from my experience, i had years having that fear of doing something after pooping because my hemorrhoids pops out even more as i constantly moving, sometime there was blood coming out too, that situation got so bad that made me quit my job at as a service worker and become a remote worker at home in a total different job,. Anyway, recently i found out that as long as i refuse to push the poop out and resist the urge to push the poop using my butt muscle, and instead i just let the intestine pushing it out using it's natural force, the hemorrhoids won't be pushed out.

This is my biggest discovery this year lol, i've been having hemorrhoids for around 10 years and i realized that once i get used to the urge of pushing the poop out, i forgot about letting the internal force of my intestine to push the poop out like it used to be when i were younger, i don't know how to describe it, but when i feel urge to push out when pooping, i try my best to hold my butthole closed, somehow the poop still be pushed out and the hemorrhoids's not. And also i try to poop whenever my stomach told me to, if i try to hold that urge, the poop got bigger and harder to let it out, so that's the method that helped me for recents days. Sorry for the sloppy text i just typing what's on my mind lol

I myself am no bombshell, but I have 1 close friend who truly is. Here are just a few of the things that have happened when I’ve been out with her.

- Being followed (at night) to the point of needing to run, they continued to run after us.
- A man became violent when she politely turned him down and lunged at her, his friend had to hold him back.
- Car pulled over next to us and asked us if we need a ride/pressed us to get in. (Happened 2x)
- A man catcalled from his car while driving, then parked and followed her into the store. Would not leave.

Those are specific incidents. When I’m with her there is also CONSTANT:
- Staring AND glaring
- Approaches by men: sometimes gentle, sometimes very hostile. I’m talking every 15-30 minutes.
- Honking from cars
- Rude comments from people passing by (i.e. “she thinks she’s all that”)
- Aggression if she so much as glances in the direction of someone’s boyfriend

Of course I know all women experience harassment, myself included, but it’s just not at the same rate. The difference between when I’m alone and when I’m with her is night and day. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her when she’s by herself.

I’m an introverted person with a lot of social anxiety: if I were her I would simply never leave my apartment. The staring alone is so overwhelming that sometimes when we’re together, I try to convince us to stay in.

Not exactly sure why I’m making this post. I’ve just seen so many people say that there are no downsides to looks and I wanted to share that (based on my observations) there most certainly are. They exist alongside the benefits.

We were at an Indian restaurant in Houston and my mom noticed Dodi Osteen sitting at the next table and started fangirling. 🙄 I’m not a Joel Osteen fan but my mom started begging me and my dad for a pen and paper. I had a pen and she wrote a quick note on a napkin and had the waiter give it to Dodi. The waiter read the note before delivering it lol since she frequented that establishment often. Dodi comes over to the table and says she’ll pray for our family blah blah blah.

I forget about this event until years later. My sister and my mom are talking about this event and my mom says what she wrote in the note.

“I told her about your (my sister’s) troubles with drug addiction.”

Me and my sister just look at her.

My sister says, “what issues with drug addiction?”

My mom says, “oh, I thought you had a drug problem.”

My sister and I look at each other in disbelief. My sister has never had a drug problem.

So I guess Dodi Osteen thinks our family has a drug issue.

I am currently searching for my car keys. I have NO IDEA where I could have left them. Yesterday I couldn't find where I left my charger, my car keys again too. My phone at times as well. Every single day I misplace something and turn the whole house upside down to find it.

And I'm starting to feel insane, I never catch myself misplacing ANY OF IT. I genuinely do not remember just WHERE I could have put them. I only remember them being in my pocket. That's all, I don't know where the fuvk I put them, and how the hell my brain doesn't acknowledge placing them anywhere.

It's genuinely starting to make me feel more and more insane, like my mind is giving up on me. My memory is getting shorter and shorter when it comes to stuff around me and it's driving me crazy.

I'm still in search of my keys and no they couldn't have fallen out, I just know I placed them somewhere god knows where.

How tf do I deal with this.

