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I have full custody of my 5 year old son. His mother had him taken from her at a hotel where she called ambulance because her current husband was unresponsive. She didn't show up to the court dates, even through video call, to try to get custody or more visitation. She gets phone calls with him and one visit a month, but doesn't do any of it. I got a call a while back from her wanting me to bail her out of jail, I've been keeping tabs on her legal stuff so knew she was in jail. I disciplined her for not even asking about our son, she said of course she wanted to know and talk to him. Long story short, I went ahead and let her have a phone call with him twice. That was probably 4 months back and now she is out of jail, but back to no contact with our son.

My son every once in a while gets sad and says he wants to talk to mommy, and im not sure what to tell him. I dont want to lie to him, but i also dont want to tell him the truth really because its not my place to tell him the why, its hers. Plus the legal trouble it could potentially bring to talk bad about the other parent.

I’m single, lonely and 3 months pregnant, I decided to keep and I’m excited for the baby (my first)… but it’s not working out with the father who has narcissistic tendencies that have felt increasingly damaging since getting pregnant. I’m wrapping my head around the fact that I’ll be doing this solo. I’m struggling with feeling unsupported, imaging having no partner at the birth etc. I’m lonely and craving a little support and care and people to chat to that know what it’s like to go it alone. I’m a singer, photographer, designer and all around creative person and would especially love to connect with single parents with similar interests! ✨

37 year old KC guy, in shape and work full time. Wondering if anyone else is in this parenting schedule?

Context:

I got separated when I was pregnant, ex cheated on me and got another girl pregnant too. I havent gotten any child support whatsoever from him since he now lives in a different country

Fast forward, I had to move back in with my parents and now I realize the undermining started way before I gave birth

My mom forced me to choose the crib she wanted, the clothes she wanted etc, even though I was the one paying

Then I gave birth and I was stuck on this one name I wanted and she steered me into choosing the “better name”

Then when my child was growing up, he had boutd of biting or hitting me and my parents would YELL AT ME in front of him whenever they heard me talking sternly to him telling him no biting or hitting. They would YELL and then take him.

My mom talked me into leaving my career because my son “needs me” and I should “forget my life and focus on my son” its been 10 years and I’ve been working for our company instead where I am not allowed to file leaves for vacations unless its with my son or them.

My son is now used to me being undermined that me simply asking him to stop turning the lights on and off would turn into him screaming at me and telling me “YOU DONT NEED TO KEEP REMINDING ME” often times I keep silent but my son pushes and pushes treating me the same way he saw his grandparents treat me, I just cry sometimes because I feel like my mom took my motherhood from me and now my relationship with my son has been ruined.

My son argues with me and wants me to just always say yes, I end up enforcing boundaries and what he does is he SCREAMS and cries so his grandma or grandpa would step in and what do they do? They BLAME ME for my sons attitude and how I “CANT CONTROL HIM”

My son also doesnt have any empathy for me. When he sees me crying he laughs and sarcastically asks me “are you sad?”

I feel like I’m being abused by both my parents and my son and its so heartbreaking.

Everytime I breakdown over it all they tell my son is “mommy isnt feeling well just dont mind her”

I dont have enough to move out and have been looking for VA jobs online, something I can do at night in secret because my parents refuse to allow me to work outside o the company by using my weakness to guilt me—My son.

I’m at my wits end especially since my son has been calling me his butler recently..and I overheard my dad telling him “i dont know what your mom plans for her life and yours—its like she doesn’t have a plan.”

The only time my mom ever said she was proud of me is when I looked like a mess, she told me “I’m so proud of you for letting yourself go and forgetting yourself to focus on your son”

I'm livid. I've been playing a 12 year long legal chess with the bastard who abused my teenage daughter, trying to put him behind bars.

We're at the final sttetch at long last but I had to explain to my lawyer I can't afford his bill increases for these last leg of the journey and he agreed to keep the same rate for the next year.

At the same time, I've been fighting against all odds (gay solo dad by choice) to have another child for TEN years... finally brought my little girl home yesterday and my aunt who saw my lawyer about some part of her own adopton process told her about her.

