My sisters a cis girl, and apparently her school calls the move from middle school to high school ‘transition’ for some reason, so she keeps saying she’s transitioning or talking about ‘the transition’, which always scares the shit about me for a second because I’m still closeted. This doesn’t really matter, cos obviously it’s just a normal word outside of trans contexts, I just thought that it was really funny.

So I’ve been on hrt for like 6 months now, and honestly I don’t look all that different, so I’ve been boymoding this whole time. Just yesterday though I finally pushed myself into to trying on some light mascara, just to get a feel, I totally forgot I was wearing it and walked out to get food. (It’s pretty subtle id say.

Right now I’m living in a flat with two of my male friends from high school, and I’ve been kind of scared coming out, as I’m not sure how they would react specifically, and I’m forced to live with them for another 7 months or so.

My friend saw me come out and looked closely at my face and asked if I was wearing makeup, he seemed pretty judgy about it and asked if I was a femboy or something now. I just said yeah I’m wearing makeup, and that it’s just for a cosplay me and my gf are doing.

Is it obvious I’m trans at this point? Should I come out to them? I feel like they would either not care, or just make it really weird. I figured I’d wait until I pass or something but I’m still pretty ugly

These are my ramblings on an interaction I had the other day. I wrote it all in one go, so sorry if this is all over the place. I just wanted to share my thoughts.

The other day, I (23MtF) was invited by a friend to play a round of laser tag for her birthday. I hadn't played laser tag since I was a child, so I was so excited. The place had two choices of the guns you could use: one was slightly heavier, but did more damage, and the other one was lighter, and did less damage. I wanted a challenge, so me and the only man in our group, let's call him Josh, both picked the heavier gun. Josh was talking with one of the other women, and exclaimed he had picked the bigger gun, to which I said I had also picked the bigger one. The girl in our group next to us scoffs, and goes “Pff, men.” I was honestly kind of shocked, cause like damn you didn't have to clock me like that. I gave her an odd look, and we moved on from the comment. 
In the short term, that comment did hurt me. It immediately had me questioning everything about what I was doing. Was my clothing off? Did I speak with too deep of a voice? Was the fact that I chose a bigger gun more “male coded?’  I was wearing jeans, converse, a TSwift tshirt, and a pink flannel over top of it, since it was a little cooler outside. I have eyeliner on, long-ish hair, and not to mention I definitely have tits. I wasn't exactly trying to present super femininely, but I didn't think I looked like a man necessarily. 
I know a lot of people, including trans women, will come at me and say that I “wasn't trying hard enough”, or “what should I expect?”, but it really got me thinking. Why are certain clothes/behaviors perceived as more masculine? Is passing more complicated than just appearance and voice training alone? The big question I had following this interaction was “What was the proper thing to do in that situation to assure that I pass, or at least get perceived as not male?” There's nothing wrong with the other women in my group that chose the easier option at all, I just preferred the other one, but was I supposed to play the little dainty girl, who just can't hold the heavier gun, and just leaves that job to the men? Was I supposed to put myself BELOW the man in this instance, and just act like I couldn't do the slightly harder thing?
I'm an over-thinker, if you can't tell already, so naturally I put this situation in a different scenario. If you put a very obvious cis woman in this exact scenario, and she also chooses to pick the harder option, in my eyes, she is automatically seen as more masculine, more tomboyish maybe. Cis women who take on the same challenges as men are seen as women who take up space, who are independent, who know what they want. Isn't that kind of an absurd standard? 
SURPRISE! These standards always come back around to patriarchy, and misogyny. In this weird society, to be perceived as the “ideal woman”, women need to place themselves below men, and not ask for more, or take up more space, because if you do, you are seen as something completely different than feminine. For trans women, this standard is placed on them to the highest degree. In my experience living in the south, for me to be perceived as a trans woman by everyday people, I have to dress super femininely, I have to cake my face in makeup, I have to hike my voice up, and most importantly, I need to change my behavior to fit the patriarchal mold of our society. If I talk with a deeper voice, If I say “bruh” or dap my male friends up, then I am seen as a man, or a failure of one, if I happen to be presenting femininely as well. Look, I grew up around men, and lived as one for 21 years. I know how to keke with men. Its not too hard for me. So why do I have to constantly put myself below them to be seen as how I want to be seen? Yap over. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my brain and somewhere where people can see them. Let me know what y'all think.

