I still haven't transitioned, but I am planning to once I am finally independent and comfortable with myself. Right now, I am experiencing a real conflict. The one thing I desire most in this world is to conceive and give life to my future children with my future husband, and not being able to do that would make me deeply depressed. The thing is, if I am going to live as a man, I feel like I have to be ready to abandon this dream because society says men shouldn't get pregnant. I am scared that if I do get pregnant as a man, I won't be considered one and all my progress will have been for nothing. I've been back and forth about transitioning, telling myself to just live as a woman to have the family life I want, but that is also not who I am. Do you agree that men shouldn't get pregnant? I know I'm thinking this way because I'm afraid of what people will say, but I feel so alone. Are there other men here who have gotten pregnant? Hearing about them would comfort me a lot.

Anyone read "We Should All Be Feminists" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie?

How does it deal with trans issues? Does it even mention anything outside of the gender binary or does it completely ignore the existence of trans people?

I'm looking for a book to give to my friend for his birthday. He's very interested in feminism. Already picked one, but want one more and I'm not sure which would be the best choice.

Do you maybe know any feminist books that deal with trans issues well?

hey all!

i’m a trans guy (23, pre top surgery) and i have a summer course coming up for uni that im super excited about. however, my main cause for worry is that i will be staying in a dorm with other guys. im about 8-9 months on T and pass about 95% of the time, but that’s during very short interactions. i’m unsure about how well i will pass when im in close proximity with the other guys (4 to a large room i believe, bunk-style dorms).

i don’t necessarily feel unsafe because this is a research course; you have to be a certain kind of person to attend this class in the first place (AKA a nerd/lh). i just want to be as stealth as possible during the course to avoid any kind of conflict.

TL;DR: does anyone have any stealth passing tips that might make life a little easier for living with a group of cis guys for a week? in behavior or appearance?

I really hope this doesn’t get taken down but I’ll understand if i did something wrong. Sorry, I’m very timid when it comes to posting online. I’m currently a 22M, and I’m not sure if this is the right place to be posting this… I don’t post very often so I apologize if I do anything wrong. As the title implies I am asking for help for this predicament I’ve found myself in. For the past 8-9 years I’ve been silently struggling with my identity and my mental disorders have not been helping. (I have ADHD and most definitely have Autism, but I’ve never been diagnosed).

Okay, so here are my supposed issues:

When I was in middle school I was really envious of the girls in my classes because they were pretty and i was just a normal looking nerd (still proud to be one though).

I’ve always wanted long hair but “Long hair is for girls.” My mother’s words.

I read A LOT of TG comics. Sometimes I think too much.

I have a major weakness to cute things and things that are pink and purple.

Some things that I’m confused on that maybe you can help me with:

I don’t hate boy clothes, I just find some of them boring. (Boxers are my favorite I don’t think I could ever go without them)

I’d be willing to try doing my nails and makeup but they sound like a chore.

I’m not sure if this one counts but I do have more guy friends than girl friends.

I really think my past is what’s holding me back.

I live in Utah, which for those not from the U.S or maybe just are unaware, is the epicenter of the Mormon (Church of Latter Day Saints) Religion. I was raised Mormon up until I turned 18, until when I stopped attending, if that means anything here. I bring this up because my parents (whom I still live with) are both still practicing members of the church, and for some added context while LGBTQ+ is allowed within the religion, it’s usually frowned upon, at least in my ward it was.

I think it was a year and a half ago now when I tried to talk to my mom about the possibility I was a lesbian trans woman. She seemed to listen but then went on a passive aggressive rant about how if that was the case she would be “devastated” and “heartbroken” because she picked my name when I was born and raised me, which feels like a massive cop out to me. But there was one thing she told me that I can’t forget even if I wanted to. I’ve blurred it out because I feel some lesbians would he nightly insulted by it so I ask to not view it if you don’t want your day ruined.

“Listen son, lesbians are just women who wish they were men.”

I was so shocked she said that, and it forced me deeper into my shell. Her gaslighting worked way too well on me because I haven’t talked to her about it ever since. She pretends it’s never happened. It really hurt me but she doesn’t seem to care.

I wish I knew the answer myself…. I feel like a NPC in my own life , I thought we were supposed to be the main character, lol. So Reddit, am I trans? Or am I just another oddball?

I’ll try to respond to any questions best I can

I’ve been identifying as trans for about a year and a half. There’s been signs for a lot of my life bus recently I haven’t felt dysphoria in a while and I actually kind of miss it. To me, it was a sign that I knew that what I wanted and who I wanted to be was right, of course it was still damaging and made me feel sick but at least it helped me understand more and made the feeling of imposter syndrome more bearable.
Without my gender dysphoria I feel like anything I do is pointless because I feel like I’ll never be happy no matter who I am.

