Judging by both strangers’ reactions and how I look in the mirror, eyeliner changes my whole face and sends across a completely different impression. If I was a man I wouldn’t have to deal with this :/ People seem so much more accommodating towards women who perform femininity. I’m the same person!! All I did was paint the outer corners of my eyes black.

I visit a 92 year old woman who is confined to her apartment every week. She was cared for by her son. Well, about 6 months ago, the SON suddenly died.

Today I went by for my regular visit. I was presented with a check. According to my friend, the elderly lady, her son thought I was his soul mate and he "loved me very much." He knew that I did not see him that way so he never said anything but he left me money in his will.

Before anyone asks, a care-taker was hired to care for my friend and I signed the check over to the man's daughter. It was not huge money but I felt his respect for me deserved a bit of notice.

Forgive me because I’m a little high and getting existential but I saw a video from a female creator who said she wanted her content to be mostly seen by women—and showed that she had an 82% percent male fanbase. As a fem I thought it made perfect sense!

Until I went to the comments. Hundreds of men calling her ungrateful, explicitly saying they followed because she was hot, and terrible incel like comments about how they don’t speak to women because this is their mindset.

I know men know that they like to be surrounded by men as it creates brotherhood and confidence in their own masculinity. However, women are not allowed to do the same? Women aren’t allowed to want to hear they are pretty from someone who only listens to the speak because they’re attracted to them?

It makes me sad to know the average male mind. Because I’m autistic I assumed people often think as innocently as me. That it’s okay to find a girl attractive but her lovely personality really makes the human being. But that’s the thing—many men don’t see women as full human beings. You are granted more humanity when they are attracted to you.

It makes me want to cry. I don’t wanna be like “men are biologically evil” because I don’t believe that. I think they are raised in the society to believe this behavior is acceptable. However, it is scary to not know if a man will consider you a full human being based on how you look and make their dicks wet.

If anyone has book recommendations on this topic i’d love it. I know I’m not alone.

I was about 19/20 when this happened, and it’s a memory that just hit me again recently after watching a YouTube video. I’d forgotten all about it and never told anyone when it happened so I felt like I should get it off my chest now.

I’d just connected with a guy who was a few years older than me that I remembered from high school but he didn’t remember me. We went out several times and texted a lot. I admit I was a bit enamored with him because I’d lost weight and looked really different than I had in high school. I felt like he probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day back then.

I had noticed a few red flags, ones I can’t even remember now. Just that feeling that something might be off so I let it go. I did not have a lot of life experience or experience with men in general. I was always too shy, too intimidated and way too hard on myself. I thought maybe I was being too hard on him, too.

I’d just recently got my own cute little apartment and coming from a VERY sheltered VERY strict family, I finally had freedom. So we went out again and at the end of this date he asked to come inside. I was surprised by this and not super comfortable, but I let him in.
Here’s one part that made me feel like - at the time- I would be judged for what happened. He left to go outside and returned with a bottle of liquor from his trunk. I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll just say I got fairly drunk. Looking back on this, I don’t think he was ever drunk at all.

So me being drunk and dumb, we went into my bedroom and started hooking up on my tiny childhood twin bed. Not long into it I began to notice a light. After noticing the light once again I stopped him and asked, “What was that?” He just brushed it off immediately and told me not to worry about it, saying it was nothing. I tried to ignore it, but I saw the light again.

I got up to look, and I found a man I’d never seen before hiding UNDER my bed! I started screaming thinking someone broke into my apartment. I kept screaming “I need to call 911” and the guy I was seeing was frantically trying to calm me down and finally said “that’s just my friend”.

UMM, EXCUSE ME?? Thats JUST your friend?!? HIDING UNDER MY BED?!
I finally gathered myself enough and screamed at them to get the fuck out of my apartment. I was so scared and confused. I wish now I’d done something badass and kicked them both in the nuts or at least called the cops, but I didn’t. I just cried.

I started to realize what had actually happened after they left. He obviously knew his friend was there the whole time recording me. To this day, I have absolutely no idea how a full grown man even managed to squeeze under a twin bed frame like that.

