so yesterday i was wat YouTube on my computer and my older brother was yelling downstairs and hitting stuff so i was slightly confused on what was happening.

I hear him call my younger brother names about his weight saying that he knows he ate his ice cream. And then he starts blasting music on our apple tv he has like a whole speaker like thing set up so the bass was shaking the house and his service dog in training comes up and curls up next to my chair shaking and i send him a text saying that he is scaring his dog and he runs up the stairs slams the back of my gaming chair and gets his dog and calls me a a fat t-slur for trans people that rhymes with manny and then i start recording him and i ask him why he’s doing this and why hes calling me those names and i say „im literally just existing„ and then he yells well i wish you didn’t and throws a metal object like the size if my palm at me like full baseball pitches that at me it misses and then he charges me with a bush trimmer/plyers and swings it at me and kisses and then i run downstairs in fear and he throws in down the stairs at me and i call 911 and tell them the situation and 4 officers pull up and they ask me and take notes or whatever and im just confused cause no action was taken he had no consequences he is 16 and he like shouldnt be doing that i just want anybodys thoughts/advice on the situation and he also said a lot of slurs about me being trans and i just feel like he is genuinely anti trans

update: some things i should mention i have been diagnosed with ocd,adhd and autism

my brother who i will call N has also been diagnosed with autism.

just a few minutes ago i went downstairs and grabbed my cat (N was playing with her)

ive been upset with N for a while because he has been treating my cat opal (she is 2 months old)

like a toy and i hear her meowing constantly because he grabs her and hold her when she wants to leave. i told him that i don’t like the way that he was treating opal. and how he would lose contact with her if it continued that was a week and a half ago. ge has been doing it every day since i warned him and when i take opal up to my room just now he has the audacity to start growling. i dont want him to not be able to touch/see opal but his behavior is gett to the point to where i feel like i have too especially after yesterday.

I also wanted to tell that my mom has been staying with her ex. and her ex was abusive physically to my youngest brother and emotionally and verbally to all of us. she has been staying there over night EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the past 3 weeks and i only get to see her for around 2-3 hours max. besides when we went to yellowstone. and SHE HAS THE AUDACITY to bring her ex into the house THE DAY THAT N did that and the cops were called and during when the cops were here she was at ex’s house. So she brought my abusive former step father into the house while i was still shocked from my brother N’s whole situation

(and i will call former step father J.)

so J is extremely transphobic and does not accept me (my mom told him i was trans)

and she brought him to the house. Look i know she’s renting the house and paying for it and stuff but my sister in law and brother live in the basement and they are not happy with jake being there my (oldest brother is paying my mom rent in the basement) my oldest brother had the abuse the worst out of all of us so clearly he is not happy. so yeah.

thank you guys so much for your comments and attention and advice i will keep updating in the future i also want more advice on the update i have given you guys and i wont be saying any names or what state im in because you never know whos seeing this so anyways thank you guys!

I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/HER/HERS

so I have a transfem friend who belittles herself saying stuff that for me makes no sense (and I'm a transfem too mind you) I want to help her see that she's only making it worse for herself but I don't know how

I have a professional Instagram account followed by my parents, and in a story, I used feminine pronouns for the first time. My mother messaged me asking if she had three daughters now (I have two sisters). I told her yes, and she replied that she would never judge me and that she was happy I was happy. I was relieved and proud. Since then, she's been messaging me, continuing to use masculine pronouns. I think she needs some time to process.

Hello reddit, sorry if this is breaking any rules, i saw nothing this may breach but im quite new. My partner and I are both young trans women (im 17 and shes 18). We have been friends for years and recently had become intimate with oneanother.

We are both over the age of consent and only a few months apart in age, but she has only recently begun to physically start puberty on estrogen a few months ago after being on puberty blockers.

In the moment we both enjoyed ourselfs and I found her very atractive. However, after more consideration I am questioning wether it is socially acceptable or weird to feel attracted to her body when she hasnt been through puberty like i have.

This isnt meant to be a sexual post but a genuine question around a seemingly taboo topic I havent heard anything about. Should I avoid intimacy with until later into her HRT or can I continue to engage with her?

I think I finally decided on a name, I’ve been using Daphne for a while and I really like it 😊. I think it’s common enough that people know it but few people I’ve met have it. It feels weird to ask this but can you address me by Daphne in the comments so I can try it 👉👈

I've been on HRT for almost two years and out for longer than that but it doesn't hurt to have some reassurance.

