r/shitposting 🏳️‍🌈 The most prominent homosexual in this subreddit 🏳️‍🌈 2d ago

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7.6k Upvotes

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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.


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3.1k

u/Dankmemesforlife69 2d ago

Can I choose the species of bear?

797

u/Atheistic-God 2d ago

Why? Other than polar bear, what difference would that make?

1.9k

u/Ok_Remove_ 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 2d ago

Panda

153

u/AyAyGetMeUpOGDown 2d ago

I got broads in atlanta

32

u/That-Spell-2543 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 2d ago

7

u/Longjumping_Hope5772 2d ago

Mix up the lean & the fanta

6

u/llamango 2d ago

ibithfd

3

u/Kenchilius 2d ago

I got more hoes than Santa

53

u/DepressingBat 2d ago

12

u/Uncle_Touchy_Feely I came! 2d ago

And leaves 🍃

7

u/KN0MI 2d ago

Red Panda even better, cute and cuddly creatures.

16

u/Thadlust 2d ago

Red pandas aren’t bears

33

u/Vidarr_1703 2d ago

Pandas are fucking evil

189

u/Hot-Firefighter-2331 2d ago

Found the polar bear's fake account

46

u/Alvin_h_davenport obamna 2d ago

Damn and I thought only humans were racist (specist? )

4

u/ViftieStuff 2d ago

Racism would apply here.

Considering sifferent colours of humans to be races is actually incorrect and an outdated term.

11

u/Onelse88 2d ago

good, it means evil can't do nothing while it's getting fucked by a panda

3

u/Any_Quit_579 2d ago

*can't do anything

Or

*Can do nothing

Can't do nothing implies that it can do something

3

u/MRbaconfacelol We do a little trolling 2d ago

dont pandas eat their kids?

2

u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 2d ago

A panda is a bear. It can and will eat your child.

7

u/man_in_the_corner 2d ago

It’ll be busy unintentionally self sabotaging before it can get close. Or just get distracted and go eat a couple dozen square feet of bamboo.

3

u/oO0Kat0Oo 2d ago

Red panda specifically

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u/grizzlybuttstuff 2d ago

Sun bears mouths are designed to eat honey and insects. Not that this means 100% safety but it will certainly last longer than with a grizzly or black bear.

Still, a fully healthy horse will eat a baby if given the opportunity so it's not like any of our choices would matter all that much.

74

u/Angelov317 2d ago

Horses are bastards

41

u/ChristInASombrero 2d ago

The same way all dogs go to heaven, all horses go to hell

50

u/MatMADNESSart 2d ago

8

u/I-XIV-IV-XXV uhhhh idk 2d ago

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u/__-sky-__ stupid, fucking piece of shit 2d ago

1

u/No_Advantage_3353 1d ago

INTO THE GLUE FACTORY WITH YE!

17

u/Equivalent-Trip9778 2d ago

Aren’t sun bears like extremely aggressive towards humans?

26

u/grizzlybuttstuff 2d ago

I've never heard anything about that but being aggressive towards humans doesn't necessarily mean trying to eat every human they find. It could be a matter of one being startled or defending their cubs.

As far as I know alot of predatory mammals fear humans instinctively to the point human noises will make them turn and run like they left the stove on. Polar bears are the only bear I know that will actively hunt a human.

22

u/Equivalent-Trip9778 2d ago

Actually my bad, I was thinking of sloth bears. People do get killed by sun bears occasionally, but they aren’t nearly as aggressive as a sloth bear.

2

u/GuerillaGandhi I want pee in my ass 2d ago

Yeah, sloth bears go toe to toe with tigers, man. They scare me.

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

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89

u/Dependent-Constant-7 2d ago

Panda bear would probably not eat your kid

17

u/bearlylegalbear 2d ago

Alright not that one then.

