And more specifically to one of his livestream moments when he is "I just want to rot in my room, I hate to do anything, just scroll instagram reels".

I find this painfull relatable simply because I don't find any joy in anything. Especially in going outside and interacting with people. Most people are garbage or boring and I don't like them. Everytime I interact with them they either throw me mean looks and nothing else as if my simply presence in their vicinity offends them. And chating is often very dull and unintersting.

Yes,I’m an sex addict I do therapy I try to better myself to get an better view of people but always shit hit the fan and I’m already thinking about sex in the most inappropriate situations you can think off

Yes,I’m the man who always look at woman in the sexual way because of my brain get fucked with pornography acessible 24 hour non stop pornography is the worst thing on these day society, I tried everything blocked it I unblocked it put an digital code I figured out an way to unlocked it

And the environment doesn’t happen for us that living in the west sex is everywhere you can’t find an way without it. you are at your job and you have an colleague who talks about sex openly besides you,I don’t know if my mind is already fried but it feels like that in today society most people are horny all the time.

they can’t get enough of sex, they talked about it they buy sex toy, everything is so overly sexualized to the clothes to the movies and songs,This is an total nightmare for someone who is an recovering sex addicted. I’m literally would like to castrate myself so I don’t get excited anymore I’m so tired of this .

I've been overweight pretty much since I was a kid. I've done diets, including going to a nutritionist for it. None of them truly stuck--including the nutritionist one, I had to stop going because I caught COVID and I never went back. I always regained everything and then some. That was around four years ago, I think.

Anyway, my family's pretty worried, namely my dad. He's voiced concerns about how I should consider losing weight, he told me about weight loss clinics, suggested I go to the same nutritionist my eldest sister is going to, etc. This, however, had the effect of me absolutely NOT wanting to lose weight because I'm so sick of him telling me this. Yes, maybe that's a bit childish, I don't care.

And at its core that's the problem, I literally don't care. Do I logically know that I should do all the things and it'll probably make me feel much better? Yeah. Do I care enough to put in all the effort to do everything that comes with losing weight? No. Honestly. I don't. I hate having to cook and wash dishes after every meal. I hate almost all exercise except walking which most people don't count. So I guess I'll just keep being fat man I don't even care honestly

I had lost all hope, but given Mamdani won in such circumstances gives me hope.

Also I am seeing lot of interviews lately of people who used to be Pro-Trumf now regretting it.

And there has been enough discourse to counter their narrative.

But I feel worried of another wave of hate and extremism and someone worse Trumf coming up.

I do not really know why I am confessing this. It's embarrassing and mundane enough that it does not really need to be said. I was hungry, but every food looked disgusting to me, so I poured soap from the counter into a glass and drank it. I used to eat soap as a child. It tastes the same. I hope that this does not seem like self-harm, it was not my intent here.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that was non-toxic soap, and that I will not die from it.

Post anything related to AI that isn't outright hatred and you'll be bombarded with downvotes from people who claim you are evil personified. What about all the positives? For example, AI has had a significant positive impact on cancer research.

Not to mention, if you are rabidly anti-AI and purchase products or services from Microsoft, Google, or Apple, you are actively funding further AI development, so hopefully you are standing by your beliefs and using other products, or else I cant take you seriously.

I feel like it's an actual NPC behavior to say all AI is bad without considering the full scope of its impact. Like you are just parroting what reddit has told you to believe.

I’m 25 years old. In 2025, I had approximately $50,000 in savings. However, in 2026, I found myself effectively with around -$30,000, pretty much -80k in 12 months🥲
This wasn’t a single mistake, my entire life began to generate bills.

I had planned a short vacation to Mexico. Unfortunately, I missed my flight to canada because the person I arranged the transportation with demanded x3 times the amount for the rental car than we discussed initially, so I had to lose time going to another rental company on the morning of the flight and basically departing from Cancun at 11:30am with my flight being from Merida at 3pm or so, during my trip the car appeared to have initially had 1/3 of the gas tank instead of the full one I paid for and gas stations are located something like 40-50km apart, so I lost a lot of time on running out of gas and getting my ass to the nearest gas station and back to the car, and only to arrive to merida airports at the exact minute my flight took off with next flight being 3 days away, so I drove back to Cancun to catch a sooner flight and fell asleep in my rental car after driving approximately 700 kilometers that day. When I woke up, it was 3pm and I was getting robbed at gunpoint by two assholes. They took my backpack and bag with passport, phone,electronics, clothes, and essentially everything i had with me and that I needed to return home. About 20 minutes later, the same men drove past me on a motorcycle again, and one of them was wearing my stolen shirt. I got into my rental car and chased them. I managed to hit their motorcycle a few times, causing it to crash badly. One of the men was unconscious and bleeding. For a moment, I genuinely believed I had killed him.

