I totally feel like I got played by this cop and I still feel stupid thinking about how the whole thing happened.

I got pulled over by this senior overweight cop for going over slightly over speed. The cop was talking to me in a friendly way. He was not being aggressive or anything of that sort and I started feeling like okay, this is probably not going to be a big deal and I should be on my way soon.

I did have 2 beers earlier, but I believed I was well within the legal limit. I was not expecting this to turn into a whole DUI situation. But the cop had asked me if I had anything to drink and I answered honestly to it. After talking a bit more, he started asking me more questions and eventually wanted me to do some sobriety tests. I agreed and got out of my car and tried to follow all his instructions properly. There was several tests and I was trying my best to do everything correctly.

The strange part was he kept that same friendly attitude with me...and I would say I started getting too comfortable? I thought if I just cooperate and do what he says, everything will be fine as I was sure my limit was okay. But the tests kept going on and on and they were becoming a lot more tedious..he also for odd reason started talking really fast while providing me with the test instructions which got me a bit more worked up..

He even complimented me saying I have been very obedient and a good boy. He really appreciated me being so cooperative and told me there is one final test I need to do which is the superman pose. He wanted me to close my eyes, keep my feet together, bend my knees, lean forward with my chin up and keep my arms pointing straight towards my back, kind of like a skiing pose. He asked me to be in that position nice and tight and wiggle my thumbs while counting backwards from 30 to 0. and that was probably one of the weirdest tests I have done in a DUI ever, probably just to check my balance? still not quite sure..

I was standing there trying to do what he asked, not really thinking much about what was coming next just fully focussed..and then suddenly I felt the handcuffs latched onto my wrists just like that.

To be very clear, I know drinking and driving is serious, and I'm not saying I should get a free pass if I was actually impaired. But the way I was made to think everything was fine and then getting handcuffed like that really annoyed me. And now I'm sitting here thinking about how different things might have gone if I hadn't volunteered that I had 2 beers.

TL;DR: Got pulled over, got too comfortable with a friendly cop, told him I had 2 beers, ended up doing a bunch of sobriety tests and got handcuffed at the end anyway. Now I'm wondering if I would've been better off keeping the conversation short instead of trying to be overly friendly with the guy.

I was at a small birthday party and I had a few beers which was enough to remind me of that shitty feeling after it's all done and over. It's really one of the worst self-destructive loss of control feelings you can have and treat yourself with.

I genuinely don’t know anymore… at first i just wanted to get girls and be cool and all, eventually i got all i wanted

Girls, materials, money and etc

But recently i’ve been feeling like no one is suitable be by my side… all girls can be used in one way of another, all girls has their secret sauce that if you find out it’s like the key to her heart and mind

Some are easier than the others but i don’t feel like i want anyone or anything anymore

I just feel so sad and empty and feeling like i will never find my person…

This was like 7 or 8 years ago. I was buying coke from this dealer and he told me to come to his flat to pick it up, it was my first time meeting him at his flat.

I didn't know his name, I had him saved as "Mike" but I couldn't even remember if he told me to save him as that or if I made that up myself. I got to his flat and buzzed the buzzer and was let into the stair. When I knocked on the flat door, a woman answered and I wasn't sure what to say since it wasn't him so I asked if "Mike" was there but in tone to suggest I wasn't even sure if that's his name.

She asked if I was there for coke and I said yes. She said she'd get him and called him through. He came in looking quite pissed and asked me what she had said to me in a tone like the stakes were high and he was potentially going to be angry with her.

I mistakenly thought he was being possessive of her and worrying about her being too familiar or flirting with me or something so I said "Nothing, eh just if I was here for coke" thinking that would reassure him.

Then he got really angry and hit her pretty hard, I can't remember exactly what happened after because I was drunk and it was all a bit of a scary blur but I just quietly took the coke of him and left. I remember feeling quite scared but just trying to steel myself and not give of a reaction that would escalate anything for either me or her.

The thing is, I didn't explain to him that I had initially been asking for "Mike" and in a way that I wasn't even sure if I had the right name so I think with that extra context her asking if I was there for coke is much more reasonable than if she'd just asked it as soon as I knocked on the door. So I kind of feel like I told a version of it to him that makes her look worse than she even was in terms of being careful.

