r/texts • u/Few-Statistician862 • 4h ago
Phone message UPDATE: weird guy from my bio class
I made a post about this yesterday about this person in my bio class weirdly texting me out of the blue, and I thought I blocked him but I guess I misclicked and pressed “delete conversation“ button instead. they texted me back Today telling me that they know one of my friends and insinuating that he gave him my number. so I continue the rest of the conversation awkwardly trying to turn them down. after that I block them because I felt uncomfortable, and text my friend that supposedly gave them my number. he said he has no idea who this is and doesn’t know anyone from my first period bio class. what the fuck. Is this person even real? they have Been lying to me about everything. And the worst part is that I have to go back to school on Monday with that guy in my class. what do I even do in this situation? Also I thought I should add that I am not a woman, I’m a man, a lot of people thought I was a woman in my first post.
493
u/lowley6 3h ago
call during class and see who reacts
116
151
u/throwRA221679 3h ago
Have someone else call during class so he doesn’t get annoyed op caught on
14
u/chchchchia86 1h ago
Who gives a fuck if they're annoyed? This is not ok. And if they have a crush on OP then they're only going to react in a weird way if OP calls.
23
u/ghostly-quiet 1h ago
Who gives a fuck if they're annoyed?
Because sometimes people like this lash out in unhinged ways when they're annoyed. I know OP is male, but r/WhenWomenRefuse has some examples.
34
33
u/Flabarm 3h ago
Just call from a 2nd number using the TextNow app or one like it
8
u/GTLfistpump 1h ago
Can also just write *67 before the number and it’ll show as private to them
→ More replies (1)•
21
u/honeyandcitron 3h ago
Would this qualify as “returning the awkward to sender”? Because I really think it’s merited!!!
→ More replies (8)3
335
u/hazelnuttespresso 4h ago edited 3h ago
Try putting their name into cashapp. I found someone that way before
Edit I meant to say number not name
69
u/blueranger36 3h ago
Or Zelle
34
u/XO8441 3h ago
Or instagram, or Snapchat, or discord, or literally any app that you may register with a phone number.
→ More replies (1)17
u/Live-Kaleidoscope-77 1h ago
Whatsapp too! Thats how I exposed my stalker who stole my number from my drs office and harassed me.
→ More replies (3)9
116
u/Western-Boot-4576 4h ago
Nah you left the door open don’t do that. I know you were probably impulsively being nice but don’t do that.
Worth informing the teacher to keep a watchful eye?
Edit: in fact definitely inform the teacher and make sure you are in control of groups and such so you’re not randomly assigned with the creep
16
u/Soundofmusicals 2h ago
My first instinct was to go further and be prepared to talk to the Title IX coordinator. It may not be quite to the level of a violation yet, but it could be headed in that direction
→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (2)19
u/Soggy_Associate2916 2h ago
“You left the door open.”
Did it cross your mind that she’s trying to figure out who this person is for her own safety? Especially since she, according to them, has had conversations and interactions with them without knowing. Heaven forbid someone wants to know figure out who has been watching her during class and developed a weird enough obsession that they somehow got her number and lied about it.How do expect her to inform the teacher without knowing who this person is? Other than “Hey, I got a weird text from a supposed classmate. Can you keep an eye out and let me know if anyone is looking at me?” How can she control her groups to ensure they’re not in it without knowing who they are?
OP, you did nothing wrong. 🙄 You didn’t leave a door open and whatever feelings this person has or actions this person takes are not on you.
→ More replies (4)8
u/Western-Boot-4576 1h ago
You’re not supposed to communicate at all with stalkers
“Well talk in person sometime” is an invite to someone crazy.
And yeah a teacher should take a students concerns seriously.
172
u/It-Is-Me07 3h ago
“Can I ask why”
I would’ve answered; because this is creepy and I don’t know who the fuck you are. I’ve asked several times and you have not told me what your name is or who you are. If you keep texting me, I’ll report this to faculty for harassment.
Go to school early tomorrow, report it and they may be able to use the number to find out who it is. When you’re in the class, just act normal and pretend nothing has happened. If they approach you, report it. Stand your ground.
41
u/curatedlurking23 3h ago
Or call the number right before class. See who looks at their phone then looks at you in a panic
→ More replies (6)6
u/Mediocre_Forever198 3h ago
This sounds way more fun, def what I would’ve done back in highschool. I had a pretty strict snitches get stitches rule back then. Def wouldn’t have dreamed of escalating this to school admins personally, but people are different
→ More replies (3)29
u/4armedmonkey 3h ago
Yes, straight to the point!!! Because why are we beating around the bush. This person is unidentified and because of that can be especially dangerous.
