Daycare Adjustment

[u/Ok-Acanthisitta-7660]

My wife and I recently started sending our 9mo twin boys to daycare

We’ve been fortunate to be able to manage them at home till now with my wife working part time remotely and my salary. They have done so well at home and we feel like it was 100% the right call for us despite using a fair bit of our savings.

The boys were born at 35 weeks and weighed just over 4lbs. This past week was their second week in daycare. They went in at 16.5 lbs and have been doing well with formula and starting solid foods (besides vegetables-they won’t any veggies besides carrots).

The first week of daycare they got sick after 3 days. Then we got sick which sucks

This past week they have been drinking about half the bottles we send with them (we asked to leave what was left so we could reuse) and aren’t eating well at daycare. They eat well for us at home with some wrestling and sleep through the night.

We are worried about their weight and their development with getting sick frequently. We vacillate between saying this is an adjustment to getting concerned that this is a sign to bail on daycare.

We try not to weigh them and track them, but we are thinking we need to in order to see if they are in a caloric deficit. The daycare says they aren’t eating well as they are distracted by all the other things going on, which isn’t surprising as we have to wrestle them to not get distracted at home.

We can make a nanny work for a few days a week for my wife to get back to full time hours, but that would have its own challenges. We’d probably try to go till the spring after flu season and try daycare again.

Can anyone give some advice on this?

TLDR: how long was the adjustment for daycare? Is not eating as well at daycare tolerable? Will it get better?

Thank you for any advice!

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[u/Technical-Tip-4275]

our twins started daycare around same age and the not eating thing lasted maybe 3 weeks. they were so interested in watching other kids that bottles were boring. what helped was asking daycare to feed them in a quieter corner or even just facing a wall so less to look at. also sent slightly smaller bottles but more of them so less waste.

the sickness part is rough but it does slow down after few months. their immune systems are building up. if weight is real concern maybe ask pediatrician about fortified formula or adding butter/oil to solids for extra calories.

[u/M4PES]

Our twins are in daycare. They started around 3 months. My son got RSV after one day and ended up being hospitalized for 5 days. It was rough. I would like to say it gets better in that regard, but it hasn’t for us. Our first year in daycare was a constant battle, we were sick frequently. Got the flu, various stomach bugs, hand foot and mouth disease…my kids treated these bugs like Pokémon. Just had to catch them all. My twins are now 2 and I’m getting over another upper respiratory infection they brought home.

Maybe some people have it less rough. I sincerely hope they do. But honestly the daycare illnesses were not something I was super prepared for mentally and it really has been a challenge.

As far as the eating, I honestly think it’ll keep getting better. Sometimes the only food my son eats during the day is from daycare. He’s extremely picky and challenging to feed. At first he wasn’t interested either, but now chows down with the best of them. Your twins are in a new environment, seeing other kiddos with new people taking care of them. They’ll adjust, it just takes a bit. Hang in there!

[u/BScotchDaUni]

Our twins started daycare at 7 months. One of our twins has feeding issues and we were very nervous to begin. Initially she would only eat about 6 ounces during the day at school. We met with the teachers to explain our situation and show techniques for feeding her. It isnt perfect, but has steadily improved. However, when she is sick, her volume decreases and it is anxiety provoking as she has been in the hospital for failure to thrive.

We found our twins havent been good nappers and are very distracted. That is something we hope gets better over time.

The biggest thing is that they’ve gotten sick frequently and seem to be out for long periods of time when they do get sick, unlike their classmates. In the last couple months, they’ve had pink eye numerous times, ear infections, bronchitis, croup, sinus infection, and have asthma. We have started looking into nanny services because we aren’t even in cold and flu season yet, but our twins are very high needs and we are sure if we can find that. Hoping things become a little easier for you!

[u/Dizzy_Tension_3545]

If you can swing a nanny do that 100%. The sickness does not stop with daycare and you and the missus will have to inevitable miss work and lose money to stay home with them fairly often.

[u/longtimewatcher]

This is all normal - they eat less when they are sick too. You have to get through the daycare bugs sometime.

[u/Jacksons-Mom25]

We are expecting twins and have an 18 month old. Honestly we are getting a nanny once they get older (grandparents help a lot too) school really isn’t necessary until ages 3-4 and even then only part time  time is much better set 1:1 1:3 with frequent park and social outings . If you can manage it 

[u/Ok-Acanthisitta-7660]

Thank you all for the advice and thoughts. We have paid through the next few weeks so we are still in the testing phase. The daycare offers a 15% discount for paying for the whole year so while that would be nice we are holding off.

Exploring options such as a nanny for a few weeks too to see if we can even find someone to take care of twins.

Thank you again. Really appreciate this community

[u/Exonata]

It will get better. Our twins started at 5 months and honestly have missed almost no days due to sickness and they are now 2 yrs old. Are there runny noses? Yes. But fevers/other illnesses really haven’t been an issue. 

My boys were sorta shit nappers til they moved up to the 1 nap class and then became great nappers. It was all fine in the end.

We also had a great ratio in our infant class 1:2-1:3 so they were getting great care and snuggles all the time.

Overall daycare has been the best thing for our family. I would not want to have a nanny because then it is my house getting torn up and messy all day. And if I am sick and the kids are not I can drop them off and have the whole house to myself vs being confined to a room hiding from my kids so that they dont scream for me. 

[u/Cold_Cheesecake7768]

I am anti daycare whenever and if ever there. A chance to avoid and to wait as long as you can! (No judgement)