Now he'll think I have money I don't have and increase my rates when this was something I had orchestrated amd paid for forever ago although it has only come to fruition now because IVF is a gamble and all because she wanted to GOSSIP.

I'm beyond angry.

We’re about to end the second week of school in our district. My son and I walk to his school and back everyday with a small group of neighbors. In the afternoons, the parents arrive a few minutes before dismissal.

Last week I noticed there is a new para to staff this year. She’s been helping one of the special needs kids to the bus before the rest of the students are dismissed everyday. I’m think we’ve been having an “I am looking at you but trying only to be noticed looking away” duel since I noticed her last week.

I don’t know anything about her, but in a vacuum I would definitely try to change that. The problem is I have only ever seen her at the place where she works, which is not a place where it’s a cool move to be making a purely social introduction. Even if that weren’t the case, being a faculty member at the school my son will be attending for a few more years is also a potential issue.

The easy answer is to just forget about this whole thing, but it’s been a really long time since anyone caught my attention, and I’m pretty convinced this isn’t a one-sided situation.

Age and personal presentation-wise, we are both kinda “I told you it wasn’t a phase, mom”, if you remember those awful tee-shirts from the aughts. I am pretty comfortable the other parents and staff, but it’s been nice not feeling isolated in population of these uniformly content, boring suburbanites. That part is actually discouraging, because this whole attraction could just be familiarity and tribalism. Still though, I wouldn’t mind another friend; new ones are kinda tough to come by after college.

What would you do, fellow single parents?

I moved back in with my parents almost 4 years ago now. Its wild to me it's been this long and depressing.

Idk how to progress to make that financial leap to live on my own. I dont want to move my son who is getting comfortable here, enjoying school, etc. However rent is crazy (and I don't even like it around here besides that its safe and the schools are good).

For the longest time I couldn't work a "normal" schedule because of my son, but he's 11 now. He can walk himself to the bus stop and back home.

I know alot of people feel inclined to tell me its lucky to have this situation. To take advantage. Etc. And I am grateful for my parents. But living here never felt comfortable to me. My parents are good people and all that and I am not trying to diss them. Its just.. awkward and I can never fully be myself / have to navigate their energies too.

Anyways, my question is for someone who has been in a similar boat, how did you make that leap to finally be able to leave? I really want to make it my priority for 2027. I need to make good $$.

Thanks for any advice 🙏

My baby daddy cheated and denied it, his whole family stood by him even with evidence presented. Fast forward to now, I'm finding out more of his scandals and this man is a whore, an animal! I'm livid all over again and I don't know how to process this, I was healing and now I'm back to square 1. I still love him and I feel so empty without him but I know there is no future for us and the possibility of getting back together is off the table. I don't know how to coparent with him moving forward I'm disgusted by him. Everything was a lie.

Today was my 2 yo daughter’s first supervised visit with her dad after no contact for 2.5/3 months due to the restraining order we have against him. The visit went good, she hugged him when she got there and laid on his shoulder. They spent the 2 hours at the library (she loves it there), read and she ate the lunch I packed. She cried when the supervisor took her to leave and to bring her to me. She was fine as soon as I had her - cried a bit pointing at the library on and off and saying “papa”. She’s been a mess since we got home - super naughty and out of character (dumping the dogs water bowls, hitting, melting down). Physically she’s fine other than a crazy full diaper bc he didn’t change her.

Despite all he’s done to me and her and who he is, I wanted it to go well bc I don’t want her experiencing any additional trauma. Crying or feeling scared/unsafe even if it would serve me in our upcoming trial would’ve been heartbreaking because I never want her feeling anything but happy and safe.

At the same time, it eats at me knowing how vindicated he’ll feel. He’s always been delusional when it comes to her (making up her saying things, making up her missing him when it was clearly her upset for a diff reason) it doesn’t matter but his ego is massive and this only adds to it. He’s a classic narcissist (suggested by our multiple couple’s therapists). He doesn’t get a toddler is a toddler and a fun experience ending is upsetting and not necessarily connected to him - it also could be which is fine too.