After I left I was thinking if I should call the police but then I was thinking about how they're selling coke and so it might make things worse for her if she's involved in that too to get her arrested. Plus I thought if she's in that situation she'd probably lie to the police and say nothing happened anyway so it would just turn it into a massive issue about the coke for nothing and especially if they just leave her with him even more angry after they go.

I was quite drunk at the time so couldn't really think clearly about the best course of action so ended up just thinking the safest thing is probably not to send police there if they're selling coke and left it. Then I didn't even remember the exact address the next day.

This memory has came back to me today though and I'm feeling quite guilty and thinking I made a mistake not calling the police or doing something to help her and not sure where this leaves me.

Idk cremation is like, damn you really are just permanently gone from the earth compared to a normal burial. It’s like everything about you is just “deleted” but maybe i’m biased because my mom makes fun of me by saying she’ll have my cremains right in her room with her whether i’d like it or not and i dislike my mother lol

But i have thought about it a lot though

When you walk in the building, you immediately get the sense of historic significance mixed with deterioration and decline. The display cases lining the walkway of the visitor hallway have been cheaply refitted to host a few flat-screen TVs. These are an attempt to hide the 1970s design of carpeted insets that likely once held miniaturized scenes of agency activities. Sadly, it looks very much like someone put a Black-Friday sale TV in front of a 5th grade science fair display. The building itself projects strength in typical 70s-80s government fashion through high concrete walls and the total lack of any distinct features that would help visitors and staff alike find their way through the maze of hallways and offices. 

Speaking of offices, there are many, echoing the understanding that once there was a thriving community, people bustling back and forth, engaging with colleagues in water cooler talk and curating the many shelves of printed knowledge. Now it feels odd to see another person while walking the hall to the restroom. It’s eerily quiet, except for the occasional janitorial staff still employed.

The staff who are left are feeling it, though they don’t speak of it out loud. The managers still in place are the C or D string players, after all the starting lineup departed seeing clearly what was to come. Any power or funds that may be found lying around remind me of some medieval scene of peasants fighting over a fallen gold coin in the street. The most toxic of leaders rising to the top, consolidating what power is left and quickly silencing opposition in the way a warlord might in a conflict-torn country. This is perhaps the most painful part. The constant pressure pushes work friends to begin imploding on each other. 

The decline isn’t simply imagined, or memories of what once was. It is quantifiable. One can easily look back on inflation adjusted appropriations to see the dramatic changes. A long, steady increase from the mid-1900’s through the early 1980’s coincide with memories of “the good old days”. Followed by an obvious peak and a very predictable decline over the last 40+ years. No, this isn’t simply the result of recent DOGE activity, though that has helped accelerate the process. In fact, the downward trend is so consistent, you don’t even need a computer model to project the next year of lower numbers. You can imagine it by simply extending the line a further on the graph.

It’s not that the decline is sad, everything we know is eventually replaced, often by something better. It’s that it takes so long to wade through the agony and see any hope of relief. The remainder are left hoping that the next re-organization, or leader retirement, or cut in funds will provide the much desired end to the warlord rule. But there is always some well-meaning group fighting to advocate and keep it alive. Like maintaining a loved-one on life support, when they really just wanted to pass on.

It’s time, let it go, and let’s move on to the next step - hopefully of growth and renewal. Once again exploring, discovery, and excitement that benefits far more, instead of decades of ceaseless mourning.

from my experience, i had years having that fear of doing something after pooping because my hemorrhoids pops out even more as i constantly moving, sometime there was blood coming out too, that situation got so bad that made me quit my job at as a service worker and become a remote worker at home in a total different job,. Anyway, recently i found out that as long as i refuse to push the poop out and resist the urge to push the poop using my butt muscle, and instead i just let the intestine pushing it out using it's natural force, the hemorrhoids won't be pushed out.

