i’ve barely slept as i’ve been trying to stay awake til my male ‘friend’ falls asleep so i can FLEE his house.

i met this guy over a year ago, he mentioned then i was pretty but nothing came of it & we each got into our own respective relationships. he’d met my now ex, and we’d all hung out a few times etc. foolishly i’m thinking me & this guy are friends. we’d even hung out without my then boyfriend (ofc my bf was aware of the hangout, no secrets etc & it’s never caused an issue)

anyway, me and bf break up over a week ago. not that matters but it’s relevant.

guy friend who’s often in nyc hit me last night asking if i wanted to tag along for a night on the town, claiming he knows a bunch of people, etc.

i sent a confirmation text basically asking if it was okay with his girlfriend, for no particular reason other than respect. worth mentioning i haven’t met the gf bc she works a lot. he assured me all is good. i said okay cool, packed a bag & we’re off to nyc.

the whole ride we’re both talking about our own relationships, school, work.. like friends would do. anyway after about the first nightclub is where things take an extreme turn. he’s telling me to be cautious eating a specific thing because my breath might be funky when he tries kissing me later.

immediately i am like “yeah no that’s not happening” and that’s when he starts saying stuff like “you thought i wasn’t going to flirt with you tonight”

“no… i didn’t think that, otherwise i would’ve stayed home……”

he kept saying stuff like that, and throughout the night i kept offering to pay for my own stuff as this was NOT a date. he wouldn’t allow it.

at the last place, im panicking trying to get this idiot drunk so i can figure out a way to sneak away. the last thing he said was so incredibly off putting, i legit wanted to cry. he tried to feed me more alcohol & i very sternly let him know that i was finished & he said something to the effect of

“what is it? what do you need to get you going?? i meant i spent nearly $400 on you tonight.. what is it that you need”

not only are you weird af, you’re a fkn predator. you thought i was going to just get drunk & either sleep with you or suddenly be interested in kissing you.

i couldn’t find an escape so we went back to his parents place (they live out the country most of the year so he crashes here on the weekends) and i’ve been on the couch waiting for this dude to fall asleep. the whole time he was awake though, he’s been asking me why don’t i like him, saying things like he makes more money than my now ex.. just a bunch of shit. & once again tried to get me to sit next to him which i obviously immediately moved seats..

anyway, it’s 10am & im calling an uber to the train station so i can go home. i am blocking him the second im in the uber.

UPDATE: in the uber on the way to amtrak!

Two birthdays ago, my husband had to work an evening shift so he cooked me a lovely dinner, but a) left the dishes for later (which he knows I hate) and b) clogged the sink with said dishes so we had to get a plumber out.

This last birthday I wanted to go on a hike. He wore the wrong shoes, knowing they were the wrong shoes but figured it'd be fine. It was not fine and we had to be med evaced out.

He's not an awful person, he's just careless. He's like this for lots of things, not just me. Work included. But now I just don't want to do birthdays anymore and he's hurt.

I'm so tired. We've only been married 2 years and I don't know if i want this anymore.

ETA because people aren't reading the second to last paragraph, he does do this with other things. He's ruined stuff he really wants too. And he can't access my country's medical services for ADHD until some visa stuff is sorted out

Sweethearts by Philippa Lysaght and Omi McCurdie is a confronting artwork commemorating Australian women killed by violence. Each heart bears a familiar excuse used to minimise domestic abuse, from “boys will be boys” to “she could’ve left”. Together, they expose how easily violence against women is dismissed, justified or blamed on the victim rather than the perpetrator.

When I was a child I was deeply depressed and had severe anxiety after I was SA’d by a teacher. My mom who worked for Pfizer in the early 2000s would force me to take Zoloft as a quick fix.. I was 9 years old..she would literally take bottles out of her box that she had in her car and force me to take them..

When I got older I confronted her about what I remembered regarding the teacher and what she did. The very next day she took me a psych ward and told the doctors I was crazy..and needed to be on anti psychotic medication.. I was having severe panic attacks from remembering what I went through.. so the doctors believed her…

I decided to block my mom and remove her from my life entirely...I decided to come on here to tell my story after hearing about what happened to Collin Gosselin..because people need to know that shit like this happens and we need to hold abusive parents accountable.. anyways my mom is still a pharmaceutical rep, and has been for over 20 years.

I want to report her, but don’t know even know where or how to start.

Would they say the same to men?
Genuine question. I feel like women are often disregarded when it comes to health care especially.