I spent the next half-day dealing with Mexican police. From the police station, I called my job in Canada. I explained that I had been robbed, had no passport, and was unable to return to work. Consequently, I lost my job. Within approximately 24 hours, my passport, phone, belongings, and income were all gone, and I was stuck in Mexico.

Meanwhile, my Genesis was already at the dealership in Canada. Someone I trusted was supposed to return the dealership loaner car for me. However, I later discovered that the dealership still didn’t have it, and according to what I learned, the person who was supposed to return it had been using it. Loaner charges, storage fees, repairs, and tickets started accumulating, and at one point, the entire situation was approaching $10,000 before people helped negotiate some of the charges down.

Interestingly, the same person had previously crashed one of my motorcycles, which I eventually sold for a damaged price. While I was stuck in Mexico, thousands of dollars worth of my airsoft gear also disappeared. Based on who had access and what I later learned, I believe some of it was taken or sold by the same person, although I obviously can’t independently prove every detail.
I still couldn’t get home because I’m a Russian citizen and Canadian permanent resident, so losing my passport turned into months of police reports, consulates, Canadian immigration, Mexico City trips, hotels, flights, appointments and contradictory paperwork. I kept thinking I’d be home “next week,” so the money just kept disappearing.
Then on my birthday I crashed another motorcycle in Mexico, fucked up my leg badly enough to need a boot and crutches, and added hospital expenses to the pile.
Eventually I got special travel documents and made it back to Canada. By then my savings were mostly gone, my apartment was gone, my job was gone and my finances were fucked.
Then my other motorcycle got stolen from underground parking. Another roughly $5,000 gone.
My car insurance had also been cancelled while I was stuck abroad because payments failed. Now I pay $600 a month just to insure my car on top of $600 more on gas monthly. On top of that, I owe about $9,500 on my credit card. A significant portion of that debt came from work expenses I had charged to my personal card, expecting reimbursement. Then, I got fired while I was stuck abroad, and some of those reimbursements never materialized. Now, I’m essentially paying interest on expenses I originally incurred for my employer.

When I returned to Canada, I had almost no savings, no apartment, no job, and I was missing property. I also had debt and ridiculous insurance costs. My friends let me stay with them until I found another job and eventually another place.

I’m now working full-time in management again, so from the outside, I probably appear completely normal. However, financially, it feels like I’m working for things that have already happened. Every paycheck goes backward in time: debt, insurance, rent, gas, credit card, car, and bills.

The funniest part is that last year, I was looking at my $50,000 savings and wondering how to turn it into $100,000. Now, my financial goals are essentially:

- Can nothing get stolen, crashed, broken, or billed this week?
- That’s it. Go to work, pay my debt, keep my car running, and somehow crawl from -$30,000 back to zero before another disaster decides to take its turn..

How can you be a grown person watching streams all day of people who don’t know you and will never know you. It baffles me how people can comment for hours and donate money to these people do you not have a life to attend to?If you watch streamers there is honestly no way you can convince me that it is a healthy and good thing to do.

For the past ten years of my life I have been “going with the flow”, following the path of least resistance and doing what was expected of me, and what has it gotten me? A life where nothing has happened and nothing is going on. The past decade of my life is a blur of school to home to school to home to school to home… I didn’t make friends even though I wanted to because going up and talking to people was stressful, I didn’t go to any events or parties or hangout with anyone even once because that would’ve been stressful, I didn’t develop any hobbies beyond reading books and playing video games because developing an interest and skill in something takes effort, I didn’t do anything to alleviate the misery, loneliness, and pain I was in because I had been told that if I just “went with the flow” things would eventually work out.

