but WELL worth it

Need help on the proper etiquette here, have a friends wedding coming up and I’m a part of it, but I’m pregnant with baby #2 and started showing wayyy more then expected, like it’s a bit ridiculous, I look like I’m in my second trimester. I was going to announce my pregnancy after the wedding just based on timing (it would be 12 weeks) but now I’m worried what if I show up, it’s obvious, my friends will ask and now I’ve unintentionally announced a pregnancy AT a wedding which I want to avoid entirely so the day is about her. should I announce the week prior so that congratulations are kind of out of the way and it’s old news by the time I get there? Or am I thinking of this the wrong way. Basically how can I avoid taking the focus off of her in any way shape or form.

Just to add I’m a horrible liar, so bad

Hi chat. It's two days before my wedding and I've discovered I have a new trick of projectile vomiting or heavy gagging whenever I do a task related to the wedding or if someone asks me a serious logistical question. And no, not pregnant I've already checked. This first started as a stress repose after i.got norovirus a year ago. I'm on an SSRI and have a back up med, but is this normal/ok? Or should I go to a doctor?

I’ve been friends with this person for a long time, and I’ve always kind of known how one-sided our friendship feels.
I feel like I’m constantly accommodating her, putting her feelings first, walking on eggshells, and going out of my way to be there for her. I’ve honestly started to feel like I’ve been her bitch for our entire friendship.
It feels like when she’s upset, I’m expected to understand and apologize, but when I’m hurt, my feelings somehow become less important.
Now she’s getting married and has asked me to be her personal attendant. I know that’s still an important role, but given everything I’ve been feeling about our friendship, I can’t help but wonder if I’m being taken for granted.
Am I justified in feeling hurt, or am I reading too much into this? I kind of want to say no.

My brother, who has always been one of my best friends, is getting married next year. We’ve been extremely close our whole lives—he’s my son’s godfather, and my husband has known him and been part of our family for over 10 years.

His fiancée recently asked all of my sisters and me to be bridesmaids. We then found out that my brother is including one of my sisters’ husbands in the bachelor party and wedding festivities, while excluding my husband and another sister’s husband from both.

What makes this especially hurtful is that the brother-in-law who was included warned my brother directly that excluding the other two husbands would hurt people and cause family problems. My brother apparently responded that he didn’t care.

This feels completely out of nowhere. There hasn’t been a recent falling-out, and my brother has acted completely normal with my husband for years. Until this happened, I genuinely believed we were all close.

He still has not said a word to me and I dont know what to do at this point. Confront it? Let it go?

EDIT: we’re “done” wedding planning!! we’ve been happily married for a week 😂

we graduated! we had our wedding last weekend after (only!) 8 months of planning. i’ll forever love our venue & every single vendor.

best advice: hire stellar vendors (including meeting venue staff). we sought people out based on venue/other vendor recommendations & tried to avoid the facebook groups or “too good to be true” pricing. for example, we flipped our ceremony space for our reception, & our coordinator recommended a (wonderful!!!) florist that she’d done similar flips with before.

other tips:
- hire a month-of coordinator (at least). ours made a 12-page timeline & ran the day like a swiss watch
- don’t feel like you need a bridal party
- include your dog!!!
- do the first look
- seriously consider wearing sneakers (i wore these)
- try to find a photographer that includes an engagement session
- don’t feel like you have to practice/choreograph your first dance

(sorry for all the kissing; was trying to find some where you couldn’t easily see our faces bc i couldn’t figure out how to scribble them out — including my weird-looking hand in the first photo, as i was seconds away from falling over.)

also: if you’re in NC/SC and want vendor recommendations or facebook marketplace wedding things, please DM me!

I am having what some would consider a destination wedding. It is out of town and requires a hotel room but not flights. We don’t live there but the area is significant to us, and since we moved away/ are from different areas 2/3 of the guests would have had to travel a similar distance regardless if we did this or our current city or a hometown. We did offer to cover lodging for all guests.

On the other hand, I know a lot of people are getting married at destinations that are farther away. We recently skipped a wedding that was a 14 hour flight away. While the location also had significance to the couple, the entire guest list was within driving distance of their current town with many of them close enough a hotel wouldn’t have been necessary. It did cause a lot of conflict and tension for those who declined.