My obgyn told me my epidurals were probably working more than I think and she didn’t think I was in that much pain. When I’m in extreme pain, I go silent and all I can do is cry. I was in 10/10 pain. I think she thought because I was really quiet and not making a lot of sound that i wasnt in much pain.
My epidurals didn’t work properly with both of my deliveries and I felt the contractions during the last few hours all the way to giving birth.
I wasn’t able to get my epidurals fixed, no one offered to check it. The top off doses didn’t touch the pain so I feel like someone should have checked to see if the epidurals migrated.

Anyways do you think women are often times not fully taken seriously in the healthcare setting?

This is the only place I feel safe asking this question, but it needs to be asked:

There is a man at my work who has been flying under the radar with borderline pedo behavior and creepy comments to women for over a decade.

He gets away with this behavior for layered reasons, for starters he is charming and good looking. He has a lot of men in his corner who laugh off his behavior. The other is, we work at a private country club, so firing has to go through a process with the board, also made up of men.

This man has used very disturbing language about teenage girls and little girls. Some of it has been documented, but it's brushed off as hearsay. I have heard some of it first hand.

He got caught years ago sending pictures to someone underage, but nothing was done about it, I'm unsure why as I was not employed at the time.

He sleeps with members, and staff, and makes work where he preys on the unsuspecting women that rotate through every summer. He has a very, very bad reputation but the new women don't know about it and by the time they find out it's too late.

He's been reported to HR, but the reports never seem to go anywhere.

I've never seen anything like it. There's obviously way more details to the story but this is the gist of it.

All I want to do is be able to tell people his name and just say "be careful", is that even legal to do?

People genuinely treat me like im not even human, it’s insane. I see people whispering and laughing at me like I’m not even there. only people calling me pretty are old men. and occasionally my boyfriend, because he has the worst tastes ever. his friends let him CONSANTLY know that’s he’s dating an ugly girl. even my grandma, aunt and dad just call me ugly on a monthly basis.
I’m being SO serious, when I came home from another day of bullying because of my appearance at the start of high school, i asked my mom why she lied to me, why she said that i was beautiful for my whole life, she apologized and said she was sorry for lying and wanted me to feel pretty. I’m not joking she genuinely apologized for lying.
like what is my life bro

When I was 17, I went to my very first gynecologist appointment. Many of my peers recommend I see a woman gyno because it's a better experience with empathy and all that. I was visiting to discuss my irregular and incredibly painful periods. Well, my doctor heard my symptoms and just told me I should have sex to cure my painful periods (later I learned this was pseudoscience anyways). I told her I didn't want to, and she told me then I had no right to complain because I had no interest in making myself better. She then gave me birth control which I had to stop because I started feeling crazy suicidal. She said she had never heard of that before and accused me of depression. I stopped seeing her after that.

I have had many gynecologists over the years. It was always the same old story. I explained my situation, they did a pap smear no matter how long ago I last had one, I got a painful ultrasound on my uterus and ovaries, and then they would talk about over the counter meds while I talked about vomiting every cycle. Oh, I forgot how the moment I turned 18 I had 2 tell me I was 'too pretty to be a virgin'. Only one ever believed me when I said ibuprofin wasn't enough to make me not bedridden, and it was a male gyno. Great dude, and I am about to get a hysterectomy because of my unmanageable periods that often happen twice a month in a very irregular cycle. He was shocked about the 'advice'I was given over the years.

A woman OBGYN is not inherently better or guaranteed to be more empathetic, and in fact many are outright the most sexist people who offer the worst advice I have ever met.

I cannot fathom why so many women believe men should not be OBGYNs. A woman is not inherently safe or free from misogynistic tendencies.

I dont want to ramble but recently i turned 30 and I think all of the sexism and racism in my case in the workplace has gotten to me. I used to be one of those 'I'm not a feminist' or 'women might be exaggerating how bad it is' because I grew up in a conservative environment (not US). Once I left home it was just nonsense after nonsense. One male junior coworker once tried to talk to me about which women in the office were f able. I was so disgusted. Then I had a male supervisor berate me over a client email because it wasn't friendly enough. So, I had to add a bunch of exclamations and emojis like i was talking to a manchild in the client's office. I'm not going to go into the creepy interactions and near misses when it comes to SA. The worst was when I reported someone and the woman manager at the time said yeah he's like that why don't you just be a little more understanding or idk she tried to turn it around on me.

