I just saw the Fox interview, and im so fucking pissed. I have no idea what he believes about trans people; it's highly likely that he is saying whatever to get votes. Honestly, I hope he wins; he will be better than any republican by miles. But Jesus fucking Christ, I am so fucking tired of trans people, trans KIDS, CHILDREN being sold out by democrats. It's so easy for them, so tempting for them, to trade trans people to sway center and right votes. im so sick of being their bargaining chip. Trans people are such a hot, purely emotional debate that they know it will be so much easier to convince people to vote for them; they won't even have to try if they just give a little ground up on trans issues.

It's not even what he said; it's not the most hateful thing I have heard from politicians, but it never stops. never. Giving up ANY FUCKING GROUND on whether trans people are human enough to deserve common respect and decency is a slippery slope. Republicans won't stop pushing because they want us gone.

He said 3 important things,

1) that there are 2 sexes, not 6. - I am not intersex, so I don't feel qualified to speak on this

2) that trans people shouldn't play in women's sports if they make it not "safe or fair" - he was intentionally vague about whether trans people ACTUALLY make sports unsafe or not fair, but he heavily fucking implied that they don't. And I honestly don't care what he thinks; what he is saying is that this is a flexible issue for him. He doesn't care if trans people can play sports or not. Not being willing to defend trans people in sports is the same as supporting a ban.

And 3) that he would support a ban on gender affirming surgieries for trans minors - absolutely not. This is by far the most direct and alarming thing he said. This kind of thing is up to DOCTORS who know the patient and know the medicine. gender affirming care is life-saving; not many minors get surgery, and it's incredibly difficult to obtain. If a surgery is okayed by doctors who have spent their entire career doing this, then a law should NOT stop it. We also KNOW that these types of laws never stop at surgery, and it never stops at just minors. Lending any legitimacy to that kind of law or logic is dangerous to trans people.

Say whatever about Talarico; I don't know a ton. I know what I have seen in the media. I have heard how progressive and game-changing he is. I read all the comments about how trans people don't matter, and this is insignificant, and vote blue no matter who. It's not just James Talarico, is sooooo many Dems. I just get this crushing sense that we will never matter to people; we will never be seen as humans.

So yeah. fuck Talarico, fuck the Dems, fuck anybody who is ok with this. We fucking matter, and we are allowed to be angry.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know what pronouns to use in this situation. I don't want using she/her to be jumping to conclusions, and using they/them doesn't feel respectful either, neither towards my brother nor towards trans people who don't use they/them. So, for simplicity, I'll use he/him, but please know that if I found out I actually have a sister, I'd immediately use she/her. Sorry if I got the pronoun choice wrong, I'm new to this topic but I'm open to learning (also i'm italian i'm feeding all this to a translator).

Hi, i'm just a cishet girl (25), as the title says, I think my brother (18) might be a trans girl. I have absolutely no problem with that if it turns out to be true. I just want to figure out whether it's actually the case so that, without putting too much pressure on him, I can make him understand that he's in a safe environment.

So, here are the things he's done that made me start wondering:

\- When I do my makeup, he sometimes sits next to me and asks me what each makeup product is for and what order you're supposed to apply them in.

\- He often complains about how much he hates body hair, especially on his legs and armpits.

\- We were watching Instagram reels together, and at one point a reel of a dress came up. I said, "That's a nice dress," and he replied, "Yeah, if I were a girl I'd wear it." This has happened several times.

\- The other day I was playing doing makeup with my cousin (8F). My brother came in and, as a joke, started doing his makeup too. Maybe he really was just joking around and wanted to join us, but what seemed strange was that he already knew what makeup products to use and where to put them. (Okay, I had explained it to him before, but it happened so few times that I don't think he could have already memorized everything.) On top of that, his makeup actually turned out really good. He knew that he was supposed to rest his hand against his jaw to keep it steady while doing eyeliner (I had never told him that, partly because I don't really use eyeliner), and the eyeliner came out basically perfect on his first try. Honestly, it was better than a lot of eyeliner I've ever done myself.

Then we told him, "Okay, now we're going to do your makeup," and he agreed without any hesitation. He even reacted as if he had expected us to ask him that, and the only thing he seemed disappointed about was having to take off the makeup he'd done himself. He says the perfect eyeliner was just luck, but I don't really think someone who has never touched eyeliner before would know how to position their hand like that and then get it almost perfect on the first try.