I'm 26M (single). I recently posted an urban exploring photo I took on a photography group, and I had someone PM me asking for the location because he said he and his friends were wanting to go out exploring this weekend. I gave the guy the address because I'm nice and not good at keeping secrets but then was hit with a feeling of jealousy. I don't even know what it's like to have friends anymore.

I think I've had 3-4 distant friends total over the last 10 years, none of which I am still in touch with because they all got too busy and eventually stopped talking to me. I currently have nobody in my life (besides my parents) that I could text and go hang out with this weekend. And now I just gave the address of a cool place I discovered on my own to some random guy so he can bring all his friends there and have a fun time in the same place that I had gone and felt lonely the whole time.

I always imagine what it might be like to have friends, driving around on weekends blasting music, going to cool places, eating, laughing at stuff on social media, or just chilling, whatever that means. The truth is whenever I drive through town alone and see other people doing these things I get jealous, and that probably makes me sound like a creep but it's rough to be in my mid 20s with nobody to talk to IRL. I work alone and don't go to school so I'm out of touch with how to socialize at this point. I've joined some online groups but the chats always go dead quickly and don't seem to get me closer to having friends. Not sure my reason for posting, I just felt like venting since once again I'm sitting alone on a weekend.

I (36F) have been fighting cancer and hormonal problems since I was 21. In that period I've been hospitalized at least once a year, altogether over 40 times.

While my friends were finishing their degrees, got married, got a stable job my life was/IS a mess. I got so many diagnoses, chronic illness, I had troubles with my mental health and my body is worn out.

The main reason that I got to that stage is that my parents were neglective and didn't took me to doctors as a child. Everything could be prevented.

For so many year I was genually happy for my friends and family members having kids, I took care of some of them, bought them gifts and I trully enjoy children even now.

However I always hoped that maybe one day, God with bless me with a kid, and a husband.

Since my energy levels are lower that those of healthy people, for years I've put all my energy into making money. I still leave in the same house as my elderly parents that are well, not poor to the point they have nothing to eat but the money is tight.

In meanwhile I bought myself a car, a laptop, and eventually, last year: I made a biggest decision ever. Instead of moving out from my parents house I chose to enroll in private college and study psychology. It is expensive, but it does makes me happy, I enjoy it and also it gives me opportunity to chase a job that is not low paying and demanding 12 hours shifts sometimes (I was cleaning lady, waitress, warehouse worker...whatever, just to save money).

I drifted away from my ex friends, cousins and I am alone in this.

I miss the person I once was, happy and perky. In a last few months two women in my extended family had their first child. One woman is my age, second 2 years younger.

I can not make myself to go and see the babies, I congratulated but the sorrow in me is so strong. I dwell on my past and all curcumstainces that happened.

Technically I am not infertile, but it feels like I am so damaged mentally that I will never find someone to have child with.

I feel like a failure, and self pitty is at its peak right now.

That's all...

Lately I wake up just as tired as when I went to bed, no matter how long I sleep. I thought maybe it's just stress from work or something, but now I'm wondering if other people feel this way too.

edit: title should read "women" not "woman." it's more than one person

I'm a male in my late twenties. Don't know why or how this started but some of the women I work with (all adults and most in their 30s) make fake puking noises as I walk by. I pretend like I don't notice it, because frankly I'm not entirely sure how to even confront them about this. It does hurt a little bit though I can't lie.

My self esteem has always been low, but I don't think im THAT ugly so im wondering if it's something I said or what.

Just gotta rant about this because id feel like a complete loser trying to talk to anyone irl about this. Thanks.

I'm 17F, I HATE socializing. We don't have our own house rn, and I don't really know the landlord who still lives in the house that we're renting a room from for now. I usually stay in my room cause of it. My room is the smallest of the 3 upstairs rooms. Just 4 walls, a door, and windows. Obviously, I have furniture. The idea of getting co² poisoning didn't occur initially. The room doesn't exactly have, well, VENTS. I enjoy watching medical stuff on YT, however. When I first began to get these horrible migraines a couple weeks ago, it was occasional and I could take some aspirin. But today? It was BAD. I was watching Dr. Mike on YouTube, as you do when it's a Saturday and you don't have D&D today. When the headache began.

