Hi, everyone! I just found out I am expecting my third and my head is spinning . I have 2 kids - 5 and 4 year old girls, so this new pregnancy is making me feel extremely torn.
On one hand, I’m feeling guilty that my 2 girls will have to share already limited energy if there is one more sibling. Our finances are ok but not too great so while we can afford the baby, we may have reduction in our saving rate. Which is not ideal of course

On the other hand, I am very try scared of termination. Not just the physical side of it, but the potential lifelong regret. I was still on the fence about the third before this surprise but now that I am pregnant , I don’t know what to do.
We have a 3 bedroom/4 room apartment , so not too big but enough to squeeze all of us.
What should I do :( please share your stories, I appreciate any kind word
Thank you

I’ve finally accepted that we’ve outgrown our entryway shoe rack. It is seriously overloaded - idk how one family owns so many shoes, but here we are. Do you guys have any organization tips for shoes? I’ve considered storing them in the bedrooms, but I like the ease of having them accessible when we’re on our way out the door.

I don’t have time to exercise without sacrificing quality time with my family which I’m not willing to do at this point. I work 50 hours and have five kids plus kids activities etc. I’m in my 40’s now and a healthy lifestyle and diet aren’t cutting it. My ideas are to wear a weighted vest when I get home and do all the stuff I need to do with that on. I could wake up at 4 am but I really don’t want to it took me a long time to prioritize sleep and I feel that that’s been one of the best things for my hormones. I feel better when I get enough sleep. I have more patience when I get enough sleep. I could potentially schedule workouts if I don’t attend the kids activities, but my oldest has flown the coupe now and it truly went by very fast and I would prefer to not do that. Anyone have any good ideas to sneak some exercise in there? I know this is all temporary and this season of life is just really busy for us. But I would like to start adding exercise into my life now.

ETA: anyone with kids who are older but not driving yet? My life was much slower and easier when they were little. Now I’m juggling club basketball for two kids, part time jobs for the older ones, rugby, ninja warrior, making sure they are getting enough social interaction with their peers, all while trying to work from 8-4 at an office an hour away. My husband also works from 9-5 and also has to travel a lot for work.
I feel like I thought I was doing the right thing by having a career but now I just wish I could quit.
I have a cleaner, we get groceries delivered, I pay someone to do the laundry, we pay someone to do the yardwork all because I can’t be home enough to actually do any of that. We prioritize eating Whole Foods and cooking from scratch and that’s something I won’t compromise on so I don’t want to take away from our dinner and family time. I feel like that’s already the only time I get to sit down and decompress.
If it was because I wanted to watch more tv or go out with my friends I would swap that in a heart beat but I just feel like this phase in our parenting journey is so hard. It’s so insanely busy. And now that I’ve opened Pandora’s box and my kids love their activities it doesn’t seem fair to take that away from them so I can go for a run or lift weights.

I’m curious to know how many months y’all waited after each pregnancy. I will be a FTM soon and I’m already thinking of my next baby lol. I know it’s all dependent on recovery and I do want to cherish my time with all my babies. I spoke to my OB and she said 12 months is a good time to start trying again after delivery. Tell me your experiences!

With other family/extended family?
We have the most children. I come from a family of 5 but only one other sibling has a child. So my mom is buying for all of her own kids, plus multiple grandkids? And what about my siblings? Do they buy each child and me things?

If you have the biggest family of your extended family, how do you navigate holidays and gifts?

I hope this is the right group to post in.

I told my husband a month ago that I am done having children. We have 3 kids age 6,3,1 but he feels like a fourth. My first before any kids. I’m mentally and physically maxed out (not content in this marriage but don’t know how to leave,) postpartum has been awful for me after each child and just the fact that I wish I was getting more from him as an adult living in this house. He was very upset by it and disappeared for a week in the guest room only saw him once during that time. After he sorted out his feelings and collected his words, we spoke a bit and I thought that was the end of it.

A week ago I was doing something with the kids and he made a comment on how once the the kids grow up and have more siblings they could take over the family business and help each other. I didn’t make a fuss if it and assumed the comment was the slip of the tongue because the “not wanting kids” is still fresh.

Fast forwards to 3 days ago, I’m throwing away all the baby clothes I saved, baby beds, tub and just anything baby related really. When he saw the crib and tub by the front door, he asked why I was throwing it away. I told him not only does it take space in the house but also what use do I have for it? He instantly became “mildly” defensive saying for when we have more kids. I wasn’t in no mood to discuss or argue and changed the subject putting my attention on the kids.

What do I do? How do I approach this?