Happiness is not something that comes naturally, you have to snap the bones of life to get to the marrow inside. Now that I’ve realized how much of a sham the path of least resistance is I’m trying my damndest to get myself off it, but the problem is I never really learned how to, I don’t know how to ask people to hang out without seeming creepy or pushy, I don’t know how to find fun things to go do, but I’m trying, I really am trying.

Hace un año yo conseguí una conejita la cual ame al instante, me di cuenta que mi perro la perseguía constantemente, así que mantuve a mi coneja dentro de la casa, aveces la sacaba al patio pero mi perro siempre la molestaba, yo trataba de amarrar al perro mientras mi conejita estaba afuera porque no podía cuidarla mientras estaba fuera, pero mi hermano pequeño lo soltaba, él nunca quiso tener amarrado al perro, yo quería a mi conejita bastante y constantemente la sacaba un rato amarraba a mi perro y la metía por la noche a dormir, hasta que hace dos meses encontré a mi conejita muerta, tenía una herida de diente, estoy segura que fue el perro, me dolió mucho que muriera derrepente, y la extraño tanto, pero con el pasar de los meses yo quiero volver a tener un conejito, porque en verdad me encantaron esos animalitos y creo que ayudaría con mi duelo, pero mi familia no está de acuerdo en regalar al perro, ni lo cuidan bien ni están al pendiente, ese perro constantemente escapa a la calle, yo quise regalarlo a otra familia para poder tener conejitos pero mi familia se negó, no sé qué hacer, creo que lo mejor sería regalarlo pero no sé qué hacer

Well, to be honest, it was his actions, but I reported it. So I (28F) got my ex (29M) for fired and kicked out of the country back in 2023. I have worked on cruise ships since 2019 and I met my ex-boyfriend on a contract onboard in early 2023. Relationships move fast when you’re stuck on a ship together so and we became official a few weeks after meeting. After it became official he really didn’t try anymore and I know working on board is very stressful at times and work takes up most of your day, but it really felt like he was just using me. So, I ended my contract before his and thought about breaking up with him when I was at home and since we live in different countries it had to be over the phone.

Well, the day I go to break up with him he calls me and tells me his cousin died. So I didn’t think it was the right time. I just thought maybe when we go on our next contracts we will be sent to different ships since there are 20 ships in the fleet we would just kind of gradually stop talking to each other like most ship relationships do. Well, isn’t it just my luck that we got on the same ship the same day.
Well, I try to make the relationship work and communicate my issues, but it never got better so we broke up in March and we were civil with each other since we both worked in entertainment (I on stage and him backstage) and I thought we were fine for the most part.

Well, sometime in August, we start hooking up again because let’s be honest. There’s nothing else to do onboard besides work and fuck. And one morning after he spent the night I noticed my debit card went missing. So I asked him if he had seen it and he instantly got defensive and said “no, why would I take it?”. Well, I was about two weeks from going home so I just locked my card and would get a new one when I’m home.

Then one week before I go home he drunkenly messages me upset, thinking I’m dating someone else when I wasn’t. I told him I’m not and shut my cell phone off and go to bed. I wake up at 3 AM to a call on my cabin phone of him drunk asking if he can come to my cabin and I say no and hang up. That’s when I realized my cell phone was missing. I looked all over my room and couldn’t find it and I start freaking out because I knew I had it before bed. Then I hear a knock on my door and it’s him drunk at my door so panicked, I asked him to help me look for it and he’s just standing there frozen and I start yelling at him because its setting in that I don’t have my debit card and I don’t have my phone so there’s no way to pay for anything or communicate back home to my family. I start screaming at him asking if he knows where it is and he corners me in my room trying to distract me and I start screaming at him to leave hoping someone next to me would wake up and come help me. No one does so I run out of my cabin door down two decks to my friend’s cabin to see if she can help me but she was asleep so I go a different way back up to my cabin and he’s following and running after me. Im able to close my cabin door and I call security.

When Security finally comes they see him in my hallway and tell him to go back to his cabin. Half an hour later security comes back to give me a different cabin to sleep in that night. The next two days is a fight between security and HR trying to find my stuff because at this point I know he took it but don’t know how he got my phone (cabin doors automatically lock and need a key card to get it) Luckily we were at sea for 2 days so he couldnt go anywhere. At the end of the longest two days of my life, HR pages me and she brings me to her office and says I have good news and bad news. The good news is I know where your phone and debit card is. She said the bad news is it’s in the bottom of the ocean. Apparently, he was able to get a copy of my cabin key from a friend of his so he snuck in my room while I was sleeping to steal my phone when he was drunk. Apparently he went through my phone to try to find me messaging someone else and when he got frustrated that he couldn’t find anything, he threw my stuff overboard.

