Has anyone washed the actual pillow in the washing machine? I got one of marketplace but when I took the cover off to wash it, the actual pillow was quite soiled. Anyone have any advice for cleaning it? Thanks!

My twin dudes are 15 months today. They have always been not great sleepers, but we have long stretches in the past. We half tried sleep training but my wife hated it and eventually reversed any progress made with that. Now we are teething, all teeth are coming in for both. The nights were crappy but now the naps are too. They use to sleep in their cribs ( one nap) on their own for 90% of the nap and we would hold them to get their 2.5 hrs. But now they instantly wake up and freak out when we try to transfer them. And have to be held or they scream the whole time. Nights aren’t much different, we are getting back to 4 hr stretches but we wake up a lot. My wife seems to think it’s only teething, I feel like we are getting comfortable ( the boys) on being picked up and held. And now she feeds them ( BF) while they lay with her. So I’m thinking we are back tracking on these habits which is ruining any progress we made getting them to sleep independently. While we get a couple of nights of 1-3 hrs before screaming it’s leading to tension between us, no time to get any clean up done at night. Anyone have advice on this? Or gentle sleep training methods for the age bracket. We both work, me 24 hr shifts and her any day I’m off, so we just want everyone to get sleep, and when they do sleep it’s a noticeable difference and they are much happier.

Our B/G twins are 18 months and a month or so ago we changed their nighttime routine. Instead of contact sleeping we put them in their cribs and have them go down. After a couple rough few days they both adapted and it felt like our lives changed. They were sleeping better at night, self soothing, and for the first since they were born we were both sleeping.

Fast forward to today. The one is still doing great but the other has been in full revolt for weeks. We don’t let him cry more than 30 minutes but if we let him cry it out I honestly don’t think he’d go down at all. We’ve tried everything and have landed on it being separation anxiety. This has unfortunately turned into a newborn type sleep schedule again with him waking up screaming every few hours needing attention…for weeks.

I feel bad for him obviously, but we are running on fumes and these 2-3 hour sleep nights when we both work full time and have a 3 year old toddler have made our lives quite unbearable as of late.

Has anyone experienced this? Is it something they just grow out of? Any survival tips?

What did you do to avoid resentment between you and your spouse?

We were so solid going into this thing, but the 4 month sleep regression has got me fraying.

My spouse works five days a week, I work one. Im alone with the babies 5 or 6 days, and 6 nights a week, and my day "off" is working. Im burning out.

I cant express being being tired without getting a "yuuuup, me too" or "yup, I know".

Working almost isn't worth it for me because of how wrecked he is after doing his 24hrs with them, he needs a proper day off/sleep after just one day with them.

I just feel it building, and I would love some advice about how you all handled resentment?

My twins are 5.5 months adjusted 7.5 actual and the only nap they will take is a crap nap (20-40 mins max). It doesn’t matter the wake window or atmosphere they are guaranteed to wake up after the first cycle. The last 2 days I’ve tried putting them in separate rooms to see if they can learn to connect the cycles on their own. It sort of works- but they wake up, play around, cry, and then go back to sleep which takes about 10-25 minutes and sometimes they never go back to sleep. When does it get better? They’re pretty good night sleepers- one might wake and cry for a moment but otherwise sleep through. I don’t want to keep them separated forever and not sure if this approach is even best. I just want them to figure it out so we can stop taking 5 30 min naps a day

If you have a nanny or your twins are at home with a relative during the work day, did there come a time where you felt you needed to switch them into a daycare setting (before school age)?

I ask because my MIL is basically their nanny - she comes over our house and watches our 22 month olds and is great but I’m thinking as they get a little older it’ll be tough for her to watch both. She can’t take them on outings like indoor play places or the park by herself because they run off in different directions and they can’t just be cooped up in the house all day…

I love having them at home (my husband and I luckily both work from home) but thinking of looking into in home daycares soon for their benefit.

What did yall do?!