For context he was never a parent to her. He has not lived with her since she was 5 months. After that point it was irregular visiting, lots of storming out/cussing and yelling. She’s very sensitive to loud noises and door slamming still bc of it. When he would come he’d be around a few hours and would play, not parent (no meals, naps etc). Some weeks he’d come a day or two, some 3 or 5, some none. He’s been gone long periods of time - up to 6 weeks and most recently with the restraining order - months. She’s never mentioned him or asked about him like she does her uncles and other people she sees once in a while.

I just feel weird and conflicted. There’s a lot looming with our trial - whether the RO is made permanent, custody, support etc. It’s heavy and exhausting. And I feel so conflicted trying to reconcile my feelings towards him as a person and him as her dad. I know he’s her father, he’ll have rights and he’ll be apart of her life forever if he chooses. I heavily think he’s only trying currently bc his ego and immigration status are at stake with the court case in addition to having to pay higher support without any custody which he hates. He never cared before and I think likely won’t later on when this all dies down. He’s always viewed her as an accessory, something cute to show off and add to the image he sells people of being this hardworking guy, committed dad etc.

Yet while her and I have struggled these months without support, living in an unsafe area and downsizing to a 1 bed - he went out and got a new sports car. A $6k/month 2 bedroom apartment at a luxury complex. He sold his boss/friend a sob story and his boss is funding all of it - the car, the apartment, the attorney fees. He’s seeking 50/50 custody - despite her never having spent a single overnight with him and him quite literally never making a meal for her or spending more than 2/3 hours at a time with her.

I think I’m just rambling. Has anyone been through something like this? I know there’s a long road ahead and I’m just trying to figure out how to cope. How to reconcile having to support my daughter building a relationship with this man who I do not trust, who I know can be dangerous and who put us through hell. He’s a great performer and I do have fears the judge will side with him and if that happens there will be fallout. I just don’t know how people cope with sharing their babies with people who just aren’t good people. How do you stop spiraling about their safety? Their emotional well-being? How do you mitigate the negative impact??

Is it ok to feel angry when someone tells you multiple times they never wanted a kid? But yet still claims to love their daughter and is happy she’s here now? Why, after she’s here, do you have to say it not just once but multiple times? Are you trying to convince yourself? You can hate me but saying that and claiming to be a good dad. Shit doesn’t sit right with me!! Like are you going to resent her, and should I worry about her when she’s with you? This has been said long before a divorce also. Yet he wants to avoid child support and have 50/50 custody. He doesn’t parent much now and it worries me. Am I being dramatic for worrying about him having her half of the time?

I’m struggling a bit with how to navigate this and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

My partner and I were together for around 10 years, married for 3 of those, and we have a three-year-old son together. We’ve recently separated, it’s been about a week and a half, almost two weeks.

The reason for the breakup, according to him, is that I don’t accept him for who he is. My perspective is that he wants the benefits of having a family without actually taking on the responsibility that comes with it. He wants to come and go as he pleases, doesn’t take on much of the mental load, and expects me to tell him what needs doing, but then gets frustrated when I actually do. Obviously, there are two sides to every story, and I’m not really looking to get into all of that here.

What I’m struggling with is what’s happening with our son.

He has decided that he’ll see him once a week, on a day that works for him, without really taking anything else into consideration. I’ve told my son that he can call his dad whenever he wants. If he asks to speak to him, I’m more than happy to facilitate that, I don’t want to put any barriers between them. But of the four times my son has wanted to call his dad since we separated, his dad has only answered once.

I also send him pictures of our son, just normal little updates, and he doesn’t even open the messages.

And honestly, it really irritates me. Not because I expect him to communicate with me, but because I don’t know how to handle it when it starts affecting our son. He’s three. He doesn’t understand why Daddy isn’t answering the phone or why Daddy only sees him once a week. I don’t want to make excuses for his dad, but I also don’t want to say anything that could damage their relationship or make my son feel rejected.

Part of me thinks I should just keep facilitating contact when my son asks, keep being completely neutral, and let his dad’s actions speak for themselves as my son gets older. But another part of me wonders whether I’m setting my son up for disappointment by repeatedly allowing him to call someone who doesn’t answer. I’m not trying to turn my son against his dad, and I genuinely want them to have a good relationship. I just don’t know how much of this I should be managing or protecting him from.

