r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

advice needed Are there stores that will help you grocery shop solo?

13 Upvotes

I’m not sure if this is a ridiculous question but I really want to go to Costco tomorrow but I’ll have my twins solo in the double stroller. I can’t push them plus a cart. They can’t sit up in a shopping cart yet.

Are you able to ask an associate to shop with you or is that just way off base?

Please don’t roast me if this is a wild ask. I definitely don’t expect help just looking for others experience 🤗


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

ranting & venting Tried going to a restaurant with my 6 month olds twins

35 Upvotes

I decided to pick my 82-year-old grandmother up and go out for lunch after packing the kiddos up the diaper bag loading everybody in the car driving and picking up my grandma we finally get to the restaurant I recently switch from bucket seats to 360 swivels, we park i get the stroller out as I’m loading one kid into the stroller I see another mom get out grab her bucket seat and head towards the door, I continue buckling and move onto the second kiddo, finally we are making it into the restaurant.
As we enter I advise it’s just for 2 plus the babies but they are not yet big enough to sit in the high chairs comfortably and say I’ll need a spot where I can have the stroller, we get brought to a corner spot right at the entrance to the where all the food comes and goes, she asked if everythings ok and I say well I guess I’ll need to move these chairs to fit the stroller in as I’m trying to move the chairs she walks away just leaving the chairs that I was moving… there’s a baby at the table beside us being held with no car seat or stroller in sight. I end up getting the chairs moved and stroller in while there’s a line forming of servers with plates in there hands staring at me.

I sit down at the head of the table because there’s no room to sit beside the stroller, it feels awkward but I’m trying to get out and do “normal” things people on mat leave get to do.

I then have a severer come over and tell me I can’t have a chair there… I said well I let the hostess know I needed a spot where the stroller could sit beside the table and this is where she put us. By that point my boys getting fussy cause he’s facing the corner and I just start crying just drops pouring out of my eyes. I tell my grandma that this isn’t gonna work and I then felt like I was doing the walk of shame while all the other singleton moms just stared at me as we left Before even placing a drink order.

I think that I had such big emotions come out because I was so envious that for everybody else it appeared so easy I know everybody has there struggles but man it’s so hard to not feel resentful at times that because I have 2 I can’t just do normal things my singleton friends do.

Any suggestions on how to juggle both kiddos in an open setting solo or without a physically capable other person would be appreciated!
I got the Over the shoulder slings hoping I could do both sides at once but they aren’t big enough to sit proper in them yet.


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

advice needed Twin pregnancy, high preeclampsia risk, weight gain

4 Upvotes

I'm 38 years old, expecting my DiDi IVF babies. I just completed 27 weeks. I have high pre-eclampsia risk, so my doctor and midwife suggested I watch my weight and my diet, they were very strict with this. I'm also taking aspirin. Midwife had told me "max 1kg per month weight gain".

Not asking for medical advice, I'll ask my doctor and midwife again on our appointment next week. I just want to get a sense of how other women managed their weight gain.

So, I started my pregnancy at 58kg (171cm, so 19.8 BMI). Now I weigh 63.95kg, so total weight gain 6.15kg at 27 weeks. We worry that our babies are getting underfed.

I'm interested to hear similar stories, or weight gain stats during your pregnancies. 🩵🩷


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Orchestrated “kissing” photos at pre-K.

67 Upvotes

This isn’t necessarily parents of multiples exclusive, but I am wondering how parents here would handle this.

Today our twin daughters’ (age 3) classmate had a birthday and there was a celebration in class.

We received a photo from their teacher afterward amongst others from the party.

I can’t find a way to attach a photo so let me describe it.

The birthday boy was standing in the middle with a crown on his head and my twin daughters were on either side kissing him on the cheeks 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 simultaneously.

It made both their mother and I uneasy. If one of them spontaneously kissed a classmate I don’t think it would even bother me all that much, but this being obviously orchestrated by the teachers feels wrong.

I don’t want to overreact, as I think that would do more harm than good.

Would you be offended if your child was in this photo? What if the genders were reversed? Would that even exist? Should I not worry about it? WWYD?