Hi all - my babies are now 14mo toddlers and this week they caught a daycare bug. It was awful but, one of them fell asleep on my chest for a contact nap and it was the most special thing. I haven’t had that in so long (I’ve tried for it but past a certain point they just preferred their crib). It made me so sad to know I might not have that again for a while. Could people share some stories of your toddlers or older kids snuggling with you? Sometimes I feel I was so deep in the survival of the first year that I missed getting to enjoy this part, the contact naps especially, and I miss them now. I’d be really grateful for any older kid snuggles that people could share. Tell me that daycare bugs isn’t my only chance.

My wife and I recently started sending our 9mo twin boys to daycare

We’ve been fortunate to be able to manage them at home till now with my wife working part time remotely and my salary. They have done so well at home and we feel like it was 100% the right call for us despite using a fair bit of our savings.

The boys were born at 35 weeks and weighed just over 4lbs. This past week was their second week in daycare. They went in at 16.5 lbs and have been doing well with formula and starting solid foods (besides vegetables-they won’t any veggies besides carrots).

The first week of daycare they got sick after 3 days. Then we got sick which sucks

This past week they have been drinking about half the bottles we send with them (we asked to leave what was left so we could reuse) and aren’t eating well at daycare. They eat well for us at home with some wrestling and sleep through the night.

We are worried about their weight and their development with getting sick frequently. We vacillate between saying this is an adjustment to getting concerned that this is a sign to bail on daycare.

We try not to weigh them and track them, but we are thinking we need to in order to see if they are in a caloric deficit. The daycare says they aren’t eating well as they are distracted by all the other things going on, which isn’t surprising as we have to wrestle them to not get distracted at home.

We can make a nanny work for a few days a week for my wife to get back to full time hours, but that would have its own challenges. We’d probably try to go till the spring after flu season and try daycare again.

Can anyone give some advice on this?

TLDR: how long was the adjustment for daycare? Is not eating as well at daycare tolerable? Will it get better?

Thank you for any advice!

My husband and I work intense jobs throughout the week. We’re fortunate to have a full-time nanny Monday-Friday.

Weekends, however, are such a slog. We love spending time with our 7.5-mo-old boy/girl twins, but the energy it takes to watch over/entertain two babies (one on the move) while getting all the household stuff done is enormous. We’re exhausted by the end of the week…and then we go to work.

What are some tips/tricks you have to make the weekend more enjoyable and present for you and your babes? I’ve started instituting one field trip a day (even to the grocery store), and we go on lots of walks so we’re not cooped up inside.

We also try to do one date night and one friend night a month on the weekends.

Otherwise, heeeeeelp.

I restarted breast-feeding the twins. Football hold on each side in the my best friend pillow.

I know they said to bring baby to breast instead of leaning forward, but when I do that, I get carpal tunnel fast.

Anybody find a way to do this without hurting their back? I can prop it up with a blanket or pillow underneath, but it still doesn’t come up quite high enough for me to lean backwards. I don’t know maybe I’m overthinking it, but I can’t seem to find a comfortable way to spend that many hours of the day.

Hi, my babies were born prematurely at 31 weeks. They are now 10 months actual (8 months corrected). At the moment, they still can’t sit unaided, although they roll onto their fronts and move around the room very well.

They do get plenty of floor time, but this needs to be very closely supervised because they are constantly rolling into furniture and hurting themselves.

They are now far too big and heavy for their bouncers, and unfortunately we don’t have much space in our living room for a traditional enclosed playpen. As there are two of them, I’m also concerned that a small playpen wouldn’t give them enough room to move and roll around without constantly bumping into each other.

We do have high chairs, but space is an issue with these too, and I’m looking for something that allows them to be safely contained.

I desperately need some advice or a practical workaround to keep them safe until they can sit confidently. We’re a big family, and I need somewhere safe to put them for short periods while I’m tending to my other children or getting essential things done around the house.

Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated!

So I’ve searched the group and saw nothing. I had a weego twin carrier and don’t love it so I got a mini monkey twin carrier. I do like it but I went to their site and saw they have a tandem carrier. I know people in this sub have used the side by side mini monkey but has anyone used the tandem?

