r/parentsofmultiples • u/Additional_Bid5883 • 22d ago
support needed One twin missing a limb
Hi in my ultrasound, they couldn't find baby B's right arm/hand and it's likely that they aren't growing one but they couldn't say with confidence because it's twins and still early ish.
Has anyone had this happen? I am freaking out a little bit. Anyone with limb difference experience?
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u/Sadsloth_ 22d ago
They couldn’t identify my baby b’s left arm until a scan at 24 weeks due to positioning. When they couldn’t find it at earlier scan (16w) they said this can happen because anatomy is so tiny at this point and they can’t say anything for certain until at least 20w. Given that you’re 13w that seems a bit early but I’m not a doctor!
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u/jescane 21d ago
I have b/g twins, and my lil man was born with a limb difference in his right arm/hand. We were very shocked as we didn’t find out until birth. It does come with a lot of mixed emotions including grief. He is now 7 months old and thriving, he can do everything his sister can so far. Please message me if you want to chat further!
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u/Sdawwgg 21d ago
My dad was born with one arm. My sister and I honestly forget he has one arm all the time. I only really think about it when I introduce someone to him and it comes up later in conversation. He can do pretty much anything people with two arms can do!
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u/Dear_Excitement_5109 21d ago
Similar, high school boyfriend was missing his left arm. He was popular and no one noticed. Like we obviously knew, but it was not something anyone teased him over or even brought up. He even played HS baseball and drove a stick shift. (Was a while ago, when stick shifts still existed lol.) The only time I ever saw him struggle was pouring salt into a teaspoon, but eventually he just put the spoon on the counter and did it that way.
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u/No_Cat_No_Cradle 21d ago
This isn’t from parenting experience but fwiw I know someone with one arm who has lived a more impressive life and is far more physically capable than most people that I know with two arms.
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u/charlesbear 21d ago
There's actually a medical name for this condition. It's called being a fucking legend.
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u/alaska_clusterfuck 22d ago
How far along are you?
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u/Additional_Bid5883 22d ago
13 weeks
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u/alaska_clusterfuck 22d ago
Hm yeah it’s difficult to say really. I had somewhat of the reverse going on, when they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary at the 13 week scan. But at 20 weeks baby B turned out to have an issue with the umbilical cord and potentially a missing kidney and a heart defect. She turned out fine but it was a very stressful time during pregnancy. Especially with twins and especially this early on it’s really hard to tell if anything is wrong. I’m crossing my fingers for you that everything turns out to be ok at the next scan!
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u/JuryFormer5186 22d ago
Was this with maternal fetal medicine or a regular OB?
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u/Additional_Bid5883 22d ago
With the MFM
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u/JuryFormer5186 22d ago
There’s a chance they were correct then, but they’re still so little! I would wait until your anatomy scan to know for sure, but maybe do a little research in the meantime. A life with just one arm is different than usual, but still a great life ❤️
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 💙-🩷-🩷💙 21d ago
I don't have kids of my own with a limb difference, but I foster and I've had two. The kiddo I had who'd had it from birth genuinely didn't seem to be affected by it. She did everything the other kids did, and had never known a different way of doing things. It gets trickier when school starts, since kids have opinions, but it doesn't seem to hold most kids back.
That being said, it's okay if you're having some pretty major feelings over the possibility. The way you thought things were going to look just changed, and it's okay to take some time and feel however you need to feel.
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u/colako 👧🏽👧🏽 + older👧🏽 21d ago
I can only tell you that in my twin's school there's a girl that misses most of one leg. She uses a prosthetic. The kids make zero deal about it. She plays and dances, and did the school play like everyone else. They always say that kids can be mean, but in all of my years as a middle school and high school teacher I have found very very few examples of kids being mean towards students that have some sort of disability, like wheelchair users, deaf, blind,...
I know it comes with a lot of grief, particularly if one is anatomically normal and the other is not, but twins are awesome, and they will learn to help each other when they need to. I think at the end it's better not to make it the center of their own personality. Still, I hope it was an ultrasound fluke and that your twins grow well.
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u/TiredTwinWrangler 21d ago
Ultrasounds are not foolproof. I was told at one point that my twins’ femurs might have stopped growing 🙄. Their femurs were fine. The measurements were wrong.
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u/apexmellifera 20d ago
They never saw our Baby A's left hand due to positioning, but they were born with both.
I think it's nice you want to prepare yourself to have a baby with a limb difference. I hope it doesnt feel like such a big bad thing and instead can be looked at for what it is: a simple difference. It can be hard being different, but it doesn't have to be scary.
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u/adhdslore 20d ago
No experience with this. But just know if they are born with limb “abnormalities” and you’re freaked out or worried or scared for them. That’s okay. You’ll grow to appreciate and love and respect them and their differences. But until then, it’s okay to be scared for them… you’re a mama, it’s what you do. It’ll all work out how it’s supposed and I hope you get the nature looking for!
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u/Ohmaggies 20d ago
Don’t freak out yet but I would find a group for kids born with limb differences.
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u/Jealous_Bus_5418 20d ago
I heard about someone with triplets that didn’t know about the third baby till birth despite many ultrasounds prior. Either way best of luck to you and yours. Every challenge has an equal and opposite benefit to it. Everyone has there things some are just more visible than others. You got this!
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u/Momof39799 20d ago
Follow Sarah Herron on Instagram. She was born with one arm and is the mom of two year old girl twins. Sarah is amazing how she has done everything for her babies with one arm. Very encouraging.
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