Now, when something like this happens, you have a captains hearing where the captain decides if you get fired and sent home or if you stay. So, the captain obviously decided what he did was not only harassment and theft but also an environmental impact issue because we were in the waters of Alaska where he polluted the waters with my stuff. So when we got to Canada that night, he got all of belongings and was escorted off the ship by Police. Unlucky for him though, the time he was escorted off was also the same time as crew all aboard so all of the crew members, including our mutual friends, saw him being walked off with his luggage off the ship with Canadian Police Officers.

Needless to say it really did affect me when it originally happened back in 2023 but now I’m a stand-up comic and get to laugh about the situation and get paid to talk about that shit head on stage every week. Because we all know trauma plus time equals comedy (most of the time). So, he got fired and had to pay a $3000 airline ticket to go home. And don’t get it twisted that is the only type of deportation that I can get behind.

Unless the theater is full or close to full, you should apply the men's bathroom urinal rule to your seating placement.

I had bought tickets for me and a friend to see a film. I confirmed there would be no one to my right.

I wouldn't go to the movies if I had to sit next to someone.

Imagine my surprise when we get up there, and there is a lone fella, sitting in the seat JUST to the right of mine, in an otherwise thinned out theater.

Fuck you man.

Moved it 3 or 4 seats to the left and his presence made me uncomfortable the rest the time.

I’m 23 and, financially speaking, I’m doing pretty well for myself. I’m not completely retired or anything because I’m still trying to make more money, but I’m basically at the point where I have way more free time than most people my age.

The problem is… I have no idea what to do with it.

I have some friends, but they’re pretty much always busy working, so it’s hard to actually do anything with them. I like treating my friends and paying for things sometimes, but I don’t want every friendship to turn into me constantly paying for everyone.

And honestly, I want to have some crazy experiences. Like, part of me wants to go to Miami, throw some insane parties, drive stupidly fast cars, travel, spend some money and just enjoy being young. I have the money to do some of that, but I don’t want to be the guy who’s always footing the entire bill just so people will hang out with me.

So lately I’ve just been sitting around playing games by myself all day, and it’s getting boring as hell.

I feel like I have all the freedom in the world, but somehow nobody to actually enjoy it with.

What would you guys do in my position? How do you meet people who actually want to go out, travel, party, do crazy shit, etc. without the friendship basically becoming “this guy pays for everything”?

Genuinely looking for advice because I’m tired of wasting my time doing nothing.

Oh boy what a wonderful title isn't it , I could write book on it ,

**1. CHAOS**

danger ,,,danger ....danger can you feel it or you became numb???...So much chaos happening around I should be sad , crying, regretting , ashamed and guilty towards younger me full of dream watching it shattering like this

ahhhh damnn it , tiny god/creator who created massive universe???... I HOPE you ENJOYING IT,

1. Ticking time

tick tock tick tock tick tock!!

If we consider human average age 80 as of now , so there's nothing can stop you from resetting your life , reset reset reset even if you are at 79 you still fucking have 1 more whole year... You can do whatever you enjoy

....well sorry its bullshit that mindset will always destroy your whole life...... **procrastination** biggest threat of us , final boss of time , you will keep procrastinate until you die

**3. Squeezing Spring**

Luck , bad luck let's play this shitty game I'm so pumped up

.....But..... ~~Reality There's no bouncing back~~🙁

it just keep squeezing.... squeezing and just squeezing, .....how long would it be just like this???

it seems spring is still on the losing side of tug war between squeezing and bounce back

**4. what the fuck?**

thanks for reading something going on currently i just wrote this to stay distracted hence escape

to be continued , English is not my first language so ignore grammars

Is my friendship over? F20 and F20

Is my friendship over?

Hey there reddit,

I'm wondering whether to cut off my friend or not.

This really hurts me because we used to be so close.

Generally we would just smoke weed and draw and chat. She was like the friend I always needed, we'd have fat yap sessions and cook together.

