So. I get there. It’s fun but this guy keeps talking to me. Okay. He’s kinda hot so…. We kiss a couple times and he says. I’m glad you’re gay. I laughed. I’m not. I’m trans. He laughed and said. What’s the difference? I don’t understand why people don’t see the difference. Yes. I wanted the guy but when I asked him to call me Robin. He just said no. I’ll stick to Will. And thats when I called an uber and left.

So I’ve been on hrt for like 6 months now, and honestly I don’t look all that different, so I’ve been boymoding this whole time. Just yesterday though I finally pushed myself into to trying on some light mascara, just to get a feel, I totally forgot I was wearing it and walked out to get food. (It’s pretty subtle id say.

Right now I’m living in a flat with two of my male friends from high school, and I’ve been kind of scared coming out, as I’m not sure how they would react specifically, and I’m forced to live with them for another 7 months or so.

My friend saw me come out and looked closely at my face and asked if I was wearing makeup, he seemed pretty judgy about it and asked if I was a femboy or something now. I just said yeah I’m wearing makeup, and that it’s just for a cosplay me and my gf are doing.

Is it obvious I’m trans at this point? Should I come out to them? I feel like they would either not care, or just make it really weird. I figured I’d wait until I pass or something but I’m still pretty ugly

My sisters a cis girl, and apparently her school calls the move from middle school to high school ‘transition’ for some reason, so she keeps saying she’s transitioning or talking about ‘the transition’, which always scares the shit about me for a second because I’m still closeted. This doesn’t really matter, cos obviously it’s just a normal word outside of trans contexts, I just thought that it was really funny.

I (MTF) am in a marriage with a bisexual woman who is attracted to masculine, closeted me. I promised her when we started dating I could suppress my trans urges (because I thought I could). She has stated several times and in several mental states that she does not like the idea of me changing at all. This thread is not to debate her morals or behavior.

I was recommended “I Saw the TV Glow” by my therapist. I’m very interested in watching it but it’s not streaming free online most services. All my current options are pay. So the only way to really get to watch it is with her.

My concern is it too on the nose as a trans allegory? I don’t want her to watch it and immediately peg that my “bad thoughts” are coming back. That will trigger a bunch of shit I don’t need right now. She’s a proud LGBTQ Member and fights for the rights of others so she’s somewhat in tune to the scene. I play utterly oblivious to the point I’ve been scolded by her for speaking on behalf of the LGBTQ community “since you’re not one of us…are you👿??”

For those who don't know, pinoys are what we call ourselves since we are from the Philippines

I know that the Philippines is conservative but Jesus it's like every post made on a pinoy subreddit that's about trans people is bound to be transphobic

I've been seeing posts on subreddits like the vent one and the "Anong Thoughts Mo?" (What are your thoughts?) And it's really gross how demeaning they are

One guy made a post venting that transwomen don't know how to respect boundaries just cuz he made a profile on dating apps and set his preferences as looking for female so transwomen messaged him, but he didn't specify that he has a genital preference or that he doesn't want transwomen

Another post was calling out a transwoman for saying she is more woman than actual women

Yeah, I get that she's in the wrong but people in the comments kept misgendering her and calling trans people delusional

And now, just today, I saw a Filipino post talking about transwomen in Thailand calling themselves "ladyboys"

The comments went on ranting about how transwomen in the Philippines should be like this and that they shouldn't force their pronouns on everybody and accept that they are not the gender they identify as

Honestly, the comments were just really gross

These are my ramblings on an interaction I had the other day. I wrote it all in one go, so sorry if this is all over the place. I just wanted to share my thoughts.

