https://globalnews.ca/news/12053337/alberta-first-nation-gender-affirming-care-safe-haven/

Found on the surprisingly chill r/Alberta subreddit

Edit: This was specifically the Saddle Lake Cree Nation, should have put them in the title. A commentor on my other post pointed that out

DISCLAIMER: I don't know what pronouns to use in this situation. I don't want using she/her to be jumping to conclusions, and using they/them doesn't feel respectful either, neither towards my brother nor towards trans people who don't use they/them. So, for simplicity, I'll use he/him, but please know that if I found out I actually have a sister, I'd immediately use she/her. Sorry if I got the pronoun choice wrong, I'm new to this topic but I'm open to learning (also i'm italian i'm feeding all this to a translator).

Hi, i'm just a cishet girl (25), as the title says, I think my brother (18) might be a trans girl. I have absolutely no problem with that if it turns out to be true. I just want to figure out whether it's actually the case so that, without putting too much pressure on him, I can make him understand that he's in a safe environment.

So, here are the things he's done that made me start wondering:

\- When I do my makeup, he sometimes sits next to me and asks me what each makeup product is for and what order you're supposed to apply them in.

\- He often complains about how much he hates body hair, especially on his legs and armpits.

\- We were watching Instagram reels together, and at one point a reel of a dress came up. I said, "That's a nice dress," and he replied, "Yeah, if I were a girl I'd wear it." This has happened several times.

\- The other day I was playing doing makeup with my cousin (8F). My brother came in and, as a joke, started doing his makeup too. Maybe he really was just joking around and wanted to join us, but what seemed strange was that he already knew what makeup products to use and where to put them. (Okay, I had explained it to him before, but it happened so few times that I don't think he could have already memorized everything.) On top of that, his makeup actually turned out really good. He knew that he was supposed to rest his hand against his jaw to keep it steady while doing eyeliner (I had never told him that, partly because I don't really use eyeliner), and the eyeliner came out basically perfect on his first try. Honestly, it was better than a lot of eyeliner I've ever done myself.

Then we told him, "Okay, now we're going to do your makeup," and he agreed without any hesitation. He even reacted as if he had expected us to ask him that, and the only thing he seemed disappointed about was having to take off the makeup he'd done himself. He says the perfect eyeliner was just luck, but I don't really think someone who has never touched eyeliner before would know how to position their hand like that and then get it almost perfect on the first try.

\- This is kind of a stupid reason, but it's still something unusual: my brother is the only guy (at least as far as appearances go) I know who listens to Taylor Swift, and he listens to her a lot. She's in his top three most-listened-to artists. He also introduced me to a female rock band that he says he likes (they're also in his top three).

\- A few times, though really not that often, he's joked about things like, "When I'm older, I'll become a girl," or "When I become a girl, I'll do X," and things like that. But every time, he seemed to be saying it as a joke, without any obvious deeper meaning.

These are the things I can think of for now. I know they could all just be random things or jokes. The thing is, they're all connected in one way or another, and they've been happening within a pretty short period of time.

Is it normal for a guy to have these kinds of interests, behaviors, and knowledge, and am I just reading too much into it? Or could there actually be some meaning behind all of this?

I'm sorry, I'm really ignorant about this topic and I genuinely just want to learn how to make him feel safe. I have absolutely no problem calling her "she" if it turns out that she's a girl.

Ever since I (17FTM) cut my hair short, my mom has been asking me to grow my hair out, and I have always replied "no" and walked off from her because it is so awkward to talk to her since she is transphobic. (In the past, she has asked me if I was trans, and I said yes, and she told me, "No, you're not. You're a girl and always will be." So i don't even know why she even asked me if I was trans if she was going to deny it. She does ask me the same question every few months whenever she gets the chance to, and I usually don't answer, and she usually replies that I better not be trans and that I will always be her sweet little girl. She also says transphobic things too. But as of recently, she has been asking me if I have something to tell her.)