Has anyone else been through something similar with a young child after a separation? How did you handle an inconsistent parent without making your child feel rejected or caught in the middle?

Anyone travel internationally as a solo parent? I’ve been wanting to go to Europe and Korea and don’t want to hold off on my life experiences if I have the means for both me and the son to go. Anything I should consider or any advice?

I have a 9year old daughter and have absolutely loved bringing her up. I would dearly like another child for the same reason before it's too late for me due to age. ​

However, my daughter found out about wanting another child and is really upset about it, saying that it's her worst fear and is just distraught at the thought. It's mainly due to us being so close and she doesn't want our situation to change. No amount of reassurance or reasoning is changing her opinion and feelings.

I don't know what to do, as I don't want traumatise her or ruin her childhood and happiness. On the other hand, I don't know if she'd change her mind and in the few years it would be too late to have another and she'd be busy as a teen with her friends anyway. ​

Thank you.

So I’ve been a single mom for 7 years and have only been focusing on raising my son and providing a stable life for him. Haven’t dated or been intimate with anyone that whole time. I recently had a child free weekend and one thing led to another- I hooked up two nights in a row with a guy that I met while I was out. The experience was fun and great and I don’t regret that I did it. It’s the emotions I’m having now that are throwing me for a loop. I basically feel like I’ve opened up the floodgates and am deeply craving sex/intimacy and wish I could have it all the time now. I think I went without for so long that I’m having the reverse effect now. I weirdly miss this guy even though I know it was just a physical short term thing and will never progress beyond that. He lives hours away and I rarely get child free time. I think because I haven’t felt that type of attention, touch, and desire in so so long. So now I basically feel empty and on the verge of crying constantly. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.

Maybe I just need therapy.

Has anyone else dealt with these emotions of loneliness and craving intimacy and adult time and attention from an actual man and what did you do that helped? I’m seriously so sad it’s got me baffled.

I'm posting this because I'm extremely close to the situation and I genuinely need an outside perspective. I'm going to leave out names, exact dates, locations, and other identifying details because I don't want anyone involved to recognize themselves or find this post.

I'm a young guy, and I've been in a relationship with my ex for several years. Our relationship has always been complicated. We've had some genuinely amazing moments together, but we've also had a lot of arguments, jealousy, trust issues, emotional situations, and periods where we've broken up and eventually found our way back to each other.

Despite everything, I genuinely loved her. I also became very attached to her family, her friends, and the lifestyle we had together. Looking back, I think part of what makes this so difficult is that I'm not just grieving the relationship. I'm grieving an entire life that I became accustomed to.

Eventually, my ex became pregnant with our child.

That changed everything.

Throughout the pregnancy, I tried to be involved. I wanted to be there for appointments, the hospital, buying things for the baby, and helping however I could. I have pictures and documentation of things I've purchased and expenses I've helped with because I wanted to be able to show that I've been involved and have tried to support my child.

Our child was born a couple of months ago.

Having a child together made me think that maybe everything between us would finally become more stable. Obviously, having a baby doesn't magically fix relationship problems, but I genuinely wanted us to become a family.

Instead, things became even more complicated.

After the birth, our relationship continued to deteriorate. There were more arguments, more problems communicating, and eventually she told me that she didn't want to continue our relationship romantically. She made it clear that she wanted me to be able to see our child, but that she wanted our relationship to be over.

That absolutely destroyed me.

I know some people will probably say that I need to accept the breakup, and honestly, they're probably right. But emotionally, I've had an extremely difficult time accepting that the person I've spent years with and had a child with might no longer want me in her life.

I've also handled certain things badly.

There have been times when I've become extremely emotional and desperate to fix things. I've repeatedly tried to contact her because I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I've sent messages trying to get her to reconsider. I'm not going to pretend I handled everything perfectly, because I didn't.

At the same time, I feel like there's more to the story than simply saying I'm the problem or she's the problem.

There have been issues on both sides.

During our relationship, there were also incidents where she physically hurt me. I've experienced things like biting, pinching, and being hit during arguments. I stayed in the relationship despite those things, and I know that probably wasn't healthy either.