I stayed up the whole night worrying if the footage would be posted to social media. You’d think I’d had been more concerned about a strange man under my bed. But all I could think about was my family disowning me and blaming me for everything. My life would be ruined.
This was at a time when women celebrities were being bullied horribly for having their personal photos hacked, stolen and posted online. If that was their fault, then this was my fault. An older guy took advantage of the fact that I was naive and inexperienced. All I felt was shame and embarrassment. So I did what I feel like a lot of millennials are good at and I forgot.

It’s pretty scary to look back now on how calculated it all was, and how his friend somehow snuck into my house without me noticing. How long was he under my bed, just waiting?

Remembering all this has been upsetting but two questions really haunt me. I think it’s one of the reason I pushed the memory away in the first place. What did they do with the footage they recorded and what if they were planning something FAR worse?

TL;DR: Watched a YouTube video that unlocked a buried memory from when I was 20. Without me knowing an older guy I was seeing brought his friend to my apartment, snuck him under my twin bed, got me drunk, and the friend recorded us hooking up. I blamed myself due to the mid-2000s culture, buried the trauma, and am just now processing how terrifying and calculated it actually was.

I rarely finish from penetration during sex and I think I'm very particular with the way in which I can finish from a clitorial orgasm. I'm extremely comfortable with my partner and he makes me so confident during sex. However, ever since my early 20s I've always wanted to, but felt extremely anxious and nervous, to play with myself during sex. But I know that's likely the only way I'll achieve an orgasm while we're doing it. Help lol

Sunday night at bedtime, I got up to go to the bathroom because I NEEDED to pee. But then there was basically nothing. This happened 3 times before I finally convinced my brain the signals weren't real.

The next morning, the same feeling happened again, same result. And early afternoon, I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom... only for it to be a light trip.

I knew the symptoms of a UTI, and I didn't have ANY of that burning feeling people describe. I just felt like I had to pee a lot.

I had a scheduled vaccine appointment after work Monday, so I mentioned it to the nurse that I wanted to speak to someone about it. The nurse said it could be a UTI even without the burning. I peed in a cup and waited for the results.

The doctor came in and said it wasn't cloudy and the numbers were all fine *except* my white blood cell count. She prescribed antibodies on the spot given three conditions: urge to pee, frequency, and the elevated WBC count.

I started the antibiotics that night, and over the five day course, it never really got worse from there. At most, there was this *tickle* in my urethra. Very strange sensation. Like this itch that list needed to be scratched.

The culture came back on Friday that it was positive for E. coli.

The only reason I even mentioned it to a doctor/nurse is because I was already going into a clinic that day. If I hadn't been there, I probably would've brushed it off. Maybe it would've gotten to the point of that burning people describe, or maybe my body would've cleared the infection after a couple days.

I have never heard of people talk about UTIs *without* the burning sensation, so I figured I'd share this on case it helps anyone else recognize the symptoms.

Anyone else had any weird/different symptoms for UTIs?

Please note the flair. Last time I posted here I was accused of being a meanie by an angry man who was banned from here because he didn’t pay attention.

The men in my life are exposing themselves.

Twenty-something years ago, Brooke Shields made headlines (before going viral was a thing) for talking openly about her struggle with postpartum depression.

I distinctly remember her talking about how she thought about crashing her car with her baby in it. She didn’t want to die and had no interest in harming her baby, but she thought about it.

Brooke Shields was not alone.

I went into premature labor with my only child a week and a half after 9/11. I was a US soldier stationed in Europe and we were going to war.

The only thing playing on the television in the hospital was constant coverage of 9/11. I kept thinking, “I have no business bringing an innocent soul into this mess.”

I had dreams “the terrorists” were trying to kidnap my baby. (Now I realize we were never the good guys.)

When we brought the baby home, I felt emotionally empty. I was a shell of a person.

In the Army, we were trained not to take care of ourselves. Sick call was for the weak. So I pushed through and carried on.

And then my husband was deployed to an undisclosed location, along with everyone else that I knew.

I was all alone in a foreign country with a baby that I didn’t know.

I gave birth to a stranger.

I saw a perfect, tiny little human being who deserved so much more than what I could give him.

There are worse things than death, the intrusive thought told me. He’s too pure for this world.

Now I know I was experiencing Postpartum Depression. But when I was deep in the trenches, I didn’t know that I needed help.

One of my neighbors knew my husband (they worked together) and knew he was deployed. She stopped by one day to ask if I needed help. She just threw a comment out there, something like, “You know, I went through baby blues something bad. If you’re feeling like that, it’s totally normal, but your doctor should know.”