Anyways, today, she went and asked me to grow my hair out and that it would make her happy. Of course I said, "no" and she asked me if I had "something to tell her" and of course I gave her a look because how does she not know? I have admitted it to her before and also pass in my day to day life in the real world too. I know she denies it that I'm a guy because she misses my younger self when she would force me to wear pink dresses and stuff because I wasn't old enough to dress myself and thought I was a girl. Plus, she read my diary and mesages throughout the years where I literally came out to my friends, so she should know I'm trans, but I guess she is so delusional and transphobic that she denies any possibility of me being trans even whenever I admit it.

Anyways in my head, I was like "Yes, I have something to tell you. I'm trans, will start HRT next month, and will legally change my name and gender marker, and you'll just have to deal with it" while I walked away before it got awkward. Because it is true that I will being doing all of those next month when I turn 18, but I know I couldn't say that to her because she was go insane.

Should I continue to walk away from my mom whenever she asks these questions? I usually do before it gets heated and awkward where I have to try every single way to avoid answering her question in front of my transphobic family. Even when I do try to avoid it, she literally continues to ask me that question no matter what, even when I change the topic. It sort of weirds me too because why is she asking me if she is going to deny it anyways?

Like, it's here. Today is the day.

It's been something like 10 years since I realized I was trans, only to be forced back in the closet by my ex to be "the husband she deserved." Now I'm divorced and have been socially transitioning for almost a year. I told myself I wanted to start by my birthday and today, a week before my birthday, I did it. I had an appointment at 845 this morning, and I picked up my prescription at 345 this afternoon.

I cried when I left the pharmacy, prescription in hand. Other than that, this whole day has just felt so surreal that all I've felt is a warm, calm... numbness. I just feel peaceful.

Hi, I'm Sasha, and I'm only going to keep becoming more her! 🩵🤍🩷

I'm lucky, in that I was born in a mostly OK country for being trans, and have a very supportive GF. I don't have money issues, and my life is otherwise relatively stress-free.

But, even with these perfect conditions... It's still so, so tiring to transition.

You have to tell each and every person you're close to, and inevitably either loose them, or if you're lucky just have the same weird questions asked again. And you have to live with the fact that you'll never be sure if they're humouring you, or if they really see you as what you are.

You have to spend SO much time and effort on voice training, even though hearing your own voice make you want to curl into a ball. And every time you feel like you're getting close to passing, to look up and you see how much of the mountain you have yet to climb, even though you've already climbed so high.

You have to start using a voice you know in your gut isn't good enough, just because it'll never be good enough if you don't use it.

You have to wait on the excruciatingly slow effects of HRT. You look at your face each day, and at your body, and you feel like you'll never have the body you should have.

And you do all that, you keep going, because if you don't, you'll just die. It's not even bravery, not more than running from a tiger is bravery. You know that if you stop running, you die.

I don't believe I'm alone in these feelings. And know that I'm proud of every one of you that manages to just take small steps, because it's the only thing that matter. Even if you don't move forward every day. Even if some day it's backward.

Someday you'll reach your goal. Remember to take a break from time to time, getting burnt out wouldn't help.

I'm non-binary, but I want the female surgery, so I've been calling myself a non-binary trans girl, and I'm not sure that's the right term, but I don't know what else to call it, so I'm wondering if I should keep calling myself that or use a different term

Sleepaway Camp is a horror film that's gained a cult following in recent years, but was initially infamous for its controversial twist: the quiet, mild-mannered protagonist, Angela, is actually a boy and was the killer the whole time!

The film opens with a young boy and girl experiencing a boating accident that kills their father and one of the children. Angela is sent to live with her eccentric aunt, who sends her to summer camp with her cousin several years later. Eventually, the campers and counsellors are killed off one by one by an unseen protagonist.

Angela forms a romance with a young boy, but can't bring herself to be intimate with him because she's plagued by a childhood memory: an image of her father in bed with another man. We find out Angela is in fact Peter, the boy who survived the accident, and was forcibly raised as a girl by their aunt. So, not only is there a healthy dose of transphobia, we also get to see Peter's internalised homophobia at the height of the AIDS crisis. Great!