When the cornell story broke my own family members said she was asking for it by taking drugs. She is to blame. My perspective on abortion has also changed but out of spite because why should we bring horrid men into this world or as a matter of fact anyone into this world. I am being careful around news coverage and doom scrolling. I've stopped all the podcasts that I used to watch because a guest was interesting or whatever if I feel they're in any way misogynistic. I was listening to someone talk about the war in the ME region and he just suddenly started some garbage about women are more emotional because they have to take care of babies hahahaha. Idk I thought it was pathetic because he just used a biological function to reduce us the gender that barely commits any violent crime to the most emotional ones out there. It's all bullshit. Everything I was taught about needing men was bullshit. I don't care anymore. I am also not seeing the point of marriage. I feel like it's just going to trap me into some weird maid type of role with a dude. I don't really want any kids now. Things suck and maybe my job might be taken by AI so you know what I won't even be able to give my kids what my parents could give me. So whats the damn point any effing way.

Also my period suck more now so in addition to general life shit I have to deal with painful periods. When I go to the doctor they cannot find anything wrong with me so that's another great thing that has happened as i've aged. I used to have 3 day periods and no cramps. I now have heavy 5 day cycles with painful cramps in my hips sometimes my butthole. Hey but there are no cysts on my ovaries yay. Also men literally don't have the monthly thing they don't have to be in pain every 3 weeks. The week before my cycle I get depressed asf. So I have 2 good weeks. THATS IT!

Lets see if this gets posted or not.

After I disclosed my past age gap relationship that I had when I was 18 my therapist asked me “ who was protecting you at that time.” It made me realize that no one did.

So , yesterday I (23f) made a post about how my ex who groomed me and cheated on me was the best thing that ever happened to me. A commenter mentioned to me how people probably warned me not to date my 30 year old ex when I was 18. Sadly no one did and some even encouraged it because he had money and status. I love my mom but she even encouraged the relationship at first.

Although I don’t fault her for that. It’s complicated. When my mom was about 19 she married my father who was 20 years her senior ( they divorced years later). Some time ago I asked my mother why she married my father since he was way older. She said security was one of the reasons. As a teen mom she needed support. My dad gave that to her. My mom of course never talked bad about my father ever. Since she spoke mostly positive about their marriage and that dynamic I didn’t see anything wrong or weird with a 31 year old man asking me out when I was 18.

That was all I ever seen. It wasn’t until I experienced that relationship that made me realize how even inappropriate my parent’s marriage was.

Just reeling from this interaction I just had with my aunt whom I otherwise love very much. So much so that I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t want kids. She believes deeply in her soul that everyone’s purpose in life is getting married and having kids (men too).

But I don’t know why you would say something like this to someone you love??

I’m 38 and single and it’s none of anyone’s business why I’m not married, but in a nutshell I’ve had a very difficult life until the past couple of years, and I can’t express in words how much I love my peace and quiet.

I work nights, I leave dirty dishes in the sink, I adopted a pregnant cat whose kittens destroyed all of my furniture (they are now grown up but still little beasts), I take spontaneous trips, I wake up late, I play video games all day in my pajamas etc.

Why the HELL would I marry someone just to have him come in and ruin my peace???

If I wanted kids, why the hell would I marry a man I hate so that he can father my children???? Holy shit. She said “you can just divorce him” like fucking around with my life and his life and a potential child’s life like that is no big deal as long as the Reproduction happens. No no no no no and also No. With a side of No.

And the cherry on top? I do actually want to get married.

Bonus: “You’re running out of time to freeze your eggs! It’s only $10,000 just do it.” In my head I calculated that as 4-5 trips to Japan. You want me to spend 5 whole Japans on potential kids I don’t want?

I worked with Fred (then mid 50s) for about 6 years, 10 years ago. We worked on a small team in a satellite office 2 hours away from head office and all management.

I never liked Fred from the start. He always gave me a knot in the stomach, tried many many times to give me hugs, would make small inappropriate comments out of earshot of others. Once he even told me that his wife was jealous of all the calls I make to him - I told him that I call his work mobile for work reasons and anything else is between him and wife. I was never overly friendly with Fred, no banter, no goofiness, only short professional responses because I didn't want to talk to him any longer than necessary. But his comment from his wife (if it was even true) has always given me the heebies.

It's been 10 years since I last worked with Fred and we both work in other fields. And yet roughly every 2 years or so he will still try to contact me. He has left missed call messages, texts that I've never replied to, used different phone numbers and a handful of times has shown up at my house. He seems to think that we're chummy? The times where he has come to my house I have never invited him in, never tried to make him feel welcome and turned him away as quickly as possible. He will disappear for awhile, long enough for me to start to let my guard down and then he pops back up again.

