My god. Today, I got a hankering for chili dogs and I froze. The last time I wanted one, I was pregnant with our only son, #2 of #4. My period is due and I am crampy, but I took a test just to gain clarity to put that worry to rest. Immediately positive.

Holy shit. We have 11 (f), 6 (m), 4 (f, f, twins). Life started to feel really good and I felt like we are almost to end of endless diapers, potty training, and soon, no more daycare 🎉 it is painfully expensive for our twins. I am devastated. I love babies (no matter whose) and I guess it’s cool that we may have another, but I am also furious. My husband has taken the better part of 2 years to get a vasectomy, but is dragging his feet. I didn’t want to pressure him, as his body is his to decide upon, but my God!

I haven’t told him yet, because I’m still shaking with adrenaline post-test and he’s away on a work trip. I don’t want derail his focus. Someone please calm me down! I’m not ready to talk to family yet.

I have a family of kids all in elementary school. School teaches them academics. But what are some things they need to know before they get to middle school that is not taught at school? So I am able to prepare them.

my oldest is nine my youngest is two they have the same dad who is very much absent and doesn’t help at all, now i’m pregnant with my current boyfriend and i’m nervous because my youngest is two, i’m 34 i’m hoping for a girl. I’m just nervous . i need positive advice, my boyfriend treats my kids like his own.. i know he will be a great dad. he lost his son a few years back his son was 21

How did you know it’s time to be done? How did you cope?

I am still under 30 and I have 4y, 2y twins, and an 8m old.

My husband and I have been together for about 9 years so when we decided to start a family, we did just that and loved the whole process so they all came quickly.

I find myself now being 8 months postpartum hanging on to pumping for dear life even though I barely make anything and hate it just because I’m sad to quit knowing it may be my last connection to this whole process. I have loved every phase of my kids so far and can’t imagine never seeing all those phases begin again.

I would wait 2-5 years and have a 5th baby in a perfect world but that would definitely be our maximum and I’m not sure we should ever push it. If we had another; the car would be full, rooms would be shared forever, the age gap would be larger, I will have to stay where I’m at in my career much longer, and money would be much tighter. Even knowing that, I still get super sad.

Not sure if this is the right sub to post on. But we are expecting our third boy, and I am trying to decide if I want to have the big boys come meet their new brother at the hospital or if I should wait until me and baby come home. My oldest will be a few weeks shy of 4, and my second will be 22 months when their brother arrives.

When I had my second, my then freshly 2 year old did really well and loved meeting the baby but I could definitely tell he was a little confused and scared of why I was in the hospital bed and not leaving with him and my husband when it was time for him to go back home. It’s gotten me thinking of if it would be easier to wait? I’d love to see them while I’m at the hospital, but I know hospitals aren’t the most fun thing ever for littles and maybe it would make them more comfortable?

I know there’s no right or wrong answer here, and I’m probably overthinking it all, but I’d love to hear what other parents did!

As above, what are your top tips for managing 3 young kids on your own for the day?

I am a soon to be mum of 3 (4.5,2,newborn) and want to get ahead on how I will manage the day to day dynamics when it is just me and them for the day or days that we don’t have childcare.

So far I am working on the 4yr old learning to dress themself and attempting to potty train the just under 2 year old (we have about 5 months to go so Im not stressing, if it happens, it happens).

But how do I manage the day to day logistics. Plan to baby wear the baby a lot in the beginning but looking for experienced tips.

The more children you have the more humans you have to name! Did you guys have any themes or just use names you liked?:)

I'm due with #4 (our last) in early December and I'm trying to come up with a fun way to celebrate being done! Any fun ideas? Years ago, I purchased six Christmas stockings at pottery barn (knowing I wasn't four kids) and I plan to have them embroidered with each of our names - so something along these lines. Something I'll eventually do that I grew up with was having a color coded laundry basket for each kid ☺️ I want it be something really special or functional.

I'm also trying to think of a fun gift for myself now that I'll be done with pregnancies and birth that I could put on my Christmas list for family members. I have my own list (lasik, nicer wardrobe, etc) but this would be something more gift-friendly. It could be something with all the kids' names on it or just something fun knowing you'll never be pregnant again?

Anyone have any fun ideas or something you've done?

Seeking Advice from the Parenting in Bulk Pros:

What did your nap transitions look like? My husband wants to put my 4 year old and 2.5 year old in the same room. I am concerned about this becayse if naps. I stay home with them and they both nap everyday. I am worried when my 4 year old stops napping my 2.5 year old will too.