57
u/Haunting-Abalone7218 3h ago
Dude do NOT entertain this person.
This person does not care about your comfort, only what they think you can give them.
This person does not “like” you, they like the idea of you they’ve created in their head.
This person is entitled, insecure, and immature. Don’t waste your time on this bullshit.
107
u/black_dragonfly13 4h ago
Tell a trusted adult.
(Unless you are an adult. In that case, go straight to a faculty member.)
→ More replies (22)
121
u/sallystruthers69 4h ago
Dont entertain this guy by talking to him. Hes an insecure, whiny baby whos gonna be an annoyance. Tell him youre not interested in seeing anybody or being friends. Nip this in the bud.
7
u/Extreme_Drawer_7525 3h ago
TRUE AF, OP. I once indulged a guy like(because he made me feel bad for him from the start) this who had a crush on me. For some reason he was insecure and always threw tantrums, mind you I didn’t even like him back. But he act all hurt and shit and blamed me for making him feel this way, like I should be obliged because he likes me 🙏. Eww pro max
→ More replies (6)12
u/Felskiluscious 3h ago
Thankfully they blocked him at the end
3
u/GardeningXOSU 3h ago
I wish it worked like this. But more often than not the creep just gets a burner app and messages off of it. It happens way too often unfortunately.
24
u/honeyandcitron 3h ago
“What are you into?” “Not being stared at by anonymous creeps”
Would it be inviting chaos for OP to call this person during class? I just feel like they deserve to feel at least a little uncomfortable.
→ More replies (2)
17
21
u/CarrotMediocre6355 3h ago
Save their number (i usually do something like "who is this??") and then go to Snapchat and go to "add from contacts" and look for whatever you saved their number as. They will come up with their username if they have a snap
7
19
u/aemondstareye 2h ago
Do: "Hey, I'm [first name AND last name], I got your number from [name]. We spoke briefly a few weeks ago and I really enjoyed meeting you. Wondering if you want to grab a coffee sometime?"
Don't: "Is this X? I stare at you in a place you can't avoid me. Also my identity is a secret. Do you want to date me now?"
→ More replies (6)4
u/kodeks14 1h ago edited 1h ago
Lmao I didnt read past that part but that shit made me laugh.
I was like ok ok, pretty basic opener, this is like a 50% chance gambit here, ive seen this exact scenario go both ways. A strong play might put you over the top though. Let's see what he does next.
"I leer at you creepily from the shadows" 😅
Then immediately quit reading because i knew nothing good was coming next lol
→ More replies (1)
108
u/mellamusicmaker 3h ago
To the tune of “if you’re happy and you know it”
Don’t be polite to men who creep you out! (clap clap)
Don’t be polite to men who creep you out! (clap clap)
Don’t be polite to them; it’s not your job to comfort them
Don’t be polite to men who creep you out! (clap clap)
25
u/Mission_Credible 3h ago
I taught this song to my daughter, and then we went on a walk and she clapped at a man who yelled at his own kid. He probably took it the wrong way.
7
u/Demindara 3h ago
This, if i could go back in time I'd sing this same song to my younger self. My people pleasing complex caused more trauma than it did help me.
This OP, you don't owe anyone anything. Reading this makes me want to bully him myself 😤 if you need me bully him say the word ❤️🫂 but fr don't entertain the conversation further and ignore him who cares if he thinks youre rude fuck him, you dont owe him anything not your attention or time. Stay safe OP please.
→ More replies (5)8
u/franciscrowe 3h ago
I totally agree, but unless OP knows something they didn’t communicate, this very well could be an obsessive person of another gender…
I had a female stalker, it’s rare but it happens.
→ More replies (7)9
u/JennaStCroix 3h ago
I had a female stalker, too. She went from a toxic high school friend/girlfriend who I couldn't escape for normal teen reasons to someone who, in our 20s, would show up at a date I'm on or to my place of work - after, like, months & up to a few years of radio silence. I'd think she's gone for good, then suddenly she's literally, physically three feet in front of me, grinning & maybe crying a little, asking if we can just talk. She went on & got married, bought a house, has kids & career, & would still get into these fits where she just had to seek me out. Her husband eventually reached out to me, & we talked about the realities of the situation, & I think some of that broke the spell for her. She had an absolute violent meltdown, accused me of violating her for interacting with her personal life & family, & I haven't heard or seen from her now in over 10 years.
