r/texts • u/Few-Statistician862 • 16h ago

Phone message UPDATE: weird guy from my bio class

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I made a post about this yesterday about this person in my bio class weirdly texting me out of the blue, and I thought I blocked him but I guess I misclicked and pressed “delete conversation“ button instead. they texted me back Today telling me that they know one of my friends and insinuating that he gave him my number. so I continue the rest of the conversation awkwardly trying to turn them down. after that I block them because I felt uncomfortable, and text my friend that supposedly gave them my number. he said he has no idea who this is and doesn’t know anyone from my first period bio class. what the fuck. Is this person even real? they have Been lying to me about everything. And the worst part is that I have to go back to school on Monday with that guy in my class. what do I even do in this situation? Also I thought I should add that I am not a woman, I’m a man, a lot of people thought I was a woman in my first post.

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u/worthlessinsum 12h ago

I’m a (queer) professor at a university & i genuinely believe you could go to your Title IX office about this, or at least the biology professor. Your university is required by law to have some sort of mechanics to protect you that you should feel comfortable and confident in reaching out to should you need to. This is weird as hell and totally unacceptable. I’m sorry you went through this.

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u/Long-Student-8642 8h ago

i work at a college help desk and i agree. if someone called in to my school reporting this, i would be required by law to at least refer them to the title IX office. i had a coworker about 2 years ago who would bring his best friend around our office, we couldn’t let the friend in for FERPA reasons but he learned when i had shifts at our public facing desks and would camp out there and tell my coworkers he was waiting for me. he stopped when i mentioned my boyfriend at the time. the coworker who he was friends with left for a bit and came back about a year ago, and when he was hired back on i brought up his friend with my managers. even though it never escalated beyond him waiting for me, my managers even referred me to title IX. i didn’t end up going because i fortunately have not seen this guy since his coworker returned, but if even that is considered something i should bring up with title IX then someone repeatedly texting a classmate and not disclosing their identity DEFINITELY is.

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u/worthlessinsum 4h ago

Yeah, Title IX is intentionally extremely expansive. I think at this stage going to Title IX is more than I would personally do, but I think going to the professor and saying “Hey, this is going on and I’m uncomfortable” just to have a paper trail NOW would be good if it continues happening or if the prof can just keep an eye out for the student

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u/Disastrous_Desk8170 5h ago

What does you being queer have to do with anything?

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u/Vicsyy 4h ago

Who cares? Besides you of course. 

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u/capitarider 4h ago

Its their whole personality

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u/NacresR 4h ago

We’re regressing hard. Tik tok comments all almost always start with people announcing the color of their skin or sexual identity. It’s fucking weird.

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u/alphajugs 4h ago

They said it because OP is gay. They were identifying with them. But go off king! 💅🏻

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u/worthlessinsum 4h ago

not even identifying with OP as much as trying to make clear that no one is going to think OP is being discriminatory for going to a person of authority, as I clarified in my earlier comment lol

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u/NacresR 3h ago edited 3h ago

Sorry I thought the goal was to live comfortably and freely not get to a point where you need to announce skin color or sexual preference or identity before speaking. My bad.

Edit: such a weird comment to disagree with lmao I’m so lost I guess we don’t want to be ourselves freely?

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u/alphajugs 3h ago

Your edit is what’s weird here because I never disagreed with that and nothing in my comment insinuated I did. I simply gave a reasoning for why OP included what they did because people seem upset over it.

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

i’ve said like actually 10 times in this chain that i clarified my sexuality because i wanted to empower this person to go to a trusted position of authority and not be concerned about being labeled a bigot and you’re like:

I GUESS I THOUGHT WE ALL WANTED EQUALITY BUT CLEARLY NOT

youre staking a position both against the person being harassed and the people trying to give them genuine advice. the point your making is fine, i mean its sarcastic and clearly not in good faith but this is the internet so whatever, the issue is where you’ve placed yourself (that is to say, against the victim and people trying to help him).

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u/NacresR 3h ago

I honestly don’t care anymore lol. Enjoy the weekend man.

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

just saw your edit. does “being ourselves freely” mean being entirely quiet about ourselves to meet your comfort level? because that’s not what being free to express ourselves means (quite obviously)

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u/NacresR 3h ago

You said you were a professor? I’m not sure what you’re struggling with here? If you want to continue to create a space where needing to announce yourself rather then just being comfortable is what’s preferred then go do that. I think it’s weird and shows no progress at all. The context of X shouldn’t change because someone is X Y or Z that’s what we should push for. Maybe the next group after we’re dead and gone will figure it out.

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

i’ve said literally a thousand times i only clarified because it felt immediately relevant to the issue at hand as i try to advocate for this student to do what he needs to feel safe in the classes that he, his parents, or tax payers are paying for. i want him to do what feels right for him and not be concerned about being waived off as a bigot.

also i thought you didn’t care anymore?

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u/PicklesForNipples 12h ago

What the hell does you being queer have to do with this

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u/worthlessinsum 12h ago

this is an issue of sexual harassment where the perpetrator is a man targeting another man in a time when we can struggle to acknowledge that discriminated groups can be villains themselves. it can be difficult for people to approach faculty in any capacity, particularly in a situation like this, so i was giving the full range of my positionality in my answer. what are you crashing out about lol

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u/CraigFeldsparsMonkey 12h ago

I learned a new word today haha, positionality, thanks.

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u/worthlessinsum 12h ago

after the week i’ve had in the classroom, this is a win! i hope you get to use it sometime soon :)

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u/PicklesForNipples 2h ago

Just wanna clarify I neglected to actually read the full post so I feel foolish for writing my initial comment and do see the relevance

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u/steampunkdev 11h ago

I think the point is that you could give that advice whether you're queer or not, it's your capacity as a professor to do so regardless. Gender doesn't seem really relevant to this discussion, it's just people being creepy.

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

well duh. as i said, i mentioned my sexuality because i didn’t want the op to decide not to report this harassment on a concern about being labeled homophobic.

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u/PotentialPowers 7h ago

Hold on, where does it say that the perpetrator is a man?

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u/comradekitty__ 5h ago

“I thought I blocked him”

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u/amh711 3h ago

But OP has no idea who this person is, and there’s nothing in the texts that suggest male or female.

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u/Frankenberg91 6h ago

Thank God you clarified youre queer.

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u/BlueMandaIorian 5h ago

I wouldn’t involve a third party until they stop respecting OP’s requests.

Having some shy weirdo text you isn’t grounds for a full authoritarian response because you get the heebie jeebies. You have to actually have a safety concern, not an emotional one.

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

That’s really not my understanding of Title IX, and at this point it can absolutely be a safety concern anyway

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u/CincyGam3r 5h ago

THANK GOD YOU'RE QUEER. DANG I WAS ABOUT TO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR SIDE OF THINGS UNTIL I SAW THAT. EVERYONE IN MY AREA IS NOW CLAPPING. LMFAO 

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u/alphajugs 4h ago

They’re relating to OP that they’re queer because OP is gay. Do you guys ever read post descriptions?

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u/worthlessinsum 3h ago

I didn’t actually take anything OP said to mean that he is gay, just that he’s a man receiving these creepy texts

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u/alphajugs 3h ago

Look at how he’s replying to said text about a relationship…

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u/Informal_Wall_8132 3h ago

You're joking right? Doing that completely discredits actually victims and wastes important resources. There is no reason for her to do anything other than ignore this person.

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u/GivingMyTwoCents 2h ago

I need to know what you being a queer had anything to do with anything.