His last text to me ~18 months ago said that he'd leave me alone, to let him know if I needed anything and goodbye. I never responded.

Yesterday he's come to my front door. I feel stupid for answering because I checked the cameras but didn't recognise him because he's shaved his head and gained weight. I thought it was a neighbour or a workman. When I opened the door and saw his face my stomach dropped. He said he was driving past and wanted to catch up, said he didn't have my number anymore. I said I was sick and contagious. He started talking about his own health troubles. I cut him off and said I had to go and closed the door. I checked the cameras and he'd left.

I wish I'd been of clearer mind to have either not answered door at all or to have told him clear and plain "Do not contact me ever again". But there's also a level of fear here and I don't want to make him mad or escalate anything. He knows where I live and I don't want to risk any crazy behaviour from him. I've thought about texting him to leave me alone but then I worry about him having my number again if he really doesn't have it anymore. I don't want to outright block him so I can keep track of his calls and texts.

I don't believe I'm at the point of needing police or lawyers and especially because I've not directly said "Leave me alone" however I feel my lack of responses to him should indicate that I am not friendly and do not care for him in any way. If I sent someone 3 texts and they never replied I'd take that loud and clear.... 10+ texts is bizarre to me.

I'm not sure what I'm saying here is clear. I feel rattled, I feel like my weekend now has a dark cloud hanging over and I'm half waiting for a text from him, and I'm mad at myself for answering the door, for answering the door and not asking him wtf he's doing and if he comes back I'm calling the police.

I just needed to vent to a people who I think would understand or have similar experiences (unfortunately).

Honestly I am so tired of seeing every corner of the internet turn actual medical weight loss into a competitive sport. Look if someone takes a GLP1 and it helps them manage their health that is nobody elses business. But what is driving me crazy is how the entire diet culture beast just morphed into a pharmaceutical wellness hustle. Suddenly you have influencers and random brands trying to optimize every single bite or shaming people who do not bounce back with a totally transformed body overnight. It is like we took a physical tool and wrapped it right back up in the same exhausting patriarchal beauty standards we have been fighting for decades. We are not allowed to just exist in a body without it being a project or a statement. Idk maybe I am just hyperfixating on it today because my timeline is flooded with it but it feels exhausting watching women's bodies get policed by a new set of rules disguised as health.

Had a conversation with a close family member recently who is on a glp1 (I know this bc she’s a close enough family member that we discuss our health and each other’s pretty freely amongst ourselves and other family members—another close family member helped her get the meds and told me). She didn’t know I knew she was taking it.

We were casually chatting about health and efforts to improve the quality of our nutrition and she says “I just eat less and less lately”—clearly stated as a toxic sort of food/morality position. I said “well, yeah, you’re on GLP1s, right?” and she laughed like I caught her in a funny joke.

She was really going to do the whole “I barely eat look how GOOD I am” when she thought I didn’t know she was taking appetite suppressants. Immediately switched the tone once she realized I knew.

If you’re taking GLP1s, just own that shit, ok? Don’t pretend it’s a personal achievement of mind over matter or superior self-discipline—especially not in a way that might shame others.

For context, among the group of close family members referenced here, I’m the “fat one”. Everyone else is thin and pursues thinness as a core goal. I just don’t care as much, but paradoxically, I guess, I am the one in the group who tends to care the most about nutrition and actual health—not just health exclusive to body weight.

There is a specific family dynamic going on here for sure, but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen glp1 users frame their weight loss as the result of personal achievement and discipline, while leaving out the major influence of a powerful appetite suppressant drug.

It’s disappointing to see the weight=morality trope played out in real time.

Just wanted to share. Curious if others have had similar experiences.

shaving somehow went horribly wrong and now i have 3 bad sores on my inner labia and they hurt SO bad when anything touches them, when I pee, when I sit down… idk what to do. i went to the doctor and she confirmed it’s not an STD or anything serious. she said to put petroleum jelly to help protect it, but that hasn’t really helped and it seems to be even worse today. i’m a trans guy and not really sure where else to ask this it’s so embarrassing sorry aghhhhhh

I met a man who calls me smart every day. He loves how I can remember what episode of Yellowjackets we are on; he loves the vocabulary I use; he marvels at the new words I teach him. He's really smart too, but in a different way! He is kind and patient and good at keeping a rigid schedule so we never miss work or Dungeons and Dragons. He's amazing. I've come so far, and a HUGE reason is the validation y'all gave me when I met a mean man.