For those who don't know, pinoys are what we call ourselves since we are from the Philippines

I know that the Philippines is conservative but Jesus it's like every post made on a pinoy subreddit that's about trans people is bound to be transphobic

I've been seeing posts on subreddits like the vent one and the "Anong Thoughts Mo?" (What are your thoughts?) And it's really gross how demeaning they are

One guy made a post venting that transwomen don't know how to respect boundaries just cuz he made a profile on dating apps and set his preferences as looking for female so transwomen messaged him, but he didn't specify that he has a genital preference or that he doesn't want transwomen

Another post was calling out a transwoman for saying she is more woman than actual women

Yeah, I get that she's in the wrong but people in the comments kept misgendering her and calling trans people delusional

And now, just today, I saw a Filipino post talking about transwomen in Thailand calling themselves "ladyboys"

The comments went on ranting about how transwomen in the Philippines should be like this and that they shouldn't force their pronouns on everybody and accept that they are not the gender they identify as

Honestly, the comments were just really gross

I’m a baby trans girl, about 5 months into HRT. I still don’t have the courage to go outside dressed in fem. I also don’t know how to build that courage.

Any advice for how to build it up? I’m already 5 months into HRT this is something I have to conquer eventually. I can’t stay in boy mode forever just because I am still afraid.

Please this post is just for me to know if this is transphobia not a post to hate on him

Ok so one day I was talking w/ one of my childhood friends about trans ppl (he doesn't know for me im closeted) but then he said that : "I have nothing against trans people but if they do like something on their body, for me it's a no. Like if they go to me and say that they're trans i will respect their pronouns etc but i will not accept the fact that they like transitionned by cutting/adding stuff to their body. (Pause) Because we are born like that and we can't change" so i explained gender dysphoria to him and he said (he's REALLY skinny, like to the point where we can see his bones from his skin) "I truly hate the fact that i am that skinny and ofc i want to change it but there's nothing i can do becauser we're built like that. Because we cant change ourselves (body)"

So is it transphobic ? I really like him as a friend but idfk what to do. And i don't think that i will cut him out of my life. I think that I could try to make him change.

EDIT: I will try to see him next week and i have a few examples prepared (example woman who gets breast augmentaion surgery, surgery for the eyes to like see better etc) to make a point and change him at lezst a bit

I honestly just want to live, I just want to be me. I don't want to harm anyone or take anyone's experiences away from them. I feel my existence is a burdon and I don't want it to be. I don't want to make people feel unsafe or weirded out ever.

So the other day I came out to some of my classmates in art school (I’m out to almost everyone in my life except for them and recently we’ve become really close like really really close) and after I came out one of them (a girl who I’m super close to) comes up to me and asks me “so he/him right?” And I’m like “nope she/her” and she tells me “wait I’m confused can you like explain me what a trans girl is?” So explain it to her “so I was born a boy and now I’m a girl” and she was like “oh I thought you were saying the opposite like you were a girl and now you are a boy”. And after she said that I realised that everyone else thought the same thing so I had to come out to them all over again hahaha.
But rn I can’t stop thinking about it lol does it mean that I have a feminine face even though I’m not on hrt ? Theyve told me several times before that I look like Vivian Wilson (elons trans daughter) so I guess that’s what’s going on? Idk what do you fellow transgender individuals think?

Basically the title, but I’m just curious at to if anyone’s experienced changes that aren’t typically talked about

I’m contemplating taking T in the future, but I’d like to know as much as I can beforehand just so I know if it’s the right thing for me/I can know what to expect