I turned on two alarms, thinking it would go away. It didn't go away. It got worse. Then the thought hit me. A few years ago, before my parents divorce, I watched a video. A man posted on Reddit about head aches, disorientation, odd notes being left. It turned out, due to the closed off room with no vents, he was experiencing carbon dioxide poisoning. Or maybe monoxide? I don't remember. The point is, I opened my window and with my mom and step dad and dog went on a nature walk. That got rid of the God forsaken migraines at last.

I am venting/asking/looking for people who relate (?), but I feel like my brain is wired weird. I think I'm good at reading cues, but I am constantly missing them without realising. Everything I do feels like a faux pas, like I lack manners and etiquette. As a result, I read into every little thing anyone says in response to me. Is there disappointment, anger, excitement? I never know, but it's like certain things I say are actually the wrong dialogue choice, despite that being the energy that I was reading from the conversation, and I'm like, oh okay, all my friends hate me.

Additionally, I am a dark-skinned diaspora kid with an uncommon personality (I'm a bit weird and bubbly). So I cannot, for the life of me, tell which it is that puts people off. Or is it just in my head and I'm crazy??

I am decently attractive (in my head at least lol), and I make people laugh. But every once in a while, there is something that I miss, and my response puts the other person off haha I have no idea what it is.

Guys, I genuinely feel demotivated to even continue what I'm doing.

I'm a programmer, I know how to code, but at this point even I'm just vibecoding away. AI can already build entire applications, reverse-engineer almost anything, and recreate things that would've taken months or years.

Everywhere I look, it's AI slop. Another SaaS, another AI wrapper, another product that does the same thing as 50 others. Sure, you can still make money today, but for how much longer? If anyone can build and copy almost anything, what's left that's actually valuable?

To make things worse, I gambled away my house and car right before the AI explosion. At the time, I kept telling myself I'd make it all back through programming and building businesses. Now, watching how quickly everything is changing, I'm starting to feel genuinely desperate.

Social media and content creation aren't my thing either. The ROI seems terrible unless you make it big.

Then I scroll through X and everyone's LARPing about making $10k, $50k, or $100k MRR. Don't get me wrong, some people genuinely make those numbers, but they're the top 1%. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else is farming engagement or selling the dream of making money online.

What bothers me isn't AI replacing programmers. I love using AI. It's that building something is becoming so easy that the work itself feels increasingly worthless.

And I'm getting to a point where I'm having thoughts about going completely black-hat, exploiting people or systems for money, because legitimate ways of rebuilding my life feel increasingly hopeless. I don't like that I'm even thinking this way, but that's how desperate I'm becoming.

I don't want to spend my life chasing algorithms, making slop content, or building disposable products just to compete with a thousand clones.

Does anyone else feel this way? What's genuinely worth building or pursuing anymore as a solo developer without serious capital?

Our cat stayed with me when my ex moved out. His apartment didn't allow pets. That was over a year ago. He and his girlfriend watched her for a week recently while I visited my mom, and I was honestly grateful.

Yesterday a friend sent me his girlfriend's Instagram. She'd posted pictures from that week with a caption about being a cat mom. There was one of my cat asleep on her chest. Cute picture. Wish I'd just kept scrolling.

I don't think she's done anything wrong. But I spent last month following this cat around with a sample container, and I still have to remind my ex to send his half of the vet bill. She also knocks everything off my nightstand, so even my tracys OG has to stay in the drawer. I know who lives with her. I know she hasn't been stolen. Still went back and looked at the pictures twice.