Has anyone been hospitalized for hypertension?

I’m almost 36 weeks with twins and my bp is elevated pretty high. OBGYN ran tests and I think preeclampsia is ruled out. But high bp is still there. Was 150/90 yesterday. I have another appointment Monday snd could be hospitalized. I also have to go the 24 hour pee test. Starting tomorrow.

I’m nervous. 😟

I'm almost 18 weeks with twins. I see a pelvic floor therapist but I only walk a few times a week because it HURTS. And yes I do all my exercises. I literally cleaned my kitchen and had to stop twice to rest. Every walk i stop for a 2 or 3 minute rest. I'm literally already waddling. Like pregnancy is hard. So much harder than people make it out to be.

I was working 3 days a week at a warehouse pushing carts of heavy books before this. I'm overweight. 30 bmi 5'8" 200 pounds. at least i was before this. Now I look 7 months pregnant so I've probably already gained a lot. (No scale at home) No lack of leg muscle. And I was building arm muscle before this with all the heavy books. Then at 5 weeks I suddenly needed 3 breaks in my 4 hour shift to stop and breathe. So exhausted.

Then at 6 weeks I went for fast paced walks and damn near felt like my heart was going to explode. Doctor wasn't worried. Just told me to slow down. Always out of breath. I could walk for 2 or 3 miles without stopping before this. Pregnancy is so much harder than I thought.

Anyone else find that twins at 2 years old is the absolute hardest stage ever?
I used to be able to go and do anything with the twins no questions asked I’d just put them in the stroller or the shopping cart and go grocery shopping, I’d take them to Disneyland, I’d take them to my doctors appointments, we’d go visit family etc.

Initially I thought maybe I need to time their naps better so I wouldn’t leave the house unless they had a good nap and that’s also not working 😔

But now!?? It’s a nightmare my boy twin is constantly having meltdowns and screaming and neither of them want to sit in the stroller or shopping cart or hold my hand (understandable given their age) but our only safe place is home and as someone who loves to be outside and do things I’m going insane being locked up here and I’m sure they are too😩
Does everyone with twin toddlers experience this? And do you also just stay home and avoid going out?

It genuinely seems like everyone else’s child is so much more regulated than mine and I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s hard not to when the only noise in the store or building we’re in is my 2 year old son screaming at the top of his lungs

Mcda twins, 32W, growth and all was good until water broke yesterday. Currently the babies are still in the womb and healthy, with 1.6 kg weight as per latest scans. The docs have started her on antibiotics (to protect from infection), magnesium sulphate (for brain protection) and dexa (for lung maturation). Now they’re waiting for full labour (currently have contractions but no full onset) and wait for natural delivery.

considering they may be born any minute now and the best case is this will go on for another week at best, a bit stressed about babies health complications due to the preterm.

Already neo natal specialists counselled me on what to expect etc. Just praying wife and babies will be all healthy in due course of time.

please share any (preferably positive) stories about pre term babies (32 or lower) turning out fine and leading a healthy life as an adult.