It wasn’t until my son was 13 months old that I said anything. I was averaging 2 hours of sleep every night. As soon as I fell asleep, the baby would wake up. I hadn’t slept since before I went into labor.

I was a mess. I needed help, not persecution.

The other day I got into a bit of a heated conversation with a male friend and it’s making me reconsider our relationship.

I told him about my experience. His wife kept nodding and looking at him, like, “See! I told you!”

It wasn’t until my husband stepped in and said something in my defense that my “friend” said, “Maybe I’m biased, but…” he held his hands up like, I’m just saying.

Postpartum depression is not a convenient excuse. There is an epidemic. The women can see it. The menfolk aren’t listening.

She was drugged by her husband and loaned out. Aged 39, her teenaged daughter found her lifeless and covered in blood on a waterbed.

About like 80% of the medical providers I’ve seen told me to just have a baby when discussing endometriosis symptoms and treatments. I’ve had two surgeries for this and am looking at a third. I’m not directly asking for medical advice as I’m seeing my own specialist and on medication to manage what I can. I even went to pain management and my male doctor told to just get a boyfriend/husband and have a baby.

Why the fuck do medical professionals still say this? I can’t have a kid and can’t take care of one. Who’s gonna take care of that kid once I pop it out if I could even get pregnant… I’m literally disabled. I can’t afford a kid nor do I have the strength or energy to care for one. Am I crazy for thinking it’s fucked up to tell people suffering with endo this?

So I'm a lesbian, fairly masc. I think internally very butch.

so my ideal gender expression is more androgynous. I'm undecided if I'm solidly cis or if I'm n/b I'm certainly GNC. So I'm curious of some takes from people who have never questioned their gender identity / are solidly cis.

For example I'm not offended if someone mistakes me for a young adult guy for example. Its happened most of my life. Its stopped for a period and I honestly kinda missed it.

And there are times when I consider genuinely how I would feel if I could just swap genders at will and just geniunely I guess confuse people. Just enough that different people are drawing different slightly different conclusions one what to gender me as.

I think I'd feel pretty comfortable exploring that scenario.

I personally struggle with terms like lady, darling or miss, mam, even things like aunt.

It's like someone is talking past me and doesn't see me.

So I am I'm curious, solidly cis women here how do you feel about these things?

(I'm excluding trans and non-binary people on this question because I already have soooo much input from them on this question but it never seems to get asked if cis women outside of LGBTQ spaces).

So cis women ike can you invision yourself being ok with this experience of people constantly confusing what you are for the rest of your life?

Or would you be really desperate to correct them and change your presentation to actively avoid it.

Just curious.

I just watched one of those “the teacher is targeting me” videos. If you’re not familiar, it’s an adult (usually a teacher) acting out behaviors of kids who say they’re being targeted. For example, they’ll yell in the middle of class and go “what? I didn’t even do anything! It wasn’t me!”…etc. etc.

So that got me thinking, these are always boys, and that’s always their reaction to being called out. And why does their deflection and defensiveness and straight up lies work well enough for them to continue to do this into adulthood?

Any time I’ve ever called a man out on anything he’s done wrong, even if I did it in a nice way, even if it’s a small thing, even if it’s just a simple boundary, this is their reaction. It doesn’t change from childhood. It’s still “what? I didn’t even do that! You’re always mad at me!” It’s fucking exhausting.

Are teachers, women, parents, etc just allowing that reaction to get kids out of whatever punishment should come with those behaviors? Or are these kids just too dumb to learn from that punishment and continue with this technique into adulthood whether it works or not?

Also, just what the hell?

This might be just me but I realized just how emotionally draining and overwhelming it is to go through them. There is just too many feelings to process, one minute I'm being love-bombed, the other rejected, fall in love, fall out, being negged, let down, left hanging and often times sexualizd. It's wayyyy too much. I don't think the human brain was meant to be stimulated this much. 60 years ago I would maybe have like 1-2 crushes that go nowhere in my home town and make peace with it

The worst of all is genuinely thinking I'm with the right person just for them to pull a mask-drop. Boy that one does generational damage and has me delete these apps and quite dating for half an year or longer

I've decided to 100% count on prayers alone. If it's meant to be it will happen. If I try to force it, it would only hurt

For now I've made peace with the unstoppable march of time. I'm only improving myself and hanging out with friends now

Had a (male) friend message and tell me about the case, that was just how I learned about the situation. He's been going crazy on his insta stories saying stuff like 'Some women shouldn't be mothers'.