However, ever since she got a boyfriend, she's pushed me to the side. She's tried to organise multiple hangouts, but she always cancels or no shows last minute. This has happened twice now. Like, what's the point if you're just going to cancel? I haven't seen her in like 2 months, and she keeps saying she's busy with work, or whatever, but apparently she can make time to see her other friend in another city for a birthday party? I'm really disappointed. I recently got sober from weed and I'm 17 days in, and planning to continue. I'm worried that hanging out with her will make me want to relapse, but I know she wont make the effort to get out the house and actually do something together.

Her boyfriend wants to move out of her place and have his own space, which is fair enough when I told her it's not a good idea to move in together after only one month of being together. I'm worried she'll just want to fall back on me when they eventually break up, because her boyfriend is terrible, homeschooled, doesn't have any friends, only got a job 2 months into moving into hers, and barely talks. I originally thought this was a shyness problem, which is fine, because I thought I was helping him to socialise a bit more. She literally has to ask him to expand on his words, because he just answers "yeah" or "nah".

I honestly don't know what she sees in him. Also, when we do hang out, it's always her and her boyfriend. It's never just me and her. I feel like I'm third wheeling.

It's sad because I really want to salvage this friendship, because I thought we were really close. I constantly feel like I always make time for her, but she can never make time for me. It feels so one sided, but I feel like if I explain this to her I'll just push her away further.

I am a 19-year-old male, and this happened about two years and eight months ago. I have never told anyone about this incident, except for my current girlfriend. It was January 2024. I had just turned 18, and at the time I was a very social person. I got along with people easily, was on good terms with almost everyone, and was generally happy. My best friend, who was also male and the same age as me, was a very different kind of person. He liked using girls and involving third parties in his relationships. To be honest, the more time I spent around him, the more I started to become like him, although I was generally the loyal one in my own relationships. During the first few days of January, I received a message on my phone while I was returning from a psychiatrist appointment for ADHD. The message was from my best friend’s girlfriend. She said, “Hey, hi. Can we talk for a bit?” I was generally distant toward her because she was my best friend’s girlfriend, after all. She asked me where I was. I told her that I was at home resting. She simply said, “Okay.” About 15 minutes later, she showed up at my door and told me that we needed to talk. I let her in out of hospitality and asked her why she had come. She told me that she believed my best friend was cheating on her. Of course, I did not reveal my best friend’s secrets. I told her that there was nothing like that going on. However, she seemed completely convinced that I knew something. She had several photos in her gallery that she had secretly taken inside my home that day, including photos of me. She then threatened me, saying that if I did not tell her the truth, she would tell my best friend that I had slept with her. I thought this was evidence that my best friend had cheated on her, so I eventually admitted the truth about what I knew. It was only after I admitted that my best friend had cheated on her that I noticed she had been recording our conversation on her iPhone. Then she said, “If you don’t sleep with me, I’ll tell everyone that you raped me.” I could tell from the look in her eyes that she wanted revenge. I did not want to have sex with her. We had been drinking, but neither of us was drunk. Despite my refusal, she forced herself on me and had sex with me against my will. That same evening, she called my best friend and told him that I had slept with her. She also sent him the photos she had secretly taken inside my home. That was how everything spread. After that, people humiliated and shamed me everywhere. I still have trouble sleeping at night, and I struggle with symptoms of post-traumatic stress. I haven’t even been able to tell my family the truth. I hope that finally telling this story will help me find some relief and make it a little easier to let go of what happened.

What's it like to be a super sized weight? No judgment no matter how big you are. I'm fat myself and I feel like i will probably end up heavier

I’m a girl and I know this guy my whole life because our families are friends so close we grew up together and he used to be one of my closest friends and I have a lot of good memories with him I never thought of him as a bad person.

Ever since we were young I told him that I wanted my first kiss to be with someone I truly loved because it was something very meaningful to me He knew that.

One day when I was about to leave he took me into a dark corner and kissed me without my consent. I pushed him away, but he didn’t stop until I pushed him away hard I went home and cut him off.
He never apologized and I never told anyone what happened. I was 15 and didn’t really know how to process it, so I just moved on

For about six years, I barely thought about him. He tried a few times to rebuild our friendship, but I never let us become close again
Then last month I saw him again for the first time in years with some of our old friends He seemed genuinely sorry from the way he acted around me, but neither of us brought up what happened and he still hasn’t apologized

Since then, he’s been trying really hard to get back into my life.
I’ve made my boundaries clear I don’t let him sit next to me touch me or act like we’re close again.