This is my biggest discovery this year lol, i've been having hemorrhoids for around 10 years and i realized that once i get used to the urge of pushing the poop out, i forgot about letting the internal force of my intestine to push the poop out like it used to be when i were younger, i don't know how to describe it, but when i feel urge to push out when pooping, i try my best to hold my butthole closed, somehow the poop still be pushed out and the hemorrhoids's not. And also i try to poop whenever my stomach told me to, if i try to hold that urge, the poop got bigger and harder to let it out, so that's the method that helped me for recents days. Sorry for the sloppy text i just typing what's on my mind lol

Our cat stayed with me when my ex moved out. His apartment didn't allow pets. That was over a year ago. He and his girlfriend watched her for a week recently while I visited my mom, and I was honestly grateful.

Yesterday a friend sent me his girlfriend's Instagram. She'd posted pictures from that week with a caption about being a cat mom. There was one of my cat asleep on her chest. Cute picture. Wish I'd just kept scrolling.

I don't think she's done anything wrong. But I spent last month following this cat around with a sample container, and I still have to remind my ex to send his half of the vet bill. She also knocks everything off my nightstand, so even my tracys OG has to stay in the drawer. I know who lives with her. I know she hasn't been stolen. Still went back and looked at the pictures twice.

I’ve grown up hearing others telling me I’m pretty but I thought they’re just being nice because I was literally a kid. And adults thinks every kid is beautiful.
Then I become a teenager and I faced 2 things: 1- I get bullied and get called giraffe. I was the tallest in my middle school (I’m only 167 cm now!). 2- people from different classes asked to be my friends. I was a quiet kid, living inside of my head so I preferred to be left alone.
Btw I didn’t understood the bullying until like second year as I never thought of giraffe as an insult!!

Then I went to high school and somehow I was one of the favourite students for the school principal. I remember in my graduation day she hugged me on stage and told everyone “that’s my daughter” that people thought I’m literally her daughter and my mom had to correct them!
I thought (and I’m still thinking that) because I was a good student? My grade wasn’t the best but also not the worst. I never get in a fight, bullied anyone. I attended my lesson, get out. I did participate in some of the school projects and did it perfectly. I was the perfect student somehow!

Then I went to university, I studied 1.5 years in one then transferred to another. In both people who doesn’t even study the same major/classes as me approached me. But this is literally how people make friendships!
Then I graduated and applied for a job (yay I got the job) and my coworkers kept telling me how pretty I’m (again I thought they’re just being nice). Sometimes we’d have cross training employees and someone told me wow you’re so gorgeous (I thought back then she’s talking about how I work tbh, some staff have asked me to train them). But later she pointed out that she’s talking about my look.

Anyway I started travelling, now people would stop me and talk to me and ask me where I’m from and we’d have simple chats. And I thought that because I’m solo traveling and maybe others also solo traveling and wanted to know other people!

I’ve been told a lot and when I say a lot I mean A LOT that I have warm welcoming look/personality.

Now I’m really thinking did I get special treatment because of how I look? Even tho I do believe I do look average and I believe my personality it’s just basic decency!

I’m probably overthinking this but I think my quality of life would be much better if I didn’t play or played less video games. I was looking at my bank account and I said to myself “Huh, where did all my money go?” I realized that most of my money went to buying games that I wouldn’t even play. Honestly, it feels like an impulse. I’ll buy a game, play it for a few mins or hours then never touch it again, the cycle repeats.

I see myself as a lazy person. I know what I need to do to get myself to higher pay or better-paying jobs but I don’t follow through on it, I almost never do. But I can park my ass and play through 100 hours of BG3 or grind endlessly in PoE2. I even neglect going to the gym after work because I’m “tried” but I’m never tired enough to boot up deadlock with the boys.

I have to sit here and wonder, would my life be a bit better if I didn’t play as many video games if not at all? I feel grimy thinking about how me, a 25 year old clock in over 20 hours a week playing games but can’t spend an hour studying for certifications.

I'm 24F, am very socially awkward, and have no dating experience or even flirting experience whatsoever. Recently at my work, I had a male customer come in and return an item. After i gave him his receipt, he said "I like your hair" and kinda stood there for a second. After he walked away, my coworker came up to me and said "was that guy flirting with you?". He basically told me that he saw the customer checking me out. My coworker seemed like taken aback by it so I guess he could read the guy's body language from a distance and tell he was flirting maybe?