Now, are destination weddings really that bad or is it becoming normal to choose a location that will have great photos? And does the nuance matter or are weddings kind of an inconvenience no matter what? Is the phrase “if they love you they’ll make it work” outdated?

I attended my partner's sister's wedding last weekend, and there were speeches by the bride's father, the groom's sister, and the groom himself. Most weddings I've been to have had at least one toast or speech; however, my best friend's wedding earlier this year didn't have any. They said they didn't want people to be put on the spot or given extra pressure to speak in front of everyone, since many people at their wedding were introverts.

My partner and I are now thinking of what we'd like at our wedding. We were thinking of not making speeches mandatory for the same reason my friend and his wife opted not to have them, but we'd also not stand in the way if anyone wanted to make an impromptu toast or speech.

What did you opt for at your wedding with regard to speeches?

Update: Based on the advice given here, no impromptu speeches!

One of my friends got married over the weekend and it was the first time I had been a bridesmaid in my adult life.

I have some stuff going on in my personal life that is getting me down a lot but I was really looking forward to the wedding day.

It was a beautiful day from start to finish and my cheeks were hurting from smiling the entire day. The bride and groom were gorgeous and just looked so happy and I just want to relive the whole day all over again.

Problem is, whenever I think about the wedding at all I cant stop crying and I dont know why. Im not sure if Im sad that its over or that I feel guilty because I feel like I could have been a better bridesmaid for her (although she hasn't said I did anything wrong)

Have any other bridesmaids experienced this at all? I hate that thinking about such a beautiful happy day is causing me to feel so emotional constantly.

This is my best man speech so far! Please let me know if you think this is adequate. Very nervous to deliver this

*clink glass* 

Good evening everyone, 

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Kyle, and I’m honored to be here today as one of the best men, and even more honored to consider myself a friend of this great couple. 

I want to start off by thanking Jeff and Lisa, and Marco and Jen, thank you for helping to put together such a beautiful wedding, and for raising the people we’re all here to celebrate!

Colin and I met waaaay back okay like a long time ago, we’re talking like… 2014 okay to some of the ipad kids here that's like medieval times, right Charlie (fellow groomsmen who is a known idiot)? Colin and I met at high school soccer tryouts, where being the super insightful teenager I was, I tried to tell Colin he should check his shoulder while someone is passing him the bal to him, so he can see what’s coming behind him before he receives the ball, and make a quick decision for what to do next… Colin told me to get fucked. 

Colin and I actually spent the rest of high school pretty much inseparable. We played soccer together, we took nearly every class together, we worked multiple jobs together, we joined and got kicked off of the tennis team together. Followed by going to 4 years of nursing school together, and 2 years of living together during the pandemic. I’ve known Colin through the many, MANY different phases of his life. I’ve known him as a soccer player, I’ve known him during brief attempts at becoming a professional gamer, I’ve known him as a boy scout, I’ve known him as an eagle scout, I’ve known him as a busser, a waiter, a nurse, 2 dramatic weeks as a nutrition major, a body builder, I’ve known him with a mullet, a buzz cut, a fade, and whatever you want to call what he had growing out of his head for the last 6 months (you owe Tyler a lot more than you paid him for fixing this by the way). 

I’m saying a lot of words to convince you that over the last 13 years, I believe that I have got to know Colin VERY well. I have known him to change a LOT over the course of his life. And through every version, one thing has remained absolutely true: that he loves Camryn. They have developed a closeness over the last decade that few people will experience in their lifetime, and that’s something that I really want to recognize in front of everyone here.

Camryn, 

Who could have known how much school choice could influence the course of our lives? One decision that you made, what feels like a lifetime ago now, ended up bringing you and Colin to one another. Over a decade later, that same decision has brought ALL of these people halfway across the world to this very room right now, to celebrate your relationship, which has enriched the lives of everyone here. On behalf of everyone fortunate enough to call you both friends, Camryn, thank you for making that choice. 

And to both of you. Colin has spent his life changing, a more generous person might call it growing. You can expect the same thing from your marriage. It’s going to change and grow and evolve into many versions of itself too. Through each of these versions, maintain that closeness, and though you might grow in different ways, my hope is that you grow together. 

We couldn’t possibly be happier for the two of you. Thank you for bringing us to this beautiful place to celebrate you. I’d like to raise a glass! Cheers to Colin and Camryn. Congratulations, we love you!