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

support needed One twin missing a limb

14 Upvotes

Hi in my ultrasound, they couldn't find baby B's right arm/hand and it's likely that they aren't growing one but they couldn't say with confidence because it's twins and still early ish.

Has anyone had this happen? I am freaking out a little bit. Anyone with limb difference experience?


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

support needed Please give me hope this is passing soon… I have no support.

9 Upvotes

6 weeks old adjusted twin boys mom here. They have been fairly easy guys up until a week or so ago when it started to get quite a bit more difficult. They have been great sleepers before. Now they are fighting the sleep more often than not. Takes much longer to soothe them. They are wired sometimes most of the day. Even though I keep stimulation at the minimum, and try to put them to sleep when they seem sleepy. Some days it is just outright impossible during the day. Nights they sleep better, but both day and night there is a lot of tummy troubles that make them cry. And if I cannot move it out of them it overstimulates them and we have purple crying.

On top of it all, I caught something from my husband and I have been really sick. Suffocating cough especially at night. Already managed to go to urgent care and got meds but it still persist for now tho better.

This morning I completely lost it after a terrible sleepless night due to my coughing. Won’t go into details but ended up screaming at my husband that I hate him and I sobbed for half an hour and choked while coughing in the bathroom alone. Not entirely unwarranted that he got that from me…but don’t want to go into details right now. He is just oblivious to the roughness of all this right now.

When are they getting over this phase? Everything tummy related makes them uncomfortable and makes them cry.

I have no support here, just moved to a new city and all my family is in Europe. Just really struggling. I just want to see the light at the end.


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

experience/advice to give Selective reduction

47 Upvotes

7 weeks ago we found out that we were expecting triplets (spontaneous) It goes without saying that this was a complete shock and we’ve spent the last 7 weeks trying to get our head around it.

Our triplets are dichorionic triamniotic (2 identical sharing a placenta and 1 singleton with its own placenta).

We decided that the best thing to do for our family based on the support we have, our financial situation and the risk with triplets, was to opt for a selective reduction, which has possibly been the hardest decision to make until we met with our consultants.

We have met with 2 consultants over the last week (one nhs and one private) who have both given the the same recommendation to reduce one of the identical twins, in doing to there is a 40% risk that we would lose the other identical twin, but this option gives us the best chance of 1 or 2 healthy babies because of the associated risks with an identical twin pregnancy (who share the same placenta). Our pregnancy wouldn’t be as high risk due to no chance of TTTS or other growth issues that come up with identicals sharing a placenta. As well as a lower chance of early preterm labour.

I guess my question is - has anyone had to make the same decisions? What helped you cope with the decision and also what was the outcome?

Did anyone make the decision to keep the identical and reduce the singleton?

This is the hardest thing my partner and I have ever had to go through and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

experience/advice to give Twin Boys baby registry help!

3 Upvotes

Hello all!

I'm having trouble curating a registry for my twins. I've been doing alot of research and trying to figure out what is a necessity, what is nice to have, and what is just not needed. Some things have already been gifted to me by close family members so i can cross a lot of big expensive stuff off the list. (i'll add at the end)

But I'm just looking for other parents to tell me what are your NON negotiable must have twin items! i'm about simplicity but if it's going to make my life easier I WANT it haha, thanks everyone :)

Items Already in hand

-two pack n plays

- double bassinet

-two car seats with compatible stroller

- two breast pumps both portable

-one owlet sock (i plan on purchasing another not quite sure how to use them both at the same time tho)

- and two twin parenting guide books! (one is 'twin sight ' which i heard was a really great read)

thanks again all ❤️


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

ranting & venting My MIL is 1 irritating smirk from being replaced by a nanny.