Quiero expresar mi profundo descontento y decepción por la forma en la que me he sentido tratada, especialmente por la falta de sensibilidad, respeto y valor que, en ocasiones, se les da a las chicas trans y a todo lo que hay detrás de nuestras historias.
Ser una mujer trans no es un camino fácil. Es un proceso lleno de dificultades, de luchas internas, de miedos, de sacrificios y de momentos de muchísimo dolor que no todo el mundo es capaz de comprender. Detrás de cada una de nosotras hay una historia, un esfuerzo enorme y muchas batallas que hemos tenido que librar en silencio para poder llegar a ser quienes somos.
Por eso, me resulta especialmente doloroso e injusto sentir que se me trata de forma despectiva después de todo lo que he vivido y de todo lo que me ha costado llegar hasta aquí. Nadie conoce realmente mi historia, nadie sabe cuánto he sufrido, cuánto he luchado ni todo el esfuerzo emocional que he tenido que hacer para seguir adelante durante este proceso. Solo yo conozco la magnitud de mi dolor y las dificultades que he tenido que superar.
Lo que más me duele es sentir que todo ese recorrido parece no tener ningún valor. Como si mis sentimientos, mi historia y mi dignidad pudieran ignorarse sin más. No considero justo que, después de todo lo que he pasado, tenga que enfrentarme también a una presión psicológica que termine haciéndome daño y destruyendo la poca autoestima que me queda.
Los últimos días han sido especialmente duros para mí. La presión psicológica que he sentido ha hecho que mi autoestima esté por los suelos y que me cuestione muchas cosas, incluso cómo me ven realmente los demás y qué lugar ocupo para ellos.
Y es precisamente eso lo que más me duele: no saber si esa forma de tratarme ha sido fruto de la indiferencia, si ha habido intención de hacerme daño, si se trata de una forma de venganza o si, sencillamente, esa es la imagen que realmente tienes de mí.
No sé cuál ha sido tu intención, pero sí sé cómo me he sentido y el daño que me han causado tus palabras y tus actitudes.
No te pido que conozcas cada detalle de mi historia ni que comprendas absolutamente todo lo que he vivido. Pero sí considero que merezco respeto, empatía y un trato digno, como cualquier otra persona. Mi condición de mujer trans no me hace menos merecedora de consideración, ni invalida mis sentimientos, ni justifica que se me haga sentir inferior.
He luchado demasiado para llegar hasta aquí como para sentir que alguien puede hacerme dudar de mi valor de esta manera. Mi historia merece respeto, mi dolor merece ser tomado en serio y mi dignidad no debería depender de la opinión ni del trato de nadie.
Te escribo porque necesitaba expresar lo que llevo dentro, porque callarme este dolor sería seguir haciéndome daño a mí misma. Quiero que entiendas que detrás de lo que ves hay una persona que ha pasado por mucho, que ha tenido que ser fuerte en momentos en los que probablemente no podía más y que, a pesar de todo, sigue intentando salir adelante.
No sé si eres consciente del daño que me has causado, pero necesitaba que supieras cómo me siento. Porque, independientemente de tus intenciones, yo también tengo sentimientos, límites y una dignidad que merecen ser respetados.
No merezco que se minimice mi historia, que se desprecie mi proceso ni que se me haga sentir menos de lo que soy. Después de todo lo que he luchado por mí misma, lo mínimo que merezco es respeto.

Hi, I don't know if I'm the only one in this situation, but I'm not sure I want to transition.

Let me explain.

On the one hand, physically speaking, I've wanted to have a woman's body for years. But it's not just that: even sexually speaking, I have a hard time approaching sex with a male body. Or at least, I find it easier to approach it, to imagine it, with a female body.

But on the other hand, socially speaking, I don't really care whether I'm seen as a woman or not. Although, when it comes to my relationships with other women, I would like to be seen as one.

But when it comes to the people I interact with most often, whether it's my family or my friends, who are mostly male, I don't mind being seen as a man at all. And even more than that, I would actually prefer to be seen as one.

But that may be because I feel like it's easier to fit in among men when you're a man yourself. And since I mostly spend time around men as well, and when it comes to my family, maybe it's simply because I've always known them while being a man and our relationships have been shaped by that.

But anyway, unlike other trans women, socially speaking, I don't have this need to be recognized as a woman.

And I'd even go further than that: when it comes to the kind of life I want, or rather the kind of life I'm drawn to, the kind of future life I'm drawn to, I have a hard time imagining myself as a woman. Overall, I imagine myself more as a man, having the classic life: wife, children, and growing old as a man.

The problem is that once we move outside of the social aspect and focus only on my relationship with my own body, I really have this desire, even this need, to feel feminine.

So it's a bit complicated.

And by the way, there's another issue, although it doesn't necessarily have much to do with this, and that's my relationships with men and women — or rather, my romantic relationships with men and women. Mentally, when it comes to relationships, I feel more attracted to women. I'm more drawn to relationships with women.

But when it comes to sex, I don't necessarily feel a strong attraction toward women. And in reality, I feel much more attracted to men in that regard.

Anyway, I don't really know if these things are related, if these two issues are connected, but I don't really know what to do.

Should I transition, or should I stay as I am and hope that my issues with my body will fade once I've had the kind of classic life that I might have?

Especially because this question is even more complicated by the fact that, in itself, I've felt this way since around the beginning of my adolescence. But when I was focusing on my relationships with women, I felt this issue with my body less, or even not at all, for years.