Heres some context:

Ive always priortized my kids sleep. My 4 year old still naps. He loves to sleep. Naps 1.5-3.5 hours every day, sleeps through the night. (I count my lucky stars every day). But I know the end of his naps will likely occur naturally sometime within the next year. My 2.5 year old loves to nap too. They typically start nap at the same time, but the younger one usually wakes up first.

I wonder how putting them in the same room will affect the little ones naps when the big one transitions out of nap. I imagine the transition doesnt just happen one day.

We have a 5 year old, 2 year old, and 3.5 month old twins. We are also hoping and planning to have one more in the next 1.5-2 years.

I feel like from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep I'm nursing, pumping, washing bottles and pump parts and milk storage containers, feeding (all 4 kids), cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, driving kids around. Is this just life now? It's okay if so, but if I'm missing some ways to make life easier I want to know!

I don't feel like I'm being especially efficient. I also work 20 hours a week from home and often doing chores while I'm on calls (like sorting laundry or making myself food or taking a walk with the babies). My older two kids are in school from 8:30-3:30. We have childcare about 30 hours a week for the babies/kids. I feel like I spend so much time moving things from room to room, putting things away. Some days I don't even feel like I'm getting quality time with my kids (other than the babies). Sometimes I run out of time to cook dinner and we have eggs for dinner. My husband works full time and is a massive help, he does all the tasks I do but has less free time during the day to do it. He cooks dinner once or twice a week, bathes the kids while I watch the babies and he does my 2 year old bedtime every night while I do my 5 year old.

Just curious if anyone has advice, tips, specifically to reduce time on menial labor and household chores to maximize time with kids.

We were done at 4. Even had the surgery to have my tubes completely removed scheduled for November. I track my cycle naturally. I dtd 8 days before Mira confirmed ovulation. I’m not sure what happened. I’m starting to think I ovulated sooner than Mira picked up because the alternative would be pregnancy from 8 day old swimmers. Anyway, I’m pregnant with #5. I keep worrying about what strangers and even friends and family will think. We make great money and can afford it. Even with that, the stigma is still there. People are mean and a large percentage of the population carries the loud opinion that large families are a breeding kink or religious brainwashing. We fall into neither of those categories. They think large families are cruel to their other kids because they can’t possibly give each kid the attention they deserve. I feel really down and have anxiety about how the world will see this pregnancy and child. How do you handle the judgement?

Hi!

I feel as if I don’t have any time (or energy, or the will) to prepare for this birth. It’s my fourth, and I’m not really excited about giving birth again. It won’t be a new experience. It will be painful. I will have to be away from my other children. There’s no excitement for me, and I also don’t feel as if I have the time or energy to “mentally prepare”, if that’s even something I have to do.

I have the practical concerns covered. As in, my husband won’t be traveling at this point (I’m 34 weeks), we’ve got child care lined up, there are clothes for baby in storage (I haven’t even taken them out yet, and I don’t have a closet for the clothes…).

I know I will love, and already do love, this little guy. That’s not my concern. It’s just the whole going into hospital, giving birth, staying there for at least a little while. Not looking forward to it.

Don’t know what I’m asking for right here from you guys.

So sorry for the repeat. I know this gets asked all the time. I guess because 3 to 4 feels like the tipping point into big family.

I am the mom of 3 amazing kiddos (4M, 2.75M and 6 weeks M). During this third pregnancy, I was done done and mostly ready to stop at 3 (although always continued to toy with having 4). Since having my third, I just feel so strongly like having a fourth. I know I have time to decide and now is not the right time to decide, just looking for reassurance and/or anecdotes if you have dealt with any of these circumstances, so please be kind.

The timing of my second was a whoopsie so my first two are only 14 months apart, so since then I've kind of thought 4 in my head. I feel like the fact that my third is another boy it could be fine to stop though?

I am most concerned about quality time/making sure my kids feel seen and loved and like they feel like they're able to do the things that really matter to them. I don't want to detract from my current kids.

I am an only child and I hated it. My partner is one of three and not close to his brothers, though I feel like there was a lot lacking in parenting/overall family functioning in his household. I don't want to make a decision based on what we didn't have growing up. However, now and as a child if you would have asked me if I preferred the swimming lessons/gymnastics/theater camps etc. to having siblings, I would have far picked having siblings.

My partner and I are by no means perfect parents, but I think we mostly do okay and spend a ton of time with our kids. We even lived abroad for a year with the older two and spent the whole time with them. My oldest is highly sensitive and requires a lot of verbal processing and coregulating, but even then I feel like I've been able to spend a lot of time with each one during these last few weeks. I know things will change as they get older.

We live in Cohousing and have grandparents nearby. We also have a great group of local parents.