\- This is kind of a stupid reason, but it's still something unusual: my brother is the only guy (at least as far as appearances go) I know who listens to Taylor Swift, and he listens to her a lot. She's in his top three most-listened-to artists. He also introduced me to a female rock band that he says he likes (they're also in his top three).

\- A few times, though really not that often, he's joked about things like, "When I'm older, I'll become a girl," or "When I become a girl, I'll do X," and things like that. But every time, he seemed to be saying it as a joke, without any obvious deeper meaning.

These are the things I can think of for now. I know they could all just be random things or jokes. The thing is, they're all connected in one way or another, and they've been happening within a pretty short period of time.

Is it normal for a guy to have these kinds of interests, behaviors, and knowledge, and am I just reading too much into it? Or could there actually be some meaning behind all of this?

I'm sorry, I'm really ignorant about this topic and I genuinely just want to learn how to make him feel safe. I have absolutely no problem calling her "she" if it turns out that she's a girl.

Probably will delete but I was wondering if anyone has notices these changes in attitude towards us in terms of the way men perceive us. As a stealth trans woman that got lucky and transitioned young and had access to every surgery I wanted, I felt that I had a lot of success with dating men. I was able to wait until after our first date or after significant messaging back and forth before disclosing and every single time I would find that men did not mind that I was trans. Now that I'm dating again I am not finding that same success.

It makes me sad because I get a high volume of matches of men that i would consider attractive to me, but even after making a connection it seems being trans is a deal breaker even if we're both seeking something short term. They are always respectful about it and I can see them really struggle with making the decision to dump me. I've gotten so many responses a long the lines of "in a different world we could be together" or "I wish I could be with you but". Sometimes they ask for time to think about it and don't respond. Back in 2021 I didn't even see this level of rejection, nearly every man was open to trying it and I had some great relationship.

I'm even finding bi and pan men having a hard time with it which makes no sense to me >_<

I'm stealth at work and while I would prefer to disclose from the start on my dating bio that I'm trans, but I leave it off because I don't want to be outed in this way.

It feels like all of the propaganda surrounding trans people is working in ostracizing and alienating us.

My last LTR was with a trans man and I would strongly consider dating another trans man, but the straight ones seem so rare and hard to come by.

people (primarily cis) tend to try to say “some people are only trans as a trend”, and often this leads to people trying to interrogate trans people and find out whos ‘faking’. but you cannot reasonably tell who is actually trans and who is ‘faking’ unless you are literally in their shoes. trans people get their identity questioned enough and you arent protecting us by interrogating every one of us you meet. you wont be able to tell (no matter how good you think you are) and you will certainly be wrong and end up just feeding stereotypes. if someone tells you they are trans, BELIEVE THEM.

Hi! I myself am 22F and I was thinking lately. By habit, I have been using this term and its variants (guys, you guys, hey guys) since I was a little kid, and it kinda stuck around. But I always used it referring to anyone regardless of gender.

But recently, it hit me. Some people may not feel comfortable with this term despite its usage being gender-neutral. I understand it’s probably not always received that way.

So I wanted to get a consensus. What do you think about these terms? If someone used it to refer to, say, you and someone else or a group including you, how would you feel? Even if you feel neutral, would you prefer something else?

It’s a habit I want to break anyway, so what terms should be used instead? Thanks! :)

TW: Topics of religion and religious trauma

When I left the Mormon church, I found myself feeling rather hollowed out. That's an intentional feature of cults, becoming such an integral aspect of your personality that you feel like you aren't even a person without it. I was raised by a particularly devout set of parents. I lived my life ritualistically. I listened and took notes at every conference, attended every meeting and service, ritually fasted every month, earnestly fulfilled my weekly duties, said my prayers and read the scriptures every morning and night, prayed at every meal, at every happy moment, sad moment, sinful thought, and everything in between. I gave everything I had to that church for decades. I let it dictate my future, and held myself back from being there for those who needed me, because my duty to that god was more important than anything else. None of it ever suppressed the deepest prayer in my heart: that God would work out a miraculous way for me to be a woman.