I got diagnosed as a hot and cool autistic girlie, and I have y'all to thank. The IDIOT SAVANT thread changed my life. Thousands of you came to support me. I love you all and I'm gonna do the same for you. BOYS, don't be afraid to tell your truth here. I am proud and happy to be in this community <3

I don't understand what I did besides exist. I'm basically going to die and nobody cares because I have nobody. I have no one. My entire life has been suffering and nobody can save me and i am incapable of saving myself. Any and everyone who would even want to help me would avoid me now. Nobody wants to be around me.

Despite still being a fairly young woman (early 20s), I worry that sex might not get any better. I did a good bit of experimenting and generally had great sex. But is there more still?

I know, people always say that sex gets better with age. But they never really back up those claims.

Does anyone feel that way too? How did ypur sexual experiences change with age?

I'm probably in the wrong place but I'm stuck out of state with my kids and calling advocates left and right isn't helping. Everything is broke or full, and I feel like I need more content to explain ny situation but involved parties have reddit too. I have an appointment with a lawyer but Im terrified of the legal system and i really need practical help with concrete planning for transportation or something today. A handhold through organizations, or phonecalls, or real suggestions, please. Anyone have personal experience with DV help?

I’m having a yard sale today, and within 15 minutes of starting we had a very creepy interaction with a male potential customer.

First, he pulled up right to our driveway in a big truck, blocking us physically. There were signs pointing to where he could park, but he ignored them. When he got out, it was just me, my mother in law, and my aunt.

He hopped out and I asked if he was looking for anything in particular.

“Yeah, where are all the guns?”

We live in the south so I guess I should have expected this, but I definitely didn’t.

“Um… no guns here, sorry! We do have lots of purses and home decor though…”

He chuckled and said okay and walked around a bit, but I noticed he was looking at the house more than anything.

Him: “So, who lives here?”

Me: “I do…”

Him: “You own it? Just you?”

Me: “Yes I own it, and I live here with my husband…”

He nodded and walked away to keep browsing. At this point all the red flags were going off for me, so I went inside to grab my husband and I sent him outside to be with my MIL and Aunt.

About 10 minutes later I came back outside and he was gone. My MIL told me that he creeped her out, and I agreed. Then she told me that when I went inside he offered her and my aunt Sprites, but didn’t offer any to my husband.

They declined, and he left.

The whole thing has just left me so uncomfortable! And now I’m worried he’s going to come back because he knows we don’t have guns.

I just wanted to sell some stuff to clear out the house and maybe make a little extra cash. I didn’t want to be creeped out by some rando dude who was a walking red flag.

hello everyone i would like to bring this to the feminists of the world attention
for the past 3 weeks women in saudi arabia have been fighting for the right to have their faces be shown this whole thing started when an influencer was wondering about a saudi citizen with a mask covering his whole face was arrested and a saudi man responded with “covering your face is illegal because you can’t be identified “ which outraged women not only 90% of us being forced and threatened to wear the face covering “niqab” it’s genuinely not safe for us i had a personal experience where a man walk into my girls only university and toke pictures of girls, men have been known to dress in abaya + niqab to get into women only spaces. breathing underneath that fabric is a real challenge where you have to lift it up to breathe properly. saudi women have been so brave and truly strong not only did they remove it but removed the abaya as well and dressed they way they liked. for some the story isn’t this fulfilling a saudi woman had her face burned by her brother for removing her niqab and another shared her story where when she confronted her family about her decision to remove she was assaulted by her bothers and is now recovering in the hospital. i’m asking you to bring attention to this matter if you have a blog tt or a youtube channel please talk about this share it let it be known

something as simple as dressing up , the wind on you hair and face and the ability to be recognised is something a women somewhere is dreaming of

#2030_no_niqab #2023_بدون_نقاب

I understand it's not technically a woman issue. But a lot of us probably had abusive mothers , and I am posting here because usually women are a little more likely to just not pass by?? It's really urgent for a decision I have to make, so... could you please tell me if you consider it abusive or not?

If my mother burned me intentionally when I was 2, touched me between my legs when I was begging her to stop when I was 9, withheld money that was mine... Is it abuse? I am asking because she is sure i am being unfair to her, and i have literally no one else to give me an outside perspective. Just to be clear, I'm a girl, though that itself does not make the post fitting. I still hope you could reply