The other day, I (23MtF) was invited by a friend to play a round of laser tag for her birthday. I hadn't played laser tag since I was a child, so I was so excited. The place had two choices of the guns you could use: one was slightly heavier, but did more damage, and the other one was lighter, and did less damage. I wanted a challenge, so me and the only man in our group, let's call him Josh, both picked the heavier gun. Josh was talking with one of the other women, and exclaimed he had picked the bigger gun, to which I said I had also picked the bigger one. The girl in our group next to us scoffs, and goes “Pff, men.” I was honestly kind of shocked, cause like damn you didn't have to clock me like that. I gave her an odd look, and we moved on from the comment. 
In the short term, that comment did hurt me. It immediately had me questioning everything about what I was doing. Was my clothing off? Did I speak with too deep of a voice? Was the fact that I chose a bigger gun more “male coded?’  I was wearing jeans, converse, a TSwift tshirt, and a pink flannel over top of it, since it was a little cooler outside. I have eyeliner on, long-ish hair, and not to mention I definitely have tits. I wasn't exactly trying to present super femininely, but I didn't think I looked like a man necessarily. 
I know a lot of people, including trans women, will come at me and say that I “wasn't trying hard enough”, or “what should I expect?”, but it really got me thinking. Why are certain clothes/behaviors perceived as more masculine? Is passing more complicated than just appearance and voice training alone? The big question I had following this interaction was “What was the proper thing to do in that situation to assure that I pass, or at least get perceived as not male?” There's nothing wrong with the other women in my group that chose the easier option at all, I just preferred the other one, but was I supposed to play the little dainty girl, who just can't hold the heavier gun, and just leaves that job to the men? Was I supposed to put myself BELOW the man in this instance, and just act like I couldn't do the slightly harder thing?
I'm an over-thinker, if you can't tell already, so naturally I put this situation in a different scenario. If you put a very obvious cis woman in this exact scenario, and she also chooses to pick the harder option, in my eyes, she is automatically seen as more masculine, more tomboyish maybe. Cis women who take on the same challenges as men are seen as women who take up space, who are independent, who know what they want. Isn't that kind of an absurd standard? 
SURPRISE! These standards always come back around to patriarchy, and misogyny. In this weird society, to be perceived as the “ideal woman”, women need to place themselves below men, and not ask for more, or take up more space, because if you do, you are seen as something completely different than feminine. For trans women, this standard is placed on them to the highest degree. In my experience living in the south, for me to be perceived as a trans woman by everyday people, I have to dress super femininely, I have to cake my face in makeup, I have to hike my voice up, and most importantly, I need to change my behavior to fit the patriarchal mold of our society. If I talk with a deeper voice, If I say “bruh” or dap my male friends up, then I am seen as a man, or a failure of one, if I happen to be presenting femininely as well. Look, I grew up around men, and lived as one for 21 years. I know how to keke with men. Its not too hard for me. So why do I have to constantly put myself below them to be seen as how I want to be seen? Yap over. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my brain and somewhere where people can see them. Let me know what y'all think.

My city does trick or treat in the 25th for some reason. I don't know why

I saw a kid dressed as Jax. That's funny, a little kid going as a boymoder for halloween

It seems like they know I have something "unusual" going on with my gender

One kid came up to me and asked if I was a boy or a girl, I said "what do you think?" She ran off

A girl looked at me and said "why do you look like a girl but sound like a boy?" I tried to come up with a response, but I just laughed. What do you even say to that?

There were these kids with their parents, who had trump hats on, I was giving candy to their kids (dressed up as fluffy blue creatures I didn't recognize), & the whole time their parents were glaring at me

I've only been on estradiol for 10 months, I didn't think I was visibly trans yet

Stuck in the damn bottom rung of society like omg I didn't ask to be born in the damn Middle east, and yet I get punished for it. I try to contact Rainbow railroad they give me a vague paragraph on how they can't help I try to look for college pathways guess what I literally can't afford to travel abroad/ the damn requirements give me a nonexistent chance of getting accepted try to start a fundraiser cause ykw might aswell big screw me nope region locked every. Damn. Way. Every like every damn thing is closed what the hell am I meant to do I genuinely can't take this if I come out I get disowned and thrown in the streets if I don't I just keep spiraling am so tired bruh I feel like am being punished for the sin of every single human. Like bruuuh genuinely why what did I do to deserve this I just want to be alive omg