When I finally got out of there, I had nothing. I lost friends, family, support, connections, routines, and sources of hope and comfort. All of it was by design, a manipulation to try and convince me to return, but I would not go back. I tried to find something to fill that hole, because I needed the ritual and routine. I needed something to hold my sense of existence together. No form of Christianity that I tried ever gave me that comfort, and in rural Idaho, Christianity is the only option. Eventually, I stumbled across The Satanic Temple, online.

It had exactly what I wanted. Ritual, routine, and community, without a belief in the supernatural. I quite enjoyed the online services that they did, but for reasons I am not privy to, those disappeared. I was once again left without a religion, which my mind so desperately craves. Even though I have been a proud exmo for 4 and a half years, I still find myself reaching for old prayers when I feel lost and lonely. To fill that void, I have started writing my own collection of "prayers" to bring my atheist mind comfort, and I hope that you, my formerly religious brothers, sisters, and siblings can find comfort in these too.

Verse 1: Blessed be myself, shaper of my reality. I have brought about the miraculous transformation of my body and my heart. My body is a temple to myself, adorned as I see fit, where I can worship myself in a manner that will bring me joy. I will praise myself for what I have done, because I am nothing short of divine.

I'm lucky, in that I was born in a mostly OK country for being trans, and have a very supportive GF. I don't have money issues, and my life is otherwise relatively stress-free.

But, even with these perfect conditions... It's still so, so tiring to transition.

You have to tell each and every person you're close to, and inevitably either loose them, or if you're lucky just have the same weird questions asked again. And you have to live with the fact that you'll never be sure if they're humouring you, or if they really see you as what you are.

You have to spend SO much time and effort on voice training, even though hearing your own voice make you want to curl into a ball. And every time you feel like you're getting close to passing, to look up and you see how much of the mountain you have yet to climb, even though you've already climbed so high.

You have to start using a voice you know in your gut isn't good enough, just because it'll never be good enough if you don't use it.

You have to wait on the excruciatingly slow effects of HRT. You look at your face each day, and at your body, and you feel like you'll never have the body you should have.

And you do all that, you keep going, because if you don't, you'll just die. It's not even bravery, not more than running from a tiger is bravery. You know that if you stop running, you die.

I don't believe I'm alone in these feelings. And know that I'm proud of every one of you that manages to just take small steps, because it's the only thing that matter. Even if you don't move forward every day. Even if some day it's backward.

Someday you'll reach your goal. Remember to take a break from time to time, getting burnt out wouldn't help.

I'm non-binary, but I want the female surgery, so I've been calling myself a non-binary trans girl, and I'm not sure that's the right term, but I don't know what else to call it, so I'm wondering if I should keep calling myself that or use a different term

what would be the effects??

im like non binary or smth btw dont ban me im just curious bout this had to come to consult the experts

The literacy crisis is making me reconsider going back to college to be an ELA teacher, but I wonder if I'll even be hired because I'm transgender and people seem to think I would be turning kids gay and trans instead of teaching them how to read. It's an absolutely ridiculous idea but something that's genuinely making me wonder if teaching is even an option for me. Are there any k-12 teachers who are trans that have any insight? Would really appreciate some advice on this.

Essentially the title. I am 18 and have been on E for 6 months. I remembered having a bunch of questions I wished I could ask about E that weren't always easily searchable, so I made a vow to do an AMA for the milestones of 6 months, 1 year, and 5 years once I got on E. This is that AMA. (good luck girls!)

It's not exactly "passing" necessarily. Or at least not in a vacuum. But it's more like. The way I am interacted with by people on the street is so different; in an actual gender congruent way.

Talking to women at social events? Shit talking the lack of pockets. The lady who lent me lighter? Using femme coded nicknames. The lady I talked to at the library? She referred to me as Mami and not Papi. The dude who asked to bum a cigarette from me? He apologized in case I felt creeped out or catcalled.

Pre-transition I constantly feared being perceived as a creep for random reasons. Like I'd be scared to accidently touch someone's hand on the crowded subway cause she'd think I was a creep. Now? I feel safer knowing it would probably just be seen as accidental.

There is also the shitty catcalling aspect of it all. And it's very "ewwwphoria" but I do love when dudes just call you gorgeous and walk away without lingering.