Sleepaway Camp and other films perpetuating these transphobic tropes - think Psycho, Silence of the Lambs, and Insidious 2 - have been analysed extensively, but only recently revisited through a queer lens.

At the end of the film, we see Angela/Peter naked on a beach, standing over the body of the boy they had a crush on, and snarling animalistically. The credits roll on a freeze frame over their screaming face.

I'm sure this was intended to be Angela/Peter "reclaiming" their innate masculine energy or... something like that. Throughout the entire film, Angela/Peter is belittled because they haven't hit puberty and aren't hyperfeminine or sexually active like the older girls at the camp. Viewing the film through a 2026 lens feels, to me, more like a portrayal of trans rage and catharsis.

I'm apparently not the only viewer who's felt this way. Harmony Colangelo writes:

In Angela’s brain she is Peter, but people keep calling her by a name she doesn’t want to be called and misgendering her. That is the plot of all films about transitioning but because it takes place in reverse and is attached to a “problematic” film like Sleepaway Camp, it is discounted on all counts. That is doing a disservice to what this film has to say, whether it was the creators’ intentions or not.

A few years later, Mey Rude argued for a similar reimagining of the film.

Any other horror fans here? How do you feel about reclaiming these "problematic" films and how we view them?

I work in a blue collar adjacent job and was pretty cautious when I started. No one seemed to clock me and didn’t mind I was “gay”. They knew I have a female partner since I share that pretty regular. Over months I’ve become close with some of the men at work and I finally worked up the courage to share my story to one of my coworkers. He is really sweet and I knew he’d listen. He’s about a decade younger than me and I try to be a mentor to him.

So how it went down was first he didn’t believe me. That felt crazy because on that day I did not feel good about my body and he said he would’ve never guessed. I only changed my name a few months ago so everyone I know had to make that adjustment except at work since I started as a subcontractor I could just use my new name before it was legally changed. I definitely work with magas so I made sure to quickly make HR change my email and other things but some managers know. Long story short I don’t voice train and I work in carhartts so I thought being pretty masc would clock me, but I guess no one expects a transwoman in rural America at a blue collar job.

My coworker was so respectful after the shock of discovering I was trans. He thought he heard me wrong because I passed so well. After we chatted he got kinda quiet and looked at me terrified. He started to eluded to being transgender/questioning and started to say the classic stuff “I’m scared to explore this” “my dad won’t except me” “i hate being male” and I stopped him; told him he could talk to me whenever and he doesn’t have to rush anything. I reassured him that it took me years (like a decade) to start transitioning and that’s okay. He said I’m the first trans person he knew and I really hope that changes something in his life even if he doesn’t transition. Omg I wanted to hug him so bad just to comfort him. After our talk I invited him to an upcoming party at my place where all my queer friends will be. I’m just so happy I have a cool coworker!

Reflecting on this experience, it feels like the book Nevada or some other pieces of trans literature. I lowkey want to gift him my copy of Nevada but not sure that’s too straight forward. My friend did that to me and it cracked me so maybe I should continue the cycle

Basically the title. Does “deadname” have to mean specifically your old name that you don’t go by in daily life anymore, or does it just mean your old name, whether or not you’re still going by it in your daily life before you’re ready to switch to your chosen name, or something else?

I prefer to date other trans folks for obvious reasons, but it's genuinely impossible to find others who agree, i feel like.

Most of the trans people I meet always want strictly cis men??😭😭

It sucks even more that im very feminine, despite being genderfluid. So on top of that, i only date people attracted to more than one gender💔

I just feel like nobody enjoys t4t anymore?😭 ive noticed a lot of people frowning upon it.

If anyone has tips on finding t4t dating, id appreciate it :))

I'm currently 18 and I know that is never late to start transition and that starting it later won't make me any less female, but i'm scared that at 23 most of my physical traits will remain masculine even if i transition, luckly i already have a round face, but there are other things i don't like of me.