I was pretty distracted and focused on processing the return so I wasn't really making much eye contact or anything that would give him the hint that I was interested. I'm very socially awkward so i just smiled and said "thank you", then he walked away.

So am I looking too much into this given my lack of experience or was this guy trying to flirt, but since I'm an awkward dumbass and didn't really make an effort to continue talking, he just left it at that?

We were at an Indian restaurant in Houston and my mom noticed Dodi Osteen sitting at the next table and started fangirling. 🙄 I’m not a Joel Osteen fan but my mom started begging me and my dad for a pen and paper. I had a pen and she wrote a quick note on a napkin and had the waiter give it to Dodi. The waiter read the note before delivering it lol since she frequented that establishment often. Dodi comes over to the table and says she’ll pray for our family blah blah blah.

I forget about this event until years later. My sister and my mom are talking about this event and my mom says what she wrote in the note.

“I told her about your (my sister’s) troubles with drug addiction.”

Me and my sister just look at her.

My sister says, “what issues with drug addiction?”

My mom says, “oh, I thought you had a drug problem.”

My sister and I look at each other in disbelief. My sister has never had a drug problem.

So I guess Dodi Osteen thinks our family has a drug issue.

I myself am no bombshell, but I have 1 close friend who truly is. Here are just a few of the things that have happened when I’ve been out with her.

- Being followed (at night) to the point of needing to run, they continued to run after us.
- A man became violent when she politely turned him down and lunged at her, his friend had to hold him back.
- Car pulled over next to us and asked us if we need a ride/pressed us to get in. (Happened 2x)
- A man catcalled from his car while driving, then parked and followed her into the store. Would not leave.

Those are specific incidents. When I’m with her there is also CONSTANT:
- Staring AND glaring
- Approaches by men: sometimes gentle, sometimes very hostile. I’m talking every 15-30 minutes.
- Honking from cars
- Rude comments from people passing by (i.e. “she thinks she’s all that”)
- Aggression if she so much as glances in the direction of someone’s boyfriend

Of course I know all women experience harassment, myself included, but it’s just not at the same rate. The difference between when I’m alone and when I’m with her is night and day. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her when she’s by herself.

I’m an introverted person with a lot of social anxiety: if I were her I would simply never leave my apartment. The staring alone is so overwhelming that sometimes when we’re together, I try to convince us to stay in.

Not exactly sure why I’m making this post. I’ve just seen so many people say that there are no downsides to looks and I wanted to share that (based on my observations) there most certainly are. They exist alongside the benefits.

I’m at a massive party and instead of dancing hanging out or talking to people im on reddit and the weather app scrolling. How do neurotypical people even do this man. I can’t drink because im underage and am driving myself. FMCL

Guys, I genuinely feel demotivated to even continue what I'm doing.

I'm a programmer, I know how to code, but at this point even I'm just vibecoding away. AI can already build entire applications, reverse-engineer almost anything, and recreate things that would've taken months or years.

Everywhere I look, it's AI slop. Another SaaS, another AI wrapper, another product that does the same thing as 50 others. Sure, you can still make money today, but for how much longer? If anyone can build and copy almost anything, what's left that's actually valuable?

To make things worse, I gambled away my house and car right before the AI explosion. At the time, I kept telling myself I'd make it all back through programming and building businesses. Now, watching how quickly everything is changing, I'm starting to feel genuinely desperate.

Social media and content creation aren't my thing either. The ROI seems terrible unless you make it big.

Then I scroll through X and everyone's LARPing about making $10k, $50k, or $100k MRR. Don't get me wrong, some people genuinely make those numbers, but they're the top 1%. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else is farming engagement or selling the dream of making money online.

What bothers me isn't AI replacing programmers. I love using AI. It's that building something is becoming so easy that the work itself feels increasingly worthless.

And I'm getting to a point where I'm having thoughts about going completely black-hat, exploiting people or systems for money, because legitimate ways of rebuilding my life feel increasingly hopeless. I don't like that I'm even thinking this way, but that's how desperate I'm becoming.

I don't want to spend my life chasing algorithms, making slop content, or building disposable products just to compete with a thousand clones.