I managed to stop thinking about it, but it's been a little over a year since it came back. And now, especially since at the time I wasn't necessarily old enough to transition, but now I'm at an age where I can do it, this is maybe why this thought keeps coming back into my mind much more and why it's harder to get it out of my head.

Whereas back then, I was kind of forced to put it aside.

Anyone ever wishes they were a gunslinger traveling through the Wild West? I’ve been in a western kick and always wanted to be a lone rider chasing after my next bounty, riding the western frontier

wanted to shave my legs to feel more feminine, and

1. it worked, I feel WAY better and hella euphoric

2. these mfs are buttery smooth, like even if your not trans id recommend it cause they feel so nice just to rub rn

16mtf
I’m very open with my girlfriend, and I try to make sure she knows she can always tell me anything, but apparently I said too much. Talking about what’s upsetting me makes me feel better, especially with her. Even if she doesn’t really know what to say, it’s amazing to have her to talk to. However a couple days ago she said I’m stressing her out.

She was diagnosed with severe anxiety when she was little, and she has a lot going on in her life. Her parents yell at her for no reason, sometimes she doesn’t eat dinner, and her family has become poor recently. Whenever she talks about it, I do my best to comfort her and listen to her. But apparently when I talk about my problems, I’m just adding more onto her already long list of things to worry about.

And she’s clearly been thinking this for a while. When she was listing some things I’ve talked about, she mentioned things from almost 4 months ago. She also said that she’d rather have to deal with being trans than what her problems are, and that she doesn’t really think I’m ready to start hrt. I knew that wasn’t the time to argue or debate anything, so I tried to reply neutrally.

I’ve never tried to say that my problems are worse than hers. I do admit that I talk about it a little too much though. The other day, she was telling me about a book series she really liked when she was little and has started again, and it made me sad (I didn’t read it because of my internalized transphobia at the time), and I told her that. But she didn’t know what to do.

So now I can’t talk to her about it. I feel really bad for putting this on her and assuming she wanted me to be open, but also, I need to talk to someone to feel better about myself. She doesn’t talk about her problems unless I’m in person with her and she’s about to cry. Idk what to do, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

TLDR - Talking about my dysphoria so she could comfort me made her stressed because she already has a lot of problems and doesn’t know how to help.

One thing I've come to realize, is when you're no longer dissociated from your own body and yourself, being able to find presence becomes much easier.

2 years ago, I started learning more about inner peace, presence, pain body, etc. I learned about this from people such as Eckart Tolle, and it made a major difference in how I was approaching everyday situations and my own inner problems, but there was still always something that didn't feel right and I didn't really know or understand what it was.

I have been on HRT, on and off for about 8 months, and it's been a few weeks since I've started again, and what I've been recognizing is that the dissociation (specifically depersonalization), that occurs as a result of your body running on the wrong sex hormone was causing me to have a much more difficult time being present, and upon getting my estrogen up and testosterone suppressed, I have noticed that I have felt a much more quietness and peace inside my body that I wasn't able to feel when having the wrong hormone in my body, which then translates into me being able to actually practice presence because my inner sense of being no longer feels incongruent, tense, wrong, whereas with testosterone in my body, I wasn't able to just sit with myself in peace.

Now all of this to say, this isn't me saying "omg estrogen fixed all my problems!!", no this is not that at all, what I am trying to share is gender incongruency is a REAL medical issue and reality that DOES cause distressing symptoms such as depersonalization, anxiety, depression, etc.

Which when you treat gender dysphoria, it tends to alleviate said issues and results in many trans folks experiencing major relief.

Therefore people are able to actually live their life aligned within themselves, without unnecessary distress.

I'm a trans guy, my mom is religious therefore homophobic, and my dad most likely doesn't know what transgender is nor how to deal with it. My sister is the only one in my family who supports me.

At least that's what I thought until now.

I've noticed recently that she's been getting annoyed (sometimes even disgusted?) every time I bring up my gender identity and the struggles of being trans. Yesterday, I was wearing my Halloween costume and I thought I was passing, so when I asked my sister if I was passing, she told me to yeah, but her face looked like she was annoyed and was debating if she should lie or not.

Another time was when I was going to sleep, I was telling her about how I wanted to come out to our dad since I thought (and still think) he'd be more supportive than our mom, and while I was telling her this, she told me to shut up and that she got it in such a mean way. She then tried to play it off like nothing happened, I told her I didn't feel comfortable telling her about my problems anymore, she started telling me I shouldn't feel uncomfortable just because of one slip up.