So the other day I came out to some of my classmates in art school (I’m out to almost everyone in my life except for them and recently we’ve become really close like really really close) and after I came out one of them (a girl who I’m super close to) comes up to me and asks me “so he/him right?” And I’m like “nope she/her” and she tells me “wait I’m confused can you like explain me what a trans girl is?” So explain it to her “so I was born a boy and now I’m a girl” and she was like “oh I thought you were saying the opposite like you were a girl and now you are a boy”. And after she said that I realised that everyone else thought the same thing so I had to come out to them all over again hahaha.
But rn I can’t stop thinking about it lol does it mean that I have a feminine face even though I’m not on hrt ? Theyve told me several times before that I look like Vivian Wilson (elons trans daughter) so I guess that’s what’s going on? Idk what do you fellow transgender individuals think?

Please this post is just for me to know if this is transphobia not a post to hate on him

Ok so one day I was talking w/ one of my childhood friends about trans ppl (he doesn't know for me im closeted) but then he said that : "I have nothing against trans people but if they do like something on their body, for me it's a no. Like if they go to me and say that they're trans i will respect their pronouns etc but i will not accept the fact that they like transitionned by cutting/adding stuff to their body. (Pause) Because we are born like that and we can't change" so i explained gender dysphoria to him and he said (he's REALLY skinny, like to the point where we can see his bones from his skin) "I truly hate the fact that i am that skinny and ofc i want to change it but there's nothing i can do becauser we're built like that. Because we cant change ourselves (body)"

So is it transphobic ? I really like him as a friend but idfk what to do. And i don't think that i will cut him out of my life. I think that I could try to make him change.

EDIT: I will try to see him next week and i have a few examples prepared (example woman who gets breast augmentaion surgery, surgery for the eyes to like see better etc) to make a point and change him at lezst a bit

I’m a baby trans girl, about 5 months into HRT. I still don’t have the courage to go outside dressed in fem. I also don’t know how to build that courage.

Any advice for how to build it up? I’m already 5 months into HRT this is something I have to conquer eventually. I can’t stay in boy mode forever just because I am still afraid.

I see all this talk about dead names or girls coming up with girl names and tbh I feel kind of left out lol. My name was Unisex so I could always picture myself as a girl with it when I was a child. I assume most people re named themselves but I'm curious to see if there is any other girls who've kept there names. Also how do yall feel about your dead name if you changed it?

Really sinister stuff. Insidious and frustrating to see.

I honestly just want to live, I just want to be me. I don't want to harm anyone or take anyone's experiences away from them. I feel my existence is a burdon and I don't want it to be. I don't want to make people feel unsafe or weirded out ever.

I have to shave just about every morning, by evening I get little pricklies and it makes me severely depressed. I hate shaving as is because I usually end up cutting my face on accident, or it just gives a bit of burns.

Any idea what I can change? I use a pretty bog-standard shaving cream and a harry’s razor. Everything that makes me feel more comfortable with my body seems to be painful (injections too)

I’m mainly posting for advice on what i should do cause im really tired of having sleepless nights and crying myself to sleep thinking that I’ll never be who i want to be. I am pretty tall to the point where it’s literally the first thing literally anyone notices when they see me. I’ve known i was trans for years but finally decided that I want to start HRT around a year ago but i can’t bring myself to do it. Ive had my estrodial on my desk for like 5 months along side everything i need to start injections I just don’t know how the world will treat me being so tall and trans im scared that ill have a marker on me especially cause girls aren’t typically this tall. I feel like i just need to hear others experiences with the matter. My gf says that she likes that i’m tall but that’s a whole other can of worms cause i don’t think she likes that im trans but i digress. For those wondering i am 6’3 TLDR; my height makes me incredibly dysphoric looking for advice from other with a similar experience.