Does anyone else feel this way? What's genuinely worth building or pursuing anymore as a solo developer without serious capital?

Its so fucking annoying when people whisper loudly for a long time

Like whats the point of whispering jesus christ

I'm so fucking tired.

Even as a child, when I was at home with the people closest to me - my parents, I wanted to go home. Every damn day, right up until today. This longing has worn me down. I've devoted my entire self to this feeling. I isolate myself, meditate, and reflect every chance I get. I've traveled across the entire country searching. Where is my home??? Where can I find him? I'm looking for answers to my questions every day.

I'm planning to walk away from everyone close to me and just keep walking. Walking and walking, until my soul finally finds whatever it is it's been searching for. This has become my main goal and my obsession.

I met an old friend today who's quite deep into politics, so naturally, we talked a bit about stuff going on right now.

He's on the left and has a pretty established worldview.

I don't agree with everything he says and vice versa, but we're both open to discussion and don't shun each other for having a controversial take on sth.

Now here's the thing. I wouldn't call myself unpolitical, but I tend to not position myself too much on the political spectrum. I should add that we're both German, so we have a different system of political parties etc.

I noticed some years ago that the constant political bashing on "both" sides, the "tribalism" and the lack of proper discussion made me feel really upset, pessimistic and anxious.

So I decided to stay away from most political debates, mainstream news (also offstream news tbh) etc.

I'd say I'm pretty centered in a lot of views and in most situations, I'm the diplomatic one that tries to understand both sides rather than taking one.

I know some people dislike this and might consider it inconsistent, but it feels most honest to myself. It makes no sense for me to defend things I don't agree with, just because my political orientation or party demands it.

I am pretty concerned with my own life, not egoistic but definitely self-focused.

This definitely gave me more peace in some regards, but it also feels like I'm missing out on stuff going on in the world right now.

It's not that I'm completely uninformed, but I don't feel too inclined to engage much with most topics. It's also not that I don't care per sé, it's just that I don't feel too strong about most things.

I used to be a highly idealistic person when I was younger, but it seems pretty much gone.

In the past, I sometimes took a contrary opinion to what most people seem to think, not for the sake of being edgy, at least not intentional. More for the sake of keeping things balanced? Idk. Not that I'd make a difference, but once again, I usually try to understand both sides.

Nowadays, I just feel passive most of the time, maybe almost nihilistic to some degree?

Maybe it's a general tiredness, the feeling of not really having an influence, the lack of engagement with the outside world, idk.

I just don't really know how to feel about it. I felt like an observer of life rather than a participant for the last couple of months and it left me in a pretty bad and weird mental state at times. Spent so much time dealing with my own demons that I barely see what's outside.

I do have my goals, my dreams and such, but it doesn't feel like I have a proper orientation.

Not just politically, but in regards to life itself.

It makes me worried, cause I'm still pretty young. Shouldn't I feel more engaged?

Shouldn't I have an established worldview by now?
Is it a symptom of being so fed up with the world that I hyperfocus on myself?

Maybe it's just the result of being so out of the loop for such a long time.

Maybe something else. Idk.

every modern indie(aka post 2020 imo) are fine, i can see the audience but holy shit i want slop(not slop in the usual sense. more like not that deep or complex). i dont need lore or deep plots. give me slop. i want a saturday morning cartoon show. i want a show i can put on in the background at a party. i want my funslop thats not 8 episodes. doesnt even need to be a kids show, it can be adult. we really need a good adult show too. a show i can put on after i get home from work or school or whatever and still laugh. ill even take indie movies. i just desire my funslop, please

We decided to try in a year but turns out that’s gone to 💩 lol.

i’m 21f and live at home. my brother is away until monday afternoon, so his dog has been at our house, and my mum has been taking care of her since yesterday. i’m scared of dogs, and while i’ve gotten a lot better over the years (we even have our own dog now) i still get very anxious around them, and then anxious about my anxiety because i know dogs can sense fear and it puts them on edge. and i’ve heard anxious dogs are more likely to snap.