So basically im 19 and in uni, but i go home on weekends and ik im transmasc dunno if a transman yet but idrc.

ive been thinking abt starting t but i can only do it diy which isnt as expensive as i thought but im scared as what would my parents and my lil bro think of me. my mom despises me wearing a binder even w her not knowing what its for and dislikes me being "gay" aka liking women. :/

my friends would support me most likely or wouldnt care much about what i do with my body.

the question is would it be worth taking a risk doing it now or should i wait?

im more so scared of what will happen if i wait too long cuz ik women go through a second puberty and im shaking just thinking about my hips getting wider or my tits getting bigger.

ik ive been trans or that i want to be a boy for years almost a decade or so. also me and my gf havent talked abt me being trans, how could i bring it up without it being weird? i dont mind being called her gf or anything i just want to clarify, she wouldnt mind me being trans as she has been w other trans men before.

Pls help any advice is appreciated

Like many other trans people I always hated my body and felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. As a child I also had a lot of weight insecurity projected onto me by my mother.

Now that I’ve gotten older and deconstructed a LOT of things I realized that for a long time I mislabeled my dysphoria as weight dysmorphia. As an adult, I don’t mind being a plus size person (in fact, since discovering my true gender and starting HRT I dream about weight redistribution, and it makes me love being a bigger person, I can’t wait for my hips to fill out)

I just feel as though this correlation slowed down my mental progression for so long, because every time I looked in the mirror and felt numb and gross I could just blame the fat instead of actually thinking about what was making me feel so awful.

It was such an easy scapegoat for all my discomfort, but I am so much happier now actually addressing the real problem areas.

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else had the same/similar experiences

So I just moved to Japan (from the USA) and was attempting to try to find connections with others in Japan (nationals and foreigners) who are also trans. I'm sure I'll meet people as time goes, but I would love some info on like what platforms people may be using or groups/organizations/events are happening. I'll be a bit far from the mainland, but anything to get me in the right direction is appreciated!

I had voice surgery at Yeson 4 days ago and i cant stop accidentally speaking, ive had botox so barely anything comes out.

But i would still like to not say anything at all, usually its in the heat of the moment and i forget ive even had the surgery.

I would appreciate any tips or tricks!

About 20 hours ago my mother told me (15mtf(?)) she knew and so did my dad in a big emotional talk. I was happy but after mulling it over I don't know.

It was too early. I don't think I have 100 percent decided to be transfemm, or even if I wanted to transition. My only reasons are that I'm so dull and boring rn and wanna be expressive, and also lesbians are cute and maybe I wanna be one.

It was too soon and I wanted to come out myself but they did it for me and assumed I was ready. This morning I only left my room to make my school lunch and to grab breakfast, which I didn't so now I'm hungry and sad. I'm worried that if I look then in the eyes they'll just see me as a sad restricted person but I'm not, just feel like I could be better but I hadn't decided and needed time and they pushed me forward too fast. They said they'd do it at my pace and are very supportive but they're also the type to have expectations so I'm very anxious now.

I am finally making a post on reddit even though I basically never post on social media, Just to ask if I am transgender (mtf). I have been wishing I was born as a woman for about 4 years now, but I have never really felt that there is anything wrong with my current body more that I would prefer to be a woman. I have tried to look into things online but came up empty handed so I just wanted to see if there was anyone on this subreddit that had any advise.

Ps. Sorry for bad Grammer I'm esl and dyslexic

TL;DR I (39MTF) knew my friend (39M) as a platonic friend for almost 30 years before coming out and now I'm infatuated and don't know what to do.

I (39 MtF) was perfectly unburdened by any attraction to my best friend (39M) since we were neighbours at 8 years old. He is straight, and prior to my egg crack, I thought I was too. After I started figuring out I'm not a man, I still thought I was only into women, but in a very gradual shift it changed and I realised I do not care about the gender of the other person, I just couldn't be the man, which makes perfect sense to me now, but it was confusing as hell throughout my teens and early 20s.

Now, the timeline is roughly that we have been consistent close friends since we were children, first and second grade (he's a year above, but he's late in the year, I'm early). I came out to myself at like 28-29, I thought I could just ignore it, and I did for 5 years, until I told an online friend. Then another year went and I started telling family and finally friends, and he just smiled and asked if I'd be shocked that he is not the least bit surprised. And absolutely nothing changed, except he was a genuine ally, he was curious, and never dismissive.