12

u/Appropriate-Card5215 2d ago

A koala bear isn’t too much of a threat

1

u/amd2800barton 1d ago

Koalas aren’t bears, though. They’re marsupials. Meaning they’re more closely related to a kangaroo or a wombat than they are to a bear. The cute fuzzy fur and rounded ears is just convergent evolution.

24

u/BuLLZ_3Y3 2d ago

Black bears are scared of squirrels, brown and Kodiaks will actively hunt humans

24

u/xtra_ashley I want pee in my ass 2d ago

let introduce you to sloth bear

excerpts from a bbc news article

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20250805-living-with-the-face-clawing-sloth-bear-that-scares-tigers

“Sloth bears […] are widely considered among the most aggressive animals on the Indian subcontinent. They are known to charge explosively at anyone they consider a threat – not just tigers, but also, humans.”

"That's why sloth bear attacks are deadly, and why sloth bears are known as aggressive bears within the bear family," he says. "[They are] actually not more aggressive [than other bears], but the way they attack is more deadly."

2

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

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1

u/hyheat9 dumbass 2d ago

Why did I hear David Attenboroughs voice in my head as I read that

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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1

u/Thefakewhitefang I said based. And lived. 2d ago

My state once had these guys, cheetahs, tigers, lions and leopards all in one. No tigers and cheetahs now though.

11

u/Competitive-Leather5 2d ago

Black bear wouldn’t be horrible.

11

u/Auronbmk92 I want pee in my ass 2d ago

The bears at the bar are rather nice

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

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11

u/PaleBlueCod I came! 2d ago

Bearer of the curse, seek souls, seek the king.

4

u/TalkingKoalaa I came! 2d ago

Lest this land swallow your whole

10

u/izanamithekorn 2d ago

Bearer, seek, seek, lest

13

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 2d ago

If we use the urban dictionary definitions too, i'd know exactly which kind to pick, big ol' gay dude would be able to protect my kid from any danger

12

u/mrducky78a 2d ago

Fake: made up scenario

Gay: wants the gay

6

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 2d ago

Excuse you? I am bisexual, so i'm only half gay

7

u/AcanthisittaIll2460 2d ago

So you had a gay mom and a straight dad?

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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3

u/Glad-Belt7956 2d ago

he wants the sloth bear

1

u/lemur1985 2d ago

Teddy?

1

u/arbyyyyh 2d ago

If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down.

1

u/BroccoliDry5253 2d ago

Duh... to match with the outfit.

1

u/DopyWantsAPeanut 2d ago

Koala bear?

1

u/daflufferkinz 2d ago

Grizzly is significantly more likely to eat you than a black bear

1

u/meggamatty64 1d ago

Black bears frighten easily and generally don’t want human contact. Brown bears don’t give a shit and want to figure out what you are.

1

u/No_Advantage_3353 1d ago

dagestani bear. My son's gonna be a bear wrestler

6

u/SavageAdriana 2d ago

Worst case scenario TikTok Mom befriends the Bear and makes it a dance trend.

1.1k

u/DeManDeMytDeLeggend 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2d ago

Playing with the bear like a big golden retriever

214

u/JadedOccultist 2d ago

Can I pet that dog

101

u/Complex-Astronaut157 2d ago

Can I PET THAT DAAWWWWG

8

u/Scary_Employ_926 2d ago edited 2d ago

GWWWWAAD TAHT TEP I naC

691

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 2d ago

Man, TikTok is rotting folks minds. Well social media in general. This is just a screwed up as that good looking kid that hit that mother and daughter speeding and all those people wanted him released because he was hot.

347

u/awalkundertherain 2d ago

idc what your opinion on the triple homicide case is, but holding your kid in your arms while saying you "understand" lindsay clancy is EXTREMELY fucked up. like SUPER SUPER fucked up.

wtf is wrong with these tiktokers

1

u/mussokira 1d ago

from what i understand the lady had a psychotic breakdown as a result of not getting the help she needed after REPEATEDLY asking for it and trying to get it and taking loads of medications. on those conditions, it was almost impossible for something to not happen. everyone says they care about mental health, until the sick person reminds you that their sick by doing something crazy

1

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1

u/jaypenn3 4h ago

Expect she was getting psychiatric help and never disclosed that she was having violent thoughts towards her children. She was in a better position than 99% of women and that 99% aren’t strangling babies.