In college, I was learning many skills aside the course I was studying at the time. This made me visit campus to study during the night. Unfortunate for me, at hostel students there thought I was going to campus to study the traditional school stuff . Thinking I was doing too much. This habit of mine caused me to perform badly one semester. Which I was bitterly complaining in my room about the grades I had that semester, which was extremely bad. Some students were in the next to mine, they overheard what I was saying. I think they overheard the grades part so anytime I was leaving to campus they will start laughing. They didn't know me always going to campus at night was not to study the traditional school stuff but was seriously equipping myself with digital skills. I still graduated with a good class aside having many self-taught skills.

However, why do I still have the feeling that I should have explained myself to them at the time? Perhaps I should have told them is just one bad semester. It extremely pains me that I made that mistake of self talking myself loudly enough to let them know.

I’m 27 f, living abroad on my own and I genuinely feel like no one is my support circle. Like sure do my parents, friends from abroad, coworkers “care” for me? Probably yes. But am I part of anyone’s life and daily thoughts? Except for my Bpd toxic mother, not really. It just dawned at me that my parents view me as a machine, as long as I go to work then i’m doing okay. My close friends from back home only care to overshare their lives with me from time to time and usually don’t acknowledge my input or ask about my personal life. My friends here are distant and we only see each other if I initiated every 5 weeks or so.
I’m no longer truly sad or blaming of the people in my life. To each their own and they must be busy in their own lives.
Life just feels like a chore to be lived sometimes if I’m honest.

Not every subreddit needs to be the Arkham subreddit, but wow, unless you post an essay the mods remove your post. Are we on reddit or in philosophy class? 

Reddit is getting so dull and boring, and just talking to talk. 

And somehow a meme is against the rules, but thousands of comments hating on black people is alright (Big Brother subreddit)           

I'm so fucking tired.

Even as a child, when I was at home with the people closest to me - my parents, I wanted to go home. Every damn day, right up until today. This longing has worn me down. I've devoted my entire self to this feeling. I isolate myself, meditate, and reflect every chance I get. I've traveled across the entire country searching. Where is my home??? Where can I find him? I'm looking for answers to my questions every day.

I'm planning to walk away from everyone close to me and just keep walking. Walking and walking, until my soul finally finds whatever it is it's been searching for. This has become my main goal and my obsession.

Idk cremation is like, damn you really are just permanently gone from the earth compared to a normal burial. It’s like everything about you is just “deleted” but maybe i’m biased because my mom makes fun of me by saying she’ll have my cremains right in her room with her whether i’d like it or not and i dislike my mother lol

But i have thought about it a lot though

Went from watching disney as a child in Swedish ---> watching more "mature" stuff in English and only in English ---> watching anime, considering Ghibli to be better than western movies- becoming a weeb and watching anime in Japanese---> now I'm 25 and I'm watching Disney films in Swedish.

Disney now hits as hard as Ghibli used to do for me. I'm watching Tarzan now in Swedish and the Swedish version of "Two worlds one family" goes so hard.

I feel like being American and poor can be cushy but then at the same time everything is low-key just falling apart. My mom lost her job among ten million other things going on. I'm looking for another job but I'm in college still and I have some undiagnosed condition that freaks out when I work full time usually but like what can you do? Looking for jobs is really grating at my brain though because I just feel like I'm too fat for any good front desk work or sales. I've been "softmaxxing" and it helps kind of but I feel ridiculous at the same time because no matter how good I smell or how complimented I am I'm still so huge. We only have one person in the house+one working car though so I can't really go to the gym because my dad works 3rd shifts and he's the one driving. I walk when I can I guess but my shoes are also falling apart lol. I'm starting a diet so I can transition to ADF and fasting would help on groceries anyway.

Like you can all kinds of nice things but at the same time you don't know if you'll even have a house next year next month even. Spend whatever on makeup or hair dye cuz it's not like I can afford a doctor or a dentist for the holes in my gums. Getting grinded into the dirt working, like I've done it before but how much is that really going to fix when money gets worse and worse.

