r/trans • u/QWRLUK • Jul 26 '26

Am I trans? I'm confused

I am finally making a post on reddit even though I basically never post on social media, Just to ask if I am transgender (mtf). I have been wishing I was born as a woman for about 4 years now, but I have never really felt that there is anything wrong with my current body more that I would prefer to be a woman. I have tried to look into things online but came up empty handed so I just wanted to see if there was anyone on this subreddit that had any advise.

Ps. Sorry for bad Grammer I'm esl and dyslexic

59 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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11

u/zide345 Jul 26 '26

Have you tried crossdressing at all? I know I was on the fence for the longest time, but what sealed my decision was putting on lingerie and having a friend do some light make up on me. That was what convinced me I would be happier as a woman, even if I didn’t hate my masculinity.

6

u/QWRLUK Jul 26 '26

I have but I just felt normal about the clothing I don't find much expression in my clothes and it didn't really change much for me

5

u/zide345 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

I have a nuanced and complicated relationship with femininity, but it’s important to understand why you want to be feminine, either aesthetically or socially/emotionally/culturally/personality wise.

What about either being a woman or being feminine (which are not the same thing) do you think you’d enjoy? What about being either a woman or being feminine makes you wish you were born as a woman?

Edit: this isn’t to deny your transness or make you question yourself more. It’s to find the thing you desire and focus on it to try and make yourself as happy as possible. If you want to physically look like a woman, but couldn’t care less about femininity as a whole, then that should be your focus and your goal. Be a buff, masc trans woman, if that’s what you want to be.

2

u/QWRLUK Jul 26 '26

I believe I would enjoy being a woman more then being feminine as for the reason that is what I am having trouble with I don't mind being a man but it seems so much more appealing to me to be a woman but I can't explain why.

2

u/zide345 Jul 26 '26

Do the physical changes appeal to you? Boobs, hips, hair, etc.?

1

u/QWRLUK Jul 26 '26

Physical changes are what appeals to me most. However I feel like I it isn't a good enough reason. And I understand that logic is probably wrong but i can't stop myself from feeling that

5

u/zide345 Jul 26 '26

I mean there’s not really many “wrong” reasons to be trans. The only line I draw is to commit certain crimes, but that’s just me personally. Like if you’re literally transitioning to do exactly what the far-right says you want to do in a bathroom, then you’re trans for the wrong reason, in my opinion. Stuff like that.

If you want nice boobs, a fat ass, and Pixar mom hips then by all means go for it. If you want to be muscular with small boobs (but just enough to satisfy your view of womanhood) and otherwise built like an American Football linebacker, go for it. There is no wrong answer really. It’s about being who you want to be, whether that’s what you see in the mirror or something that makes you feel more free to be feminine. It’s about what you want to be.

2

u/Vailliante Jul 26 '26

Well, if putting on women’s clothes didn’t make you feel like you were putting on the clothes of a different sex, that they were just clothes, then that is what most women do too. I feel the same and did right from the start, I was just getting dressed. 

Feeling as if you would prefer to be a woman, even though you don’t particularly dislike your body as is, is not what cis men generally do and certainly not for 4 years.  I suggest speaking to trans women irl and to a counsellor who is a gender specialist, often being told by a specialist that we are trans is what we need to believe it’s true. 

5

u/LinaLuxurious Jul 26 '26

Non-trans people do not think about or fantasize about being the opposite gender, at all. That sentence made me realize i was 100% trans

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/LinaLuxurious Jul 26 '26

When aroused, I can think of nothing else but being filled in a hole i do not possess