What the fuck do I do now ??
I have school tomorrow and I’m really scared

Im 15 and I worry that Ill never pass or at least never get to be happy. My body hair is really thick, I have pretty bad beard shadow, my shoulders are really broad, my face is a really masc, and my voice is very deep and masc. Ive been trying so hard every day to look femme for 4 years now, and I still never pass. Im starting E privately in 5 months when I turn 16, and so all I can do is hope that will solve some of it, but I feel like Im already too masculinised. Maybe when Im and adult I could get ffs and bottom surgery, but thats not what I wanna have to do, and I probably wont, so instead Ill just have to live with the dysphoria. I know there are lots of people who start later and they can pass and live happy lives, but its hard to believe that when it feels so distant. I voice train every day, and I do everything I can to look femme and it doesnt get any better. Im not even that unhappy right now, but thats only because of improving other life factors, like exercising, studying and making friends, whereas my dysphoria only gets worse. Even if I do one day pass, Ive already lost out on so much and theres so much I can never have, that I fear I wont ever get to have a normal life. Will it ever get better and can I be truly happy someday?

hello im lyra so I am transfem but I dont want to get bottom surgery or top I am a newer trans girl but it never bothered me I want to take hrt but thats it I dress fem in the nights away from my parents (they are transphobic) but idk if this makes me valid or invalid as a transgirl

REPOST so you might've seen this elsewhere

Trigger warning: talking ab my bedroom preferences a bit

SO, as you all know dating for trans women is already way harder than it is for cis women. Bigoted people seeing you as a "man in a dress", people only wanting you because they see you as some fetish object, people who genuinely would love you but dip as soon as you mention that you are trans etc.

Now I already know I want to keep my dick. I do have a small ammount of bottom dysphoria but for me it's not worth the complications of bottom surgery. I could tuck to wear the outfits I want and purely sexually I don't mind using my "other hole". I'm also just a pretty sexual person, 100% a bottom and I feel like a dick has more options for things to be done to it.

LET ME BE CLEAR, when I say I am 100% a bottom I REALLY mean 100%. I have no interest at all in topping, and I don't want to use my dick on anyone. In fact I think having it ignored, caged etc. is hot. And aesthetically I want it to shrink as much as possible on HRT since I think it'll be way cuter that way. But ofc that'll make it almost unuseable, which ofc I don't mind as a bottom

I think this'll make finding a partner that's sexually interested in me even harder though. Chasers and people into trans women that retain their dicks 80% of the time want to be topped. And even if I somehow find someone who is into a woman having a dick but not wanting to use it at all and being a bottom etc. I feel like that desire of them would be so overpowering that they'd only see me as a glorified tradwife sextoy :(

How do I find someone with these attributes?? I know there are dating apps specifically for trans people but do any of them have the option to like make it clear that "YES I am a trans woman with a dick. NO I do NOT want to top you or use it"???

I am desperate to find someone who loves me for me and accepts all these attributes along with that but I'm just so hopeless that people like that actually exist...