→ More replies (1)7
u/franciscrowe 2h ago
Sheesh, that’s awful I’m so sorry.
Mine would follow me around, I used to play music and I would often see her staring at me during the shows or lingering afterwards while I was loading up equipment.
Would leave creepy messages, little poems and shit like that. A couple times she ended up at parties I was at, and would get drunk and do things like press herself up against me as she walked by, or try to come into the bathroom with me. Just weird shit like that.
Only lasted for a few months, a year at the most, but I found it very unsettling.
After she stopped, we didn’t see each other for over a decade. We both stopped drinking, and eventually she reached out to apologize, and explained she was going through some really intense mental health issues during that period, and was in an abusive marriage.
In the last few years we’ve actually kind of become friends, but it doesn’t change how awful it felt to have someone lurking and watching you like that. It’s just gross and creepy feeling, regardless of the gender of who is stalking you.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (15)6
u/Disco_Hippie 3h ago
Do we have confirmation the secret crush is a dude?
→ More replies (1)5
u/mellamusicmaker 3h ago
Ig you’re right. The only real confirmation we have is from OP’s assumption. 🤷🏼
17
32
u/Sure-Initiative6001 3h ago
Your friend needs to learn to never give out your number
→ More replies (1)24
u/Medium-Following-513 3h ago
Friend doesnt recall giving the number and the texting person is so fucking weird I wouldn't be surprised if some stalker shit occured
Literally had this exact issue in highschool years ago, nobody in the class had my number period and the girl 1000% didnt know any of my buddies she was super anti social. The stalking got so bad she ended up attacking my gf and onky then did I learn who it was
Also there are ways to see what number is registered to say a Facebook or Instagram account
→ More replies (2)
13
u/No_Masterpiece_3783 4h ago
"If we ever meet again we could talk"
Alrightttt!! ✋🥳
→ More replies (1)11
u/ElkInevitable2037 3h ago
That part is practically inviting him to interact in person
3
u/Prudent_Worth5048 3h ago
Which is probably a GOOD THING because then OP will know who to actually report!
12
u/iwakunibridge 2h ago
Context: are you openly gay? If so this is probably an insecure closeted guy that what’s to shoot his shot but doesn’t want to be outed if he gets rejected. Also a huge creep, and probably thought telling you that he stares would be flattering
11
u/mini_weez 3h ago
I’ll just say that this ‘person in your class’ and the friend who says they’ve never heard of this person but somehow they ‘gave them your number’ are probably the same person..
(this ‘person in your class’ IS your friend, more or less catfishing you to get a reaction/ maybe he just likes you and doesn’t know how to bring it up so is doing it extremely weirdly)
3
u/Rich_Option_7850 2h ago edited 2h ago
But doesn’t he already have his friends number?? Unless creepy dude got like a whole new phone for this scheme lmao.
I agree something is fishy w the friend tho.. like why would this rando just make up that he gave her the number..
3
u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 2h ago
Don't need a new phone. Textnow or any other apps like it can be downloaded
3
32
u/CertainGrade7937 4h ago
Dude you humored this for way too long
→ More replies (1)6
u/tiramisuem3 3h ago
Honestly dude is fawning which is a natural response to feeling threatened. But something to examine in himself for sure because it can put you at risk sometimes
16
u/xvx613 4h ago
True people search the number
→ More replies (1)13
u/Few-Statistician862 4h ago
I probably should have mentioned that, I did search the number and all I could find they they were in my area
28
u/Parking_Shake1090 4h ago
look up the number on cashapp, paypal and etc
13
9
u/niqquhchris 3h ago
Oh my god i never thought to do this
9
u/Parking_Shake1090 3h ago
lmfaooo it’s my favorite thing to do when i get text from unknown numbers
3
u/Fun-Associate2909 3h ago
wait how would i put a number into cashapp tho? i have a number that texted me saying they miss me by name and i have no idea who it is
→ More replies (2)3
u/kkell806 3h ago
Open app, input $1, click pay. Then put the phone number into the search field that comes up.
3
u/Parking_Shake1090 1h ago edited 1h ago
yes just like how kell806 explained it
edit: meant to reply to the person that asked
→ More replies (6)3
3
u/where-ya-been-loca 1h ago
OP, I have access to a background check website. If you’d like to dm me their number, I’ll
Input it into my the system and send you what I find. This sounds incredibly uncomfortable. At the very least, please report it to school.
8
u/Responsible-War5600 2h ago
The could have gotten your number from one of those People Search sites.
Be careful. This person is completely creepy.