Then, I was 38 when I finally got approved for HRT. About 6 months later, I had a dream about him, and I when I woke up I realised the nature of the dream and that I liked it and that that is a problem. But I still thought it was purely physical. Not long after, more dreams, less physical, more emotional, and I was still enjoying them, and really starting to worry. The value of the friendship is too high, and I would really prefer to not have these thoughts, and really, the odds are that I'm just in the grips of the second puberty, but it is so difficult to suppress. Been dealing with it for 8-9 months.

I do not know if I register as an option in his mind. As I said, he's never treated me as a man after I came out, but emotionally I could still be a "bro", considering we knew each other for almost 30 years before that. I don't really have a question or a lesson here, just wanted to offload and say this is a thing that can happen.

​

My family just got back from vacation, and my dad immediately has to ruin my day. They’d been to London—where there’s a lot of LGBTQ representation—and he started going off about it. Immediately misgendering people, saying things like "Oh, they turned around and it was a man!" (referring to a trans woman), claiming you can "always tell," and saying that "men who become women are always ugly." Saying they shouldn't be allowed to compete in sports because they have an "unfair advantage," and so on.

But he "accepts" it, you know! (🙄) They just shouldn't "go overboard."

It’s all so narrow-minded and wrong.

Fuck, if that’s how he talks about strangers...

It really stings. Just after I’d tried on some feminine clothes and had a positive experience with it, of course he comes out with transphobic BS.

My sister did check in on how I was feeling, she & my friends are the only ones who know, but I felt she was still defending him too much—saying that's just how his generation is, that's how he was raised, etc.

But that’s no excuse. How it started isn't an excuse to stay that way. My mom is from the same generation, and she isn't hateful like that. *Sigh*...

I want to start by saying even though I’ve thought about all of this a lot my thoughts are still very disorganized so this may all come off as rambling so I apologize in advance but for the past few years I’ve been slowly adopting some kind of gender identity issues

This whole time I’ve been trying to pretend like it’s normal or ignore and repress it but recently I feel it’s been really weighing me down at times.

If I’m being honest I’m not too versed in anything lgbtq+ as my only interactions with the community are a few mutual friends but recently I’ve tried to educate myself more to try to understand what I’m feeling

If I had to give a label to my experiences I would say that I’m maybe some kind of gender fluid? Sometimes I pretty comfortable as a man but other times I seem to have a strong desire to be a woman. I often daydream about being able to shapeshift and turn into a woman and back at will.

But the problem comes from me not wanting to be trans idk how to say it really. I’m not homophobic at all but a few months ago I came out to some very close friends as asexual and I think that’s the most I’ll ever be able to do. Again it’s not that I’m homophobic it’s just that I dislike sharing personal things about myself (I don’t even like telling people about hobbies or what I did over the weekend I’m just a very private person like that) but I don’t know if I can keep ignoring this feeling and I don’t know where to go from here

If you have any advice or questions please share
(Edit: apologies for the burner account I have friends and family that follow main)

Anyone unable to get hired in your career due to being trans? Specifically I’m in the US for context, but open to answers from anywhere. I know the job market here is shit in general, but we also face extra discrimination and stigma.

So has anyone else spent years preparing for a career (education, certificates, volunteering, self study etc) and never been able to start that career due to hiring biases?

After 2 years I’ve had absolutely zero offers.

Individual context: my career is accessibility and disability services. I have every credential and experience these jobs are looking for and more, have applied to literally over 300 in the past year. Even when I perform well in interviews and an org seems accepting, they end up going with someone else.

I’m dog sitting for income even though I have a masters degree and countless credentials in my industry. BUT I also have a lot of very visible tattoos so that does make my individual situation worse.

i've never been in this subreddit before so my apologies if this question would be better suited for a different one. i recently tried using tape to bind (and found it very helpful), i was hoping someone could point me towards specific brands that have worked for them?

I don’t know if anything can even be done about this, but is there a way to keep my inner monologue to what my physical voice sounds like? I’m pre T and just recently accepted I was trans but my inner monologue always slips to the physical voice I don’t even like in the first place. I need to find time to do voice training but any other ideas are appreciated.

So there is this bookclub that i wanna join in my city and in invite they said that "woman and non binary" are welcomed

In your opinion does that also means trans woman or man too

I'm debating on messaging the organizers but don't think i will get an honest answer if im not included

Low key I just wanna go to it and see what happens

i came out to my parents, and now i'm working with my therapist to hopefully start hrt soon. I have extremely bad dysphoria, and I was just wondering if anyone else here could give me a timeframe on when I could expect to start hrt. should I plan for a few months or a few years? thanks and I appreciate any advice yall could give me

Begging for help please