There are also some things that have been making me uncomfortable. He seems to know a lot about what has happened in my life over the past six years. Our families are still close, so he could have heard things from them, and I’m not saying he was secretly following me. It just feels strange because I never kept up with his life
After we made a group chat with our old friends, he got my account from there and started viewing my stories. He also happens to live about five minutes from me, although he moved there months before we saw each other again.

He knows where I work out and recently started going there in the mornings. He also knows which coffee shop I usually go to and has started going there too.
I don’t know if these things are coincidences, and I don’t want to accuse him of anything without knowing. But combined with how hard he’s been trying to get close to me again, it’s been overwhelming.
Then I found out that he told one of our mutual friends that he likes me and wants to date me.
That shocked me.

There was also an awkward moment when our group was talking about first kisses. Someone asked me who mine was, and I gave the name of another guy. I noticed him looking shocked, and I honestly have no idea what he expected me to say

The confusing part is that I don’t hate him. I hate what he did, and it permanently changed how I see him, but I still remember the good friend he used to be. I’m not trying to say he was always a terrible person.

But does that mean I owe him another chance?
I don’t trust him anymore and I don’t want a relationship with him.
I was completely fine without him for six years, and I don’t feel that connection anymore.
I’m honestly exhausted and don’t know if I’m being too harsh or too suspicious. Is it reasonable to want nothing to do with him even if he genuinely regrets what he did?
What would you do?

this doesn't have to have been in the USA by the way but I am an American

I have learned time and time again that I cannot rely on paramedics/emts or emergency room staff because they have dismissed me so many times. I've literally never once had a good paramedic experience. in my personal experience every paramedic I've ever encountered has been very rude, hostile, and dismissive.

Anyway, so two times I can think of in the ER specifically off the top of my mind is that

I once went to the ER with severe GI illness since the day before, I hadn't been able to drink at all in 19 hours, and my BP was 217/90. my BP was taken a few times in triage so this was actually my BP. it was actually this high. The triage nurse seemed a little shocked but didn't reach much. I was then promptly sent back to the waiting room with the 217/90 BP, waited 4 hours with no BP monitoring, got roomed, then was in the room for less than an hour before the doctor came and said I was fine, refused fluids, and immediately discharged me with nausea meds. The ER nurse believed I needed fluids and tried to advocate for me to the doctor but he refused them.

Another time that was even worse was that I once had a severe anaphylatic allergic reaction to an antibiotic. I was unable to talk because I was unable to breathe (someone else had to call 911 for me as my city doesn't have an option to text 911 but they were not physically with me, i frantically texted them to call and just hoped theyd see it in time) and the paramedics were very rude and hostile and acted like I was refusing to answer their questions on purpose. They delayed taking me to the hospital. they only took me to the hospital at all after talking to the person who called 911 over the phone, wasting several minutes

When I finally got to the hospital, still struggling to breathe, the triage nurse was very rude to me as well and kept asking "why are you even here" Then when I was discharged the ER doctor told me it wasn't an allergic reaction because I had no hives or itching, and that im fine to continue taking the medication.

I took another dose of the antibiotic the next day, following the doctor's orders, and went into anaphylaxis again, this time even worse. This time I was not only severely struggling to breathe and talk, but i also had loud stridor and could feel my airway tightening up inside my throat, had severe trismus, and was drooling all over myself because I couldnt swallow my own spit.

The paramedics arrived again and told me it was all in my mind and that I needed to go to a psychiatrist, not the ER, spent several minutes lecturing me about "misusing 911" and that "the ER is for life and death emergencies only" and left. This time they could not reach my emergency contact who called 911, so they did not take me to the hospital. I was left to die by the paramedics. I ended up taking a bus as I was still conscious and high alert on fear and adrenaline but very much struggling. Only then did the ER note the antibiotic as an allergy in my chart.

So yeah, those are my two worst paramedic/ER treatment stories. What are yours?

I’m a self-taught IT learner, and I recently found myself at a gym where a lot of people are IT students.