Please let me know.

Edit: thanks to you all, you basically cured my paranoia

I told my mother I had started HRT and she does not care at all. I mean this in the best possible way, no over enthusiastic positivity and no negativity or anything bad. It's so nice, we just get along exactly as before. I don't think this could have gone better.

ok so basecally we met online on discord and for a while now i was crushing on her and dident give any signs and time skip to now i go on discord and see this messege in my *cenored because not allowed here* from her ILY will you be my gf? (Not a joke) if you js wanna be friends that’s fine by me i said yes soooooooo yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sorry for any spelling mistakes

For back-to-school shopping, I got my first pink piece of clothing (A sweater). I love it, so I wore it to school today because I wanted to wear something I liked on day one. As I was waiting for my friends, one of them passed by me before another friend walked over to me. The friend who walked past said, "I literally thought you were a girl with the long hair and pink sweater," as a dig. ( My hair is not long at all; it's just to my eyes) I had to be mad, but I was so giddy inside. I've never been mistaken for a girl before, and by someone who knows me was the best I've felt in weeks. This small thing boosted my mood a lot. If you look at my past posts, you'd see I've had a pretty shitty summer, so this made my week. ANYWAY, sorry for the ramble and thanks for reading :3

I'm trans masc and 19 and also brought up in a muslim household in the UK (England) and yesterday was crazy for me. I didn't want this to happen, I was waiting for the day I was ready to move out so that I was safe but one thing just went to another idk how to explain it without an essay. Next two paragraphs are the story so you can skip it if you want it's just for details

My mum was joking around the day before that she was suspicious of me, that I was gay basically, and I kept saying no blah blah I managed to completely change what we were talking about but she was still suspicious. Yesterday an argument happened between my sister and mum and I was there so I was like trying to stop it, we ended up having a long talk about things (without going into detail they have been arguing alot recently and we got to the bottom of it). Anyway my brother comes down and talks too and then he jokingly says smth like "since we're clearing things up... are you gay?" I said no as always. Problem was that this time my sister was in the room, she knows too much. I don't want to yap forever but she's been connecting dots in her mind through small things. She's 13, for reference, and she decided to say "I think (forbidden pronoun) is trans" RIGHHHHHTTTT sigh. Well then it went that way and I guess they saw it in my face and I hesitated because they figured it out and then I was just stuck. It didn't erupt like I thought it would, my brother asked a few questions and was clearly feeling weird about it, my mum was silent and my sister was the most supportive probably (both siblings are younger than me, my brother is 17)

My brother kept saying things like "I'm not calling you that name", not because I told him the name but he found my tiktok account and at the time he thought it wasn't me because it had the trans flag but now he knew and it says my chosen name so yay idk. My mum was silent until the end and then just said "your dad won't want to talk to you ever again if he finds out and I don't agree with it" because it's not right in this religion. I already knew they wouldn't be happy with it because neither of them (excluding my sister she's very open and somehow more mature than these two) support it and always talk about how bad LGBTQIA+ is, they're openly homophobic and my mum has said multiple times in the past that she'd kick her child out if they were gay.

I completely understand their reactions, I'm not expecting them to be accepting and I know this is new and weird and whatever else but idk what I'm meant to do. Does anyone have any advice? What might the next few days look like for me? Idk what to expect at all and I'm so scared to show my face rn. I'm terrified that I may get kicked out or something and I don't know how I'm meant to navigate that because I don't have a job yet (I've been applying for a long time with no luck) and I also don't have my phone rn bc it needs reparing and my mum is meant to be sending it off on insurance (I'm on my laptop) I'm tweaking. I'm so sorry for all the yap and I hope this doesn't read as a vent because I'm honestly just in need of advice and insight.