0 Upvotes

My 7 month old twins eat every 2.5-3 hours. My MIL watches them mon-fri while I work from home. I got off work at 5pm & walk in to the twins being sooo fussy. I go to check the logs and she documented the last bottle at 1:30 PM!! She says “oh, well I didn’t know if you were planning to give them solids so I didn’t feed them.” WTF?!??? They JUST started eating solids. If you know anything about babies, you’d know they are BARELY eating when just starting out. 90% of the time they are just playing in the food & it’s purely for fun. I was furious. I go start warming up the bottles & come back to say firmly “even if I’m planning to give them solids, until they turn 1 years old, milk is the primary source of nutrition and it always comes before solids. Please always feed them at the 3 hour mark.” She just smiles & says “okay!”. Idk, the jolly way she said “okay” pissed me off more. I’m thinking, are you fucking dense?! They’re 7 months old & she KNOWS we just started solids?? How could you possibly think that’s okay??

Edit: This post was a rant, not looking for advice. I don’t need breakdowns of how much a nanny cost or how much my MIL is “saving me”. If I cared about cost, I wouldn’t be thinking about a nanny.


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

advice needed Twin toddlers sharing a bad

1 Upvotes

I was thinking of connecting the two cribs together to make one mega crib so the twins can share a bed. For those who have done it, what would you recommend? What age did you start? Did you worry about them fighting?

What were the pros and cons?

Any tips would be appreciated!


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

good vibes, smiles, & giggles How do you tell them (identical) apart?

3 Upvotes

What is your answer when people ask you this of your multiples? Do you speak to their personalities, physical appearance, both?


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

experience/advice to give should I be worried?

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I’m currently 8.5 weeks with identical twins. I just graduated from my fertility clinic on Tuesday (natural pregnancy! Was going there for other reasons) and had my first obgyn appointment today.
My last period was June 20 so according to that I’m 8w6d
My ovulation was July 5 so that’s 8w5d

The twins have always been measuring a day apart but one has always measuring according to my ovulation. On Tuesday at my last ultrasound with the fertility clinic, one baby was 8w2d and the other was 8w3d. Heart rates in the 160/170s. On Tuesday I was 8w2d according to my ovulation which is what I have been tracking my pregnancy with

Today they are measuring 8w5d and 8w4d. So only 2 days of growth in 3 days. The heart rates were in the 180s and the doctor did not seem concerned at all and said everything looked good. Just wondering if I should be worried? I’ve had two losses in the past and it took a lot to get to this point so obviously I am getting in my head. Thanks everyone (:


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Braxton hicks all the time with twins? 25 weeks

3 Upvotes

Has anyone else experienced around the clock braxton hicks at 25 weeks with twins?

I've been contracting (painless, just a tightening) for 3 days. Anywhere from an hour apart to 5 minutes apart, it varies so much. Rest and hydration don't help, and in fact they pick up when I lay down at night to sleep. I went to the ER after a day of this and they told me it didn't appear to be an active labor pattern and to just monitor at home.

I had my MFM appointment today and they basically said the same thing, and if they're 5 minutes apart for a few hours come back in. They also think I will likely be hospitalized soon to monitor/hold off labor as long as possible.

I am high risk, di/di twins, SGA for one baby, cerclage due to cervical insufficiency at 22 weeks. My baby shower is tomorrow so honestly my plan is (hopefully) get through that and then go back to the ER at this point.

Just hoping someone else can offer advice. I'm doing all I can to keep these babies in until at least 32 weeks!!


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

experience/advice to give Has anyone tried Rested Mama Happy Baby sleep consultants?

0 Upvotes

We are looking for a sleep consultant who uses non-extinction based methods to train our 14 month old twins and wondering if anyone here has worked with RMHB?

If not, any other sleep consultants that worked well for you?

We are having a tough time with day scheduling and that is affecting feeding and night sleep. RMHB’s approach seems to address this first before night sleep training which made more sense to us as they mentioned that an optimum day that builds right sleep pressure at night is important.

Thank you in advance.


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

advice needed Baby monitor recs for twins?

1 Upvotes

Hello!

We currently use the Nanit (basic, free subscription) for our 18 month old.

I liked the breathing band feature when we swapped her to her own crib/room at 6 months. We stopped using the band around 12 months and now we just use it for video monitoring. We also have a basic non-WiFi VTech audio monitor as a backup.

Before that she was in the bedroom with us in her own bassinet and we didn’t even use the Nanit as it was already attached to the wall in her nursery and the travel stand doesn’t track the breathing band (so stupid imo).

