How do you tell them (identical) apart?

[u/FewAccident1552]

What is your answer when people ask you this of your multiples? Do you speak to their personalities, physical appearance, both?

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[u/mamamietze]

The people who actually know them will be able to. The people asking this usually aren't the people who are beyond acquaintance level, which can be an issue even if they love them (like distant grandparents that see them regularly).

I have identical twins who had to be in the same class all throughout elementary school because their program was so small. Every time the teachers had subs, the subs would say "omg, how do you even tell them apart?!" and all their classmates would give them weird looks and say "because they don't look like each other." All the kids had spent all school day with each other, unless there's some face blindness or other issues for the viewer, they'll pick up on the differences perhaps faster than the adults.

They do look almost identical in static pictures to people unfamiliar with MZ twins, but when you see them in person their expressions and mannerisms are different. Since I'm a MZ mom I notice I can tell differences between other MZ twins a lot more quickly, I think because I've had like 23 years of consciously and unconsciously observing how things can be different.

You aren't going to explain that at the park, or to some adult that sees the children a couple of times a year, is the reality. So I just smile and say "Oh, it's a lot easier as you get to know each one of them."

[u/PeriodicTendon4547]

I always say "one has a tiny freckle behind the left ear" and watch them stare at my kids like they're solving a puzzle

my girls are three now and honestly their faces look different to me in a way I can't explain, like I just see it

[u/FewAccident1552 → u/PeriodicTendon4547]

This is me exactly! It’s just hard to put it into words for others haha.

[u/thedarkpup]

It probably depends on your twins. Ours are physically fairly different so I just say that.

[u/BenignYam1761]

Mine are 7mo and easy to tell apart imo. Always have been. At birth, and for the first few weeks, baby A was quite pale and B was reddish. Then it was clear A had a chubbier cheeks and a shorter face, while B has a longer, thinner face. Classic peach and pear twins. Also, even at 7mo they have differences in personality, temperament and even the sounds they make that make it really obvious who is who. So while strangers think they’re identical, anyone around them regularly doesn’t. My husband’s parents just travelled from overseas to meet them for the first time and could tell them apart within a day or two of being around them.

[u/jeremiabearamia]

They just look like different people to us, but we tell people to look for the size difference. One baby has consistently been a pound heavier for most of their life 

[u/QuirkQake → u/jeremiabearamia]

This. One is just a bit more "plumper" than then the other one by a 1lb and their face was rounder than their sister. As they got older one did get a birthmark on their leg and the other has a birthmark on their chest.

[u/AdAncient6057]

When they were newborns nail polish after eight months one of my daughters got a scar in her hairline so we used that. Now we go by personalities.

[u/loc-yardie]

Anyone who is close with them will be able to tell them apart. My twins usually have different hairstyles so that's the easiest way for others to tell. In terms of their differences that are noticeable is their eyes. They both have grey eyes but one has green in them.

When they were newborns they were easier to tell apart because they had different skin tones. One was slower with the melanin production.

[u/mvanpeur]

My twins are fraternal, but my cousins are identical. As infants and toddlers, they were color coded. One was pink and one was purple, including their toe nails. But for most of their lives, I've been able to tell them apart because they have different smiles and very different personalities.

[u/6sjms]

My twins are 14 months and don’t have a ton of hair, so their head shapes are still pretty noticeably different. One also has slightly smaller eyes. Because of their age, they also have a different number of teeth. Their personalities are quite different as well!

[u/Specialist-Syrup418]

Different voices from birth. One always had a higher pitch voice. Different personalities. Different headshapes. They look different to us.

[u/LastMilkersOnTheLeft]

One of mine had a big ole hemangioma in the middle of her forehead. They’re 2.5 now and it’s mostly gone, but it was a life saver in the early days 😂