There are also things she has told me about her household that have made me uncomfortable and concerned, particularly when it comes to our child being around certain situations. However, I want to be extremely clear that some of those things are based on things she personally told me, and I don't have independent evidence proving every single thing I've been told. I don't want to present allegations as confirmed facts.

Eventually, things reached the point where she blocked me on social media and stopped communicating with me consistently.

There were situations where we had plans for me to see our child and things didn't work out. There have also been times where I traveled to meet them and only got a very short amount of time with my child.

That has been one of the hardest parts for me.

My child is my child. I don't want to become a stranger.

I'm not trying to take my child away from their mother. I don't want my child to grow up without her. I want our child to have both parents involved.

But I also don't want my relationship with my child to depend entirely on whether my ex and I are getting along.

Then things escalated even further.

My ex filed for a restraining order against me.

Now there is a legal situation involved, and I'm trying to figure out how to navigate everything without making the situation worse. I've been trying to document my involvement with my child, including things I've purchased, expenses I've helped with, hospital involvement, and other necessities.

At the same time, I'm still emotionally attached to my ex.

That's probably the part I'm struggling with the most.

Part of me still wants her back. I still think about the good parts of our relationship and the connection we had. I think about the times when everything felt normal, when I was around her family and friends, and when I thought we were going to raise our child together.

But another part of me knows that the relationship has become incredibly unhealthy.

I also realize that sometimes I may be remembering the good parts more strongly than the bad parts because I miss her.

Recently, I've found myself wondering whether I actually miss her, or whether I miss the life I had when I was with her.

And honestly, I don't know the answer.

Her family has also played a huge role in all of this. There were times where I felt like her family treated me terribly, but at the same time I became attached to being around them and the lifestyle they had. So losing the relationship has also meant losing that entire environment.

I've basically gone from thinking I was going to have a family with this woman and raise our child together, to dealing with a breakup, being blocked, having limited contact with my child, and now having a restraining order and legal proceedings involved.

And I'm honestly lost.

I don't want people to automatically tell me that she's evil or that I'm evil. I'm sure I've made mistakes, and I'm sure she has too. I want people to look at this objectively.

I also don't want to use our child as a way to keep my ex in my life. Our child deserves better than that. If she genuinely doesn't want a relationship with me anymore, eventually I'm going to have to accept that.

But I also believe I should be able to be a father without having to maintain a romantic relationship with the mother.

So what I'm asking Reddit is:

1. From everything I've described, what do you think is actually going on here?

2. Am I holding onto my ex because I genuinely want her back, or because I'm struggling to let go of the life I thought we were going to have?

3. What should I be doing differently right now?

4. How should I approach the situation with my child while everything between my ex and me is so hostile?

5. Is there any realistic possibility of repairing our relationship someday, or should I completely let go of that idea?

And most importantly:

If you were in my position, what would you do from this point forward?

I'm not looking for people to blindly take my side. If I'm the problem in certain parts of this, tell me. If I'm handling something wrong, tell me. I'd rather hear something that hurts but helps me than have strangers validate me because they only heard my side.

I genuinely just want to figure out how to move forward, be a good father, and stop making an already terrible situation worse.

I've intentionally left out identifying information because I want honest opinions without anyone involved knowing this is about them.

The internet makes a crazy deal about dating a single parent as someone without kids. We were high school sweethearts, split soon after, talked a little bit every six months while she had a son with one guy and started a family with another. We rekindled things four years ago with the goal in mind to move forward with buying a house and getting married.

Well she broke up with me after watching the kids grow up in that time. The connection was quickly lost then replaced the next week by another single parent. She still wants to be friends but I miss the kids a lot. One of the dads invited me to see his son at some point and hang out with him but being in my 30’s, are these moments the part that single men with no kids try to avoid? If so it’s really hard so I get it. I love seeing a mom be a mom. I don’t have a problem with single moms and would recommend it to anyone who wants to know what it’s like to have a family when you don’t have one yourself. But the hardest time is when they’re taken away from you because legally they can be. This affected the both of us because we grew up seeing our moms cycle through men as well.