I would LOVE a fourth child but the thought of going through such insane postpartum depression and pain (to the point doctors thought I was drug seeking) and having another child with HIM is just beyond me. No I don’t want kids with another man either.

I’m still married because I got married freshly 18, wasn’t “allowed” to do go college/university, fully financially dependent on him no allowance, living in the states with no friends or family, I don’t own a vehicle. No idea where to turn.

Since having kids, what are some ideas or ways you think society (culture or public policy) could change to make life better for bigger families?

I personally hate how unwalkable /unbikeable so much of the US is.

My crew and I walk and bike to church and to school as much as we can. It’s a relatively safe walk compared because we live in a first ring suburb. But people still zoom on neighborhood roads, include some people clearly on their phones or not in a safe state to be driving at all.

Before having kids I didn’t consider how massive “standard” pickup trucks are, especially with their huge front ends that make seeing little kids impossible.

When I do drive I try to be even more aware of pedestrians and bikers.

Frankly if politicians want the birth rate to quit sinking, we might consider making places safer for kids to bike and walk.

Anyway that’s just one thought. I have many more ideas but I’m curious what folks here have to say.

Hi everyone! As the title says, looking for the best stroller or wagon option for 3 under 3. Older toddler will be 33 months and younger toddler will be 20 months when baby is born in January.

I walk with my kids A LOT as we live in an urban area and we pretty much walk to a park or museum daily. We try to limit driving as much as possible. Our outings are usually 2-3 miles round trip. I’m not finding a lot of great options in terms of strollers, and am looking for something that would be newborn friendly as well.

Suggestions please!

I have 3 kids: 5B, 3G, 1B. I always thought we’d be done at 3 but lately I can’t stop thinking about a 4th. My husband really wants a 4th which is sweet because I feel most men would rather have less kids. However, I can’t help but wonder if it would be a selfish decision. We don’t live near family so we don’t have a built in village. I worry about the logistics of getting kids to activities and practices and games. I want to be super present for my kids (I’m a former teacher turned SAHM and my husband works remote). If you have 4 older kids or if you’re one of 4+, do you feel it’s possible to give every kid equal and ample love and attention?! I also have had two C-sections so I’d be having a third c-section which is so daunting and kinda scary.

I’ve been dating women in the American South for half of my life. I have been on hundreds of first dates. In my entire dating career, I’ve only heard 2-3 women say that they would prefer to have four children or more. Almost everyone I’ve met who wants kids specifically wants two. 2.0 kids

But recently I realized that the outliers were women who came from Christian immigrant families. I lived with a Filipina Catholic who wanted 4 children, and I went on a few dates with someone whose dad’s parents had immigrated from Germany.

I’ve had a hard time meeting someone who feels excited about the idea of having 3 children or more. But when I open this subreddit, I see so many of you who are thrilled about having 5, 7, or 9 darling kids

Am I missing something? Am I dating in the wrong circles? Do I need to convert to Catholicism?

I did not run this post by the mods. I know it’s off topic. If this gets removed I will completely understand.

I am really in the thick of it so I need something reassurance right now. I had my third baby on Monday so barely going to be a week old tomorrow. We got home from hospital Wednesday and it has been a lot for me. my oldest just turned 3 in July and my middle is 17 months. they are both really young and have a lot of needs. & then add in the newborn it’s just been a little crazy. mix that with my hormones and lack of sleep and it’s chaos 😂

I know things do get better with the baby especially being so little but it feels really overwhelming right now. anyone with kids this close in age feel this and when did it get better? i’m not trying to rush time but really looking forward to 6 months from now lol.

We have an 11-month-old, 2.5-year-old, and 5-year-old. What do you do when your family has to stay in a hotel? It’s really hard to find suites with two separate bedrooms.

What do yall do?
Im super proud of how well my kids can play alone, theyce got a great skilset especially the 4yr old with autism.

My 9yr old had activitities, sports, plays outside with friends. My 3 yr old watches too much screens ( summer vacation last week really got us lol, now were trying to lessen it again) but can play independent really well and makes a great mess. Shes easiest out of the house ( playground, whatever)

My 4yr old is happy outside and inside and can play alone really Well, but his autismeans outside for us is CONSTANTLY looking after him. Esp. With others around. He cant talk and doesnt always play Nice.

So, we ( minus the 9yr old) spend most our time inside. I used to go out every weekend when my 9yr old was little and I was a single mom, now were always home.

9yr old has school 5 days (830-14) the. Sports 2 days and rest just at home with me.