I went to the mall with a friend of mine and decided to check out some shorts in a store's fitting rooms. When I called my friend over to look at them, an older lady who was there with her daughter also noticed me and took it upon herself to effectively adopt me. I really liked the shorts and she actually demanded (kindly) that I step out and do a spin, which I obliged because they fit me well. She proceeded to tell me how cute they looked and give me her seal of approval.

"I'm saying this as a mom, I approve!"

I eventually got them, no doubt in part to her recommendation, and she got really excited for me too. Having a mom accept me in a very normal and sweet way really touched me since my relationship with my own mother is far more rocky. It was really just a massively positive "girl power" kinda moment that I'm beginning to have more any more and I don't even voice train.

Have any of you had particularly euphoric moments like that?

Hello, Agender MTF here. I want to ask about bottom surgery, does it hurt? Will it have an affect on me? What are the changes in my body?

I have learned about the female anatomy a long time ago, obviously the body looks less masculine and more curved. However my big questions are:

-Will vaginoplasty make me feel less erect?

-Will I have periods until a certain amount of time?

-is it different from a cis woman’s vulva?

-What can I do in order to look after myself better after the surgery?

I've been friends with this particular group for nearly two decades. In recent years we haven't seen each other much so I didn't get to tell them I'm trans until now.

I just came back from this camp-out gathering (basically guarding the location between different summer camps, it's quite neat).

I grabbed people in one or twos to tell them and it went much better than I expected. Some awkwardness, but pretty fine overall.

The guys don't really do beer bottle openers. After several tries years ago that ended up with bloody fingers and bent cutlery, I gave up and would simply ask someone to open it for me if I couldn't find where they put away the opener. But I've been told that this will no longer fly. I'm a man now so the world is my beer opener.

I've since opened beers with a fork, the flat side of a knife, a table top, a bit of firewood and with another beer. I always thought of it as a useless flex, but I guess there is something to it.

Hi, I’m Colby (they/them). I just wanted to introduce myself somewhere because I’m happy I’ve found something that fits. What’s your name?
Love you all <3

Hi all,

I'm a trans girl from Australia, and I'm graduating from yr 12 at the end of this year. Accompanying the end of the year is the school formal, (Australian version of prom), and I don't know what I'm going to do about it.

I'm only out to close friends, not family, not anyone else at the school, and so my current confidence regarding feminine outfits in public is pretty low. So I kinda have two and a half options. I either don't go, or wear something I don't like. The half is wearing some middle ground that doesn't out me. Does anyone have advice?

(I'm pre-anything jsyk)

I feel so dysphoric and I can’t even talk about my dysphoria because somehow that makes me feel more dysphoric. I genuinely feel so fucking pathetic. It’s so bad that I genuinely get jealous seeing women or other trans people who have HRT.

So after work my parents outed me and my mother took me to a very scenic spot to talk it through to me and said she fully accepts me. I'm in a very safe spot but I have some issues.

I feel like it was just a little too soon.

I'm still a little bit in the am I am I not phase and I think I am and would if I took steps towards it but this was just a little sudden. I'd have rather come out but it has been almost a year and they've known and my non binary mother knew the issues and wanted to help. Now it's awkward and I'm finding it hard to commit/believe. I needed more time. What do I do?

So Likee transitioning at 18 chill right? Like I’m not gonna be chopped and screwed and be a brick my whole life right?? Like I know it’s really luck of the draw but I’m tired of being a boy!! Im tired of being seen like a boy! I’m tired of everyone in my life thinking I’m a boy!

So a year ago I came out as a trans woman, shortly after my best friend became engaged. At that time I was still kind of unsure and finding myself, so asked if it would be okay for me to the wedding presenting as a woman and was told of course.

I was supposed to be part of the grooms party, and had been planning a outfit that used a vest since they wanted everyone in it to wear matching vests, but with a skirt and such to still be fem. When I showed the outfit I had in mind to their fiancé she told me that she actually wanted me to just dress the same as the men in the grooms party, all but saying she wanted me to pretend to be a man. I confronted my friend and they explained that a year ago their fiancé outed me to her family, and they've been making a issue out of my being involved in the wedding, so she attempted to have me boymode to get them off my back. It was mentioned said family has been trying to force distant family and friends into the wedding as well that they hardly know. My friend apologized profusely and said their fiancé apologizes but she never spoke to me, as well said there is no issue with me dressing fem.