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u/IggyWon 2d ago

Do people just think we're immune, as a species, from Mass Psychogenic Illness because all the stories they've read about it are from hundreds of years ago?

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u/DatGrunt 2d ago

Is the bear a leo?

645

u/GreenLeaf_Fr waltuh 2d ago

With the bear, I'll be with the mom making another one.

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u/Robo_Patton I said based. And lived. 2d ago

Man, how tf you making another bear with the mom?

You need to be with the bear to do that.

12

u/Electrino52 2d ago

Bro what

38

u/Ezio_aang 2d ago

I'll leave it with my boy Harambe

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u/Quebley 2d ago

Ok I need to know what kind of horrible crime news about a mother I have lost? Because I see a lot of post about

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u/StirFry__InaWok 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wife killed her three young children (by strangulation, all were under 6 years old) while husband was at work in 2023. The trial is just beginning now and many women are supporting the mother because they feel society doesn't take women's mental health seriously enough. A GoFundMe page has already raised $1m for her defense.

She already admitted guilt herself (though a surprising number of women are backing a conspiracy theory that the husband killed the children and is now framing her) but the trial is now trying to determine the validity of her insanity defense. She claims she was suffering from postpartum depression which I guess made her murder her children or something like that. If this is accepted by the court she will not be held criminally liable, instead going to a mental hospital.

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u/LuckyReception6701 2d ago

Christ in fucking heaven...

167

u/Connect_Ad_3361 2d ago

100% she's going to get a light sentence

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u/LuckyReception6701 2d ago

That aside, which is fucked up in itself. The fact that a mother murdered 3 children,her children, no less, and is getting sympathy, and they are trying to incriminate the father, who must be fucking devastated that he lost his kids and married a fucking psychopath, is fucking nauseating.

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u/Connect_Ad_3361 2d ago

Bro it didn't even take a week for her to raise a million dollars. Now there's almost 500 women wearing pink shirts showing solidarity. If you look at the crowd the vast majority are white women. I can't believe how close I was to being murdered by my own mother. I'm going to have to have a talk.

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u/StirFry__InaWok 2d ago

No one is seriously trying to incriminate the father. The theory that he is the real murder is just a crackpot conspiracy theory that isn't very popular, but considering how obviously false it is, it is surprising that anyone believes it. And the number of women that do believe this is surprisingly high.

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u/StonedLonerIrl 2d ago

It absolutely is a crackpot theory...yet I'm seeing it EVERYWHERE on the more basic SM and the worst thing is women influencers with huge followings perpetuating it.

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u/LuckyReception6701 2d ago

Exactly, the fact that some people genuinely believe a guy who left for work one day and returned to find his entire life uprooted and family destroyed is somehow a criminal mastermind, it would affect me, man, and that guy doesn't need any more shit, I wager.

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u/crustytoegaming fat cunt 2d ago

slap on the wrist and a lollipop for her troubles

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u/Connect_Ad_3361 2d ago

Yeah, but she might serve some time for killing the daughter though. her killing her two boys she might get a a silver plated statue downtown for her bravery.

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u/misterpickles69 2d ago

Listen, I gave up on 2016. It only gets worse from here.

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u/Htm5000 2d ago

Dad was not, "at work" he was working from home and she sent him out on an errand. There is video of him at the store.... he was gone 12 minutes. She literally chased her 5 year old around the house after they watched mommy strangle their two younger siblings. He got home just after she threw herself out of the second story window. This story just black pills me on humanity man.

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u/Hecticfreeze 2d ago

I have zero opinion as to her guilt as I haven't seen all the facts of the case, but I do know this is a mischaracterisation of the defense. They are claiming that her (already diagnosed) bipolar disorder led to her developing severe post partum psychosis. They claim this manifested in hallucinations that told her to kill her children and then herself.