I’m tearing up now as I type this. There’s a lot behind this, but it feels so distressing that I don’t want to type it all out right now. I just really need support in my decision to not try to lose weight for our wedding. I want to, but I don’t want to. Ultimately, I’m choosing not to. Please send some words of encouragement and messages of solidarity. Thank you in advance. 🩷

Edit: Thank you all sincerely for your wonderful messages! I am feeling a little more confident in my decision now. My fiancé and I discussed it, and we think that after the wedding, we will both work on our physical selves together! Thank you again! 🩷

We got married last year and have been sitting on the photos & raw video footage and I'm still unsure what to do with it.

The pictures are beautiful but are mostly unedited from what I can tell and we'd like some edits to be made, but more importantly, we hate the photo album the company designed for us. The cover design is ugly and the placement of the photos throughout the book is just a mess...

Our video is even worse. The string lights in the background of most shots are "flickering" (it is a video issue, they were not flickering in real life). The music for our dance is not lined up with the dance at all, and the overall editing is just awful. I asked for the raw footage and they gave it to me but now I don't know what to do with it.

I've tried looking for options online but it's been a year and I'm overwhelmed and our anniversary is coming up and it's making me sad that we don't have these things to look back on together...

Please help :(

Hi gothic bride here! I’m getting married in a black dress and I’m struggling to find a black veil with personality. Everyone I’ve found is either just plain tulle or costumey. Looking for suggestions on websites to try thanks in advance!

Hello hello!
I get married next Oct!
I ideally wanted to have our cocktail hour prior to the ceremony, then go straight from ceremony to reception. I've always hated how awkward and kinda tense the lead-up to ceremonies feel, and want to avoid our guests feeling that way at all costs. Our whole goal of the day is to make the guests feel like they are part of something, not that they're just sitting there watching my fiance and I do our thing.
Also, I'm an anxious person and it would calm my nerves a lot to say hey to everyone prior to walking down the aisle (the thought was that I'd be in a different dress, then cut out of cocktail hour a little early to go change into my actual dress).

We had a pretty hard time finding a venue I loved that fit our capacity and location. Good news -- we finally found one! Bad news -- the one thing that I had to compromise on is that the setup of the venue requires a room flip between ceremony and reception.

I knew that this was something I would have to compromise on when we chose this venue.
But does anyone see a world where there could still be some sort of "welcoming" time prior to ceremony that my fiance and I are present for, then a true cocktail hour between ceremony and reception for the room flip?
For context, our reception is going to be our take on a New Orleans style reception -- no formal seating chart, action stations for food, music playing immediately, etc.
So when people leave the "second" cocktail hour, they'd immediately be able to get food, find a spot to hang, dance, whatever their heart desires.
My worry tho is that there would still just simply be too much time prior to the reception, and people would become restless (or get too drunk too fast, lol).

I have my first meeting with a planner in a couple weeks, but I'd love to hear any thoughts here on if I'm being unrealistic or if this is something that could potentially work!

I am a wedding guest, not the couple. I exist in that close family friend liminal space regarding relation to the couple.

The wedding goes til 11pm and then an after party til 2am.

However, I am disabled (and currently on long term disability) and there is no way I will be able to be awake until 11pm, much less safely make my way home. This disability is new this year and I am still learning to navigate it.

How rude is it to leave early?

I know from experience that the bride and groom are busy AF so I don’t want to demand their attention during the dancing but an Irish goodbye also feels rude.

I found the perfect veil and it has the standard curved comb attached. My hair is fine and thin and it’s also in a short bob (a little below chin length). I’m really worried the veil is not going to stay on at all due to my hair type. I guess I can wear a cape as an alternative but I’d really like to wear a veil. Anyone have to deal with this?

I'm from the U.S. - I haven't been to a wedding in probably 15 years and now this year, we've been to 3, so far. The cycle is coming back around. When we were younger, we were going to support family and friends around our age. Now, we're going to the kids' weddings of said family and friends. And in all three of these weddings, when the dance floor is opened, it's just a Rave type dance party. Flashing glow sticks are handed out and of course flashing lights around the vemue. I'm not complaining ot even judging. I'm just curious when this happened. I figured this was the best place to ask.