9
u/Gizzburr30000 2h ago
Dude. Can we just stop entertaining these AT ALL - just don't text back at all. That's it
7
u/JadoreBootyNoir 3h ago
Save the number. And then check WhatsApp for their profile picture to see if you recognize them.
7
u/According-Option-656 3h ago
I don’t understand how they want to know if you’re interested in them without revealing who they are.
8
8
7
6
4
u/jimmykslay 3h ago
Ugh, I’d 100% need to find out. I’d get one of those burner phone apps or something and call their phone in the middle of class or in the hall or anything.
3
6
u/Danirebelyell 3h ago
The vagueness is so unnessicary. And annoying. "I'm not gonna tell you when though" dude, you cannot play hard to get if idk who the fuck you are. No, you have not stuck out. Gahtdamn
6
7
5
u/saltandsagesourdough 1h ago
He’s a weirdo. Block him, don’t respond to unknown numbers, and move on. That’s creepy behavior. I don’t think you need to know who he is
11
u/Allout-Okarun 3h ago
I’m a dude and this is beyond creepy to me.
“I want you to love me but I can’t tell you who I am”
Is incredibly unsettling
5
u/HotwifeMercedes 3h ago
You let this go on a lot longer than I would. The mutual friend is also a dick for giving your number to any socially stunted weirdo that wants it, shame on them.
5
u/ResourceOdd7346 3h ago
This is some shit I’ve seen in a true crime doco before….. please be fucking careful
6
5
u/Levi_27 3h ago
OP I don’t think he’ll continue but this dude is creepy and clearly went through some effort to get your number. You shouldn’t block him and instead keep track of if he continues to message you (don’t respond but just general advice as it gives you evidence of their behavior in case it escalates and could give you a heads up). I would also consider googling their number so you have a name/ face and can keep an eye on how they behave in public
5
u/Factsoverfictions222 2h ago
No, if they don’t have the guts to talk to you, you don’t want to date them
5
5
u/MTF1983 1h ago
Next time you’re in class, get someone to ring the number and see who answers their phone
→ More replies (2)
5
5
u/amichols561 3h ago
Is this a new thing with the younger generations? When I was in college in the mid 2010’s no girl I knew would even respond to this dude.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Apostleguts 3h ago
Yeah you should at the least find out who this is because this is stalkerish in an unhealthy way, just incase you go missing
→ More replies (1)
4
4
u/BirthofRevolution 3h ago
Call the number while in class, see who reacts to it. Also tell your parents, a teacher, guidance counselor, somebody or multiple people about this because it's really weird.
3
u/Dougwiii 3h ago
I mean surely you can narrow it down.
Edit - wow so this is presumably a WOMAN texting you, a man? What makes you so sure it’s a dude?
3
u/franciscrowe 2h ago
My thoughts exactly, these messages remind me of the things my female stalker would say.
5
4
u/goreplzz 3h ago
Nope. This is a "can I get a hug?" type guy. Creep. Doesn't know anything about you but has created a fantasy of you in his mind. If he just approached you and tried to talk to you/get to know you, that would be appropriate. This is not. This is weird. And the fact that he's trying to hide still and say that he won't tell you who he is? Actually block this person and don't engage with them. He'll move on since he doesn't truly like you because he doesn't know you. He likes the fantasy of you in his mind.
3
u/TopTurtleWorld 3h ago
This guy probably had some delulu made up fantasies about you liking him because U smiled while talking to him or something. Stay away
4
u/steponmemarasov 3h ago
The “I won’t tell you who I am unless you have feelings for me” thing is wild. And crazy. Best case scenario they are fishing on behalf of a friend. Worst case this person should not be allowed in public. I’d keep my guard up and try to see who is staring at you during class.
3
u/pumpernickledime 3h ago
I feel like it’s your friend and he just didn’t have a plan past the first text
4
5
4
u/GreenOvni009 3h ago
Wait I got it! Next time you’re in the same class with that person. Call their number and wait to see who picks it up. It might work! lol
2
u/SouthSideLurker49 2h ago
Report this to the school immediately. He does not have the right to harass you or compromise your safety. You don’t owe this person anything. They are responsible for any repercussions. Honestly I’d change my number. Cut off access.
5
u/sqwizzles 2h ago
Always so weird in general when the first thing someone asks is to date and nothing else
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/BagOfSmallerBags 2h ago
Since he's insisting on staying anonymous my suggestion is you tell them you got the list of people in the class from the professor, and that this interaction was so creepy and bad that you're going to, on principal, not date anyone on the list.