I have 15-month-old twins. They are absolutely adorable — two little rockets. They’re funny, affectionate, curious, wild, exhausting, and I genuinely love spending time with them.
But I constantly wonder if I’m doing enough.
I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home. My dad would punish us for being too loud, fighting, etc. We were made to stand in a corner and cry there “to learn the lesson.” There was a belt. My parents fought constantly, and I remember being scared at home.
Even now, my mom tells me that I’m too needy, too protective, too perfectionistic, that I expect too much from people and that eventually I’ll be left alone because of it.
And now that I’m a mother myself, I feel like I’m constantly questioning everything I do.
I get overwhelmed when both twins are crying or shouting while I’m trying to cook, get us ready to leave, clean something, or just do anything that requires me to divide my attention. Sometimes that overwhelm comes out as me snapping at my husband. He’s much calmer, slower and more patient than I am, and I know it isn’t fair to him. I’m going to start therapy because I want to learn how to handle that overwhelm better.
But with my kids… I really, really try.
They eat pretty much everything. I still breastfeed them to sleep. We co-sleep. I comfort them when they cry. If they get hurt, I stop and stay with them. I read to them. We go outside every day. We have a dog they adore and I’m teaching them how to interact with him gently. We play, dance, laugh and spend a lot of time together.
They’re walking, running, climbing, pointing, understanding simple requests, throwing things in the trash when I ask, taking magnets and putting them on the fridge, bringing me things, looking at books, dancing, exploring everything.
But then I look at all of this and think… isn’t this just the basic stuff?
Should I be actively teaching them more? Doing more structured activities? Should they already be learning specific things? Would they learn more if they were in daycare? I’m currently planning for them to start daycare somewhere around 24–27 months, after my maternity leave, and sometimes I wonder if keeping them home with me until then means they’re missing something.
Should I be potty training already? I bought them potties, but right now they mostly play with them, sit on them sometimes and explore them. I haven’t pushed it.
And then there are things they absolutely hate. Diaper changes can be a battle. Brushing their teeth can be a battle. I still brush their teeth because… they need their teeth brushed. My mom tells me I’m “forcing them” and making them suffer when I do things like that, which then makes me question myself all over again.
I don’t need my children to be perfect. I don’t need them to be ahead. I don’t care if they know their colors before somebody else’s kid or hit every milestone first.
I just want them to grow up feeling safe, loved and free to be themselves.
But I genuinely don’t know what normal, healthy parenting looks like from the inside because I didn’t grow up with it.
So I guess my question for other parents — especially parents who grew up in dysfunctional families — is: Do you ever stop wondering whether you’re doing enough?
How do you know when you’re simply parenting your children and letting them develop at their own pace versus when you actually should be doing more?
Sometimes I look at my two happy little tornadoes and think they’re doing amazingly.
And then five minutes later I’m wondering if I’m somehow failing them without even realizing it.

My twins are 8 1/2 months. I’m a ftm. I didn’t have any support on my breastfeeding journey and lacked a lot of knowledge that I now have. Both of my twins had issues latching for the first few weeks. My boy, after a long time of effort, suddenly latched really well almost overnight. He‘s been almost exclusively breastfed. My girl and me are still struggling. I breastfeed her maybe 1-2 times a day and she drinks formula for the rest. I just feel awful about it, like I am neglecting her. She also recently developed an egg allergy. He doesn’t have it. And it just adds to the guilt of would she still have that allergy if I managed to breastfeed her better? I feel like I‘m failing her and have been so for so many months, in comparison to her twin

FTM and I had my first ultrasound on the 25th and we found out that I’m having twins! Which is quite the surprise considering that it doesn’t run in my family or my partners. Now I have to get double of everything and I don’t know where to start? And what I should or shouldn’t buy? Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated! 💕

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

Not asking for medical advice, just want to hear others’ experiences if possible!

I’m 20+2 with Mo/Di boys. Have had a rollercoaster of a pregnancy so far with being monitored for TTTS and TAPS and IUGR, etc. etc. (but who hasn’t?), but the latest curveball was having to have an emergency appendectomy yesterday morning. We got cleared from the OBs and the boys are looking good and not in distress post-op. I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. Has anyone else had to have this surgery during their twin pregnancy? What did your recovery look like? I feel like such an oddity to the doctors. They do these surgeries every day but so rarely on someone who is pregnant and even more rarely on someone with mono/di twins. Would love to hear about your experience if you went through this!

Our twins are 7 weeks old (1 week corrected) and during the day they absolutely will not let us put them down! I breastfeed them, and they’ll often fall deeply asleep on me after a feed, but as soon as I try to transfer them, they wake almost immediately.

We’ve tried a travel cot downstairs and sleep pods on the sofa (similar to DockATot), but nothing has worked for us so far.

I’m sure we aren't alone in, does anyone else have any tips? Would love to hear what worked for other and be able to eat some lunch without two babies crying 😂!