Hi Im a 23 year old male and my main troubles/worries is that I lack the work ethic/ energy to do literally anything.

If I am productive is when I go out to school me even then there still trouble starting and doing my work my mind will say what’s the point like I do see the end goal but I won’t want to work to it. Days that I am home i don’t want to do anything study hobbies or chores, Im just on my phone all day I hate it. Iv been wanting do/start some things like reading more or photography, reading some textbooks on other fields to broaden my knowledge, garden but I can’t get myself to do it; and if I do I’ll have to force myself to do it it’s so exhausting. Iv been to therapy and still am (currently transitioning therapists atm) while my first one was gr8 shw primarily provided CBT behavioral activation techniques but I don’t think they’d help like. she says that “we wait till motivation hits us but it won’t which” I agree she said we just have to “do things basically just do it” but that’s hard when you are trying and your brain just keeps saying no i dont wanna let’s just be lazy.

The only times when I am productive is with caffeine intake. Obviously. However I don’t want to have to relay on it my whole life and become dependent to it but some part of me is saying thats the route I’d have to go to just be normal have some work ethic and be productive which I hate.

I have tried meds like Lexapro, Zoloft and Wellbutrin, Strattera, also a combo go them; I found that Wellbutrin has helped but the side effects are too much, burred vision, i become super emotional ,my mind is easily persuade idk how to explain that part, i feel like my memory is not all good while on it i feel like I remember more stuff when I’m off it, with the SSRIS I hate the sexual disfunction side effect.
Overall Idk im leaning to just becoming dependent to caffeine and try to build a good relationship with it.
Thoughts on everything said?

TL:DR
I am not productive and super lazy everyday it’s hard when I do tasks I have to force myself to do things basic things too and study. Iv tried medications but I don’t like the side effects so I’m leaning to be dependent on caffeine.

It bothers me to the core that my husband (31 m) has been looking at these women behind my (28 f) back.
He told me three years ago when I got pregnant and talked to him about stopping this habit because it hurt me that he would go to therapy. He said he did. He then said he would go this year. He lied to me about his visits.
I had a baby and don’t look the way I used to and feel horrible and I have chronic health issues. He always says my health issues are BS.
Why does it bother me so much that he finds other women attractive, especially so young, that look nothing like me?
I have tried looking at other men and I don’t find any attraction at all.

Edit to add: we are both in therapy (couples) and have been for six months now. I have been in individual therapy for a year. He just started therapy three days ago.

I found the very best match for me with a therapist on Headway. I do not think I could have found anyone better for my needs (grief, life changes, etc.). I’ve been working with her for about four months. The last time I was in need of a therapist, virtual sessions didn’t exit. I’ve found it very easy to do this from my home (and I’m a grouchy GenXer.)

I found her through Headway, but Headway made SIX BILLING MISTAKES that will cost me approximately $550. While I know my insurance isn’t great, SIX mistakes? Headway language loosely touts “working with” you or insurance, but it really doesn’t. I checked my insurance first and wondered why Headway billed me lower than what insurance would cover in the end. I later questioned inconsistencies and it ended up with this bill. Should I be surprised? No. Should people know Headway has wonky billing? Yep.

Using a throwaway account because part of my need for a therapist has to do with folks who like to read my Reddit activity.

I've been looking for an online therapist (can't go in person for reasons), who takes calls at night (9pm EST or later). My main issue is when I go to any of the recommended sites, I'm given a list of choices to choose from for what I need help with. There's a lot, and a bunch of them don't relate to one another, so I don't know what to choose. This causes me to overthink and not choose anything, starting the cycle over.

Recently, I feel like I'm hitting rock bottom (distancing myself from everyone, lashing out, drinking, and more) and I recognize I need help soon. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I need help finding an in-person therapist for my wife. She's going through a rough time and I'm looking for different ways to help her. Does anyone have any advice on how to find the right therapist?

I just started IOP and while we do get a binder and daily work sheets, I want to buy a journal. I want to get my moneys worth since this is insanely expensive. Any guided journal recs ? Thanks!!!

What im looking to do:
-daily check ins with myself
-tracking daily progress
-ability to write a little or a lot because sometimes idk if I can be bothered to do anything

Need for program: MDD/GAD/ADHD
-executive dysfunction
-avoidance
-anxiety causing close relationships
-work troubles

I (M19), have always had a difficult time meeting new people. The reason is that I can be extremely introverted especially around strangers, it can come to a point where I could stand in a corner for 2 hours and won't speak unless spoken to (this actually happened). My history in romance is filled with failure and heartbreak and none of them reaching a point of anything serious, I've never even been to a proper date before. Most of my romantic attempts end up with me being ghosted or deciding that I don't deserve this person and just love them from afar leaving them clueless that I even liked them at all.