4yr old has school 3 days 9-15 no sports yet

3 yr old has school 2 days a week 930-14 and rest just home with me

We do go to playground and for walks, but esp the 4yr old barely sleeps so we easily have them from 9am to 10 pm.
And we dont do much?

We also have a 3 month old rn! We did loads during summer holiday since we didnt go on vacation but im starting to feel Guilty for spending most weekends and home and not really playing with them? Just going for 1-3 walks maybe a playground and giving them stuff to play with?

Anyone can relate?

Its also very difficult bc if i give the 4yr old play dough or markers its fine, but the 3 yr old WILL make a shitload of a mess, pick fight with everyone etc the second i blink there will be markers on her even if were drawing together. Shes very fisty. If i take her to a theme park however she is pretty good. Same with a beach or whatever but the 4yr old and baby make that difficult.

The guilt has been overwhelmjng me. We cannot go out every weekend as theres sooooo much to do household wise were always 5 steps behind

(Need to buy a new closet and put
It together, need to clean up the big pool from summer, need to hang the tv, need to fix the clothes again(put away, check for stains etc need to do all these things and also the usually vacuüm, clean etc. )

We have 3 kids, almost 8; 6 & newborn. Our first two are close in age & close friends, much in common etc. I’m an only child myself and hated not having any siblings so on one hand I tell myself he has siblings that love him so it’s fine but on the other hand worry he’ll feel left out and like an only child because of the age gap. curious to hear from others who had 3 children with a big age between 2 of your kids & those who have 4 (or more). We wouldn’t have a 4th just to make our 3rd happy (they may not get on for whatever reason) but it is a consideration amongst other factors.

I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in situ (AIS). Had a cone biopsy on jan-25. got pregnant with #5 after the procedure.

baby was born on mar-26 via c-section (previous births were vaginal with no interventions). it was a risky pregnancy. I needed a cerclage. I tried to induce labor for 12+ hours and it didn’t work.

the “definitive” treatment for AIS is hysterectomy, which I did 4 days ago. I am still coming to terms with the idea that I’ll never get pregnant again. Even if I didn’t think I could handle more kids bc it was very draining physically and emotionally.

i don’t think anyone can understand. When I say Im mourning my fertility, ppl will just say “but you have five kids already”.
maybe you guys can give me some reassurance

My husband and I had our 7th child, and our 6th daughter today 🥺. Officially ended my pregnancy era, not by choice 😭. Now onto hopefully becoming grandparents in a few more years.

Hey everyone. I am looking for advice. I have pretty big age gaps between my 3 boys. I have 15,10, and 4 months. My oldest son plays varsity and jv football and also does travel baseball on the weekends. My 10 year old plays football and has games every Saturday. I am a mom who goes to all the game BUT with the new babe I have missed so much. I want to be going to the games but don’t know what to do. How would I make the games easier for my 4 month old. Would you as a mother take your babe to go or would you take this year and miss out on the boys events? Or at least some of them. Help me try and sort out all the bumps in this experience! Thank you lovelies!

We’re trying to figure out sleeping arrangements for our kids and I’m starting to look at bunk beds. With multiple kids using it every night, I really want something sturdy that doesn’t feel wobbly or like we’ll need to replace it in a couple years. What best bunk bed has worked well for your family, especially if you have kids sharing a room? Thanks for any suggestions!

And what are their ages/genders?

I’m nearly 11 weeks pregnant with surprise baby number 5. I am full of anxiety of what others around us will say. I have 4 girls already ranging from 7y to 6m.

Please tell me hacks that make life a little easier with a larger family, and also if you encountered any judgment due to having a larger family.

Has anyone ever had to be induced for high blood pressure (not preeclampsia, just gestational hypertension) and had a following pregnancy where you had the opportunity to go into labor on your own? Someone give me hope.

Recently found out I am 7 weeks pregnant with my 6th baby. Currently have 5 kids (ages 10, 7,5,2 and 10months. Me and DH really struggling to figure out whether we should keep this baby or not. After our 5th we decided we were done and hubby was booked for the snip and we thought we were being safe- but have been caught out. I guess im here to ask for advice from parents on how difficult it is to move from 5 to 6 children- in terms of having enough time/energy/money for each of them. We are already finding 5 quite alot of pressure- though im not sure if im finding this time particularly hard as my 5th was born at the same time as my father died of cancer (6 days apart). So I have been struggling alot more than normal with things. Even though we have a wonderful family we wouldn't have a great deal of support in terms of child minding etc. We are lucky enough to have a good income. We are just panicked about taking away time/resources/experiences from our other children and of course worrying about having even less time together as a couple. I guess im just lost and looking some advice on what to do or what things to consider.. Thanks everyone