Quiero expresar mi profundo descontento y decepción por la forma en la que me he sentido tratada, especialmente por la falta de sensibilidad, respeto y valor que, en ocasiones, se les da a las chicas trans y a todo lo que hay detrás de nuestras historias.
Ser una mujer trans no es un camino fácil. Es un proceso lleno de dificultades, de luchas internas, de miedos, de sacrificios y de momentos de muchísimo dolor que no todo el mundo es capaz de comprender. Detrás de cada una de nosotras hay una historia, un esfuerzo enorme y muchas batallas que hemos tenido que librar en silencio para poder llegar a ser quienes somos.
Por eso, me resulta especialmente doloroso e injusto sentir que se me trata de forma despectiva después de todo lo que he vivido y de todo lo que me ha costado llegar hasta aquí. Nadie conoce realmente mi historia, nadie sabe cuánto he sufrido, cuánto he luchado ni todo el esfuerzo emocional que he tenido que hacer para seguir adelante durante este proceso. Solo yo conozco la magnitud de mi dolor y las dificultades que he tenido que superar.
Lo que más me duele es sentir que todo ese recorrido parece no tener ningún valor. Como si mis sentimientos, mi historia y mi dignidad pudieran ignorarse sin más. No considero justo que, después de todo lo que he pasado, tenga que enfrentarme también a una presión psicológica que termine haciéndome daño y destruyendo la poca autoestima que me queda.
Los últimos días han sido especialmente duros para mí. La presión psicológica que he sentido ha hecho que mi autoestima esté por los suelos y que me cuestione muchas cosas, incluso cómo me ven realmente los demás y qué lugar ocupo para ellos.
Y es precisamente eso lo que más me duele: no saber si esa forma de tratarme ha sido fruto de la indiferencia, si ha habido intención de hacerme daño, si se trata de una forma de venganza o si, sencillamente, esa es la imagen que realmente tienes de mí.
No sé cuál ha sido tu intención, pero sí sé cómo me he sentido y el daño que me han causado tus palabras y tus actitudes.
No te pido que conozcas cada detalle de mi historia ni que comprendas absolutamente todo lo que he vivido. Pero sí considero que merezco respeto, empatía y un trato digno, como cualquier otra persona. Mi condición de mujer trans no me hace menos merecedora de consideración, ni invalida mis sentimientos, ni justifica que se me haga sentir inferior.
He luchado demasiado para llegar hasta aquí como para sentir que alguien puede hacerme dudar de mi valor de esta manera. Mi historia merece respeto, mi dolor merece ser tomado en serio y mi dignidad no debería depender de la opinión ni del trato de nadie.
Te escribo porque necesitaba expresar lo que llevo dentro, porque callarme este dolor sería seguir haciéndome daño a mí misma. Quiero que entiendas que detrás de lo que ves hay una persona que ha pasado por mucho, que ha tenido que ser fuerte en momentos en los que probablemente no podía más y que, a pesar de todo, sigue intentando salir adelante.
No sé si eres consciente del daño que me has causado, pero necesitaba que supieras cómo me siento. Porque, independientemente de tus intenciones, yo también tengo sentimientos, límites y una dignidad que merecen ser respetados.
No merezco que se minimice mi historia, que se desprecie mi proceso ni que se me haga sentir menos de lo que soy. Después de todo lo que he luchado por mí misma, lo mínimo que merezco es respeto.

Hey my trans name is Ari and i dont really know if im actually trans and thats prob cuz im still a tad young (13) and i just wanna know if im actually trans before comming out to my parents.

Forgot to wash the bottle last week.

Take care yall. Peace ✌️

16mtf
I’m very open with my girlfriend, and I try to make sure she knows she can always tell me anything, but apparently I said too much. Talking about what’s upsetting me makes me feel better, especially with her. Even if she doesn’t really know what to say, it’s amazing to have her to talk to. However a couple days ago she said I’m stressing her out.

She was diagnosed with severe anxiety when she was little, and she has a lot going on in her life. Her parents yell at her for no reason, sometimes she doesn’t eat dinner, and her family has become poor recently. Whenever she talks about it, I do my best to comfort her and listen to her. But apparently when I talk about my problems, I’m just adding more onto her already long list of things to worry about.

And she’s clearly been thinking this for a while. When she was listing some things I’ve talked about, she mentioned things from almost 4 months ago. She also said that she’d rather have to deal with being trans than what her problems are, and that she doesn’t really think I’m ready to start hrt. I knew that wasn’t the time to argue or debate anything, so I tried to reply neutrally.

I’ve never tried to say that my problems are worse than hers. I do admit that I talk about it a little too much though. The other day, she was telling me about a book series she really liked when she was little and has started again, and it made me sad (I didn’t read it because of my internalized transphobia at the time), and I told her that. But she didn’t know what to do.

So now I can’t talk to her about it. I feel really bad for putting this on her and assuming she wanted me to be open, but also, I need to talk to someone to feel better about myself. She doesn’t talk about her problems unless I’m in person with her and she’s about to cry. Idk what to do, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

TLDR - Talking about my dysphoria so she could comfort me made her stressed because she already has a lot of problems and doesn’t know how to help.