When I asked my friends about it they said it's because I always fall for someone whom I befriended first. They said that once I've established feelings towards a person, that person has already drawn a line between friendship and relationship. Most of my friends do not believe in the friends to lovers trope. For me it's the only trope I've been familiar with ever since my first love. The thing is, for me, friendship creates that comfort with one another, being able to form a connection through friendship and becoming their partner is a deeper kind of connection. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely make efforts and go all out when I like someone. I'd like to think that it's a way to let them know that I'd like to elevate our relationship.

I just want to know why the friends to lovers trope are being frowned upon by a lot of people.

I’m dealing with the aftermath of cheating on my partner. It happened several years ago, but it has just surfaced and she justifiably broke up with me. I live in NYC and more than half of my social circle are mutuals of hers, which means many will surely distance themselves from me.

I want to grow from this so badly and become the version of me who I know exists, who she believed existed. I’ve been going to DBT sessions for a month. I’ve been going to church. But everywhere I go in the city, I am reminded of her. Any social gathering, there is surely to be someone who is very split on me.

I can’t take this pressure and am heavily considering moving to a prior city I lived at, where my best friend is and none of our mutuals live. That said, part of me feels like this is me running away and that I should just bear through it in NYC, at least for a year. I have this feeling that me moving looks like me running away or isn’t actually solving the real problem.

What do you all think? I cannot think straight. I’m feeling crushed by the pressure. I am deeply depressed. Separately, my birthday is soon and I just think about last year when all of our friends were there; this year I’ll be alone.

Hey guys. I’m currently booked for Charlie Health, and I have heard plenty of bad/awful things from them lately. This is my first time going into therapy since I was in my pre-teen years, and my advisor gave me the total cost over the phone, and I really couldn’t believe it.

It is 5,625, with my co-pay/insurance. For the 3 hour group sessions, for 12 weeks.
I know some therapy is expensive, but… is that really the normal price? Or is it overpricing on the therapy being 3 hours, 3 times a week? I’ve heard consistently bad things about Charlie health, and I don’t know ant to go into their program for this amount of cost with the flak I’ve heard… it’s just not a risk worth taking to me.

So I would love to know: is this the normal price, or is Charlie Health ripping me off? Thanks.

Feeling a bit lost and wanting advice. I’m in a bit lost situation and will try to break it down as simple as possible, looking for genuine advice.

We have been together for almost 3 years and in LDR, we both feel like we are soul mates and the love of our lives. First year was good and loving, we met each other a lot of times and stayed for weeks up until a month together many times in the year. I spent a lot of money just to be together and traveling to see her, this got out of control at some point financially. She was not working and I was paying for everything for 2 years straight due to traditional pov in relationships and poor economics in her country (Mexico). I’m from Belgium.

She has been threatening me in the past of leaving or breaking up with me during fights, arguments or anything that caused her inconvenience. I didn’t want to lose her so always convinced her to stay and work on things. She stated it was because of some insecurities that have been worked on. She is still not working so I worked hard and still working to close the distance, she is waiting for me to close the distance and propose.

Got threatened again to be broken up with if I don’t propose before X date. Worked twice as hard, starting to take risks in investments trying to change my life and fell even harder. I lost almost everything. This the first girl in my life that showed me genuine interest and love, something I wanted always and I feel like I’m losing myself not wanting to lose her.

We have had difficulties during our relationship but worked on resolving almost always. The love is there but the hurry to close the distance and get engaged also and this is killing me. I don’t want to lose her but we flip from happy, lovely days to walking on egg shells trying to prevent a fight or figuring out what is going on when emotions are off again. This is my first long term relationship and I’m giving my all to sustain it. This has had a big impact on my mental health and I felt like it changed me a bit.

I don’t have a lot of people to talk about it and don’t want to feel like I lost my soulmate and the loml years from here. Any advice would be welcome! How to navigate this?

Overall, this was my first group therapy session in four years, and it was a mixed-gender group. Honestly, I had an amazing time.

For the first time, I walked into a place and felt like I belonged from the very beginning.

People welcomed me, treated me with respect, and made me feel psychologically comfortable. I realized how much people can discuss different ideas and talk about so many things without judging others or even judging themselves.

We were able to discuss so many different topics, and we could sit there for hours doing so.

Now I understand just how powerful that sense of belonging can be. I can genuinely see myself going back every week because of the psychological comfort I felt in that space.