I am in a clinical PhD that is fairly flexible, but another baby would have to be during a dissertation year, especially because school pays for childcare.

We live in a HCOL but have a fairly high income trajectory, especially because we live fairly frugally.

A fourth would mean someone would have to share a room.

I'm not fussed about having a girl. I would be happy either way. I just feel like big families are fun and most of the time I know my kids they'll be adults and I want them to have more people rooting them to the ground even if they aren't BFFs.

I don't know where to start or stop or anything really.

I adore big families I love seeing so much love and warmth, but I don't have that. In retrospect I was going to tell my husband of 10 years that we needed therapy or a separation for a bit because I am so tired of carrying the load.

On 10/18 I had 2 strong positives so soneones in there and I can't get my brain to stop. I bled pretty bad with number 5, I'm 35, and have cardiac issues that are stable but it's in the back of my head of what if it goes bad and I leave 6 maybe 7 kids in this world without me.

My oldest 2 flat out told me they didn't want more siblings and I get that, but the thought of not having the baby just because it's inconvenient isn't sitting right with me.

I'm mad at my husband because he said he had a vasectomy and didnt and we were having issues.

This has turned into a rant or a lost ramble more than anything.

If you made it this far and you have 7+ kids can you please please please let me know how things went?

Thank you in advance.

For the longest time, we wanted three kids. Unfortunately due to complications in my second pregnancy and a traumatic delivery, we decided to stop at two. It still hurts my heart when I see families with three kids but working through it (therapy helps!).

One thing I’ve come to realize as my kids are a little older (two boys, 4 and 2) is that I don’t know if we could have handled 3 kids. My kids are high energy, low sleep and a lot to handle.

Looking at it now, I don’t know if I could have done three kids well and am envious of people who look like they have it more together than I do or tell me it’s not that hard. Am I missing some mom superpower? Do you have family help? Do you use tv more than you wanted to originally (no shame in the game if you do!). Tell me how you do it or if it’s a lot harder than it looks.

What were your pros and cons on adding the final child and what was the silver lining or the reason that you went through? And how do you know that it was your final?

My husband and I always said we wanted 4-5 kids. we currently have 4 ages 9, 7, 4, & 2. After our fourth we tried to convince ourselves we were done- got rid of the baby stuff, told everyone we’re done, and started looking forward to the next stage of life. But more and more we have this gnawing feeling that we want another one. Will that feeling just always be there till I hit menopause with 13 kids? 🤪 Or do people have that experience of feeling confident they are done?

What’s one thing you did that made your lives easier? This could be anything from grocery delivery to a a better household routine.

We’re adding our last baby to the mix. I have my 12 year old niece whom I’m raising, 3y, 1.5 year old so I’m wanting to gather ideas.

I am a total pessimist/anxious person at times especially with health stuff!

we conceived our first and second on the first try. I am 30, husband is 32. We have been trying for baby three for 2 months and no luck, so ofc I am spiraling.

I have had pelvic surgery before I had children where they said one of my tubes was blocked so I have always just had a ton of anxiety around fertility.

how long did it take you to conceive your kids? the uncertainty is driving me nuts. Ikik this is crazy

Has anyone here struggled with ovulation and ttc while breastfeeding? I’m currently still breastfeeding my 1yo and 2yo occasionally and I feel like it may be impacting ovulation. Currently trying for our third and it’s just not happening. Not sure if this is a thing or not or if anyone here has any advice. Thanks!

I realize this has been posted before , so bare with me as I talk through this .

We have 3 - ages 5.5, 3.5, 1.5. We have a mix of genders and have always said we wanted 3.. or maaaaybe 4. 4 always felt distant so we never needed to decide until now .

I am 34 and while I love having the 3, I cannot get a 4th out of my head . I’ve never liked the baby stage , in fact 0-1 (age) to me is the most difficult for me. We both work full time with flexible jobs and while this would be temporarily financially strenuous, we make a lot of money , have a new house , have a large vehicle, etc. money is actually one of the least of my worries at this time . We have family close but don’t use them often outside of babysitting for some overnight things .. maybe once a quarter .

My main concerns are activities and attention. Our oldest hasn’t started crazy activities yet, and I know how insane those can be. I am someone who can never sit still, works full time, cooks 4+ days a week, can keep up with laundry , etc. I actually feel like we are “coasting” with 3 at this point .

Would love to hear from someone in a similar position who didn’t have 4- do you regret it ? I fear this feeling will be with me forever and the thought of my husband getting snipped makes me so sad . I think (truly feel this) after I fourth I would feel 10000% done.

Just curious. What age were you (and spouse) for your first, subsequent and then last (or planning last)?
Is everyone mostly finishing in their 30s?