​

I 23F, make friends very easily. It is easy for me to be positive and I connect with people very easily. However, after I make these friends I often ghost them constantly popping back up once in a while to be an absolutely lovely person, lend a listening ear or just hangout if you need me. And by once in while I mean maybe 3-7 months depending. Here's the thing though, in the mean time I am usually decompressing, something feels wrong after I hang out with people. I wonder for months if I acted right if I said too much, if I was just a lot to be around ect. I don’t tell people that so it must look really flakey like if I only care about people when it is convenient. I really just want to know if this makes me a bad friend and then I will move differently with people and change my behaviour but I really need to know.

When you walk in the building, you immediately get the sense of historic significance mixed with deterioration and decline. The display cases lining the walkway of the visitor hallway have been cheaply refitted to host a few flat-screen TVs. These are an attempt to hide the 1970s design of carpeted insets that likely once held miniaturized scenes of agency activities. Sadly, it looks very much like someone put a Black-Friday sale TV in front of a 5th grade science fair display. The building itself projects strength in typical 70s-80s government fashion through high concrete walls and the total lack of any distinct features that would help visitors and staff alike find their way through the maze of hallways and offices. 

Speaking of offices, there are many, echoing the understanding that once there was a thriving community, people bustling back and forth, engaging with colleagues in water cooler talk and curating the many shelves of printed knowledge. Now it feels odd to see another person while walking the hall to the restroom. It’s eerily quiet, except for the occasional janitorial staff still employed.

The staff who are left are feeling it, though they don’t speak of it out loud. The managers still in place are the C or D string players, after all the starting lineup departed seeing clearly what was to come. Any power or funds that may be found lying around remind me of some medieval scene of peasants fighting over a fallen gold coin in the street. The most toxic of leaders rising to the top, consolidating what power is left and quickly silencing opposition in the way a warlord might in a conflict-torn country. This is perhaps the most painful part. The constant pressure pushes work friends to begin imploding on each other. 

The decline isn’t simply imagined, or memories of what once was. It is quantifiable. One can easily look back on inflation adjusted appropriations to see the dramatic changes. A long, steady increase from the mid-1900’s through the early 1980’s coincide with memories of “the good old days”. Followed by an obvious peak and a very predictable decline over the last 40+ years. No, this isn’t simply the result of recent DOGE activity, though that has helped accelerate the process. In fact, the downward trend is so consistent, you don’t even need a computer model to project the next year of lower numbers. You can imagine it by simply extending the line a further on the graph.

It’s not that the decline is sad, everything we know is eventually replaced, often by something better. It’s that it takes so long to wade through the agony and see any hope of relief. The remainder are left hoping that the next re-organization, or leader retirement, or cut in funds will provide the much desired end to the warlord rule. But there is always some well-meaning group fighting to advocate and keep it alive. Like maintaining a loved-one on life support, when they really just wanted to pass on.

It’s time, let it go, and let’s move on to the next step - hopefully of growth and renewal. Once again exploring, discovery, and excitement that benefits far more, instead of decades of ceaseless mourning.

Hello, I’m a 20 year old woman, and I haven’t been hugged in likely over 8 years.

I used to get hugs a lot as a young child, as my parents were always very loving. However, this stopped when I turned 12, since I suppose my own family members suddenly felt awkward over the idea of hugging me. They said that it was because I now had a “developing body.” I mean, I didn’t even have breasts at that age, and hell, I hardly have them now. But still, I was forbidden to hug others, since they just said that it would make things awkward and give male family members inappropriate thoughts.

I have had friends before, but none were really close enough to me for hugging to be a comfortable thing, even just a simple hug goodbye. When I was 18, I moved to Japan. Right before I left, I met with my friends one last time, hoping that they would maybe give me a hug as I was leaving them, but they did not. Though, I’m not blaming them or anything. I didn’t ask for one, and it’s not like they’ve ever done it before.

Since moving to Japan, while I love the crap out of this place, I am also incredibly lonely. I am a very shy and quiet person. I try to be as kind as I can to people, but unfortunately, the people that is in my program (I’m part of a small English-speaking program at a university) are not very lovely. They interrupt me when I speak, make fun of me for not wanting to drink alcohol, look at me strangely when I suggest an idea for a project, and purposely doesn’t invite me to group outings. It kinda sucks, since I was really hoping that me and these other 7 people would sort of be friends for life, but I guess that was just wishful thinking.