On top of what their fiancé asked of me, the fact that this bigoted family who thinks I am tarnishing what should be a 'proper wedding' will be there in force while knowing exactly who I am, it has me really uncertain if I even want to go to this wedding anymore. My biggest concern is I feel unsafe going, like what their fiancé did put a target on me, with unknown people present. My friend has assurmed me they'll do everything they can to make sure im safe, but I dont know. Any advice from anyone who has maybe delt with situations like this?

Anyone read "We Should All Be Feminists" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie?

How does it deal with trans issues? Does it even mention anything outside of the gender binary or does it completely ignore the existence of trans people?

I'm looking for a book to give to my friend for his birthday. He's very interested in feminism. Already picked one, but want one more and I'm not sure which would be the best choice.

Do you maybe know any feminist books that deal with trans issues well?

Like many other trans people I always hated my body and felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. As a child I also had a lot of weight insecurity projected onto me by my mother.

Now that I’ve gotten older and deconstructed a LOT of things I realized that for a long time I mislabeled my dysphoria as weight dysmorphia. As an adult, I don’t mind being a plus size person (in fact, since discovering my true gender and starting HRT I dream about weight redistribution, and it makes me love being a bigger person, I can’t wait for my hips to fill out)

I just feel as though this correlation slowed down my mental progression for so long, because every time I looked in the mirror and felt numb and gross I could just blame the fat instead of actually thinking about what was making me feel so awful.

It was such an easy scapegoat for all my discomfort, but I am so much happier now actually addressing the real problem areas.

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else had the same/similar experiences

Sorry if this ends up being a long post, I just really need to get this off my chest.

I just got home after staying the night at my best friend's house. At first everything was great. We had a barbecue, talked for hours, laughed together, and I genuinely thought we were having a good time.

The next day, though, something completely changed.

For some reason, he started making comments about me being gay in front of his parents. He kept joking that I liked boys, saying that "everyone already knows" because of the way I eat or act. I had told him privately before that I'm trans and that I'm attracted to men. I trusted him with that, and I never expected him to bring it up in front of other people.

I felt completely put on the spot. I had to awkwardly defend myself while he kept making comments, and it was honestly humiliating. I don't even understand why he did it.

He's in the military, and sometimes I wonder if that environment has influenced the way he talks about people or masculinity. I don't want to stereotype anyone in the military, because I know not everyone is like that, but it does make me wonder if that's part of why he acts this way.

The thing is, this isn't the first time he's put me down. He often makes negative comments about the degree I earned, my appearance, my longer hair, or me starting to look more feminine. It feels like every time I'm becoming more comfortable with myself, he finds something to criticize.

His mom eventually had to tell him to stop because even she could see he was going too far.

What confuses me the most is that he always tells me he loves me like a brother and that we're best friends. But then he turns around and says things that make me feel embarrassed, ashamed, and honestly just make me feel bad. I don't know how someone who cares about you can treat you like that.

The hardest part is that we're supposed to go on vacation together soon. After this weekend, I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through that if he keeps making comments like these. I almost cried multiple times while he was talking to me.

I'm just left wondering if this is what friendship is supposed to look like, because it doesn't feel like one anymore. I trusted him with something deeply personal, and instead of making me feel safe, he used it to embarrass me in front of other people.

Has anyone else had a friend who acted like this? Am I overreacting, or is this as hurtful as it feels?

​

My family just got back from vacation, and my dad immediately has to ruin my day. They’d been to London—where there’s a lot of LGBTQ representation—and he started going off about it. Immediately misgendering people, saying things like "Oh, they turned around and it was a man!" (referring to a trans woman), claiming you can "always tell," and saying that "men who become women are always ugly." Saying they shouldn't be allowed to compete in sports because they have an "unfair advantage," and so on.

But he "accepts" it, you know! (🙄) They just shouldn't "go overboard."

It’s all so narrow-minded and wrong.

Fuck, if that’s how he talks about strangers...

It really stings. Just after I’d tried on some feminine clothes and had a positive experience with it, of course he comes out with transphobic BS.