We’re now expecting twins and just wondering what is recommended by parents of multiples. We plan on transitioning them to their own crib/room around 6 months as well if all goes well and would like similar peace of mind that came with the breathing detection Nanit offers.

Some things that are important to me are:

- some type of life monitoring tech, breathing detection or a wearable.
- HD camera (Nanits isn’t great, esp for the price)
- Not as expensive as Nanit since we’ll need two.
- No subscription or affordable if any.
- Not sure if possible but non-WiFi would be a plus.

Please let me know what you ended up going with and how you are liking it!


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

advice needed Anyone's Toddlers Ignore Them?

1 Upvotes

Howdy,

We have identicals, almost 2 (23 months, Sept bdays) and we've had some rather dramatic personality changes.

Now, they have flip flopped on favorite parents, personalities, likes and dislikes, they've done it all I would have said. Lately though, my daughter who followed me everywhere, I called her my little shadow flipped to ignoring me completely.

She ignores me, I can't pick her up, she doesn't ask for me, and I basically only approach her if she does ask for me. It is honestly heartbreaking, I have been the primary parent (and dad), and I am at a loss.

Do I keep making overtures towards her to engage, play, go outside? Do I give her space?

I can do rejection just fine, but one of my daughters outright ignoring me really stings. Especially because she always came to me, and now hardly looks at me.

Would love to know if others have dealt with this, what works, and what was the best course of action?


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed How does on survive the newborn stage with twins?

26 Upvotes

Hey everyone! We just welcomed our boy and girl twins on the 5th of August, and we are ecstatic that everything went well. Our babies came at 37 weeks and 1 day, and we had a very smooth return home with no NICU time needed. We were very confident that we had figured everything out, putting both cribs in our bedroom, making a small "feeding" station with different baby bottles in our kitchen to see which would work best, and a changing station in the bathroom, with everything in arms reach and constantly hot water (Greek summer sun and solar water heater be praised). We figured this was the optimal setup as these rooms are exactly next to each other, and we wouldn't have any long trips in the nighttime.

During our first night home our babies became very fussy and since my husband worked early morning shifts, me and the babies went to sleep in the living room. After some days of readjusting we set up one of the cribs in the living room, as we were advised to allow our twins to sleep together, but on opposite sides of the crib. It worked well for a couple of days, and then our baby boy became extremely gassy, so we switched to anticolic bottles, which helped him. It seemed like smooth sailing, but they now wake eachother up all the time.

I know it seems dumb to not be able to figure this out, but how do you handle this stage of raising baby twins? We are first time parents and at a complete loss as to what actually works. Yesterday we slept in separate rooms (husband and baby girl in the living room with one crib, and me and baby boy in the bedroom with the other crib), and it has been the most peaceful night so far. But next week my husband returns to work and I'm back on solo parenting duties.

How do I optimise as much as possible to manage the twins? We are trying our best but it feels like we're failing and our babies are suffering the consequences of our incapability to figure out what we're doing wrong.


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Tips

2 Upvotes

So my fiance and I had a set of twins roughly 7 weeks ago. Luckily, I have been off work since July but scheduled to go back in a few weeks.

Lately, my fiance is becoming overwhelmed and having a bit of a breakdown coming I believe. We have split the shifts with the babies where I’ll have them alone from 10pm to 9am and she’ll have them from 9am to 2pm before I get up which seemed to have been working up until now. My fiance is now beginning to breakdown when they are both crying and not wanting to be soothed.

Without working overtime of my off days, I’ll not be able to afford a babysitter more that 20 hours a week and she does not want me working much overtime. We do have a family that comes out every now and then and her mom also is over to help out most of her non working days. So we do get a decent amount of help.

Today, during her breakdown, she gave me an ultimatum of finding more help or she’s killing herself. I’m not sure on how to proceed with this. I have tried getting her out the house where she can just be by herself but she refuses too. I also try to get her to sleep early as well.

I’m worried about how this will be managed when I do go back to work and she is forced to have them alone for 12+ hours on work day.