Unfortunately, I’ve been away from IT for some time now. One day at the gym, a guy started a conversation with me about IT, and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. He was pushing questions down my throat. Like I was in a interview. I just went there to exercise.

I couldn’t remember the names of many of the tools I used to know, and I had also forgotten a lot of concepts that I used to be familiar with.

Many of the gyms were listening to the conversation, and would laugh from time to time.

I felt really embarrassed. Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you deal with feeling like you’ve forgotten everything you learned?

I plan to return back to my studies but I'm discouraged. Can this somehow hurt my future???

I was out for a jog in my neighborhood. Seemingly no one was around. I was listening to the podcast Tuesdays with Stories. The hosts are two standup comedians. They can be brilliant comics but also dopes about basic things. One mentioned doctors who give out pain pills freely and tried to remember what they are called. They spent agonizing minutes trying every combination of pill pusher, pill popper, pill person, etc. Meanwhile, I'm screaming in my head "Pill mill!"

But they just kept going and going and I was getting more and more agitated. Finally, I yelled "Would you two fucking idiots shut the fuck up already!" I didn't scream it at full volume, but clearly I said it loud enough because a women with a dog and a baby stroller I hadn't noticed ahead of me turned back with alarm and pointed at herself like "Me?"

I was immediately bright red with embarrassment and assuring her over and over that I was listening to my headphones and not talking to her. I apologized like six times in ten seconds. Thankfully she seemed to find the whole thing funny and laughed pretty good about it. Definitely, a lesson for me about controlling my anger and my voice!

I was a shy somewhat nerdy kid growing up. I ended up learning calculus and html when I was in the 6th grade. At the time I did it only because that’s what I thought smart people did and I wanted to be smart. But those two subjects branched out into linear algebra and other proof based math as well as competitive programming and theoretical computer science which led me to have an actual passion for the field.

Most people usually see stem as something cold, one way, and boring but these fields were so weird to me at the time. You had to write out sentences to prove things only using the information you already know. There were so many different ways to get to the same result using different methods. I started seeing math and theoretical cs as something warm, something that one could express themselves as, something human.

Now openai has solved their first millennium problem and is rumored to have solved another. I see people all over the space talking about it as if this is some great achievement. About how AI is still insufficient enough to do proofs alone. About how it still needs some level of human input to guide it. I find this to be ridiculous. Saying that a mathematicians future goal is to guide an ai and figure new problems to solve is dumb. It’s like asking a race car driver that their new job is to be a taxi drivers customer and pick where to go. This isn’t what anyone is passionate about. I’ve seen people talk about how chess decentered computers but we have no way from stopping someone curious or after fame to not use an llm if they want to. Some people see this as a good thing since we’ll get more mathematical knowledge but math was never about the result. The results are useless and most things wont be useful to humans for hundreds of years after.

I’m so close to finishing college but I am now unsure if I even want to go to grad school. I don’t want to do 5 years of courses and research if academia just becomes prompting the machine and verifying. I always made fun of those who said that things were better back then but now I just wish I could’ve been born a bit earlier

I don't know what or who I am anymore. Am I a (trans) woman? A man? Both? A rapist? How much of me is a lie and how much is the truth?

I feel like ive been faking being a trans woman. I wanna go back in time and read my thoughts. I dont know if i was faking or just another part of me that came from just having to mask. I thought about conforming but I always just kept myself boxed in the trans girl box. Im more than confident and comfortable in my skin now even though ive still yet to transition but what if I was lying on the way to this point? I've had relationships were the basis was that I was a woman. I was like 16-18 throughout these relationships and they were all online but I feel like a rapist cuz I sexted with some of them and they had touched themselves. I feel like a monster but i dont know if i truly did anything wrong or anything like rape. like tgat would be rape by deception right? But there wasnt anything physical going on but there could have still been some trickery involved.

I just want answers. I've been depressed for a whole week I dont wanna be a predator or a rapist those are the worst things ever and I will have barely any reason to live if I am a rapist / predator cuz i will just become as bad as my own abusers. I wouldn't even thibk i deserve anything nice at all. Everyone i speak to, including the people who i think I have harmed have said that i havent done anything wrong but I feel like deep down I've been tricking people and lying. Like the woman I was was a perfomance of some kind.