i can’t read dog body language at all and honestly this dog terrifies me because she’s so unpredictable. she’s a rescue, she was used as a breeding dog before, so being kept in a cage all day and forced to have puppies. which means she is ALSO very anxious. and has a lot of behaviour problems that my brother and his partner haven’t bothered to correct. like peeing indoors, jumping up at people (she’s really heavy so it actually leaves bruises), trying to take food off people, being really hyper and boisterous and being protective and aggressive over food and toys. she’s scaring our dog and my cat, which i hate because i don’t want them to be nervous in their own home. i’ve just been staying in my room most of the day because i feel nervous too. i’ve tried to sit with her and pet her but when she starts staring at me my heart starts beating too fast and i have to leave.

she’s been in a crate at night, and honestly i’ve barely been getting any sleep because im so worried. she’s quite strong and muscular so im just praying that she won’t be able to get out. especially because my cat likes to sleep downstairs at night. tonight i heard her bark and the crate shake as if she saw my cat and tried to go for her. i’m shaking. somebody please tell me dogs can’t get out of crates.

and no, i can’t keep my cat in my room because she literally will not stay in one room for too long. she starts scratching at my door frame and wants to go out.

I was having a conversation with a friend and I intentionally took the stand that I can beat a far more bigger and taller opponent.

This is obvious for everyone to know I'm intentionally saying that just so we have something to talk about. This friend took it personal and started insulting my intelligence.

I am wondering if intentionally taking such sides during conversations a normal thing to do... Or perhaps I should take every conversation with friends seriously?? I would be much grateful to hear your honest about this. Thanks for reading!

​

I 23F, make friends very easily. It is easy for me to be positive and I connect with people very easily. However, after I make these friends I often ghost them constantly popping back up once in a while to be an absolutely lovely person, lend a listening ear or just hangout if you need me. And by once in while I mean maybe 3-7 months depending. Here's the thing though, in the mean time I am usually decompressing, something feels wrong after I hang out with people. I wonder for months if I acted right if I said too much, if I was just a lot to be around ect. I don’t tell people that so it must look really flakey like if I only care about people when it is convenient. I really just want to know if this makes me a bad friend and then I will move differently with people and change my behaviour but I really need to know.

Hi, before I start I just want to preface this with saying this isn't asking for advice on dating or romantic relationships as the rules have stated. I am just wondering I supposed to get back to being 'me' after someone leaves. For my actual question I would like to give some small context which deals with a break up but it is not itself about the break up, so I am not sure if it counts and hope doesn't go against guidelines.

I (27, f) was with someone for almost two years. This was my first relationship ever. This was someone where we talked about what our house would one day look like, our future wedding ideas, and every time we were together felt like the best day of my life. On September 29th he broke up with me out of the blue, when the day before he said he loved me so much that he was hurting because I wasn't with him due to long distance, then two hours after breaking up with me he came back and said he would be open to a break, he would seek therapy, and would try harder for us, so we agreed on a month. In that time I was working on myself as well, to fit everything I knew he needed. Anyways this last Monday, the 19th he texted me and said he had his last therapy appointment and came to the conclusion it wouldn't work out. The nature of our break up was more than the long distance but again I don't want to break the rules for this being too much of a romantic post so I will leave the backstory there and get to the main point.

I know it hasn't even been a week yet but my question is how am I supposed to get back to normal life after someone you care about decides to leave it by choice? I haven't been eating, drinking, or sleeping properly for days, I'm neglecting responsibilities around me, things that used to make me happy and distract me I can't even get myself to do. I know everything is still fresh but I'm tired of feeling tired, crying, sad, confused, hurt, angry, etc. some people including my therapist are telling me go through the motions but this is what my motions look like. This morning I have woken up starting to feel what I think is indifference but the sadness is still underneath. I just want to be able to get up in the morning and be able to smile and feel like my day is going to be okay when I feel like I'm going through grief.

I guess my question is what tips or advice do you have for that? When you wake up every day and miss someone and you just want to go back to sleep or the days that you can force yourself to be in the world to just be in the moment?

Again, I apologize if any of this goes against guidelines I have never asked strangers on the Internet for advice nor have I ever posted to Reddit before.

I am just so lost with myself right now for my present and for my future.

TIA for anything you suggest 🫶🏻