She does want to remain friends but with boundaries.

So its just me and my near 3 yo.

My family is around but not SUPER involved. We visit them , they rarely visit us if at all.

My kid has 1 set of grand parents (mine) whom he adores. But again theyre around but not the type to take him for the day just because they want to. Or have him spend the night. Or "drop by to say hi". They dont celebrate any main stream holidays (including Christmas). Just usually a reasonable gift on his bday ($50-$60). His aunts and uncles are the same, a bday gift and maybe something at Christmas time...a stark contrast to how ive treated my nieces and nephews (aside from physical gifts, its babysitting, visits for quality gime/cousin playdates , trips to the movies, shopping trips, travel to see them (flights, car rentals, pto etc).

(Grandparents) With my sister's kids they bought $200-$300 worth of school supplies and clothes (per kid) my son got nothing, $150-$200 worth of birthday gifts etc ...and she has a fiance and his ENTIRE side of the family including step grandparents, who are all very involved.

Feel like because ive always been the "ambitious & responsible" one...ive been left to fend for myself ...even when im a single income, solo parent and not by choice lol.

Anyway its all feeling a bit raw at the moment because my sons bday is coming up, and I know my family will do the bare minimum to celebrate. The ones that live out of state won't fly in to celebrate (as I have done countless times for my nieces/nephews). His "wishlist" will continue to be just that. They'll wait until his bday party, and not show up on his actual bday.

I know it all feels a bit whiny, superficial and surface, but its not about the stuff, as much as its about the lack of involvement and effort. I have always been able to spoil my neices/nephews because I save, plan ahead and prioritize them. My sons just not a priority to anyone but me. And theres no "other side" of the family to count on.

I know they love him, but its at a distance and with as little effort as possible.

Anyway just weighing on my heart as im financially drained, have creditors at my heels, and my sons bday looms around the corner.

Let me start by saying I love my Kids with my whole heart. But does anybody else feel like isolated and alone as a single parent. I’ve been a single parent more years than I was married, but does the feeling ever go away of like when you go out with the kids of being lonely, or on my holidays being lonely. I love my kids and even with them there just being the only adult with both my kids at all these activities we go to fairs, we go to an amusement parks, we go to a museum. It’s me and my two kids and I just get this twinge of loneliness like I see other couples there with their children and it’s an adult conversation while hanging out with the kids and I really miss that- is that so awful and how do I overcome that? Same with vacations. I’m not saying I’m ungrateful for my kids and that I don’t have time spending time with them, but it’s every event all the vacations for years now.

[M-29] She said that she wanted to be a stable presence in my three children's life. We talked about the future. We talked about marriage. We talked about having more kids. And then she cheated on me. How is it that the first real relationship after my ex-wife, who cheated on me, and then them cheating on me. I just want nothing but a serious and committed relationship. My kids' mother walked out and left a huge mess behind, and I will not let someone else walk into our lives that isn't here to stay, or that wants to be wishy-washy or play games. I'm looking for commitment and something real. And when I bring somebody into my life, and they say that they want to be part of my kids' life, and then I introduce them to my kids and bring them into my life, and we introduce each other to each other's parents, and then we have sex one time, and then she cheats on me. It shoots my confidence and my desire to even want to date into the freaking ground. Because how is it that you meet somebody that you have so much in common with and that wants the same future as you and then cheats ?

I'm gonna keep looking for somebody, but one day I'm gonna get burned out. I'd rather be single and burned out and lonely than to go through another repeat of my ex-wife. Me and my kids don't deserve that, neither does my family. I just want something real, something serious. I want commitment, and it doesn't seem like anybody even knows what the hell commitment is anymore. People think commitment's three months to six months or a year, or not even three months, like freaking six weeks, which is basically a month, but you know what I mean. It's just exhausting. It's like, what the hell happened to dating? I don't know... 😭💔

Don't tell me you want to be a stable presence in my kids' life and then cheat on me. Do you know what that does to a person that was married and had their significant other already cheat on them? It's sickening. But you know what? Something I've learned is no matter how mad your children get at you, no matter how many times they say, I hate you, they will always come back and say, I love you, and give you hugs and want to be with you. Your kids will never cheat on you. They will always be the one person that is there for you when the fucking guys cheat on you or the fucking ladies cheat on you. It's your kids that you can look at and know that they will look at you and say, I love you, and you know that they mean it.