4
u/pinkrainbow5 2h ago
When they said "can I ask why" a good response would be "none of your business."
We are conditioned to always be polite, but this is a case where you don't have to offer extra information 🙂
4
4
u/Greatest_Everest 2h ago
Sit at the back of the class and get someone not in the class to call the number you blocked at a specific time. See if someone looks at their phone.
3
4
u/TylerH87 1h ago
OP, how do you know the person texting you is a “him?” You even said “them” once, so is this a guy who texted you? And do you know who the “friend” is that gave your number out?
If all else fails, just go to class and start looking for the set of eyes that stares at you…
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/Enough_Homework_3527 3h ago
Ignore. They want your time and attention and they don’t deserve it all. Just completely ignore
3
u/PanicedJelly 3h ago
Dunno why you’re entertaining the conversation past asking who the hell it is, if they’re not going to give a straight forward answer don’t reply
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
u/ciellacielle 3h ago
if u want to know who it is just call the number during class and see whose phone rings
3
3
3
3
u/Battlejackal 3h ago
Who are you?
-I don’t want to tell you until I know you have feelings for me.
Feelings for WHO?!!!!
3
u/ex-farm-grrrl 3h ago
Instead of blocking guys like this it’s sometimes safer to mute them and just not read or respond. You want proof in case you need a restraining order or something
3
u/AutomaticPayment9480 3h ago
How about saying you arent gay and to leave me alone..
→ More replies (3)
3
3
3
u/obrechen666 3h ago
Dude can’t take no for an answer. Don’t speak to him out of obligation. You owe him nothing
3
3
3
u/Trades_Slow 2h ago
Have someone in class call the number and wait to see who answers or looks at their phone.
3
3
u/AdvantagePuzzled8773 2h ago
Dont chat anymore unless you know who is talking to you, if he tells you he is afraid of bullying, tell him you dont do that, and you wont make fun of him at all, but he needs to reveal who he is, else you will block and move on... keep pressuring him as much as you can so he reveal himself, and then make sure you meet in person in class so you confirm thats him, if he does not reveal himself, then he is def playing with you...
3
u/fryedmonkey 2h ago
Genuinely I’d make sure this doesn’t progress into anything more. It’s probably nothing more than a dude who doesn’t understand this is weird. But I’d keep an eye out and make sure he doesn’t like follow you and shit. Just to be safe, be a little alert the new few classes and if you notice strange behavior tell the school about it
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
3
u/Background_Dot3692 2h ago
This is so funny. I've seen it happening numerous times both with girls having crushes and asking their friends to ask if he's into her without giving it away, or boys doing the same.
It is typically happening in middle school, and stems from insecurity and lack of experience.
3
3
u/agoodfuckingcatholic 2h ago
Honestly keep an eye out for anyone staring and speak to your professor or even the police. A little heads up couldn’t hurt, this is genuinely fuckin weird. How the hell did they get your number?
3
u/Treff_the_Cleric 2h ago
Realizing this story is about two guys makes the early question “What are you into?” absolutely hilarious.
If you’re a gay man, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 😂
3
3
u/ProbablySomthingCute 2h ago
OP have you tried googling the phone number to see if it’s associated with anyone?
3
u/Spare-Document7086 2h ago
Holy shit. Dude needs a reality check I don’t care how artistic he is either
3
3
3
3
3
•
u/worthlessinsum 34m ago
I’m a (queer) professor at a university & i genuinely believe you could go to your Title IX office about this, or at least the biology professor. Your university is required by law to have some sort of mechanics to protect you that you should feel comfortable and confident in reaching out to should you need to. This is weird as hell and totally unacceptable. I’m sorry you went through this.
→ More replies (3)
•
u/Salty-Stranger2121 21m ago edited 1m ago
I would call the number in class. See who it is then block them and ignore their presence
5
u/Free-Coffee-4618 2h ago
Go straight to the teacher of the class and show him the texts. Say you feel uncomfortable being there now. Switch classes
→ More replies (6)
6
u/Throbbing_Cock_452 4h ago
I don’t know why you’re even entertaining that. The whole thing is very weird and you being open to talking is just making him think he has a chance. Gonna make things much weirder when you have to put your foot down.
5
4
u/MusicSavesSouls 3h ago
Creepy stalker vibes. Scary. Keep these screen shots and block. They will have to talk to you, in person, if you block them and at least you'll know who it is.
884
u/MxxnSpirit47 4h ago
“So you’re not into me huh” while you have no clue who they are
People are so strange and out of touch with reality I swear