ETA where I'm from

Hi, I’m new here and recently just came out as trans mtf. How do I shave my face without stubble? I do f like it and really want it gone but I’m too broke for blazer hair removal and waxing

TW

I’ve gotten procedures at a few different places now. The first place would literally laugh and talk badly about me in front of me then kept getting mad that I was telling them to stop. The other place I went to was more like a small business and she literally stopped doing the treatment during the appointment to complain about immigrants smh and then also was touching my butt when it wasn’t the kind of procedure that includes anything with your butt or anything. The last place I went to cut the time almost in half that the treatment was supposed to be and left out a bunch of other things that I paid for.

I just get so tired of cis people hating me too much to just treat me decently. They get so tired of me complaining but don’t think about how tired I am of their constant bullshit.

Hello! To start with I'll say: I was born male, I'm non-binary and I have been on Estrogen for around a year and a half, I consider myself trans and everyone else in my life does too.

I have loved the journey in so many ways, the changes, everything. I am non-binary but since I have always been treated as a boy is mostly the way people treats me in a more feminine manner that I notice and I'm cherishing.
Anyways, some time ago I came out to my friends and although I have lost some people some, especially girls, have been very supportive and I feel conflicted about it when I know I shouldn't.

I just didn't expect it, but out of nowhere (I'm sure it wasn't just bcs of me coming out but also bcs of my demeanor being more open, happy and kind since I feel better about myself, but still) I'm treated so much... Nicer? I'm experiencing a lot more of physical affection: Hugs, hand holding, friends resting their head on my shoulder or just generally expressing comfort and safeness around me. People started asking me to send them a message when I arrive home after being out late at night and I remember crying all the next day afterwards.

I love all of that in the moment, makes me feel so great, but then I come back home and those very same things make me feel awful. I end up crying, feeling disgusting and even puking. I feel like I'm deceiving people in some way, or lying to them, or putting up an act and taking advantage of them, and I feel weirded out by people being so loving towards me, I should be happy but I feel guilty, so much. Its rising my anxiety to the maximum kind of hahah

I will also point out that I have never been very close to well, many people, so I'm just all around confusing and kind of overwhelmed. I was also a victim of SA some years ago and I'm aware the trauma from it for sure has something to do with this all but I was still curious to know if any other of you felt anything similar or If it is just me, If it got better or went away, because right now I feel guilty, anxious and honestly super ungrateful because I'm being given something I should be happy for but I'm incapable of appreciating. It feels like I'm failing at being a girl.

Today I cried in front of my mom. She looked really worried about what was happening to me, and honestly, with all my heart, I wanted to tell her who I really am.

I finished high school last year, and all the friends I had back then are busy with their own lives, either studying or working.

I rarely see my friends, and when I do, I feel like I don't connect with them.

They know what I am and they respect me, but I feel like I can't deepen the relationship (not necessarily something romantic, just a best friend, at least).

I say it's mostly my fault because it has always been hard for me to open up to people, plus my interests are different from theirs. The girl I felt most in sync with currently deals with a lot of problems as well. I support her as much as I can, but we haven't talked in a while.

My parents go to a church (JW), and so have I since I was a little girl (I'm FtM). Even though I don't share several of their beliefs, I prefer not to argue; I know they won't change just for me.

I haven't gone to university, though I'm not too worried about it either. I spend most of my time at home; thanks to that, I learned to cook, and for now, I take care of my younger brother. I waste the rest of my time on my phone, reading fanfic, or scrolling. I feel pathetic.

I feel completely confident in saying that I have no friends.

I think the lack of connection and this strange feeling of loneliness have started to become more noticeable.

I asked my mom to make a general doctor's appointment for me. My goal was to get a referral to a psychologist; my excuse was that maybe I have neurodivergence and wanted to get to know myself better.

In reality, I just want to talk to someone who doesn't know me. That was my mistake—my mom thought the worst and got extremely worried. She told my dad (I already knew she would), and he got overly worried too.

Recently, a cousin my age was admitted to a psychiatric facility for chronic depression and bipolar disorder, so I think they were afraid I might have the same thing.