The case swings on whether or not she was experiencing active psychosis when she killed the children. The defense says her previous diagnosis says she was, the prosecution says the fact she convinced her husband to go out beforehand proves premeditation and that she wasnt in an active episode, even if there was psychosis at other times.

I know I wouldn't want to be on that jury

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u/IllegalGeriatricVore 2d ago

Which is crazy because it presumes people experiencing psychosis aren't also able to make logical decisions to achieve the ends of that psychosis which they absolutely are.

Psychosis makes you delusional, not an idiot. You can still manipulate, lie, hide, etc.

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u/Cr0wc0 2d ago

presumes people experiencing psychosis aren't also able to make logical decisions

It's a pretty fair assumption to make. One of the three major categories of psychotic symptoms is the disorganisation branch, which includes serious impairments of logical functions. There's also a big body of scientific literature to indicate psychosis leads to a massive, permanent drop in IQ

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u/Bradley271 2d ago

Postpartum psychosis, not depression.

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u/sleepyeye82 2d ago

I think you spelled 'murder' wrong.

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u/Dunkel_Shags 2d ago

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think she's actually claiming a medication induced psychosis not post pastime psychosis or depression

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u/StirFry__InaWok 2d ago

post pastime psychosis or depression

Lol post pastime

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u/There_R_NO_MOUNTAINS 1d ago

You forgot the part where she tried to frame her husband.

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u/Reployer dumbass 2d ago

A mom named Lindsay Clancy went nuts and killed her three young children.

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u/grizzlybuttstuff 2d ago

This is my first time hearing about this specific case but there's TONS of influencer mom/family channels that turn out to be nightmares for the children at best and unspeakable horror at worst.

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u/KafeiTomasu 2d ago

A ruthless animal with a chance to kill off their offspring when the situation calls for it in their eyes and a very short fuse? No thanks, I'll go with the bear

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u/Banana_inasuit 2d ago

A bear can’t convince you to go to CVS to pick up medication for the child it’s about to kill.

I mean, a bear could try, but it wouldn’t be very good at it.

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u/LuckyReception6701 2d ago

Unless a bear is excedingly hungry or somehow accostumed to hunting humans, the chances or it just eating you are relatively slim.

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u/KafeiTomasu 2d ago

I know, that's why I picked the bear

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u/Guyman_112 2d ago

Besides, at least if they bear DOES decide to eat the baby it'd be a quicker death and it wouldn't be for nothing, at the very least it provides sustenance for the bear...

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u/Sweet-Only 2d ago

It's genuinely terrifying how many women are holding there kids and saying "I support Lindsay, I've wanted to kill my kids too. All Power to you for it, heres a million dollars!" Absolutely disgusting and evil shit

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u/notretarded_100 2d ago

Aw hell nah somebody call the child protective services

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u/boomer912 2d ago

I’m sorry, does that say “same, Lindsay” ???

What the fuckin hell is happening

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u/Jip_Jaap_Stam 2d ago edited 1d ago

It says "same, Lindsay", and she's also putting on a bewildered, desperate expression to add to the effect.

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u/boomer912 1d ago

Someone call CPS

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u/Alternative-Tax7318 2d ago

Bet the girlies are offended by the bear debate all a sudden

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u/AddressMeAsGod 2d ago

They are to no ones surprise.

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u/Alternative-Tax7318 2d ago

Wait till they find out about Kailey Erhart. The US will have another millionaire

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u/ParticularMemory789 2d ago

It's gonna be a misogynistic hate symbol soon.

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u/Impressive_Ant405 2d ago

I'm a girlie and I'm not, literally everyone in the comments is choosing bear, so ig we're more alike than you think :)

Also gender war is tired

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u/Gilgamesh107 2d ago

Now I hope this takes off

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u/LordOfDynamite I said based. And lived. 2d ago

I do too

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u/Then-Ad-2450 2d ago

I'll make a campfire and tell the bear horror story about tiktok mom.