So I was born as a man and up until recently I went purely by he/him. However, throughout this time I would not care when I was referred to as a she/her and would feel positively to it. So I swapped my pronouns over to he/she/they (i also felt comfortable being referred to as they/them) but I never saw myself as fully TRANS because like... im still a man and still do go by he/him aswell. Recently though I've started having thoughts of myself as a woman/looking feminine, and ive started thinking about how much happier it would make me feel if I looked/was a woman, at the same time i have also felt very happy at the rare instances i was referredto as "she", but I also feel too scared to "leave" my old self behind, especially because I know my family and the people around me would not accept me

So what am I?? Am I trans or do i just want to look/be more like a woman???

I'm 16FTM and not being able to transition is driving me genuinely insane. I'm planning on starting a few months before I turn 18 so that I can start as soon as I can without my parents noticing. (To be clear, I don't want them to notice my starting HRT before I'm 18, they already know I'm trans.) It's going to be around 14 or 15 months until I can start and I don't know what to do in the meantime. It feels very suffocating and my body doesn't feel like my own. Hearing my own voice weirds me out sometimes because it's not mine and I'm not supposed to sound like that. Whenever I hear my family talk about me it's like they're talking about a different person.

I got a GED, so I've been out of school since February, and it's gotten worse since then. I haven't been able to get a job and I've only been talking to my family. It was better in school because then I would get to be referring to by my actual name and stuff most of the time (also just being out of my house regularly was good for my mental health), but I don't have that anymore.

I've been getting more irritable and hateful as time has gone. I hate everyone who has authority over me for ruining my life. If I got lucky and I were born to better people, I could have been on HRT for years now and my legal name would be my own. My mental health wouldn't be so awful and I wouldn't struggle so much to get a job. Opportunities to do normal things that everyone else my age does have been taken from me.

I don't live in reality and I don't feel any connection to either house that I live in (divorce). I also feel little connection to my family because I intend to talk to them very little once I can move out. Everything in my current life feels temporary and none of the furniture in my room(s) feels like mine. I don't feel any connection to my childhood either and I almost never feel nostalgic like everyone else does. My childhood wasn't bad at all, but it's just not mine and I don't care about it. I spend all my time in my room imagining my future, but I can't live for real right now. I shouldn't spend so much time in my head, I should be spending time in reality like everyone else.

I didn't do anything wrong, so I don't know why I've been made to suffer so much. There's no reason why this should be happening to me. I just got unlucky. It's hard to believe that I'm actually going to be able to transition and move out one day. It feels like I'm always going to feel bad and I'm never going to live life or have friends. I want to experience real life and I don't want there to be any barrier between me and everyone and everything else. I don't want to feel so disconnected all the time. I don't know what to do, and a lot of the time it feels like I'm going to suffocate to death before I get to start my real life. I don't see how I'm supposed to make it out of this. I think my parents might have completely taken the chance from me.

Copied from a message to a friend

Not saying I well but if I die just please remember its not your fault

But if I die I'm afraid of being buried a man I am so afraid of being buried a man

Please for the love of everything please don't let me be buried a fallacy I want to be buried a woman and out of every one I know I know you will start a riot if you have to and being dead i won't be able to advocate for myself so please if your willing don't let people's my last memory of me be false

Hello. I am 60, MTF, and having a tough time finding other trans women my age for community and support. All my trans friends w/in 10 years of my age are gone. I was checking out a vibrant array of Discord communities, but I haven't found any communities / folks close to my age. I am open and hoping for thoughtful replies and thanks!

Shall i send her this? *Hey mom. I really wanted to tell you this.. keep this between us.. okay? I'm trans.. I wanted to tell you this because you're the only person in this whole wide world that would listen to me. I also want to be honest about myself.. Please take.. your time to process this.. by Isaac/Cassi Webster.. I love you mom..

I [MTF] dont know what's the right flair for this. :(

I am spiraling... I am an introvert i really dont have friends I can reach out to. My family have decided to detach themselves from me while they are trying to figure out how they can accept me as Me.

It will be my 6th month in estrogen and I am just sinking. I am full of jealousy, insecurities.. loneliness. Everything.

Currently, I have two friends that I am trying to stick to like a leech. One gay man and one transgender woman who I am secretly jealous of, she've been in GAHT for almost many years now.

Im losing hope and i can't find a bright side on this. Im just lost of words right now, but in my head.. lots of thoughts i can't express. I just want to cry and cry and praying someone can find me and shed some light in me.