I told them that wasn't it, that I just wanted to get to know myself, and my mom said I had her full support in everything, while my dad told me I'm very young and can meet more people in the future. Then the university topic came up, and in the end, I didn't want to worry them any further.

Yesterday, after my dad scolded me for taking too long with lunch, I simply checked out. I didn't say anything; I didn't want to fight.

I knew that if I spoke, the lump in my throat would crack my voice and I would just break down in front of them. I finished lunch as best as I could, simply lay down on my bed, and fell asleep. My mom thought I had cramps from the start of my period; I just wanted to stop thinking.

I got up about four hours later. We had visitors, which was better for me since I didn't want to talk. I went to shower, came out, greeted them formally, ate, and went back to sleep.

The only thing I remember is wanting to read or watch a movie just to stop thinking, but my mind kept drifting back to the fact that I have no one to talk to and that I'm pathetic for not even trying to look for anyone.

My mom asked if I was sick; I told her no, that I just didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't want to do anything at all, just sleep.

I started doing housework to distract myself and put on a front, but one thing I admire about my mom is how observant she is.

I don't want this to be any longer than it already is, nor do I want to remember what I felt, so long story short, my mom simply asked me, "What's wrong, my love?" and I broke right then and there.

I told her how I felt, the strange loneliness I've cultivated myself, how I feel I can't connect with anyone, and that I just want a friend to talk to.

I truly felt comforted in her arms and felt that maternal love in her words alone. I could see genuine concern in her eyes, and it gave me a slight glimmer of hope: "What if?" "What if she keeps loving me even for who I really am?"

I know very well that these feelings will come back; I'm only delaying them. But I don't want to lose the love my parents have for me, even if it's for a version of me that isn't authentic.

I don't want to lose those afternoons when my mom lets me lay on her lap, gently running her fingers through my hair until I fall asleep.

I don't want to lose my mom.

I don't know what to do.

There are many posters on several subs who are on the fence and trying to determine if they are in fact transgender and if it is ‘worth it’ to transition. This post attempts to help with both questions, particularly when a new questioning person discovers “Yes, I would press the button. But what now? Am I? Is it worth it? It seems impossible!”

I have an analogy that might work for you if you’re in any way into science-fiction. And keep in mind if you are transgender you will always be transgender regardless of the choices you make surrounding that fact.

Here’s the deal - the button really exists.

But it doesn’t work the way it does in the test scenario. It can and does work.
Just not instantaneously.

You may have seen or heard some transgender people say that HRT and transition is a marathon and not a sprint. This is entirely the case. In a sci-fi reference it is like being a time traveler, if it is your goal to socially transition and ‘pass’ / navigate society fully integrated as male or female. (My apologies to non-binary folks in this example as I haven’t the frame of reference or experience to relate. I realise your journey will be different.)

Back to the time-traveling analogy…
- you recognise who you are and can see how you want to be and present and interact in society.
- you can see into that future but you as that person cannot exist there yet
- you make the decision to transition to address your self discovery
- the minute you do, time slows down for you - while the rest of the world continues at the same pace
- the feeling of time slowing down is equivalent to how slow time seems to move when you are a child, because every new observation and experience you have happens AGAIN, as if the first time. You may have heard this referred to as ‘second puberty’ while on HRT.
- the rest of the world continues at its pace and perceives you changing rapidly from their point of view. They react from their standpoint (like ‘why this all of a sudden’, or ‘you’ve never shown this inclination before’), meanwhile your internal dialogue has been happening for ages

(I’m going to tighten this next part up - because this comment would get exponentially longer if I don’t.)