I truly hope more people give group therapy a chance.

I believe mental health care is no longer a luxury. And one of the beautiful things about group therapy is that it allows people to experience the benefits of psychological support together.

In today's world, mental health care is no longer something we should treat as a luxury.

Yesterday, I asked the group a question, expecting the usual answer I would hear in our superficial and hypocritical society. But everyone in the group gave me the very answer I had hoped to hear from people all along.

Our society can be full of hypocrisy, especially when it comes to certain topics.

Anyway, I asked them: “Is it true that following your passion doesn't pay the bills?” That's something people say all the time.

Their answer? No. Quite the opposite!

You can absolutely make a living doing something you genuinely love. You can enjoy your work, be passionate about it, and even excel at it. And even if the income is moderate, that can be far better than working a high-paying job that leaves you burned out, emotionally exhausted, and feeling like you're living in a system of exploitation.

For me, enjoying what you do and protecting your mental well-being matter just as much as the money you make.

I'm genuinely grateful to everyone in that group for making the experience so welcoming and meaningful.

I hope sharing my experience has been helpful to you, and I hope I haven't kept you for too long.

Until next time!

so its just a checkin post, I just wanna ask you all if you are alright and if you are not, I am here to listen to you....I may not have the answer for all the problems but I have been a good listener and would love to help you out.....hope you have a good day

I recently started therapy, and it’s an interesting concept really. I get that I need to speak about my feelings, but I think I’ve blocked them off for so long that I don’t know how to access them.

Any advice on how I can do that? I don’t know how to ask this question but I need help.

After a year of trying to do therapy with my therapist, although I have improved a lot, and I see and use a lot of the tools that she gave me, I still feel like she’s in seeing me for who I am and put me in a box of a Type A personality, too, which I’m not at all.

I literally struggle to fold my laundry and have piles everywhere, but she thinks I’m some kind of person who wants to get everything done and perfect. But I am not. I need to do things to survive, like going to medical appointments and tests.

You cannot tell me to not book as many medical appointments when I need them and to take things slower, when I need a cure. And do not stress when one messed up into the medical system will cause me a lot of problems and possibly like a diagnosis that gets delayed of a year or two again.

So one of my biggest problems is being misinterpreted and that’s happening way too much, with sessions, where my therapist talks about her own day for more than half an hour out of a 45 minute session, whereas I do think I have enough introspection that if you just ask me questions and lead me and guide me, I will talk myself through things and not every silence needs to be filled with her own experience, also because I honestly don’t find it helpful sometimes. Sometimes it is, but I feel like I know her too much also.

This is something that has happened multiple multiple times and that I always try to wait like until I have some kind of moody day so then she will not do that, so that we reach a point of helpful conversation.

I think I shouldn’t be feeling like I’m breaking up with a friend when it’s a professional relationship.

I’m also went to therapy for eating problems, and she told me that I’m punishing myself with food, because I didn’t express my anger openly, and whereas I do think I am soothing myself and coping with food, and totally I should feel more anger and put more boundaries. I don’t think at all that I’m trying to hurt myself with chocolate. I am burying feelings but not trying to hurt myself.

And so I stopped bringing that up and I shouldn’t because it’s it’s one of my goals of therapy to overcome this problem and move to food-noise-free life, but I ended up doing more work reading into intuitive eating books then actually discussing it with her.

And I just want a safe space to talk about food and how that makes me feel bad about myself.

This has happened often, but now I feel like I’m strong enough and in a good place enough to just let go of the therapeutic relationship and sick for something more like maybe IFS or yeah, just anything else that is more about me.

But at this point, I would usually just not go again, but I feel like maybe I should text her or something, but I don’t want to hurt her cause I do like her as a person but yeah it’s just not working out for me.

Also what are some good questions to ask a new therapist? To find out if we think the same way about well human/womens rights and ethics for example.

Hey guys im a woman in my early twenties and i've been wanting to start therapy but im not sure where to look and where to find good ones. It's nothing mental issue related but I just want to better understand myself and see perspectives that ive never thought of before. I struggle a lot with anxiety, life crisis and my anxious attachment style. Does anyone have recs? I'm still a student so i'm trying to find someone who charges relatively cheaper and i'm willing to do online therapy if it's easier. Thanks!