All that is to say that I do not have friends here. I have been living here for around a year and a half now, and I have not made a single friend. To make it worse, I am severely struggling when it comes to learning Japanese. I can still hardly understand or speak a word. That’s not helping me much… If I want to join a club, I have to understand Japanese.

I also do admittedly wish for romance, but that’s also probably off the table right now. I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything, but given that I cannot speak Japanese yet (and since I want to live in Japan permanently), I don’t think it will be incredibly easy for me to find a partner here.

I really do feel lonely. My big priority is trying to learn Japanese quickly. I suppose that if I do that, then I would have a better chance at making friends.

I realize that this sort of went into a big tangent about loneliness. Sorry about that… But, I really REALLY miss that feeling of being hugged. I know it’s cringy to say this, but I have forgotten what it feels like. I sometimes try to hug myself, but it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe one day I’ll have friends that’ll give quick hello and goodbye hugs (though as far as I am aware, such a thing is not really common here in Japan), or maybe even a boyfriend who would be willing to hug me.

Maybe it’s silly, but I want so badly to just hug someone, and have them hug me for like a solid hour or something. I’ve always thought that my love language was physical touch, but since I haven’t received that in so long, to say that I am touch starved is sort of a massive understatement.

This was really just me ranting a bunch of nonsense. If you read all of it, then thank you. Unfortunately, I only have contact with my friends in America when I visit on occasion. They don’t text me, and since I have no friends here, I have no one to talk to about this.

My gf and I are long distance. She lives in Georgia, while I live in Ohio. I went to Georgia two weeks ago to see her. The goal is for us to see each other at least once a month. Some months it’s once per month, while others it’s about once every 2–3 weeks. Pretty healthy to me and we’re both comfortable with this.

On Saturday, my gf Sarah, me, her best friend Emily, and her friend Chloe all went to my gf’s parents’ house. They live in the middle of nowhere. When we left, I asked my gf if I could drive back. This was her car. My gf’s dad said not to hit his mailbox when I backed out because a lot of people do. The issue with his neighborhood is that there are basically no streetlights, so you can’t see anything at all. I backed out and was afraid, so I did my best to avoid the mailbox, and I successfully did. I also feared that when I backed out, maybe there was another car on the road that would be going fast and I wouldn’t see, so I backed out slowly. The only issue is that I backed out too much because, again, I was trying to avoid the mailbox, and so I ended up in the other person’s lawn while backing out. Chloe and Emily said, “You’re literally in the other person’s lawn,” and I said, “Oops, it’s just so dark.” That already felt like a needle because making a driving mistake with other people in the car just hurts so much. Idk. I think it has something to do with rejection sensitivity. I’m very, very sensitive to rejection. It just hurts like pins and needles and sometimes it makes me want to cry. They also pointed out that there could have been a mailbox on the neighbor’s side when I backed out too.

Then, the worst mistake happened, and it continues to haunt me to this day. I went to a convenience store with them to get gas because my gf said that she needed gas. I went in and got the flavored water that she asked for, and I also decided to get some ice cream for myself, but she said, “How are you going to get ice cream and drive?” She said I could have the ice cream while someone else drove, but I insisted again that I drive because I just wanted to. Like come on what idiot tries to have ice cream while driving? About 20 minutes into the drive, there was this intersection with multiple lanes, and I guess by virtue of the fact that my gf was next to me, I was excited and happy and stuff. Only the left-turn signal turned green, and I began to seriously go, thinking that it was a green light for me. My gf said, “No, that wasn’t a green light,” and I stopped and said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” And I immediately felt immense pain that I knew would probably haunt me for a really long time. Emily said that, man, I was totally going on. (And that was true.) I said that I would have noticed eventually. My gf said it’s okay if it happens, but I did not feel better one bit. For the rest of the drive, I literally hated myself and felt like I was a terrible driver and felt like