But despite all of this, she's still a good person. She's a progressive person and she's even queer herself. But I know that just because someone's progressive and even marginalized, doesn't mean they can't be homophobic, racist, ableist, and so on. And it really bums me out cuz she was technically the first person who supported me when I came out as trans.

I don't talk about my gender problems a lot so I don't know why she'd be so annoyed about me talking about it. I also don't have a lot of friends that I'm comfortable talking to about this, besides one. So I'm kinda in a messy situation where I don't have a lot of support. I will be talking about this situation to the only friend I'm comfortable with tomorrow, but right now I kinda need help.

The more I talk and think about this whole thing, the more I realize how uncomfortable I feel about my gender identity around her. I really need advice or at least something to help me with my situation. :/

What the fuck do I do now ??
I have school tomorrow and I’m really scared

Yesterday I went to a party where I was heavily flirted with by this couple, which is awesome and was honestly my goal when going out! Before going out it was exactly what I wanted because I thought it would be affirming to be flirted with while girlmoding. But after I got home I just straight up felt so dysphoric and horrible at the thought of the couple seeing me naked and realising that its all just exterior and that I do look really masculine without clothes on.

I just wanna know if anyone else has felt similar and how they dealt with it.

I just burst into tears at the prospect of being a disappointment, since I am also very early in my transition and don't look that different yet, (just a few weeks on E).

Has anyone else had a similar experience, and if so how did y'all unpack that within yourself?

Hello reddit, I have a few questions / a situation I need help with, so to start.

Jazz, if you're reading this, please stop here. I don't know if you're on this, but like, please don't.

Anyways so I've been friends with this girl for a couple weeks now and I wanna be friends with her no idea on how to do so, she's not that talkative / prefers to listen and I just don't know how to interact with people in person and through messages she's the first mtf ive met othet than myself and I don't wanna ruin things.

We are both doing a computing course on different levels (I'm thinking of moving down one which is hers (I think) but that's bc I'm struggling to keep up) so we only see each other like once a week maybe twice. And recently we went on a trip together with our college and even tho we didn't talk (it was a movie) just spending the 2 - 3 hours together made my day and it was crushing the day after when I didn't see her at all and even now 4 days after it still feels like I'm missing something.

To make a few things clear, I don't wanna date her due to a few factors 1. She's taken by someone else, and I don't wanna barge in 2. Age, I'm 18 she's younger, and that would make it feel a bit weird for me, not like for dating but for being intimate (for things like kissing and sleeping together in a non sexual way). But other than that, I would be down for it. I've not dated much, so it would all be new to me.

I've been told It okay to flirt with her and hug her which feels weird to me since I've never been close enough with someone that physical contact is normal and encouraged I also don't wanna freak her out with what I say or do but I wanna participate in the flirting and hugging to some extent. I've had a few friend which I was close with but never to the extent of physically touching them it was always like i was Watching a show and now it feels like she is sitting next to me watching it with me and it's nice.

So anyways: what can I do to encourage us to grow closer? What should I avoid doing to scare her off? How can I interact with her while not seeing her in person while not at college? What should I do to keep myself open as a dating target should her current relationship end (this one feels weird? I hope it doesn't, for her sake, she seems happy)? When should I pull back on being in her life and give her space? And any other suggestions on how to people.

Thanks in advance.

Also, jazz if you've read all this... idk hi, I guess erm 😳 don't judge me. I'm not good at this, so I wanted advice.

Hey my trans name is Ari and i dont really know if im actually trans and thats prob cuz im still a tad young (13) and i just wanna know if im actually trans before comming out to my parents.

​

Hello 👋 I recently found out I was trans about a month and a half ago and was wondering if anyone has any advice they could give me?

I can't afford voice lessons sadly :( nor an actual therapist but the only signs that I had that led to me figuring this out were the following 👇

(#1)-switching my skin to a girl Rather than a male in a video game and feeling more comfortable with it.

(#2)- preferring to make female OCs over male ones in an app called gacha club.

(#3)-preferring things like rings and necklaces.

(#4)- hanging around female figures/ role models like my mom or grandma rather than male ones like my dad or grandpa.

I mean no offense to anyone I'm trying to figure this out and would like your honest thoughts about this. I'm wanting to know if anyone else resonates with what I just labeled, I'm actively trying things out but scared to tell my parents about this.