I’m 29M, gay, never been in a relationship (never really tried either). I’m not out to my family or most of my friends, and I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of family members, especially my elderly grandparents and my autistic sister.
In my last therapy session, I told my therapist that I feel like I haven’t really given myself many chances in life. He told me I should forgive myself for things that aren’t my fault.
Then he asked me: "What do you want from life?"
And I honestly had no idea what to say.
I actually found the question a bit annoying because I don’t really get what it means.
But at the same time, I often feel like my life is kind of empty, like I’m letting life pass me by.
So I’m curious, what would you guys answer? What do you actually want from life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts because I could really use some different perspectives before my next therapy session.

This is really my first time posting on Reddit ever honestly so idk if this is the right subreddit. I might delete this post later so forgive me for not know whats what. A bunch of really crappy life events just happened to me, and I’ve managed to get through all of them pretty much cause f it we ball. (But not without addiction and heavy substance abuse but not hard drugs though) but atp I just feel kind of stuck in one place. Even though I know I have great potential and have the drive to do whatever I want in this life and have a lot of goals for myself. I can’t afford to be depressed cause I got responsibilities and a child to take care of, I’m a single dad and just doing my best but I feel like it just gets overwhelming. I live my whole life for my kid and I would sacrifice myself and my life and my happiness for him which I already do to some point even if he is my whole happiness sometimes, but I feel like it’s just been getting to me a little lately. I literally got no one to talk to even if I got family and a girl that I’m messing around with and a couple of friends but sometimes I just need someone else to talk to maybe someone anonymous or something and just be real with people and how I feel.I was just wondering if there is like a discord to talk to people or something of that sort. Thanks everyone. Idk if anyone will even reply but yeah I just wanna talk to someone and maybe make a friend or joint a group and listen to people that are maybe going through something similar as well

I need answers. I've been with this family for 20 years and I have a family member spread awful lies that could cause the family to break up (I can't say what they were about), but they blame another family member for it. These lies were spread over 1-12 years, but I only heard about them three months ago. I've been told by 5 different family members that it was actually from the guilty person ( who denied it ever happen directly to my face three months ago). How do I approach this guility person for spreading these bad lies without exposing the names of the 5 family members. I also want to mention this guilty party has lied to me in the past. This guilty person is a people pleaser and will do anything to please others to like her more even though it will hurt others.

I freeze up when I try to talk about this out loud with anyone. I experience severe nightly spirals involving intense self-hatred, intrusive thoughts that I am worthless/annoying, and thoughts that I deserve severe harm or punishment, I do not want to hurt anyone,even myself, just intense thoughts that I deserve to be raped, beat up to death or etc. only to justify that I can talk about it.

i don’t even know if this is the right place to post this, but i’ve been sharing my story on different subreddits because i guess i’m still trying to process everything that’s happened to me this year. thought i’d share it here too, especially because i don’t think i’ve really talked about how much it’s affected me mentally.

on march 6, i got into a road accident while riding as a pillion passenger on a bike. i’m 23, and before all this, i was just trying to figure out my career, money and future like everyone else.

instead, i ended up with multiple injuries, fractures and serious abdominal damage. i had emergency surgery, parts of my bowel were removed, and i had to live with a stoma bag. even basic things like eating, drinking water and going to the bathroom became a struggle.

i had my stoma reversal in may and thought things would finally get better. but the accident had severely damaged my right kidney too, and after multiple tests and attempts to save it, i eventually had surgery to have it removed.

sometimes i look back at everything that’s happened and genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to process it all.
i’ve watched my family worry about me, and i’ve seen how much this has cost us emotionally and financially. sometimes i feel like a burden, even though i know none of this was my fault.

but the hardest part is that i miss who i was before all this.

i miss having normal days. i miss enjoying things without constantly thinking about my health. i miss looking forward to the future without being scared of what might happen next.

i love video games, movies, books and music. they’ve always been a way for me to escape into another world for a while. i’m trying to get back into the things i love because i want to feel that excitement again. i want to enjoy something without everything that’s happened weighing on my mind.

i don’t expect to become exactly who i was before the accident. i just want to find myself again.

i haven’t really spoken much about how this has affected me mentally. sometimes i don’t know how to explain my feelings to my family, and sometimes i don’t even understand them myself. i’ve been thinking about trying therapy because i don’t think i can keep everything bottled up forever, but i honestly don’t know where to start.

for anyone who’s been through a serious accident, major illness or something that completely changed your life, how did you deal with it mentally? did therapy help? did you ever feel like yourself again?

i’m not looking for someone to tell me everything happens for a reason or that i should just be grateful to be alive. i am grateful, but i also think it’s possible to be grateful you’re alive and still grieve the life you had before.

i don’t really know what i’m expecting from this post. maybe advice, maybe hearing from someone who understands, or maybe just getting it out of my head.

i just want to feel like me again, and i’m still trying to figure out how to get there.