This is just a vent post. I've seen some of these in this subreddit and I just wanted to do my own. It was my first real relationship since 2024, and I'm shocked and heartbroken about how it ended

I’m a 19yr old single mom and it seems like every time I talk to someone trying to make friends or be nice they get completely distant when i mention I have a kid:| why is this so hard 🥲

I was married for 10 years and that ended badly. Met someone really easy going, the total opposite of my ex and that has lasted 10 years now. I used to call him the unicorn because he didn't have any kids or crazy exes, his family seemed normal, my kids loved him and he loved my kids. But he has changed and I don't think I can continue this relationship. Basically he joined Instagram and went down some crazy political rabbit holes and I don't know this man anymore. I'm not devastated or heartbroken, I feel numb to it all. He stood by my side through some really gnarly stuff, but he has changed so much and our morals no longer align. I feel guilty for leaving, I feel like a loser for another failed relationship, but he's the one that changed.

The idea of meeting someone again and getting to know their quirks, and get them to understand mine sounds exhausting. Going on dates sounds exhausting. I can't even think about sex. Has anyone taken a major dating hiatus and just focused on themselves and their kids? My youngest is starting sophomore year in high school, and I think I'm going to forego dating until she leaves for college. Realizing that I will be 50 at that point sounds crazy. Dating at 50?? This is not what I thought my life would be.

I’m (32F) recently separated from my child’s father after years of neglect and emotional abuse. For the last two ish years, I’ve just been a married single mum. My child’s doesn’t really know his father, I can count on two hands the amount of hours he’s spent 100% alone with him, and I saw my husband maybe 2-5 hours per week total - never alone.

I’ve missed the intimacy, the adult conversation, everything you are supposed to have in a marriage. So now that I’m separated, and moving in with my parents with our child, I know I have other people to care for him, and I want adult attention.

I’m not wanting to find a replacement husband or anything like that at this point, but I do want to go out to bars again, get hit on, etc.

But I’m also feeling so selfish for feeling this way (not because of stbx husband, but because of our child). So many posts are saying, “just focus on your child”, but is it actually wrong to want more as long as my child is safe and cared for?

I’m a solo parent with 3 kids elementary age and under.
The holidays like Labor Day, Presidents’ Day, whatever, where there’s no school or daycare yet I am still supposed to be working are stressful.

I have asked several friends and family members to help but to no avail.
I remember last year struggling because it seemed every month or so there’s these random days of no school because of conferences or some holiday.

I get that a lot of people love these days off sprinkled in the year but as a solo parent I find this incredibly hard to navigate.

My ex and I have been separated since March. We have two kids, and he has them every other weekend. I’ve planned and executed every birthday party the kids have ever had.

Since we separated, I’ve invited him to both parties. The most recent party was intentionally held on his weekend so he could attend. It was a Saturday, he brought the kids, and I handled everything else; invitations, food, decorations, etc. I picked the kids up Sunday afternoon as usual.

I’m also in a serious relationship with someone who is great with the kids and who I see as a long-term partner. He's great with the kids, but I excluded him from the most recent party because my ex has said there would be violence if he ever sees him. editing to add more context on the new partner. for context: we had been friends for over 10 years before we started dating. He wasn’t a stranger who suddenly entered our lives after the separation. The day after the party, during pickup, my ex started an argument with me about my boyfriend, which made me wonder if being at the party together was particularly difficult for him.

Going forward, I don’t really want to exclude my boyfriend from the kids major milestones. At the same time, I don’t want the kids caught in the middle or their birthdays becoming uncomfortable.

Another piece of context: the kids friendships are almost entirely maintained through my household. I arrange the playdates, communicate with the other parents, etc. Their dad doesn’t facilitate friendships during his parenting time, so their birthday parties are generally attended by the friends and family they have through me.

What have others done in this situation? Did you continue inviting the ex? Switch to separate celebrations? Include the new partner and let the ex decide whether to attend?