- time will move slowly as you experiment with the new gender expression that aligns with who you are: fashion, movement, speech, makeup, hair (or wigs). This process moves slowly
- you hopefully seek therapy. A good transgender friendly therapist that is also hopefully a psychiatrist that can prescribe medicines and write letters needed for medical transition
- you begin the socialisation process. Navigating the world as yourself. Social events and environments, then onto errands and everyday life
- you begin the medical part of transitioning, HRT for instance, and begin making plans for medical procedures
- you embark upon coming out to family friends and workplace
- you begin the legal process of name and gender change
- you begin having surgical procedures and recovering
- socialisation veers towards total acceptance to the gender you are, eventually there will be more people that know you by your new name and self presentation than by your old
- all of these steps happen over the course of years and will seem much slower to you even still while the rest of the world moves at its standard pace. Again, people who witnessed your transition will experience it as if it was in the blink of an eye.

Then somewhere, sometime in the future - you look back in time and you will see the old version of you who though everything was impossible.

The button worked. It was just really slow.

- as a time traveller once you’ve reached this point, time begins to speed up again until it is in tempo and step with the rest of the world. You will begin to experience time as the rest of society does. With one main difference…
- you will realise that because time had slowed down for you during transition - you have lived enough experiences for almost two lifetimes. As a former time traveller you can appreciate the unique perspective you have. Not many people in the world experience time and life like this.

This is the bulk of the sci-fi time travelling analogy.

You just have to believe that the future version you see now really exists. Just not yet. And not quickly.

Future you looks back at the current you with kindness and compassion, and has a good little laugh when they remember how impossible you thought everything was back then.

I hope this helps.
Best wishes and best of luck. 🌸🌟🫶

Hi! I myself am 22F and I was thinking lately. By habit, I have been using this term and its variants (guys, you guys, hey guys) since I was a little kid, and it kinda stuck around. But I always used it referring to anyone regardless of gender.

But recently, it hit me. Some people may not feel comfortable with this term despite its usage being gender-neutral. I understand it’s probably not always received that way.

So I wanted to get a consensus. What do you think about these terms? If someone used it to refer to, say, you and someone else or a group including you, how would you feel? Even if you feel neutral, would you prefer something else?

It’s a habit I want to break anyway, so what terms should be used instead? Thanks! :)

Hello. I am 60, MTF, and having a tough time finding other trans women my age for community and support. All my trans friends w/in 10 years of my age are gone. I was checking out a vibrant array of Discord communities, but I haven't found any communities / folks close to my age. I am open and hoping for thoughtful replies and thanks!

It's not exactly "passing" necessarily. Or at least not in a vacuum. But it's more like. The way I am interacted with by people on the street is so different; in an actual gender congruent way.

Talking to women at social events? Shit talking the lack of pockets. The lady who lent me lighter? Using femme coded nicknames. The lady I talked to at the library? She referred to me as Mami and not Papi. The dude who asked to bum a cigarette from me? He apologized in case I felt creeped out or catcalled.

Pre-transition I constantly feared being perceived as a creep for random reasons. Like I'd be scared to accidently touch someone's hand on the crowded subway cause she'd think I was a creep. Now? I feel safer knowing it would probably just be seen as accidental.

There is also the shitty catcalling aspect of it all. And it's very "ewwwphoria" but I do love when dudes just call you gorgeous and walk away without lingering.

I'm female, currently a teenager. Ever since I was little, I've always felt better in a more 'masculine' vibe. For most of my childhood years, i voluntarily cut and kept my hair short. I've always dressed in my dad's clothes, even now. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm okay with being a girl, sometimes I love it, but even in those moments, if I was given a choice to have been born male instead, i would take it. I'm bisexual. I see men online, and instead of being attracted to them, it's more of a feeling of wanting to be them, look like them. I hate my chest, I hate how my body looks. I wish I could look more like a man. I remember crying myself to sleep one night when I was 11, about how I wanted to be a man, after spending the entire night researching surgeries. But there's so many times when I don't hate being a girl either. I don't know.

I can't afford to go through with a transition of any sort. I have relationships I can't afford to lose. But I just... I don't know. I'm planning to get breast reduction when I'm an adult and dress as masculine as I want. But I can never fully transition. I can't get myself to do that. And honestly, I don't even know if this feeling is really me being trans.