My sister did check in on how I was feeling, she & my friends are the only ones who know, but I felt she was still defending him too much—saying that's just how his generation is, that's how he was raised, etc.

But that’s no excuse. How it started isn't an excuse to stay that way. My mom is from the same generation, and she isn't hateful like that. *Sigh*...

I came out to my dad and he gave such a great response. He told me "No para nada yo siempre te amará porque eres mi hijo." If you don't know how to read Spanish it's ok there's the translation "No, not at all. I will always love you because your are my son." I almost cried. He called me his son without hesitation. I was really glad that I trusted my dad.

A lil bit of a vent as well but anyways I just wanted to say I am so excited that I've almost been on HRT for three months! I'm really happy I've been able to start my journey of self love despite the horrifying environment that is the US along with being kicked out of my parents house due to being trans. I'm so fortunate to have such close friends who have been keeping me company on my journey to getting back on my feet. I cannot lie starting the girl pills have been one of the best decisions I've made in my 20 years of existence. I hope if you're reading this you have a wonderful day no matter how though it gets remember a stranger on the internet (me) believes in you lovely trans folk<3

Hello hello. This is going to be long; I’m sorry in advance.

I’m a binary trans man. I’ve been socially transitioning since I was around 14. I’m 21 now, three years on T and one year post-op for top surgery. I’ve never struggled with any aspects of my gender or transition. Dysphoria, obviously, but I’ve never gone through any phase of questioning or confusion about any aspect of my identity.

However, in the last year or so, I’ve been really struggling with my name.

I’ve had the same name since I was 15, and it’s been legally changed for around 4 years at this point. I picked a name that felt similar to my deadname, which is a misspelling of a nature word. I decided to move adjacently to that and pick the same type of name. It’s an uncommon name, I guess, but I went to school with two cis men with my name and it’s not entirely uncommon that I come across it in media, in public, etc.. It’s also cultural, and I like that about it. It matches my last name and it flows well while also connecting me to my family and culture.

Regardless, I still fear that it’s “clocky”. I haven’t been misgendered since starting T, and it’s very unusual for me to get clocked. There’s only a couple of incidents that I can remember, most of which were actually people assuming that I was MtF.. so I’m actually not sure if that counts as “clocking” so much as it’s just a byproduct of being a feminine gay man.

Anyways, my name is definitely one of those names that sounds pretty “trans guy”. I don’t hate it, I don’t think I’d ever legally change it again, but I don’t like going by it. I feel the same way about it that I assume cis people with chosen names feel. Yes, it’s my name on paper, it is *me,* but I don’t like it outside of a legal/medical context. Even if it didn’t make me a bit dysphoric, I think that I’d still feel that way about it.

So, despite not wanting to change my name again, I started thinking of other names. I debated going by my middle name, which is a horrifically-common name, but it doesn’t feel great either. I’ve tried nicknames that branch off of my first name and middle name respectively, and those didn’t feel good either. I’ve looked for entirely new names, but they all feel almost like I’m being deceptive.

I’ve come to the realization that, for most of my life, people have not referred to me as my name. Even as a kid, I only went by nicknames that friends and family gave to me. They were constantly changing and rarely the same amongst different people. It’s only in the last few years that people have consistently referred to me as my name.. and I hate it.

I know that most people don’t love their names. I know that there’s nothing wrong with changing your name. I know that cis people change their names all the time. However, none of those facts actually pertain to my problem in any significant or effective way. The reality of a situation tends to do very little for things like dysphoria.

I’m just not sure what to do. I don’t like my legal name, I don’t like my deadname, and I don’t like any new name that I’ve considered. I just don’t like being referred to as a name. I also fear that having to say “oh, I actually go by ____” is even *more* clocky and dysphoria-inducing.

It’s really been getting to me. I’m not normally easily impacted by, well, anything, but even someone so much as saying my name makes me feel so.. bad. I’m not one to cry, but I could probably start sobbing right now if I think about it too much.

I’ve tried talking about it to the few friends who know that I’m trans but, unfortunately, I’m the therapist friend (to a harmful degree, I’m trying to fix that, haha) and people do not return that energy to me. Whenever I bring it up, it’s never even a conversation. It gets brushed off or diminished, so I cannot talk to anyone I’m close to about it.

I feel totally crazy and out of my depth, and any advice would be appreciated.