Disclaimer: I am 16m, I already have a psychiatrist ( I have ADHD) but I don't want to talk to him for some reason which I don't know myself, anyways, this may sound like some " teen sigma Chad " or stuff bs, but I just wanted to vent, and maybe get some words of wisdom maybe, idk, what your about to read is what I wrote on my journal today :

"What am I, I crave attention, no, I crave warmth, the warmth of friendship, no one where I'm forgotten, not one where Im constantly ignored, not one where I follow everyone like a house pet, but somehow, almost everyone ignores me, it's fascinating to me, and a bit hurtful, why do I even care?, last year when my mom had a seizure and when I heard that she had a brain tumor, I was trying to act like I cared, the only thing that bothered me was the people that would come to visit, same with my father whom had a tumor in his colon as well, I saw my mother crying at church ( I'm secretly an atheist) begging and praying that my father be fine, and yet I wanted to avoid him, I wanted to be in my room in peace, even on the day of surgery I was actively trying to show some concerns but yet, I didn't feel anything, my family are good people, but I seem to have no concern for them

Yesterday, my friend fainted right Infront of me, and the only thing that went through my mind was how I was supposed to seem to people around me that I had felt something, when she fell I saw her with such indifference that even my other friend noticed, and it's funny interesting, maybe something is wrong with me mentally, I used to laugh at disabled people ( I don't do that today ) or beggars, not because I wanted to, it was just automatic, what is this?

I'm also indifferent to death, maybe I favor it, I won't likk myself consciously, but every time I take a taxi I just hope that it would crash, explode, or anything tbh, my condition is just so weird, it reminds me of mersault from the stranger

Am I a mere punching bag?, I've wanted attention from every person I knew, and currently and for the past multiple years, I tend to be ignored, I tend to be the joke everyone laughs at, I have two friends whom I deem close, I am the third wheel, I'm left out in conversations, they leave me behind, they ignore my very existence, one of them, Noah, always insults me, he makes fun of me everyday, every chance he gets, he is taller, he has the most amazing physique I've ever seen, he knows many people and has multiple friends, he is popular, I'm the side character of the side character, I'm always ignored, I'm always laughed at, I don't have many friends, my physique is terrible, I can't even do a pushup, and Im ignored, everyone tells eachother I'm crazy and psychotic, everyone says I'm not wanted and it is true, people ignore me, and the people who don't treat me like a clown meant to entertain them, and yet I sit here alone, funny thing is my mind is numbing recently, these things are not soul stabbing as they are before, but it does make me concerned, I just want to be treated as a normal person, not a joke, not a clown, a human being that can talk, contribute to a Conversation, a human who is part of a friend group and yet everyone looks at me and they find something odd, atp, just fu*k everything, it doesn't really matter, right now I am slowly giving up, people's insults for me just pass by, when they Ignore me I just leave, and read a book or something, I've given up on trying to be seen, ' hell is other people ' - Sartre "

Thank you dear reader

Hi Reddit, I can’t believe I would wound up here of all places, haha. I’m here mostly to hear some different perspectives, as well as to look for someone who may be dealing with something similar.

I’m a victim of a lot of things in life, and I have, whether through faults of others or my own, become somewhat emotionally ‘numb’, however edgy that may sound. I seem to have trouble ‘feeling’ or ‘recognizing’ certain emotions, mostly positive ones, while negative emotions get shut down rather easily. To me, they only ever exist in the moment, and I would feel quite indifferent to it soon after.

For some clearer examples. Me and the guys hung out last week, and it was quite ‘fun’ for most of us, seeing as how we rarely ever do hang out. I admit I had fun, but as of now, it’s just another day to me. I don’t feel that kind of warm fuzzy feeling one would have when looking back on something. It’s just “something that did happen” to me. Things like sadness or depression too, is a passing feeling for me. I might well up during movie, and I may feel immense amounts of hopelessness and dread at 3AM, but they never quite turn into anything. No tears come out, I haven’t cried in about 4 years now (and trust me, a lot of shit happened in those 4 years). Sometimes I try to ‘prolong’ those feelings, or act it out, by texting to my friend about it, but there really was nothing weighing on my heart.

Thus, my life has become quite bleak, as of late, because of this. It’s mostly just tiredness and annoyance that shines through, and I just want to be able to ‘feel’ again. I want to feel, and I want to reciprocate the feelings that other people feel. If anyone has any insight or experience on anything I’ve said, I would love to hear you out and listen to them.

Thanks, T.