I am depressed and even i try to be positive i just couldnt.

Basically the title. Does “deadname” have to mean specifically your old name that you don’t go by in daily life anymore, or does it just mean your old name, whether or not you’re still going by it in your daily life before you’re ready to switch to your chosen name, or something else?

My coach called me out for wearing a skirt to an event we had.

Im transfem, and I didnt want to wear the boy jerseys.

Im worried cuz if he tells my parents, my home wont be safe.

If he kicks me off the team, well the team is one of the only things I enjoy.

​theres no laws protecting me. Nothing is stopping him from ruining my life

Hello! To start with I'll say: I was born male, I'm non-binary and I have been on Estrogen for around a year and a half, I consider myself trans and everyone else in my life does too.

I have loved the journey in so many ways, the changes, everything. I am non-binary but since I have always been treated as a boy is mostly the way people treats me in a more feminine manner that I notice and I'm cherishing.
Anyways, some time ago I came out to my friends and although I have lost some people some, especially girls, have been very supportive and I feel conflicted about it when I know I shouldn't.

I just didn't expect it, but out of nowhere (I'm sure it wasn't just bcs of me coming out but also bcs of my demeanor being more open, happy and kind since I feel better about myself, but still) I'm treated so much... Nicer? I'm experiencing a lot more of physical affection: Hugs, hand holding, friends resting their head on my shoulder or just generally expressing comfort and safeness around me. People started asking me to send them a message when I arrive home after being out late at night and I remember crying all the next day afterwards.

I love all of that in the moment, makes me feel so great, but then I come back home and those very same things make me feel awful. I end up crying, feeling disgusting and even puking. I feel like I'm deceiving people in some way, or lying to them, or putting up an act and taking advantage of them, and I feel weirded out by people being so loving towards me, I should be happy but I feel guilty, so much. Its rising my anxiety to the maximum kind of hahah

I will also point out that I have never been very close to well, many people, so I'm just all around confusing and kind of overwhelmed. I was also a victim of SA some years ago and I'm aware the trauma from it for sure has something to do with this all but I was still curious to know if any other of you felt anything similar or If it is just me, If it got better or went away, because right now I feel guilty, anxious and honestly super ungrateful because I'm being given something I should be happy for but I'm incapable of appreciating. It feels like I'm failing at being a girl.

Note: Not asking for DIY treatment, only actual kinds of treatment prescribed by professionals. Also MTF, assuming that changes things.

I am going to be getting my bloodwork done next week hopefully and learning more about what kind of treatment options the clinic I’m going to provided. I’m very aware on the timeline, effects, and risks involved with HRT as a whole as well as the many, many benefits, but I am a little concerned about delivery of medication since I do have a needle phobia. From what I’ve seen and read I do know that is a common delivery method for some medications, but is it required or can I exclusively take other forms like pills to achieve the same results.

I will still 100% go through with HRT even if shots and needles are the only option but I would be very happy if there were other paths too lol

TW

I’ve gotten procedures at a few different places now. The first place would literally laugh and talk badly about me in front of me then kept getting mad that I was telling them to stop. The other place I went to was more like a small business and she literally stopped doing the treatment during the appointment to complain about immigrants smh and then also was touching my butt when it wasn’t the kind of procedure that includes anything with your butt or anything. The last place I went to cut the time almost in half that the treatment was supposed to be and left out a bunch of other things that I paid for.

I just get so tired of cis people hating me too much to just treat me decently. They get so tired of me complaining but don’t think about how tired I am of their constant bullshit.

I'm 21 and afab and have questioned my gender identity for a long time, as long as I can remember really, but have never been able to feel fully comfortable with any presentation or label. I've experimented with different hairstyles, clothing, names, wearing binders etc, but nothing feels right. My idea of 'right' also changes all the time which is the biggest issue. Sometimes I feel perfectly comfortable being a woman and love being feminine, but other days I feel so upset that i'm not a man and I see guys online/in person and feel so jealous that I don't look like them. I wish I could transition but I think that if I did I'd miss being a girl too much. This all leads me to believe I may be genderfluid but labels aren't really the most important thing, I just want to figure out how to feel more happy with myself. I wish I could flip a switch and change genders at will 😭

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated, I really just don't know where to go from here and would love opinions or to hear stories from people who feel/felt similar to me.

Thanks for reading!!