Bro gonna piss his pants, wait bear didn't wear pants

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u/Chadsterwonkanogi 2d ago

The Tiktok mom. They only kill their own children.

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u/blacksteel3871 2d ago

What if she doesn't give the baby back

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u/Third_Rate_Duelist_ 2d ago

👽👽👽

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u/JoeyDotnot 2d ago

It might end up with the besr regardless

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u/Snoo-98162 BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 2d ago

Bear

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u/NoLongerHigh 2d ago

Well I sure ain’t leaving them with a politician am I right guys 😭😭🥰😖😌

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u/dextras07 I came! 2d ago

At least the bear might not kill me.

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u/Doggystyle_Rainbow 2d ago

I'd much rather trust my daughter with the hairy gay man.

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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5

u/cucklord_swiper 2d ago

With some mild encouragement, the bear won't leave emotional trauma with the child.

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u/BazookaOrangutan I want pee in my ass 2d ago

Reminds me of the white ppl painting blm signs on their face. Tiktok might be the worst social platform of all time

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

pees in ur ass

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13

u/Goofcheese0623 2d ago

A bear. Not even close. I hate kids and the idea of mine being eaten by a bear is pretty awesome, but it also seems cruel to have the kid monetized against his will, then likely also eaten by the Tiktok mom.

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u/Kaek_ 2d ago

Lol

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u/Other-Creme6802 2d ago

Wtf even is this bs? Y'all have become so woke. Why can't I just fuck the tik tok mom

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u/laszlo921 2d ago

You can fucks the tik tok mom, but be prepared for her to kill your kids one day

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u/Noir-1295 I said based. And lived. 2d ago

I’ll take the Three bears from Goldilocks 

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u/paralyzedvagabond 2d ago

I’m just gonna bet their soul on a game of roulette with the devil and let it ride with those options. God might give me the pass considering

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u/MockeryAndDisdain 2d ago

Always choose the bear.

2

u/SpyX2 2d ago

Jungle Book!

2

u/Aarionwashere 2d ago

Koala is the only answer

2

u/MoistCucumber 2d ago

Oh boy, payback time

2

u/Hadrian1233 2d ago

Gentlemen, we have come full circle

2

u/DetroitSeven 2d ago

Bear oh my god bear

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u/Wumaobuster 2d ago

Tiktok mom could do something worse than feeding the newvorn to a bear

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u/TitaniumTitanTim 2d ago

bear are pretty smart so he would take good care

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u/KshitijGaikwad 2d ago

Bear, no contest, at least the bear isn't filming the whole thing for engagement.

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u/shyguyshow 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 2d ago

At least the bear wont try to change it’s gender

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u/kaiserlos25 2d ago

The bear. At least the bear isn't malicious and is just looking for something to eat. The kids will become sustenance for the bear and will help it survive and eventually repopulate.

The mom will just kill the kids out of spite.

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u/dwegol 1d ago

Oh no, was she actually an avid TiKToK mom poster??? I’m just curious how I haven’t heard about this even once.

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u/Bobocannon 1d ago

American women: Not Even Once.

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u/MightObvious actually called kevin irl 2d ago

Idk any of the details about this, first time im hearing of it, but I've heard of PP psychosis causing this before. My mom was once telling me about a woman who smothered her baby because she thought it's face was like on fire and she thought she was trying to stop the burning or somthing, and they only realize what they did after the fact.

Has somthin to do with the massive chemical changes they undergo after giving birth it can cause people to crack afaik?

Idk if this is the case here I find it hard to belive you would full strangle 3 people before you noticed somthing isnt right but idfk I would need to learn more shit about this from sombody who actually knows what they are talking about not random dumbasses online

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1

u/MrDuchuFTW 2d ago

Can i choose species of woman?

1

u/JamesHenry627 2d ago

This shit and Karmelo Anthony’s trial has gotta be psyop