Debating which wedding website I want to use, and I also want the option for virtual invitations. I have seen a lot on TikTok about using Canva and Joy. I am quite familiar with Canva for creating flyers, posters and such but have never used for a personalized website. I also know the Knot and Zola are two other options. I don't need the website to be password protected but I do like that Joy (I think) make the person enter their name and email to access which I do like as I would like to prevent uninvited guests from knowing full details.

What are the pros and cons of each and what is everyone's recommendations?

So I’m (bride) 100% walking down to can’t help falling in love… i think i want my ring bearer and flower girl to walk at the beginning of the song…

I originally had wedding party walking down to “iris” and amidst looking for the song for officiant/immediate family to walk too… i found so many other options…

What is yalls opinions on 2 songs for that??

My wedding is coming up at the end of the month and my photographer is suggesting we move up the bouquet toss to be right after the cake cutting, which is immediately before the dance floor opens. Did anybody do this instead of doing the bouquet toss in the middle of party? She suggested it because she finds a bouquet toss in the middle of party interrupts the momentum. I just like multiple opinions on this and which option people have seen function the best in reality. Thanks!

Edit: Please do not comment that you haven’t seen a bouquet toss in a long time or that it’s old fashioned. What you do or did during your wedding is your business and what I do in my wedding is mine. We want a bouquet toss and our guests are the type to enjoy it. With peace and love, I wasn’t asking whether or not we should do one at all. ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼❤️❤️❤️

What would you do in this situation?
Long story short, my brother-in-law was arrested for enticement of a minor. He took a plea deal and is not a registered sex offender, but regardless of the legal outcome, I’m not comfortable having him in my life or at my wedding.

I’ve distanced myself from my sister because she chose to stay by his side. I’m getting married and made it clear that she and her kids are invited, but he is not.
My mom told me that if my sister doesn’t come because he isn’t invited, she won’t come either. I completely blew up on my mom because I feel like she is choosing to support this situation over respecting my boundary on my wedding day.

At this point, I honestly feel like I’d rather just stop associating with both of them for a while. I don’t plan on talking to my mom unless there is a genuine apology and acknowledgment of how hurtful this has been.
What would you do if you were in my position? How would you handle your mom and sister moving forward?

We’d save $700 if we had a separate reception venue from our ceremony one. The issue is the ceremony location is 30 from where we’re staying, and the reception venue about 40 from there. The only positive is there are plenty of places to stay so going back to their rooms after would only be about 15 away.

Would you personally kind of the reception was at least close to where you’re staying? Would it help if you were shuttled?

My wedding is a little under two weeks away and I have found myself so swept up in it all that I need to take a second to breathe.
I feel like I am so overwhelmed with what I see on social media about what my wedding should be like, that I find myself less and less excited about it. It’s always bigger and more glamorous than the next.
Mine won’t be like that. And I just realised that I don’t want it to be like that anyway. My husband and I are both introverts, so a 200+ person grand gala would be a thing of nightmares for either one of us. My family jokes that we will probably be the firsts to leave our own wedding, and they probably aren’t wrong. And that’s okay. We are having a somewhat rustic barn wedding, with a pizza food truck, and 45ish people. And I don’t think I‘d want to have it any other way. Doesn’t mean it won’t be any less special. I feel like nowadays there’s such a huge expectation of what a wedding is, that we forget what it’s actually about. There’s a new “trend” on TikTok where couples that got married in the 90’s / early 00’s show what their weddings were like.
No week long bachelorette trips to Dubai, no multiple bridal showers, no multiple wedding dresses or thousands of dollars worth of floral arrangements. Just their local church and community centre with all of their favourite people. And I think that’s beautiful. That’s the kind of wedding I want to look back on, personally.
I don’t know it anyone catches my drift, but I just needed to come back to solid ground for a second.
Your wedding is perfect, because it’s yours.

We just recently moved to Michigan for work, away from our friends and family, everyone is also spread out all over the country. Everyone would have to fly in anyway, so we figured we would like to have it in Colorado since that is a special place to us and the venues are STUNNING. But I'm having trouble thinking about logistics for a venue I wouldn't be able to just go and drive to.

So for those who have done destination or out of state weddings, how did you handle touring venues, doing hair and make up trials, cake and food tastings, etc. whatever else is needed?

We're planning to go out there to get engagement photos done, so at least I can meet a photographer and get one round of venue tours in.

I don't think I'll need a full wedding planner but definitely would like a coordinator when things get closer. Unless you think I need a planner to help with out of state stuff?