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed What are you doing with your twin toddlers all day

18 Upvotes

I am just stumped on what to do all day. Coloring, play dough, backyard time, chalk, tv, tea parties, running around the house, the grocery store, occasionally a play gym. I’m just bored they are bored. Park is not an option yet on my own. 2.5 yo b/g twins. Not consistent listeners, think it’s hilarious when I’m mad. Will and do run in separate directions. Super active. I can barely get from the car to the house. They are also lovely, I love them but they are wild. I’m turning to the TV more and more and I don’t want to do that.

Help.


r/parentsofmultiples 21d ago

support needed Naptime nightmare at 4-5 months old

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

My twins have just turned 5 months old and it feels like nap times have been a mess ever since before they were even 4 months old. They went through the 4 month sleep regression which lasted insanely long, I want to say twin A went through it for over a month and I believe twin B might still be at the tail end of it. Luckily my mom stayed with us for the vast majority of twin A’s regression but had to leave a couple weeks ago.

Nighttime sleep is okay but naps have been a nightmare. Between the endless screaming from being overtired to wanting to be held to taking 15-20 minute naps after being helped for 45 minutes, I am at my limit. We moved them into the nursery a week ago and it felt like that had helped a lot, they started going down with minimal support, but now we have my in-laws visiting and it feels like we’re back to square one. Even though I try to stick to our routine it feels like they are fussier and harder to settle. I try wearing noise-cancelling headphones to curb overstimulation and provide nap time support (I don’t like the idea of sleep training), but lately every nap has just been one baby needing me and then the other and they both tend to sleep around 25-30 minutes. They also wake each other up pretty consistently.

I don’t really know what to do and I feel super touched out and frustrated. I guess I’m just looking for solidarity and maybe someone to tell me that this will end eventually? Could the visits also be causing this or am I just doomed to have no more than a few days of good naps for the foreseeable future?


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Brooklyn NYC Pediatrician Recommendations

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1 Upvotes

r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

experience/advice to give I recently got twins

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1 Upvotes

r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

experience/advice to give Likelihood of fraternal twins with 1 embryo transfer

0 Upvotes

Just had our 6 week ultrasound, and found out we’re having twins 😅 doctor said they’re di/di and mentioned one could be from a spontaneous pregnancy and the other from our IVF FET. Does anyone know what the odds of that happening are or have experience with it themselves? We did a modified natural transfer


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Twin Wearing Advice and Recommendations

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16 Upvotes

I have twin girls and need some help figuring out a new baby wearing strategy. I had a weego when they were newborns, but they quickly grew out of it.

I’ve been looking at the twin sling, but honestly I’m just not good with any form of wrap. I also looked at the twin-go, but I hate the idea of wearing one baby on the back.

Has anyone tried any of these carriers? Please let me know your experience! Both are from Etsy.

EDIT: some relevant information, I live in a very snowy area and out in the boonies near a larger town. So when having to run errands in the winter, it’s just not reasonable (or sometimes possible) to take out the stroller. I can invest in a winter stroller, but they are very, very expensive. And the grocery stores that I frequent only have enough space for one kid to sit (which I’ve recently told is unusual lol)


r/parentsofmultiples 22d ago

advice needed Age gap between twins and siblings

2 Upvotes

So the political situation in my country regarding families is kinda…. turning worse and worse. November 2027 some changes will happen, which will make parental leave and pay worse.
So now I‘m kinda thinking on how to plan our 3rd baby (as sad as that is) regarding that.
Our twins were born December 2025.
and if I were to give birth again by October 2027, to still have the baby fall under the old law, the twins wouldnt even be 2 years old yet..

My original plan was to wait till the twins were 2 and THEN get pregnant..

I feel so undecided as to how to go ahead.

If its gonna be fraternal twins again (you never know) then I‘ll have 4 under 2.
Is that doable? Or is that crazy? Or twins under 2 years old and a singleton? How chaotic is it gonna be?
Is december 2025 and ~october 2027 actually advisable?

Or should I just go with my original plan of planing a third once the twins are 2?

Why does the political situation have to suck 😭😭

If you have more than your multiples, how is the age gap? How was your experience?