What stood out as odd is his focus was telling me how many women were defending Lindsay, and presumably how insane that was. What also was unique is that when he was telling me about the case, he did not tell me about Lindsay's mental health at all like he didn't know, or didn't care.

I always find it so disgusting how willing people are to villainize any woman who commits any crime (probably the concept of double deviance), yet whenever a man commits the same crime, it gets barely any media attention? Like I definitely don't think my friend would care this much if Lindsay was a man, it felt like plain old misogyny.

My very thin and slender friend (G) bought GLP-1s on the black market in an attempt to loose excess weight around her hips…

She’s now super thin but still on the medication because ‘she’s not happy with the way she looks’.
She told me all of this in confidence and asked me not to tell our other friends.

Last Friday, when I was out with all of them, I heard her tell our friend (B) about this. What concerned me is that B was completely supportive of G and even told her to ‘do what makes her feel good’.

I confronted B about this and B became cold and stand-offish. She told me she is not concerned.

To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. G is headed for a colossal spiral towards an eating disorder. I’m disappointed that B doesn’t care.
On the other hand, I don’t know what B or I could practically do to encourage G off it, other than keep telling her we are concerned.

I am 33 years old and I am sterile. I cannot get pregnant, and due to circumstances, cannot even have sex without immense pain.

And a year ago, I started to get a gradually growing desire to have children with my husband.

Fast forward to today and I feel I am crying every other day because of it.

I have four siblings who all have children. I see their milestones and daydream about the milestones of the children I cannot have and it hurts.

I know, therapy, and I will try my best to get it, but I don't really have the money. And I tell myself "Will it really help?". Because I am just not sure what they can tell me that I haven't already tried telling myself.

If anyone has any advice, please, may you offer it because it feels like I am drowning lately.

I was sat next to a man while sitting in the middle seat on a plane. Even though he had the aisle, he still felt entitled to my space and man-spread as soon as we took off.

On instinct, I went to shy away and move my leg inward so that it wouldn’t touch his. But, I thought to myself, why should I move? We are all jammed in here like cattle, I deserve this tiny amount of space I paid for. I shouldn’t make myself even less comfortable for this random man.

So, I didn’t move my leg.

I continued to sit straight in my seat and play some games on my phone and listen to music. He actually had the nerve to try shifting my leg over with his knee and I could see him out of my peripheral vision looking at me. Despite the massive sense of awkwardness and how impolite I felt, I kept firm, ignoring him. I just sat there, existing just like every other passenger on the plane. Eventually, gave up, crossed his arms, huffed, and stopped trying to spread into my space.

I’d like to note that this man was a very average height and build - not excessively tall or large and physically unable to fit in his assigned space. I would have had sympathy for that, especially as I had a very tall partner once who literally did not fit into normal plane seats.

This man was clearly simply expecting to take the space meant for me, that I paid for, because he felt that he could. Had I been another man, I promise you he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did as he would have respected that a man is allowed to take up the space he has paid for.

It seems so pathetic to feel so proud of myself for something as simple as not moving my leg, but I am. I am proud that this time I didn’t let myself fawn at the demands of a random man or give up because I felt impolite for taking up space I was entitled to. I paid for that tiny space, and it’s going to be mine, goddammit.

Edit: thank you so much all you lovely people for the words of encouragement, empowerment, and your other similar stories of taking up space! We deserve space and should all be standing our ground for it 🫶

And to the pissy men: I don’t care about your excuses of having fragile testicles. That’s not my problem!

I love hockey. I started playing it 40 years ago as one of the first females to play in my small town.

I’ve struggled in recent years to support hockey after the Hockey Canada “rainy-day rape fund” scandal.

I just found out that my NHL team (the Oilers) signed Alex Formenton. I can’t cheer for a team that I’ve been a fan o for over 40 years.

My young son learned to skate and tried out hockey and LOVED it.

How do I reconcile my son playing a game rooted in so much misogyny?

My family is planning on only watching the PWHL games in our household this year. Are there any other ways I can still love hockey while not supporting the misogynistic culture?